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kombucha 60

apple muffins/yogurt 400, coffee 50

snack: almonds? 100

lunch: with the casserole 250 and half another piece 125...tomato and greens with dressing 200 tops, popcorn? 575..600; getting a coffee at work too. popcorn 50, white choc easter eggs minis 50 (OMG SO GOOD! a new candy i never tried!)

snack: fruit? have a bunch here at work..100 2 plums

7:45PM DINNER 2 lg peaches before they spoil 200...latte 200...chips lol 200

2000 good

....

Another meeting (union administrative  / office division that happens every other month only)  tonight @ 6pm no longer than 7pm...then weights tonight at home obiously not just leaving to get to gym at 7:30 that'd be NUTZ.

i should use the laser soon (skipped it for 2 weeks but i'm at the end of the process anyways) 

meeting was  educational :)

What a whirlwind of a long weekend...

We drove over 8 hours each way so that I could take a specialist's course in Pain Free Performance. I am now certified to coach a more specialized approach to movement and form!

My exercise over the weekend consisted mostly of walking, and one thing we learned over the weekend - bracing. I did a short gym workout on Sunday. 

In the last few months, I have NEVER felt so sore in my body than I did yesterday and so far today. "bracing" is amazing. And by 'sore' I mean that in a good way - like i've affected my muscles more in two short days than I have in the last three months put together.

I only picked up a weight about three times, otherwise I mainly focused on my form, breathing, and 'bracing'. My muscles were shaking they were working so hard.

I will do more research and more work in the coming months, but my initial plan is to incorporate this type of work into my 'race' season training - which will begin soon - to see if I can affect changes in musculature and neurological patterning. I learned a lot over the two days of the course, but there is so much more I can learn. Exciting times...

Having said that, I am looking forward to relaxing tonight LOL. Who thinks I will actually relax and NOT get on the bike i've been missing for the last four days?!!

Also - March is time for nutrition work. No more junkity junk.

The one thing I likee about being in the military is that I got to move around every four to five years. Right now, I wish I could leave and go somewhere else...my five years are almost up here and I am way more than ready to go to a different base! ...If only.

The weekend was ok. Saturday we went shopping (without a list - so this was just pointless) I have no menu prepared and I have no clue what I want to prepare and/or eat. We did get out on a hike on Saturday afternoon, which was nice.

Work is slow and will be until next week. I struggle to get through the day.

Tonight I get the girl and I have no clue what is for dinner.

Have a great day! IP

So yesterday was awful,  still feeling the effects of that client who screamed at me last week.  My boss is aware but remains neutral.  I think that's how he remains calm and happy.   Maybe he's on to something there. :-)

I was so done after work that I stayed home and rode my bike.  I had  intended to do weights too but that didn't happen.  Husband and daughter went to the gym and said it was REALLY busy, so I'm kind of glad I didn't go. Maybe tonight,  if the weather cooperates. 

We were supposed to get this big snow over 3 days, starting today,  but now it looks like it will just be a  dusting overnight, so the gym might be a possibility. 

My next personal challenge is to attend yoga classes at the gym.  Although I'm not exactly a beginner, I think that's where I will start. 

Still trying to eat less and have been doing ok with that.  I've essentially cut out my afternoon snack. 

no kombucha, got up so late i admit didn't shower, just cleaned off a bit outside of it with wipes...yeah. very rushed.

i have a sore throat, but not bad. i hope to feel better by weekend, if i can get enough rest / sleep. I am NOT very sick just have something VERY minor right now.

Breakfast: apple cake larger piece 250, coffee 50, yogurt 150. 450.

snack: tbd almonds? 100

lunch: the squash casserole, all week ! :) 300, salad 50, goldfish 200. 550-600

snack: fruit? and dried fruit 200, almonds 50

1400

At meeting: cool pizza dough with roasted veggies and no cheese which is funny bc I had cheese at lunch so this worked well 300, diet soda, wine back at home 150

1900 tops :-)

evening 30 min bike ride on stationary:)

dinner: not sure, found out i have a meeting to Optionally attend, but thinking i will, as i 'm taking off this coming THURSDAY so i may as well attend the meeting and see what it's about...its the religious club in the union that i sometimes go to... maybe i'll even get food out of it, but not promising, bc i will show up for the meeting and not dinner.

 Hi everyone! Just to give you all an update, starting in Jan 2019, I got back up to 294.8. After over a year of hard work and dedication to intermittent fasting, no alcohol, and cutting bread and stuff, I'm back down to 241.6. I've lost 53.2 lbs total

My goal is to get to 211, and then the ultimate goal would be under 200lbs

Hope you all have been well.

 Kombucha 80-100

bowl Onyxorgum 250 almond milk 50 taste of a recipe I am making 50, iced coffee 50  and a chocolate 50

a bowl of my squash casserole (photo above) very tasty 250 chips 200

1000...

chips 100, veggies 100, spiked seltzer 150, candies and berries 100

1450

550, 100

2100

 30 min on bike was my exercise..decent.  i was standing up a bit all morning for cooking :) 

have class and got up really late .... was 5 min late today but didn't miss anything though not good .....

 Kombucha 50

choco 200, coffee 50

wrap and egg and avocado 350...

3pm full meal after class strawberries 50, microwave pizza 350, extra cheese 50, iced coffee 50...500, pack of dried jackfruit 100. 600.

lots of cabbage 200, chips 3 big servings 500! ...700 maybe a taste of ice cream 150

2100. Good

not sure if I still want the gym because it's getting very late and tomorrow I am mostly out of the apartment -  I think I'll just stay home because I can exercise and do laundry and cook ....if I go to gym the day will end quicker and I'll do less...

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snack and gym today after class....not home or couch...just home to change for gym :)

will try to pay for a day pass...

 Remembered to weigh in this morning.  The weight is slowly coming back down.  I might have had a lower number but ate mindlessly at dinner and had a whole chicken breast!

I had an epiphany last week that the reason my weight is up is because I've been eating too much!  So if I want results,  I have to do the hard work,  and most of the struggle is on my plate. 

With the exception of last night's dinner,  I've been working hard to be very mindful of what I'm eating .

I plan to go to the Fancy Gym this weekend.  Had yoga Thursday and last night,  so I couldn't go. 

edit: decided on the "on my couch" option to studying and I'm ok with that! It's now 3:30 though and I'm deciding to take a drive to the supermarket so I can pick up groceries for the week including kombucha and yogurt... if I wait longer I'll be out when it's dark ....and actually after I pick up groceries I'm going for a walk :)

Good Morning :) Very thankful for being able to take a vacation day today. 

I slept easily 10 hours from around 11pm to 9am.

I didn't yet make plans for today as i was pretty busy at work yesterday and didn't get around to making plans for today. but that's ok :) i wanted today to be sort of relaxed.  I will get in a few things, for sure, even probably laundry...trying to free up my weekend as Saturday i have the class from 9-2pm and Sunday i was able to make plans with my friends for most of the day.

I'll write my potential plans here :)

- signing up for a local 6 hour defensive driving class (rather not take it online at home / work computer not the best idea either)  DONE 

 - most importantly - read all the material for the class i'm taking - or at least skim thru it....to be done at library. OR ON MY COUCH ..and i might as well go next door to library to union hall to change my medical appointments bc i have a conflict, again, lol...they are on a saturday that i thought i'd have free but things changed since that initial plan! :)

- vaccuum (before leaving apt) DONE 

- walk outside - but not too long as it's very cold today  (1.5-2mi) (doesn't have to be done in 1 shot...) 45 min DOBE 

- plan a recipe for spaghetti squash (i enjoy the research online myself) decided on spaghetti squash casserole with ricotta mozzarella and spinach -- will go to fairway today for ingredients 

- use stationary bike (30min) MAYBE NOT 

- use 5 min on stepper (5min) MAYBE NOT 

- do laundry this evening or later afternoon (possibly or Sunday) NOT TODAY 

______________________________________________________

9:30 Breakfast  cereal 250, almond milk 50, iced coffee 50, and an apple muffin 120. total 470-500. 
 

12:30 lunch wrap 110 with avocado 150 and turkey bacon 150 400, chips 250, whole bag of jackfruit no sugar added 100

Snacks 200 candies, iced coffee, strawberries 

dinnet salad with dressing 150, Mac and cheese 350, chips 50 600 kombucha 

2100 today 

did a 45 minute walk outside. No other exercise and that's ok :) now back to studying 

I'm changing gears here......food is going really well.....concentrating on lots of different things that I want and need to do. 

Putting food at the end of my list of thoughts just because it works better for me........also cutting my stress levels and doing a lot of meditation and yoga and exercycle/rebounder.

I crave contentment and relaxation yet I tend to sabotage myself at times.....so I'm once again cutting back on all electronics just because I know they add to my sedentary hours and become a apparent reason to not be busy...

So...I will check in to see how you gals are doing from time to time.....

Taking a break and getting my priorities straightened out.

I was talking to a therapist and he says...you either do or don't...you can't change your mind or change horses in midstream. He is so right. I was doing well on the WFPB, I made a little progress and then gove in.  It was Christmas Eve, DH says lets get KFC...because it was our tradition, to eat KFC every Christmas Eve. OK and then Christmas Day he cooked Prime Rib and it was delicious and then it just went on from there. But from the end of August until Christmas Eve I was great! What inside of me just threw all of that away for a KFC half@ss tradition.

Oh well, have a few things going on this weekend and the weather will actually be pretty nice. so maybe get a hike in or two.

I'll worry about food another day. Scale is steady.

Have a great weekend.

 So yesterday,  a client SCREAMED at me on the phone because I wouldn't apologize for the other party's attorney's mistake.  We're the Buyer and the Seller's attorney made the mistake. 

I was so taken aback that I was physically shaking.  I developed a headache and could not see nor think clearly.  So I went home early.

I've been trying to shake this off but was completely off balance at Fast-Slow yoga last night.  I also did not sleep very well last night,  with waking up at 12:13am and unable to go back to sleep until over an hour later. 

So I'm sure you can imagine how much I do NOT want to go to work today.  But all I can hope is to reset myself mentally over the weekend. 

To help in this reset,  I am attending a yoga restorative workshop tonight,  taught by last night's instructor.   It will be a larger group of 9 or possibly 10.  I signed up for this in January,  but who knew how much I would need this now. 

kombucha 50

yogurt 150 and 2 mini apple muffins 250 coffee 50.

500

lighter lunch: tofu 150, brussel sprouts 100 - 250..., chocolate 100, orange 50

1 candy 50

dinner salad 150, microwavable eggplant parm 550, wine 150-200 900 tops

1850 :)

___________________________________________________

Over the phone i was saying i was tired when i got home at 9pm,  Mom told me last night that "9pm" is not too late to exercise and all of a sudden i see myself doing leg exercises last night at 9pm...i am tired today though (but maybe it's normal tired?) anyways, went to bed later, around 11pm. all is good, tomorrow is a vacation day for me - and i want to plan the day out tonight..it will include some reading of the course material i'm taking. 

this am i got in pushups, but was late to work due to train delays :( should have been easy since schools are out this week :(

tonight i'll do my upper body exercises.....may go to a gym after class on Saturday :) still deciding.

Just a short update today...

THURSDAY - Bike 43 kilometers, all fun! The last one was a bit of a race and I ended up in 11th place out of 92 women. Not too shabby!

Made rice and chicken for supper, but I skipped making any vegetables. I'll definitely have to make some tonight. At least it's better than the junk fest I had the night before...

BF comes to my place tonight, and then we leave for the big city tomorrow. I have a workshop to attend over the weekend and it's about an 8 hour drive each way - tell you all about it when I get back next week! Back Tuesday!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Drank kombucha and did situps in AM quickly...drove to the train and got a spot so i can go to appt, drive, directly after i get off train....i know this doesn't make sense, but it's good..

kombucha 50

breakfast: 2 small apple muffins 250, coffee 50, yogurt 150. 450

snack the other muffin mentioned above, almonds 100

lunch: tofu up to 150 cal and leftover Indian food: small bit potato 50, lots of spinach creamed 300?, possibly some crackers 150..650.

snacks: plum / persimmon 50

1300

starbucks 350

light meal 400

2050

  (remember to leave early at 4:40...)

early dinner: starbucks egg bites? starting to get sick of them though...maybe the egg white bites or a sandwich, not really sure.

7pm is my appointment tonight, ends at 7:45pm. Will not visit parents before or after.

Will study before appointment, sit in waiting room and read thru the Project Manager textbook pages..I hope to get to the therapy waiting room / office around  6:00-6:30pm.  so i have about 30 min to study? 

(leaving work around 4:40pm) get to car by around 5:20pm..drive there by around 6:30pm?..we shall see :)

Yesterday was a mish mash of good and bad...

GOOD - I forced myself to not get on the bike in the morning, even though I was up and eager to.

BAD - I sat in my office most of the day and didn't move around much. I could have used my standing desk, but I was extra lazy.

GOOD - I was able to check a few things off my work list so that I have less to do next week (i'll be off Friday and Monday and the work tends to stack up when i'm gone for more than a day at a time).

GOOD - I forced myself to not get on the bike right after work, even though I was still eager to LOL.

BAD - Instead of biking, I sat on the couch and ate through an entire bag of chips. Yep, I did that.

BAD - The more I just sat around, the more tired I felt. Took a nap - which is not all bad, unless you nap for about as long as you'd sleep.

GOOD - When I woke up, I got on the bike. It was a nice recovery ride that lasted just over an hour. Got the heart pumping. 

BAD - Ate a proper meal, and then followed it up with cake. I just couldn't stop eating all the crap yesterday.

BAD - Stayed up late watching Blind Date on Netflix. What a stupid show, and yet - so addicting. When my alarm went off this morning, i'm pretty sure I groaned and maybe cried out loud a little bit.

It's unusual for me to behave this way; I think my body was still exhausted from snowshoeing and I may have been feeling sorry for myself. It happens. Gotta just shrug it off and keep moving forward.

Part of the reason for this slight skid downhill could also be because of the training program I started on the bike. It's kind of insane - they want you to complete five rides each week, and i'll be honest with you - almost all of the rides i've done so far were really hard. It's just too much. This is the second week where i've skipped workouts to do fun rides instead. But then the OCD part of me is really upset that I keep skipping the workouts. I think I should drop the program.

I'm starting today with a new attitude...........

I'm committed to doing things even if they are hard.  I'm committed to doing things even if I don't want to because I should.  I'm accepting that some things just have to be completed rather I want to or not.  Life does not have to be lived doing only the fun and easy.  Doing only the fun and easy leaves me feeling unfulfilled and empty.  Today....it's time for me to grow up...WOW...that took a long time...but it isn't too late.

I'm excited and ready to begin........

After writing the statements above....I got up and gathered all of the laundry, made the bed and then made breakfast........a much different picture than most days........no cropping the pic today.........sending the entire pic untouched.

Breakfast was 2 fried eggs over easy ( definately out of my comfort zone because I don't care for runny yolks), 1/4 of a roasted potato fried in 1 t. olive oil and a cup of coffee = 6 points and 226 cals.

Took a bath and washed my hair which by the way I have put off for the last 2 days...and it crossed my mind again today BUT,,,I refused to let myself off today...this is the day of DO....for me...and now I am glad!  Loaded the washer and getting things done...things that I have been putting off. 

Today I have an attitude of gratitude

Today I learn from the past but that just makes good changes sweeter

No excuses today....no reasons why...no putting things off

Today I make good things happen and then grow from there

breakfast: too rushed for kombucha before work, yogurt 150, muffin 250, coffee 50..450-500

snack almonds cocoa dusted 100

didn't even pack lunch, just rushed out in the AM... truffle mac and cheese microwavable meal, very satisfying, two med tomatoes. 550-600, plum 50

4:20pm chocolate 100, so good.

1350

dinner: will def be chicken breast good larger 300? serving chips 250, squash soufflé microwaveable 200 750 good 

2100 good 

what i wanted to bring for lunch) on a wrap, maybe with a salad or a pepper or something...and also maybe with avocado

After work tonight: leg exercises only, look over notes...

I'm feeling the need to sit down today and decide just what it is that is most important to me to accomplish.  I did this at the beginning of the year ( or the end of 2019).....and put it into action...but found myself moving away from the schedule........I need to get back to that......so once again..I will sit down with pen and paper and tweek the plans........There is plenty to do...more than enough to keep me busy, yet....it can look overwhelming when I look at the big picture......it worked so much better when I broke things down into blocks of time....small bites that come together to make the whole work.  Where I get in my own way is not following the plan........there is a huge part of me that just wants to wing it...and that messes up the plan.

I am super happy with the decision to shop only once a month......and I'm looking forward to seeing what the last week or last few days of the month looks like supply wise........Growing up in a family that had what we needed...but were savers.....no matter what it meant that we ate.....growing up with grandparents that could feed a family of nine with just a few bags of cornmeal, flour, sugar and a chicken.......and a little rice.......showed me that it is entirely possible to survive in a way that is a lot less stressful and a lot more simple.  Of course we have higher standards today.........but is the happiness higher or lower today?  I wonder. 

I feel so fortunate that I have had so many oportunities to see so many sides of life in my time on earth.  I spent so much of my childhood and early adult years in the inner city.....in some very dangerous areas, yet we survived and thrived anyway.  I grew up with several adults that made it work while working towards bettering our lives and figuring out how to keep ourselves on a path to happiness as well as security.  I had dirt poor grandmas that I adored...parents who wanted better.....and a husband and partner who had a goal and a dream.......and I now realize that in my old age...I have many people to thank for teaching me so much.  I owe all of them a huge thank you for being such a great example of hard work and commitment and drive .........and the best way I can thank them ( aside from telling them in person or looking to the sky with a silent prayer)....is to take what I have learned and put it to use...........it's too easy to be complacent and want without putting in the work...when those around me have provided so much.  I need to kick my own butt....I need to make my own life more rewarding.....my job really is so simple.....yet.....I put things off.......I like to sit down too much......I like to live the easy, sedentary, and lazy life.  I am a person who has not expected a lot from myself...even though...I have had many wonderful examples of hard work..........I sat back.........I enjoyed the spoils......and I gave myself a pass to be lazy............now.........I find that very unfullfilling........I want more from myself....I have lots of things to do....that need to be done........and the fact that I keep putting them off until another day is causing me to be quite unhappy with myself.  I need to put what I know into use....get off my butt and get to work.  I like things a certain way but I lack the desire to actually do them....I guess I want them to happen magically.  Unfortunately I like perfection and if I can't do something perfectly....I often don't start.......That is a perfect example of OCD.....guilty!!!!!  What I have been ignoring is that if I never start......nothing will ever be perfect either.  Today.......I kick my OCD in the butt and get to work...all across the board.......just because....I have to.

Last night I found a bag of Jif peanut powder unopened in a bin......It expired in April 2016....today....I added it to my Fage 0% yogurt........it looked normal and while I can't say it tasted great.....it was fine.....added a good source of protein....and I will continue to use it up.....the fact that it didn't taste great was not because it was old and expired...it was because I have never loved peanut powder...no mold or sign of deterioration.......just something that never tasted good.......I'm going to keep eating this until it's gone...it provides nourishment....and that is all that is necessary........I still have WW even though I have not been motivated by it lately......it was low cal, high nutrition and I spent precious money on it and I will be eating it until it's gone......I need to teach myself some lessons now.

Glucose was great this morning at 95

Breakfast = coffee, 1/2 cup Fage 0% mixed with 3T of jif powdered peanuts = 2 WW points and 132 calories

Edit

Donkey hit the nail on the head.....it isn't laziness...it's anxiety,  I have tendencies of several anxiety behaviors....and while i have known it myself....i may have never voiced them out loud!

1.  Agoraphobia...while I can go out in public and I do....and I can enjoy it...as long as I know I can leave if I want to.....it started with morning sickness back in 1966 with my first pregnancy.

2.  Fear of running out of food......it started in 1999 with the coming of 2000 and the possibility that the world would somehow change...so I stocked up on excess food ( I had never done that before)........and it continues today with a grocery stockpile for emergencies.  I guess you could call it food hoarding.  From 1966 until 1999 we often got low on food but never missed a meal...and I didn't care.

3.  Fear of running out of things to do........this is rediculous just because it is!!!!  But it's real...I hate the feeling of being in a hotel room...because there is little to do...it is similar to staying at my Mothers while caring for her...her house...her rules, very little of my own things there.  Sometimes I leave things undone...just so that everything is unfinished...really rediculous and I know that!  And the fact is...there is LITERALLY no way I could ever run out of things to do!

4.  Fear of succeeding at anything...because when you succeed at something the bar changes and you have to maintain it and that feels like pressure without the fun of getting there.

It's funny....for so many years I woke up to an alrm clock buzzing...and would hit the snooze button for just 5 more minutes of sleep....trying to put off starting my day.......then retirement happened and no need for an alarm clock.....so i get up when I feel like it..and it usually about the time we got up for work years ago.......and when i put myself on a mandatory schedule now...just one of my own making.....I want to once again hit the snooze button...and not get up.....there is something about HAVING to do something that makes me uncomfortable...that necessity of it....makes me want to rebel...unless of course I can make it a FUN THING instead of a HAVE TO THING...that makes all of the difference for me.  I think I just bought a clue........I have to make everything fun...or a challenge that I enjoy...so that I can do it....without issues that make me want to head for that rocking chair.

JUST CAUGHT MYSELF REVERTING BACK TO AN OLD BAD HABIT WHICH WAS MINDLESS EATING!!!!!  So as a reminder to myself....i just ate without barely thinking about it...anxiety???????   I would say so!

So as a reminder to myself....I had to think back to what i just ate....and almost had to go to the trash to see what it was....but finally remembered.....1 mozzarella stick, 2 beef sticks, 1 built bar and 1 RX bar

GEEZE......am I a sick puppy!!!

I can see what I need to do.......I need to stay busy and get things done while making it fun.......sometimes I love a challenge and this will be one of those times.  Going back to my beginning of the year lists and making it happen........I will use some self control and get myself back on a schedule where I belong........fears/anxieties will just need to be managed because being a slacker like I am right now makes me nervous and anxious too....so better to be busy than idle and still dealing with it.   Putting this all down in writing has been a huge help today...Thanks Donkey for making it easier.

Dinner was roasted chicken, roasted potato with a little butter......