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Well big weight drop overnight, 2 pds.   Know it won't last and one will reappear on the scale probably tomorrow, but haven't seen the 122's for years.  Was down to 117 in 2011 when we moved to this house and it was upwards from there.   my weight fluctuates for no known reason.   not due to fluid intake, been drinking 3-4 mugs of the salt free broth with malt vinegar & hot sauce daily and the mug is a great big 17.8 oz Starbucks one.   has to be I sometimes retain water. 

Up a touch later...slept in until 5:30.......feel like I wasted a part of the morning...LOL

Coffee and news and some interesting conversation with D.

Keeping a notebook with food and activities and this month is going really well...still looking forward to doing a whole month in November.

Heading out tomorrow and again monday to shop...............Tomorrow will be the local store and will get the perishables that they have...then Monday to a town an hour away for grocery pick up.......and will see what they have....already they have taken at least a dozen things off my list.....so that will be interesting.......( they removed kitty litter and jello gelatin packages mainly...D loves his SF jello....he may have to live without it...LOl)

Looking forward to the debate tonight.......really looking forward to November 3rd and my all nighter.........and then November 4th...NO political phone messages, email, snail mail, texts, and 3 phones ringing with SURVEYS!!!!  I am so ready to put all of this in the past.

My pants are getting looser...and I may have to scout around and find some smaller ones.......or at least switch to ones with waists that can be adjusted........

I swear I will NOT wear bellbottoms...not even in the house!!!!!!  They need to go in the trash I guess because they kind of bug me... just knowing that they are in the bins.....LOL .....in fact it's not only bell bottoms that need to go.  I should just put that stuff in the garbage can and be done with it.  What I wore when I was 35 is far different from what I would consider wearing today....LOL

So anyway..........a full day here.....not overly interested in food...cooking for D though...and I'm eating when I get hungry.....and it's working out well.

 To echo Legs, this week is taking FOREVER.  And it hasn't been a pleasant time, I gotta tell you. Not even listening to Christmas music at work yesterday helped.  Now that's bad,  when Santa can't cheer me up. 

So we were fired by a client yesterday and what a blessing. I don't think I could have worked with these folks after our egregious error.  My boss so much as said he can't cope with the workload,  when I asked him to read the clients' emails thoroughly.

I'm so backed up, I'm going to have to stay late today. Husband wants to watch the debate together, so I can't stay too late. I'm so busy with emails that I've fallen behind on correspondences and checking new files for mistakes (by Mistakes Girl, when she opens them). 

This is ridiculous. We should not be this busy this time of year!  Boss is going on vacation starting Friday. Mistakes Girl will be out next week,  Wednesday-Friday. Meanwhile,  I'm so busy I struggle to take a walk at lunch!

Did well with eating,  but the hunger is real. It's not a painful hunger, but just a more annoying,  nagging feeling.  Well, that's what it takes to lose weight. 

Did shoulder weights last night. I'm not sure if I will do weights tonight.  Kind of depends on where I watch the debate. I have chest and biceps available to me. 

Looking forward to my treat on Saturday!  Fried rice and beer!

Workout:

Spin bike: 30 mins - running, sitting, jumps, hill climbing 

Lower body muscle work (3 x 10 lunges, side lunges, squats, calf lifts wearing 0.5kg/1.1lb wrist weights). 

Menu:

• B: porridge with raspberries, tea w/soy
• S: coffee w/coconut milk
• L:  6 veg salad with chicken breast, 1 multigrain cracker with cheddar
• D:  Massaman curry
• S: popcorn
• Drinks: diet tonic, or low cal fruit drink, lots of water, diet pop, tea & coffee

Total:  1093

1:25 of REM. Probably REM rebound from all the rotten nights of sleep I have had the past two weeks.

Nutrisense sensor arrived today. I needed it to use the 14 day trial of the app. After my first scan I was able to use the feature that hooked me... a chart where if you scroll to the right or the left you can see at a specific time what your glucose is, so you can actually measure the impact of your hot mess and drama. This is a feature that is missing from Libre... and apparently you have to use the European Libre sensors and pay Nutrisense for it. Highway robbery.

https://help.nutrisense.io/en/articles/3920712-increase-the-readability-of-your-data

What does appear to be worth paying for is the ability to isolate events in relationship to your glucose. It isn't as all the way there yet as the tutorial articles make it look. You can't track activities or notes.

https://help.nutrisense.io/en/articles/3793724-1-beginning-glucose-experiments

However, I think if you also look at your calendar, Garmin charts and Cronometer at the same time, you can see what actually is messing with all your internal cycles. I'll dive into this this week. Might be interesting in terms of biohacking cortisol. 

https://help.nutrisense.io/en/articles/3944059-managing-stress-biohacking-your-cortisol-response-in-three-steps

There is an awful lot in the help tutorials that isn't in the app... I'm kind of confused about how they are managing the app feature developments... Like they added walkthroughs, A BIG effort... but the experiments don't incude activities and the meal logging is super weird... I can't figure out how to log nutritional information and the database that gets searched isn't anything I recognize.

Ugh.

Did have tremendous success with the virtual coworking session. I got through all my mail and one fat task I have been procrastinating on for a year.

Today is back to getting organized/planning the next few days...

9am Breakfast: oats and raisins 300, almond milk and also coffee 100. 400.

10:30 snack: gummy starbursts, 1.5 servings = 150 cal.

12:00pm lunch mini bagel, mustard, deli pastrami 200 total, chips 150. 350.

2pm lg apple 100

3:30 fiber 1 choc chip cookie 150, some ice cream..150...just tired...but continuing to read and hopefully moving onto actually doing a paralegal assignment...lots of reading, LOTS of reading!

 6pm dinner: started out healthy - a fish cake not too big 120? on a mini bagel 130, with a little slaw salad with some dressing on it 150, followed by those starburst sour gummies...over two servings, so darn good. 240...total here: 650. decent..i will be done with this semi-large bag of startbursts soon...they are too addictive!

1950

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I will prob be home most of today, aside from a walk to pick up some things...maybe another short walk in the evening too...(thinking to do 2 short walks):

Walk 1 - DONE

Walk 2 - Bike indoors while on phone DONE

Put a small load of laundry in (figuring i'm just gonna operate more like this - small loads whenever i feel like it - until i start working again...) DONE

Back to doing my assignments for the ADR (Dispute resolution) paralegal course (try to finish this week's assignments and partial for next week...) IN PROGRESS...

Need to keep using my app for the PM test......

I was going to do my leg strength, but i feel a little tension in my calf from my weaker leg...maybe just stretches and massage??......will do stretches later tonight close to bedtime i think....did some fast rolling only - DONE

Walking to pick up my boots that i dropped off to be fixed yesterday so they will last me many more years (good brand original price i paid almost 3 years ago was $170, fashionable to wear with any outift including dress clothes, soles were very worn and i don't want rain/snow to get in them...)...not impressed with the job he did to my boots...should have communicated more about it...color is not as nice as it used to be..design of the heal is different..OH WELL i will still wear them - not about to go buying anything else in the next couple years either in terms of boots...DONE

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tempted to clean the guinea pig cage but that can wait a few more days (no need to do double work when it's not necessary)

shower / bathroom needs to be cleaned very soon....been putting this off....

NOT cooking today, but maybe tomorrow? - probably - or they veggies that came with the dish might spoil...

French friend may call today, i almost forgot about it, but it will be a faster call (not two hours).???...we'll see if this happens

monthly free therapist called...short convo, was fine. DONE

 HoP, what do you think about Rudy?   I am peeing myself!   it's hysterical.   he got caught on camera Toobin.

My weight is stuck in the low 124's and I want to see the 123's.   thinking of doing all liquids, buf never pull it off and quit by day's end.   a girl can always try, try again! 

Just super busy around here.....always lots to get done.

Placed a walmart order for pickup next Monday.........

Will need to make a trip into our smaller store before thyen for perishables...maybe tomorrow.

Prices are going up...and I just can't get my hands on several things.

One son who lives in the country a couple of hours away says there are people who have just moved into the woods around their area.......some here too.  Lots of trailers arriving as well.......I think things will be a bit iffy in a few days.  People are arriving from the city and suburbs to look for some safety apparently........

I see that the online ordering prices are going up......better to buy sooner than later.  The last time I was in the grocery store...( quite awhile back)...they were up there too then.......I will find out when i go for perishables i guess.

The Berky water filter system arrived...and NO dents...yippee........need to get that set up here in the next couple of days. 

I've been so busy i forget to eat sometimes...so my calories are staying very low here the last couple of days......and that is fine......clothes are a little looser.....but not really getting on the scales because right now...that is kind of on the back burner and not super important to me at the moment.

Thought I was a stress eater.......and I have been in the past...but not right now.....maybe I'm not stressed really since I'm feeling prepared and that is different....will see if that continues or not.

D is doing really good.......he is getting the guy stuff stocked up......and enjoying that. 

Not doing my list these last 2 days....but super busy so doing other things instead.  Daily food is around 1,200 and I should probably add a few calories...I really don't want to lower my metabolism anymore.  I cook for D but am not overly interested in eating........need to though.

MARIA>>>>>>>>>>>. How is your prepping coming along....I know you have really worked on it.....are you still adding?

DAILY RECAPS:

October 19 - supplements, vitamins, protein done; went for a bike ride with a friend down a new trail - very nice! Burned 351 calories.

October 20 - supplements, vitamins, protein done; spin bike 50 minutes! Burned 366 calories.

Adding my physio exercises together isn't helping to motivate me to do them 

I can't motivate myself at home as well versus at the gym. I guess i'm lazier when i'm at home, and not as focused. Since I plan to stay off the bike today, I will try really hard to get some physio in. My ankle has been doing really well, and i've stopped using the brace unless i'm working out. I still feel a little niggle on the top of the foot, but continue to work through it since it isn't "painful", just bothers me that it's not perfectly healed.

Gosh, is it only Wednesday! This week is passing by at a turtle's pace!

We are heading into the city this weekend; BF goes for another tattoo on Saturday, and we want to visit his oldest son. They don't come home often enough when they're so far away (he lives over two hours from BF, and hardly ever gets home anymore).

FOOD JOURNAL:

October 19 - coffee, oat milk, oatmeal, blueberries, cinammon; tomato and pepperoni sandwich on double flax with mustard and mozzarella; banana; clif protein bar; beef tacos in soft Protein Up tortillas with kale salad and mozzarella; 15 ritz crackers; coke zero. 2,235 calories.

October 20 - coffee, oat milk, oatmeal, blueberries, cinammon; beef tacos in soft Protein Up tortillas with kale salad and mozarella; banana; coke zero, 2 purdy's chocolate pieces. 2,001 calories.

No pictures again, I/we have just been walking around the neighborhood the last few days. DH and I did go for a short walk in the a.m. before it started raining on us, we went back home.

I worked as much as I could.

I picked up the girl and she came over and worked on homework. I walked the doggos again.

I made chicken paprikash for dinner along with a bagged salad - spiced apple or something. It was all good.

Later I had a piece of the diabetic pie I made.

Blood sugar this a.m. was 133

I ate cereal again for breakfast as well as another vanilla iced latte...(I will prepare a low carb breakfast tonight)

L: left over chicken paprikash

D: grilled chicken, salad, cottage cheese

DH and I got our short morning walk in...and depending on rain, I will go again this evening.

It's a good day! ip

 It's a new day. It would be better if it were Thursday. 

I did end up feeling a little muscle soreness in my legs yesterday,  as the day progressed,  so my legs workout DID do something!  Last night,  I worked triceps. No soreness this morning,  yet. 

I think I'm liking writing down what I eat. I have a 3-inch tall notepad "cube" on my desk at work. I write what I eat on one of those pages. I bring the little pages home and put them in a small folder.  Perhaps some day,  I might calculate calories. Right now,  this new habit is just keeping me aware of what I'm eating. 

It was tough eating less at dinner last night.  I didn't feel completely satiated, but I was satisfied with my effort.   However ,  when I was on the computer here last night,  I did have 1/2 cup of frozen whole cherries.  

Supermarket at 7ish am to get berries and tomatoes (I hate how badly they pack them with my groceries when I do click and collect), chilis, and vanilla ice cream for hubby. I had ordered Ryvita multigrain yesterday as I thought I’d like crackers and cheddar during my all night election. Could be a mistake as I can binge on them. But I will TRY HARD not to. They are 37 cals each. 

Getting our flu jab this morning at the village hall. It’s for all the 65+ who normally get it at the doctor’s office but they are trying to keep people out of there that don’t need to be. So the nurse is doing it at the 4 village halls on my road. 

Workout:

 Garmin only tracked 3h of sleep and 1 min of REM, but I know I got at least 6. Time to clean the sensor.

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H&M night bras came and they are perfect. A little weird at first because they are from the "Divided" line for teenagers... the way they are cut is just a little more modern than what I am used to... but they are perfect and WAY BETTER to sleep in than stretched out sports bras.

Back on my feet yesterday. Second day up today. Whatever the cat and I caught it was awful. Spent today with the caregiver deep-cleaning rooms dad is in so he doesn't catch whatever this is.  Ended up in the ER Saturday getting checked for meningitis because I told the doctor on follow up that I had a "cement in my brain" feeling for a couple of weeks and the antibiotics hadn't helped. Turned out I had had a non-stop migraine (that's what a migraine is???). The compazine and benadryl were a revelation. I had no idea it was migraines until, well, it magically went away. This is going to be $$$,$$$,$$$ when I see the bill.

Beats dying of meningitis.

Midnight. Checked calories and even though I ate about 2500 calories, I am still 2600 calories short because I burned 5600 cleaning today and I only want to be -500.

So what do I eat? I could seriously eat a whole moose right now, antlers to hooves. Possibly also a squirrel.

Any other Rocky and Bulwinkle fans?

I want to write this now, to get this off my chest, so that hopefully I can sleep better tonight and won't dread going into the office tomorrow.

My boss made a significant mistake last week, and it came to light late Friday afternoon.  I followed up on it today, and the clients didn't get their way.  The husband called and spoke to me - because, of course, my boss is out of the office (I'll explain) - and the husband said he was so upset with us because we didn't address his concern properly that he's probably going to fire us.  Yes, I think he should fire us.  I would fire us.  But there was nothing I could do, other than to take a message for my boss.

(BTW, firing us isn't going to fix the problem, but I would still fire us.)

I then went to Mistakes Girl and Male Co-Worker and asked them to stop working on anything on these deals (it's a sell/buy on the same day), because we're probably going to get fired.  So at least we're not wasting any money nor any more of our time on these people.

I was very upset when this error came to light on Friday afternoon, at my boss.  In a way, I feel somewhat responsible because I did not highlight (with a marker) EXACTLY what needed to be addressed in the attorney negotiation letters.  However, I'm really mad at my boss for not reading what the clients are requesting in the emails.  He's in such a freakin' hurry to write his letters so that he can surf on the computer or go chat with anyone who has time to listen to him...

So, like Monday, I start highlighting things in emails, so that my boss can clearly see what needs to be in his letters.  Nice Lady makes a semi-snide remark, "Now we're highlighting things?"  And I said, "Yes, I have to highlight things or they will get missed. (Gesturing at my boss' office)  This is where we're at." and she seemed to accept that, and agree by saying, "That's where we're at."

My boss was not in the office this afternoon, to speak to the very upset client, because he had a follow-up stress test at the hospital to see if he has another blockage somewhere.  This is a result of his ER visit last week.  He didn't feel like coming back to the office afterwards, and heck, I don't blame him, but on the other hand, then why am I left talking to these people who are really upset?  

So now, not only do I feel angry, but I also feel sad and very guilty for being angry with someone who isn't feeling well.

Despite all of these negative feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, helplessness, guilt & shame, I have managed not to eat everything in the house.  I suspect that cheese would make all of this go away.... but I know that it won't.

Good Morning, up around 6:30...it will be good when the clocks change and it becomes lighter in the morning, LOL!

7am banana and pb small amout 200

10:45 back at home - pie from freezer, key lime Edwards brand, not that fresh 350, coffee 

2pm gummy starbursts, not sugar free, sour and the real deal. amazingly good. 200 with rest of coffee...i may also have a sandwich to get some protein and food in me...yeah...small sandwich 200, chips 150...i will make sure i eat some veggies later on today :)

4pm was about to reach for more gummies (i have a bag of these starburst ones), but went for a small apple. 50 TOM has me craving junk this month.

5:30 dinner: another meal i made - it was fried shrimp (good) but i put a buffalo butter sauce on them that i hated so i have the rest of the shrimp to my neighbors. 200?, salad with some olive oil 150, bacon bits 100, half an alcoholic beverage 100. 550..

..now doing upper body (pushups going poorly...maybe still recovering from farm/pantry volunteering? or losing muscle lately?)

8:30 jelly beans 100...not sure what's with my sugar cravings. my stomach is still out of whack, i think, from yesterday when i was having issues...tomorrow is a new day, but i'm looking forward to finishing a workout and going to bed sorta early tonight.

1800...

i'm a little emotionally tired / physically drained. so, i'll get some rest tonight and try to eat a little better tomorrow but i'm not craving anything healthy at the moment.

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 took a NAP back at home after the cake and coffee (yup!, even coffee wasn't gonna keep me up, it was cold/muggy/dank...and i didn't have any snacks from 7-10:45 and was getting cold)...just a 20 minute nap...

1pm-2pm picked up dad's glasses at the union hall that needed to be fixed...dropped off my nice boots that need new soles (for going back to work, hopefully), dropped off my very dirty dress pants at the dry cleaners (wore them to multiple interviews and today i knew i'd clean them after riding on the bus/subway)...this was all on foot, around 40 min walk and this morning also includes some walking (not much)...but i've done an hour's worth of walking today :)..cardio DONE

i reviewed very little on the bus/train as it was a new route and i didn't want to miss stops...but i did some PMP review. 

i'm going to start up the next bit of hw for ADR (alt dispute resolution)...in progress

i will also be cooking a meal. DONE

i will do weights later tonight DONE

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i have an interview in the city, taking publlic trans...a little nervous, but must get a move on so i'm not late..have a nice day, everyone... 

.....so interview was good....they will not hire in these couple weeks but are trying to add me after more jobs come thru which i was told could happen in 2-3 weeks...he will stay in touch with me...i know the guy (superintendent) bc i worked with him previously :)...just one thing, i don't have a printer set up, and i accidentally didn't print out my latest, updated resume that changed since summer started DUH!...but, it's ok, it is still relatively recent LOL. i'm such an idiot....LOL. I took a summer course in PM and the paralegal oops. it's ok, spoke about it...I'll print it out next time at parents' house for the future. i'm such a dimwit!  because i had interviews prior to this one, i thought the one i had was the updated one...time to fix that and throw all the old copies away...def poor preparation, i hope they forget about it! LOL, it wasn't made into a big deal at all and brushed over very quickly.

I really should take care of the printer situation, but it doesn't really make sense to get ink for printing relatively nothing...i tried the library today but forgot that this particular branch is closed. i'll have to print new resumes at my father's house sometime this week / weekend.

 I wish there was a simple & reliable way to measure my resting metabolic rate.   I saw this one device that was selling for $350 and thought maybe I could find one used, but learned it's highly unreliable. Saw another for $3500 & don't want to spend nearly that much.   saw some spas and gyms offering the service for $69, but their methods appeared questionable.  Sure my PCP wouldn't order a test and if he did the insurance won't pay.   oh well, guess ultimately it doesn't matter.   I did find a site that used math.   said I needed 1384 Cals per day for basic metabolism.   sounds a lot better than the 2000 commonly recommended for women.    Know I can't lose weight on 1200.   my rate must be low.

A quick entry this morning.  Yesterday I wrote down what I ate, and found that I'm eating way too much salad dressing.  I'm not counting the calories, per se, but just writing down what I eat.  In a way, it keeps me accountable, knowing that I'll have to write it down.

Another thing I noticed is that when I eat at work, I'm very aware of what I'm eating.  When I eat at home, for dinner, I don't give it much thought, which leads to overeating, e.g. salad dressing.  I found myself reaching for that square of dark chocolate without giving it a second thought.  Then I realized, Oh, I need to write this down.

Had trouble drinking enough water yesterday. 

Sunday was back weight training.  Last night was legs.  I thought I'd wake up to some serious soreness, but it turns out, no pain at all.  I find it helpful to do 4-5 different exercises.  That seems to bring a nice feeling of fatigue to the muscles.  This is also helpful, I think, for sleeping well, although I did wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and to show Old Kitty the new location of her litter box.  She figured it out; she's such a smart kitty.

(Recap: I have 3 cats:  Old Kitty, Good Boy, and Baby/Sick Kitty.)

I stayed a little later at work last night and missed my daughter at dinner time.  I left around 5:45p.  UGH.

Yesterday I was in the office for half the day - we had a roof leak - this is the third time in as many times as it's rained. Contractors are really sucking on this roof job...my boss is really heated about the entire process. I can't blame him...anyway the leaks were not in rooms with expensive equipment - just two monitors and a speaker were damaged so far. I just felt I was in the way and worked from home.

Because of the rain, I did not walk yesterday...matter-of-fact I did nothing at all except cook dinner. I sat in the recliner for about 5 hours and I didn't even feel bad about it...and then...about 8:00 I decided to have a granola bar which I probably shouldn't ...blood sugar this a.m. is highest it has been in a long, long time 151. I contribute this to the granola bar and not walking, but like I said I didn't feel bad about doing nothing so I don't feel bad about 151. Blood work is in 15 days on 11/5/20. Dinner was a taco bake and I think it was the best thing I've made in a while. Ground beef with taco seasoning and onion. Layered the ground beaf with refried beans, corn and salsa and then put the cornbread mix over the top and baked. After cooked added a little cheese and melted. Put lettuce, tomato, avocado and sour cream and this was delicious.

Scale this morning 302.3...I'm ok with this and will try harder to get below 299 beofre my appointment with the doctor on 11/12/20...so I have three weeks for this last 5 pounds.  I told DH, today is my last day for added sugar. I was looking at the Cheerios box and it has sugar and brown sugar syrup added and I will have to say adios to my iced vanilla latte as well for a month or so and see how this does...that's the three week plan.

I think the girl is coming over tonight, if she calls.

B: Cheerios, vanilla iced latte

L: left over taco bake

D: Chicken paprikash and salad

Not a lot going on today, will get in my two walks for sure...I think it's not supposed to rain.

Have a great day! IP

 looks like I won't reach my goal of 115 by 1/1/21.  Actually going for 110. Hopefully by Spring 2021.  

Bear, here's another way I add caramel and other flavors to my coffee. Amazon Prime has good prices.  Some restaurant supply place has better ones,  but they require bulk purchases.

Plan today is to get to the post office and mail off our ballots.   Would go to the courthouse, but it's raining and a long haul.   PO is next to Tim Hortons.   uh oh.   I can hear the donuts calling.

knee doing much better.   On recumbent bike now, will try downstairs treadmill later.   it's broken and can't do an incline, or just barely.   The husband has a fancy one in the gazebo, but that's where I reinjured the knee, so avoiding that thing.  

Picking up shopping today at 10am.  No workout day.

This is going to be a tough winter. Cold, rain, wind and dark makes me want to curl up with some fattening snacks! Be strong!!

My chili hot chocolate mixes that I ordered a couple of months ago are just sitting in the cupboard. 145 cals for one of them so will have it rarely. The other one is so spicy it will blow your head off!

Menu:

• B: porridge with blueberries, tea w/soy
• S: coffee w/coconut milk
• L:  chicken breast sandwich, apple
• D:  some kind of curry
• S: popcorn
• Drinks: diet tonic, or low cal fruit drink, lots of water, occasional diet pop, tea

Total: 1151