Goodmorning all! I figured out why my whole world was crashing in on me... My mother and I are kind of partners in this barber shop and I thought it would be helpful money wise if I handed it over to her and I just cut the hair... well for all you control freeks... that was a calossal bad idea... and I had a few other things going on at the same time so as to hide the idea of why I was feeling so alful... I thought it was because my daughter was at camp...then she came back and it was only getting worse...then I thought it was the seeing the silly boyfriend ...every single fricken day... but that didn't seem to fit either... then yesterday while contemplating killing everyone I meet when it hit me... I handed the money and the bills over and I was feeling like I was driving down the freeway with someones hands over my eyes... and I yanked the bills and money back so fast made my poor mom's head snap... I sat down figured out what she had done... scrapped it re did it... and I am back to super fired up about life and I have only ditched the gym three days out of 90... I am thinking I have not jumped ship... so anyway Kayla is back at her post! everyone have a great day!-Kayla

I am back... and I am having a bad-Kayla week! I am eating right and I am going to the gym... but I am hating everything so I am going to start back at the beginning...the problem with being a super up person...is when you are down... it really eats your lunch... I am living a lunch-less past 8 days see me soon

day 4

Goodmorning...anyone see what happened? somewhere my nice orderly life just flew out of control... isn't that something... one minute your just happy as pie plodding along and then waham bamb you lose 40 pounds and your life is on a roller-coaster...this whole boyfriend business... take a crap load of time...well super hero's ... I did it... after 81 days in a row... I took a day off from the gym... so now I am 3 days in a row... I must tell you all... I am thinking I might do it again too! My daughter just left for camp on sunday... I am so lost...who will i boss around? who will take out the trash?... ooooooooh my! who will talk back? sniff my life has no meaning until Saturday... she called last night and was so fired up it would seem they are riding horses...and swimming ... and getting dressed up for dinner... sigh... really big sigh... sniff... my sweet little girl is becoming a delightful young woman... who swipped all my make-up...when my daughter was just a "bun in the oven" this old old...creepy man gave me two pieces of advice that I have used these past 15 years...and now I am going to share them with all of yous... he said...listen up here you... I am gonna give you two pieces advice...number one... don't be like those parents who hate their children and say terrible two's and crap(he said the sh word) like that... he said... each age gets better than the last and don't miss any of them stages... and the second piece of advice is don't take nobodys advice...God gave you that kid and everything you would need to raise it right... so if that stupid lady down the street tells you her brat was potty trained at 11 months tell her to shut up and mind her own business... your baby will do things when the times right... well this same may patted my bottom in what can only give me the shivers...but I have taken that advice... and each stage has gotten better than the last... and I would not rush any of them... I have loved being her mother for over 15 years and I am so very proud of her! she really is the very best thing in my life! EMEBRACE YOUR LIFES! -Kayla

day 80! Last night I took my daughter to the circus.... what a bunch of clowns... What I think is funny is that this guy thought he was really doing something because he sat on a chair up on a "high wire"... well if he really wanted to show me something...he could have played a single mother of a teen...owning a fledgling business... dating a very needy man... squeezing 13 cents in his palm and making 37 cents fall out ... finding 365 diffrent ways to cook a chicken... while making his checkbook come to within $3 of matching to the banks numbers... now that is a balancing act... and sure they made three elephants hold each others tails...but could they potty train a dog?... find their keys?... help his daughter get a 4.0 gph...all the while embracing life with both hands...they should have given me $16.00 and I would show them a real balancing act... someone get me the shriners phone number! I think I have a show stopping act! okay sure the costumes are not quit as flashy... and they had some really cool birds...and my nose is not big and red...I am not sure if I am just really hard to impress or I just might be a really hard act to follow.... well now that I have almost wrenched my arm out of its socket patting me on the back! and I am sure everyone has a ringing in their ears from me blowing my own horn...So, I would love to hear how you guys are a super hard act to follow! REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!!!! AND LADY'S TAKE A BOW!! MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU TOO!

well today is day 79...and thats just cool! I saw some people I have not seen in two weeks and they said...WOW!...Ya just got to love the WOW's when ya get them! everyone remember EVERYONE FIGHTS NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

...78 days... well my bottom is dragging on the floor...this dating crap is a lot of work... I just need two more hours in my day... I really don't think that is asking to much... the poor guy is now dating a cranky, sharpe tounged, somewhat haggared woman... and well now thats what three kinds of sweetness... the lucky man... well lets see where can i get those two hours from... Someone want to point me to the line I need to stand in to get them two hours...hmmm ...I could take it from the laundry... whats a little stink... which might cure that whole dating problem in the near future... and who really needs to clean the bathroom...everyday?...and the speed "limit" really is more of a guideline than a hard rule..right?...EVERYONE EMBRACE THE DAY...I am going to go take a nap...-Kayla

wow 77 days... I can now divide my days by 7... or 10... or 3.5... why you would want to I have no idea... I was at the super market yesterday and I was in the candy isle trying to figure out how to cram stickers into the fruit catigory... because someone said I need antioxidants... which is a word I had to look up... and although coco comes from a bean and peanuts are not soooo bad for you... I did not see how it could be classified as :a substance that inhibits oxidation or teactions promoted by oxygen or peroxides... so of course I got it anyway... but I got some oranges... I would have gotten apples...but Heaven knows... I would not mind marring a doctor and we don't want apples to be what kept Mr. Doctor-Right... anyway everyone remember EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

day 76... I started about a week ago every other day adding the ab machines... the easy ones...and oh my I woke up this morning... smaller tummy!!! This adventure is way to much fun!! who could have imagined? I was putting my socks on this morning...mostly because my shoes smell like week old road kill if I don't ...well yahoooo! it was a piece of cake! I have figured out how eating ever two hours works... I got two loafs of 100% whole wheat breat...two packs of turkey lunch meat...two packs of kraft fatfree cheese...and the really good mustard... I made up 16 sandwiches I also got the snack size lunch baggies...then I slice them into thirds... they come up to 120 calories each lunch time I have an extra one...I also got the varity pack of rice crispy treats...cut them in half and they are just 50 calories... and dinner I eat anything I want... soon I will eat the bigger meal at lunch... but for now...thats the plan... this is really the most fun I have ever had... ever... REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

Today is day 75 in a row to the gym... I just came out of a bit of a slump... I have a new revelation... I am seeing this man... I am not really crazy about him...but like many of the childhood abused... I don't know if I don't really care for him or if I am just numb from the damage of before... so I am dating him... and also being the queen of passive agressive behavior... I started over eating... I still went to the gym but I just started eating ... a lot ... like an extra 1500 calories... I did this not really know I was doing it...I did this because I dont want to really commit to this guy... It dawned on me what I was doing... instead of using my mouth to set boundaries, I was using weight to do it for me... I am so very greatful I caught this inside of three days... So I am accepting the flowers... and the dates ... and I am not going to marry this man but I am going to date him for a while... I know that all sounds very selfcentered...but I don't naturally feel this way so I am having to develop this crap called self esteem and that other stuff...called self worth... so today I walked an extra half hour and I went shopping and purchased everything I need to eat light again... So today I am not funny or flip... I am determined... and greatful...So Super Hero's The fight just got interesting! -kayla

day 74...everyone have a great day!

day 73... My bottom is really dragging on the ground!-Kayla

Well it would seem today is day 72... At the gym there is a sweet boy that I use to call "blinking boy"... 72 days worth of waving my hand infront of his eyes to see if anyone is really in there... apparently there is... sweet...slow...boy... well he was cleaning near my treadmill and I like to close my eyes when really really good songs come on... and just feel the music wrapping it's way around my soul... well Linda Ronstadt was just hitting that note that lifts my heart to great hights of joy...when I opened my eyes... and like a big body-less head he was leaning up over the front of my treadmill... I almost fell off the treadmill... I screemed! and I think little blinking boy is going to hell... I might just buy his ticket... He laughed so hard he had to sit down...Now this happened yesterday... so this morning I was leaving the gym and the front counter was empty...which is normal...blinking boy is often off cleaning something or scaring the snot out of perfectly nice women...trying to knock them off their treadmills... well as I went through the second glass doors... yes yes blinking boy leeps infront of the door ... causing yet another scream... and an almost falling off my...not treadmill, but my legs... since I had refilled my water bottle... I dumped almost half of it down the front of him... when I walked away he was looking down at the front of his dockers... it looked like he had wet himself... you know there really is a balance in the univers... REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

Well it would seem today is day 71 in a row... what a wonderful life we have! Who knew that our life could be filled with such sweet things... I am sitting her watching the sun go up... with a piping hot cup of tea... Linda Ronstadt singing in the back ground... in all my life I have never understood what people ment when they said...I wish time would stop right here... I understand that...I know great unexplicable wonders wait for me tomorrow...but today is so presious I am in no great hurry for tomorrow... it truely will take care of itself... So fellow super hero's...EMBRACE THE DAY WITH BOTH HANDS HOLD ON AND DON'T LET A SINGLE DROP SLIP AWAY!-Kayla

Well Today was day 70 going to the gym in a row... I must confess... this morning I was week... I got on the scale at the gym... anyone want to guess who is down another 22 pounds? Thats right for all of you keeping score that is a grand total of 43 pounds! The other day I was playing e-mail tag with my best-guy-friend and he said... "hummmm not eating near toxic levels of food...and you feel better, who could have imagined"... he is such a sweet talker...REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP! -Kayla

Today is day 68... Happy 4th! See ya's Monday-Kayla

day 67 I didn't want to go...but I did... Yesterday I was popping into peoples diarys...and I read what someone had written to Sarahbeth... and I felt so many many things discouraged was on the top of the list... It also made me angry... and then I thought I have also done this... so to all that I stuck my nose in your business and discouraged you I am truely sorry. I will keep my comments to myself...if anyone wishes my oppionions you are going to have to ask... I am so sorry for what those foolish girls said... and for the things I have said. -Kayla

day 66 to the gym... I think I might have figured out a going to the gym truth... I go and I workout...but I only go a few steps past my comfort zone... I think that a lot of people fight to go to the gym because it is a painful experience so every day is no fun... I walk at 1.9 mile per hour...which is pretty slow... and when running chick is on the tredmil next to me it is hard not to ramp it up... but I have a crap load more to hold while walking... when I am as slim as running chick I plan on running to... so often we think it should hurt... no I do not believe so ...it always has before and I would quit... now I spend a whole hour with the fan on me ... and it is fun and it is working so I want to share this truth... I was afraid of what people would think of me walking so slowly... then I thought well they already think I am super fat... what more could they think worse of me... but now most of them have to stop at my machine and say g'morning or kid with me a little ... and people choose to stand next to me ... something about being fun...or funny... I need to take better notes... this morning the guy got on next to me...said he was going to walk 15 minutes he stayed until I was done with my hour 45 minutes later... Which leads me to my second truth... the world is full of desperately lonely people and with a smile and a friendly word you can become the most popular person ..big or small... Evil and unfriendly people will always be around and they don't make my radar... but the rest of "mankind" loves the person willing to give them the smile and the friendly word... I have always wanted to be "popular" thinking it had so much to do with my weight... nope has nothing to do with it... it really has everything to do with listening...smiling... and a friendly word! Every day I think this life cannot get any better...and with the dawn... it gets even better! I am so very greatful for all of you on the diaries! You all have helped me so much! It makes my day getting on here and flapping my lips... I know I know its typing... but I move my lips while I type so... its all good!

This fight we all are in for our life is very exciting! wounds heal... and victory is so very sweet! So grab up your swords, and let us enter into the fray! EVERYONE FIGHTS... NOBODY GIVES UP...AND NOBODY IS LEFT BEHIND! -Kayla

Day 65... I do not know how to express my feelings of Joy and Greatfulness... I have found an inexpressible Joy! I now understand what a slave I was... and now I understand what it is to be set free! I wish everyone could grasp this! ...and it just keeps getting better! I have never been so happy and comfortable in my own body! I for the very first time in my life... am glad to be me... Who knew? yes my body is getting smaller... and I am also getting healthier... but it is so very much more than that... I wish I could pour this into everyone! This must be LIFE! I am so very very grateful to living it! EMBRACE THIS LIFE! -Kayla

Goodmorning all! well today finds us on day 64 to the gym... Last night Katelynn and I went over to a place some of my friends like to hang out and tell fish storys... well while listening to this man's life story I clasped my hands together... and oh my! they were smaller... I reached over and took my daughers hand and with the indulgent smile of a teen who knows everything she squeezed my hand back then her eyes registered...then she shouted... MOM YOUR HAND IS SMALLER! what a great kid! now the down side to that is Mr. Cry-in-his-beer had to start his entire really long...really depressing story ...over... but really it was small price to have noticed the whole hand business! I love playing what I have now come to think of as "body bingo!" every morning...because they say any body shrinking is going to happen while you sleep...its the bodys recovery and ajusting time...so in the morning I take inventory...sometimes with a mirror...but mostly by feel... seeing is fun...but it's a lot easier not to see how much more I have to go if I go by touch... things are flatter...smaller... mushier...I am not sure if mushier is good but it beats the snot out of feeling like my skin is going to split!

I have been asked how I remain up... well I don't life eats my lunch as much anyone else... but I do believe what ever you focus on is what grows... If all you focus on are the pits...you don't enjoy the peach! Life sends us big heart ach... and there is little we can do to stop that... I could not for the life of me Make the man of my dreams fall in love with me... and if I sat in a dark room and really did some serious broodding I bet I could really work up some serious depression... but in the end he would still not love me...and I would be missirable to boot... I don't believe in stuffing feelings or numbing out to them either... but I also believe I am the one in control. I will not waste one more second being recreationaly miserable! I have been the queen of feel sorry for myself...I could have wrapped up my style in a handy two c.d. package and sold it on an info-mercials I was that good at it... but life keeps going... and I wont foolishly waste it again... so yes I get down... anyone who has followed my crazy entrys know I have battled my demons... the sun will rise... and it owes me a new day! and when I decided that I was the source of my unhappiness ...I also found I was the source of great happiness... because all of it really is a choice...because I do not believe in abortion people think I don't believe in choice! Nothing could be further form the truth... its all about choice! I choose to EMBRACE IT ALL... every small step... every heart ach... and yes every bite... our fight is not against food or going to the gym... it is a fight agains hate...and sorrow... the lies... If God created the entire universe for me to discover... I must be pretty important! So I will be greatful! and the best way to show God I am greatful is to be happy! REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS! NOBODY GIVES UP! -Kayla

It is day 63 in a row! I have coffee with my mother every morning... and every day she is an encouragement to me... I know I can do this because my mom believes in me... I would like to hear who is encouraging you! REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

I went to the gym yesterday and today... I thought I had put in yesterdays entry... I am a boundry setting fool! a cleint of mine came in and we danced in the barber shop... now I know for men... touching a woman anywhere is pretty much the "go" button for sex... but I am all about honoring me... so we danced... and when he pushed for more... I sweetly said...no! How cool is that...and we danced! I was still smarting from the guy friend on friday that this sauved my hurting heart... now I am back on top! it is really amazing to be a powerfully Joy-filled woman!-Kayla

day 60 finds me greatful and filled with a facination... never in my life have I enjoyed life so much... going to the gym is good... not eating my own weight in Pizza...is good too... but embracing life...the good the bad the heart ach... all of it is filled with wounder! Yesterday my heart was broken... OH MY GOD! I would not miss this for nothing... I have spent my entire life hiding from feelings... they are so very wounderful... I cannot tell you when I have felt so sad... and happy... and I know this must sound like I need to go find some time at the padded-room hotel...but I am not dead inside! Even pain is good when you have felt nothing for many years... I love being a woman! and thats a new thing! not that I wanted to change... I just didn't care... now I LOVE BEING A WOMAN! We are wounderful! we work hard we love deeply we are powerful...life begins with us! wowowowow! EVERYONE EMBRACE THIS LIFE!-Kayla

I just need to talk something out... today I talked to the man I could see myself growing old with... he has never said anything that might make me think he cared for me any more than a close friend...I did not know he was in love with someone else and today he told he did have someone... and a little part of me died inside... but I must tell all of you if that is what it takes for him to be happy then I would never trade places with her because I do want him to be as happy as he can be I guess that would be true love. my heart is very sad for me but very happy because this man truely deserves to be happy! He is a facinating man and when we are together I enjoy every single word we share, and I hang on his ever e-mail... I have woundered what being the woman whom is apart of his life would be like... but as it seems it is not ment to be... I will cherish our friendship. I am just going to say it ...she is a very very lucky woman to have his love...all you women who have husbands that love you count your blessings... count them out loud and count them often! EMBRACE LIFE! EVEN WHEN IT GUT-CHECKS YOU! HOLD ON EVEN TIGHTER!-Kayla

is that right? has it really been 59 days in a row going to the gym? How could this be? all this really did start with just one little baby step... and now I am at 59 days in a row... and the world looks so much more...more... the greens are greener... the blues... well this is washington...so the blues are grayer... I am beginning to enjoy and this is a shocker...the heat! my teeth are whiter... I read somewhere that "all carbonation" bocks our ability to motabolize fat... well I had a long talk with my fat and we both agreed that soda had to go... so I went and got my last soda pop... and I just could not drink it... I kept hearing the word motabolize... what a fun word... and then I took a sip of my diet a&w soda which is arguabley the best diet soda in the entire world... and it burned my mouth... and I thought... why do I drink this stuff anyway... and I got to thinking... you know what a bunch of liars the soda people really are... they put "diet" on the can but it stops you from loosing weight... so being a 6 to 10 "diet" soda drinker a day... I was angry! and I felt duped... I hate to play the part of the fool... so I have been soda pop free since day three of this 59 days... so that is why my teeth are whiter... my eyes seem to be working better or I just don't like the hazes I use to be looking threw... or maybe I am seeing more than just those big golden arches... Who knew that life could be so full of such wounder? EVERYONE EMBRACE LIFE! -Kayla

day 58! I over slept today! for some that might be like a bad thing...for me its a SLEEP IN DAY!!!! I didn't get out of bed till 5:30! I am so rested I have been ROCKIN all day! I have been cleaning under stuff I am so fired up! did you all know that dirt gets under stuff? how does dirt get under stuff! I think someone must come in here after I have gone for the day and shoves dirt under stuff just so I have something to do... because like all of you I don't have enough in my day to fill up all 37 hours...oh wait there are only 24 hours in the day... that explains why my butt some times drags on the ground and I don't know about all of you but I hate it when it does that... all the stuff I have to pick out of such a tender place...gravel...hubcaps...small household pets... anyway I really enjoyed all your comments! thank you(s) REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP EVEN WHEN YOU SOME HOW GET DIRT UNDER STUFF!-Kayla

Goodmorning all you super hero's! Well yesterday I went to the Doctors and I hopped up on the scale... then I turned to my audience because I know all the staff and I turned around and said... WAIT! I MUST TAKE OFF MY SHOES! so they backed up and let me take off my shoes... and so I stepped up to the scale I first slide it to the weight I was last time I was in... and the weight bar clunked so I slowly began pushing it to the left... first two pounds...then three then five then eight then i began smiling... then twelve then fifteen then eighteen it had lifted a little so I slowly poked it nineteen pounds then twenty and finaly it was balanced at twenty-one pounds gone. I had lost in thirty-four days twenty-one pounds... everyone cheered...I got hugged by a man I had never seen before! bonus! Everyone EMBRACE LIFE!-Kayla

My daughter burned me another cd... well its the same cd...new music... and I used it yesterday and it was just "ok" but this morning it was fabulous! there were two songs I had to repeat 3 or 6 times! I had to dance walk to them! Today I go to the doctors! I have great hopes that everything is better... I have had to drop my insulin way down because I kept bottoming out...huh... thats what happens when you stop eating whole pizza's... who knew... anyone want to guess who had to shorten the seatbelt in the car?... I have a new part of phisical activity I have added to my day it's called... so you dropped it, don't just kick it under something... its a duzy! now I am not to the point to where I am dropping things on purpous yet.... but lucky for me... I drop a crap load of stuff... again and again...and again... It is good to be out of the "funk" I am here to tell you all that the "funk" is no place to hang out! its like hanging out in a barn...before its been mucked out... it's just poopy! everyone embrace the day!-Kayla

Howdy all... I am almost out of my funk! Yesterday I tried something diffrent at the gym...I went for calories instead of time or miles... yikes... gasp! I thought I would died... today I went back to just 42 minutes... and I didn't die! yesterday I was feeling self-destructive... and I had planned on eating my brains out... but I was foiled by having cleaned all the bad foods out of my cupboards and fridge... so I ate till I could hardly breath... and for the day I ate about 2500 calories ... which is my daily goal... so I didn't clean nothing! and boy did that show me! Artificial happiness is a lot more fun than all this feeling feelings crap... but here I am 4 days later and it's getting a little better... I keep chanting... and this too shall pass...and this too shall pass and ... this is taking to damn long...and this too shall pass... I am still in the fight... so I will stand back up and yell... EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!! GASP... and again with a little more strength...EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!!! -Kayla

day 53

Today is day 52 and I am damaged by yesterday... its funny how the bad behavior of others is what will set me off to treating myself badly... I did a little I went home after the "thing" and I ate two and a half cups of mixed vegys and an 1 serving of cookies and... then I realized what I was doing and I went to my bedroom and turned on the ac and let the feelings wash over me... a man who likes me came in and was drunk... you know that kind of drunk that thinks he is soooo funny but you know anything will set them off to being super violent... my daughter was with me...I sent her to the restaurant next store... it was alful I finaly got him out... then I felt the need to mistreat me... I stopped but am still in a funk... I did go to the gym... I will be better... I am not right now... -Kayla

Howdy all today is day 51... I feel like I am riding on that boat form charley and the chocolate... like this is going out of control...where will it end... I found out that if you burn 3600 calories more than you take in you loose one pound and that is accumulative... I have also found out that just to have my heart beat on the organs to function I have to take in 2467 calories every day... and I have also found that if I don't get at least that many the next day all I can do is think of food and I eat everything in sight... I have also found out that I will not really eat all that much more than I didn't get the day before! all this time I thought I was just some big fat looser who just didn't have any self-control but I just didn't understand ... now I have a new understanding... I have been asked how much I have lost... and I to am dieing to know but I cannot get on the scale until I go to the doctors in two weeks... I made a deal with myself not to because I tend to use numbers... a lot to judge me with... and I seldom come out the winner when it comes to the judging... but some of the changes I can tell you about are... I ware this bracelet... I don't really ware it because I love it... the clasp is stuck... so I cannot get it off without breaking it... well anyway it slides now...there for a while I thought it would choke my hand off... my boobies are getting smaller... my bottom seems to be taking up less room in the car... My big tummy doesn't touch the sterring wheel anymore... this one is my favorit... I now pick up nickels... when you are super fat if you see a penny on the ground you say... na I just don't need the money that bad... well I still don't need the penny that bad... 51 days ago... I would have bent over for a $10.00 bill... now I will do it for a nickel... soon I will be picking up the penny's... I am thinking I now know why penny's are considered good luck! ever so often I will touch something and have to smile... I way laying in bed last night and I reached up and touched that place between my boobies... it would seem it is called a sternum ... well you guys are never going to believe this... I hit bone... and it went a lot further down my chest that I think it ever has... so it was covered with a great deal of fat... or and this is the one I am believing...I am growing new bones! all this is so very exciting!! I have also found out that there are good days and there are not so good days...and then there are some bone crushing horror filled days... but like breathing I see that I owe me going to the gym... and good food... and I really owe me a healthy body! REMEMBER EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

I just cannot believe it has been 50 days! I just love this!-Kayla

Today is day 49 in a row! I do not know when I have felt this good in my entire life! EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP!-Kayla

Yikes I am glad that was just a feeling! I am back to not pushing old people down! And I am feeling much better! Today is day 48 to the gym I have added some weight training to my tredmilling... and in three days I can already feel some diffrences...like ooooooooh my aching body! and can somebody please tie my shoe for me... just kidding I don't really need to wear shoes... and sock... underpants... all optional... all the way to work I was apologizing to my body telling it how very sorry I am and begging it to move when it became time to get out of the car! all it would do is smack me in the head... I really do deserve that... anyway everyone keep on fighting the good fight!-Kayla

I deleted this entry... and may I say I am so very sorry for all the old men I may or may not have offended!-Kayla

wow 46 days in a row! this is very exciting! if I don't mention my gym days its up in the left had corner were weight is... How come nobody told me that those pepperoiny sticks have like 1200 calories... no wonder I am so fat...I use to eat like 8-10 of those a day... I may sue! all keep fighting!-Kayla

Howdy all! I have been hanging out on fitday.com and boy is that a lot of fun! ever so often I go on and see that my eating is getting higher than my activitie level so I look on the list of things you can do to boost it up and well lets just say my house has never looked so clean... you know you burn calories washing the dishes? and some for standing around talking on the phone... well I don't like to talk on the phone...so I pretend... I have some of my best conversations... pretending! anyway I hope everyone is loving this life...and sucking every single drop of joy out of every single moment!-Kayla

PS... I have been going to the gym... I post my days in a row up on my weight stats...all have a great day!-K

Gooodmorning all what a wounderful life we have! Who knew I was the cause of all my own heart ach... and I could also be the cause of all my own happiness... who new that getting on my own team would make playing more fun... embrace life!-Kayla

Anyone know what they were doing at this exact minute 15 years ago? No? Well I way laying in a hospital bed thinking maybe getting pregnate 9 months earlier was not one of the wisest moves that I had made... have no fear ... when they let me hold her... and I was pretty shocked that they were going to "let" me hold such a tiny, perfect little girl... I was thinking if they knew what a screw-up I was they would never "let" me hold this perfectly made little girl...now I often tell her the reason I had her was to have someone to take out the trash... which in the beginning was the plan...then those whole first two years kind had that plan backfire...boy babys cause some really smelly trash... and a crap load of it too (two points if you get that joke)... and she refused to even think about taking out the trash for many years after that hospital stay... well it would seem that I have blinked 3 and a half times and she is now 15 today... If you have met my daughter you have met everything that I love! and incase anyone is keeping score...she now takes out the trash! Rememeber everyone....EVERYONE FIGHTS AND NOBODY GIVES UP! AND WHEN YOU DO NOT THINK YOU CAN FIGHT ANYMORE GET UP AND FIGHT!!!-Kayla

Ever think... you know I probably should not eat this... because it is an oyster... which is flem of the sea... but there is just something kind of evil and just a little gross in some of us that says... I know I am eating its brains and its organs...and its bowels... but I don't care I am going to eat this sucker and tomorrow when I am feeling pretty sick to my stomach... I wont blaim me...well sports fans and fellow super heros... it is now tomorrow and I am thinking the oysters were a bad idea!-Kayla