|
wow. I am a fat, disgusting failure. My clothes are all starting not to fit. I take forever to get ready when I go out (with is rarely) because I have to try on 50 outfits to find one that fits decently. I honestly don't even want to leave the house anymore. I feel bloated and fat and I am really disappointed in myself because I thought I had this weight thing under control! Well, I don't. I totally failed!
You know what I realized? Something really depressing. I used to be a size 20 and when you are a size 20, almost anyone smaller than you is skinny. I remember looking at women I thought were in really good shape and thinking, "Oh, they're about a size 10. Maybe, with a lot of hard work, I could be a size 10." Then I became a size 10 and realized that all those women I had been looking at were really like a 4 or 6, so the jokes on me. I'm still the fat girl! Except I had to do one better and actually gain back some of the weight I lost instead of losing some more. God, I hate myself.
|
Comment left by roxy321 on 04/30/2004:
Ok sweeite, first of all. wouldnt you rather be a size 10 than 20? be thankful for just that girl! and if you arent happy with your weight now.. just do whatever you did before.. bc it worked great! You can't have that kind of attitude. Love who you are sweetie, and care for your body, and just shape it how you want.. YOU have that control. the joke is NOT on you. You lost SO MUCH!
Be proud of your accomplishments! hec. i would!
|
|
Comment left by borntocry on 04/30/2004:
Hi,
I don't have a diary on this site yet - I'm just reading. I'm the same height as you and also a vegetarian. I also hate physical activity. It would be good if you could take up a sport with a friend, but what works for me is having some exercise equipment at home. I live in a studio with no room for anything big so I got a mini-bike. I can use it while watching T.V. and I have no excuse not to, so it's perfect. Keep up your self esteem - you have already lost a lot of weight so you know you can do it.
|
|
Comment left by kayla on 04/30/2004:
Today I am in and adventure and super hero mode... so here goes... in your adventure its dark and all hope seems lost but it isn't because you are in an adventure if there were no low's you would never see the highs! Right now it is hard for you to enjoy the adventure and changing your thinking is your right! The evil villins out there want you to hate you...it makes their job so much easier if you turn your sword on yourself... so don't do it... You are not your size... you are a fabulous woman... winning a fight... size 20 to size 10 is fricken amazing... you need to stand up and take your place in front! you are leading this fight! you are a worrior... you need to encourage others... you have a responsibity to all of us who have yet to see we can change... and when you get your mind changed and off hating you you will find happiness because you are our hero... now get up and start fighting with us and for us! -Kayla
|
|
Comment left by pinkuspettuty on 04/30/2004:
"YOU" are not = to your body size. I am sure you are disappointed in how you have been acting in your relationship with food. And I know how much it would feel better to be thinner. BUT YOU are the sum total of many parts, happy, sad, loving, angry, productive easygoing, anxious, active inactive etc. Try to focus on something you like about yourself. The world is too inviting for you to be so worried that your size and let your eating define who you are. Find support outside yourself. Talking such negative talk to yourself will get you nowhere witha capital N. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. HAVE A BETTER DAY, PAM P. S. Wow! on the previous weight loss. I wish I could say the same.
|
|
Comment left by squiggly on 04/30/2004:
Don't be so down on yourself. I agree that it is easy to look at everyone smaller than you and think they are skinny. I used to be a size 8 and even though I could wear a bikini I still thought that I was big. I'm now just starting to fit into size 22. I was size 24 at my highest. YOu are a good person. There is no joke. Some of those girls are at a unhealthy weight. Everyone is different size, shape, so different sizes look different. Your healthy size may not be a 4 or 6. It may be an 8. Do this for you not because you want to look like everyone else. You can do this. We are here for you. It is hard but you are not a bad person for being bigger than those girls. You are not a failure. Try to think positive. It helps more than being negative. We all have our negative days though. I wish you the best and i know that you can do this. We are all here for you. Also, congrats on the weight that you have lost before. YOu did it once, you can do it again.
|
|
|
|
| |
|
This is my first entry on diet diaries. I thought that maybe writing a public diary like this would give be the boost I need to finally shed all these unsightly pounds! I am 5 ft 2 inches tall, weighing about 165 pounds, which is far too much! I currently wear a size 10/12. I would like to lose between 40 and 50 pounds ultimately, and I would be happy wearing a size 5/6 or less.
I follow a strict vegetarian diet and will track all my daily stats in fitday. I also need to start a good exercise plan, as I have never been one who enjoyed physical activity. Any advice anyone has will be greatly appreciated!
I would like very much to transform myself into "The Bride" from Kill Bill vol. 2 and kick some major ass, and eventually, I want to go to China to study martial arts for a year. But let's just see if I can't get some of this weight off first!
My first goal is to lose 5 pounds this week. It's my first week, so I am hoping that 5 pounds is possible what with water weight and all.
A slightly larger goal is that I want to lose 20 pounds by June 3rd, which is when classes start at my university.
|
Comment left by Kosh on 04/19/2004:
You know if you go to China the weight'll proabably just fall off from there. Seriously, I don't know how old you are, but teenage girls and women in their early-twenties are totally anorexic there, especially in the big cities. I was there for two weeks last year and dropped at least 3kg...
Ah~~...how I miss my homeland...-_-
|
|
Comment left by geevee on 04/19/2004:
Welcome! We have a lot in common. I, too, am 5'2" and weighed 165 when I started my diet last August. What I find interesting is that at 165 my waist was 39" and now that I'm 137.5, it's 33!
Good luck on losing 5 lbs. the first week. It won't be easy. I've had to readjust my goals along the way. There are "bad" days when you overeat and the weight just doesn't come off as fast as I would like, but it continues to drop.
By the way, a son of mine went to the Shaolin Monastery when he was in China and was quite impressed! The tee shirts he bought there are treasured gifts to his brothers who are all interested in martial.
Good luck on a new beginning. Post frequently.
|
|
Comment left by garlic on 04/19/2004:
Here is to wishing you loads of success on your fitness journey. I'm a strict vegetarian too. Are you vegan? I aspire to be vegan but haven't reached there just yet.
|
|
Comment left by inmorning on 04/19/2004:
Welcome and I was wondering how long you have been a vegetarian and what kind of vegetarian are you?
|
|
|
|
| |
|
