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view legcramps bio page
legcramps - Tuesday Feb 01, 2005

Weight: 128.5

Thanks BBody for your suggestion. I still haven't brought it up to BF.

Troubled and depressed today, yesterday, the day before. I could barely lift my head this morning to get out of bed. I shoudn't be overwhelmed, but I am. I'm at my breaking point and I have no idea how I got here in the first place. Seems like it just happened. Last night I sat on the couch and cried for half an hour. For no real reason other than self-pity. Kumbaya.

Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, peaches, toast, bread, weiners, low-fat ice cream. 1L water. No exercise.

Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, toast, weiner, sausage and brown rice, low-fat fudgsicle. 3L water. Meeting tonight, no exercise.

Hopefully I can cheer myself up today, but if you asked me to right now i'd probably try punching you in the face. You know i'm kidding, right?

TheMother on 02/01/2005:
Sorry to hear you're feeling down and overwhelmed. What I've told my kids and myself when faced with this feeling - is to take ONE thing at a time. Whatever is the first priority, address that, then go to the next thing and so on. It will all get done in due time. My suggestion is to prioritize what needs immediate attention and what can be put on the back burner for the time being. As for the proposal/BD situation, can your friend's BF propose to her on Friday night instead? If not, how's about he takes her to dinner just the two of them and you and your BF do your thing and then meet up with them later to have a celebratory drink? This way, your friend will have "HER" moment and your BF can have his. I have to agree with Biscotti on the part about having an audience present when something so personal should be intimate...at least that's my view.

Cheer up...things will get better.

TM


biscottibody59 on 02/01/2005:
I feel for you--I hope you get to feeling better--I know sometimes getting in some activity can help alleviate these feelings of despair--please take care of YOU today! Everything else can wait!



legcramps - Monday Jan 31, 2005

Weight: 128.5

Thanks, BTC for your concern. No, my weekend didn't go as badly as I thought it might. Actually, it went well. Okay, it went alright.

We went out once last week besides the pizza incident, for someone's birthday party. I had a grilled chicken caesar salad. I only had one drink that night, although Friday night I had a few more than that. I've been playing the Sims on the computer since I installed the darn game, and I can't seem to tear myself away from it long enough to accomplish anything else of great importance. I was awake until 2am on Sunday morning playing away.

My e-mail account isn't working yet. I hope no one has tried to e-mail me using the account I have set up here because I haven't used it in a long time. Once I get my new one up and running, i'll post it here for your info.

I'm impatient and stressed out.

I'm in a quandry that I haven't told BF about yet. His birthday is coming up on Saturday, but he hasn't planned anything yet. Yesterday my best friend's BF told me that he wants everyone to go out for dinner on Saturday and he's going to propose to her! I'm pleased, but I don't want to take the celebration away from BF's birthday. I need to be at this dinner because i'm going to be her maid of honor. Her BF said come to the dinner, then we'll all celebrate my BF's birthday. I don't think my friend would want this though. She wants it to be HER day and doesn't want to have to share it. I know because she already told me this. So I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions? I will have to talk to BF about it tonight.

Plan for Today: oatmeal and milk, peaches, toast with margarine, hmmmmm what else.......no planning done again today. I'm in twubble.

biscottibody59 on 01/31/2005:
Sorry, but I'm very cynical about marriage anyway: Why on earth would a couple want an entourage when they do the "proposal thing"--I find this odd and presumptuous of him unless it's just plain ceremonial and then it's just plain ridiculous! Just my opinion:-)

If I were you, I'd suit myself and my BF--too many toes potentially stepped on!



legcramps - Friday Jan 28, 2005

Weight: 128.5

So, movement on the scale = all out binge fest.

Yesterday: 1 packet oatmeal with 3/4c milk, 1c mocha, 1pc toast with margarine, 1c carrots, 2oz salmon with 1c brown rice and beans, 3L water. Then I installed internet at home and got stressed out, and then I forgot my key to get very important info pertaining to a meeting I needed to attend. So I inhaled a kit kat krunch bar. After my meeting, instead of working out, we drove to the local pizza place. I had one slice of pepperoni and ham pizza, then a small bag of chips, and a few ounces of diet pepsi. I wasn't hungry - I was looking for comfort.

So needless to say I think we can all kiss my beautiful loss of yesterday goodbye. If I quit having so many falls, I might actually start thinking that i'm getting somewhere...

Not at work today - updating at home. I need to send in some resumes today and look for another job opportunity, so comments will be few and far between again. I'm behind on most entries by a couple of days, but i'm doing my best at the moment.

Plan for Today: already had another slice of pizza and a couple gulps of diet pop. I don't know what my plan is. All leftovers are gone so we'll need to cook unless we eat out. I'm not in diet thinking mode today, which scares me a lot. Let's not undo everything i've done in the last two weeks, okay legcramps?

Much success today....

borntocry on 01/30/2005:
Oh, poor legcramps! Stress can be such a diet killer, can't it? I don't think you did too badly, though. It could have been much worse!

What I try to do now when I'm not in "diet thinking mode" is just to eat normally - not to overeat or binge. If you do that, then at least you won't be undoing everything you've done in the last two weeks.

Well, anyway, good luck, and I hope your weekend didn't go too badly!



legcramps - Thursday Jan 27, 2005

Weight: 128.5

Movement on the scale. Yes!

Yesterday: oatmeal and milk, mocha, toast with margarine, carrots, salad with dressing, 2oz sauteed (sp?) chicken with 1c brown rice and beans, 1c peach cocktail and a fudgsicle (40 cals). 3.5L water.

Surprisingly, that ended up being just under 1100 cals according to fitday. Today we're going for 1200 because i'm not doing much. I have a meeting tonight so i'm not sure if i'll be able to workout. Yesterday I did over 33 minutes on the bike. I count by kilometers, not by time, and I went 16km. That would be around 10 miles. Not sure how accurate that is though, and i'm also not sure if that means i'm doing well or not. I have to measure it somehow though, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't slacking off just to get the time in. If that makes sense.

Can't comment today, very busy at work. Tonight after the meeting i'm hoping to set up internet at home, so maybe i'll check in tonight. Have a good one everyone!

breakaway on 01/27/2005:
HEY congrats on the lose!! Way to go. Your doing a great job and I hope you get that internet hooked up tonight. Can't live without internet at home for sure ;)


borntocry on 01/28/2005:
WOW!



legcramps - Wednesday Jan 26, 2005

Weight: 130.0

I made myself a cup of coffee/NF hot chocolate this morning, and I can feel it in my veins already. For someone who doesn't drink a lot of caffeinated beverages, this is going to have me tearing up and down the walls today. But since I had a late night yesterday, I need it.

Yesterday: 2pc toast with margarine (finally finished off the tub and I got to buy Becel Light when I went grocery shopping last night - yay!), 1c carrots, 1c brown rice with beans in tomato sauce, 1c salad with dressing, 2oz salmon and 1/2c peach cocktail. 3L water.

I jumped on the elliptical last night for just over 11 minutes. BTC - you have a really good idea about using the elliptical first, then going on the bike. Except, I pushed myself way too hard last night and ended up winded for about 1/2 an hour afterwards. There wasn't any way I was getting my butt onto that bike. BF said my face was beet red, veins were popping out of my forhead, and I was laying on the floor in the living room - trying not to die. If that sounds funny to you, go ahead and laugh - I won't be offended...

Plan for Today: I had oatmeal for breakfast today (instead of bread - success!!), perhaps toast or salad for lunch, and chicken with brown rice and beans for dinner. Snacks: peach cocktail, cranberry juice. 3L water. Bike for 1/2hr. I'm going to try switching off between the bike and the elliptical instead of trying to do everything all in one day, every day.

Thanks for all the comments ladies - mucho gracias.

breakaway on 01/26/2005:
First of all I want to tell you that you are doing awsome! I bet you really felt a sense of accomplishment while laying on that floor! It may sound funny to some but I think it's a great accomplishment and I hope I"m someday laying on the floor as you were feeling that same accomplishment. You are doing a great job!


cowboy on 01/26/2005:
It sounds like your diet is right on track. Hey, those elliptical machines are tough, believe me I know! Ease into it, and before long you will be doing great; it takes while. Good luck!


skinnyjill on 01/26/2005:
Just reading that makes me feel winded!


geevee on 01/26/2005:
Your yummy dinner last night sounds very similar to what I'm going to have tonight.

Using flax meal is like using wheat germ. You can add it to meatloaf, soups, cereals and I suppose homemade breads, etc. Bob's is such a quality product. My son in Japan gave rave reviews about Bob's grits I sent him.


breakaway on 01/26/2005:
Thanks for the comment...Nick is a little over 2 1/2 months old now born Nov 2 04. He is just adorable! If you want to check out pics you can go to www.jaegerweb.com/gallery/ He is sure our pride and joy...we update regulary and have to get our daughters pics on there yet and more of our older son.


Becca27 on 01/26/2005:
Hi Legcramps! Thanks for your comments. It sounds like you had a good workout. I know I dont' push myself THAT hard, hardly ever. What is Becel Light? Must be a canadian thing. Do you know what I just LOVE from Canada? They're called "Scotish or Canadian Mints". They're big white, round candy mints. My grandmother lived in Canada for years and years and loved them. When she moved to the U.S. she could only get them when someone went to Canada. I remember how much she cherished those mints and how she'd happily share them with me. I've only had them once in about 10 years. Oh Gosh I've rambled. Anyway, what is Becel light?


Umpqua on 01/27/2005:
You have a very well behaved puppy! If we tried to let my dog follow the car I think he would for a while, then he'd get distracted by a squirrel or something and tear off into the woods. He used to run off in our old neighborhood chasing animals and trucks (scary business) so we're a bit protective of him in the city. I try to take him to a baseball field nearby whenever possible to chase a tennis ball. We have this awesome tool called a Chuck-it (looks like a big spaghetti server) that lets you fling the ball without touching it, as ours get pretty slimy and dirty. Hopefully it will warm up a little soon so we can walk again.



legcramps - Tuesday Jan 25, 2005

Weight: 130.0

Oh, i'm cursed, CURSED I TELL YOU.

Yesterday: 2.5L water, 1.5c potato casserole, 1c salad with dressing, 2 buffalo patties. That's the good part. Then I had 1sl pepperoni pizza, 1c cappaccino, 1c ice cream, 1 popsicle and at least half a loaf of bread. With margarine. Way too much margarine.

It was a hungry day yesterday and it was all I could do........nevermind, i'm lying. It was a hungry day, and I just kept on eating away. Nothing could stop me. It was a feeding frenzy. I'm upset, a little disappointed, and I was being overly judgemental this morning before work. I'm over it now, and there's not much I can do besides work it off. Which is what i'll do.

Yesterday I rode the bike for 33 minutes and burned 350 calories. I tried to step on the elliptical but after about 3 minutes I just about fell off the thing from exhaustion. We'll have to take that a little slower. Like next time, let's not jump on to the elliptical RIGHT after jumping off the bike.

Today's Plan: 2pc toast with margarine (why don't I just cut this crap right out????), 1c salad with dressing, 3oz salmon (fish! yum, it's been awhile) on a bed of brown rice. Perhaps carrots and 1c cranberry juice. Let's keep it simple today, legcramps. Simple is easy.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Umpqua on 01/25/2005:
Hey, your weight is holding steady and it sounds like you're doing great with the exercise bike. Yesterday seemed like a rough day for eating for a lot of people on here, including me. All we can do is move forward with a good attitude!


skinnyjill on 01/25/2005:
Oooh I like that quote at the end of yoru entry!

Don't over do it today. Be good to yourself!


geevee on 01/25/2005:
I HATE those eating days!When one comes there's just no stopping, and I fear today is one of them for me. A C of cereal plus 2Tbl. flax meal (60 additional cal.) w/ NF milk and I don't feel as if I've eaten anything! And why is it that we hone in on bread? That's all I have on my mind right now, so you are not alone. I'm going through today what you went through yesterday. I hope today is better for you.


borntocry on 01/26/2005:
Hi legcramps!

Well, that sucks. It seems like you didn't eat much on Sunday, so maybe that could have been what provoked your feeding frenzy! I've noticed that I really crave bread when I allow myself to get too hungry. It's best not to let yourself get to that point! However, I'm impressed at how well you recovered from it. Perhaps next time you should try the elliptical before the bike? I find biking pretty easy whereas from what I've heard the elliptical can be quite strenuous. So if you're going to do both, maybe you should tackle that first while you still have the energy.

Thanks so much for the comment you left me. You are so right about so many things! I do need to do more things just for myself. It's funny that you should suggest cooking my own favourite meal. It just recently occurred to me that I never do that. In fact I never even think about what I feel like having for dinner - I plan everything based around what I think my husband will like. And it's ridiculous because he doesn't even really care what's for dinner most nights!

So I'm going to try to take your advice in the days to come. I'm going to try to follow your example and get in some more exercise as well. I wish I could go out and play all kinds of cool sports, like you! But people don't seem to do that here. When my husband first came here he tried to find places to play pick-up basketball (whatever that means - I'm not exactly sure) but we found that there is a very complex system of organised sports here and it's very difficult to play without being part of the system. Anyway, I should probably just focus on getting the rest of my life in order first! Thanks again for your advice!



legcramps - Monday Jan 24, 2005

Weight: 130.0

Weight still holding strong at 130lbs.

The weekend went quite well I think, in terms of diet and exercise. Well, it went better than usual anyhow.

Friday we ended up going out to Pizza Hut for supper. BF really wanted pizza, so that's what we got. I had two pieces of pepperoni and bacon pizza, with coffee. We watched White Noise in the theatre afterwards, and I didn't get anything to eat or drink. So Friday ended higher than I wanted, but I can handle it.

Friday: biked 33 minutes; elliptical 10 minutes

Saturday I didn't exercise. We went for brunch and all I had was two pieces of toast with margarine and a cup of coffee. Later on we had pizza leftovers (I had 1 slice), then went to watch curling. I got a ham and cheese sandwich there, with a cup of fries with it. Saturday night is where the calories start adding up, as BF and I had company over to play cards and listen to music, and I ended up consuming some unneeded alcohol calories. Oh, did I say SOME? I meant A LOT.

Sunday was a great day, in my opinion. Slept in, got up and had a couple links of sausage with bread, played shinny for two hours then made potato casserole for dinner. I had one cup of that, and had thrown almost every type of vegetable into it that I could find in the fridge. It turned out surprisingly well for it being so 'off-the--cuff'.

Sunday: biked 34 minutes; walked 1hr, shinny 2hrs.

For those who may not know what shinny is - we play hockey on outside rinks with boots on and foam pucks or tennis balls.

I've given up volleyball until next season. I'm going to be busy with moving, my brother's wedding (in May), slo-pitch and this other committee i'm on. No more wallyball either. I'm giving up a lot to do this other stuff, but I think it will be for the best. We'll see.

Have a great day all!

biscottibody59 on 01/24/2005:
Shinny sounds like fun. You're really getting your exercise in considering your winters there--admirable from my standpoint!

We keep having one day 20F then 70F. Luckily it's dry, so no real impediment to getting out.

Have a good one and keep up the good work!


borntocry on 01/25/2005:
I just can't get over the variety of sports you play. It's really impressive. Who do you play with? Do you just have a group of really sporty friends or is it different people every time? I'm surprised you even bother with "exercise" when you're so active as it is.

I have the same problem with pizza - my husband loves it and unfortunately there's a Pizza Hut quite near where he works. Even more unfortunately the cheapest thing on the menu is the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet!

Thanks for the comment you left me, by the way. I hope my mood does improve over time, like yours did. I can't think of anything in particular which could be stressing me out, but it could just be a cycle where one person does something to irritate me and that puts me in a bad mood and makes me more likely to get irritated by someone else, and so on. Oh well, at least things seem to be improving with my husband, after our little "date".

So people actually watch curling?



legcramps - Friday Jan 21, 2005

Weight: 130.0

BTC - great minds think alike - i'll explain below.

Yesterday: 1/2c strawberry yogurt, 1c ww pasta with 1T ketchup and 1/2T parmesan cheese, 1c potato casserole with 2pc sausage, 1c french vanilla cappaccino, 3L water.

I don't think i'll beat 3L of water, but maybe I can at least match it.

Yesterday I biked for over 31 minutes! Moving up slower now, but at least i'm still moving up! I also jumped on the elliptical for just over 10 minutes. That felt awesome as whenever i've tried to get on that thing, i'm huffing and puffing uncontrollably after only a few minutes. Having the t.v. down there helps so much. I'm watching Mean Girls right now while I work out. I can't wait to work out tonight so that I can finish the movie! BF doesn't like watching chick flicks, so if I keep renting them and watching them only while I work out, imagine all the working out I could get done! What a wicked idea! Yehahah *uncontrollable laughter*. I think i'm going crazy with all this extra energy.

It was hot and cold all night with BF. I would get into a conversation with him, remember the last couple of days, then stop cold and ignore him. Oy, i'm such a terrible girlfriend! Anyways, I finally got up the courage to 1. thank him for the flowers, 2. apologize for being so grumpy the last few days and 3. explain why I was being that way. I don't know how I did it, but once I started it was really hard to stop! I actually got everything out, and i'm hoping for a quick recovery time! Tonight, BF asked me 'out' on a date. This is why such great minds tend to think alike BTC. I asked him for more time with just the two of us. We're going to do the supper and a movie date tonight. I don't think we've gone anywhere just the two of us in months.

Plan for today: 1/2c yogurt, 1pc cheesetoast, hopefully a salad and grilled chicken or something for dinner, and 3L water. Snacks: milk, cranberry juice, 1 serving twizzlers.

This weekend I want to accomplish: some packing at my apartment and my continued success with exercise and diet! Have a good one today ladies and gentlemen!

borntocry on 01/24/2005:
Wow! Great minds really do think alike, hehe. I hope your date went well. And I'm glad you talked to your boyfriend about the past few days. I hope you guys are doing better now!



legcramps - Thursday Jan 20, 2005

Weight: 130.0

I weighed in last night because i'm so twisted in the head that I can't stick to my weigh once a week programme. Ah well.

Yesterday: 1/2c yogurt, 1pc cheesetoast, 1c potato casserole, 2pc sausage, 3pc twizzlers (1 serving which is 150 cals), 2L water.

I'm slowly upping that water intake, but yesterday it was hard to get that much in for some reason. I'm taking it slow today because I don't want it to make me sick. I'll just sip and see where I end up.

I biked last night for over 30 minutes! I burned over 300 calories (at least, that's what the machine told me) and my legs were burning so much afterwards. Tonight I have a meeting so i'm not sure if i'll be able to bike, but i'm hoping that I won't let the meeting deter me from the roll i'm on right now!

Thanks for the comments ladies, I really appreciate it. I'm much more calm about things today, but anything can spark it back up so i'm carefully watching what I say and trying not to take everything BF says literally. He bought me flowers yesterday just before lunchtime and I didn't even notice them until late last night. I feel bad for that, but don't understand why he bought them in the first place. He's not the 'spur-of-the-moment' kind of guy, to just go out and buy me flowers because he wants to, which is the reason he gave me. I think he bought them because he knew I was going to go nutso on him and he was trying to avoid a fight. Believe me, ladies, if I could just forget about the incident I would. Unfortunately, that's not the way my mind works. I desperately want closure on this, but i'm too passive to talk to him about it, too stubborn to just let it go on my own, and too ignorant to think that he really hasn't done anything to me at all. *sigh* The mind - such a terrible thing to waste on such trivial matters as these.

Have a wonderful day today - stay strong. BTC - I have heard of those 'mini-bikes'. I think it's a great idea!

borntocry on 01/21/2005:
I totally know what you mean. I've been having problems with my husband recently too, and I'm also too non-confrontational to bring them up with him but also too stubborn to just let them pass. So I end up dwelling on them and growing more and more resentful and irritable with him, which isn't really fair to either of us. But I asked him out on a "date" last night - we went to one of our favourite restaurants and spent some "quality time" together and even though I didn't end up talking about what's been bothering me, I feel better about it anyway. Maybe you and your boyfriend could try to do something nice together too - it might help clear your mind a little!



legcramps - Wednesday Jan 19, 2005

Weight: 132.0

BTC - to answer your question about where i'm moving, i'm actually moving in with BF. I'm trying to save money because I might be out of a job in about a month or so (term position) and since he owes me money he'll be letting me live there rent-free. And, i've seen Eastenders!! Only once or twice, but yeah, that's exactly the relationship I have with Everybody Loves Raymond!

Yesterday: 3pc toast with margarine, 4oz cheese, 1c salad with dressing, 1c potatoe casserole, 3pc sausage, 1.5L water. I can handle days like this.

I biked over 27 minutes last night. Eventually, i'll hit 30!

Plan for Today: 1/2c peach yogurt, 1c salad with dressing, 1c potatoe casserole, 3pc sausage. Snacks: 1pc cheesetoast, 1c milk and 1c cranberry juice. 1.5L water again, and biking.

I purchased a new computer yesterday. After a lot of haggling over price and himming and hawwing I think I got what I want. I didn't get the big sale package, but i'm happy with what I have. I still need to get a printer, but that can wait. In about a week or so, i'll get internet hook-up and then I can talk to everyone so much more!

I'm majorly pissed off with my boyfriend. I'm trying to calm down, and I know eventually i'll be okay and i'll be able to overlook this last couple of day's events. I'm feeling quite worthless in his eyes right now and it's causing me to act out with bitterness. It boils down to this: we made a pact to work together and try to be more trusting of each other; i've worked my a$$ off to make sure i'm not doing something that will inspire anger in him; he's not giving me the same respect. Last night I was more than angry with him - I was furious. Of course he doesn't know why yet because he got home so late that I was already sleeping. Grrr.

My puppy is growing so big! He's 50lbs now - when we first got him he weighed only 8! He's so long and lean right now because he just had a growth spurt, such a beautiful boy!

Yesterday it was 0 degrees celsius in the morning. Today it's -17. Shucks, I was hoping spring would come early! Have a great day all.

skinnyjill on 01/19/2005:
BF's can be sooooo crazy. Mine just up and left to New Orleans for three or for days... w/out me :-(

He's basically and only child growing up. (his sister was 16 when he was born) So he's sort of spoiled. He's 23 and still lives with his mom. I was the thrid of 3 children. even though I was a baby and Daddy's girl, I still knew what it was like to not get my way. BF is used to getting his way all the time.

Boys are more trouble than they or worth sometimes. I guess we women just nee dto have a little patience with them.

have a good day


borntocry on 01/20/2005:
That's it, you've inspired me to dust off my mini-bike. (It's sort of like an exercise bike but only the pedal part - I have to sit on a chair or lie down to use it. Sounds absurd, I know, but it's actually very common here where living space is at a premium.) Hopefully this will help me get in a bit more exercise now that it gets dark too early for me to go running on weekdays.

I hope you and your boyfriend work things out soon. If it's any consolation, he probably doesn't even realise he's doing anything wrong. Boys aren't as perceptive as girls, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I'm really fed up with my husband these days too. He's been very argumentative and critical lately and it's really getting to me. But I'm sure it's just because he's upset or worried about something that has nothing to do with me. That's just the way it is for a lot of guys...



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