Wow. So exciting to read the first comments and read everyone's entries all over again. Yesterday had gone. Doing my college stuff. Had a final meeting with a professor who I am doing research with.

Here's what I had yesterday.

- Slimfast shake (I had no intention really of doing the slimfast plan, but the other day I somehow ended up coming home from the supermarket with a can of Slimfast powder... They must have accidentally packed away someone else's purchase. Well, why let it go to waste, so I suppose I'll try it for a bit.)

- 1/2 cup of low fat Ricotta cheese with 5 Pillsburry mini-Biscuits. (They are like 2 regular size ones, so it's not too much, but I should have had something healthier instead, I suppose)

- a green apple - 2.5 liters of water. -went to a greek diner for dinner and had small greek side salad 1/2 gyro a few baked fries

Came home feeling good about the fact that I had not overeaten. This rarely used to happen.

Then everything went downhill... I finished off the rest of the gyro and had a large portion of icecream... And well.......Did I mention before, unfortunately I am a college student struggling with bilimia. God, I hate myself so much. I was oh so good for most of the day. Nights are my worst enemy. It's soooooo hard not to eat at night! Most of my classes start about noon, so I am usually up till 1-2 in the morning. And late meals are my worst enemies. It's those darn things that lead to my binges. Also, I try to not be home alone too often and stick around on campus to do my work. It's easier, cause I never throw up away from home... Another thing that I try to do is wait 10-15 minutes before I reach for second portion when I am tempted to binge... But that's easier said than done. That is really my number one goal. When I don't binge I don't throw up...

So that's my goal, I suppose.... I wish. Here are my goals for the next month... in order.

(1)Finish all my college work (a 10 page separate list of its own)

(2)Find a job as a computer scientist in this awful economy

(3)End bulimia

(4)Start exercising

(5)lose weight.

I honestly wish I got kidnapped by aliens for a month and came back when this is all over.!!!! Damn... denial is the best medicine. This stuff goes easier when I don't think about it or make lists.

Well... except for the slip at night, I had an otherwise very good eating day. And my weight is finally on the move. It's been sort of balancing between 137 and 136. But this morning it's 135. Yay.