breakaway - LOL That's why I made this name. I yelled something at a road sign while driving on my way home, and my friend (the passenger) freaked out and made a sound like a startled furby. I thought it was cute, so I made it into a name. :)

Well, woohoo! I'm finally getting my weight back down to where it was *before* the holidays. Hehe! I can't really see a difference, though. Oh well. I hope ya'll are doing pretty good. :) Not much to say right now, so... Cya 'round. :)

Last night was kinda sucky. My hubby and I went to our weekly game, and he ended up quitting due to some rules he didn't like. *sighs* And then the hostess made a bunch of snickerdoodle cookies, and set them down... where? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! So, I ate 4. Thankfully, though, they were small ones, and didn't add up to *too* much over what I expected. SIGHS. So now I'm going to be going out by myself every Saturday night, while hubby stays home with the kiddo. Bleh. I haven't decided yet whether I'm looking forward to it or not. But anyway, I just wanted to rant for a sec, I'm going to go do some housecleaning now.

Yeurgh! So, I'm finally back. My computer crapped out, stopped letting me access a lot of websites that I had previously been able to access (like this one), and we just got the issue fixed a week or so ago. So, here I am! I gained a little bit of my weight back, but that's ok, because it's a short jump down to where I was (when I started gaining back I was down to 248). I gained probably 18lbs and I've already lost 8 of that. :) So I hope ya'll are doing well!!

I joined the Discovery Health National Body Challenge, and am really looking forward to working out at Bally's... Once I'm over whichever illness I've got this time. Yes, that's right, I go weigh in and pick up my wl kit and 2 DAYS LATER I'M SICK AS A DOG!@!! :(:( I haven't been able to do any movement besides walking around the house, as doing more than that sends searing pain throughout my sinuses. :( But I think I'm getting better, my chest doesn't hurt nearly as bad. I can't wait to start working out! That'll make losing weight SO MUCH EASIER. Urgh.

Hi! legcramps, yes this is her first year. Kindergarten. She's soooo excited, so am I! I hope her first year of school is better than mine was. HAHA! My kindergarten teacher was older than God and more evil than the Devil.

Okay well I'm off, gotta go finish fixing dinner. Bye everyone, have good times!

Geez, it's been awhile since I've written. Sorry, I've been really busy. Getting my daughter ready to start school and everything. Should be fun.

Well, my 25th birthday was yesterday. Wow. I s'pose I'm 'officially an adult' now. Weeeeeeeeeeird. Aah well.

So, my weight hasn't changed at all (in fact, I think it's gone up a couple of pounds), but I'm now fitting into some size 20's depending on the style. I think that's pretty weird. Hmm.

Well, hope ya'll are having a good time of it. Good luck, everyone.

Huh. A lot's happened this past week. I did some house rearranging, played lost and found with a DVD case my daughter hid before she left, got REALLY SORE butt muscles for NO REASON WHATSOEVER, got my hair cut and coloured (I'm now a redhead with bangs, YAAY!!), got a bad case of poison ivy (oak maybe??) on my legs from ankles to upper thigh (OUCH!), threw a dinner party for some of our friends, registered our car, discovered that the "friend" who "fixed" our car LIED to us about fixing it (he didn't fix a DAMN THING and LIED about it), and we made arrangements with our family to get the car REALLY fixed. Wow... What a busy week. Actually... Come to think of it, the stuff that concerned "us", I did all of. Car, dinner party, rearranging, dvd hunting, etc... All me. GEEZ... I'm really tired now, both mentally and physically. LOL! Think I'll go to bed now, actually. Have a good week everyone!!!!! :):)

Wow... Well, my daughter left yesterday morning. Went out to stay with her granny. :) She's gone until it's time to enroll her in school (1st week of August)! That's going to make it SO MUCH EASIER to get done the housework and yardwork I need to do. HOpefully I'll be able to get it all done before she gets back.

Also yesterday, I weeded the path to my house... Well, I live in a finished basement, so we have this cute little walkway going around the side of the house, that's half woodchips and half gypsum rocks, with stepping stones going through. And all around that entire path were WEEDS WEEDS WEEDS! There were so many they were starting to grow up onto the stones. They were sprayed with round-up on Saturday, but... just having them dead doesn't mean they won't be there anymore. So I had to go pull them all out. Geez that was HARD. I also trimmed about a foot and a half off the hedges along the fence. YECH! The hedge clippers were extremely DULL. I'm seriously considering getting the mini chainsaw and just slicing them all off to 3 or 4 feet and starting them fresh. Hehe! But today.. my arms HURT, my hands HURT, the tips of my fingers hurt even! Everything's all swollen and stiff. I've never done work like that before, so it's no wonder, but still. OW!

Ok, well hope you all have a good day! (week?) Bye!

Huh. Well. My husband's grandmother (who owns the house we live in) and aunt and uncle (who manage our rent) came over and did yard work. They got everything taken care of that I didn't because I didn't know *what* to do. Well, now I know what to do, and now I have something to occupy my time. I have weeding, and I have to trim the hedges along the back of the fence. They showed me how to use the bug spray and the weed killer (yaay, no more poison ivy!), and told me that all in all they thought I was doing a good job on the yard. And they all have been noticing my weight loss. I think they're attributing it to the small amount of yardwork I've done. haha! Aah well. I'm also going to be getting some things from my local botanical here in a couple of weeks and starting up an indoor herb garden. I <3 fresh herbs, and haven't had the opportunity to grow them, but now I finally do. I've also been thinking about planting some annuals around the edges of the yard.. I know it's a little late in the year, but it's still warm and wet, so if I get them already cultivated, I'll still have at least a little bit of colour before winter sets in and everything dies. :) (I'm feeling a bit better today, if you hadn't noticed!) Uhmm... I s'pose that's about it for now. :)

Have a good day (week?) everyone!

SIGHS. Sorry I haven't written in so long. I've been feeling sorta.... weird, lately. Don't know what it is. I think I've lost myself, and need to rediscover who I am. I've always been comfortable with myself, so this is a totally new experience for me, and I'm having a real hard time with it. I just feel... apathetic. Like I don't really care. About anything. I don't feel NEGATIVE, I just don't really feel. No, I do. I feel like I don't have a purpose anymore. Our financial situation has straightened itsself out, so the need to find a job isn't immediately pressing anymore. My daughter's starting school in exactly a month, so my immediate responsibility for full time care toward her as lessened slightly. I'm just so lost. I don't really have anything to engage me anymore. My husband thinks it's very sad, but I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just kinda here. The only thing that hasn't changed is my love for my family. Sighs. I don't know when I'll be making a new entry, but I'll try to keep writing every few days.

Good luck, everyone, and don't give up.

LOL Ok... So remember those 2 enemies I talked about in the beginning? Well, I happened to see both of them yesterday... And I also happened to be looking my BEST. Oh it was SO FUNNY. I'm sorry, I'm probably going to offend someone here, so please have my apology in advance, but I just HAVE to rant about this for a moment. So, apparently they've both been trying to lose weight, right? Well, they're not doing a very good job of it! The one I saw most recently, well.... When I last saw her, she was a size 18. I was expecting her to be smaller, right? Well, she's a size 24 at LEAST. LOL!!! And the other... OMG.... she has to weigh at least 340lbs, and apparently has lost some weight in the last few months. I felt SO GOOD standing there in my "little" (compared to those two) size 20 dress with a defined waist and la la la! LOL I'm sorry, I'm just uber excited about this new development. It just motivates me MORE!!! There's nothing like seeing your worst enemies in worse shape than you are to renew your efforts. :)

LOL Ok, on to other news... My hubby FINALLY started his new job today, after waiting A WEEK for his uniforms. We're probably not going to be able to pay rent at the end of the month, seeing as how his next paycheck will be almost as short as this one will be (only $300). ARGH! I hate not being able to find a job. I think I'm going to apply for waitressing positions in some local greasy spoons. Denny's and the like. It's about the only option I have left. *SIGH* Aah well, it's a start.

So, hope you all had a good 4th, and continue to have a good week!!! :)

Huh. I wonder if something might be wrong with me. My weight loss suddenly JUMPED. Really weird. *sigh*

Huh.... Weird.

Whoopie, another pound!

Kayla, honey, I'm glad I could bring to the surface a special memory of yours!!

Have a good week!!!

Another pound gone. Cheers!

Well, my hubby got a new post today, but can't start till we get the car back from the mechanic. Who knows when that's gonna be. *sigh* The post doesn't pay all too well, but it's a supervisory position (Site Manager), so it's a step up. Looking forward to him starting, it'll be NORMAL DAYTIME HOURS! 8am-4pm. I cannot WAIT for him to start. That's gonna be awesome.

Ok, just wanted to update. WooHoo! Must go do more laundry *twitch*. Have a good day!

OHHHHH MAN!!!! So hubby and I went to game last night, and what should be before me but a CHOCOLATE CAKE (EXTRA ICING) that Kristy made in celebration of our anniversary last weekend. HOW THE HELL DO YOU SAY NO TO THAT?! Kristy and Dave don't even EAT chocolate cake! :(:(:( Well, needless to say, I didn't say no. BAD FURBY, BAD!!! LOL! Aah well, today is a new day. :)

So our car finally got picked up yesterday, early afternoon. But... The mechanic says he can't guarantee it'll be ready by Monday morning, and we HAVE TO HAVE A RIDE for my hubby to get to a KICKASS job interview. I think one of our friends has volunteered to take him if the car's not ready, but I'm not entirely sure. I really need to doublecheck that. Hmmmmmm. *ponders*

Ok, so I've got this really weird happy-nervous-anxious-excited feeling (butterflies in the stomach kind), and don't know where it's coming from, but hopefully it's a good sign of things to come. A couple of days ago, when my daughter and I were out for a walk, we got to see a couple of fawns up close and personal. It was the GREATEST experience. Then they decided they wanted to play.. Started stomping the feet and bobbing the heads. So I jumped, they ran, we ran after them. It was GREAT. Never experienced anything like it in my life. :) WOOHOO!

Happy going, everyone!

I haven't decided if my life is going great or falling apart. I know that my CAR is falling apart. The dude who's supposed to fix it says he's coming over right now to haul it back to his place, but he's been putting me off for so long, that we'll see, I guess.

Lost another lb. Yaay. It's sssslllloooowwww going, but at least it's going.

Sorry my entries have been boring, I just haven't been thinking very clearly for the last couple of weeks. Too damn much going on here. *sighs*

Well, yesterday was my 6th wedding anniversary. I had a lot of sex and played a lot of video games. Oh yaay. Sex is good and all, but wish I could have gone out and done *something*, y'know? LoL!

So... I'm not losing weight very fast, but I'm feeling a bit better. Although... I had my hubby take full body pictures of me with the webcam, just in my underwear... It was horrible. I am a big fat cellulite blob with a butt so big it *hangs*. AAGH. If I were anything but what I am, that would be motivation for not eating for a month or two. *sigh* Shouldn't have looked at those pictures.

Hope you all are having a better time of it than I am. :)

Huh. I got a battery for my scale, finally. Another 2lb gone. Cheers for me. Have a good week, everyone.

Ok... So I haven't written in awhile. Sorry... Things are a bit hectic here. Trying to find a job and all. Stupid security company. Sighs.

I still don't know what I weigh, but hopefully I will very soon. I haven't been eating right lately, because of the company I've been keeping recently (lame excuse, I know), but at least I haven't been overeating like I used to. Probably why I haven't gained anything back (at least I don't think I have, my "new" clothes still fit fine).

I'm irritated. For some reason I *cannot* seem to make any male friends that don't want to... Well, for lack of a better term, boink me. I don't get along that great with chicks because I'm not "girly" enough or whatever, so an old friend of mine called me the perfect woman... I like beer, pizza, and porn. LoL! So, naturally, chicks don't like me. But all dudes want to do is jump me. ARGH! I give up on friends. I'll live my life as a hermit, with only my family to keep me company. LOL!

Ok, well hope you all are having a great week!

Tae-Bo rocks. Water sucks. I slosh. Blah. But at least I finally made it all the way through the Tae-Bo video. LOL.

Low carb thing is bust. Can't do low carb when you're dirt poor, I've discovered. But I started the Tae-Bo thing today, a friend lent me the videos "for as long as you want." lol

My weight loss has slowed significantly, almost to the point of stopping. I think that's my fault, though, subconsciously. I'm scared to death of loose skin. My family can already see the difference, and I'm only 2lbs away from 50lbs. My arms have apparently become "flabby" because the fat isn't there to fill out the skin anymore, and when I was shaving I noticed this big bulge of skin on my thighs that wasn't there before. And my belly hangs sort of funny. Does anyone have any ideas, or any tips, to prevent it from getting really bad? Sighs.

Hope you all had a good weekend, and have a good week.

Hmm.

Mmkay. I'm officially starting the low carb thing today. Not going totally restricted, not doing the "two week induction" or whatever that most low carb things require... Just keeping it simple. Under 40g/day, I think... Which is a huge step for me, since I usually eat around 150-200 *TWITCH*. No wonder I'm fat. Heh.

Breakfast - 1 cup creamy cucumber salad, coffee w/low carb creamer and splenda.. Lunch - 1 cup homemade chicken salad.. Dinner - half chicken breast, half cup green beans.. Snack - celery w/light ranch dressing.

I've come to a rather startling discovery over the weekend.

A: Too many cookies will make me sick to my stomach upon waking the next day, as will it make me poo a LOT. Highly unpleasant, to say the least. B: It's too quiet without my daughter running about.

That's all. Things are still going ok. I can't weigh because my scale's got a low battery. I think I'm doing all right, though. Hope everyone's having a great memorial day weekend. :)

This week's been nice. I c'n fit into my size 22's with very little difficulty now. My family's impressed with my weight loss thus far. But my little girl has been somewhat of a.... HOLY TERROR since Monday. Don't know what got into her. She's finally calming down now, though. Cheers. Umm... I really don't have a whole lot to say today, so I guess that's it.

Have a good day, everyone!

Liquor is Death! GRR. So... Hubby and I went to hang out with some friends yesterday. Sit around, role play (Yes, I'm a gamer geek), generally have fun. Well, around 9 last night we decided we were done gaming and wanted to party. The only other girl there went to the store and bought a bunch of liquor, and we all sat around drinking and eating chips and pretzel rods and fudge covered oreos and OH MY GOD LAST NIGHT WAS A TOTAL BLOW!!!!!!! Hubby and I ended up not coming home till about 7 this morning, having been up all night (except for the hour nap I got from 5-6) partying. The dd was sound asleep on the futon upstairs, and I did not get drunk, had an average of about 1.5 drinks an hour... But the liquor is EVIL. After I woke up from my nap-at-home (only about 2 and a half hours) I was so dehydrated it was ridiculous. WATER WATER WATER!!! I had a lot of fun, but I'm praying that that's a once-every-six-months thing or I'm not gonna be able to go over there anymore, the temptation is too great. I think I'm doing fairly well otherwise. Today was a gooooooood day. I did housework, mowed, edged the yard, ran a couple of errands, and didn't really have *time* to eat much, so I didn't. LOL! Chicken and veggies marinated in a little olive oil and teryaki, split up over several meals (there was lots of chicken haha).

Well, hope you all had a good weekend!

Kayla! Daaahhhhling! Unfortunately, I am allergic to Ibuprofen (Advil) So I take Alleve. And as for the driving.. I used to love it, till I drove cross country one too many times, now I avoid it whenever possible. LoL! My brother ended up not calling, so I never went to the airport. But I did get a free lunch. My dad took me to Mr Goodcents and I was a baaaaaaad girl. But I don't think one day out of many will count against me too badly. After all, tomorrow is another day. :-D

Sey... Anyone have a 9v battery? My scale died. *pout* I can't find my batteries, either. How depressing. Aah well. I s'pose I'll weigh in a week, when I can get another battery. ARGH! Haha.

I've officially decided to stop measuring. Not stop weighing, though, I'm a little too obsessed with the scale (I know, I know, no lectures please). I'm going to go by my clothing size now, I think. Now I'm in a 22/24, which is better than the 26 I was in, and I have some smaller clothes now that I have as Goal Clothes. I have 1 pair of size 18 pants, and a bunch of size 16 stuff (pants, skirts, and shirts). Let's just keep that stuff around for motivation. And as I grow too small for my old clothes, I'm going to throw them out so I won't be tempted to balloon back out. :-D Well, I'm gonna get outta here, more stuff to do (as usual). Have a good day everyone!

Rawr. I have to go pick up my father from an event and then my brother from the airport. Not looking forward to all that driving. But I lost more weight, so I really can't complain. Heh. Have a good day, everybody.

RAWR. Housework slowing down now. Not so much to do anymore. Guess that means I ought to get back to my exercise regimen, huh? I went and tried on more of the clothes that don't fit... I can now button and zip my size 22's! Last time I wore a size 22 was back in '01 and I weighed 238. Must have put on a good bit of muscle mass. That's encouraging. Very encouraging. :)

Today I'm having some issues standing for long periods of time, I think I hurt my back doing all that cleaning. Trying to do dishes today is a hassle. Wash the dinnerware, take a break. Wash the utensils and pots, take a break. Wash the glasses, take a break. Clean the counters and stove... Done. But... This is my break between pans and glasses. I don't know what's going on, but I'm in some serious pain. *sigh* If it doesn't clear up in a couple of days, going to have to see a doctor. But in the meantime... Maybe I could get a rather welcome break. :)

The kiddo's doing much better today, she's been outside running around a good portion of the afternoon. Hubby also seems to be doing better, hasn't complained about anything today. :) Think I'll get him to pick up the living room tomorrow. hahahaha yeah right.

Have a good day, everybody!

I often wonder if excessive housework counts as exercise. I haven't had the energy to actually exercise because I've been doing so damn much cleaning. Getting the house spotless and all that. And today I've been running around getting things for a sick kid. :( So it's been a very hectic past 2 days. Tomorrow's going to be just as hectic; not only will the kiddo still be sick, but I have about 10 loads of laundry to fold, and still have to clean the bathroom and wash all the bedding. *sigh* Sometimes being a housewife SUCKS. I love my family and I love taking care of them, but occasionally it's just toooooo much. I keep hoping I'll get a callback for employment just so my hubby will take up a share of the housework (even if it's just a small one). It's all I could do to get him to clean off the computer desk, and he didn't even do a thorough job of that. LoL! Aah well, such is the life of a SAHM.

I managed to eat better today. Breakfast: 2/3 cup of ff yogurt Snack: half cup of tomato soup made with water Lunch: garlic fish with half cup of brown rice Dinner: chicken breast with teryaki veggies. Not too bad. Tomorrow will be BETTER. :)

Have a good day, everyone!!!!

I AM THE QUEEN OF NON COMMITMENT. Yes, that's right. I'll keep losing weight, but VERY SLOWLY, if I keep this crap up. I haven't been eating JUNK, but I haven't been eating *right* either. My down home country style cooking is TERRIBLE. I mean... it's yummy, but it's soo bad for me. Hehe. Aah well. I've been religiously watching weight-loss programs (mostly motivational ones), so that gives me a good kick in the rear end occasionally, but... For the most part, I'm having a real difficult time here. *sigh*

Hope everyone else is having a better time of it. :)

On a brighter note, my housework is finally getting done. Yes, by me, even! It's not easy, though, my dh and dd are both slobs. I cannot seem to get them to pick up after themselves. ARGH. I'm going to start taking their toys away if they don't start helping out a bit. I may be a SAHM right now, but that doesn't mean a little contribution isn't nice, right? LoL.

Well, I gotta jet, kitchen floor's probably dry by now. Have a good day, all!

Wow. I lost a pound. Yaay. Uhh... I don't really have much to say right now, so I'm going to leave it at that. Hope ya'll have a good day.

I'm stuck at a plateau. My weight hasn't changed in ... weeks. *sigh* Anybody have any ideas? It's killing me. I *should* be losing weight, but I'm NOT, and it SUCKS.

Going out with dh and dd today, dh is going to enroll in junior college, because the university he was going to enroll in has prerequisites he just doesn't meet. I mean... How many HS students really have at least 1 credit in both the Fine Arts and Foreign Language?? Come on now. It's ridiculous. *sigh* And then this evening we're going over to his parents house. More nice, rich home cooking. I wish I could just *avoid* going over there, but that's not an option. MUST... WORK... ON... WILLPOWER... MUST... RESIST... GRAVY... AND... PIE...!!!!!! Hehe.

Have a good day everybody, and good luck be with all of you!!! Blessings!

Yaay, I'm back to the weight I was before last weekend. Heh. I feel much better now. Hubby's still kinda off, but oh well. I'm a little off myself. I went and put in 2 job applications today.. One for a beauty product wholesailer, and one for Payless Shoes. I think I have the job with Payless. I'd much rather be selling shoes than working behind the counter of some greasy fast food joint. At least shoes don't make you hungry. LOL!

I put on a pair of jeans this morning, that were previously either too tight or fit perfectly. They even fit perfectly last week. Now, much to my amazement, they're too loose. I was so happy about that I almost screamed. Hehe. It didn't hurt my stomach when I bent over to tie my shoelaces. haha. Still looking for those size 22's, though. :-D I haven't measured in awhile, maybe I should go ahead and do that soon. As soon as I find my tape measure again. I'm so disorganized. Gargh.

Ok, so I was shoe shopping, right? That's how I found out that one of the stores in my area was hiring.. So,I'm shoe shopping, trying to find a cheap pair of sandals. CHEAP SANDALS DON'T EXIST ANYMORE!!! I'm a woman on a BUDGET, dammit, and I'm highly irritated by the fact that my sandals are missing and I can't buy new ones. *sigh* Socks are irritating.

Kayla, thank you for (more) words of encouragement (and advice). :) It means a lot to me.

HAVE A GREAT DAY, EVERYONE!

Well, I'm definitely back on track. Hooray. But I still feel all bloated and nasty. I suppose that will go away in time, though. I haven't been getting in all my exercise that I should be, I just haven't felt very good. I donno. I'm applying for a job tomorrow morning, and I have it on good authority that there's an open position, so they can't turn me away saying "Sorry, we don't have any positions available" or any such nonsense. It's with the company my father in law works for, and that my sister in law and mother in law both get their beauty supplies from (they're both salon-types). I really hope I get it, so I can tell Lisa to take her commission cards and shove them. Aah well. I made my own version of shepherd's pie tonight for dinner, and my hubby said it tasted too much like meatloaf. I was like... Duh. It is a "meatloaf" so to speak. Sighs. Why can't things just be easy? I'm so tired, all the time, and my hubby keeps getting angry with me for stupid, stupid shit. And while I'm working my ass off, being the best mother and housewife I can be, he's either playing video games or sleeping when he's not at work. He doesn't actually *do* anything besides go to work. And his job isn't exactly the stressful type. He didn't even curb the trash tonight, which means I have to do it. *sigh* WHY DO MEN SUCK SO MUCH??!! Ok, sorry, done with that little rant. Roxy and Kayla, thank you both for your kind words of encouragement, I do very much appreciate it. Have a good day, everyone.

Mmmkay. Well. I pigged out all weekend. I also played poker drunk on Saturday night. That was an interesting experience. I made $4. Yaay. I also drank too much and got sick. Nobody knew, though. Heh. But Saturday night I ate and ate and ate, and most of the day Sunday I ate and ate and ate. Damn holidays. Why must they tempt me so? Oh well.

I talked to my HR rep and the post is bullshit. Dammit. She didn't have the post anymore when I called today. *sigh* I'm getting tired of being dicked around by these people. I'm looking for another job, starting tomorrow. Grr. *sigh*

Hope you all had a good weekend and a happy mother's day.

I HAVE A POST!! Yes! Today I talked to the HR rep that hired me on to the security company, and she told me she has a weekend post for me, doing patrols for some high-class apartment building downtown. :) I get fitted for my uniforms on Monday. Hooray! I am SO PSYCHED! So happy. :-D But the ONE person who needs to know doesn't yet, because he's SLEEPING. ARGH! I can't wait to tell him. He'll be sooooo happy. We need this so bad. Hehehe :)

My daughter met a couple of the neighbour kids today, she's across the street playing with them right now. Their mom's going to walk her back over when they're done. Looks like the kiddo has some new friends. Hehe. She was pretty happy about that. She kept *begging* me to walk her across the street so she could play with them. The parents seem like nice people. But for Heaven's sake, I can't remember their names! *sighs* I really need to work on this memory problem I seem to have.

I really wish I'd found this website when I first decided to start losing ... To REALLY start losing. Then there'd be some obvious progression instead of just what I say I was. LOL!

Anyway, hope you folks are having as good a day as I am! :):)

OH MY GOSH!!!! Ok. So I put on a bunch of the old clothes I had in reserve... You know the ones I"m talking about. The "too small" "outgrown" ones. My "outgrown" ones fit again!! Cheer! And my too small ones *almost* fit. Another couple inches off the waist, and... voila. I was in a size 26. NOw I"m at a small size 24. Almost to a 22. When I hit a size 20... I'm gonna CELEBRATE!!!!! :) Gonna go out and buy myself some neewwwww clothes. Geez I wish I could get rid of all my elastic waistband stuff. But I can't. Because I don't *own* any smaller clothes except the few that are "too small"... which pretty much involves 2 shirts and 4 pairs of pants. And they're size 22. Oogh. But I was soooo happy when early this afternoon I went to put on a pair of shorts I bought last summer and... they were BAGGY. They were like 4 inches too big! Almost fell off me. Too bad they didn't have beltloops.

I played out in the yard today for somewhere between 30 minutes and an hour, with my hubby and daughter, in the hose. Oh, it was soooo much fun. I'm so glad today was warm enough to do that. Can't wait till my father in law has his swimming pool open. Imma go SWIMMING! Oh boy... I'm gonna need a new swimsuit. My old one just won't cut it anymore. Hmm. *ponders* Aah well.

Sighs. So much to do today. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming. I really don't like housework. I don't think I'm going to do a single damn thing on Sunday except sit and give orders. *giggle*

Does the laundry NEVER END?! I live in a household with only 3 people, yet I have about 5 loads a week average. WHY OH WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED LIKE THIS!!! Laundry is a truly dispicable chore to me. If I never had to do it again, I'd be PERFECTLY happy. Maybe I should hire someone to come in and do laundry once a week. lmao! It's good exercise, though. (Geez I hate to admit that.) Definitely some back strengthening in there... Somewhere... I'm sure. Maybe? Aah well. I started exercising again this morning. Doing my old routine. 8-10 minutes twice a day. Morning and evening. 3 exercises for arms (using 5lb weights), and 3 exercises for the lower body. (leg lifts, pull ins (using a chair) and calf raises.) It seemed to work well enough last time, let's just hope I can keep it UP this time. Bleh.

Sticking to my diet late at night has been hard. Really hard. I'm a night owl, always have been, and I've always liked late-night-munchies. It's going to take some huge adjusting, I think, to get out of that. Argh. Aah well.

WOOOOHOOOO!! I love water weight!! Do you know why I love water weight? Because when you lose it, your *real* weight shines through! I'm so glad I finally lost. I was really afraid I wasn't going anywhere. Was starting to get kind of upset. LoL! Aah well... I shall write more later, but at this moment I have to go spend family time, just wanted to share the good news!

RAAAARARARARAR!!!! Mowing the lawn was so much... FUN!!! We didn't rake after all, because I was out there mowing for almost an hour, and it's starting to rain now. The rain'll turn the cuttings into mulch. More grass to mow. Oh yaay. I'm going to mow the grass every week, save my husband from doing it. He's still going to do the edging, though, I can't bring myself to go near something that could cut my leg off with one slightly wrong move. at least the mower has a blade guard on it. LOL! Mowing is now my new weekend workout.

So... I'm sitting here, eating a small cup of my chicken noodle soup, and I'm thinking to myself... "Gee, self, why do you torture yourself like this? You could get up and move... you saw how much fun it was doing something so simple and mundane as mowing the yard. why the hell don't you get up and do something ELSE?!" And then I reply to myself "Hey... I'm working on it, okay? Mowing the lawn was the first step. A HUGE step, I like to think. So... Self, you can keep nagging at me and make me irritable, or you can lay off a bit, be encouraging instead of nagging, and help me find my way instead of pressuring me." And my response? "Y'know, self, that's a pretty good idea. I'll start SUGGESTING you do these things, instead of nagging at the back of your mind. Maybe that way, you'll actually find some motivation to do them."

I'm going to start weeding later this week. Going to find all the damn dandelions that have infested the edges of my yard, and my walkway, and yank them by the roots. I'm sure my daughter would have a lovely time doing that, since a lot of it is going to consist of digging in the dirt. Hehe! And I"m going to try talking my hubby into playing catch with me every other day. We had a game of catch once that was so intense that it lasted over an hour, and by the time night fell our arms were so sore it was ridiculous. But it was not only a helluva lotta exercise, it was a helluva lotta fun. I'm also making a commitment, right now, to play outside with my daughter more. Walk her down to the park more often. Push her on the neighbour's swing, help her climb the monkey bars on his playset. YES! I WILL HAVE MY LIFE BACK!!!!!

*GULP* I need to work on my willpower. I love myself... but I also love the taste of rich food. HHHEEEEELLLLLLPPP MMMMMEEEEEEEE! Someone magically make ALL my cravings go away!! *sigh*

I'm mowing the lawn tomorrow, perhaps that'll work off a bit of the *mumblegrumbleincoherent* calories I ate today. I need... EXERCISE EQUIPMENT. I can't afford any, though. *cry* I can't afford a gym membership either. Oh woe is me! Being poor sucks. I can't get anything that would make it easy for me to exercise. I have the "ass glued to couch" syndrome lately. I still haven't heard about a post for my new job, so I'm still jobless. I hope whatever I get involves a LOT of walking. Really I do. Stress SUCKS. I'm sure some of you have an idea just how difficult it is trying to REALLY walk with a 5 year old tagging along wanting to stop and look at every little thing. Not that I don't enjoy walking with my daughter, because I DO, very much so... but it just makes it difficult. I think after I mow the grass tomorrow we'll rake it up. *melodramatic sigh* You'd think it would be easier with a diabetic living in the house. ARGH. Sorry.... bitch bitch whine whine moan. Ok, I think I've got that out of my system now. I have to go cook my husband dinner. Rawr. Write later.

Another recipe! This one is made for 2. To make it for 1, just cut all the ingredients in half. An interesting variation on teryaki chicken. This one does have some fat, but it all comes from olive oil, so it's relatively healthy.. and VERY filling, and (according to my husband, who HATES veggies but LOVES this dish) VERY tasty. :)

You will need: 2 boneless skinless trimmed chicken breasts

1 cup each of: green beans, corn, cubed potatoes (frozen fries also work well, as long as they don't have additives)

4TBSP each of: olive oil, teryaki sauce, lime juice

1tsp each of: garlic powder, onion powder, sweet basil, parsley

In a small dish, whisk together wet ingredients and herbs. In a separate pan (baking pan... 2-4qt casserole dish works well for this) place chicken on bottom of dish. layer each around chicken in order: potatoes, corn, green beans.

Pour wet mixture evenly over chicken and vegetables, cover (MUST BE COVERED OR THE CHICKEN DRIES OUT!), bake at 400 degrees for 1 hour.

You can, of course, adjust the herbs to your taste, that just happens to be my fave combination. This makes a terriffic healthy dinner, you only end up eating about a tablespoon of the olive oil, and it's very quick to make, too. Virtually no prep time. It's one of my faves. Created it myself. Tell me what you think!

XOXOXO

WATER RETENTION!!! Why, oh why, must I suffer womanly afflictions?! Ohhh the scale LIES!@!!!!!!@@@!!! Oh well, it'll be over in a week. *sigh*

Breakfast- lowfat cereal bar (strawberry, yum) Lunch- 2 cups romaine/iceberg salad mix, 2.5tbsp light ranch, 1 slice lean ham, 2/3 cup chicken noodle soup. Afternoon snack- green apple. Yuuummmmmy.

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I'll post more low cal recipes soon. :)

Ok, so now... I have a question. How do you manage to *not* be scale obsessed? I know it's unhealthy, but I check every day. I don't get discouraged, necessarily, but it's nice when I do see a drop that I know my diet's actually working, and it's not just in my head. It also provides encouragement, motivation to keep me going. So how do you just... NOT look at the scale? Hmm. *ponders*

Okay. I have a recipe for anyone who wants to use it. This is great because it's exceptionally healthy, and very filling for what it is. It's... *DAAA DADADAAAA* Homemade chicken noodle soup. This has been my saviour a number of times. The recipe I'm giving is for a stockpot, you can modify it as you wish.

1 whole medium yellow or white onion, chopped

3 large carrots, sliced

3 large celery stalks, sliced

add to hot pot with about 2tbsp olive oil, season with salt and pepper, sautee for about 5 minutes.

add 13 cups of chicken boullion/chicken broth (low fat, of course, and low sodium if you don't want a bit of water retention). Bring to a boil, add about a pound of diced chicken breast or breast tenders. They should poach in about the time it takes the veggies to cook (about 10 minutes at a medium boil). Add half a bag of lowfat whole wheat egg noodles, boil till noodles are done (usually about 10 minutes). lower heat, add herbs to taste. I like LOTS of garlic in mine. :)

This serves... As many or as few as you want it to. :) I can't remember the nutritional stats right now, but I'll post them later if anyone wants me to.

If anyone is offended that I posted a recipe, or ya'll would rather I not anymore, let me know.. But I figured this would be a good one to put up because of its relatively low fat and caloric content and high taste content. :):)

"Yaaaeeeeeeessssssss *evil cackle* the carbohydrates WILL be your undoing! You shall eat the homemade chocolate chip cookies you made with your child, and then.... and then you shall feel GUILTY for DAYS! YES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

ARGH. The temptation... It's EVIL! I didn't have a regain (AMAZINGLY enough) but I didn't exactly have a loss either. Sighs. I had about a zillion cookies yesterday. I feel ucky and bloated. But.... Today is another day. :) I think I'm going to start keeping a log of what I eat on my diary, so that you all may punish me accordingly. LoL!!

Everyone, thanks for your tips and support... I know I've only been here a few days, but I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one going through the struggle, and knowing that maybe someone gives a s*** after all. THANK YOU!

P.S. My foot is starting to feel better.. But I think I maybe dislocated that toe, not just sprained it. It doesn't work quite right, and pops every time I walk. It's not discoloured or anything, just... does weird things. Hehe.

RAWR!!! Now my tape measure and scale are both missing. *sigh* I think it has something to do with the kiddo. GRR!!! Hehe. Ok... So, I've decided to try something new with the diet thing. I think I'm going to go low carb. Not totally restricted, just less than I'm doing now (spaghetti... crackers.... white bread... you know, typical carb addict). I've got hyperinsulinism, so cutting back on the carbs will probably help me out quite a bit. Oh boy is it going to be hard, though. I also need to work on the water intake again. Drinking less than I should... my daughter keeps stealing and hiding all my bottles. LoL! Ok.. So I've been doing MONDO laundry for the last 3 days... washing, folding, hanging... I had about 20 loads (Yes, I know, no comments from the peanut gallery). Well... In doing all that, I think I sprained a toe. Or bruised something. Or something. My right foot doesn't work very well today. It HUUURRRRTS!!! Right under my middle toe. I can't walk unless my toes are all scrunched up, or I walk on the side of my foot (which is painful in and of itsself). No aerobic exercise for me today. No cleaning for me today. I hope my hubby does the dishes. Haha yeah right. ;) I s'pose it could be worse. My bed could still be covered in random crapola from the bedroom. Ok, I s'pose that's about it for now. P.S. Sorry I haven't written in awhile, I've been REALLY focused on laundry, and haven't been on the computer at all. In other news: Ugh. I'm supposed to start work as a Security Officer soon. I got my SO commission card for Missouri yesterday, and now I have to get my SO commission card for Kansas. The Kansas computer was down, so I have to go back tomorrow to get my picture and fingerprints and everything. Sighs. And the HR rep who told me to get it done as quick as possible didn't tell me she didn't have a post for me, so now I have to wait for a post to open up. I really REALLY need this job. I hope something comes up soon!!!!! Loves everybody!

Found my tape measure. Oh gods... I think I want to shoot myself. I didn't even put in my arm and thigh measurements. I think I'll wait awhile. *twitch* And for those wondering why I don't have a bio... It won't save it. I haven't a clue why, but I'll keep trying!

Ok... So I still haven't found my tape measure. Grr. And the water weight is falling off VERY fast. It can be so deceiving sometimes! Too bad it's not *real* weight yet. *sigh* So here's my plan: I eat between 1000 and 1200 calories a day, usually split up between 4 small meals (I can't bring myself to eat any more than 4 times a day, I'm sorry). I drink a WHOLE LOT of water (5-6 24oz bottles minimum). I don't really watch fat or carb intake, I just try to make sure what I'm eating is healthy. I mean, who doesn't love a plate of spaghetti with a piece of garlic bread? :) I also exercise twice every other day, 10 min in the morning and 10 in the evening, and then every odd day it's just 10 min in the morning. I'll start doing more when my knees and back are ready. Hehe! I also run around aft