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moogy - Thursday Mar 24, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7



Encourage your people to be committed to a project rather than just involved in it. You know the difference between involvement and commitment don't you? In a meal of bacon and eggs, the chicken is involved, the pig is committed.               Richard Pratt - Australian billionaire

Today I am grateful for: a good night's sleep, loving grandchildren, peace and safety

Hello Wonderful Women, Forecast 79 degrees. I like the quote for today, I feel a similar way with my eating nowadays, I am committed not just temporarily involved. Previously when I went on a diet I knew that I would be coming off the diet, that sooner or later I would give up, cave in or fall of the wagon. I may still occasionally fall off the wagon now but I very quickly get back up and run after it and clamber back up, where as previously I would have just sat in the dirt for days or weeks until starting over again. I am committed to my new way of eating healthily, that is not to say I won't have days off or eat things that are not good for me. What I want is to eat like a normal healthy person. I am working on a principle of, if I eat healthily the majority of the time then the weight will naturally come off me. I can't tell you how liberating it is not to have to count calories and just eat when I am hungry. I am still eating food that is in my cupboards and fridge at the moment but I do believe we are going shopping tomorrow and I plan on stocking up on some more wholefoods - yes, I think that is the right word for what I will be eating, wholegrains, life sustaining foods, more vegies of course.

I had a good but strange eating day yesterday. I got a bit busy in the morning, my daughter came up for a chat and then the angel, I had to do some household maintenance and before I knew it it was lunchtime. As a result I was really hungry and had lunch as my first meal and ended up having lunch for dinner and breakfast for a snack. Anyway I got through another day feeling good about my eating and that is the name of the game at the moment.

I went downstairs last night to see if we were going anywhere today and as I walked into the kitchen the angel (2 1/2) ran up to me and said in her so cute voice "my nanna, I lub you" and ran into my arms, now I ask you how could someone not be happy with a unsolicited welcome like that, and then the second big boy (10) who is now as tall as me comes out and joins in the cuddle and tells me he loves me. I cannot explain the special joy that fills your heart when grandchildren are so loving and generous in their demonstrations of affection. I am a lucky nanna.  I hope that you have a wonderful day and that you feel joy at sometime during the day. Love you girls!!

Yesterday's Food

steak and kidney pie, peas

toasted ham and tomato sandwich

hot chocolate, 2 WW ginger kiss bars

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 03/24/2011:
Aww, your grandchildren are so sweet! I love your quote and I know how important it is to be committed to a healthy lifestyle in a sustainable way that can be kept up every day. It's not easy. And yes, I hope next month will be a celebration month and hopefully I'll have some time to get used to staying in this weight range before I go away on my trip and eat all that good food haha. Have a good day!

loveray on 03/24/2011:
sounds so cute!! im glad that you are getting some good lovin from those sweet grandkids. you deserve it!! xoxo

biscottibody59 on 03/24/2011:
Looks like you're doing what the book I often recommend says, just like it was second nature to you.

Glad you get such joy out of your grandkids:-)

shadetree on 03/24/2011:
I'm stealing this quote and putting it on my bulletin board in my office! As for the grandchildren, every once in a while I'll come home from work, and the younger one will be waiting for me - "KZ I missed you so much today! I'm so glad you're home!" Really is a wonderful feeling!

biscottibody59 on 03/24/2011:
Oh, goody--the book--it just seems like common sense, but I guess I missed those particular lessons and so it was a revelation when I first read it.

Having said that I need a "refresher read" of it myself

starfish on 03/24/2011:
Great post. I am trying to be easier on myself when I fall off the wagon too and hop back on instead of wallowing in self pity. Thank you for your comments :-)

V on 03/24/2011:
Hey Moogs!! You know it makes me estatic to hear that today you found some happiness AND clarity :) It truly warms this happy crackpot of a girl tremendously!!! :) Love you Moogy! Your kids are off the chars adorable and the can sense when you are in need of some LUB!! ;)

nemogirl on 03/24/2011:
Gosh, that is so special what your grandchildren said to you today. Thank you for sharing that. I felt something similar today. I took my girls (3 and 1) out to eat bagels for breakfast, but I brought my usual toast and ordered coffee there. On the way, 3 year old says, "bagels, I love bagels, and coffee!" "Coffee?", I say curiously. "I love for the mama to have coffee because it makes you happy," she replies.

liza36 on 03/25/2011:
How wonderful your grandchildren are!

I like the quote and your comments about it. I don't think I've thought in terms of involvement versus committment but it makes so much sense. One has to be truly committed to a healthier lifestyle to make it work for the long term. Good thoughts!

Supercheese on 03/25/2011:
Aw your grandkids sound so nice!! You're entries always have a way of putting a smile on my face. Have a fantastic weekend!

moogy - Wednesday Mar 23, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7



We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.  Ray Bradbury
Today I am grateful for: being a woman, our beautiful planet, being a grandmother
Hello Lovely Women, Forecast 81 degrees. It is a sunny but cool morning here in Sydney. The temperatures are going to be dropping this week and I really think that Autumn is just about here!! Whoo Hoo!! I had a good day yesterday, food wise, until about six o'clock when realised that I was still hungry. I had a look over what I had eaten and figured that I hadn't had enough to eat so had a couple of snacks. So that is something else to learn, I don't have calories to guide me so I have to make sure I have enough to keep me satiated until bedtime. Apart from that slight bump I am feeling pretty good about being in control of myself and soooo relieved not to be counting calories. I have been looking up healthy food recipes, not that what I eat isn't healthy, but, recipes that contain really good for you ingredients, high nutritional value stuff and such like. I am working on the principle that if I eat food that contains lots of 'goodness' it should sustain me and nourish me and fill me up, my three must haves for a sustainable diet. Anyway I am feeling excited to try new things after I have been shopping (I have to wait for my daughter to go because I can't drive!! so frustrating!!).
I have my usual routine today (apart from I am sitting here with a hair colour developing on my head - too many greys not to now!), I will be baking for the big boys and the princess and the angel will be visiting, then afternoon tea and bathing the little girls. The big boys and I are on countdown for Wrestlemania and getting very excited. It is a big highlight of the year for the boys and I, a four hour extravaganza with lots of yelling and yahooing!! We love it!! Twelve days to go!! OK, that is it for this morning, I am off to have a beautifying session and will come back and read diaries when I am stunning!!! Love you girls:)
Yesterday's Food
weetbix, skim milk, xylitol
soy and linseed toast, marg, baked beans
choc chip muffin
basa fillet, honeyed carrots, peas
WW ginger kiss bars x2
mini tortilla wrap, 1T peanut butter, banana


Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

loveray on 03/23/2011:
sounds like a great day!! and by the way, im sure you are stunning even with the grays! xo

Umpqua on 03/23/2011:
Your plan sounds good and your foods look great! I'm working on a similar homemade cookie ball recipe with bananas and dates. I'm going to try it tomorrow (hopefully) and I will post it if it works out. Stay tuned! :)

hopingforhealth on 03/23/2011:
I think it sounds like you're doing great! I don't count calories, and while I am doing poorly with willpower later, all the wait I lost originally was by just shooting for super healthy meals. I know you can do it!

What color is your hair?

V on 03/23/2011:
What's up red??? I am sure your hair will look FAB!! Hey did you hear about Liz Taylor passing :( She was an awesome actress, I loved her in 'Little Women" "Cat on a hot tin roof" and the title of the other movie I really liked has escaped me, but Robert Montgomery and Shelly Winters co starred....Happy hunting on the new recipes, it is always fun to discover healthy treats!!! Oh BTW your theory on Jim just might be true...I never even thought about the whole gay angle....LOl when is wrestlemanina?? I am sure if you man is in it you will be glued to the TV...LOl Love you Moogy

V on 03/23/2011:
Hell Yes I am a crackpot!! LOL Just a very happy one :) I really can't complain about my life, the only thing that would make it perfect is living close to you, lots more money to feed my coffee and fashion obsession.....Merrily Merrily merrily life is but a dream ;)

V on 03/23/2011:
LOL!! Now I am going to agree with your grand son!! Not only are you the coolest, you are also the youngest one I know!! I bet you guys have loads of fun together!!

V on 03/23/2011:
Hey I think Marlon Brando was hott back in the day as well...prrrrrr

chidogs on 03/23/2011:
I am so glad to hear you so upbeat! Your day sounds great and lots of fun. I'm sure the grand kids keep you thinking and acting young. Which in turn will make you feel young! Good for you. It is so cool that you have something to look forward to so excitedly with your grandson. You are definately a cool grandma. I didn't post, too upset still. We evicted the tenant, and had to refund the month and out of our pocket the realtors security deposit. Anything to get rid of her. Now, we have 6 sets of custom drapes missing. I emailed the realtor and said find them or I call the cops on her now. *sigh* I'm so tired.

lifestylechange on 03/23/2011:
YAY to good days:) Love you :)

lifestylechange on 03/23/2011:
....and yes, grandparents are amazing...your grandbabies are very lucky to have you:)

V on 03/23/2011:
Hey i was reading your post on Umpqua's diary, I am sorry I didn't think you liked nuts becasue i never see them in your menu....Cookie balls will be sent to you ASAP!! :) They stay fresh for weeks so shipping won't be a problem :)

selina on 03/24/2011:
Have a great day, Moogy! By now, you must be looking stunning! Nothing like a bottle of hair-color...

moogy - Tuesday Mar 22, 2011
(staying in control of my eating behaviour)
Weight: 232.7



Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.         - Abraham Lincoln

Today I am grateful for: new ways of doing things, my grandchildren, feeling positive

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 84 degrees. looks like a couple more hot days and then it will start to cool down. At last!! It is 5.30 am as I begin to type this entry. I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. It is still pitch black outside, daylight savings ends this weekend and we go back to 'real' time. I was having a think yesterday, and you know I often do, about all the things I had been working on before I got to sick to care and was thinking about how to include them in my daily life. This was initiated by the article in the forum called Never Having To Say Goodbye and some really good information about emotional eating, also on the forum (thanks to biscotti and sweetpea). I happened to read these articles when I was searching for a solution to my emotional eating episodes. After some practice, research, refining and general settling in of ideas I came to a decision. I changed my emotional eating heading a little while ago and haven't really had 'an episode' since - so that just may be working. (I am always prepared if it doesn't!).  I also wanted to feel more in control of myself, and strangely that for me meant not counting calories but trusting in myself. Knowing that I can eat what I want whenever I want it, giving myself permission to be in charge of myself, rather than the calorie count. One of my goals is to not count and I think I am ready to give it a try. Over the past few months I have been challenging myself to stay in control of my eating behaviour, to figure out what makes me tick and to find alternatives to eating in times of emotional stress.

I just felt that I needed to do something at the moment while I am under stress to feel more in control and also to see if I can trust myself. I may fall flat on my face here but this is the direction I want to move in so even if I do stumble I will continue to give this way of eating a good try. Yesterday I gave myself to eat whatever I wanted and felt as if a load had been lifted off my shoulder. I looked up lots of different (mainly desserts) foods I could make (all the healthy versions!) but ended up deciding that I didn't really want them after all. Anyway, I feel the need to do something to move forward and this is the path I have chosen and I am feeling good about it.

Thank you all for your good wishes, prayers and general support, it is a bit of a difficult time. I can't stand sick people, hate going to the doctor's and am trying to ignore what ever is wrong with me as much as I can until I get a diagnosis. I appreciate all your good will and that you come to my diary and read my ramblings. I love you girls!

Yesterday's Food

mini tortilla wrap, 1T peanut butter, banana x2

sate chicken, broccoli and bok choy, jasmine rice

60g dark chocolate

soy and linseed toast, marg, lime marmalade

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

getmebackto150 on 03/22/2011:
I think that you have chosen a great path... I can imagine that giving yourself "permission" is SO very liberating and calming for the soul... Glad to hear that you are getting almost out of your hot weather!!

Umpqua on 03/22/2011:
Foods look great! I really aim to get to the point where I don't have to count too. For me, counting and listing is more of a way for me to stay accountable right now. But I don't want to have to do it forever, so at some point I'm going to have to come up with some sort of other system to keep me on autopilot. I hope you have a great day and some consistently cool weather soon!

lolla on 03/22/2011:
I am struggling with my eating behavior too. I have been observing myself and trying to be very understanding with myself since I know I started using food as comfort when I was a teenager. I have a "talk" with myself when I feel the urge to binge and I tell myself it is ok to have these moments and then I try to have a fruit and I distract myself until my next meal. I can tell it is all on my mind, this belief that eating will make me feel better somehow. I am finally going to see a phsycologist where I hope to get some tools to deal with this issue. I will let you know what I find out! Goood luck in your journey!

lifestylechange on 03/22/2011:
Thanks so much for your sweet comment:)

I hope you have a great day Moogs!

lolla on 03/22/2011:
I am struggling with my eating behavior too. I have been observing myself and trying to be very understanding with myself since I know I started using food as comfort when I was a teenager. I have a "talk" with myself when I feel the urge to binge and I tell myself it is ok to have these moments and then I try to have a fruit and I distract myself until my next meal. I can tell it is all on my mind, this belief that eating will make me feel better somehow. I am finally going to see a phsycologist where I hope to get some tools to deal with this issue. I will let you know what I find out! Goood luck in your journey!

chidogs on 03/22/2011:
Hi Moogy. You do have some amazingly intelligent ponderings. I always learn from your posts. I don't have the strength yet to give my self permission like that, as I would take advantage of that permission and do major damage. I hope to get there someday. It sounds like you have reached it and I am glad for you. I hate doctors too, so I understand. But sometimes you just gotta go. Sending positive thoughts your way and lotsa hugs.

shadetree on 03/22/2011:
Re:kids continually growing - I am lucky that my son is not one of these 'gotta have name brand' type kids - when he decides he needs clothes the first thing out of his mouth "Let's go to Goodwill!" But shoes have to fit properly so I don't mind spending a little more on those. (We could only find him dress shoes yesterday, but they were on clearance for $30, so I'm not complaining. Still looking for workboots "Mom, you are NOT spending that much on boots! I'll wait!" I've raised a tightwad! Woohoo! Ooops - sorry V!)

hopingforhealth on 03/22/2011:
That is a really good menu! I hope that not counting will give you a feeling a release. This is a very thoughtful post and it's inspirational to read :)

loveray on 03/22/2011:
listening to your body!! what a revolutionary idea:) i wish every woman could have the wisdom that you have found. i bet you will have all you wanted and more if you just listen. lots of love!

Veeve on 03/22/2011:
I really like your Lincoln quote. I have made a commitment to myself and sometimes I think its hard for my friends to understand that I am going to stick to it. Gotta do what you gotta do. Have a good day, you can send some of that warm weather to Ohio Please! :)

V on 03/22/2011:
Just gettin home but i wanted to say that I love you Moogy and i promise to set aside some time for you tomorrow! :) I hope you stay in good spirits til then!!

liza36 on 03/23/2011:
I love this post, and love that you are figuring out what is right for you. Listening to yourself and your body signals is so important, and somehow we tend to have this disconnect between our mind and body. But getting in touch with that is brillant.

I have also found for me that if I give myself permission to eat certain foods, they no longer have a strong hold on me. I can eat it whenever I want, in moderation of course, and so then when around it, I can take it or leave it. I think that's in part what's happening to you, and it is a great step forward.

nemogirl on 03/23/2011:
Thanks for your post. I really appreciate it.

biscottibody59 on 03/23/2011:
Glad you made it back for an entry:-) I think your progress is very inspiring and moving--we are our worst enemies, but also our best friends from time to time!

Hang in there--I hope you get answers to your health stuff soon!

nita51 on 03/23/2011:
Have a great Wednesday! :)

moogy - Monday Mar 21, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7



When you become detached mentally from yourself and concentrate on helping other people with their difficulties, you will be able to cope with your own more effectively. Somehow, the act of self-giving is a personal power-releasing factor.        - Norman Vincent Peale

Today I am grateful for: an overcast sky, feeling up do doing an entry, living with hope

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 88 degrees, and still summer clings with her claw like hands. I am sorry that I haven't written an entry for several days. I really haven't been feeling very well. Lots of brain 'distrubances', sometimes just dizziness sometimes feeling like an ocean wave is passing through my head or my eyes seems to develop ideas of their own. All a bit scary. I go to the neurologists on Monday, so we will start the process of getting a diagnosis, hopefully! Nothing much happening on any other fronts, I am just doing all my usual stuff, plus a lot of lying down and some extra napping (I seem to be really tired as well! - but that could just be a anxiety response!). On the diet front some good some bad. I really don't have my heart in it at the moment. I am off to read some diaries, if I don't get to you today please forgive me. I will try again tomorrow. Love you girls.

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 03/21/2011:
Hang in there Moogy, I hope you can get some resolution once you go to the neurologist. I'm thinking of you and please take care!

chidogs on 03/21/2011:
I am glad to hear from you. Please keep us informed, even if it is just to say a quick hi. Best of luck with the doctor. Hugs.

hopingforhealth on 03/21/2011:
Hey girl. I am hoping that the nuerologist went well and am very sorry that you were MIA because you were still having health issues. :( Take good care of yourself and I am going to keep you in my prayers. I'm glad you are checking in with us anyway, even just so we know how you are doing!

chidogs on 03/21/2011:
Aw, I prefer "veggie monitor" it has a kinder ring to it! :),and I missed the gentle reminders. I've had the stress munchies the past couple of days. Stomach is in knots, then I eat two bowls of rice. Go figure. *sigh.* You take care of yourself as best you can. Naps are good. Whatever works for you. Sending you my prayers and even more hugs.

lifestylechange on 03/21/2011:
Hang in there.... :) You are definitely in my thoughts and I miss you:) Take the time to take care of you, we'll all be here waiting;)

loveray on 03/21/2011:
glad you are back. please take good care and we are always thinking about you!! xo

V on 03/21/2011:
Waiter's number still intact.And I have one here right now snuggling as we speak..NOT even kidding

V on 03/21/2011:
He said he is not molesting me, just being friendly

waydesmommy on 03/22/2011:
I hope the neurologist will be able to help you and I really hope that you start to feel better soon. Take care!

liza36 on 03/22/2011:
I hope you can get some answers after seeing the doctor. In the meantime, I hope you take care of yourself, don't over do it. XOXO

KathyBlue on 03/22/2011:
ahh moogy, I hope you get better soon. I fully understand what you're going through right now. Dizziness, blagh... doctors... :/

legcramps on 03/22/2011:
Hope you feel better soon, moogy :)

moogy - Wednesday Mar 16, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7



I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.      Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Today I am grateful for: sweet dreams, being free of pain, little girls laughing

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 77 degrees. I have changed my emotional eating heading to reflect the small progress I am making is solving this issue, which after all is the basis of my difficulty. With the help of many of you I feel that I have learned some things that will be of great use to me when one of those desperate moments hits. So now I have several possible solutions to test out and as I frequently have emotional eating episodes, I am now expecting them. I figure if I expect to be surprised by the sudden onset of 'I have to eat the world' I am less likely to be surprised!!!! Anyway, it worked last night, I actually waited for the episode and it didn't happen. I definitely think I am on to something here!! I am continuing to investigate, I have several options to try out and am ready to battle myself at the drop of a hat!!

It is a wonderfully cool morning, I am sitting right next to an open window and it is quite chilly, wonderful!! My husband just arrived to have breakfast with the children, it is always bitter sweet to hear his voice. It would be too painful to actually go down and see him, so I anxiously await his departure so I can breath again!! Anyway, I have nothing different planned for today, just my same itinerary of little jobs that need to be done and that make my daughter's and my life easier and more joyful. Well, apart from the cleaning, I don't know anyone who actually gets joy from cleaning, maybe sweetpea!!!!! LOL  Have a wonderful day girls, be kind to yourselves, I love you!!:)

Yesterday's Food

hot chocolate, pumpkin pie shake    279

sate chicken and vegetables, 1/2 cup rice   407

hot chocolate, ginger kiss bar    171

toasted ham and tomato sandwich  241

50g dark chocolate    255

           total    1333

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

chidogs on 03/16/2011:
Hi Moogy. I'm glad you sound up and cheerful for the most part today. It is a shame that you still have pain from the visits of your ex. I like your concept of attacking the emotion before it attacks you. Good idea that! And I am hoping all that walking with a sensible diet will defeat the repeated 5 pound gain/loss rythme too! Take care and Hugs!

Umpqua on 03/16/2011:
Haha, funny, cleaning makes me angry! I can be in the best, most cheerful mood, and when I start cleaning my whole body goes RAH and I'm mad at the world. It's always best if I clean alone, but I'm learning to contain my anger and have the boys help me out with tasks. Putting on some loud heavy music helps too :)

I'm glad you are working through the whole emotional eating process and I'm also glad you're getting some cooler weather there. It means spring will be on its way here soon!

Umpqua on 03/16/2011:
Well it is sort of virtual since I do it with the XBOX Kinect. It's pretty intense cardio though, definitely sweaty. I think the cleaning thing is a Mommy issue, mine is an absolute Type A Italian-American neat freak and I was not allowed to have a messy room, ever. So I have some sort of anger issues tied to cleaning, but Tool and System of a Down help me work through that LOL :)

Runforfun on 03/16/2011:
You'll have to tell me your method of not overeating! :/ I seem to want to binge at night before I go to bed on sweats! haha I like Umpqua's comment how cleaning makes her mad at the world. LOL.

jolt on 03/16/2011:
Keep up the excellent work. Emotional eating and over eating are never easy things to deal with it. Learn what your triggers are and have a plan in place for what to do to deal with. Sometimes you just have to give in.

Remember you are beautiful, amazing and worth it!

Huggles N Happy Dances


biscottibody59 on 03/16/2011:
That's some fine progress there--glad your effort at working through it all is getting you to feel better about things. Sometimes pushing at something every day (when it seems it will never move) pays off!

Thanks for sharing about your husband--can't be an easy thing!

Yeah, I get such joy from cleaning--I wish. By the time I make any real progress it all has to be done again I'm afraid:-)

Oh and on your comment about weigh-ins, I NEVER weigh-in unless I've had my morning "saving grace" haha!

Runforfun on 03/16/2011:
Yes, that's true.. I guess I didn't realize there was a difference. I've never had that feeling.. I hope you overcome this! Love you!

chidogs on 03/16/2011:
Aw, sorry Moogy, I didn't understand that. Now I really feel for you. Hugs again.

hopingforhealth on 03/16/2011:
Way to go last night! That's very impressive. I will be super impressed if you make it through today avoiding it too. It sounds like a rough day with your husband coming by.

Thanks for the encouragement last night... and always!

lifestylechange on 03/16/2011:
I'm glad you were able to enjoy some fresh air... :) I'm so sorry to hear about this discomfort with your husband (I'm not sure the history there) but I'm sure it's quite painful and difficult. You are in my thoughts.... Hugs

Maria7 on 03/16/2011:
Well, hugs to you, too, Friend. Thanks for checking on me. It means a lot to know that you have friends who care and come by and check on you when you are away (which I haven't really been away since I come by here at DD's off and on but just haven't been doing any entries lately cause been real busy). Your menu looks fantastic...we girls DO LOVE OUR CHOCOLATE, don't we? (hehehe!) Luv ya! :-D

V on 03/17/2011:
Hi Moogy!! I am off to bed but I left details of your date, seeing as though you live vicariously through me!!! I missed our chat today but I will be home at the usual time tomorrow so good night! I love you!!

nita51 on 03/17/2011:
Hey Lady, Seems like you are on to something, regarding your emotional eating episodes. Awareness is the first step to overcoming our issues with food. I appreciate hearing from you, the other day. Yes, it is very good news that Devine is out of immediate danger. Sometimes a close call is enough to scare a person straight. So now, he's being REAL GOOD and working with me. We both are committed to a healthier lifestyle. Love Ya and keep taking good care of yourself.

selina on 03/17/2011:
I hate cleaning, when I do, my daughter asks me if we are having company - normaly my answer is "yes". Glady for her, we have enough visitors so that the house is cleaned on a regular basis. Which is a necessity when one has 2 black cats! Stay well Moogy, and do be kind to yourself!

liza36 on 03/17/2011:
You really are making fine progress. I'm so impressed with the hard work you are doing. It takes courage to face these things head on. Have a wonderful day!

legcramps on 03/17/2011:
Sounds like you're really delving into those issues with eating, good for you! As long as you continue to look after yourself both physically and emotionally, I think you'll be on the right track to a better you. Enjoy your day today moogy!

KathyBlue on 03/17/2011:
I don't know about MRI, because the exam's results will be given to me at the end of this month. I have an appt. for 30 March, so I will know more by then! :) In the meantime I'm going to visit an alternative medic, who can see the problems one has throughout the eyes. Helped big time to MIL, wonder if she can help me, too. I hate this vicious circle I got into!

sweetpea1977 on 03/17/2011:
hahaha, I hate cleaning. However, it seems like the house gets messy before I even get finished. And laundry...well, its a never ending chore in this house. Its only going to get worse as the boys get older!

Anyway, I hope everything is ok. Give us an update whenever you can. Love you!

V on 03/17/2011:
Moogy??? Where are you??? I hope you are okay?? Love YOU!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/18/2011:
hey there, thanks for your concern about my binge the other night. it was a messy morning of heavy rain and bad driving conditions. i was late to work. i had lost my phone the night before, then found it in the AM, then lost it again in the AM and i still haven't found it! just a cruddy day. i was exhausted at the gym, and probably overexerted....coming home and deciding to binge. that was my day and what caused the binge, i think!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/18/2011:
you and your husband are taking a break? ...after reading what your wrote, i want to suggest that you do see him....you shouldn't have to hide or hold off your feelings/emotions until he leaves. be open with yourself and be confident. don't like his presense make you run away. i don't like hearing that you felt that way....don't run from anything....prove that you are wo-MAN enough to deal with him!

loveray on 03/19/2011:
just wanted to tell you i love you and happy weekend. hope you are hanging in there!!

chidogs on 03/19/2011:
Moogy, hope you are all right! Miss you. Sending hugs.

getmebackto150 on 03/21/2011:
hope you are well! I added a comment to the fuscilli and peanut sauce recipe with the servings and calories... Let me know if you have any questions!

moogy - Tuesday Mar 15, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7



The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.       - Winston Churchill

Today I am grateful for: the will to continue to improve myself, learning and growing in understanding, hope

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 82 degrees, but it is only getting hot for a few hours in the afternoon now. Yay! Cool nights and mornings, for which I am extremely grateful. I was sitting with my feelings last night, trying to figure out why I wanted to eat even though I wasn't hungry. I could feel my heart beating fast, my breathing was quick and I could feel this slow rising panic. (I must say this is getting to be great fun - not!!!!). Obviously some sort of anxiety going on, and then of course, I realised that although intellectually I am doing OK with the whole grand mal seizure thing, emotionally I am a bit of a mess and this combined with all the other stuff (dopey men!!) going on round here it is no wonder I am struggling to find some sort of balance, in my feelings and eating behaviour.

There seems no end or solution to the difficulties I have had to deal with in my life so I expect them to continue. This is my lot in life, many people have things a lot worse. I never seem to find an end to my grief, I have an inexhaustible flow of tears. They stop when I am exhausted myself, only to recommence the next time I allow them to flow. I am like a little girl with her finger in the dike holding back the water. Don't get me wrong I have wonderful things in my life that balance out the pain, I think that is part of the deal, I have my daughter and my grandchildren, my religion and my relationship with my Saviour. Unfortunately, this search I am on for a solution to my emotional eating is not coming up with a single source (thanks for the info in the forum sweetpea, it was great). Last night's experiment came from the instruction to STOP, hence the physical reaction to the impulse. Interesting certainly, improved understanding, definitely! I should point out that even with all this understanding, I still had to eat, so it was cereal again. It seemed the most filling and least damaging food to make me feel better and what is always intriguing to me is that it always works. I always feel better, relieved, less panicky. The solution works. So my next question for myself is. If I know what is upsetting me, the cause, and no amount of crying, laughing or deep breathing, fixes it but food does, should I except the solution and choose carefully the food I use to medicate myself? That's what I am going to be working on for the next short while, while I am going to be continuing to struggle with my emotions until I get a solution to my medical situation, I might as well use the time for further detecting.

Anyway, the upshot of this is that my calories are higher than I would like, but lower than they could be if I wasn't using my brain to try and understand myself and my reactions. Today I will be doing my usual round of cleaning, baking, playing with the angel, bathing the little girls (I am now allowed to do this again, now I am feeling better!), afternoon tea with the big boys and the princess. I hope that you all have a wonderful day and thank you for visiting my diary and being my team. Your kindnesses, good ideas, support and encouragement have bought me a long way. I love you girls:)

Yesterday's Food

porridge     302

sate chicken and vegetables, 1/2 cup rice   407

sate chicken and vegetables, 1/2 cup rice 407 (so delicious, I had it twice!!)

50g dark chocolate    255

4 weetbix, 1 cup milk, 1T xylitol    325

             total    1696 

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

V on 03/15/2011:
Man Moogy, you are really having a tough go at it! I am glad you were able to stop before doing too much damage...Please take care, I will talk to you later...Love you :)

Umpqua on 03/15/2011:
I'm sorry things have been so rough for you, but I do think you made a good choice with the cereal. I'm sure you will enjoy your afternoon and then you get to bathe the girls tonight (it's hubby's turn to bathe my boys tonight but we always end up trading off to get the job done). Have a good one!

chidogs on 03/15/2011:
I feel bad for you that you seem to be under so much stress. Clearly any of us would if we had to deal with that health issue. It's not something you just ignore. Your choice of cereal is not bad at all. There are a lot of worse choices! Take care and sending hugs.

sweetpea1977 on 03/15/2011:
You are welcome!

I agree, cereal is a good choice for comfort food if one is needed. There are much worse choices you could have made!

Sending you lots of hugs moogy. Love you!

hopingforhealth on 03/15/2011:
I'm sorry that you are struggling. It's hard to deal with emotional eating and you have a lot of triggers right now. All I can say is that we care about you and are rooting for you here. There is a saying, which is cheesy, but I really try to remember it myself when I am struggling, but its "it will all be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it's not the end." I really believe it. It doesn't feel that way, but things will get better. We can't always predict how, but I am sure it will eventually.

It's so true, what you said on my entry yesterday. Confidence is key! I see that on other girls, but I am not always good at being confident. I wish I could do better with it. I'm working on it, but goodness knows the occasional shopping trip hurts it. :)

hopingforhealth on 03/15/2011:
Well, I'm definitely not planning on it! I just wanted to explain why I'm posting even when I have nothing much to say and am not especially doing amazing. I'd miss you too!

loveray on 03/15/2011:
sending so much love and light your way!! i know that when i have emotional stuff going on its far easier to dam up the waterworks with some food- but eventually it catches up with me. for now, i think its great that you are honoring your needs to eat but in moderation. that is a key first step. perhaps one day it will turn into a new routine of deep breaths or another alternate de-stressing ritual. i found the book "women, food and god" particularly helpful, especially in those panicky times. lots of love moogy!

waydesmommy on 03/16/2011:
Hi! I am so glad that you are feeling better! I was going to suggest that if you must eat when you need comfort then choose healthy foods, but I see you figured that one out for yourself. There are some things we can't change about ourselves, no matter how hard we try, but we can make them better in some ways. Take care and have a great day!

selina on 03/16/2011:
I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling emotionally and eating as a result. I believe that it's ok to do that (anything to help you feel better, cereal sounds just right) and after that, be kind to yourself. Do not beat yourself up for what's done. You can always do better tomorrow. Hugs and warm thoughts your way...

liza36 on 03/16/2011:
I really commend you for writing out your emotional battle with eating. You are also doing a great job at sitting with your feelings, and trying to figure out causes and solutions. Back in 2009, for a few months I saw a nutritional counselor, mainly a counselor who worked with people with eating struggles. We spent alot of time with "awareness", noticing things, the how and why. I was getting frustrated because it seemed like I wasn't getting anywhere. I wanted a "fix" to my emotional eating. The counselor said that one usually spends the most time in being aware of triggers, behavior, finding relationships between how you feel and what you do. Finding a "fix" would come, but to be patient. My point is, patience my dear. You are on the right track.

I also have read about half of the book "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth, and have found it very helpful. I need to carve out some time to finish it, but she has some valuable things to say.

Sending love and hugs your way.

moogy - Monday Mar 14, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7



Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. Samuel Johnson

Today I am grateful for: thinking that summer is over (really!), watching children's shows with the angel, being loved.

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 78 degrees. I have checked the forecast for the next two weeks and it looks like the weather is going to be sitting around 75 -80 for the foreseeable future with plenty of rain. I can cope with that, cooler weather will follow. Yay! I didn't get to sleep until 1.30am this morning, even with my drugs there was no way I could drop off to sleep. I ended up taking another sleeping tablet and that did the trick. The angel came up this morning and helped me with my bath. She passed shampoo, conditioner, soap and gave me a running commentary on witch bits I should do next, things that I had that she didn't and things that I had that were the same, so funny! She is now 2 1/2 and is resisting all efforts to get her out of nappies (diapers) she panics when she goes to pee and just holds the big stuff in. She is refusing to to any big stuff at pre-school. She has to find somewhere private to concentrate on her business at home (Usually behind a door) Just like her biggest brother, funny children. You don't see children in pull ups at school so I figure she will work it out when she is ready, with a fourth child you tend to be a little more relaxed about the whole thing, so my daughter is just leaving it up to her. As long as I don't have to change her, I don't really care!!

I am feeling a little better at the moment, my brain seems to be working properly again. Thoughts are easier, things are clearer although I am still getting the dizzy spells. I have a little cleaning, a little cooking and a little angel watching today plus afternoon tea with the big boys and the princess. Things are returning to normal. I am grateful for that. Thank you for your comments are understanding, biscotti was saying yesterday that I was very evolved into my insight into my thinking about food. That got me thinking and then legcramps said that I was making breakthroughs into gaining a huge amount of knowledge in my quest to a healthier me. I seem to have been messing around with the same six pounds for months, taking it off and putting it back on. Strangely it hasn't bothered me as much as it would normally, although I would like it to go on a permanent basis. Maybe it is because I am learning about the why, what and when of my eating disorder and so feel as if I am getting somewhere even if I am not losing much weight. It was weigh in day today, and it was ugly, I am not posting the new higher weight in the hope I can shift this recent reversal by next week (dubious!) of course, I was very sick last week. I always seem to have a valid excuse for eating, more like a real reason. I suppose I have also learned to be gentle with myself and not judge too harshly. I have also worked out over the years that eating is my coping mechanism for lots of bad stuff that has happened to me. Using food to help is one of the least damaging coping mechanisms people use, the problem is when they don't try and look at why they are eating. I know the who, what and why of my eating but stopping doing it is a different animal altogether. Finding something that makes me feel good when I feel so bad is a big ask, having delved into the depths of my stuff through group work, with psychiatrists, psychologists. I know what is wrong with me and all people can do when they are damaged is work around the damage. I don't believe that I will ever get better physiologically and that I will battle with my eating disorder all my life. I do think that it has comparisons with people who take drugs or drink alcohol to cope with feelings, it is a daily battle and acceptance of this reality makes it easier to deal with. Well that is it for my ramble today. I hope you girls have a good day. Love you!

Yesterday's Food

mini tortilla wrap, 1T peanut butter, banana   271

lemon pepper basa fillet, honeyed carrots, 1/2 cup peas   275

chocolate brownie    188

sardines in tomato sauce on toast   450

hot chocolate, 4 weetbix, 1 cup skim milk   371

         total    1555

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 03/14/2011:
It sounds to me like you are on a journey of self discovery and that is always a good thing! I don't miss the diaper changes, I know that I am *very* lucky that younger son trained so fast and is trying to emulate big brother in every way. The dynamics with your grandchildren are different, so maybe she's just trying to hold onto some baby stuff for as long as she can. I know my little guy reverts to crawling and baby talk every once in a while just to make sure everyone knows he's still the baby (even though he will scream and yell that he's a big boy and wants to be on the "big kid side" at school LOL). My older son was resistant to the potty training at age 2 so I just let it go and by age 3 he was ready for it. They never go off to school in diapers!

loveray on 03/14/2011:
love you, hope today is a good one!! xo

sweetpea1977 on 03/14/2011:
Just read yesterday's and today's entries. I love the breakthroughs and self-discovering that you have been going through recently. It took years to build up the bad relationship to the food so naturally it will take lots of time to recognize them and break it off. I think as long as you are able to see these things in yourself, you are making progress. So, keep up the good work moogy! Love you too! :)

lifestylechange on 03/14/2011:
Thanks Moogy--I always appreciate your sweet comments....Hope the rest of your day goes well...Much love to you

hopingforhealth on 03/14/2011:
Hey Moogy! I love your quote from yesterday! I think that you are definitely on a journey and I think that you are definitely doing better with your food attitudes. Everyone slips up from time to time, but I think what matters is that you still did good and didn't let your slip up pull you down. That is awesome progress. :)

V on 03/14/2011:
Hey Moogsters!! I sm glad that you are feeling a wee bit better :) As far as the weight gain, just get better first and then worry about it!! BTW the date is tomorrow night...YES I will keep you updated :)

chidogs on 03/14/2011:
I'm glad you seem to be feeling better, even if not 100percent yet. And I really understand that 6 pounds over and over situation. The little one sounds like she has a real mind of her own. She will get there, just in her own time! You and your daughter are wise to recognize that. Take care and hugs.

shadetree on 03/15/2011:
Yay for temps in the 70's, and Yay for feeling better today! Hope you enjoyed your time with the angel!

waydesmommy on 03/15/2011:
I'm glad to hear your feeling better and that is a cute story about your grand baby. Kids are funny like that, but she'll do it in her own time. I have faith in you that the 6 lb struggle won't be a struggle for long. Like your grand baby, you will do it in your own time too. Take care and have a great day!

biscottibody59 on 03/15/2011:
Onward and upward!

legcramps on 03/15/2011:
You can't work at something for that long and not see progress from it. You've worked so hard on yourself so don't you think that you'll be able to progress physiologically as well?

I figure you're right there at the cusp - facing two different paths. What you choose now will affect where you'll be in the future. Break it down; examine your consequences. Find a way to make the better choice. Easier said than done, yes, but I know you can do this.

And when you do - let me know so that I can do it too ;)

nemogirl on 03/15/2011:
Well, you have given this a lot of thought, I guess we all try to, but you go further by articulating it so clearly in writing. For myself, I find that really wanting lose the weight is the key when I have all the other stuff figured out. E.g. I am going to see family i haven't seen in a year in about 4 weeks - that's motivation to keep this up. Also , I was fatter than I had ever been before, and that makes you feel more strongly even though now I am pretty close to goal weight. Previously, I think I was happy enough with myself not to try harder to not eat so much. Maybe you are happy with yourself and because you have so much else going on you are in a holding pattern. I mean, you do have a lot going on in your life right now. I think you are right not to be to judgmental right now. Is that me being judgmental , telling you that you are right? It's confusing when you think hard about it! LOL.

nemogirl on 03/15/2011:
P.S. - I LOVE WEETABIX! So yummy,and good for you!

moogy - Sunday Mar 13, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7



Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.       - Al Franken

Today I am grateful for: hanging onto the back of the wagon, grandchildren, being free of pain

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 81 degrees. Well, I was doing so well yesterday and thought I was finishing the day out in good form. Until I started watching a weight loss program where this group of women where talking about all the emotional stuff they had gone through as children. Which was find until I find myself eating my low fat vanilla ice cream (the one I keep for the children and my pumpkin pie shakes). It was almost a seamless movement from watching to eating I didn't even stop and think I just got the ice cream and started to plow through it. So much for finding an alternate solution to my emotional eating, I didn't even recognise the trigger. I was half way through before I stopped and thought that something on the tele had triggered me into emotional eating - and then of course, I recognised that those women where talking about the same stuff that had happened to me, but instead of talking and hugging and crying, my response was eat. I think that if I had just waited for 10 minutes my brain would have caught up with my feelings. So maybe I can use the incident to learn that - wait 10 minutes. So, so far I have learned to sit with my feelings, have a cry, wait 10 minutes, eat something healthy. I am not getting anywhere fast but I am still determined to find a solution and to reach my goal.

So I was happily sitting on the back of the wagon last night and now I am running alongside and hope to jump back on board today. I hope that you finish your weekend well and much better than I did!!!! Love you girls:)

Yesterday's Food

mini tortilla wrap, banana, 1T peanut butter   271

chicken sausage, mashed potato, carrots, 1/2 cup peas, gravy   365

lemon cheesecake       280

pumpkin pie shake   233

         total   1149 plus the vanilla ice cream?

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

loveray on 03/13/2011:
just the recognizing of the feelings and the action puts you back on the wagon already!! you dont give yourself enough credit, but you are amazing and doing so well!! xo

shadetree on 03/13/2011:
Better to be running alongside the wagon than to be run over by it! Emotional eating is definitely a tough one to overcome - especially since it's probably something that you've done pretty much your whole life. Recognizing the issue is a huge step in the right direction! And as long as you recognize it, and move forward instead of using it as an excuse to go back to old patterns, you're well on your way to complete success! Don't let it keep you down! Dust yourself off and climb back onto the wagon!

biscottibody59 on 03/13/2011:
I think that's an important connection you made. Good for the confidence perhaps? You're very evolved in your insight into your feelings.

Keep going!

ps Not the same thing, but I can't watch cooking shows anymore. Losing the ability to eat any old thing for a time last year broke me of it. Mostly a good thing. And anyway, I don't think my fave, Ina Garten is coming out with any new episodes:-)

biscottibody59 on 03/13/2011:
Oh, I'm going to assume TCM puts out the same signal, so I'll have to get back with you if I see something coming up that might interest you. Pygmalion--the play version--with Leslie Howard and Wendy Hiller was on the other night--I think I recorded it. I haven't seen it for a long time.

V on 03/13/2011:
Your front row seat on the wagon is always there!! So glad you made the connection even if it was a little late!! Love you Moogy and yes of course you will be the first to know about the date especially since you are up at that time :)

V on 03/13/2011:
LOL you got that right sister, in re of them being OCD...I am not sure how this will pan out seeing as though I have a severe case of it!!! LOL

V on 03/13/2011:
And yes some one should tell him to ease up a bit, it will surely be his demise if it continues!! LOL

V on 03/13/2011:
LOL!!! Well that was quite the performance!! LOl Here I was thinking that I am the only actress here and you come along with this oscar winning tantrum/tirade...LOl Were you inspired by Ms. Bette Davis with this ovation worthy performance!!! LOl You are too funny!!!

nita51 on 03/13/2011:
Thank you for the kind words. Hugs

V on 03/14/2011:
The date is Tuesday(wednesday for you) But I love your enthusiasm :) You Will be the first to know, I promise :)

selina on 03/14/2011:
You are doing remarkably well, Moogy, despite the ice cream setback which came with the benefit of the aha moment, which you'll be able to gain from in future experiences. Stay well and stay safe!

liza36 on 03/14/2011:
I see this as another victory in identifying the emotional eating.

At least you're running along side the wagon. That's more than I can say for myself.

nemogirl on 03/14/2011:
Thank you for your support and post!

legcramps on 03/14/2011:
I call that a breakthrough; you've gained a huge amount of knowledge in your quest to a healthier you. Speed isn't the priority here anyways... quality and consistency and lifelong are our words for the day :) Have a good day today!

moogy - Sunday Mar 13, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7



Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark.      - Anonymous

Today I am grateful for: birds - who joyfully live in the moment, having a daughter who is a best friend, strength to endure

Hello Lovely Girls, Forecast 88 degrees and still summer persists!! If I didn't have other things to worry about I could have a really good rant about the unfairness of my Autumn being stolen!!!! However, it is a lovely sunny morning with a cool breeze and so I will enjoy it for what it is just as the birds are doing! My daughter and I were having a bit of a chat last night, well we ended up having a bit of a crying session, the upshot being that men suck and we were so grateful to have each other. She was saying that she has noticed that I sometimes slur my words and that I speak more slowly. Indeed, I sometimes have to stop mid thought to try and remember what the rest of the though was!!!! We are feeling sure that something must show up on the MRI or the EEG!

I no longer have anything naughty in the house only food, so I am planning on eating healthy today and trying to get myself back into the groove. I am feeling better physically so I should be good to prepare meals. The big boys arrived home last night after spending three days in the city, they both received Bridge Climb tickets for their respective birthdays and so climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge on Thursday morning, I cannot explain how spectacular the view is from up there, and then went to the Aquarium and the Maritime Museum, toured The Rocks (the area that was first settled in city), it still feels a little spooky there, it was were the lower strata of society made their living - so I will leave the rest to your imagination!! It is now full of quaint little shops, cute boutiques and shops that make Australiana - boomerangs and such. Plus the most fabulous candle making shop. Anyway, the little girls have been away since Friday and I have to say that I will be glad when everyone is home again. No one is going to church today, the boys are exhausted and I can't be left alone until they know what is wrong with me!!

I will probably only be taking it easy today with the addition of cooking lunch (whoo hoo!) and hugging grandchildren, I am sure I can manage that without too much difficulty. I hope that you are enjoying your weekends and take advantage of making sure that the people you love know it! I love you girls and making sure you know it:)


Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

lifestylechange on 03/12/2011:
Have a lovely day and enjoy those grandkids:) Hope you stay warm!

Runforfun on 03/12/2011:
Love you too Moogy!! Sounds like you are having a great weekend! :)

panda22 on 03/12/2011:
Hugging grandchildren sounds like great exercise to me ;) Good plan to get back on track as well, getting all the bad foods out of the house really does help reduce temptation! My son did really well with his haircut, we were pleasantly surprised...I posted a few pictures if you want to see =) ....Hope your day went well!

loveray on 03/12/2011:
sounds like a great day and hope you get some peace and quiet:) my return to the "real world" has been okay so far, but i really miss seth already. i guess thats a good thing!! love you!

Runforfun on 03/12/2011:
I think they gave me a fever too! Darnit. Ha it put a damper on my workouts. But I did go on a short run.. couldn't help but go :) haha.

V on 03/12/2011:
Hiya Moogy!! I bet you missed your big boys :) How did you know that I would want to workout when I arrived home??? Are you spying on me?? LOL!! As you know What ever happened to Baby Jane is on my top 10 classic faves :) Here's a little trivia that you probably already know but here goes it....The two of them really despised each other especially since they competed alot for the same roles...Boy would I have loved to be a fly on the wall on the set of that movie! LOl I am getting a bit tired so I might turn in even earlier than I thought but I promise to meet ya here tomorrow so we can gossip some more ;) Love you Moogsters!!!

V on 03/12/2011:
OMG!! You are a genius!!! I have soup!!! LOL oh trust me i have pantry canned goods, i could probably survive for a few months here...Water is a staple for me too! I never run out of that. I am in full agreement in re of zombies, now what I lack in food rations, I make up for in the weapons department :)

greengirl on 03/13/2011:
Hello Moogy, nice to make your acquaintance. I live in Manchester so I'm not that far I suppose from where you were born, about 85 miles I reckon. I'm in sympathy with you having to have tests. I've just had a load in hospital because my doc seemed determined that I must have angina. All the tests proved otherwise thank goodness !! Good luck with yours. It sounds like you have a lovely family. Enjoy your day :-)

biscottibody59 on 03/13/2011:
Thank your for the tour above! Good to see you hanging in there today (or yesterday I guess) moogy!

So have a lovely Monday! (As for movies, do you get Turner Classic Movies there?)

nita51 on 03/13/2011:
Enjoy your Funday Sunday. :)

moogy - Friday Mar 11, 2011
(calorie counting - weigh in day Tuesday)
Weight: 232.7

Hello Lovely Girls, I am sorry not to have written regularly but I am not really dieting and feel like a bit of a fraud writing an entry. It isn't as if I have been going crazy or anything, it is just that sometimes I eat food that is good for me and sometimes I eat food that is not so good for me. I must get myself organised otherwise when I really do want to attack the weight again I will be really angry with myself for getting out of control.

It is a lovely cool morning and although it is getting very warm during the afternoon it is cooling down again at night. We have been promised this weather for the foreseeable future. I am hoping for cooler afternoons as well, but I guess that they will arrive soon! As for me, I am still having dizzy spells and feeling very tired. I suppose this is the reason I am finding it hard to focus on the food. I know that there is something drastically wrong with my brain and it is hard to focus on the food whilst not knowing what is wrong with me. It is going to take at least another six weeks before I have any answers and so I had better get myself planning and preparing food again otherwise I won't fit out the front door or inside the dreaded MRI machine. Thank you for all your well wishes, love and concern. I am so grateful to each of you for your support. Look after yourselves. I love you girls:)

Progress as of today: 28.6 lbs lost so far, only 57.7 lbs to go!

V on 03/11/2011:
Thank you for posting! I didn't realize that your appointment was in 6 weeks?? I think your condition requires urgent care!! I am sorry you are still dizzy... Hey listen, you are far from a fraud, you have been honest and open about this and no one is perfect here...I give you major props for continuing on with your posts regardless!!! I look forward to reading your posts, hearing about the kids and your amazing sense of humor that makes me smile throughout my day!!! Now I must tend to my dinner so I won't burn it!!! LOl I love you Moogy and thanks again for everything :) Back in a few :)

Umpqua on 03/11/2011:
I agree with V, it's good to hear from you and you are still keeping up the fight and keeping things in perspective, which is so important. I hope you get some answers and resolution soon!

V on 03/11/2011:
Back!! This is your diary and what you choose to put in it is up to you! This is a temporary situation and I am sure putting things in writingg also helps with putting things in perspective! No more talk of not posting, that is final!!!

biscottibody59 on 03/11/2011:
I'm sorry you have to suffer like this for 6 weeks.

The diarist from a few and many years ago (she's had four different diaries) who you remind me of almost never wrote about diet/food or anything related especially in her first one. No one ran her off, in fact she was very popular. She was probably the most popular diarist here--ever!

You're "good people" as we say here in Texas. You should feel free to do with your diary as you wish! And if you take a break, please let us know in advance and don't stay away long, please!

ps The proper use is, "He's good people." or "She's good people." In case you wanted to know--haha!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/12/2011:
In terms of weight and dieting, remember this: "It's not what you eat, but HOW MUCH you eat." I do some of my best dieting when I am indulging (moderately) in less than healthy food selections. However, I pair those selections up with a decaf coffee, sugar free drinks, etc., so that when I do have that granola bar or eggwhite on a biscuit, i'm having it with something filling and i'm satisfied. Learn to fill your stomach, start with something you really want to eat; and then have a drink to fill yourself up after you've eaten what you WANT. This trick works VERY well for me and I always do it! Many times I will buy a sugary small granola bar and then have a larger coffee. I do this often before walking when it's cold.

Thanks for saying my weightlifting is hard work. It is - and it probably helps me burn MORE CALORIES than if I did cardio instead. But, i will never stop cardio because I feel it makes my legs look good.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/12/2011:
(and if i had naturally thin legs, those skinny type of legs, I probably wouldn't concern myself with much cardio at all!...but my legs are not pencil-type legs...so cardio it is!) :-)

selina on 03/12/2011:
So sorry to hear you are going through a rough time, Moogy! Hang in there and don't worry about "dieting" as you have so much more to worry about. I hope your daughter and grandkids are doing well.

nemogirl on 03/12/2011:
Thank you for your post. I think I actually did wallow in it, just like you said. But, the hemmoraging has stopped. Something that helped me was to get back on my plan mid day, even though I blew the morning wide open. Having that yogurt blueberry dessert felt so pleasantly spartan and wholesome it helped me regain focus. That's what I lose when i snack, focus and control. Maybe you have that same experience, too? I said some prayers for you.Take care

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