Comment left by pastagal on 05/30/2001: Yes try not to think of what your doing as a Diet,,,,but as just a way of life now,,and be consistant and take it slow ONE day at a time and you will succeed,,,have a wonderful day ok;}}

Comment left by mommyof two on 05/30/2001: hello, and i thought you werin new york lol . welcome to the site. you,ll love it here. i do. i,m sorry to hear of your divorce. i hope your ok about it. if you need a ear , i,m her for ya. well, good luck with your new way of eating....lisa

Comment left by Kyrin on 05/30/2001: Hi Ginny!

It's easy to become consumed with the nutritional end of your lifestyle change...if, as you suspect, there isn't a physical and spiritual balance in the lifestyle. Try using a food log to note your food choices--as you make them. I find that I don't obsess about my menus if I make good choices all day long. ...and it's better practice, too.

So, what are you going to add to your lifestyle that will get the focus off of nutrition? {grin} Can't wait to see what interests you.

Hugs!

By the Way...TN yankee? Where in Tennessee now? I have family in Kingsport....and am from Rochester, NY originally. I'm a TN Yankee in Alabama.

Comment left by Rader on 05/30/2001: Hi!
I have often thought that my thinking of food, what to eat, what I ate, etc was an obvious sign I was letting it run my life too much. Here's some ideas, don't know if they'll help much, because I still think about it all the time, but really in a positive way!

1. Check out www.fitday.com
You can type in the foods you ate, and it gives back calories, fat grams, protein grams, carbohydrate grams, and other nutrients if that's a concern. I think it's great because it's allowed me to find out what foods have high calories (and quit eating them) and find out what foods have low calories. (and stock up on them)

Also it allows me to think less about how "much" i've eaten or what I should eat later, since the numbers kind of do the thinking for me.

2. After step one, I then loaded up on low calorie foods that I liked. For me, taste isn't the driving force behind my bad eating. Getting full was always my thing. So I might be lucky that I can do away with candy & other good foods, but I couldn't do away with the hearty appetite. So things I munch on after a meal if I'm not completely full: Boiled eggs (only the whites, since they have only 19 calories each), raw broccoli, califlower, and cucumbers. Lots of mustard and salsa to make certain foods better since they both have very little calories. And a Fat Free Zesty Italian dressing. Only 15 calories for 2 tablespoons, and it's the only low-cal dressing that I actually think tastes good.

3. Throw out all your food and only buy good food. This allows a much harder way to cheat. You have to double-cheat. First you have to buy it at the grocery store, and then you have to eat it. However, this might not work for you since you have kids at home.

Oh well, i ramble on and on

Comment left by BBDOLL on 05/30/2001: Here's a thought: choose a set of standard lunches, dinners, breakfasts, and snacks (also determine their portions and make sure they are balanced for carbs/fat/protein/veg intake). Then each day, you get to pick out a meal like it's on a menu. You will mostly get the same volume of food each day, and you get to not fret like crazy over what is ok. You'll know it's a meal from the list. For example, lunches can be: tuna on wheat with apple and carrots for dipping or salad of beans an egg and an assortment of fresh veg and lowfat dressing, followed by a small hot cocoa and a plum or nectarine or turkey sandwich with mustard, cup of berries or peach, and a cup of skim milk or..

do you get my drift? any of these is amazingly healthy, not exactly hard to find OR think up, and you'll be safe without counting each grape you consume. This works well, until you get to the last 10 pounds, then it's a whole new ballgame usually. But if you have much to lose, staying with a positive attitude is more important than obsessing over totals.

Good Luck!

Comment left by thatmochagirl on 05/30/2001: My biggest suggestion to you is to remind yourself that it is 'THREE MEALS A DAY AND LIFE IN BETWEEN'. The next suggestion is to take time to think about what gives you joy ...what hobbie makes you the happiest... After that try and get back to doing a hobbie that will keep you busy. The busier you are the less time to think about food.. Remember that you also need a plan... Take care huin.. T

Comment left by pushedtothewall on 05/30/2001: Hello again! Glad to see you here :) You talked about a subject that is just a constant problem for most of the eater types in the world. We who enjoy eating, the socialness of it, the reward of it, the taste of it, the comfort of it, the mindless habit of it... well, I think it is so accident that food, meals, tastebud treats somehow mean more to us than some others; we are seduced by them the way are by power or some are by control and discipline and the way some are with chemical dependency. Add to that the natural biology of needing to eat to stay alive and the strong urge nature gives us in that way to keep us alive. All of that totals up to a natural situation for us of nearly and absolutely obsessing about food. We are telling ourselves in private and here at our site that it is our way of life and not a diet. We read and are told and accept that this is correct. Yet we continue to obsess. I am thinking that for some of us it will always be a type of obsession, the same way that chemically dependent people are only one step from disaster and need to take special care at all times of the situations that they put themselves in. We have to guard ourselves when we can and perhaps slowly we do actually internalize it all. Perhaps we learn a second-naturedness about it and it is not foremost in our conscience minds at all times with that tugging.... well, what a lot of words in answer to your question :) I am just wandering in my own mind, thinking as I go and trying to find ways to distract my own obsessions. I didn't mean to put it all onto you! I am happy though, to read that you are doing well. I have had amazing successes in a short time here. I have a LONG history of failing at this area of life. Like you, I long for the day when I can do things with greater ease... when life can be fuller because I am out there in the center of it! So, I think that I am one who can relate to your present situation. I had a neighbor who weighed over 500 pounds. She was in her thirties and diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Her doctor told her that if she didn't stop eating and get up on her feet she would be dead in a few short months or years. I heard about this and I frantically tried to think of some way to engage this woman in life. I visited her and discovered that she could walk only from room to room before she needed to rest. She could not hold her bladder in check with movement and had to just "go" as she walked. I wanted to shun her almost because her situation was so extreme. Yet, it came to pass that I invited myself over for visits spaced a few hours apart whenever I could and I "walked" her. She had to carry a towel at all times to wipe sweat! Soon she was trying to diet where she could (two eggs instead of six!) in the morning. I called around and found a scale at the county fair grounds where the cattle weighed. I got a key for that stall and I took her there in a specially made wheel chair.... she weighed there in abject humiliation, but she had some spirit coming from somewhere. Soon she agreed to walk with me out of doors, but she didn't want to be seen and I agreed to set my alarm and walk with her at midnight in our small town. That went on and on like that by degrees until she weighed 300 pounds at the end of a year. Her doctor took pity on her and even though she was on Disability and Medicaid, she found a way for the state to pay for this gal to have surgery to have lots of excess and abused skin removed at the University hospital She came home weighing 253 pounds. Exactly what I weighed when I came to this site, and that was a bit daunting! Then she bought a huge gym for herself with the money her parents sent her as a gift to buy a new wardrobe. She assembled it all herself and worked so hard. After that I was able to meet the real woman that beat inside her heart. She was able to buy clothes that expressed her personality and I watched as she marched in a parade in our little town with a group of children that she taught in Sunday School. She took her first trip by jet and went to college and discovered that she loved to sculp! She hung out with people young and old and could always be counted on to volunteer. Then one day her Social Security Disabiity review came up and she was found suitable for work and I watched in horror and in tears as all of those pounds creeped back up. She was just fearful of the workplace. Talented, able , beautiful and slim, she just was afraid of something. Today she is close to 400 pounds, but knowing that she is legitimately "disabled" she shines in being public out in the world. She is still very tired easily and just struggling but she does it anyway. Once she began a life outside of her small one, she blossomed. With her I can say that weight does not hold her back from any activity that she sets her mind to. For myself, I am shy, so while there are endless possibilities that I COULD physically do, I just can't release myself from within. How are you in those areas, Ginny? Are you able? Are you shy? It is possible to do great things, things not even we thought that we could do, heavy OR slim, right NOW! Think of those other factors. It IS good to have more in life than just the job and the kids' lives. I wish that we were neighbors! I will give you a little peace now :) Your new friend, Connie