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mylilsista - Friday Mar 12, 2010
(Food Exchange)
Weight: 189.0

It's been easier this week to stick to my eating plan.  I'm learning the value of not eating simply because something looks appealing or smells good. 

I'm also understanding the importance of planning ahead. 

(1) Packing healthier snacks, for example, before heading to school, has resulted in my not eating from campus vending machines. 

(2) When I know I'm going to eat out at a restaurant, I look up the menu on the Internet and get detailed nutritional information.  I print it out and take it with me so I can make good food choices. 

(3)  As soon as I begin to feel the slightest twinge of hunger, I begin planning what I'm going to eat for my next meal.  If I wait until I'm completely hungry, I'll probably grab whatever is quick, even if it's not healthy.

(4) I try to keep my meals as light as possible in calories, yet satisfying.  That way I have calories available later for snack (and I KNOW I'll want to snack). 

Slept through breakfast, so didn't have any.

Lunch: Frozen entree (Pasta with white chicken, peas & carrots in cream sauce); added a little parmesan cheese...yummy! (290 calories and 35 g. carbs); wheat roll (80 calories & 14 g. carbs).  Total for this meal = 370 calories and 49 carbs)...

My goal is to stay under 50 g. carbs/400 calories per meal.  This gives plenty of room for snacking, which I usually do.  Why try to fight it? I'll do better to accomodate snacks so I don't feel deprived than to white-knuckle it and force myself to fight the urges.  As long as my snacks are low in calories, sugar-free when possible and sensible, I feel safe.  So far, I've continued to lose weight, rather rapidly, with snacks included in my meal plan. 

Ok, back to homework.  Hope you all have a good weekend!

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!


mylilsista - Thursday Mar 11, 2010
(Food Exchange)
Weight: 189.0

Wasn't hungry this morning so I downed a Chocolate Slim Fast for breakfast (170 calories, 24 g. carbs). 

Snack: candy (120 calories, 30 g. carbs)

Lunch: Frozen Weight Watchers entree--Sesame Chicken & Rice (320 calories, 48 g. carbs). 

Snack: chips & dip (175 calories, 20 g. carbs)

Dinner: Boneless pork chop on wheat bun (280 calories; 12 g. carbs); medium banana (109 calories, 28 g. carbs)

Totals thus far (not including snack tonight while studying) 854 calories & 150 g. carbs

Carb limit based on following formula: 

Take your daily calorie limit (mine is 1600 ) and multiply that amount by 60%

1600 x 0.60 = 960

960 calories of my diet per day is suppose to be carbs.  There are 4 calories in each gram of carbohydrates. 

960 divided by 4 = 240 grams per day.

So, for a 1600 calorie a day diet, I am suppose to consume no more than 240 g. of carbohydrates.  I have been limiting myself to 180  grams but suspected my calculations were off.  I was right...I am actually allowed more grams than I initially calculated.  Most days, I don't eat anywhere near that amount...however, it's nice to know I have the allowance should I want to use it.   My dietician, years ago, told me not to worry about fat grams, etc'...She said if I count calories and carbs that it would all work itself out.  She was right; I lost 80 lbs doing this. 

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!


mylilsista - Wednesday Mar 10, 2010
(Food Exchange)
Weight: 189.0

I got to change my weight again today!  At last, I made it under the 190 mark on the scales!  I'm soooooooooooooo excited!  Seven pounds down, 19 more to go!  I'm beginning to see a slight difference in my face but no where else (yet). 

Two years ago, I wore medium tops and 12 to 13 in jeans.  Last year, I couldn't wear any of the medium-sized tops; I ended up giving them away and buying larger ones--out of necessity (I had no tops whatsoever that fit)!.  I was shocked when I went shopping and found I had ballooned up to 1x (and even size 2x for some tops).  Then I graduated to size 14 jeans that were getting way too tight for me last month; evidence that I was actually a size 16 but was in denial about it. 

My goal is to be back into size 12/13 jeans and medium tops by the summer.  Preferrably, I will fit into a size 12, comfortably and get out of the uneven sizes altogether (meaning, no size 13s at all).  I'm hopeful....What I've been doing has been working beautifully and the results are showing up on the scales.  So, I think I'll do it again today. 

Breakfast: Strawberry Slim Fast (170 calories, 24 g. carbs)

Packing snack for school: 2 tangerines (74 calories, 18 g. carbs); cheese puffs (170 calories, 17 g. carbs), Crystal Light Tea.

Late Lunch: Weight Watchers frozen entree (290 calories, 40 g. carbs)

Snack: fruit (74 calories; 18 g. carbs)

Dinner 1 c. hashbrowns (140 calories, 32 g. carbs); scrambled egg beaters (30 calories; 1 g. carbs); Canadian bacon (80 calories, 1 g. carbs); 2 slices of wheat toast with I I Can't Believe it's Not Butter spread (85 calories, 14 g. carbs)

Totals thus far: 1113 calories & 165 g. carbs (daily limits; 1600 calories & 180 g. carbs)

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

Playmate on 03/10/2010:
Doing good! I remember when I was 170 I was wearing the same sizes too. Cant wait til you get there. Mucho congrats on breaking into the 80's!!!!



mylilsista - Tuesday Mar 09, 2010
(Diabetic Exchange)
Weight: 190.0

Today hasn't been too much of a challenge.  I was surprised when I woke up hungry this morning.  I haven't ate breakfast in years; I normally feel zero hunger in the mornings and can't force myself to eat.  But this morning I really had an appetite.  I thought about downing a Slim Fast, opposed to eating because it's less calories.  But, since I was experiencing genuine hunger, I decided instead, to eat.  I was worried if I drank a Slim Fast and then went to school, I would get hungry during class and eat from the vending machines.  So, I had:

Breakfast: 3 slices of turkey bacon (105 calories; 0 g. carbs); 1/4 c. egg beaters scrambled (30 calories; 1 g. carbs); Wheat English muffin (80 calories; 17 g. carbs); 1 Tbsp.  fat-free I can't believe it's not butter, spread (5 calories; 0 g. carbs)

On the way home I went to the drugstore and bought some sugar-free, low-calorie candy.  There are times I want something sweet and yet, there's nothing in the house to satisfy that craving.  I ate:

snack: 1 mini sugar-free peppermint patty candy (40 calories; 6 g. carbs)

I was satisfied after that yet, my mind told me to eat more...more...more!!  I admit, it was hard to not give in and eat 3 or 4 more.  But, I forced myself to stop!!  I truly wasn't hungry and the ONE really did satisfy my craving. Past experiences have proven when I give in to those temptations and binge, I am consumed with feelings of failure.  I usually follow that up with, "Well...I blew it, I may as well eat whatever I want now.  What does it matter?" 

Today however, I didn't engage in such insanity.  I put the bag of candy on top of the China cabinet (out of sight, out of mind) and went on with my day.  If I do not abuse sweets, I can have them occasionally, and without guilt. 

At lunch I wasn't very hungry but decided I would eat something so I wouldn't feel famished and over-eat later.  So I ate:

Lunch: two 98% fat-free Oscar Meyer hotdogs (80 calories; 1 g. carbs): 1 wheat hotdog bun (80 calories; 15 g. carbs); Lays chips Light (80 calories, 17 g. carbs); Fat-free French onion dip (30 calories, 3 g. carbs)

Totals thus far, 530 calories; 50 g. carbs.

It's 10:21 pm...I will be up very late doing homework.  I plan to eat a sensible dinner (later) that will give me an adequate amount of calories for the day.  For now, however, I just woke up from a nap and as usual, have no appetite.  It's getting easier to stick with my plan...I suppose it's because I'm actually seeing results.  I've only been monitoring what I eat for 16 days and already, I've lost 6 lbs.  This has really shown me how out of control my eating was and how I can't eat whatever I want without consequence. 

Dinner: Frozen entree, Weight Watchers Chicken Fettucini (290 calories, 40 g. carbs)

Snacks: odds and ends (280 calories; 36 g. carbs)

Totals 1100 calories, 126 g. carbs

Take care,

Lisa

Progress as of today: 6 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 03/09/2010:
Hey there. I was just reading some of your previous entries and you do have a lot on your plate. I am praying for you and your son. I speak from a bit of experience as I took care of my mother (who has bi-polar and some severe psychosis) for about a year and then watched her come in and out of institutions much like your son. Trust in the higher power to guide you and your son through this difficult time- I know it seems to never end, but my mom (after 5 long years) has been well for a year and a half. Hang in there and know you are taken care of. xo


mylilsista on 03/09/2010:
Thanks for your encouragement loveray...It's nice to hear from someone who understands the unpredictable nature of mental illness and the rollercoaster of emotions it entails for those whose lives it touches. I have to believe my higher power will guide things in the end (hugs)...


Playmate on 03/09/2010:
I know what you mean about seeing result. Ive lost 10 lbs in 13 days, and really has helped me to stick with my eating plan.


mylilsista on 03/09/2010:
Isn't it great to actually see those numbers on the scales go down?? Good work! It's not easy but it IS worth it.



mylilsista - Monday Mar 08, 2010
(Diabetic Exchange)
Weight: 190.0

Woke up too late for breakfast...Felt great sleeping in though!!

Lunch:  Weight Watchers frozen entree (Orange Sesame Chicken/rice)...320 Calories, 48 grams carbs; yogurt with 1/2 banana, sliced...128 calories & 26 g. carbs.  Total for this meal 448 calories & 74 g. carbs

Dinner: Steak, new potatoes & mixed veggies (550 calories; 26 g. carbs); 4 pieces of candy (80 calories; 20 g. carbs)

Totals thus far, 1078 calories & 120 g. carbs...

Daily Limits: 1600 calories & 180 g. carbs...

Think I'll have me some sugar-free, low carb ice cream tonight as snack before bedtime.  It's so nice when I have a good food day and can afford to splurge a little. 

Progress as of today: 6 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!


mylilsista - Monday Mar 08, 2010
(Diabetic Exchange)
Weight: 190.0

Stepped on the scales this morning and was shocked to see I weighed 190!!  I dropped another 1.5 lbs.  Six pounds down and 20 more to go to get to my goal weight.

I didn't think I'd lost anything because I fell off the wagon a couple times this week.  I regrouped and got back on track.  Then yesterday, I visited my son (who is paranoid schizophrenic).  He'd been stable for a long time but yesterday, he was as sick as I'd ever seen him.  He'd convinced himself that the voices in his head are somehow associated with food.  If only he'd quit eating, they'd go away forever.  So, he has been starving himself for days and he assured himself this was okay because God wants him to "fast"...His health had become so bad that he had been placed in an observation cell and under constant medical monitoring.

Oh boy...So, I told him an outright lie--that even people who fast eat "starches".  After a while, I convinced him that he can "fast" as long as he wanted but his eating starches would be okay.

I bought a Twix bar out of the vending maching and ate the caramel off the top; which totally deviated from my diet.  Then I told him the crackers that were left were starches and he could safely eat them and STILL be fasting.  He fell for it.  He ate them.  A while later, I bought a PB&J sandwich and did the same thing.  He ate 2 of them.  Then I did the same with wheat crackers and cheese and Cheeze-Its, flavored coffee and Moutain Dew.  He consumed each of them.  His color began improving and I could see he had more energy. 

Since he's in prison, the guards (who had been watching him starve himself for days) were watching the whole thing unfold. I could tell they were happy to see him eat.  I left the prison, praying that he would continue eating and not find out I lied to him.  His disease is a brutal one...some days I feel overwhelmed by it.  But, I'm sure he does too. 

So yes, yesterday I ate some things I didn't want to eat but I didn't care--my son was more important and took priority.  To step on the scale today and see I lost another 1.5 pounds was a nice surprise.  For those of you who are spiritual and believe in prayer, please pray for my son (his name is Ryan)...

God bless!

Lisa

Progress as of today: 6 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

nosetwitch on 03/08/2010:
wow, you have a lot on your plate. good luck today!



mylilsista - Friday Mar 05, 2010
(Diabetic Exchange)
Weight: 191.5

This morning I noticed the scales are inching closer to that 191 line!   I know it's not taking long to lose the first five pounds but I want results and I want them yesterday!! (laugh)...

Oh well, I didn't pack the extra-pounds on overnight so they will not go away overnight...patience, patience, patience!

Lunch:  Weight Watchers frozen entree...Pineapple Beef Teriyaki (260 calories;  38 g. carbs); serving of bread (80 calories;  14 g. carbs); Crystal Lite peach tea

Dinner: salsibury steak/mashed potatoes with gravy (330 calories; 25 g. carbs); corn (40 calories; 7.5 g carbs); dinner roll (80 calories: 14 g. carbs)

Snacks: chips (260 calories; 26 g. carbs)

 

Total thus far, 1050 calories (limit 1600) ; 124.5 g. carbs (limit 180 g.)

I graduated from size 12/13 in jeans to size 14 several months ago.  Even they have become snug.  This is, I believe, the catalyst that prompted me to do something about these extra lbs...Tonight, I'm wearing these 14's; they're tight and uncomfortable.  But, I absolutely refuse to go out and buy larger jeans.  I've done that before and assured myself it would only be a temporary change until I lost a few extra-pounds--then I could go back to the smaller jeans (rolling eyes)...Well, that didn't happen!  I, instead, continued eating compulsively and packing on the pounds. Someday I'll slip them on and they'll be comfortable; then, in time, they'll become loose. 

Progress as of today: 4.5 lbs lost so far, only 21.5 lbs to go!

beatingfat on 03/05/2010:
Patience is certainly a virtue. Many times I feel like you. It seems like it so easy to gain the weight but it takes an long time to lose it. You're doing great. Have you started exercising? That shoud also help. Good luck and keep the faith.


mylilsista on 03/05/2010:
Thanks for the encouragement! I haven't started working out yet; I'm checking out gym memberships to see which one offers the best deal. Hopefully I'll join on in the next week or two!


geevee on 03/06/2010:
Size 14 was the cut off point for me too. I was in such denial of my being so overweight that when a 14 didn't fit at the store I would say that "it runs small". Well, soon EVERY 14 ran small. I absolutely refused to buy size 16.So, boy! we're really in synch on this, aren't we!

I don't think you had joined DD's yet, but in Nov. at Thanksgiving, I squeezed myself into a size 10 pair of jeans my daughter had given me for Christmas the previous year. I had never been able to get into them, so even tho I looked squashed in them, I wore them as a constant reminder of NOT to eat much. LThey were SNUG!

In contrast to Nov., about ten pounds ago, the same jeans are now too loose!It's a great feeling!

Like you repeated, PATIENCE! The loss will come.



mylilsista - Thursday Mar 04, 2010
(Diabetic Exchange)
Weight: 192.0

Did surprisingly well today; perhaps because I got up late (no breakfast) and my hunger level was relatively low the rest of the day.  Some days I have little, if any appetite; yet other days I'd eat the cat if it sit still long enough. Yes, cat....the OTHER white meat  (hehehe)!  Today was one of those days when my appetite was low.

Lunch: 2 slices of low-calorie wheat toast (80 calories);  1/2 serving pizza sauce (30 calories); 9 slices of turkey pepperoni (40 calories); 1/2 serving of mozarella cheese (40 calories)...

Toasted bread, covered with pizza sauce, pepperoni and cheese; baked in oven on 450 until cheese melted.  totals: 180 calories; 20.5 grams carbs

Dinner: frozen low-calorie entree (chicken, noodles, peas and white sauce)...290 calories; 36 g. carbs

Snacks: 1 tangerine (37 calories, 9 g. carbs); Minute Maid frozen juice bar (60 calories; 15 g. carbs); chips (280 calories; 36 g. carbs)

Total calories today: 847.....My limit 1600

Total carbs today: 116.5 grams....My limit 180 grams

 

 

 

 


mylilsista - Thursday Mar 04, 2010
(Diabetic Exchange)
Weight: 192.0

Ok, I have a confession.  Last night I fell off the wagon but not in a major way.  I was in my room watching tv and got an urge for something to snack on.  So, I indulged in several servings of Lay's Baked chips.  Until then, I'd been trying to exercise portion control.  Today I calculated the damage...I was 310 calories over my allowance after that little binge

I suppose I could beat myself up over it, but why bother? Engaging in self-condemnation serves no purpose other than to discourage me.  So, I decided not to dwell on this episode but instead, forgive myself & do some damage control by reducing my calorie intake today by 310 calories.  I don't see that as difficult; I didn't get out of bed today until 10:30..I'm not hungry and lunch is only a couple of hours away.  So, the most effortless way to make up for last night's binge is to skip the breakfast that I'm not even in the mood to eat. 

Ok, got to get to work.  Hope you all have a great day...

Lisa 

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2010:
yeah, don't beat yourself up. it's not necessary and it just hurts you emotionally.

today's a new day. don't worry. i find what works for me is to EAT NORMALLY the day after a binge. don't restrict. it works and prevents another binge soon after! :-)



mylilsista - Wednesday Mar 03, 2010
(Balanced diet)
Weight: 192.0

Had a really stressful day but managed to take the time to eat healthy.  Resisting the urge to eat when I'm under stress is challenging, I admit, but today I succeeded in sticking to my plan to control my eating habits.

This evening, while driving home, I was hungry and the thought crossed my mind to stop at some fast-food joint.  The evil Lisa was saying, "Go ahead!  It's ONLY one meal! You deserve it!!"  The sensible Lisa smacked the evil twin in the head and said, "Shut up! You'll be home in 10 minutes and can fix your own meal; one that will be healthy and keep you on tract!   So...I drove home & cooked. 

I still haven't heard from my son...While I'm anxious about the abrupt interruption in our communications, I've made a conscious choice NOT to eat at the situation...That's been my normal response to stress, anxiety and fear.  But, in reality, this behavior has served no purpose other than packing on the pounds. 

Breakfast: Slim fast-=170 calories

Lunch: sandwich (wheat bread, fat-free bologna, lettuce, tomato)=130 calories; low-fat chips=80 calories; no-fat dip=40 calories; tangerine=37 calories

Snack: serving of low-fat ice cream=180 calories

Dinner: lean hamburger on wheat bun with lettuce, tomato & slice of mozerella=310 calories; one serving of fries=180 calories

Snack: baked cheese puffs=170 calories

Today's total: 1297 calories

 

nita51 on 03/03/2010:
Loved the good twin verses evil twin post. Yes, it sure feels like that sometimes LOL Glad you took the high road instead of the low road (smile) Didn't know they made fat free bologna, who is it made by? & where can I get some? Take Care and have a good Thursday.


geevee on 03/04/2010:
Stopping at a fast food place on the way home was a good bit of my problem. Good for you in NOT doing it yesterday!


mylilsista on 03/04/2010:
Oops...I was wrong. The bologna is 98% fat free (but good enough)! Oscar Meyer makes it; it's only 25 calories a slice, 1/2 g. fat and it tastes just like the original! I've found a couple brands of bread that are 60 to 80 calories for TWO slices and are low in fat..Combined, they make a pretty sexy low-calorie sandwich (laugh!)

Thx for visiting my diary! Lisa



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