forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
InnerPeace 1 hrs
Horn_Of_Plenty 2 hrs
legcramps 3 hrs
graindart 4 hrs
BearCountryGG 6 hrs
happy-1 17 hrs
Donkey 1 days
Maria7 2 days
pinklatte 2 days
DDwebmaster 2 days
chidogs 10/22
Duaa123. 10/12
smilewithkatie 5/28
Puddles 5/18
52LivingLife 4/16
Jayhawkjen 4/14
trishpiglet3 4/12
thinkpositive 3/21
onceagain 2/01
KathyBlue 1/08
xanthe 11/28
jazzstorie 11/27
Cybermom4 10/31
jabockov 10/06
biscottibody59 9/12

Recent Forum Topics
DD Future - 2017 - 12:34P 30-Apr

My First time! - 6:19P 7-Mar

Can't post replies to journal posts - 2:14P 17-Sep

WEBMASTER: Replies to comments on diary - 6:16P 12-Jul

DD Maintenance - 05/14/2015 - 2:52A 25-Jul

Shoes - 4:55P 19-Nov

Welcome to Diet Diaries.com

We are a supportive community of individuals with like minded goals of becoming healthier. You can choose to start your own diet diary today or just read other's entries for inspiration.

For those seeking support, we suggest starting a "public" diary. A "public" diary can be read by others and also allows other members to leave comments of encouragement as they pertain to your entries. We also offer "private" diaries for those that are just looking to keep a personal journal for their own accountability.

Since going live in 1999, there have been over 496,616 diary entries and comments posted!

You're welcome to join in for free. No matter what diet plan or exercise plan you choose. Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins, South Beach, low carb, running, biking, swimming, walking, counting calories, low fat, low sugar, or anything else.

innerpeace - Tuesday Dec 18, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Left work and went to the mammogram appointment. It is never as bad as I make it out to be, it's just the hassle. I don't know if this is more uncomfortable for smaller breasted women, but I just don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable having others (uninvited) manipulate my breasts, and then slap my hand away when I'm only trying to help move or posiition it where they want it to be. Torturous procedure. So I stand there, lean in, lift up, shoulder back, chin up, hold my breath, whatever is needed and I even said thank you!

Get home and took a 45 minute nap, which turned out to be a mistake come bedtime. I don't think I got to sleep until after 1:10 - that was the last time I looked at the clock.

Cooked some potatoe roll, however, the potatoes stuck to the baking sheet so it turned out to be more of a potatoe scramble with spinach and creamcheese and ground beef and it was ugly. It tasted better than it looked.

Today I get the girl, we have to stop by the store and get bananas for the pudding I am making for the Christmas Luncheon at work tomorrow. Told the girl I would make her chicken and brocolli alfredo, as this is what she wants.

Haven't heard if my son will make it up or not, however, if he doesn't, I have already planned to drive to Georgia and drop his Christmas off, the girl will probably come with me and we will just make it a road tirp. I won't have to be back to work until 1/2/19.

B: fritatta, french vanilla latte

L: leftover potato, spinach roll

S: balanced breaks

D: grilled chicken alfreado with brocolli

Day 26 of no pop, so I can stick to something, now just to incorporate this practice into other things.

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
Congrats on the loss!!! And on staying away from the pop!!!

login to leave comments

horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Dec 18, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

Kombucha 50...i don't think i had another banana last night? 

 8:30am Breakfast is weird...someone's bday so i had some of her homemade cake which was awesome. 250??? it was one of those  "wet cakes" that would have some liquor in it. very good. Russian cake, she came here later in life. I hope not more than 250. and coffee 50. 300. other coworker made me an espresso too. lol. GOOD MORNING here!

8:30am I also, not knowing about the cake, was running decently on time so picked up an egg white omelette for a more satisfying and hunger preventing breakfast. turned out amazing. it was egg whites with turkey (and a really substantial amount of turkey!) tomatoes, peppers. nice. i still have half as it was big.  half the omelette: 250?

10am Snack:  Rest of the tasty turkey egg white omelette. i doubt it's more than 200, maybe less...maybe only 150?

11:30-12:00 150 in salted roasted almonds 

850 before lunch.

Lunch: heathy from home, last of my soup 250! with extra tofu 100. 350...


Snack before workout:

LEAVING ON TIME from now till my trip. that's it. 5pm.

After workout meal: probably yogurt and berries? 


looking forward to lowering my stress levels, managng my credit cards...fixing the MTA issue - trying to get $360-$390 back from charges that didn't go towards a transportation card as i already am charged straight outta my paycheck but accidentally signed up for an extra service that i thought i had cancelled. i also just paid off another card again by accident extra $200 for a groupon i regurned!!!grrr....so that's fine.

i'll just plan to use the card more than my cash/debit card on vacation / or now  bc it will have a "surplus" of $200 since i returned what i bought on it. ...lately i'm just doing things with my money too much ahead of time - by trying to stay on top of things, i'm being so proactive that it's defeating the purpose bc i'm not thinking first!!!!!! 

for now on when paying off cards, i'm going to have to "double check" what the charges are for, before i am pressing to just "pay" on my phone because i'm getting stupid with paying for things that i either return or shouldn't be charged for!

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
When I look back to the days when we didn't have credit cards....and if we didn't have the cash...then we didn't get "IT"...whatever it was...we put so much more money in the savings account...we wore our clothes out....we ate up all most all of what was in the house before shopping...I used coupons and sales....and cooked with eye to total cost per meal.....life was so nice and simple then........shooping with credit cards ( which we now do)...is flat out dangerous....we pay more, we shop more, we buy our wants instead of our needs...I rarely use a coupon....we have clothes we never wear.....I pay bills without even looking at them sometimes.........I'm determined to do better in the new year...

horn_of_plenty on 12/18/2018:
I AGREE 100%!

In the new year, i'm going to be LESS eager to pay credit cards (bc i pay them mostly on my phone apps) and check TWICE before i pay to read EXACTLY what i'm paying for without just rushing a payment thru.

No more stupid payment errors on my end! It's not like i'm losing money, except on the MTA thing...which i'm trying to get back on this coming Monday/Wednesday i'll be calling them again.

But i'm annoyed i MOVED $200 from my checking to pay a credit card of which the amount on the card was for what was to be a finalized GROUPON RETURN! so i moved my money to the credit card for NO REASON and now i'm in surplus! just stupid! i'd rather have left the $ alone in my checking, DUH! lol stupid me~ i was too fast to pay it. and forgot to realize the $200 would be taken off in a few days!

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:

horn_of_plenty on 12/18/2018:
yes shopping is so easy now~

graindart on 12/18/2018:
Your mention of cake instantly brought about a craving. Fruit cake. I know that movies make fun of it and most people supposedly don't like it, but I like the unique flavor / dense texture of it. Or maybe it just brings back good holiday memories. I don't think it's something that I would want to eat a lot of and would probably be happy with just one piece, so maybe I'll be able to work it into my daily allotment. Tried some rum-soaked versions on a cruise to the Caribbean back a number of years ago and they were nasty. Maybe it's because I don't drink, but they just had one single strong flavor that was just overpowering (rum). Definitely prefer the run-of-the-mill grocery store version better. Haven't heard of any of my friends or relatives making them in decades.

And while I'm on the topic of holiday cravings. I've been doing a good job avoiding it so far, but have been craving one particular brand of eggnog. Saw it in the grocery store and figured I'd buy a carton of it, until I saw how many calories it had. One 12 oz glass of it would set me back 570 calories. That's crazy. And I knew that if I bought it, I'd end up drinking more than 1 glass.

Keep on maintaining through the holidays and I hope to join you in maintenance-land in the new year......

login to leave comments

legcramps - Tuesday Dec 18, 2018

Weight: 0.0

This week:

Monday - Work 8-4

Tuesday - Work 8-4; Coach 4:30-8; Workout 8-9; stay at BF's

Wednesday - Work 8-4

Thursday - Work 8-4

Friday - Work 8-4; Coach 4:30-6:30; Workout 6:30-8

Saturday - Coach 7:30-11:30; Workout 11:30-12:30; Twinkle Tour 2018 6-7

Sunday - REST; finish any final preparations leading up to Christmas

Yesterday went mostly according to plan. I left work a bit early so that I could pick up groceries that we need for a work event tomorrow, then I ran a few other errands as well. When I got home, I added everything I needed for chilli to the slow cooker and got it going, unpacked everything from the car and organized it into bundles to bring in to work today. I spent the rest of the evening doing a lot of self care things. I feel pretty good this morning, except for that I took an advil for my back and now my stomach is cramping a bit, I think it's from the advil.

It will be a long day today; I still have a lot to do to get ready for the work event tomorrow, and not a whole lot of extra time to do it. So i'm feeling a bit anxious, but the days will pass regardless of how I feel about it, so I might as well just relax!

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
Hope you feel better and your day goes along as planned.....but you are right, the day willpass either way......so try to relax....it will be just fine.

login to leave comments

graindart - Tuesday Dec 18, 2018
(Slow and Steady --OR-- Aggressive New Plan ????)
Weight: 175.0

Day 84 completed successfully.

Yesterday was a bit lower in calories, only 1 bag of 100cal popcorn, and no high-sodium sprinkle dust on the popcorn.  I did have some soy sauce on some shiritaki rice for dinner.  I forgot that soy sauce was so high in sodium.  When I checked the amount, I could've skipped it and had my high sodium sprinkle dust on the popcorn for less sodium content.  Doesn't really matter in the long run.  I'm just going lower sodium right now to see the scale drop.  When I go back to high salt intake, the scale will bounce back up a few lbs. 

Here's my thought process.......  Stay extra "good" the next couple of days until we leave for vacation.  Thursday will probably be my final weigh-in since I won't be taking the scale with me.  So I'm really hoping that the scale reading remains low on Thursday.  Then on vacation I'll try to maintain the streak, although with my normally higher sodium intake levels.  My hope is that I'll continue to lose fat while on vacation and that it will offset the higher water weight that comes with the higher sodium intake.  That way in theory I should come back from vacation and weigh the same on the scale, but while on the higher sodium eating. 

It would be great to see a solid 175 on January 1st while on my normal higher sodium intake eating.  That would mean I could tackle that final 5 lbs with renewed vigor in January.

On to conquer day 85...

Progress as of today: 108 lbs lost so far, only 5.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/18/2018:
Nice number on the scale!

I agree with your assessment that if you moderate portions, any weight gained on vacation should come off fairly quickly. Deep ends are where the difficulty arises.

graindart on 12/18/2018:
Now I just have to remember that when I'm faced with a big plate of freshly baked cookies over Christmas. My going off the deep end last Christmas all started with one single gingerbread cookie. It tasted so good that I figured I'd have a 2nd. Then a 3rd, 4th, 5th. At that point I just started eating them back to back like a shark feeding frenzy. Probably ate 20+ cookies that night. Then it continued for 10 days of over eating.

So I just have to remind myself to make a conscious choice. Do I want to enter the new year with only 5 lbs to lose? Or do I want to constantly over-eat out of control in front of relatives and consequently have 20 lbs to lose on January 1st?

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
Knowing what the problem was the last time is going to keep you from making that mistake again.......and you are right......remember the relatives....let them see you eat 1 cookie and then walk away from the cookies!! Great scale today........!!!

graindart on 12/18/2018:
Knowing the problem / trigger SHOULD help me avoid it, but in reality I don't know that it does. It's almost like cookies and other cookie-type things (granola bars) flip a switch in my brain. The switch turns off all reasoning and just gives my body one directive = CONSUME!

And it doesn't seem like I've learned much moderation when it comes to cookies / granola bars. A good example is I found a package of small cookies on the counter yesterday. They didn't look overly appealing and didn't smell overly intoxicating. But I decided to eat one since it was only 40 calories. It tasted kind of like a graham cracker. It wasn't bad, tasted fine, nothing special. Ten minutes later I grabbed 3 for the car as I was running errands. Then later I actually got up from bed to grab another 3. Then they were still on my brain as I went back to bed. It's not that they were great cookies. But as soon as I ate one, all I could think about was eating more. So I ate a granola bar instead. And went back to bed, but really wanted to finish off the rest of the cookies and granola bars. This morning I split the remaining cookies between the girls and sent them with their lunches. Still granola bars in the house, so I'll try to avoid them as best I can.

While I'm looking forward to entering maintenance in 2019 and eating more daily calories, I think there are some foods I'm just going to have to pretty much avoid 99% of the time. And cookies / granola bars top that list.

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
I've been paying a lot more attention to the serving sizes on the pkg or recipe.....for some reason...it is finally clicking with me....I'm enjoying 1 serving now instead of just scarfing them down to make them disappear........It has taken a long time to get to this point....but it finally clicked.

graindart on 12/18/2018:
It doesn't seem to click for me when dealing with normal family-sized packaging. I can read the serving size is 3 cookies for 120 calories, but that just means I eat 3 cookies each time I walk past the package.

What seems to work best for me is buying packages of things that only contain single servings. It seems to work well with my popcorn. Although I don't think it would work with cookies. I'd just open a new single serving every couple minutes......

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
Yes with the mini bags of cookies.....it is too easy to just take 2 bags instead of 1. I just finally got into the right frame of mind for some reason...my guess is that you will find that too.....possibly when you are in maintenence......

login to leave comments

BearCountryGG - Tuesday Dec 18, 2018
(Between 1,200 and 1,500 calories a day and WW)
Weight: 0.0

Really getting the motivation going for january 1st on so many levels.......I'm seeing a lot of things that I have slacked off on in general.....I'm spending too much time relaxing...and not enough time getting things done...then they pile up...and I really don't want to do them then......so i'm setting some guidelines for my week....with sundays off........and doing some dress rehearsals starting today....the diet thing is just fine............I will be happy to have the holidays over with.......and to be able to get back to regular life.  I'm scheduling my days to get back on track with everything......so that there aren't things waiting for long periods of time going undone........I'm scheduling meals to be 6 hours apart....i hope that works...with only water between meals.......I've been doing a lot of reading over the last few days....and if that works...it will be a good thing........i'm going back to preparing breakfast for both of us daily and will continue with the noon meal being our main meal....but I'm adding a different take to the 6P.M. meal....we have both been just grabbing something in the evening....and I'm noticing that for both of us...and especially D...that he/we are eating an awful lot of things that are just junky...and not real food...i'm fine with junky....but that shouldn't become a meal in itself all by itself.....Not putting any pressure on him about any of this...he has free will and can eat what he wants...but I spent a lot of years preparing 3 meals a day....and over the last few years...... I have completely eliminated anything prepped after 12:00 noon..........so that's when the healthfull foods have stopped basically...i'm fixing that again....we will both benefit from that.  I'm setting up a house cleaning schedule again.....( I have veered off from that lately...and no more napping for me......i am sleeping no more than 4 or 5 hours at night...because i'm sleeping too much during the day ( I'm sure I'm sleeping during the day to avoid doing things around here that need to be done.......Just fixing it ALL...and getting back on track with my time.

Donkey on 12/18/2018:
You have inspired me to try to fit in some kind of decluttering goal in 2019. Right now, I'm thinking of 15 minute episodes. My problem is that during the week, not much else gets done, and then on the weekends, I want to enjoy my time off and not clean or declutter - LOL.

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
I know exactly what you mean!!!! But....that is why I love my little timer....i pick the thing I do NOT want to do...and set the timer for 5 minutes...and get busy doing that.......I have to admit....i get so mad at myself sometimes...when I think about how many times i put off doing that...and how much I thought about it....and then...i turn around and actually get it done in 5 minutes.....It's worth it to spend a few minutes at a time.....i'm back to doing that again and it does take a load off my mind.

graindart on 12/18/2018:
Planning, structure, schedules. All of the tools that I use to meet the goals that are important to me. Plenty of goals aren't important enough for me to put in the extra pre-work, but those lesser goals I usually just end up abandoning anyways.

The wife is in that cycle of napping during the day and not sleeping well at night. Personally I despise naps and see them as a waste of my time. Even when I wake up early and face a long day, I know that I'll just sleep that much better when I finally go to bed at the end of the day. And in general, I rarely have problems sleeping soundly through the night. I'm usually asleep within 5 minutes of getting in bed and don't wake again until it's time to get up. Although last night was a bit different due to cookies / granola bar cravings.

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
I think I've been napping to avoid doing the things I knew I needed to do....bad habit..

graindart on 12/18/2018:
I do the same thing, just not with naps. For me, it's probably wasting time on the internet when I don't feel like doing what I should be doing. Kind of like this very second as I'm typing this. Should be doing some other stuff, but really don't want to......

So now that I've said that, I have to get off my butt and go do the other stuff......

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:

login to leave comments

Horn_of_plenty - Monday Dec 17, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

6:46pm edit: the OT i was doing was actually requiring standing up...and since i got two walking breaks also, i decided to finish the remaining 2 hours tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16/16 hours OT DONE.

I did the OT in 8 days, so, if you average it, 2 hours per day. not a little bit. my hours, if i worked 2hours per day would be 8:30am-7pm everyday. however, on those days some were as little as 1/2 whereas other days i did up to 4 hours. glad it's freaking done!

i will not work OT, i pretty much refuse, until Spring. Very sick of it.

my company doesn't pay anyways for OT. it was to get the 2 days off. but it stressed me out like NO OTHER. and i'm very done with it right now.


4:20am small banana 100 

Kombucha 70 

Breakfast: half a flatbread of hgher cal type 120, egg 80, one tasty white chocolate filled something from coworker 80? coffee 50. 330

snack: some almonds and the chocolate covered coconut bar atkins still not sick of these 200

noon snack: 3 russian dark chocolates from ANOTHER coworker!!!!! for realz! i could have had just 1 but sorta hungry right now and it's sorta lunchtime and still going out to walk before i actually eat...splurging going on but in the best way!

Lunch, from home so healthy: Veggie soup leftovers from last weekend..yup...i got it for one more day...didn't want to throw this stuff out! broth 50, veggies 100, tofu 50. that's it. 200-250. 

Snack: i have almonds and clementines, i also have a wrap 120 with oily okra spread 130if i want...healthy...leftovers also all the way from last weekend lol...not a fan of throwing the good stuff out...and last week ate out so much that i wasted eating these things while they were fresher! ..would be a nice snack, 250...

4pm coffee and cookie 100 or a little more...good, chocolate 100

Dinner: pumpkin pie siggi's yogurt 140, stevia and just a hair of spicy saffron cooked cranberries 50, banana 120, ice cream 100...400! 

2000 :) wowwwww! nice!


Will do an hour OT till 6pm today - should be easy bc i went out on a quick errand in the morning for my supervisor and i'm going walking at lunch...maybe i'll just do the TWO HOURS today???

Need to clean hamster cage tonight...also would be good to do  some walking home from Subway....so the OT is probably NOT a good focus for today....

After writing this, I just realized something: do the walk tonight, clean the hamster cage, do ONE hour OT is more than enough.


Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/17/2018:
Wow, you're up early. Putting in OT early on in the day? I do that sometimes. It's much easier than staying late.... sometimes.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
i just woke up bc i guess the extra sleep and exercise started to get me up...but i just ate the banana..and went back to bed.

lately, i'm waking up sometimes and going on my phone for a few minutes....but nothing major and i love that i'm going back to bed...and i def got a lot of sleep all weekend lol...

but yeah, i was up and ended up prepping food and stuff...

i only forgot my book :( to read on my commute :( but the cell phone worked so that's good! haha....

enjoy your day jdonk!

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
Almost done with that pesky overtime.......

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
lol, yes, i was debating skipping so i can go home, make a pumpkin pie cheesecake and clean hamster cage, but i'd rather get the OT done ! and have it off my mind!

legcramps on 12/17/2018:
The chocolates and baking are starting to show up here at the office too; thankfully I am in my own office and I don't have to see it or smell it all day long, but everytime I have to walk over to the scheduling office, I walk right past it - so hard to resist! Which is crazy, because most of the food is all packaged stuff like chocolate-coated cookies and wafers. I don't even like it, but it still tempts me just because it's there!

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
i know exactly what you mean...the fact that it's within your reach makes it tempting especially if you are hungry or with an appetite...i'm exactly the same!

graindart on 12/17/2018:
Good job knocking the rest of the OT out. Now you can take it easier as you get your Miami trip planned out.

horn_of_plenty on 12/18/2018:
Thank you!!! as you said, now my mind is at ease regarding OT...and i can think about better stuff...like Miami!

login to leave comments

happy-1 - Monday Dec 17, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 216.3

Back on the horse after a 3 day food and tv marathon.   I just stayed up too late on fri night because my clock was pointing in the other direction and my outdoor timer was nudged to “off”... probably my mom while I was dog sitting. In any case... I got off track for three days and spent today making a checklist for my week so that everyday I can just check things off and give myself credit for the things I do pull off.

Kickboxing instructor wants to see me again on thursday. At least something is going my way. I swear the feeling of someone else being “there “ and liking me helped me get my mending done, struggle my dad’s enormous 1980s printer into the car, sort clothes for donations and storage, and otherwise kick myself in the butt to get back on track instead of losing a week to a sleep disruption- triggered self pity cycle. Need to do the things that will help me deserve him.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 10.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/18/2018:
Well Happy...You sound quite happy!!! Nice to see that you are finding motivation...:)

Donkey on 12/18/2018:
The question is, Do YOU want to see Mr. Kickboxer on Thursday?

graindart on 12/18/2018:
First day back after a binge-fest is always the most difficult for me. In the back of my mind I keep telling myself I should just go off the rails again for one more day and start new tomorrow...... Of course, that's how I've always gained back all my lost weight in the past.

So get back on the horse and get a string of successful days going.

login to leave comments

legcramps - Monday Dec 17, 2018

Weight: 0.0

Pretty sad to wake up to Monday staring me in the face, but you can't stop time, right?!

BOOB Question coming up, for anyone who thinks it might be TMI, go ahead and skip to the next paragraph! Anyone have any experience with breast pain and tenderness going into menopause? I know i'm only in my 40's, but man they have been so sore for the last week! I'm pretty sure it's not the muscles surrounding it (it's not from working out), and I can rule out pregnancy. Only thing I can think of is early menopause! I have been on depo provera, but the last shot I had was in July; I didn't take the shot in October (no reason, just because); I haven't gotten my period back yet. Just thought maybe someone else might have some insight; it's an irritating feeling LOL.

I have been diligent in taking the anti-inflammatories the doctor prescribed for my back, and I think it's finally starting to help. Last night I could jump into bed without much effort (the normal for the past 10 days has been a lot of grunting and groaning while crawling under the covers), and this morning was met with a lot less pain too. Progress! I am still really uncomfortable sitting for too long at my desk, but it's certainly much better than it was last week.

Friday - Work 8-4; Coach 4:30-6:30; Workout 6:30-7:30; drove to BF's and crashed hard after eating a delicious meal that he made - sausage, potatoes and veggies.

Saturday - Up early, desparately tried to go back to sleep, but I was in pain and couldn't get comfortable; bacon and eggs for breakfast, did some last minute Christmas shopping, baked cookies; watched my Godson play his first hockey game; Workout 6-7:30; we made another delicous meal of pork cutlets in the slow cooker, potatoes and veggies, then spent the rest of the night relaxing.

Sunday - Slept in until 10!!! Pancakes for breakfast; drove home; baked more cookies; baked an apple/pear crisp; BF arrived at my place; went to a friend's for an early Christmas supper and celebration (our contribution was the apple/pear crisp, which was superb), played some dominoes and back home by 9:30 to relax for a bit before bed.

This week:

Monday - Work 8-4

Tuesday - Work 8-4; Coach 4:30-8; Workout 8-9; stay at BF's

Wednesday - Work 8-4

Thursday - Work 8-4

Friday - Work 8-4; Coach 4:30-6:30; Workout 6:30-8

Saturday - Coach 7:30-11:30; Workout 11:30-12:30; Twinkle Tour 2018 6-7

Sunday - REST; finish any final preparations leading up to Christmas

It's going to be another busy week, but at least I have today, Wednesday and Thursday night free (so far). I'm going to make a chili tonight for supper and then i'll have that for leftovers for the week, which will help for sure. I'm really craving hamburger meat; I don't think i've been getting enough protein lately. I'm going to fill it with lots of good veggies too.


horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
For some reason, i thought you were more around my age, 36! wow you look great for your age!

i don't know about menopause, i just know that right before that TOM i get the pain some months more and some months less or not at all. but i've felt it. annoying!

for some reason, the stores have NO SWEET POTATOES by me! only yams. i keep wanting to eat more potatoes but they are missing in action!

yup, i also slept in Sunday and woke up to an indulgent breakfast similar to yours...also ate cookie...well, cookie dough! haha. i had no patience to cook them.

with your work, do you get to leave for a break like a lunch break? are you paid during that time or are you paid 7hours?

legcramps on 12/17/2018:
Yeah, I leave for lunch most days. I have an unpaid lunch break of 1/2 an hour, so i'm paid for 7.5 hours of work. My hours were cut by the government a few years ago, so I don't like staying for lunch because I usually end up having to work through it, and then they get 8 hours of work out of me and only have to pay me for 7.5 ;)

Just venting now, but I also don't get paid overtime, so when I talk about having to go back to work or stay at work extra to go to a meeting or something, that's time that I don't get paid for.

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
All the slow cooker meals are making me want to fire my slow cooker up......

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:

login to leave comments

innerpeace - Monday Dec 17, 2018

Weight: 315.4

Had a pretty good weekend.

Up early Saturday, started wrapping presents, but soon stopped...just because. Watched sappy Christmas movies. Showered, dressed and went to DH's work party. It was ok, we had fun. I was really amazed at all the young people at this party, though we weren't the oldest, we were on the old end of the minority. DH did win a golf gift basket that he has no idea what to do with. He said I could give it to my boss.

Dinner there was roast beef, salad, spoonful of chicken alfredo, mashed potatos and then cheese cake for dessert. It was all descent.

Just listening to DH talk to his work people was interesting.

The girl was at her grandma's house while we were at the party so we stopped and picked her up on the way home. We got home about 11:30 pm. In bed by 12:30.

Sunday finally finished wrapping the presents and did the laundry. B: fritatta, L: beer brat D: pork chop, baked potato, salad

The girl didn't want to go home, so she asked if she could stay and have DH take her to school this morning. I told her that would be ok. Then she told me she was going to tell her mom that she had an appointment. I told her not to lie. To just tell her the truth that she wanted to stay, it would be best for everyone involved to NOT lie about anything. She said, mom lies to me all the time. I told her to be the better person and if she started to lie now she would get into the habit and that isn't good for anyone in the end.

She asked her mom if she could stay and the mom said...NO. So now the girl is upset and sad that she can't stay. I just don't understand the mom and her thinking process. I say this because when my son was this age, he opted to go live with his dad. Of course I was hurt, but I just wanted my son to be happy and let him go. So when I see the girl's mom be selfish like this I just don't understand it.

Today I have an inordinate about of sadness and depression and this I just can't seem to get rid of and so close to Christmas...no good for me at all.

DH is half way crazy - he told me I could have the golf basket for my boss and then in one day and one night he has tried to give it to everyone else, he even asked his son if he wanted to go play gold...the YA said I don't know how, I just know you hit the ball around. So now I wonder, why he told me I could give it to my boss but yet he tries to give it to everyone else and or/sell it for a profit, so why does he tell me one thing and do something completely different? This puzzles me. So this morning, i just left it on the island and came to work. I didn't even say anything about it. It's not mine, so as far as I'm concerned it can sit there and rot.

Today I have a mammogram...seriously there is NO way I will NOT put on deoderant or powder this morning...so I will deal with this when I actually get to the appointment at 2:30.

Just another typical Monday for IP! Have a great day.

Progress as of today: 6.2 lbs lost so far, only 105.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
Good advice about not lying.......It is unfortunate that she asked her mom....maybe the next time she could call her Mom and say..."I'd like to stay at dads tonight and he will drop me off at school in the morning".......she is learning a lot from you....she is almost grown...it will serve her well. It is a common time of year to be depressed......a lot of people are. My guess about the golf stuff is that he was throwing out ideas....and then continued to come up with ideas....probably not a good idea to mention it to your boss......until hubby brings your boss up again...I agree...let it sit there.

graindart on 12/17/2018:
Don't shoot me for giving a possible other side to the mom / daughter situation. I obviously don't know anything about either of them, but here is what bothers me when dealing with similar last minute things:

I'm a person that likes most things planned out when possible. I actually enjoy spur of the moment changes or surprises as long as they're not the normal trend.

My parents rarely plan things out in advance. They usually give me a call and want to do something with their grandkids that same day or maybe with one day advance notice. They also don't usually have any kind of idea on how long something is going to last. If this was a once in awhile thing, I'd understand, but it's a normal pattern.

The spur of the moment plans with no known length of time is great for the ones involved, but sucks for those not involved. In my case, parents call up and want to take the kids somewhere and don't know how long it will be. So if I let them go, I need to change the plans I had with the family and also scramble to find something to do without them or just sit around and feel like I'm wasting a day. If my parents had asked to take the kids a week in advance at a certain time, that would've been fine. Because then I could've scheduled something for myself during that time (with or without wife).

So back to your situation. If the mom is like me, there's a chance that she wouldn't care about stuff like that as long as it was planned ahead. Maybe it's just the sudden changes to schedule that irritate her. I know that's what drives me nuts with my parents. If they scheduled things out further, I'd allow my kids to do more stuff with them. But because of the last minute calls be typical, I often times just tell them "no". (And "yes", I have let me parents know about this.)

innerpeace on 12/18/2018:
I get where you are coming from and I appreciate what you say. It's just this woman is so selfish and all she is concerned about is 'her time', not what the daughter wants.

My husband was like this at first but after the first year, he finally started to understand, it isn't what is best for him or his exwife, it has to be what is best for their daughter. She still doesn't get it.

We will ask her weeks in advance to change the schedule and she will just flat out say - this is my time. She is the resident parent and most time is hers, she won't even allow for additional days during the summer, she is just mean and manipulative and hurtful.

If this wasn't the norm and from past behavior, I would understand, but she always says NO, that is why the girl wants to lie, so maybe one day she will say yes. I didn't want her to get into that habit of lying just to get her way.

We will ask to change the schedule weeks in advance and her reply is always 'we have plans'. When we get the girl again and asked if she had fun or what her plans were, her reply is the same. We had no plans or we didn't do anything. The exwife is just spiteful and doesn't want to let the girl have any extra time with her dad or maybe me...I don't know.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
Either re-gift the golf gift OR sell it slightly under (including shipping - work it out) on ebay or facebook local...

grrrr...you mention cheesecake and it's a reminder i have failed to get my cheesecake in the works the past two weekends (chose to relax instead both weekends instead of rushing with it....ah well, it'll happen :)

with your frittata, i should go back to more egg things, like "egg muffins" premade to bring to work for breakfasts....YES! this would also be good for the new year!...instead of low sugar baked goods haha...

well, you did the right thing with the girl and not lying...perhaps there's a way she could get her mom to say yes, and not be a lie...maybe brainstorm on how you could get the mom to say yes...like, hmmm...i have to think about this later..

are you feeling stressed and sad and depressed bc of the mammogram? i hope you feel better later today xoxo...you can do this. you are capable of awesome things. don't put yourself down. sounding like donkey's other entry a bit!

maybe look into some foods good to increase positivity...salmon, avocado, garlic, onions, ginger...green tea (even decaf i like better - they sell it for the keurig), saffron (just a little this stuff is whack!...i use the tiniest amounts)...black pepper....list goes on...

my approach for this end of the year going into 2019 is trying to eat better...for my health, strength, mental clarity.

graindart on 12/18/2018:
So with the additional info you noted in your reply above, it sounds like it's a frustrating situation to be in. And unfortunately one that doesn't appear to have an easy way to change. Stinks being stuck in a difficult situation where you just have to deal with what's available to you.

But good job telling her not to lie to her mom to get her way. That would most likely just lead to an even more negative situation in the future.

login to leave comments

Donkey - Monday Dec 17, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.5

Woke up unsure if it was Sunday or Monday... thinking it was Sunday, and then realizing it was Monday.  This is usually not a good sign.  Then, my bathroom issues choose this morning to reconcile themselves, which means that for about 10-15 minutes, my cardio was interrupted by frequent trips to the bathroom.  Not so great.

I am hoping that this week is a bit quieter at work.  One thing that has become abundantly clear to me is my unhappiness in relation to my job.  I want to think this through though.  Is it my unhappiness AT work?  Or my unhappiness WITH the work itself?   While I could have said this a few years ago,  that the opposite was true,  work is not going to be the source of  happiness and fulfillment.  I suppose it seldom is, although, like I said, a few years ago, it was quite fulfilling and satisfying to work where I do and what I do.

I've been toying with the idea of going more keto in 2019, but last night, I realized that in the past, when I've reached my goal and try to take eating to a higher level, usually vegetarian, but this year keto, it backfires on me and I regain all the weight I've lost.  Wtih this realization, that this has happened repeatedly, I'm not sure I want to "devote" myself to eating one particular way.

But still having fun putting together goals, aspirations, and mantras for 2019!

Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost and already at goal!

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
I guess that is why they call artists..."starving artists"......they are doing what they love but they can't live on it..........one thing about working.....you can do it and make a little money or you can do it and make enough money or you can do it and make a lot of money...it's all work......I don't know if you get handed a pay check...or if you have automatic deposit....but i used to LOVE that paper pay check.....it was palpable...it was proof...that my work actually payed off........the thing about auto deposit..is that you almost don't feel the same gratification........The only way I ever knew rather I LOVED my job or not...was when I actually forgot it was payday......the jobs I didn't love....were finally enjoyable when the checks were handed out.

graindart on 12/17/2018:
Work for me is just a means to pay for what I want for my family and myself. I've never had a job I liked. I've almost always had jobs that have paid well, but have always wished to be somewhere else.

I've been in the current profession for 17 years and have pretty much despised it since year 3. I'd love to find an alternative, but this one pays well and also affords me a completely flexible schedule. The flexible schedule has allowed me to show up to pretty much everything that my kids have been involved with at school or outside of school. And I'm very thankful for that. It's also paid all the bills and even allowed us to be debt-free finally this past year (paid off mortgage last year after 15 years).

So I don't like my job......but since I have to have a job, it's the one that gives me the most benefit for the least time required. Of course if I ever figure out something else with better reward to time ratio, I'll change in a heartbeat.

I've basically given up on the notion that I can ever have a job I enjoy. To me, that would be called a hobby..... And hobbies have never made me a penny.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
it's true, people like me and you are def better off keeping our mouths shut MOST of the time. MOST. not all, but most. I have learned this a THOUSAND times. we just do NOT have that "gift of the gab" and high ability to be so social and everyone to like every comment we make...we are NOT outgoing folks. and there's nothing wrong with that!!!!!!

meaning, i'm just saying, we are better off and more content just to come in and do our work...of course we DO have to talk and get along with our coworkers...and we do!...but, when needing to make a point or argument, BOTH of us need to realize that it's best we shut up even if we think we are right...especially me, regarding that.

but also one piece of advice i want you to remember is a job is a job...of course we want to love it...and we need to try to enjoy many aspects of our work, but we will NEVER like EVERYONE we work with, so, better off trying to stay at one place working as long as possible bc if it's a problem with certain people, there will be annoying people wherever you go. My mom is now having issues. she's REALLY NOT social. so...yeah. and she's an administrator in charge of people...yeah, strange.

LOL at least your bathroom issues are resolved before the day starts :)

so exactly - regarding work: this is why you also have to make sure you are prioritizing your time OUTSIDE work. you have to do fulfilling things to look forward outside of work...to keep living life.

i like keto for desserts and a lot of meals i make are more low carb...but i end of eating carbs with my meals anyways. like a side i usually love carbs. it's never the main part of a meal, when most usually it's not. however, just remember one thing, that dieticians have shown us for a long time that carbs are necessary. we know there's good things to gain by them. i do not eat low carb, just moderate, def not high carb. but do what makes your mind and body feel good.

we both know that anything not in moderation is prob not healthiest.

still, i do love my keto desserts and crockpot cabbage dishes!

login to leave comments

BearCountryGG - Monday Dec 17, 2018
(Between 1,200 and 1,500 calories a day and WW)
Weight: 0.0

My holiday maintenance plan is working well...still fitting into the clothes that i started the month with.....But I am looking forward to the new year. 

I heard something about cortisol yesterday that peaked my interest....and so have been reading about that since......apparently it is a hormone that is produced by the adrenal gland.......and it's main purpose is for the fight ot flight response.......and when we are stressed....not necessarily a "what's the matter Lassie...did Timmy fall in the well"...type emergency...but something as simple as an argument, being irritated with someone, not getting enough sleep or hearing something disturbing....we start producing cortisol.....and because we aren't usually running to pull Timmy out of the well........we cope with it by eating....stress eating....higher cortisol levels which in turn causes hunger...end up in belly fat.....ok...that explains that!!!

Now I just need to find the causes of Butt fat, leg fat, back fat and arm fat.

No problem with finger fat or foot fat.......Apparently I am handling those just fine with the remote and the stairs!!!   LOL

Donkey on 12/17/2018:
(Not sure if you get comment notifications, so I commented on your entry from yesterday...)

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
I did go read that....i'm still on Ww until April....and I do think there is some merit to keeping it....i probably use only 20% of it's services...I get bored with the rest....but I may just keep up with it....

graindart on 12/17/2018:
Good job on maintaining. So looking forward to that in the new year. Something I've never been able to do, unless you count maintaining at 265+ lbs.......

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
Well...it's only for a couple more weeks...then I will be back to the counting again........I'm sure the REAL maintrenance is a way off for me.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
if you don't get anything out of the site...and you have the knowledge, save your money! here is a wonderful site and i used to use Sparkpeople for a very short time. you may like it. it's blogs sorta like this - if you have extra time and you are looking for another site sorta like this but HUGE. i am not there currently using it.

I am SOOOO looking forward to a "restart" also. I'm doing ok, but, totally need to get back to priorities and making sure i am not losing ability in cardio...! or leg muscle.

YUP, i have DEFINITELY felt the affects of cortisol and DEFINITELY get more hungry when i'm tired and stressed. definite...i knew it was due to that, but, if you asked me which hormone, well, it's good you reminded me bc i wouldn't come up with it that fast...

LOL to your last two lines ;)

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
The last 2 lines are probably more true than even I know...LOL........I've looed at sparkpeople...but it didn't really look inticing to me.....I had used other sites......DD is a lot better for me....i do use a couple others a little....but rarely.........Used to co sponsor a yahoo email group....but there was some backbiting there...not me or the other owner....but a couple of women that were just problem makers...we ended up closing it down. The funny thing about WW is that when I don't have a subscription to it.....i rejoin....LOL....I probably should just stay with them because I'm kind of in the habit and leaving may backfire.......but once i've lost all I want to...i definately will quit them.

login to leave comments

graindart - Monday Dec 17, 2018
(Slow and Steady --OR-- Aggressive New Plan ????)
Weight: 176.4

Day 83 completed successfully.

Yesterday I took it easy on the popcorn with 2 bags and no overly salty sprinkle dust.  I was going to make it another extra low calorie day and was on track to do so until just before bedtime.  Then I decided on eating a granola bar.  Then another.  Then a handful of sugary cereal.  Then cheese, deli meat, mandarin orange.  Basically ate up to my normal daily limit all within the last half hour.  So it ended up just being a normal calorie restricted day in the end.

Have some regular work to accomplish today.  Last couple weeks have been slower than I'd like and this week is probably going to be rather slow too.  If I would've known that volume was going to be slower than usual, I would've planned something else to occupy the extra time.  But unfortunately there's no way of knowing business volume ahead of time.

Since Donkey asked if my goal was 100 days in a row, I've actually been considering it.  100 days would be up somewhere around Jan 2nd or 3rd.  That would mean no cheat days on Christmas, NYE, or New Years.  Logically that would be the best way for me to enter the new year, but we'll see what happens.

On to conquer day 84....

Progress as of today: 106.6 lbs lost so far, only 7.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/17/2018:
In conjunction with my comments yesterday, it can be a struggle between the "rational self" and the "immediate self". I hadn't done the math with the 100-day mark, but it's rather nice that it lands after the holiday :)

I am waiting to see if this week will be slow for me at work as well. We have a lot of folks who want to close on their real estate deals before either the holiday or the end of the year. *sigh*

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
Another good loss on the scales.....On to day number 84........

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
i totally agree with Donkey's first line. Ohhh, how hard it is to lose weight and then, when you are close you just want it to happen automatically! like a flash of lightening fast!

but, the last few are so hard to lose specifically bc the body is getting really close to where it wants to be!

Also though, if you are losing so slowly eating around 1500 cal per day, i DEF wouldn't lower it or fast.

You're body seems that the metabolism is dragging enough...meaning, you are practically in maintenance...and right now is the time to start thinking about muscle building, and trying to INCREASE metabolism.

by walking or trying to be physical 2-3x per week you can also break thru the slower weight loss slightly.

your calories are at the low end. in order to keep your metabolism strong, i'd say try to increase muscle...but try not to decrease cals. you have already decreased them to the lowest recommended.

this is my opinion.

i had a stint a long time ago, around 60 days around 1500 cals before a crusise. i am SO GLAD i have gained muscle since then. it makes it so much easier to enjoy the days...and it was low carb and low fat...horrible...i had no energy and i remember eating just lox and veggies before doing kayaking with my mom. were were the only boat to have two women & i felt SO WEAK. def not like i am now. i didn't have any muscle like now, btw, it was almost 10 years ago. i was thin and not eating right. we had to be pulled in by the guides. lol. it's a memory and i'm not embarassed or anything. but perhaps if i have coffee and carbs and full breakfast, i'd have done better.

login to leave comments

Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Dec 16, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

Slept in at parents, as i slept over and left this morning as to not have to drive while tired last night! I stayed in bed till 9am which was BEAUTIFUL!

9:30am-10:30am Tasty Breakfast:  Baguette bread parents' had just bought, toasted. 200 cal. with cream cheese 100 cal and lox 100 cal. so good! and a hot pomegranate green tea. yum yum. soon after i had some fruit my mom had prepared the night before, will just say 100 cal. there. 500 total...i forgot, a piece of angel food cake...100?

1pm back home at my apt:  flax wrap 150, tuna in oil 100, leftover baked squash fries 100, chedder flavor cauliiflower crackers 100. 450. good! need to drink more ...will go to the gym after i'm feeling "recharged" lol. 

2:30 high sugar snack: 2 pieces of high cal cookie dough, unbaked. i had ordered it preportioned (best idea!) from a coworker. it says each piece is 140 x 2 = 280 cals... ! it was good cookie dough :) and a coffee, cold brew that i picked up earlier from supermarket. 50 cal...around 350

during workout: banana, 3 clementines. 200 or so.

After workout: plain cauliflower crust with some saffron on some of it 300, 1 egg and one egg white 100. 400 total. i really want to start making the pumpkin pie, but it's almost 9pm...hmmm....i think it has to wait. i relaxed too much i guess today...no worries. not going to lose sleep over making a pumpkin pie. and sleeping was a much better idea this weekend. i have to also make the crust, so, this will wait. tomorrow i'll also clean this hamster cage. i'd rather just relax tonight, being it's a quarter to 9pm.

I worked out on and off from 5-8:30. the reason it took so long is because i started making the miami plans and other plans thru texting...and researching during the workout. it was quite productive and i even bought something very much on sale on groupon - saving $50 on top of the groupon price for two people to scuba dive. so, it was a productive night with the plans....other plans, well, i couldn't get in touch with some people not sure why, one person, but time will tell!

2000 total.

2day: 2050 per day.


I Decided that i'd rather stay home and do a home workout and skip out on the gym...the weather here is chilly, damp and rainy and i'd rather save time and be home working out. also means i do not have to care about how i look much and where whatever i want here at home.


I had breakfast with my folks and soon after i left to do a food shopping at their local supermarket as it's huge compared to Queens' supermarkets. However, i wasn't impressed by anything. the prices were on the higher side and the baking section was void of any of the new baking powders like almond powder....the only section that was well stocked were the yogurts. higher variety. as well as an area of kombucha ! and i did find more cranberries and find some tasty seltzer. however, nothing was on sale much. i got a few deals, but, like i said, not impressed. I also saw a new brand of light ice cream & of course i bought it!

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

graindart on 12/16/2018:
I've been buying a fair amount of yogurt lately since I've been finding different flavors available in some of the lower calorie selections. It's one of the ways I've been satisfying my pumpkin pie cravings. Eating a 80 calorie yogurt instead of a 250-400cal piece of pie. Also enjoy the cherry chocolate cake flavored yogurt to kind of satisfy my sweet chocolate cravings.

They obviously don't taste as good as the real thing, but seem to curb my desire enough to not go off-plan.

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
Basic large grocery stores don't seem to cater to the same clientele as the smaller health food or ethnic stores......The big stores don't sell the specialty things quick enough. They buy inquantities that can't be moved in time.

Donkey on 12/17/2018:
How nice that you decided to spend time with your folks: dinner and a sleep-over! Ahh, that just sounds so nice. In this respect, I do wish we lived closer to my family in Vegas. It would be nice to do things with them more often.

login to leave comments

graindart - Sunday Dec 16, 2018
(Slow and Steady --OR-- Aggressive New Plan ????)
Weight: 177.2

After reading Bear's entry, decided to make a new afternoon entry for myself as I try to figure out the near future.

I haven't decided how committed I am to staying on-plan for Christmas.  Depends on the day or hour.  One day I'm fully committed to staying on-plan.  The next day I think I should have one cheat day on Christmas.  The next day I think I should stop logging food over vacation and just try to "maintain".  The next day I'm back to thinking I'll just stay on-plan.

I know that any of the plans would work and that it won't matter in the long run as long as they don't cause me to derail or take an extended detour from reaching my goal.  With that said, I'll make a list of pros and cons for each while I'm trying to make a decision.
Plan Pro Con difficulty?
fully On-plan, no cheating

- will feel accomplished on Jan 1st
- will get to goal weight quicker

- will feel deprived, especially on Christmas Day - mostly typical
- hard on Christmas
On-plan w/ Christmas Day cheat day

- hardly any setback to progress
- indulge & enjoy cravings

- can easily snowball into numerous days off-plan
- can cause additional cravings on future days

- mostly typical
- easy on Christmas
- hard after Christmas
try to just "maintain" through vacation - freedom - easy to gain weight and go fully off-plan
- will delay goal by a minimum of 10 days

- easy to go off-plan
- hard to be in control
without structured plan

After reading Bear's entry, I'm again leaning towards staying fully on-plan over vacation.  It would be nice to enter the new year on a positive note with little additional time and effort needed to finally make it to goal.  I would prefer taking a cheat day on Christmas Day itself, but I'm just not confident on my ability to get back on plan the very next day (based mostly on what happened last year).  I don't think trying to "maintain" throughout vacation is a viable option for me.  I think it would be just setting myself up for defeat and a large weight gain.
While I'll have my plan of attack in mind, I know that the final decision won't be made until I sit down for the family dinner on Christmas Day itself.

Progress as of today: 105.8 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
All valid ideas.......and all will probably go like you expect them too...you know yourself better than anyone.......Whichever you end up choosing.......a big glass of water before and possibly another with the meal will always be a big help.....But like you say....when you sit down for the holiday meal....you will decide and that's just fine.

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
I give you kudos for thinking this through, and I realize that you are still weighing pros and cons. I also agree with your observation that you may not really know what you're going to do until you're faced with it at the dinner table on Christmas.

Having said that, I would like to share something from MY experience, which I realize that you may or may NOT find helpful, but just putting this out there.

My plan was to have a "relax" day of Saturday, after my weekly weigh-in. It first started out as just the day. It wasn't an all-you-can-eat, but if I wanted something extra or something a little naughty, I could relax about it, as long as I got back on track the next day.

What I found is that sometimes the "relax" day would turn into 3 or 4 days of relaxing, with getting back on track by Tuesday. That was NOT conducive to my goals or how I wanted to live my plan.

Then I found that sometimes, on my "relax" day, I would have a secret eating episode. I don't know if you remember the time I snuck a can of flavored Plantar's peanuts into the basement while watching a movie and ate pretty much to the whole can. It wasn't what I ate, per se, but rather, the secret behavior that disturbed me very much. Very reminiscent of binge eating.

This type of "secret eating" also happened with jumbo marshmallows too. I did not want to go back down the path of binge-eating and restriction, binge & restrict, binge & restrict. Very self-destructive to the self-esteem and no way to live, quite frankly.

I found that if getting back on plan was "hard", then it wasn't worth it - to me - to go off plan until I knew I was in a stronger place, mentally (whatever), to really get right. back. on. plan.

My 2 cents...

graindart on 12/17/2018:
That's why I know the smart move for me right now is to stay on-plan even on Christmas Day. I know I'm just not in a place mentally that will ensure a one day cheat day remains only one day.

Even though I know what the smart move is.....and currently plan to follow it, I know that it could all fly out the window as soon as I sit down at the dinner table on Christmas.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
Def not ignoring you...just need to caught up later i'm going to write more once it's around 5pm here... :-)...

graindart on 12/17/2018:
Relax and don't feel obligated or rushed to respond. Take care of the real world first. It really doesn't matter if I get responses once per day or once per week. Definitely don't feel like you need to respond to each an every entry or response I leave.

There are some days that I'm bored, so respond on here more often. Other times I'll let it go longer periods when I'm busy.

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
I like your different ways of thinking about options and actually putting them into options and writing them down. that's a lot more than less experienced dieters than you do...and that's the TOTAL DIFFERENCE between people who can maintain and learn to be moderate or at least be conscious of a decision and the CONSEQUENCES. very good entry for addressing components like the aforementioned!

thanks for the reminder to be with the "real world" first... this DD site helps me so much at work bc i can take a break and it's a nice diversion to work. it's fun for me to do at work (for brief periods, of course!) ;)

nobody is telling you to eat one meal a day on vacation...you can do a "modified" plan on vacation???????? what about some of your plan and some not!?

horn_of_plenty on 12/17/2018:
i don't mean some days on or some meals on, i mean some kinda mesh of plan vs off plan. ????

graindart on 12/17/2018:
I'm a lightswitch right now. On or off. I'm hoping to develope a "dimmer" mode setting in the near future that will allow me moderation in maintenance-land. But for now it's either full on or full off.

login to leave comments

Maria7 - Sunday Dec 16, 2018
(Prayer and counting calories)
Weight: 155.0

 Luke 2:11-14 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.




fireplaceanimwchairgif.gif image by autumn1234567


Hello to you...

Hoping you are each enjoying this beautiful Christmas season.  Eating is going well...not denying treats but not going overboard, either.  If I think I might give in to the old habit, 'nite-time snack-binging', I quickly pray a prayer and ask the Lord to help me not to eat anymore for the rest of the day and He does.  This works well for me.  I still have beverages, water, or juice but do not eat anymore til the next day.  I am not losing any but I do not want to find any, either, ha!  Sometimes we just have to find a place where we can be at ease with our accomplishments, even though this does not mean we have reached the goals we have set for ourselves at present, but this means we are going to enjoy life and be thankful for where we are at.  Many of you have lost a lot more weight than I have and are sailing along on your path to your goal weight and I congratulate you on your success you have thus far acheived as well as everyone else here who has put forth an effort toward their goal weights.  To lose one pound is to deny ourselves 3500 calories through lesser daily food or more physical activity or a combination of both, so it is no easy job to do!  I orginally lost 50 pounds in one year in 1998, from 205 down to 155.  I did not do it wisely and paid for it but I learned my lesson to not starve myself, ha.   

Wishing you all a blessed Christmas!

nativeamericanwomanandcanoeanimgif.gif image by autumn1234567


Hope you are having a good day...

Remember, every day with our Lord Jesus is a good day!

 photo IndianWomanWaving.gif

Love, Maria





Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
You're doing so well! I'm very proud of you!!!!

I'm looking forward to Christmas with my little family.

Maria7 on 12/16/2018:
Congrats to you, too and hoping you have a wonderful Christmas with your family. I am telling myself, just enjoy the beautiful Christmas season and trust the Lord to take care of what we can't take care of! Smile! Have a beautiful, happy day!

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
You are so right Maria........This is OUR LIFE...we can never forget that while we are working on something...we are still supposed to live our lives......You have learned how to handle things and I commend you for that......Have a Merry Christmas!

Maria7 on 12/16/2018:
Thank you and I am still learning, as we all are. Every day is a blessing. Hoping you have a merry Christmas, too! :-)

graindart on 12/16/2018:
Hoping that I can transition to maintenance soon and maintain as well as you, HOP, and Donkey have. Gaining the weight is easy. Losing the weight is miserable, but I can usually get in a groove and do it somewhat successfully. Maintaining........I've never really done it. Think I have a plan for it this time. Otherwise I'll be stuck in this gain/lose cycle forever (and the gain side of the cycle seems to win more often than not).

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
yep, i am so glad grains read your entry :) it's true, life is meant to be mostly livable, rather than suffering as in starving oneself...unless you aren't bothered by it. Me, i cannot do the fasting thing as i feel totally horrible when i do...i prefer to stretch out my foods throughout the day.

like you, i have also experimenting with less than healthy ways of weightloss...maintenance is the best way, once you get there :) it's the most fun and easiest for me and on my mind!

login to leave comments

BearCountryGG - Sunday Dec 16, 2018
(Between 1,200 and 1,500 calories a day and WW)
Weight: 0.0

So many downsizing plans for the new year.....weight...less shopping.....more using up what we already have.....Getting everything organized once and for all...especially the basement.....killing a little time drinking coffee this morning and the program called Hoarders came on....and the Dr asked the lady hoarder how many things she thinks others keep from their childhood and she said EVERYTHING!!!!!!  Right at that minute I wanted to RUN downstairs and start getting rid of things.  I know my total theme for next year.....it will be LESS.....Less weight, less food, less shopping, less spending, less stuff in general.  It will be the year of cleaning out the stuff....It will be the year of exercising, moving around more and getting rid of what is left of the excess weight...it will be the year of saving money instead of spending money on things that are not really needed...but that do end up needing maintenance, dusting, cleaning, storing and moving around..........

I'm thinking that on January 1st...I will probably get back into pics of meals....along with the food stats.  I still plan on avoiding the scales until I can get into the target outfit.........still contemplating continuing with WW.......it's basically unnecessary as long as I continue to count calories.......dropping it would save $20 a month.....not really an issue...but it would work into the downsizing plan. 

I also plan to record any TV programs I want to see...and keep my TV OFF ALL DAY...that will keep me moving more and will get a lot of things done around here that will also help burn cals.........I think it all works together in a way that each element supports all of the other elements.........I'm looking forward to January 1st!


Donkey on 12/16/2018:
Making the MOST out of LESS - right? I love it! Spending less is definitely on my agenda for 2019 -- except that we have a few $$$ projects that must get done this year. Well, now looking at this, maybe I'll prioritize these into longer planning stages, to give me more time to save up money.

It's been a while since I've been this optimistic about an upcoming new year! I can't wait to read about your 2019 journey!

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
One thing nice about spending less on frivolous things...it does make it easier to pay for the bigger projects......I'm really looking forward to the new year...probably more than ever too....I think it is going to be a really good one.

Maria7 on 12/16/2018:
Like you say, less is more lots of times... Better to have more space and less accumulations taking up space we could be enjoying clutter-free. I donated a lot of things I had in storage in the closets and didn't look back and was happy I was blessed to be able to do it...things I had stored for many years. Freed up a lot of space and I love the space that doing this provided. Hope you have a happy day and congrats on your progress.

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
So many things from my parents house...have just beed stored for 4 years now......My kids asked for the things they wanted...and I have no doubt they will not want much of what is left......i don't want to burden them with unwanted things...we will once again...be donating a lot of things over the next few months......My Mom used to say that it is our things that hold our houses down...I used to tell her I believed in gravity....LOL

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
OMG reading this makes me want to go thru my closets and do ANOTHER cleaning for good will. Oh, i'd fill a few bags! But, not now! everything is clean and organized. I have so many of certain things: jeans & leggings for instance as well as larger t-shirts for sleeping in that i do not have to purchase these things for YEARS to come! same with fleece pants.

what i always have less of, for some reason or another, is t-shirts of the smaller, feminine variety, long sleeve nice shirts and sweaters. tho, this year, i have fixed that and found a decent amount of sweaters as well as purchased some new. either way, i do not need to spend money on clothes - not even next summer i don't think! i have enough! :) finally! it took some years to also have enough shoes, boots, etc. but finally, i am good.

feels good to have less clutter - i also did a good cleaning up yesterday of all my clothes so that this week will be simple and easy to get thru and by the end i'll still feel put together!

all money saves up. if you can drop something, do it, but if you like WW for things you can learn or pick up or you just like to follow it, i'd suggest keeping it...

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
It seems that the only thing I do on the ww site is figure out points and keep a daily total......I rarely look at the message boards....they aren't like they used to be....so I'm not drawn to them....i don't read their hints....i've seen the same hints for so many years that I get bored easily...LOL...I don't really follow recipes of any kind anymore....I'm more of a "fly by the seat of my pants cook"....Years ago when I baked a lot...I used recipes because baking kind of demands that...but regular cooking...NOPE....I used to love a show called DOOR KNOCK DINNERS...where I think it was Gordon Ramsey...but I may be wrong...would knock on a strangers door and go in and create a dinner out of whatever he found there for the family...loved that show......That is how I cook......I get meat out of the freezer in the morning...and then throw something together at noon...Actually I think that show was based in NY...so I think cookbooks are going to be then next thing I start donating...I can look anything up online now.....no need to dust books anymore.

graindart on 12/16/2018:
Your upbeat optimism about the new year is contagious. It's only a couple weeks away, but I haven't really thought about it much.

Think you've motivated me to at least make a new entry as I'm trying to figure out my plan of attack.

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
It is a good starting point for ideas that we want to achieve.....May just help keep us on track....easier.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
Good idea to trash the things you do not need like the cookbooks. sometimes it's nice to have the actual book in your hand, but, if you no longer need those that you have, great idea to throw out.

i have sooo much more cleaning to do, also. i need to free up space. not to buy more, just to have less clutter. but it will wait. most things i have now, i don't really want to throw out. i will just wait to wear them when the things i have now are full of holes! ...i have a lot of extras.

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
It's funny how things that just seem to appear......I have so many things that seemed like a good idea at the time...LOL

Donkey on 12/17/2018:
Kind of piggie-backing onto Horn's comment above (2 above), it seems to me that you do better when you are connected to WW. I'm not sure why, but that's what I've observed. Therefore, WW might be one of the things you hang onto for a little longer in 2019.

I do honestly think that you will get to the point where you can let WW go and just live in the "WW way" -- however you adjust it to work for you. Just saying, and I do this all the time, we discard things that maybe we should have held onto for just a little longer.

BearCountryGG on 12/17/2018:
I can see the usefullness of it....it does push me to eat more of the zero foods....and they aren't always the lowest calories...........but they are the healthiest and the lowest carb/sugar.....I think I am covered with WW until April....so I don't have to decide right now.....

login to leave comments

graindart - Sunday Dec 16, 2018
(Slow and Steady --OR-- Aggressive New Plan ????)
Weight: 177.2

Day 82 completed successfully.

Had a lower calorie day where I avoided salt to a greater degree.  This meant only 1 bag of my 100 cal popcorn and with a much lower sodium based sprinkle on top.  So it was nice to see the scale swing the preferred way again as a "reward" for me being extra good yesterday.

I don't know if other people's scales swing as much as mine tend to.  Not unusual to see 1-2 lb variation from day to day on my scale with little reason why.  I don't complain when it swings in the "right" direction of course, but hate seeing the temporary swing in the wrong direction.  

But today the scale swung in the "right" direction, so all is "right" with the world. 

On to conquer day 83....

Progress as of today: 105.8 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
Well....look at that!!! Congrats on the successful weigh in and congrats on taking control of the pop corn!!! I think everyones scales do that....They say the only TRUE scale reading is the big old cumbersome scales at the doctors.......and that is probably true...I know WW used to say that it was a good thing to get in line for the same scale each week...( they always had 3). That one day of less salt made a big difference....probably less cals helped too........

graindart on 12/16/2018:
I enjoy the popcorn and salt so much. With giving up so much other junk food, it's the main food I look forward to every day.

I enjoy other foods daily, but really have to watch portion sizes for the other stuff. With the popcorn in 100 cal bags, it's easy to enjoy without going over calorie allotment.

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
Well done!

My scale used to swing a lot as well, and not always in a logical sense. I mean, eat huge bowl of ice cream for dessert, drop 3 pounds <-- that kind of insanity. I seem to be at a point in my life where the numbers have stabilized +/- 1-2 pounds.

Wow, are you going for the 100 day mark? I just noticed you're on day 83!!!

graindart on 12/16/2018:
Don't know when the streak of days will end this time. No real goal attached there, just trying to get to my goal weight number. Having cheat days just prolongs the amount of time that it takes to get to goal, so I've been trying to avoid them.

Might decide to have a cheat day on Christmas, but then again that turned into 10 days of off-plan eating last year. One cheat day wouldn't matter in the greater scheme of things. My fear is that if I cheat one day, I'll continue doing it until we get back from vacation.

So might make it to 100 days in a row, might not......

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
In the supermarket i walked by the popcorn and thought of you! I bought bags labeled as 100 cal instead of my typical 200 cal single serve orville redinbachers. i said to myself, why waste cals on so much popcorn when i could have 100 cal bags! so, i bought them, sorta because i've been reading about you eating all these 100 cal popcorn bags!

YES, my scale varies day to day. Some days is where i want it, some days it's a pound or two different. more recently it's just a lb swing either way.

if i am running around and dinner is not bulky and i'm really just eating smaller portions, or dehydrated, the scale will show a bigger dip in the morning but only like you said - an artificial dip.

graindart on 12/16/2018:
Kind of like every time I walk past kombucha in the supermarket, since I read the word kombucha on your entries most days.

And I do love my popcorn lately. Was walking around Bed Bath and Beyond with my daughter and noticed that they had additional popcorn seasonings that I haven't tried. I think they included biscuits & gravy, dill pickle, and BBQ. I like real biscuits and gravy, but don't know that I want my popcorn tasting like it. Didn't buy any of the new flavors since I'm trying to limit my popcorn intake for the next week. Just trying to be extra good right before vacation.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
when my scale gets a couple pounds higher i start to have to manage my eating better. part of the reason i've stayed so long as of late at the higher calorie range is that i've been able to step on the scale and also wear my clothes and not have too many issues...otherwise, i would have had to lower my calories, since there's no way i'm managing in MORE exercise at this point.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
lol you remind me of ME in the supermarket today! i saw some kinda nice chocolate cake souffle dessert and was tempted to buy them bc they were on sale, but didn't do it...because i'm into making my own desserts and didn't like the idea of taking the "easy approach of a dessert you heat up already premade in the oven...". it looked good, not too much sugar, mostly fat.

then, there were new ice creams, sorta light. i decided on those.

there were also new brands and flavors of kombucha at this supermarket, of course i bought those!

haha....i'm surprised you didn't buy the seasonings. what if you buy some seasonings that don't have salt?...a lil salt is good tho!

bed bath and beyond also i know sells seltzer makers. i still like buying it though...my neighbor i know has one!

graindart on 12/16/2018:
If I bought the seasonings, I'd have to try the seasonings. That would mean eating more popcorn today instead of less. They'll still be there when I get back from vacation, so I'll count not impulse buying them as a small victory for now.

login to leave comments

pinklatte - Sunday Dec 16, 2018
Weight: 245.0

A good day at work. The plan I made worked out better than I hoped.

Tomorrow is my last full day at school before the new year, yay. But I have to make plans for the lessons next weekend, boo. I'm planning to spend the rest of the week at the office, working as fast as possible to get ready for six days' worth of classes. I'll try not to stress out too much over it. But the sooner I can get everything ready, the sooner I can relax and actually spend my vacation time doing vacation things.

I'm tired out just thinking about it.


cocoa (159)
ham and cheese rolls (320)
Red Bull

Lunch salmon rice ball (230)
half a tuna rice ball (110)
veggie sticks with miso mayo dip (150)
chocolates (250)
hot cocoa
Dinner chocolate bread

Wow, I eat a lot of junk.

I didn't make a lunch for myself. I... haven't bought groceries in a long while. Also, I didn't even finish the lunch I did bring. Dinner was actually a post-work snack, I half-planned of going out for dinner later, but it's 8pm and I'm not that hungry.

... I'll probably be very hungry in the morning.

Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only 85 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
Miso mayo dip is new to me....sounds interesting.

graindart on 12/16/2018:
Seems like you really enjoy your carbs. Me too. Unfortunately the more I eat, the more I crave. So I've had to make a conscious choice to cut down on the sugar side of carbs more than I'd like and replace it with some additional protein.

Keep up the fight and enjoy the vacation time.

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
Miso mayo - on my list of things to try!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
actually, your foods do NOT look like junk food to me at all! i think you eat rather well. just maybe add a few more veggies in and a fruit and you are fine! but really, the food is mostly healthy up there.

last week i also didn't eat my planned lunch as often as i'd like...this week i plan to bring the soup that's still leftover - 2 big portions of vegetable soup for Monday and Tuesday and it'd be a crime to waste it as the ingredients were expensive and it's in a very healthy Bone Broth, if you are familiar?

Donkey on 12/17/2018:
I was confused between miso and wasabi. Wasabi mayo sounds like something I'd like to try, LOL. Not sure if that's a product or not.

login to leave comments

Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Dec 15, 2018
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.0

slept in till 10am wrap 80 with my saffron cranberries 40, banana 150, peanut nutter 150, coffee 50 470....

fell back to sleep till 12;30 or so even after coffee

1pm apple large 130

2:30 these chedder cauliflower crackers...interesting strong chedder taste 130

3pm canned pumpkin  100 flavored with chai stevia and pumpkin pie spice and whipped cream 100

Dinner at parents was super healthy salmon, fried potato latkes, cooked Swiss chard sips of wine and small pieces toast but bigger portions and dessert of grapes 

2200 total....happy to get some nutrition in.



doing laundry all laundry including my sheets...putting away last weekend's laundry too...catching up. organizing myself...

last night, the project manager guy never left and stayed till 9 with us...he works in same room as my coworker. so we only got some dinner and ate back at work. so we didn't go out for a drink at all. 

14/16 OT hours done, i have two more to make up next week and then i'm good. 

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/15/2018:
I bet that was kind of disappointing to have the manager stay until 9pm! You're in the home stretch now. You can do 2 more hours.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
it was, but since i did eat well all day and got a bigger dinner since we got food first (we were hoping he'd leave and we'd go to the bar then...)...i was full and calories were high. i was glad not to overindulge then on wine too.

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
Dinner at your parents sounds really good.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
it was GREAT. i slept over to have less stress driving home tired and that was a good idea too! my mom serves great food. :) she did most but i was watching her in the kitchen somewhat.

graindart on 12/16/2018:
I love when I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Only 2 hours left out of 16 would be that time. Knock that out and enjoy your long weekends.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
I will do that....! I'm very glad it's just about over. it'll be awesome to turn in my schedule, completed as proof.!

Maria7 on 12/16/2018:
Hope you are having a blessed day.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
VERY MUCH! I got an opportunity to go to a different supermarket and the cashier was an older lady and so nice, complimenting me. I made sure to listen to her, and wish her a wonderful day. Her name i still remember, Marlene, said her nametag. <3 I passed on the love and happiness i felt to her, and left with a smile!

login to leave comments

Donkey - Saturday Dec 15, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 124.5

I'm leaving for a meeting at the volunteer legal clinic I serve, soon, but was so happy with today's weigh-in that I wanted to share the good news with you!

I didn't follow my plan as much as I should have, but I feel like I learned a lot how to handle these sorts of situations, especially when comparing the Thursday party with the Friday party.

I will post reflections and more after I return home!

EVENING EDIT:  I think I have learned more yesterday and today than I have all year.

More notes about the office party:  I was not as diligent about water intake as I should have been.  Unfortunately, I finished my water bottle (24 ounces = 710 mL) on my drive to the restaurant, so when I got there, I ordered a seltzer water (carbonated water)with a slice of lime.  That was wonderful!  But I should have asked for a refill and I didn't.  I also didn't drink as much water as I had originally intended. If I had my water bottle full of water PLUS the seltzer (12-14 ounces = 400 mL) then I would have been able to drink water like I had wanted to.

So I got to the party, and the 2 male attorneys and the Nice Lady were there.  Nice Lady is attached to the Associate attorney; she's one of those gals who seems to prefer to hang around men than women, I think.  So they had ordered appetizers:  fried cheese curds, fried onion rings, and chicken & cheese quesadillas.  I was so tempted to take one of the quesadillas, scrape everything off of the tortilla and just eat the filling, but that seems kind of rude & obnoxious.  So I had 3 curds (chunks, really), and I think I ended up having 4 onion rings.  I ordered a chef's salad, which was a basic iceburg lettuce salad with a TON of deli meat - the perfect low-carb, keto thing to order.

It was after the salad that I realized that my problem with the pizza party the day before is that I didn't eat enough.  That triggered the "munchy" feeling all afternoon.  I needed to have added more protein to the salad itself.

So lessons learned:

The Thing I Learned Today

So one thing that I didn't mention about Friday that really bothered me last night and still bothers me today is that I totally went off on the copy machine guy that dropped in by surprise on Friday, right before we were closing the office for the party.  I didn't order his service; our real Guy is coming Monday morning to replace parts because this BRAND NEW MACHINE can no longer print jobs from our computers.  I have a feeling that the Girl Who Makes a Million Mistakes ordered this without clarifying with anyone, because that's kind of how she is.

So this guy shows up, I'm like, We didn't order this, we don't want this, you need to leave soon.  He's like, It's a service call, I'm just here to get your copy machine up to where you can make copies and scan.  I think all he did was turn on the machine and then he left.

But it really bothered me that I went off on him like that.  I mean, So what?  What do I care?  Just do my damn work and go to the party.  It's not like I'm the office manager or anything.  Why did I have to be like that?  Why do I always have to be like that?  Testy, impatient, cross?

When I was at the legal clinic meeting today, I was observing other people and what they had to say, and how they acted.  And it just hit me like a thunderbolt:  I AM *REALLY* UNHAPPY.  And this is of my own chosing!  If given a choice, I choose to see the glass half-empty.  I'm quick to point out negatives before positives.  I'm a "Let's get this done" rather than "Let's enjoy this".

The speaker this morning was talking about how each day, he starts his day with Psalms 118:24:  "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice..."  You know what Psalms I wake up to every morning?  Psalms 56:1:  "Be merciful to me, O God, because man would swallow me up; fighting all day he oppresses me."  Yep, every freaking day feels like a battlefield, and I'm sick and tired of fighting this war!

I'm sorry if you've gotten this far, as this really has nothing to do with dieting.  But THIS is part of what I'm going to work on in 2019.  Remember, it's my Year of the Remodel, both outside AND inside.

Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost and already at goal!

graindart on 12/15/2018:
I hate you......and your stupid scale...... :)

But seriously, congratulations on your continued maintenance. Glad your scale is cooperating. Happy to see people that can navigate the regular world and still be mostly in control of their food.

Donkey on 12/15/2018:
Thank you. I have to say, I didn't weigh myself twice, which I usually do (to make sure it's not lying, of course).

I did get a chuckle at your comment ;)

BearCountryGG on 12/15/2018:
Congrats on the drop....and dealing with the holiday festivities well.......when you say you didn't follow your plan as much as you should have....I consider that a shake up......doing something different tricks your body into changing it's tactics....funny how it seems...like our head and our bodies are 2 very different entities......that's why I say I find it easy to trick myself...LOL........the head thinks up new tricks...and the body justs reacts to them....

Donkey on 12/15/2018:
Thank you! It will make more sense when I write about it, but I also had a few bites of non-keto appetizers. That's not what I meant about going "off plan" but that's a good example of doing just that! And surviving it!

BearCountryGG on 12/16/2018:
Love the happiness is a choice option.......

Donkey on 12/16/2018:

graindart on 12/16/2018:
Commenting about some of your later added entry.

Was riding around with the wife last night running errands. One of the topics I brought up was "Why do I let things bother me that have nothing to do with me? Why do I care what other people are doing when it doesn't affect me?".

One of our stops was Walmart, where my oldest nephew works as a cart wrangler. He's 20 and has been working this same entry-level position for the past year or so. I've mentioned to him a couple times that he should cross-train into new positions and work his way up to better positions and higher pay. Something with a possible future. From my perspective he has no drive, still lives at home, doesn't have a full drivers license (learners), relies on mommy to shuttle him back and forth to work, and just watches tv or plays video games in his off time. What he does or doesn't do really doesn't affect me at all. So why does it bother me? Why do I care that he isn't motivated? Currently I choose to dwell on negative thoughts that I don't have control over and that don't affect me. That's just plain dumb on my part......and needs to change.

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
Thank you - this was so helpful to me (more than you know). I'm not alone in this.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
i didn't have access to a computer last night so i waited till i was back in my apt today to write some comments towards this entry bc you def left me with some thoughts i wanted to add!...

firstly, you give more than you give yourself credit for! your volunteering and also the church group you take part in...as well as helping your hubby and kids..those are all ways you give that not everyone in this world does. I hope you smile when you think of all you do for those in need as well as those you love. STAY POSITIVE!

Regarding the office party and things you'd want to do slightly different, like more water, MORE POWER TO YOU! Yes, Jdonk! you are the boss of you and you get to decide and ask for what you want! yes, do not feel ashamed or nervous to speak up for what you want in these situations :) i'm totally with you on ordering another glass of seltzer, etc. :)

will write more after i post this in fear of losing a comment...

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
What's done is done. All I can do is learn from it, which I have, and try to become a better person.

I may be too hard on myself - in fact, I'm sure I am, as many folks would just say WTF and move on.

But I think you and I have learned this year that, at work, we just need to SHUT UP. I really would like to make that my focus at work in 2019: more listening, less talking.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2018:
well, that is weird she ordered a diff mach service guy. i guess you were caught at an inconvenient time hence what happened between you and him...you can forget it now though as it's really not a big deal. However, to prevent it from happening again, you (or whoever is in charge of ordering the printer repair people / copier machine service tech) may need to communicate with the person who most prob ordered the wrong person...to prevent it happening again :)

You are more than capable of turning the cup around, per se and seeing it as half full :) At other times in my life, i have def ONLY been the "poor me" thinker at all times. so i understand. but of course thru more reading as now i'm reading daily on my commute which adds to like 40 min of reading time both ways per day....so, yeah, like 1.5 hours of available time to read everyday!...well, back to my point: now that i'm reading, soul searching,learning and changing, i cannot help but see through myself and more how people grow and change in the world. and my point is this: THE CHOICES WE MAKE ARE WHAT MANIFEST WHO WE BECOME IN THE END.

what i'm saying is, you ARE in control of your destiny. you ARE in control of your happiness too. keep your head up. take time to do for yourself.

also, i'd like to mention that i was not in a good state of mind when i was eating too low carbs...i'm not saying low carb, i'm saying "too" low carb. i need the seratonin and other stuff that carbs provide to keep my mind at ease. you may need this too if you are feeling so down? i could be wrong. i'm just saying.

i love keto stuff too though. and a lot of what i make and bake will continue to be more of that realm.

Just if you are feeling down, i urge you to do things in your life that will bring you up. maybe you need a change...then again, you said that's what you want to do in 2019! so, like i said earlier, that is MORE POWER TO YOU.

i am totally in your boat with all you are looking to change and adapt in 2019...i have similar goals. and they are wonderful goals to have. keep your head up. and try to be thankful for what you have...see it the other way of how you are doing a lot better than those less fortunate. i'm easily reminded of this everyday, usually on my commute is the biggest and most apparent reminder..

Donkey on 12/16/2018:
THANK YOU for reminding me that sometimes being too low on the carbs can really affect how we react. I will really try hard to remember this.

I'm gonna start a list of daily reminders to focus on in 2019, like a mantra.

login to leave comments