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Horn_of_plenty - Sunday Apr 21, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

Donkey - you hit it on the head - the running goal is definitely a practicality and not a passion. if i can pass the test, i will go back to walking / biking. i def will not continue running past when i need to as i'd rather just live life and not schedule runs in - and yes, i'll go back to weights mostly.  perahps get a dog ;)  there's more to life for me than runs ;)...but for now, it is life!

I slept well and starting in a relaxed way at home this morning. 

8am Breakfast: 2 cups shredded wheat onyxorgum 400, few craisins 70, almond milk 30, stevia and a little cinnamon. 500, kombucha 80.  

snacks: nut butter, some chocolate 200

Noon healthy lunch: leftovers small bit of tomato and cucumber salad and sauteed eggplant 100, half avocado 150,and from coworker really tasty breaded and some parm cheese chicken breast larger piece 300? 550...maybe some popcorn 100

2pm dark chocolate 50, mostly done packing, might take a nap

3pm chocolate and coffee 150

6pm-6:30 before workout: few cookies and aminos 150, coconut water and more chcolate - i like it lately) 100


After exercise thinking veggis would be good, but don't want too high volume, so, we'll seee!!350

2250, good!







I will start packing after i relax a bit more this morning - read some of my book, just relax, then i'll pack for upcoming trip

also decided on an extra load of laundry so it's not waiting for me when i get home from the trip in May!!!!! May is coming!

Later, i'll do my weights routine....i should also take a short walk but my legs are not really in the mood?.....a little walk doesn't hurt anyone, will check weather and see what i can do!

i think i have enough food to last thru this trip and may not need to stop by the supermarket today! i have a spaghetti squash i'm cooking and if my kale is still good, i'll be sauteeing it up! and i have enough meat to last...i have kombucha (already bought a ton in advance 2 weeks ago!), i have iced coffee....the only thing i'm short on is bread / wraps which i think i'll walk to pick up later - otherwise i'll buy it tomorrow on my way home as wraps will last till when i come back so i'll be prepared when i'm home and hungry after the trip! -i got right back to work for a Friday when i come back...so just get thru that day and it's the weekend again ;)


Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
So excited for your upcoming trip!!!! Oh my!

I'm glad that you have found my input about running to be constructive. Let's see how it goes. Usually, I would say that goals can be flexible and changeable, depending on where one's journey takes them. However, this is a different experience, because you have a specific time/date/objective goal to reach (passing that test!). So rather than a winding path, this will be more of a straight line journey for you. I'm so excited to read what happens!

Freeze - or at least refrigerate - or throw out anything you don't eat before you leave. If it has enough salt or fat, it might be OK when you get back. But nobody wants to come back to a mold garden in one's kitchen ;) (or worse - creepy crawlies!)

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Goals feel good!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
oh yeah ;)

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
It sounds like a nice day, I'm sure you are really getting excited for your trip.

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BearCountryGG - Sunday Apr 21, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Doing lots of food prep...some in the fridge and some in the oven.......still need a bath and hair washing......leaving in 1 hr and 45 min......but for now...waiting for the oven timer.  Looking forward to spending the day with D's sisters and families.  Their second home is about an hour north of us...so need to be out of here by noon.  Not going to give calories a thought today....just going to enjoy the company and the food......then we will be eating leftovers for days......


We had a great visit with some of D's family.......Brother in law that spent the last 19 months fighting cancer looked good and doing well....will still have a port in his chest for 3 more years that they use monthly but he is so far cancer free.  D's 67 year old sister is obviously going blind quicker than she has been telling me on the phone, I don't think she ever really looked at either one of us in the face...and they were leading her around ( she is an amputee)...diabetes is a nasty disease.....both of their parents had it and now 3 of them do ( including D).  Everyone else seemed happy and healthy....especially little 19 month old Sami.....her antics kept everyone laughing and that family seriously needs to laugh....,.D's sick sister told him quietly that she doesn't expect to live out the next year.......note to myself.....call "C" a lot more often....she is so sad and lonely...and lost her husband to cancer 2 years ago.  So many of our classmates are passing...we are old and it definately is not pretty.  I need to keep reminding myself to live every day to the fullest........keep the wt off and continue to lose the remainder.......time sure flies.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
Have a good time with your family, Happy Easter!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
It was very nice...Thank you HOP, I hope you had a nice holiday as well.

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter Donkey!

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter Happy!

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Post pics of your creations!!!! Happy Easter!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
OOPS....read this after the fact.....the remnants aren't too pretty now...LOL.....

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Donkey - Sunday Apr 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Happy Easter - may peace be with you!  And it's a beautiful day here (FINALLY) in Chicagoland.  Wow, this has been a long time coming!  I'm actually wearing shorts today, it got to be so warm.  No worries, though, we will have cooler temperatures and rain starting Tuesday.  Back to typical Chicago blah.

We went to Male Co-Worker's church.  It was very interesting.  A nice building that was not too small, and yet still had an intimate feeling, which I liked.  Lots of music at the beginning - 4 songs!  The sound system was a little too loud, so that was rather painful, but with my fingers covering my ears, then I could enjoy the music much more.  Loved songs 3 and 1.  Song 2 was good, song 4 was a good thing it was the last song.  The sermon was good.  I would say it was a B+ sermon with some A+ points.  It felt a little rushed, but I wonder if that's because we were short on time (had to finish so that there could be some time before 2nd service started) or if because he was so worked up that it just poured forward.  What really made my day was when it was announced that this was the first time that they were able to have a 2nd service, so there was a service at 9:30a - which we went to - and then one at 11am.  

I was way out of my comfort zone with the fellowship though.  As soon as we got out of the car, there were 4 people right on top of us, welcoming us, happy Easter, what a beautiful day... yeah, can we just get into the building, please?  And then lots of people stopping by, wanting to shake my hand (gross) and welcoming us AGAIN.  And touching my husband!  Do NOT touch my husband!  He is inflamed and in pain!  Do not touch his shoulder, do not touch his back, do not try to shake his hands -- they are sore!  That whole part made me feel VERY uncomfortable.  

I liked the experience enough to maybe check out what a regular service was like, but if that fellowship stuff is typical - which I think it is, because most Bible / evangelical  churches that I've been to are like that - then I'm gonna have to pass.  I wonder if they even realize how off-putting that is to people.

Then we went to brunch.  I had a 3-egg omlette with vegetables and feta cheese and fresh fruit.  I ate the whole thing, as by 11:30a, we were all hungry.

Came home, finished laundry, did some computer stuff, and then went for a walk with my daughter.  Lovely!   

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost and already at goal!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
Attending new churches is usually quite interesting...they are so alike yet so different. I also am not into touching strangers.....family is enough....LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
wowwww shorts huh!? we had a nice day here as well and sunny :) 60's :)

Well, i'm glad you experienced a different service and at a new church. I am sorry that they were so touchy-feely!

i am sure they don't realize how off-putting it is or they wouldn't do it? or maybe it was due to Easter and more crowds and more people around? but moreso, it's probably how they always are?

your day sounds really good! i am especially glad to hear that you were able to enjoy some sunshine with your daughter! it is so healthy to get outside and move. i even did the same myself today :) keep on, i'm proud of you!

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happy-1 - Sunday Apr 21, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

224.8! down a lb and only 8 lbs up from plateau weight!!!! I was rewarded for logging instead of binging! What a great discovery for a holiday about rebirth. 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter to Happy! very happy to hear you are doing well now!!!!

This is definitely a rebirth for you!

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Ty! Happy Passover and Easter to you!

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter! Even in the darkness, there is hope.

I'm so proud of you for last night!!!!!!!

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Happy Easter!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
Great way top stop a potential binge...Happy Easter happy!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
ty Happy xoxo

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happy-1 - Saturday Apr 20, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

Feeling ready to binge and I don’t want to destroy the progress I made this week. So I will log here instead. I weighed in at 225.4 this AM and am good to go to yoga tomorrow at 9am. I want to go to yoga 5x a week... rest on wednesday and saturday. It will get myneck in good shape and help me get off the flexeril. It makes me extra tired and I don’t like it. 

I want to binge because:

Putting all of that here helps. Time to take a sleep aid and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
Very proud of you for logging here instead of bingeing and also for sorting out your feelings. i used to have so much more trouble than i have now with bingeing but luckily now i have a lot more tools in my bag to help me on a day to day basis ;)

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Hugs! That must be quite a set of tools!

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
VERY proud! This is a good idea. Oh my, I should do this, when I'm feeling that evening, after-dinner anxiety! Wow, what a great idea!!!! Thanks!

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Hugs! I think I’ll just post whenever I feel like binging... might mean multiple a day but I want to track the binge urges separately. Would be cool to see you do the same and compare triggers

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
^^^Great idea! I will try very hard to remember to do THIS instead of eating/bingeing.

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
I think I need to do this too sometimes....

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Horn_of_plenty - Saturday Apr 20, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

slept in and boyyy did that feel good! would have slept even more, but have to be at parent's place around 11am today, so need to leave my place around 10:30am which is much better than the workweek 7:20am leaving home!

9:15am breakfast: nice and filling! homemade by coworker cured pork sausage (yeah i eat everything - no restrictions even for this holiday!) 150 tops very fatty and very good. toast 100 with LOTS of saag and i even ate some of the creamed spinach on its own a few spoonfulls just yum 300. total here: 550, will have an iced coffee too, 50. 600 total :)

Healthy lunch with salmon 600

snaco chocolate and coffee 100

dinner: large amount pickled cucumber salad and other veggies 200, small amount potato 100,couple meat balls small 100, small amount meat brisket 100, cooked carrots roasted 200 asparagus 100, chocolate 100, little more chocolate 100, wine 150...1150 tops 

2450, fine - pretty good eats today ;)


Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/20/2019:
I slept in too -- I'm always conflicted about sleeping in on my days off. I feel like I've missed time to "seize the day" by sleeping in, but I know that for today, especially, I needed the extra rest.

I hope you have a good visit with your folks. Is this specifically to observe Passover? It's so nice to have family to spend holidays with. I'm trying to get my little family on board with doing something for Easter -- with the key word being "trying".

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
yes, it was in observance of passover but since my mom is still recovering from the accident and ribs healing, she did still cook but also because new baby in family, we didn't do the holiday prep / holiday traditional meal but instead just enjoyed some time together and home cooked regular meal :) it was great and went well luckily!!!!! really well, actually! and the baby is a good baby but when they left he was CRYING and CRYING! lol sleepy baby didn't want to sleep!

i always enjoy sleeping in and don't get conflicted much at all. i have coworkers that feel your way....but i just like my sleep - and growing up even in high school i didn't get enough. i didn't sleep well in college either or until after 30. and now i do like my sleep!

BearCountryGG on 04/20/2019:
I will have to look saag up. Sounds like it may be spinach......did you know that if you eat spinach daily for an extended period of time it may cause kidney stones......just a heads up.

horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2019:
Yes it’s an Indian way of preparing spinach ....!

I should eat more spinach lol def don’t eat enough salad greens ;) thank you for the info that’s good to know !

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
oooooh brisket

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BearCountryGG - Saturday Apr 20, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

It's a BEAUTIFUL sun shiney day today.  Woke up feeling much more human than yesterday.  No benadryl needed so far!!!  Since I slept yesterday away with a benadryl coma I really need to get busy today. 

On the schedule is pick up all rooms on first floor, bring more stuff up from basement to sort, make 2 or 3 different salads for tomorrow, Get donations out to car and trash out to garbage can.

Since losing weight I have so much more energy that was just making me so slow and sedentary.  Everything is just easier and that makes it so much better.  I am still working on losing more and every less pound seems huge.

Food yesterday was a challenge that I basically lost.......when i went to bed I remembered 1 thing I had forgotten and went to add it with my phone and somehow lost the whole days list.......oh well...it wasn't pretty......a very junky day.  But that's over now and today is going a lot better....but I also recognise that when I list the foods...it seems to work in a negative way for me......pictures worked great but were very time consuming.  Skipping breakfast works very well usually........and  the busier I stay the less i think about food or even want to eat.

I'm still avoiding the scale like the plague and it works really well for me...no daily angst because of mini fluctuations.  Every day is a new day and no beating myself up for eating something that I percieve as bad. 

Fact is...If I want it and it's in the house it is fair game......we are being super careful now what we bring into the house. 

My new goal is 115 since I realized that I shrunk 2 inches.....I figure I will know when I hit that because I will probably fit in the size small pants that I have stored for a million years ( then I will probably donate them and get new ones)...Always did love baggy shirts but I can not stand baggy pants...LOL   Well...I'm no where near 115 right now so I will not have to drag smalls out just yet....but hope it doesn't take too long.....

Bit of a change of plans for tomorrow...sister in law called and they are at their up north house along with other sister in law, but have nephew and wife and their baby so they want us to come there tomorrow to see everyone ( they all live down state where we used to live).......so  since one of our sons is working and the other will be staying at their house tomorrow bcause daughter in law is recovering from surgery.......it was easy to change plans.


Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
you have so many things on the horizon! it's nice to have a lot of people and family in the picture and discussions to see each other. that's nice during retirement!

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
It is nice..yet we still don't see each other that often....age is getting to all of us...health issues and we are all just sore and kinda cranky...LOL

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Aaaaw what a strong mentality you have to make holidays happy.

BearCountryGG on 04/21/2019:
I don't have any living siblings...but D is one of 5 and I really like him to see them as often as he can.....and we all get along nicely so we do try to work on that.

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Donkey - Saturday Apr 20, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Gained a pound, but with the week I had - and the extra sugar - I completely understand why this happened.  And I'm OK with this.  Not that I like the higher number, but this is what happened, and now it's time to move forward.

Wow, I feel like I've been bombed with a LOT of helpful and inspirational ideas.  Everything that has happened lately seems to be a learning experience or a motivation to take the next step.  Talk about feeling reborn this Easter weekend!

The reason for the binge-eating on sugar at night seems to be caused by anxiety.  Last night, I realized what this was -- I've been feeling it every night this week! -- so I took some CBD drops to help relax me a little bit.  I take CBD drops in the morning, so that by the time I get to work, I'm more relaxed to deal with clients.  I think it helps.  I notice on days where I forget to take the drops, I'm a little edgier in voice and manner.  So I need to be mindful and take intentional steps to reduce anxiety after dinner:


I need to find the courage to step out of my comfort zone, my routine, and find something that brings me more fulfillment.  This may be a hit-or-miss endeavor.  In fact, I'm sure it will be.  I've  been talking about doing yoga for ages.  Maybe pilates or barre.  Maybe a community clean-up with the local environmental group, maybe start a flower pot garden?  SOMETHING.  ANYTHING.  Why is this so hard for me to take that first step?  There is nothing to be afraid of.  Wait, maybe I'm afraid of being disappointed?  Hmm...

I wanted to clarify that I am happier at work, now that Queen Bee is gone, but the job itself is evolving into something that is no longer a positive experience of helping people buy or sell, but really just wanting to be done with clients who have reveiled that they are really awful people in real life.  How you treat people who are being of service to you really says a lot about a person's character.  Anyway, my hope is that finding something ELSE in life that brings me joy will help balance out the good with the bad overall.

I'm starting to give a serious thought to hiring a personal trainer to help me with weight training.  I realize that I'm training rather blindly.  I would benefit from some guidance and exposure to new ideas in this department.

And so speaking of which, I realized this morning that I completely forgot to do push-ups last night.  I remembered at one point, while getting ready for bed, and then it never happened.  Oh well, a day of rest is probably a good thing.  So back at it today.  PLUS, it is my plan to do some weight training today.

Today's plans:

About Easter service:  I think I have my husband on board.  He understands now that this is not the church that he thought it was, so he is not so closed off to the idea.  Also, the promise of going out for brunch afterwards seems to have sealed the deal.  I have to talk to my daughter - when she wakes up - to finalize details.  I need to really lower my expectations of this being a "family thing", so that I am not disappointed, but knowing that we'll be together, doing something, has helped me change my mindset from "Male Co-Worker is draining my personal time" to "this could be an interesting adventure for us!"



Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost and already at goal!

BearCountryGG on 04/20/2019:
Any anxiety I've had of late was apparently from a new brand of coffee....I've cut down to 1 cup a day and make sure I take my vitamins daily and it went away completely. It was awful....and depressing...and I don't ever want to go back there again.

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
My evening anxiety isn't caused by coffee. In fact, if it weren't for the caffeine keeping me from sleeping, I think it would help moderate the anxiety. Caffeine does pick me up but then it helps stabilize anxiety.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2019:
about the easter service you wrote about at the bottom - a new adventure is just the way i'd think of it for myself, too,if i were in your position. it's nice to go to different venues (even religious) and see the differences in structure and offerings at them. it's a small breakup of routine and you are still fulfilling your religious beliefs.

the pound you gained...don't worry, just keep acting accordingly, keep moving, keep being healthy. :) ...keep on!

i want to think you also for the motivation and passing on the knowledge that, like your son, i can accomplish this "lofty goal" if i could get some help in addition to my own motivation and self realization beliefs that will take me towards fulfilling this goal to run agility runs (which is soooo not my specialty! or passion!) to get me to my final goal. it's hard to break up the exercise now..and i am hoping that my new weights routine is not too much as i cannot have 6 days a week of hardcore training - i will not last physically.

I appreciate all the words of advice - please don't stop - please continue to share how you are changing and trying new things in addition to keeping some things the same (i feel if you are always changing, then there's no routine and you cannot progress thru practice)...

i will indeed probably stop running again as walking is nice in itself! i have a future goal, if the opportunity presents itself, to get a small dog. this would not happen anytime soon of course. but that's the type of exercise that i'm happy with. a little cardio moving and a weights routine is just fine by ME!

it makes sense that you'd binge on sugar (which initially relaxes you) bc of anxiety. one of the reasons i eat carbs and do not go low carb is that i am less anxious by eating more balanced - with supplies of feel good hormones that eating carbs gives you.

are the cbd drops worth it? i feel like i should get them as they also combat inflammation right? that's another reason, btw, that i eat avocado. they are wayyyy to beneficial to leave out of my diet. also those leg things that legcramps was talking about - King massagers - i have a feeling i may be purchasing them when i get back from this trip- hopefully i can be reimbursed, as well, thru my health account ;)...anything that can help us right inflammation is beneficial - as long as I USE THEM!

YES, it is hard to break out of one's comfort zone. I want to tell you, i have done if on multiple occasions and it DOES feel good to do things and try new things you didn't feel were possible. It is ALWAYS that same feeling and anxiety but it's necessary on each time you try something new. This is helpful for you to feel good about yourself, not be bored, continue at the SAME job, but have other things keeping you growing outside of work, too! it's like the man with two jobs (nuts!!! - but many of this military guys do the reserves - great benefits, great retirement!)

you will not be disappointed for trying something new. keep expectations LOW. it could be a bad teacher, then you try somewhere else. just TRY. see if there's a deal / trial session. try to keep the days around your trying this new thing in routine / not too stressful so you can go into this new class or activity feeling pretty good!

you have so many options, just choose one, plan that one.see how it goes. i am like you, i want to do everything. take out a calendar or google when community clean up is available and sign up for a day. realize it will be busy ;) so plan that week accordingly (at least this is what i'd be doing!). with the internet, it's so easy to research and find the activities / classes you want to be part of! research 1 or 2 and plan those, and then see how you like those!

if you are disappointed after trying something new, i suggest it is OK! not everything you try you will love - you just don't do it again and try something else. but the importatn thing for you i think is to try to things on your list. and get over that step!

that's a good approach,like i was saying, just like Legs does - she's involved on things on the outside she loves, it balances her work. and she's done that for many years....

you can hire a personal trainer at the gym that could teach you exercises mostly with free weights and a bench - then you coudl take that and do those exercises back at home...if you prefer exercising later at home. maybe just join the gym on a monthly basis till you learn what you'd like to laern on the weights.

Happy Easter!

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
I'm not sure that the CBD drops are worth the $. The higher the cost, the more concentrated they're supposed to be. The drops we have are not the lowest but not the highest by any means. I initially bought these for my husband's illness. He takes the drops only sometimes -- I'm not even sure he takes them any more. I, on the other hand, take them almost daily, in the mornings.

Tastes like olive oil :)

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
What’s your goal for weight training? Would it make any sense to get a referral to PT for injuries first?

Donkey on 04/21/2019:
I'd like to bulk up my upper half (shoulders and arms) and tighten up my legs. That's all. The End.

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happy-1 - Saturday Apr 20, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

Weight 225.4... a whole lot better than 231 which is what I bounced up to when parent health crisis / formal end of life care started. Not as good as 216 which is what I was down to in January... but I am on my way.

Also, yoga is really helping with the tension headaches (which came back/were made worse by getting mom up and down stairs) but I’m not off the flexeril yet. I am having a rough time making it past 6pm.... On the other hand, I was up at 5am on my own this morning. It always feels awesome to beat the alarm.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2019:
rest and sleep is important for you. makes sense to be tired come the evening if you were up and at it all day!!! :)

i don't understand your photo??

also, nice job getting back on track! so proud of you!!!

happy-1 on 04/20/2019:
I liked that pic... I thought it was an uplifting summation of “always do your best”. Felt good to see it on Pinterest today.

Donkey on 04/20/2019:

Horn - the meme's point is that if you put forth your best effort, then that is all you can do. You might not win the "official" price - you still might be voted off the island - but at least you gave it your best effort, and that in itself is the real prize.

Oh my word, this is so inspirational - thank you!

Happy - I'm so glad that you talk about doing yoga. I've really got to try that for myself... I don't know why I'm struggling with taking this step.

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
I didn’t like yoga till i tried classes at small studios off classpass. It fixed my neck and gave me back my sanity. Big box gyms and fancy places did not do it for me.

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
I find a lot of life is covered by the 4 agreements, thank u

BearCountryGG on 04/20/2019:
The pics are so true.....we all have our own BEST!!! I know what you are going through with being a caretaker...I cared for both of my parents and it is so draining....I'm glad you are taking some time for yourself amid all of the care giving.

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
i’m making my list of minimum self care items i need to do daily. i’ve been so tired i just fall asleep wherever I am and forget to brush or floss

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Donkey - Friday Apr 19, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

I had another slip-up last night, and this one was probably worse than the birthday cake episode.  There is a situation that is completely out of my control, has nothing to do with me personally, except that it has me very upset.  So for some reason, I thought that eating a LOT of dried fruit (figs, papaya), almonds, and nuts, and dark chocolate, would help resolve this situation.  I can tell you that it did not except that my stomach was very unhappy with me this morning.

I did better today, and tonight, but still ate too much and had too much sugary creamer in my decaf tonight.  And after I'm done here,  I MUST go up to bed and make no trips to the kitchen.  That's how close to the edge of food I am at this time.   

I did not weight train after Sunday's session, but did manage to stick to my push-ups challenge.  My lunchtime walks were much shortened this week, because of the amount of work that I have to do.  Thursday and today weren't too bad, but Monday and Tuesday were definitely crazy.  It only takes one or 2 crazy transactions to swallow up all of my time, and then I get behind on all my other files.

I realized tonight, while riding my bike, that I am no longer happy at this job.  I'm not miserable -- yet -- as I have been at other law firms.  I do wish I could work part-time, but I need my health insurance.  I don't even know if I need my hourly wage, so much as I need the insurance coverage.

I'm feeling very pressured by Male Co-Worker to attend his church service this Easter.  I am Catholic, so going to an evangelical church service seems rather... well, it's rather like going to see a show or a performance, since there's no Eucharist.  Mistakes Girl and her husband are going to one of the services at his church.  I'm not sure why I feel so obligated to go to this, except that I have this really STRONG feeling that if I do NOT attend, that it will be a big mistakes in the office politics.

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost and already at goal!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
one thing for now - you don't have to go to his church service. i think that her going is NOT going to leave her high up on the politics pole for long at all. that will be forgotten. i feel that on your own time, you do not have to say yes to everything if you don't want to do something. that's my true opinion on this topic.

why are you no longer happy at the job???? like, queen bee is gone?! isn't this a good thing? why don't you stay as long as you can?

if you went to real sugar, pehaps getting off keto will be good for you...somethign but not be balanced for you to slip up. ??? at my lunch at work, i avoid major slip ups by having more veggie servings than most people would so i can feel appropriately full / slightly overfull.

nice job sticking to the pushup challenge.

i was talking to somebody, a vendor selling us lightbulbs on the job, and we work with him very often. he spend 30 years in the NAVY doing that part time gig (weekends?) but he had a high position WHILE working his current job! he had TWO JOBS! finally retired from the navy, he still is working the lighting job as a vendor / vp of the company.

i'm trying to say this guy had two careers, one "part time" but since he had a higher position in the navy reserves, he had a phone and was constantly answering calls and doing both jobs each day, he said. and he told me briefly what the test was to get into the navy - SURPRISE, SURPRISE, it was the SAME as court officer: sit ups, pushups and running! that's it.

so it seems that to be a cop / nypd, they want to "see" your strength in muscle form whereas a lot of these other service psoitions are looking for cardio strength without loads of muscle. either way, he explained that cardio plus a bit of pushups / situps is enough.

andd he mentioned how his training now is also that way...he agreed time is of the essence and you have to choose what you are gonna train.

the last cool thing he showed me is a stretch to prevent shin splints and something i hadn't incorporated before - which i added to something i'll do 3x per week.

i guess i can always go back to weights fully, just gonna try my best and get a trainer in june hopefully.

ah, thanks for listening.

what i was getting at before i changed topic slightly is that situps and pushups are great body weight exercises and they work many muscles. they are very good for building strength.

Donkey on 04/20/2019:
Oh my gosh - your comments really spoke truth to me today. Got me thinking about a BUNCH of stuff. Thank you!!!

About the job: Right? I am MUCH happier with the working environment, although even yesterday, the boss showed that he's letting her get away with stuff, and she'll still be rewarded for her bad behavior in the end. However, it's the work itself that isn't bringing me joy. I used to feel very fulfilled when a deal closed; it was a good feeling to know that I helped people buy or sell, so that they could move forward with the next chapter in their lives. I'm not feeling that any more. Nowadays, I feel like the clients are done with me, and I'm done with them.

About the guy with 2 careers: YES! THIS! And if I recall correctly, this is something that we (here, all) touched on before, to find something outside of the "job" that brings me joy, whether it's a 2nd job or an activity (that might end up evolving into a career or hobby). I really need to push myself to explore this more and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Finally, about weights: Yes, you can always go back to weights. In fact, I would predict that after you have achieved your running goal, that you will return to your first love of lifting heavier weights. The running goal is just to pass a test. It's more of a practicality, but not a passion.

happy-1 on 04/20/2019:
Eh, I don’t mind going to someone else’s service to show support if they are singing or something. Nice to show support... It’s the follow on attempts at conversion that get to me.

Foodwise I was doing the same thing from stress... I had to purge everything in the house to get my dad under control and it had the side benefit of getting me under control. Also I bought a bunch of ghiradhelli 86% dark chocolate squares and they hit the “off” button on the snacking monster.

Donkey on 04/20/2019:
You totally get me. Unfortunately, it's the attempts at fellowship that really annoy me. I will reach out when I am comfortable. People reaching out to me unsolicited really bothers me. My husband and I were talking -- trying to get him on board with doing this as a "family thing" -- and he said the very same thing. So at least we're on the same page with that.

I have been doing the dark chocolate - I love 90%, but that is as high as I can go. I tried 92% and it was too bitter. But I love a fine, dark chocolate. This week, it didn't work, but I will be getting a couple of other "tools" this weekend, to help me.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2019:
i want to add a comment on food related to happy's...

i also find eating really, really dark chocolate (last i bought was 98%)...helps me to calm the snacking urge. a little goes a long way. that was my favorite.

now i have something less dark, little higher cals, but also helpful in the evening!

Donkey on 04/20/2019:
See my comment to Happy, above regarding the chocolate.

Also, I've been noticing this week, that after dinner, I'm feeling this awful anxiety. This is not usual. It's the anxiety that is triggering the excessive sugar eating.

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horn_of_plenty - Friday Apr 19, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

7 day = 2175 or so. good.

kombucha 50

breakfast: toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, coffee 50

keto vanilla shortbread flavored bar, decent but not great 250, chocolate 100

Noonish: coworker gave me a nice breaded chicken she didn't want yesterday 250 really good, cauliflower rice so good (made by coworker again!) 100, veggie salad 50, pepper 50. total here: 450. nice.

3pm snack back at home - feeling i want a nap but will probably have coffee instead strawberries 70, 2 cookies 80 and iced coffee made with almond milk 50. 200 nut butter 100, apple 50

healthy and tasty dinner: small piece of sausage 100 made by coworker homemade! so good!, half avocado 150 on 2 rice cakes 50. 300

during and after workout: aminos, coconut water, chocolate 150,more choc 50, nut butter 100

2150,excellent. and got a little walk in, laundry and NEW strength / weights routine. ok...

with family most of the day tomorrow...! talk to everyone later!



laundry went on after snacking, but first i relaxed a read a book and that felt good, now just had a light dinner while clothes are drying and also exercising :)  


Def leaving work at 1pm to get home, do a short walk, and LAUNDRY before i do ANYTHING Else....that'll be it with laundry until after the trip (aside from a load i do in Paris halfway thru the trip lol)!

after laundry is done, it's off the agenda for the weekend. i might even be able to pack on Saturday instead of Sunday, we'll see. and i plan to do the new workout routine tonight to check it out (see below).


THANK YOU to everyone for the input as of late. i'm anxious for the trip, and even more anxious about my changing workout routine. I'm specifically changing it as a plan to reach a change of career goal i have. if i don't shift my workouts, i will not make Court Officer no matter what. so right now, i've decided that when i get back from my trip, the majority of my exercise is going to cater towards passing the test which the only trouble i'm having is the cardio elements (very good with pushups, and pretty good with situps). 

i don't have a lot of free time during the week and need to sleep regular hours (not at all planning to slack on sleep just to train more = no way!).  so, because time is limited, i feel i need to PICK AND CHOOSE which workouts are priority and which i can skip for the time being until my cardio is WAY BETTER which could take over a year.

MY Planning this AM, at work & future action plans to be taken really soon:

as a working person, with an hour commute approx each direction (2hour commute) for each day, on top of working a schedule of 8:30-5pm, it's just not possible for me to feel RELAXED all week AND train everything i want. 

and being that this is going to be a LONG process, where i NEED to feel somewhat good in the LONG RUN, i am going to forego most of my upper body routine aside from just 3-4 exercises. Of course, i'll keep pushups & situps (as they are needed for the test). I'm going to skip off on Planks for now - go back to the later as they are really similar to pushups which i'd rather just concentrate on only. YES. 2 exercises.

Leg exercises: all 4 i'm keeping, they are all variations on a squat (3 types of exercises) as well as heal raises plus i'm adding in one other stretch / strength builder for the front muscle of my shins! 5 exercises.

so, counting all above, i will combine both lower and upper body again since i'm shortening the upper body so i can do it with the lower in a good amount of time on strength building days. this is a count of 7 exercises. i feel i can add two more: biceps and chest press (i prefer not to lose the strength i have gained using very heavy weights for those exercises.

so, 9 exercises for strength days which is PLENTY. PLENTY!

as the other days i'll do cardio and that's all i have time for. I will email this to myself, as this is my new weights/strength routine and it does feel a little too much, so, i may switch off on leg exercises, not always doing all 5 at each session, i think! i may do a chart where one day is 2 leg exercises and the other day 3, etc. 

by getting strength done, 3 days a week, i have time to concentrate on my agility / cardio. i'll start by figuring out a certain distance, working on sprints inbetween the selected distance....i'm going to google exercises that help agility / jogging...i haven't come up with a cardio plan just yet. this is for the opposite days.


Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/19/2019:
I'm sure your trip will be wonderful....France is so very different.....I had a French grandma who often spoke french and I think it is the most beautiful language to listen to.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:

Donkey on 04/19/2019:
Please consider hiring a running coach, specifically for the court officer test.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
yes, i am going to need help and a coach i know this....and will look into this when i get back from this trip i will being this research for one month i'll give myself. someone who will teach me agility exercises? i def need help...please give me any and all advice and do not feel like you will upset me.

i'm walking into uncharted territories and am going to need some help with the cardio part, yes. i feel i will only have time for training the running part by exercising on the grass next to where i live, i'm going to try to make the cardio part as local and convenient to my apt as possible...this is going to prove challenging, but i do think i can do it - with a trainer!... i am going to use your advice and i respect it.

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BearCountryGG - Friday Apr 19, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Up early and waiting for the gutter guys to come and work on the house..........

Since counting calories ( loosely)...the last couple of days I can see that it is too easy for me to have days less than 1,200....Not eating breakfast is what is making that possible.....I know from past experience that not eating breakfast makes it easier for me to eat less in a day......but it may be too much less.......so I'm eating breakfast today to see how that goes........It is frustrating to me that I seem to move between 2 extremes...eithier I'm over eating or under eating..........correcting this needs to be a new habit to work on.

Digging through old stuff in the basement that belongs to my Grandparents and parents has apparently stirred up some old dust....and my dust allergies are out in full force....so between coughing, wheezing, itchy eyes and runny nose....I'm feeling a bit crummy.

Decided to take benedryl which I know will knock me out so in the meantime I'm cutting out coupons, cleaning out my purse and filing some papers.  Got the bed made



Definately eating breakfast starts a hunger fest.  2 meals down and I still want to eat....but not allowing it.......it's amazing how skipping breakfast makes me so much less hungry..............not counting today.

The benedryl knocked me out for almost 3 hours and I'm still sleepy.  Slept another hour in afternoon...kind of a lost day...repair man here and there wa no kind of routine...and definately eating breakfast just sets me off for a day of wanting to eat.


horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
yes, it's allergy season. i know, it's a fine line between not eating breakfast and then being starving later before bed ;) haha i know it!

BearCountryGG on 04/19/2019:
It seems that once I start eating I just want more food......If I don't eat at all it's easy to resist it....story of my life.

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
sometimes not enough calories can cause eating too much later...and that's the fine line for me! ;)

enjoy your day, BCGG!!!!!!!!!!

BearCountryGG on 04/19/2019:
That could be my problem too.

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Horn_of_plenty - Thursday Apr 18, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5


Breakfast: toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, coffee 50, chocolates 50

snacking: bar HEALTHY TYPE 230

more snacking, huge appetite 100 cals in honey roasted almonds so good

lunch: leftovers ;) small pepper and tomatoes 50, chips 250, chicken sausage 250 500-600


total 2250 and no additional exercise and bed early 


earlyish to bed before Friday which is a SHORT DAY...will leave at 1pm or 2pm, i've totally decided to do this. go home tomorrow and do a walk home again so get home around 4pm if weather is ok, then do laundry ending around 6pm too before the weekend, possibly start to pack for my trip on Friday night after laundry & work :)










Once again, i have come to a realization that i have to make further bigger changes to my workouts in order to make them sustainable and also to make my cardio goals sustainable. So long to the LONG NIGHTS of upper body cardio.I'm going to once again combine leg and upper body days, by shortening the upper body part down so that the workout is no longer more than 1 or 1.5 hours with combined upper and lower in one night. that will be 3 nights per week. then, i am going to make sure to put in time for cardio, which will also be 3 days per week. so, six days a week training with weekends possibly optional weights and cardio in one day? still thinking about. it's a lot more training time than i do now, so i'll implement little by little for the next couple months. 

It's TOM and i'm really happy about that....before i go on my trip and not during, thank GOSH!

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 04/18/2019:
Have a great trip! I hope you didn't have the Natre Dame cathedral on your list of to dos...I guess you can see the remains.

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
Believe it or NOT, i had planned only to spend 2 hours or so there...not a LARGE amount of the day...and i was sad not to be able to see / walk more around the Seine or over a bridge...so, i'll see the remains from afar or what we are able and then possibly walk a bridge, or just end that day early ;) and get laundry done for the rest of the trip (packing so light on purpose!)

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
Have fun on your trip, when do you leave? And what IP said....so sad about the fire!

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
i leave NEXT THURSDAY evening! ahhhh!

yeah, the fire is crazy bc i don't think anyone ever thought that notre dame would ever fall down after 850years standing!

legcramps on 04/18/2019:
Get some rest tonight.

RE: dropping the weight routine. Would you re-consider? I see you've stroked out that paragraph, does that mean you've already re-considered and changed your mind? I'm just mentioning it because weight-training can be extremely beneficial when training for a cardio endurance event/test. During exercise, oxygen that reaches your muscles is converted into energy. Improving the flow of oxygen to your muscles improves your athletic performance and stamina/endurance. Developing lean muscle mass will actually improve speed and endurance rather than slow you down.

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
Resting tonight. I just don’t have enough time to train as much as I’d like - I have the limitation of time and know I do need my rest so won’t be losing sleep to exercise.

I’ll do some weights but way less I think. There’s just no more hours in the day :/

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
I think in order to pass the running tests I have to just forego some of my weights routine bc it’s just too much training to do both well. It’s the time issue and I know I’ll go back to weights but maybe never the way I do now - perhaps when this is all over I’ll just be happy to live life and less concentration on fitness I think and more on life goals. Like I’ll do what it takes to pass a test but then I’ll do what I want for life.

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BearCountryGG - Thursday Apr 18, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

It looks like a full day and I'm getting an early start......tweeking my new habits so that I am doing things  on purpose just to break up the old routines.  As the years go by it gets easier and easier to just sit down and put things off until tomorrow yet tomorrow never comes.  Just shaking things up and doing different actions is kind of interesting.  Last night I went to the basement and brought a bin up to sort through. 

This morning I'm drinking my coffee and sorting through the bin.....I think there is plenty in there to just throw away.  If there is one thing I have learned, it's that saving things just makes a huge mess to clean up years down the road because 99% of that stuff is unwanted later.

Walking the walk is getting easier and easier.

Heading to town when the post office opens and then getting some more errands done while I'm there is on the agenda for today.......no breakfast yesterday helped a lot with the calories.  Still need to do a better job on food choices but that will happen in time....

Back home before lunch, post office and 3 stores and I'm tired.......stuck pizza in the oven and never did have breakfast.

breakfast = coffee

Lunch = chicken and garlic pizza and ice cream bar....maybe that is why I have a stomachache.

Nap, boy did I need that...not sure why so tired but back is acting up and I just feel kind of blah.....did get that bin emptied and tossed most of it....found a bag of things from my parents straight from their kitchen junk drawer...gardening gloves, antique bottle opener, marbles, paperclips, shriveled rubber bands, small tools, note pads and pens, a teeny tiny green plastic giraffe.  The little things we leave behind when we die, that someone else will have to deal with, one way or another.

930 cals so far today

cereal and almond milk to reach at least 1,200 cals

Horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
i think Spring is time for new beginnings, i've got a similar mindset to you....a need to change my routines.

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
I get off track...I get lazy...and once it starts it is tough to stop sometimes....

innerpeace on 04/18/2019:
I'm glad to see you back! I missed your posts. I know about that dark web stuff, I had my SSN and everything stolen, it took me almost three years to get everything straightened out. I still have pass words on my bank, even if I'm personally in there they ask me a code word.

I hope you get everything straightened out.

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
It is difficult, I have a feeling its not over yet. We changed passwords allover the place and removed ourselves from a lot of sites....closed a credit card and basically just mainly used Facebook for family. It has been a huge mess.

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
I missed you guys too...it is good to be back.

legcramps on 04/18/2019:
Welcome back! Chicken and garlic pizza sounds yummy.

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
It was tasty until I got a stomachache...LOL

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legcramps - Thursday Apr 18, 2019

Weight: 0.0


MONDAY - Work 8-4; Workout 6:30-7:30; 6 hours, 16 minutes

TUESDAY - Work 8-4; Coach 5:30-8:30; REST; 7 hours, 5 minutes

WEDNESDAY - Workout 6-7; OFF; TATTOO! 5 hours, 40 minutes

THURSDAY - Work 8-4; Workout 6-7; Pension Presentation; REST;

FRIDAY - OFF; Workout; 

SATURDAY - Workout;

SUNDAY - Workout;

Mar     18-24 - RUN 2 / BIKE 2 / STRENGTH 3; average sleep 7 hours, 1 minute

Mar     25-31 - RUN 2 / BIKE 2 / STRENGTH 3 / SWIM 1; average sleep 8 hours, 18 minutes

Apr         1-7 - RUN 2 / BIKE 2 / STRENGTH 3 / SWIM 1; average sleep 7 hours, 52 minutes

Apr       8-14 - RUN 1 / BIKE 2 / STRENGTH 3 / SWIM 1; average sleep 7 hours, 27 minutes

Apr     15-21 - STRENGTH 2

Here is the new tattoo that I got:

I love it, just a slight amount of colour in the eyes, and the white highlights which HURT A LOT but was so worth it!

We got another strength workout in before we left for the city yesterday. I think I will be taking a rest day today; I want to sit in on a pension presentation tonight at work, and then get my butt to BF's for the weekend, so there won't be a lot of time for a workout, plus my tattoed leg is a little sore so I want to take it easy until tomorrow anyways. Lots of different plans for the weekend so I will still get in a good number of workouts this week.

I will definitely be trying to catch up on sleep this weekend - this week and last week haven't been the best for getting enough rest, so I really want to try and re-set for the next couple of weeks leading up to the duathlon. Just SO grateful to have some days off :) so absolutely grateful!

We ate out last night at a buffet restaurant. Very high-end for a buffet; I had a lot of protein/meat. Shrimp, sirloin steak, ribs, brisket, and salmon. Yes, all on the same plate LOL. Followed that up with a couple different types of salad, and a small serving of rice. But, yeah, mostly meat! It was delicious.

Today I have already overdone it on breakfast. I was super hungry. Hopefully lunch will be a little more reasonable than breakfast was; planning for some leftover potatoes and pork roast, but might throw that in the freezer for next week and have plain rice and eggs instead. We'll see how much time I have.

RE: the pension presentation: it's always good to know what my options are should I ever decide to move/take another position somewhere else. I've already put 18 years of my life into healthcare, and have been paying into a pension for most of those years. It absolutely will play into what I do for the next 10 to 12 years career-wise, before retirement.

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
YEAH for pensions......so worth it. D retired just before his 49th birthday and is now 70....21 years worth of pension is a lot more than he paid in...we are so grateful for that...then at 62 social security kicked in for both of us too and we have lived very nicely on it all. We didn't have this option but anyone that has the ability to pay into a 401K with matching employer pay in is throwing away free money if they don't take advantage of that. I love your tattoo...did you get it done all in one day?

legcramps on 04/18/2019:
Yes, it took him about three hours altogether!

I almost pretended that I had to pee just to get an extra break at the end LOL; I really had to suck up some pain at that point.

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2019:
first, that tattoo is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

legcramps on 04/18/2019:
Thank you!

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
3 hours is a LONG time to get a tattoo. mine took ONE hour and i'd just about had it with the patience of sitting still and the piercing of the needle! but i'll agree 100%, the tattoo you have is really, really nice! i just love the design! very artistic and beautiful. you choose it well!...plus, you make me want to get another someday, like for my 40th bday or maybe earlier....i'd get it as a reward for passing the court officer test if i do - if i pass that test, there'd be a huge celebration, let me tell you! (the test is not any time soon!)

dang that meat sounds delish! that is tasty...and i like how there was a variety of salads, too!

WOW, that is SO AWESOME that you've been at the same pension / career for 18 years. I have to tell you, if you put in 20 years into my union, you get free healthcare for LIFE until you die. I only have 8.5 years in which is why i am not so set on staying on my path. i feel i could just survive on what the majority of the country gets when they retire. it's not special but i'd get by.

this union that i work for is one of the only unions providing a health care plan even after you retire and only after 20 solid years working. it's good for so many, but, for me i'd take the chance to change careers and lose the healthcare upon retirement (court officers do NOT get health care when they retire....you get the country's medicaid/medicare whatever they call it that seniors get...)

i'd totally try to do what you can for your pension, that free money you get based on your years you put in. i know it's hard, but if i were you, i'd try to stick it out...and retire later rather than earlier, then you could just do personal training / gym group training later on.

Donkey on 04/19/2019:
That tattoo is amazing! Wow!

You made the right choice to attend the pension meeting. Definitely worth it. I hope that you can catch up on sleep.

happy-1 on 04/21/2019:
Love the tattoo... How Athena.

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innerpeace - Thursday Apr 18, 2019

Weight: 335.1

Day 2

Did not go to work this day...mental health day for me.

I baked tilapia that was in the oven and made a tilapia fish salad - it was ok. But I found a smoked chicken breast that I thawed out and ate 1/2 of. It was moist and delicious. I left the talapia for DH.

I picked up a book and could not put it down - murder mystery/whodunit...I read until almost midnight until I just had to go to sleep.

Day 3

DH put a chuck roast with potatoes and carrots in the crock pot.

I picked up the girl, she was happy and giddy...she is a 'girlfriend now' aww the trill of puppy love and the agony of the 'crush'!

B: mini bagel with cream cheese and a banana

L: 1/2 smoked chicken breast and grapes

D: chuck roast with potato and carrots

S: balanced breaks and pineapple for dessert

It was a good day.

Day 4

DH picked up the honey baked ham and smoked turkey. We are really not doing anything for Easter and i think the girl is even leaving early on Sunday to be with her mother and that family.

Tomorrow I took off for Good Friday and we have the concert to go to downtown Cleveland.

I got the girl a new bed/sheet/comforter set and curtains for her bedroom instead of an Easter basket. DH got her an iTunes card, she should be happy.

B: mini bagel with cream cheese and banana

L: left over roast beef sandwich, clementines

S: granola cups

D: smoked turkey

Doing better but trust when I say it is easier to have a mental health day than be here at work.

Have a great day! IP

Progress as of today: -13.5 lbs lost so far, only 125.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/18/2019:
Your eating looks good...I guess I can say that I am still committed to eating EVERYTHING...but just in smaller quantities. I know that I would never be able to stick to a diet that banned anything.....I would feel too restricted...and there are people that like that...but I'm not one of them.....I just know that somewhere I lost track of the notion about portion control....with that...we can do anything.

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
both the tilapia and the smoked chicken breast sound AMAZING! good eats, i'm loving those !

i also have a great book i'm reading...about the cowboys and settlers out west in the 1800s! loving it! it's well written story that is funny and captivating!

wow, she has a boyfriend!? how exciting!!! i hope she stays in the happy and giddy stage for awhile....that is such a nice feeling to have, i miss it so much (didn't quite get to have that feeling many times in my life, almost never, actually!)

loving reading all these smoked meats, like the turkey yum!

lol, i love a mental health day too....i didn't have any more days left of i'd have taken one today.

Donkey on 04/19/2019:
I'm too busy to take a mental health day, at this time. :( By September, I will definitely need one.

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horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Apr 17, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5



home kombucha 50

8:30am breakfast toast 100, egg 100, butter 100, iced coffee change of pace from starbucks (small size!) 50. 

9am snack1: it was a nice lady's bday and i enjoyed most of the piece of cake she gave me :) it tasted very much and strawberry and the cake was nice and moist and the cream not too heavy. really nice! not more than 150-200 cals. smaller type of slice. yum.

snack2 pistachios 150, and a little more 50

Lunch: from home: chicken sausage 200, tomatoes 50, and maybe some chips 250(on a chip kick!)550 TOPS...shortly after 3 smallish clementines 100 and a black coffee with steiva

snacks: CHOCOLATE FROM COWORKER 50, almonds 100, last clementine 50 (i can tell TOM is coming! huge appetite!)


2250 total, 3 mi walk :)

dinner: not sure, i think it'll include avocado - eating healthy fats will help my skin along as it's already better compared to last week! and i did try to be healthier over the weekend, and not drink too much alcohol or caffeine!

exercise: will walk home partial, just enough to call it exercise, bed early :) 


Starting to feel cramps coming on...hope for all of TOM to start and be done before my trip next week ;)

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 04/17/2019:
I see that you have been having problems with coffee...me too...I've been sticking to just one cup a day because it was making me jittery too. I don't know why it happened so suddenly but it started with a brand of K cups by Community............

horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
yeah, i ordered a medium iced (instead of sticking with a small) and i drank it so fast it hit me, the caffeine that is.

it's not a good feeling when the caffeine hits so hard that you get anxious. it's been awhile since i last felt it, so i also need to be more careful. maybe water down those k cups, spill some out and just use hot water for some of it. they obviously have a higher caffeine count.

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BearCountryGG - Wednesday Apr 17, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Glad to be back and get working on routines again. 

I got up a little later than usual and sat down for a cup of coffee with D...which turned into some news and a little bit of a National Geographic documentary.  Decided to get moving and get the dailies/weeklies done.

Putting off breakfast because it just helps me stay away from food easier.

Washing bedding today and putting away yesterdays weekly laundry.  I need to stick with it on Tuesdays laundry days but because I don't like putting it away, it's too easy to just put it off.....need to correct that.

Spent most of the morning and part of the afternoon packing things to send my 91 year old aunt and sorthing pictures for other family members.  I never did get to breakfast and that is NOT a bad thing.

1 o clock and  finally set down to some carrot ginger soup and a pkg of tuna salad and crackers.

Worked a quick nap in and then now waiting for the rain gutter guy.

We are talking today about the fact that D had his knee replacement exactly a year ago today.....and we are both shocked at how fast that year really was.  Truly....a year is almost nothing.  Time for me to wake up and spend my time more wisely because it goes by way too fast.

About 5 o clock, I had an orange, cheese and crackers and a special k meal bar...so I've had about 800 cals today.

Paid some bills and balanced some bank books, gutter guy is still here...guess we will be getting new gutters from him.  Today has flown by and it's almost evening.  Wrapping up some loose ends now and it would be great if I don't eat anymore but not sure about that so will see this evening.  Will sit down now and watch some tv or a movie.

Ended up eating more cheese and crackers and a fiber one bar  to bring the days calories closer to 1,200....did end up with 1,100 and I'm fine with that....eating too little is as bad as eating too much because it does slow my metabolism down.....so I'm good for the night now.


horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
Routines are the life stabilizer! hahaha, for REAL!

i have an upcoming trip...and lately i think how my routine will not be taking place then, that when i come back i will get back to the routine and it's usually difficult after an adventure to come up with the energy to keep my exercise plan after a trip ends! then, i have been also thinking how my routine has to CHANGE to adapt to my new goals (passing two types of shorter, agility running tests). i shall be talking about it in my entry later this Spring!

i also like to put off breakfast a little bit (i eat it at work, on workdays, not at home!)

i also like getting up a little later which helps me with eating better during the day LOL, another FOR REALZ!

I love your lunch, how nice! filling, satisfying too! i remember you had some really good meals in your entries especially by the time you left us they were healthy and tasty.

i cannot believe it's been a year either with his surgery, it did go fast! it's amazing to see time go by, even here on DD, we become like life-long friends bc time is flying and we keep sharing the journey!

BearCountryGG on 04/17/2019:
I was shocked that a year has passed so quickly and it was a good reminder to make good use of my time.

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Donkey - Tuesday Apr 16, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

So a couple of thoughts that need their own entry:

Tonight, I was not so strong about resisting the cake.  My daughter had a dish of leftover cake & ice cream that she could not finish on Sunday, so she stuck it in the freezer.  It's been there for a couple of days.  For some reason, not only was this dessert calling my name for what it is (cake & ice cream), but this bowl of leftovers triggered my OCD tendencies. It just BOTHERED me that here is this unfinished dish in the freezer!  Last night, I was able to resist, but tonight -- no such luck.  

This struggle -- despite the fact that I had a very filling, satisfying dinner (again, ate too much at dinner - another one of my struggles), was a losing battle tonight.  Actually, that's not 100% true.  I consciously decided that I wanted a carb re-set, and that finishing this dish would satisfy me in both capacities.  And it did, except that then... I had an extra piece of cake.

Even though I truly believe that keto has a LOT of benefits health-wise, I'm afraid that it's just not for me - at least not right now.

I have to do what works for me, and right now, for where I'm at, the last 2 months of keto haven't been working for me.

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost and already at goal!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
100% with you and got you completely. i know you are you and i am me, but, i also couldn't get Keto to work for me. i didn't have energy and replaced carbs with caffeine. skin was horrid. then, after days low on carbs, i'd go overboard with them. that's why i also watch carbs, but eat them in moderation and why i don't do keto either. it doesn't work for me. also, i love veggies and fruit. a little sugar in a decaf coffee is good, sugar goes a long way, it also balances your sugar levels. do your thing. it's actually i think even cooler to do what you do, based on doing research. to involve many aspects of what you have learned, to make them part of your own diet. that's what i do.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
also, the majority of athletes i'd presume would NOT do keto. i know there are a few that do, especially in weightloss community, but i don't think that's the popular approach for athletes. and there's a reason why!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
additionally, keto to start you'll lose the water weight. afterwards, you'll be lean without the water weight i'd say. but, "lean look" is only accomplished by the growth of more lean muscle taking over the place where fat was. it's not like me and you are so lean we need keto bc we are heading into a physique body contest, you know? keto can be maybe short term, i'm not sure about sustainable for MOST people.

BearCountryGG on 04/17/2019:
I read back a few days ago and see that your son is in the service now.....I'm happy to see that it all worked out for him....maybe those extra months at home were a good thing. At that age a few months equals a lot of maturing.

horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
i agree with BCGG.

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
Happy Easter to you! :)

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horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Apr 16, 2019
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 114.5

kombucha and bite cookie 100

too strong coffee yuck and shaky (next time a smaller coffee!) 50, toast 100, butter 100, egg 100, chocolate 100: 

bar 150

snack crackers 200

Lunch from home: sausage (chicken) 250 and cabbage 100, chips probably too100, SEAWEED SALAD 100. 600 :) 

snack: pistachios 100, it's a higher cal day but i'm trying to stay healthy. i had too much caffeine in the morning which sorta hurt me.

Pm pre workout snack at home: strawberries 100, nut butter 100, iced coffee 50. 250.

1850, good, ....time to start up this workout....

during workout: coconut water, aminos drinks, peanut butter total 150

after workout: TBD - small peanut butter on toast :) 300 (two tablespoons, one slice, folded in half!) SO GOOD.

2300 :)

2145 per day,4day, ok!


tonight is upper body and proud of myself for doing legs last night. lately getting good sleep, too!

doing well and keeping some boundaries set so i can go into this Paris trip feeling ok.

Progress as of today: -0.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 04/16/2019:
Oh I hate it when I get shaky after having too much caffeine! It's such a horrible feeling. Your lunch sounds yummy.

When are you going to be taking your run test? You should give a trainer 12 weeks leading up to it so they can give you the proper programming and support you need to smash your goals. I'd at least start networking now to see if you can find a trainer that you can mesh with and work together with. It's one thing to just give you a program to follow, but if you're hiring a trainer, you're hiring them to support you in a lot of different aspects of training, not just the programming.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2019:
yeah, after the Paris trip, i'm going to start looking and thinking seriously about it...thank you for explaining to me how important it is. i hadn't really considered it until i wrote it here that ricky thought it would be a good idea...and now that both you and donkey are telling me it's important also, well, i know i need one.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2019:
i'm going to find a couple trainers...see how i mesh with them, start with them by mid summer i think...it will take a LONG time for me to get better with the two tests i have to pass, but i think it's very possible if i get help.

Donkey on 04/16/2019:
Shakes from the coffee are not a good thing.

I am glad that you have considered using a trainer. I was afraid that you might have been offended at the suggestion. And of course, I meant after Paris :)

Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
NEVER offended.

it's basically up to me whether i want to regard this court officer possibility as a "DREAM" or a "GOAL."

time is ticking and i have time to shape my future, it's up to me if i want to take it more seriously and more logically this time - focus to pass the physical test bc this time i KNOW what the test is and can practice it (unlike my former failure at police exam.)

i will be forgoing health insurance for life by leaving this industry. BUT, by leaving this industry, if hired and passing both the written and physical tests for the court officer, i'd have a job for LIFE as long as i don't do stupid things.

so, court officer opportunity gives me a career path whereas that's what i don't have now. that's enough for me to feel good about my future.

court officer, first, involes a written test. i don't know the date, it's bound to be either this year or next: definitely before 2021.

the physical could come soon after or a few months after. so, i have time to do this right this time.

sorry for this long entry...

if i want to change my life one last time, i can if i get a trainer and do this right. i even have a slight connection in the world of court officers who is related to my sister's husband. she might be able to help me (but i have to pass things on my own of course). i'd use her as a reference and see where that would go.

of course, this is all a dream for me, but it could work if i put in time.

no vacations are planned after Paris aside from an overnight. i'll try to remind myself of the real goal now and for awhile.

i have gotten very strong in my upper body routine by not skipping and can do more than i have been doing in maybe the last couple years.

i'll have to build back up after paris.

it's time to focus :)

thank you, for listening.

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