moogy - Tuesday Apr 26, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name. Andre Breton
Today I am grateful for: my daughter, who looks after me, my grandchildren, who love me, accepting what I cannot change
Hello Lovely Girls, It is really chilly this morning, overcast with patches of blue. It will probably be a lovely sunny afternoon. I think I have mentioned this before, but, I love this time of year. I was born to live in a gentle green cool climate. It makes me happy. My daughter and I were in the garden yesterday and it was raining lightly and she said "Mom, look at the weather, isn't it fantastic" funny girl! I don't know where she gets it from.
Of course, I had every intention of going back onto a real meal healthy diet yesterday, unfortunately my fridge only contained yucky vegies, I am now restocked and good to go. I have a huge pantry stocked with food for the zombie apocalypse but tinned and packet food does not make up the main part of my diet. I eat mainly fresh food, fish, chicken, lots of vegies and some cereals and nuts. Of course, I have to have a little dark chocolate and not being a zealot on the food front am happy to indulge myself with the occasional treat. Anyway, I am glad to say my fridge now contains fresh vegies and I am writing my food for the day below so that I know I cannot waver!!!!!! I hope you girls have a good evening and a great day tomorrow. Love you girls:)
Today's Planned Food
porridge
basa fillet, honeyed carrots, peas
bodywise bar, hot chocolate
spicy chicken thigh, cauliflower, green beans, gravy
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Monday Apr 25, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life. Isaac Bashevis Singer
Today I am grateful for: wonderful rain, people who care about me, winning the battle again
Hello Lovely Girls, It is late on this rainy Monday afternoon, nearly five o'clock. I have been battling with my depression for a few days but am finally coming out the other side. I should have expected it, it seems to hit after every seizure. This time I think I was enjoying the lovely Autumn weather and the cool that it sneaked up on me. Only thing to do is lay low, sleep and wait for time and my medications to get me through. I am feeling much better and up to about 80%, which is pretty good for me. I am having intermittent dizzy spells but apart from that no ongoing symptoms of the last seizure. I see the neurologist on the 23rd of next month and hopefully will get some answers.
On the food front - I haven't been dieting but neither have I been over eating. I did have a couple of Easter treats but haven't been eating very much. Just the usual too many carbs to lose weight. Anyway, I am back and hopefully will be back on my wholefood diet tomorrow. Actually I don't think I have had a real meal in days, just snacks. I am looking forward to eating real food again. Oh!! if only my physiology would allow me to be one of those depressed people who just don't eat and fade away!!!! Of course, I can never resist the urge to feed myself when hungry even when I am low. Come to think of it food is always the answer, come rain, shine, and all the cloudy bits in between. Thank you to those of you who have been looking for me. I am afraid I am days behind in reading diaries. I will catch up with you and your lives tomorrow. I still love you and am sooo grateful to be part of this group of wonderful women.:)
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Sunday Apr 17, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness. Zhuangzi
Today I am grateful for: my ability to see things in perspective, seeing the whole picture, being content to wait
Hello Lovely Girls, Perfect weather yet again!!! I am still stumbling along with one wrapped up finger and keep whacking the wrong key. Never the less, onward!! I liked today's quote because happiness has always been something which due to my illness has eluded me, I have been content, joyful, delighted, entertained, peaceful and lots of other lovely things but ongoing happiness has always seemed to me to be a concept more than an actual state. Not withstanding this difficulty I feel that I have always tried to find the silver lining in an other wise confusing and down right difficult life whilst ****e seems to fall on me at regular intervals. I think it must be the real me that is striving to overcome the daily me who looks for the whole picture and sees that in the end most of this 'stuff' doesn't matter and it is only the things that are really important that count, family, love, knowledge. After all these are the only things we get to keep in the end!!
I am attempting to go back on my 'real' diet today, not sure how I am going to go with the cooking part of it but my finger has healed sufficiently that I can get it wet and just re wrap. So I have a menu planned and I must say that I am soooo looking forward to eating healthily. I know I enjoy eating what I want but find that after a few days I physiologically just want to eat good food. I think this old dog is learning new tricks.! I hope you all finish off your weekends well and have a good week in front of you. We are in are last week of school holidays and are all still sane and not a lot of yelling has been heard. So thumbs up!!! Love you girls:)
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Saturday Apr 16, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination. Nelson Mandela
Today I am grateful for: people who love me, my Saviour, my faith and strength
Hello Lovely Girls, Another sunny fresh day here in Sydney, perfect for my birthday. I didn't go to church today as the princess and the angel are coughing and sneezing all over the place so my daughter took the big boys and I stayed home and babysat. I got lots of cuddles so I am just awaiting the arrival of the sniffles myself. Se la vie!! I didn't post yesterday because I was feeling a little flat, this not being able to drive is really getting to me. It isn't as if I drive as lot anyway, but actually not being able too is making me feel like an old lady. I mean I would like to go to the plant nursery and get some new plants for my balcony, I would like to get my hair cut, you know have a meander around the mall. My daughter is too busy even though she would drive me, I feel it is an inconvenience even if she says she doesn't mind. She has enough on her plate with the four children, her course work and all the health issues she deals with. I am just going to have to pull up my big girl panties and suck it up princess. There are people in a lot worse situations than mine. I am planning on snuggling under my warm blanket today to hopefully fend of any lurking bugs from downstairs and watch movies. My eating is a little on the blah side as well. I am not eating a lot, just not the best stuff. I had to buy prepared food due to my cut finger (who knew how wet your hand gets when you are trying to cook). Never mind, I dare say in a couple of days I will be able to get back to my wholefood diet, she says with her gammy fingers crossed!!!! Have a wonderful weekend girls. Love you!!
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Thursday Apr 14, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
Love is the foundation from which your decisions about your life should be made. Darren L. Johnson
Today I am grateful for: living in peace, access to plenty of food, clean water to drink
Hello Lovely Girls, It is another lovely morning here, although I have broken out my throw over electric blanket, I is getting a little too chilly in the mornings and I am not putting the heater on just for a couple of hours. You were all so gentle and kind is your comments yesterday re: my relationship with my husband. So, just to clear up a few questions/matters. No, he doesn't have a girlfriend (I think he tried to have a girlfriend once but it didn't work out - a matter a desperate woman and a lonely man, I know who she was, no competition!!), I realise that being in my mid fifties doesn't mean my life is over. However, I am a married woman and in love with my husband and would never even dream of even thinking about another relationship. Even if I was free to do so I would never bother with a man again, I don't believe they are worth the effort required! Before we separated we talked to both physiologist and physiatrist to try and work things out, in fact we talked so much that I think he just clammed up and hasn't talked since!!!! Dealing with me means he has to deal with his own monsters in the wardrobe and he doesn't have the emotional reserves to do that. As for moving on, I figure if I was going to move on any further than I have I would have done so by now. What am I suppose to be moving on to? A new man, no thank you. Like I said yesterday I am in the middle of a love story, and the heroine doesn't just say "I am moving on" she waits patiently and with anticipation for her lover to return. She lets love be the foundation on which all her life decisions are made. I was a princess for thirty years and just because the prince has got himself lost doesn't change the fact that I am his princess. (He used to wake every morning and say "Morning princess") I am holding out for something real that I know exists and will be given back to me. Real love takes courage, patience, endurance and understanding, I have all those qualities and one day my husband will be overwhelmed with the joy he feels at the power of my love.
I had an average eating day yesterday, mainly due to the lack of being able to use my right hand, I managed two bowls of cereal and two pieces of spicy fruit loaf, oh! and a few choc chips, I typed that really quickly in the hope you wouldn't notice!!!!!LOL Love you girls, have a wonderful day and don't forget to show the people you love how much you love them. Love is precious and fragile and needs to be cared for. I will be 55 on Sunday, I can feel the wisdom descending on me as I type!!!!! LOL
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Wednesday Apr 13, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time. Lawrence Durrell
Today I am grateful for: enduring love, a strong and undefeated heart, the joy that awaits me in the future
Hello Lovely Girls, it is chilly here today, the sun is shining so it will warm up later. I hope that your temperatures are rising to a more pleasing range wherever you are. I found today's quote and immediately knew I would have to use it. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16 and that was it. I was talking to some friends when he walked around a corner, he was wearing white Levi's and a white Levi jacket, he stopped walking and I stopped talking, our eyes locked and it was as if time had stopped. We married when I was 18 and he was 19 and are now in our mid fifties. Slight problem is that we have been separated for nearly 10 years - it is due to emotional problems that he is unable to deal with from his childhood complicated by foolish mistakes he has made and military service. I feel as if I am living a love story, but it is the bit in the middle when the lovers are parted and yearn for each other. Yes, I know, it all sounds a bit wacky!! However, it doesn't seem to matter how much I try to rationalize with myself and get to grips with reality. I know in my heart that he still loves me and I love him. Circumstances have conspired to separate us. I believe that families are forever and that we will be together when we leave this world and our love story will continue without all the problems and pain. So for now I submit to the arbitration of time and trust in my own understanding and the confirmations I have received through prayer. This love story will have a happy ending. The fact that every time we see each other their is electricity in the air and he always asks my daughter how I am is a pretty good indication that the connection survives.
I had a reasonable eating day yesterday marred only my a late night battle with some small packets of chips I keep for the children. Fortunately they are not very nice and I managed to keep it down to only three. A small victory. I am just meandering along here staying under the radar (the calorie radar) but without the enthusiasm that I had prior to the seizure. I think I may be a little depressed (more than the usually Dysthymia depressed), it is sometimes hard to work out what is going on inside my brain. Know I don't know if the seizure has affected how I am thinking as well. Can sometime please lead me to the exit, I am getting sick and tired of myself now. I find sick/ill/incapacitated people really boring and I seem to be turning into one. I walked out of the house yesterday and my daughter had to pull down my top which had got stuck in the back of my bra. I am turning into a old lady before I am ready!!!!! Yikes!! Next stop incontinence pads!!!!!!! Well after that little ramble I am sure no one wants to swap their life with mine. I will continue to find joy in the beauty of nature and the beauty and endless delights of my grandchildren. I will also continue to enjoy my time with you and enjoy your successes, failures, struggles and lives as we all deal with what life throws at us and we do the best we can to juggle the balls. Fortunately as women, our strength, commitment, desire and compassion help us through life's pitfalls with grace, serenity and friendships. Love you girls:)
Yesterday's Food
weetbix, skim milk, xylitol
2 CAMP muesli bars
dark chocolate
3 very little bags of chips (really, very little!!!!!)
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Tuesday Apr 12, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATINING EPISODE
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. Albert Camus
Today I am grateful for: trees, gentle sun, my beautiful granddaughters
Hello Lovely Girls, Another lovely morning here in Sydney. It was the princesses sleepover last night, didn't go to badly although she did try to cuddle me to death!! Not a bad way to go I suppose!! I can see a nana nap in my future this afternoon. The big boys arrive home today and the princess goes. It is like musical children because it is the school holidays for the next two weeks. I will just love who is here, mind you losing the princess is like losing 75% of the demands, difficulties and general noise. You wouldn't believe how disruptive this delightful little girl can be, so beautiful and clever but really lives up to her name. The other three are easier to care for than she is!! I suppose that is what you get from having royalty in the family!!!!! The angel and her mom just came up because they had caught a kangaroo mouse in the house, they are just like ordinary mice only smaller and with great big back feet (just like a kangaroo) and hop around. We suspect it has eaten some poison that we keep down is secret places, so a little sad, the angel said that she wanted to hold it and her mom told her she couldn't and she said " It scared of me", so cute. Her mom told her yes, because she was so big.
I had a pretty good day yesterday, managed to slice a piece of my right finger on my right hand off and now I am bandaged up. I knew cleaning would end in calamity sooner or later!!!! LOL I don't know if it isn't one thing it is another. It is so frustrating because it is taking ages to type this and correct all the errors I keep making. I can get it wet for a couple of days. Rats!!! I makes it hard to cook, wash up and wash me. I am sure I will manage. LOL I have a quiet day planned, no baking because there are no afternoon teas for a couple of weeks, so just a little cleaning and figuring out how to feed myself with only one hand. I am sure where there is a will there is a way. Thank you for all your support about my tests and ongoing medical stuff, it is lovely to have people who care about what happens to me. You really are a wonderful group of women. I love each of you who come and read my entries.:)
Yesterday's Food
weetbix, skim milk, xylitol
seasoned chicken thigh, mashed potato, peas, gravy
chocolate walnut brownie
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Monday Apr 11, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETRMININATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. Jane Wagner
Today I am grateful for: the smell of newly mow grass, friends who come to the rescue, generosity of heart
Hello Lovely Girls, I is another beautiful Autumn day, the sun is shining and I am feeling good. We have had problems with the lawn cutting since my SIL went on his sabbatical!!!. The lawn mower broke and my daughter can't afford to have the lawn mown. So we have been borrowing a mower or the lady over the road had done it. Well, about ten minutes ago, two big angels from church (good friends) just arrived and started mowing, no announcement, just started work. I have a little framed saying on my sideboard which says " When we are doing His work, we are His hands", too often we pray and hope for help. More often than not the help is provided by human angels who perform random acts of kindness. I could just go down and hug them, they would be embarrassed, my daughter is in tears through gratitude. The real blessing of this is that they are giving us the lawn mower!!! My heart is full!!
Well, onto the medical procedure, I managed to stay awake until 1am and then couldn't sleep until 1.30, woke up at 2.30 and stayed awake until 4am, reset the alarm until 6am and woke at 5.45am. Feeling like death warmed up I immediately threw off the covers to keep my cold and awake. It was a nightmare of a night. After all that I couldn't go to sleep during the EEG, I drifted a couple of times but it was to noisy to go to sleep. I mean, I could have done that after a good night's sleep anyway!!!! Grrrrr!! I haven't got a follow up appointment until the 23rd May. That is one of the disadvantages to living on the edge of the city limits, some rare condition specialists only come for one day a week and off course my neurologist only comes out here on Mondays. Anyway, I am going to try to put it out of my mind until necessary, still getting dizzy spells so am moving slowly and holding the balustrade when going downstairs. I am back to healthy eating and listing my food for perusal. I choose the quote on purpose today as I can feel that I have put on weight and have no intention of getting on the scale until I feel as if I have lost weight. Working on the principle that I can delude myself into thinking I have only put on a few pounds (I suspect more!!).
Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I slept most of the day and was pretty tired even when I woke. I slept for 12 hours last night. Feeling full of beans this morning (well, that is an exaggeration, maybe full of rice!!! which is pretty good for me anyway). I hope that you have a great day for your Tuesday. Love you girls.
Yesterday's Food
weetbix, skim milk, xylitol
banana peanut protein smoothie
2 CAMP muesli bars
macaroni cheese and peas
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Saturday Apr 09, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. Henry Ellis
Today I am grateful for: my Saviour, the promises He has made to me, living with a hopeful heart
Hello Lovely Girls, We have a saying in Australia, beautiful one day, perfect the next. Now this is suppose to refer to the summer but I prefer to use it for the weather this time of year and yes yesterday was beautiful and today looks perfect. Today's quote really touched my heart and I thought that it really summed up my life for the past ten years. Although I haven't mastered the letting go part and don't feel that I want to let go of such a great love. I think that I do the mingling of the holding on and the letting go, how could one go on living if one didn't let go a little so that you could get one with what was left of one's life. I think I will have to write that one down in my little quote book.
It is so quite in the house and the only sound outside are the birds calling to each other. There was a bit of a party the other side of our block last night, playing old R & B, so that was fine and anyway it was all quiet by 11pm so I presume there were children in the house. It is a very family orientated suburb, so in the main it is pretty quiet. I was just grateful that they weren't playing hip hop or anything slightly resembling it!!!!! Anyway to you weekend girls, I hope that you are enjoying your Saturday night and that you have a wonderful Sunday, manage to get some rest and spend it with people you love. Love you girls:)
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
moogy - Friday Apr 08, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7
DETERMINATION IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOALS AND SUCCESS
I WILL BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Groucho Marx
Today I am grateful for: my lovely warm bed, a quiet house, being able to do whatever I want
Hello Lovely Girls, The sun is shining gently, the birds are singing, I just left my warm bed and am now sitting in a winter nightie with my slippers on and seriously thinking about breaking out my throw over electric blanket. I already have my electric blanket on my bed and find that I need to keep it on low all through the night (but I think that might be an age thing - whatever, its lovely!), it is quite chilly. I am loving it!! The house is very quiet all the children are with their dad until Monday night, he is taking them up to his parents up the coast because it is their Grandma's birthday. So bliss has once again descended. He very kindly offered to keep them on Monday because of my EEG. I have been practicing staying up late this week and actually managed to make it to 11.45pm last night, which for me is like partying until 4am in the morning. Problem was I didn't wake up until 8.30am. I can see that this is going to be a tricky little proposition stay up until 1am and get up at 5am, Ummmmm!!! I don't drink coffee and am not allowed to have any chocolate in the morning either, it said so on the instruction sheet (they obviously know women well!!!). Now that I am depriving myself of sleep, well, not really, but going to bed way past my bedtime, I am thinking that even if I get up at 6am, I will still managed to get to sleep at 9am (the time the test is scheduled) I mean I am usually slightly somnambulant anyway due to the Dysthymia. I will be glad to get it out of the way.
I am sorry that I didn't get to your diaries yesterday and will attempt to get to my regular team today. I am feeling less dizzy, mind you I have only walked from the bedroom to the lounge!! LOL It is Saturday morning here is Sydney so Friday night where you are. Have a good evening and a great weekend. Love you girls.
Progress as of today - 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!
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Sounds like you're gearing up for a nice day!! The weather sounds amazing! :)
Mealplan sounds great, especially dinner. Enjoy!!
V on 04/26/2011:
If there is anyone in the world I would go through the Zombie Apocalypse with, it would be YOU :) You can supply the food and I shall supply the muscle behind conquering them!!! Of course with your skills in weapons, there is no way we would get defeated!!! LOL Hurrah!! Lub You
V on 04/26/2011:
LOL!!! Moogy you crack me up!! LOL where were you for yestedays post?? I so wanted to bash that guy's head in for making that girl cry like that...I haven't been that mad in a looooong time!!!
getmebackto150 on 04/26/2011:
sounds like a good day for you!!! Thanks for your comment! I would DEFINITELY look ingo EVERY aspect of IVF before going through with it... Not sure if I would even decide to do it in the end... I just feel much better knowing if it comes down to it and we cannot have a baby naturally, hubby and I will be on the same page making the decision process!!! Good luck with your healthy day!!
thinkpositive on 04/26/2011:
Good ideas for me- stocking my pantry and planning meals. Have a good day!
biscottibody59 on 04/26/2011:
Have a great afternoon!
YellowDress on 04/27/2011:
Great menu!Your comment made me suspicious,i'll check;)
YellowDress on 04/27/2011:
One of my aunt also lives in Australia,goodnight to you:)
thisisit on 04/27/2011:
Actually, I work on salary (because attorneys have to often pull long hours, no one wants to pay us) so I won't be getting an extra dime for those extra 7 hours I pulled yesterday. :(
Supercheese on 04/27/2011:
:) thanks moogy :) have a great day today!!
h82bfat on 04/27/2011:
Thanks for checking in yesterday! I've often wondered why the price of pedometers are either super cheap or NOT cheap.... I say - where's the middle ground!! ;c) Someone did suggest mapmyrun.com so I'm gonna give that a try. Hope you have a great day!
Umpqua on 04/27/2011:
Your menu looks great, and it's nice to see you round these parts again :)
Hackersdiet on 04/27/2011:
Thanks for the support. I appreciate it. Your menu looks really good. I had cottage cheese and a banana for lunch. But I love cottage cheese. Your menu looks delicious.