- Wednesday Aug 04, 2004
I have a lot of days to catch up on, I know. Let's see...
Thursday I had 2 ham and turkey sandwiches on brown bread, with cheese whiz. Then I had chicken fingers and fries at the concert grounds, but I only ate the chicken fingers with a dill dip that was absolutely amazing!
Friday I had 2 smokies, and 4 chicken fingers with dip again. Friday I also danced like crazy for about an hour and a half straight.
Saturday I had 2 hot dogs and a chicken wrap. I walked at least 5 miles in total that day.
Sunday I had 2 smokies, some cheesies and chicken fingers with dip. Haha, just can't stay away from those chicken fingers, but what do you do when those are the most healthy things you can find? Sunday I went swimming and got a good workout there.
Monday I had a cheeseburger and fries and a medium pop on the way home, and salad and lasagna once at home (take out).
Yesterday I had a chicken sandwich and then made pork chops and wild rice for dinner. It was okay, although the rice was a little sticky. I also cooked some corn in the microwave. Suprisingly, it wasn't all that bad. I went for a walk to the movie theatre (about 1 mile each way), and actually did go for a jog during the day. I started jogging as soon as I hit the dirt road, and made it about 200 yards before I had to stop. It was disgracing! Oh well, hopefully i'll do better next time.
Chickie-Mauie: I had another dream, same night as last week's dream. Let me tell you about it. At first, I was in a field that I recognized as our local ball fields. There was some kind of war and bombs and guns were going off. I remember that I was running toward the road, and I was hanging on to another girl. She would've been around the same age as myself, but for some reason I had the gut feeling that she was a very important person and I was trying to save her from getting killed. It was very dark outside, and we would constantly be running past people that were dark with dirt, with rags for clothes, terrified and crying. Then my dream skips to an apartment that I used to live in when I was going to school. I was sitting on the couch with a cat and a book about dogs. We were flipping through the book and my cat asked me when the book was going to get to showing cats. The voice of my cat was the voice of my boyfriend! And I remember calling the cat by my boyfriend's name. He told me that he wanted a cookie, so I got up off the couch and walked towards the kitchen. On the way, I had to pass the front door, and for some reason decided to check to make sure the door was locked. There was a deadbolt on the door and as I checked it I realized that it was indeed not locked. I opened the door and checked the hallway. I turned the bolt. When I pulled the door in to check the lock, again, I found that it was not locked. I opened the door and checked the hallway again. By this time, I had a feeling that there was someone out there, but everytime I checked the hallway was empty. I turned the bolt again. This time, as I turned the bolt one way, there was a pressure on the other side of the door turning the bolt the other way. While fully realizing that I was soing a stupid thing, I decided to open the door again and check the hallway. Again, no one. Then, just as I was closing the door, someone pushed it in and advanced on me. I lost my footing and fell into the couch. A man's face came down upon me and I drew in breath getting ready to scream. That's when I woke up. I woke up drawing in breath, and I just about screamed when I opened my eyes. Not for any other reason but the face of the man in my dream. I remember it clearly. Blondish hair cut short, brown eyes. Black hoodie and jeans. It took me over an hour to get back to sleep, after crying to myself and trying not to remember the dream.
Today i'm having left over rice, corn and pork chop for lunch, and rice and corn for dinner with cooked ham. As soon as I find a recipe that will tell me how to cook a ham. See, i'm trying at least!
Have a good one!
- Wednesday Jul 28, 2004
1:30pm update - Just wanted to write this down, in an effort to actually make it happen! When I get back from holidays on Tuesday, July 3rd, I will start jogging. My attempt will be to jog everyday except on Mondays for the rest of the month of August. HA. It is written. It must now be done.
I'm not going to be around after today until Wednesday of next week, so I weighed myself this morning. I'm really going to try and take it easy with eating on my days off. I don't want to go overboard, especially now since i'm doing so well.
I had a serving of chips and a cup of coffee, beef stir fry, one boiled potato and half a cob of corn. I didn't drink enough water, but I was in terrible spirits so that's probably why. Yes, I get really grouchy when I don't get enough sleep.
I had the most awful dream last night. I'll try and explain it, but it's really sketchy right now. I remember being naked and asking people to give me back my clothes. They wouldn't, and they would just look at me as if I was asking a ridiculous question. Next thing I know, i'm in an institution (like a hospital or mental ward or something) and i'm desperately trying to run away from SOMEONE that's after me. I'm ducking into and out of secret corridors and falling down stairs, all of this - still naked. I finally make it out of the building, and I pull over some guy in a red Topaz (I swear it was a Topaz) and ask him for help. That's when I realize that I now have clothes on (oh, the magic of imagination: clothes on, clothes off, clothes on...) and I also have five or six friends with me. We're all apparently trying to get away from the 'building'. We get into the car and the driver crashes it into a tree in a rural neighborhood. I get out and run into the nearest house. Doors are open, lights are on, but i'm the only one in the house. I run to the phone and try to dial 911 but my hands are shaking so much that I can't press the numbers in properly. My friends are now gone, the driver is gone - and you won't believe this ---- i'm naked again. That's when I woke up. Go figure.
Today I missed breakfast again but i'm holding out until lunch. I don't need another serving of chips, thanks anyhow. Tonight i'll probably head over to my grandma's for dinner and later on it's HIT THE ROAD and enjoy my holidays!! See you Wednesday!
- Tuesday Jul 27, 2004
Thanks for your comments, borntocry. I can see how I was just searching for excuses to not get started with jogging. I'm going to start working my way up to jogging when I get back from my 'holiday' this weekend. A couple years ago, I was walking almost every day for about 1.5 hours, and I had worked myself up to jogging for about 15 minutes before I had to stop. It sure felt good to be able to accomplish something like that. I would definitely be going for stamina here. I used to be a really good sprinter, but I could never last more than 200 metres. Cross country running is something I would love to be able to do.
Yesterday I had another pb&j bun after work and then played ball. After ball we all headed to the bar (we lost, so we're out of the playoffs - yay, no ball on Wednesday!) and I kind of forgot about eating dinner. I had one -or- five too many drinks, and ended up getting home pretty late.
I did manage to make most of my phone calls yesterday, but I still have so much to do in the next two days! It's unbelievable. And on top of that, everyone stuck me with the job of getting groceries for us all. Well, they don't know what they got themselves into. Raw veggies and grilled chicken, here we come! No, just kidding. But I should. I really should.
This morning i'm really tired and can't wait for the workday to end. I had a capaccino and a serving of chips because I was running late and didn't have time for my regular bun. I don't feel energetic at all, but I have to get through the day somehow.
Hope everyone is doing well. Talk to you tomorrow!
- Monday Jul 26, 2004
I re-weighed myself on Friday morning and decided to post what I saw. It's better than 141.
The weekend was okay as a whole. I got a lot of visiting done, some exercise in, and a whole lot of rest. I'm stressed out today though because I could've been getting my crap together for this weekend because i'll be gone camping from Thursday until Tuesday. And nothing is packed, and I think we're leaving Wednesday night. Argh.
Anyhow, this morning I had another pb&j bun. Lunch was fast food (burger and some fries), and dinner I just don't know what that will be. I WANT to stop and get Subway, but I don't know how much time i'll have. I don't want to make anything, because then i'll have leftovers and I don't want that when i'll be gone for almost a week. Come home to a stinking house. Which was clean (yay! for once) when I left it.
I have ball tonight, a meeting tomorrow, ball on Wednesday and then we leave. And when I get back I get to do all the preparations for a ball tournament our league is having. Crap, that reminds me of a few thousand phone calls I have to make tonight.
Okay, this is ridiculous and I won't subject you to it anymore. I'm outta here...
Biscotti - The recipe for those flax buns is simple - same way you'd made regular white buns, except you're using 5 or 6 grain flour instead of white flour. Get creative! Do whatever you want! Good luck with it, let me know if you try it and how it works out!
P.S. - my boyfriend's sister jogs a few times a week, and everytime she talks about it, it makes me want to jog too. How do I make time in my life to incorporate this? And what happens on the days that I can't be outside because of weather? And how should I gauge how well i'm doing?
- Thursday Jul 22, 2004
I didn't have the greatest day yesterday. After work, my boyfriend and I were both in grumpy moods, and we would squabble back and forth and then give each other the silent treatment the whole night. It was pretty stressful, and because of it, I skipped dinner. Because one of our arguements was about dinner and what we were having and blah blah blah. We ended up going to the movies without eating anything and that's never a good idea. I grabbed popcorn as soon as we got there (my boyfriend had two big containers of popcorn - yeah, I think he was hungry by then!) and a twix bar and that was my dinner.
Today so far i've had a pb&j whole wheat bun. Lunch is chicken and veggies and dinner is I don't know. Maybe Subway because i'm lazy and in a grumpy mood today.
Ball was cancelled yesterday so no exercise. And because of fighting, I didn't get any cleaning done either.
It's a good thing we only remember the good times....
- Wednesday Jul 21, 2004
Tomorrow morning I have to remember to weigh-in, because i'm off on Friday and won't be around to post my weight until Monday. It's hard to remember to weigh-in when you don't do it everyday.
Yesterday I had chicken breast with veggies, one cookie, 1/2 an orange, some seeds while watching fastball, a few beer and a couple pb&j whole wheat buns. Ahhh don't know.....
I didn't do anything for exercise last night, unless you count almost freezing to death sitting on bleachers watching ball. Yeah, someone should've reminded me to bring a jacket. Anyways, I got to bed fairly late last night and I feel extremely tired at the moment.
Today I plan on maybe heading out for lunch with my boy because it's raining today so he's not working. At least, I don't think he's working. So hopefully chicken or salad or something like that, and save half for dinner tonight. We're supposed to have a ball game tonight, but it looks as if we won't be playing due to the weather, so no exercise from that. Maybe I can get my boy to help me clean tonight instead, that's a little exercise at least.
Well, take care, talk to you tomorrow (hopefully with good news).
- Tuesday Jul 20, 2004
Hello all. My day yesterday was another rollercoaster of emotions. I have to learn to let some things go; not everything can be the way you want it to be...
I played ball last night and worked off some major calories running around. It was extremely humid last night, so you can imagine how much I was sweating. Put our team together and who needs a lake??? We just formed one ourselves. Ew, picture that. Swimming in sweat. Yuck.
Afterwards I had a shower and watched a movie. I wanted to sit in the pool again, but once I was home I was not leaving for anything, that's how darn lazy I am!
Today is looking nice so far, the skies are clear and very blue, and the sun is streaming down. I'm inside where the a/c is running out of control and i'm freezing, but i'm hoping that when I go outside for lunch it will be nice and warm and i'll be cozy again for a while. Tonight i'll be watching fastball out of town. I want to do some cleaning because my Dad is coming to visit on Saturday and I desperately need to clean up! So maybe some of that tonight, if I can get my boyfriend to help me.
That's all - pb & j on whole wheat bun for breakfast, chicken and veggies for lunch, chicken and bacon wrap for dinner (had one yesterday - darn they're good! And low carb!) and an orange for luck.
- Monday Jul 19, 2004
The weekend was a rough one for me. It figures too, because it was probably the most beautiful weekend weather-wise that we've had this way in a long time. I got sick on Friday afternoon and had to leave work early to go home and sleep. I didn't do anything on Friday night besides watch t.v. I ate a whole ham and turkey 12" sub all by myself, and sour cream and onion chips because I felt sorry for myself. Yes, emotional eater I am.
Saturday my boyfriend had to leave to work out of town until Monday; I tried to get up and move around but I was still sick and just not in the mood. I had a chicken sandwich and fries for lunch and for supper. I then was starting to feel better, so I phoned up a friend to go for coffee. She was on her way to another friend's place for a housewarming, which upset me because I wasn't invited to this housewarming party; to be specific, I was the only person from our 'group' of friends that wasn't invited. I got really upset (emotions were running wild that night) and felt even more sorry for myself. I just tried to go to sleep as best I could, and when my boyfriend showed up at my doorstep the next morning, I fell into his arms, crying my heart out. He listened to me cry for a bit, then basically told me to suck it up and we went golfing.
Last night, because of the heat, we decided to buy a paddling pool. Found a nice enough one, set it up in my boyfriend's backyard and filled it up. It was great! So nice after walking around golfing in 30 celsius heat! We must've sat out there for hours! I slept really well last night, and now here I am, ready for Monday! Well, not really 'ready' because i'm still kinda tired and i'd rather be sleeping, but you know what I mean! Okay, stop rambling!
- Friday Jul 16, 2004
I feel not great today.
I'm retaining fluid like crazy, must be 'that time' of the month. And yesterday I did not do very well at all. And i'm going to blame my boyfriend for that. Yes I am.
He suprised me and came home yesterday, was here by lunchtime. I was very pleased to see him! What a great suprise! We went out for lunch and I had breaded chicken bites, a few fries and water. I ate half and saved half. Then my boyfriend told me I should try and get the rest of the day off. And I pretty much was able to. So I drove over to his place and -0-0-0-0- ate the rest of my lunch. I'm not sure why. There was probably around 700 calories just in lunch. Then we played some catch and went for a cruise. He had to play fastball last night, so we grabbed something to eat on the way out of town. I had a cheeseburger, a few sips of rootbeer, and water. I only ended up drinking about 2.5 litres of water yesterday. That was all I ate thank goodness, besides a few seeds while watching ball, but that was definitely enough to do the job. When I got up this morning, I was 2 pounds heavier than the last time I weighed. Okay, I know I need to exercise more, but I WAS eating fine up until yesterday. Two pounds HEAVIER? It's just not fair.
It's hard to keep that motivation going strong now, especially since it seems to be so NOT worthwhile anymore. My goal is to feel good, but if it means having my spirits drop everytime I see a gain - then it's not happening, is it?
Re-evaluation time. Again.
- Thursday Jul 15, 2004
Hello all! I had a good day yesterday, and I can feel the weight slipping off. Tomorrow morning is weigh-in day, and I hope I don't screw up today!
I ran around during slo-pitch yesterday so much that I thought I was going to puke. No lie. One inning while walking out to left field (they throw me around everywhere!) to play, I almost turned around and walked my old tired body home! I pitched after that, thank God. It was a little too much for me, but i'm sure I needed the exercise.
Yesterday I had a whole wheat bun with pb & j for breakfast, grilled chicken, brocolli and cauliflower for lunch and grilled chicken and corn for dinner. During the game I had 2 beer. I thought I deserved them, for being good for a couple days (!!) and also for drinking 4 litres of water.
Today i've had my bun for breakfast and i've got leftover chicken and corn in the fridge for lunch. I brought 3 litres of water to work with me and i'm hoping to be able to finish them, but so far I haven't even opened a bottle up! Okay, let's get to work....