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20.0 Hours in the Sun/Cardio :)

organize clothing so i can drop off a donation whereever i can find an open bin to donate clothes this coming weekend...

tonight: upper body weights; since snow/rain i will not do any cardio extra on commute.

kombucha 50

breakfast thicker bread end 200, cream cheese 50, egg 100, coffee included..

snacks thru 10am: 100 cal granola bar, some candies 50...HUNGRY / tired lol...but i did get better sleep last night...so i will do my weights tonight :)

Noon healthy but indulgent lunch: salad with some olive oil 100, chinese leftover chicken 150, rice 200, minimal sauce 50? small persimmon 50, gummies 100, black coffee. 600...very indulgent and large volume - now extremely tired and sitting with a black coffee...makes me want to skip my workout tonight...but, i'll just try to get it done, i'm sure i'll feel better later....

5:30pm dinner: will be my cauliflower steak prepared with some sauce 150....., large amount, and with it will be more of the chinese chicken 200 :)....chinese broccoli 150,...500...tortilla chips ..200....700...hungry day...fruit persimmon 50...kombucha 50

2000...

if hungry late at night: chocolate again?

lol, i'm missing my guinea pigs...i can't wait to snuggle with them when i get home. they are beyond used to me....and it's the cutest thing EVER how we get along so so so well!

Doing soy protein powder mix for change today.  marvelous flavors and great texture, very thick and rich when mixed with water in the blender.   used chocolate mocha today, had a cup cold and another hot.  100 cal per serving, 27 gms protein.  

Just accidentally deleted all of my January posts and lost my precious bar graph!!!

this single entry should restore it.

 Been awhile. Life is so so busy with my family and especially so with lockdown and elearning. I joined DietBet back in December and although I regret it immensely most days, I will probably meet my goal because I'm too cheap to lose money. So in that sense it's good. I bet to lose 10% of my weight in six months. So that would bring me down to about 112.5 pounds. I really struggled to make any progress but my weight was artificially high at the beginning so I didn't really have to. The next weigh in is on Sunday and I need to be 117.5. I over ate yesterday so I went up to 119.8 but I was 118.6 before that. recently counting calories has just led me to over eat, I just couldn't get myself together. I saw a blog post on bright line eating and while I had heard of it before and wasn't interested, it did peak my interest for some fast weight loss. It feels like I am eating a ton and that's what has gotten me going. I don't think I will do it indefinitely, but it does force me to eat healthy foods, I feel very full, and good grief I do lose weight! But the moment I start counting calories during the day, and start thinking if I counted I'll just add this ice cream etc. I start to go off the rails. Why is that? I'm thinking that counting calories is a good strategy for me to maintain my weight when I can eat more, but when I'm losing weight and I can't eat much maybe I'm best if I just stick to a fairly rigid plan. I'll try to post my meals for accountability! I wonder if I can take pictures of them to post...

hope everyone is doing well!! 

• Breakfast: 1 serving protein, 1 serving grain and 1 serving of fruit
• Lunch: 1 protein, 6 ounces veggies, 1 fruit and 1 fat
• Dinner: 1 protein, 6 ounce veggies 1 fat, and 8 ounce of salad

Pictured for Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 packet oatmeal, 6 Oz fruit

Lunch: huge Greek salad, fruit, Diet Coke (oops- small cookie and bite of ice cream -not pictured)

Sunday night the girl texted me and told me her mother said some very hateful things to her - like - "i wish you would have died on the table with me when you were born" and "i should just wreck this car and kill us all" and "both you and your brother are the worst kids ever" - I mean who says things like that to their kid? The straw was on Monday morning the step-dad said 'they would all be better of dead" this is when the girl texted DH and then he tried to do something. He was worried about her safety. He spent most of the day with the lawyer and at the court house. He also called children services and was told they don't take those types of threats seriously because "everyone says stuff when they are angry".

DH had a zoom call with the magistrate this morning and was able to get the girl over here termporarily until the 8th - for the next court date.

It's been a really hard last two days. I'm still freaking out the POS will show up to take the girl at 8:00 when DH is at work...this will not bode well for my nerves.

Monday - blood sugar 123

B: yogurt and granola, vanilla iced cappachino

L: bread - left over pasta from Sunday night

D: left over beef and brocolli from the Friday night Chinese Food

Tuesday - blood sugar 115

B: yogurt and granola, vanilla iced cappachino - 1 piece of toast

L: string cheese, granola bar - waiting for the girl at the orthodontist

D: TBD - thinking of wrap from diner

Busy at work most of yesterday and some of today.

I just have no words and am still very emotional over the events. My son called and talked to me and calmed me down a bit. Miss that guy!

Have a Tuesday! IP

  I

January 22 - work at gym; burned unknown calories.

January 23 - hike; burned 282 calories.

January 24 - yoga; burned 113 calories.

January 25 - REST

Trying to intentionally slow down, taking a weekend break to try and avoid "Weekend Warrior" burnout. It worked well since it was too cold to stay outside for too long anyways. Monday early morning was something crazy like -48 degrees (celsius) with the windchill.

Athletic therapy this afternoon and hoping for a ride on the spin bike as well. BF wants to get in another yoga session later on tonight, which is ok too.

Ok, i'm just going to say it. I'm hungry.

Not - HUNGRY - like i'm not eating enough food because HAHA that's funny. Hungry like I want to eat something other than the same things i've been eating every day for the last two weeks. My new mantra is "ONE MORE WEEK" and then I can finally start re-introducing. The last two weeks have felt like a very long and isolated time. Like I just want a potato. Or a slice of toast and peanut butter. Also red meat would be great. 

Having said that, I can't complain since I have only had a couple of instances where i've eaten something that negatively affects me and gotten sick in the last two weeks. And even then, it didn't last as long as it normally would have. Not being sick EVERY DAY has been really nice, and if i'm honest, i'm a little frightened of giving that up.

At least now I know - if I do have a flare of intolerance to a certain food - what I can eat to get back to normal. I imagine the next few months will be a lot of back and forth like this; eating something, having a flare, getting back to normal, repeat.

Oh well, I have nothing better to fill my time with!

I know I have spoken about seeing multiple numbers here before as in 1111, 222,333,444, 555 etc.....and I'm seeing them multiple times a day....( usually on a digital clock)........What surprises me is that months can go by without seeing any....then it starts again.....it has been very intense these last few days.  currently 1111 , 222, and 444.  I never see it as a negative....no matter what it is supposed to mean.......and it is always at a time where I am doing a lot of soul searching.  I do not think it is a coincidence.........and I find it encouraging.  I wake up out of a sound sleep and see them on the clock.......I think there is so much more to life than I know or understand and I think it provides  guidance. 

My soul searching has been centered around the fact that I have always been  a caretaker type.  Going back to my earliest years....I was always working on making sure that everyone else was fine.......specifically....I recall that in junior high ( middle school to you younger ones).....In art class....we were told to go get some clay from the counter......I believed that there wasn't enough for the entire class.........and I was right....the person ahead of me took the last of it...and I made sure I was the last in line so that I would be without instead of someone else........BUT.......while there was no clay for me......there was something sitting there...a milk carton full of hardened plaster of paris........I wondered if the teacher would let me carve that instead.....I told the teacher there was no clay left and asked about the other alternative......he smiled and said yes.......I carved to my hearts content.........and got an A on that project.......everyone else was elbow deep in clay.

Around the same age....my Dad told me he would pay me 1 Cent for every leaf I picked up...I have  a very clear memory of not wanting to take his money...I picked up 10 and collected my dime..........LOL...now if he had asked me to help him rake...I would have done it happily.....without pay.  I know he took it differently because he said so many years later.......( I wish I had thought at the time to explain my not wanting to take his money)......

Basically I see that I have devoted my life to making sure everyone else was okay........at the expense of myself. 

I see  that while I was taking care of others.....they were expecting me to fix everything for them and not working on fixing things for themselves.

HOW DO YOU CRIPPLE A PERSON?  You cripple a person by doing things for them that they could do for them selves.

Did you know that when you stop enabling people they get mad at YOU?????

DID YOU KNOW THAT PUTTING EVERYONE ELSE FIRST MEANS YOU ARE PUTTING YOURSELF LAST WHILE AT THE SAME TIME THEY ARE ALSO PUTTING THEMSELVES FIRST?

When people stop working hard for what they want.......they lose.......

Hard work is  what makes people tough...resilient and capable.

When you baby someone.........you take away their power........

I see that while I have spent my entire life being a caretaker....it's time for me to stop that....and devote what is left of my time here working on me.  I need to better myself...and allow others to better themselves.... I go to bed at night hoping that family members get home from work safely........I stay by the phone in case someone needs me.........I set up my days to suit others...say yes when I want to say no.............do things out of love for others  to make them happy while it's not making me happy......

I think I need to work on me........Selfish is not a word that I am too familiar with....I wonder how it feels to be selfish.......I think that I am going to make it my job to find out!!!!

Quite a bit of snow last night, and there's still a light snow (flurries) coming down.  This is one morning I'm glad that I don't have the pressure of having to go to work!

My routine is off this morning, because I had to shovel first thing, rather than ride my bike.  I had to shovel, you see, because today is garbarge & recycling pick-up, so I had to get the cans to the curbside, but had to shovel first.  It took me a little over an hour to do.  Afterwards, I was hungry, so now I'm eating breakfast, rather than riding my bike.  Because I have no work today, waiting for my COVID test results, I can ride my bike later this morning.  It's just unusual to eat before I ride the bike.  My back is a little achy from shoveling, so I will take some Aleve and then ride the bike to stretch out the ache.

Yoga last night was wonderful!  I was able to keep up and stay coordinated.  I was trying to connect my movements with my breath, and stay in the moment.  I had a little trouble remembering the sequences, so if I didn't have the verbal cues, I wouldn't know what move to do next.  Well, that's what the teacher is there for, right? 

I do not have high ambitions for today.  I'd like to work on the puzzle, READ, upper body weights (maybe), looks like I'll have to shovel again, perhaps.

Picked up shopping at 10am as usual. 

Our driveway was a bit icy so I asked hubby to back the car up to the road. I have a fear of sliding across the road and into the loch! Had drizzle on the way home so it isn’t cold enough to snow.

I’ve been getting hungry mid morning and mid afternoon. So I’ve bought some filling snack bars - the quinoa/peanut/dk chocolate, and some fruit and oat bars. 

No workout today. I'll try to make more progress on the jigsaw puzzle. 

Menu: 

• B: porridge and blueberries, tea w/soy milk x 2
• S: coffee with coconut milk, quinoa/peanut/dk choc bar
• L:  6 veg salad with chicken and cheddar
• D:  Massaman curry
• Drinks: diet tonic, sugar free diluting fruit drink, water, tea & coffee, diet pepsi

Total:  under 1200

 19.5 Hours in the Sun/Cardio :)

organize clothing so i can drop off a donation whereever i can find an open bin to donate clothes this coming weekend...

kombucha 50

breakfast thicker bread end 200, cream cheese 50, egg 100, coffee included..

snacking: some sucking candies and a granola bar as of now..200

healthy lunch: tofu 100, 1small wraps 100, leftover cooked veggies 150, small orange 50. 400 maybe a black coffee. 

dinner the roasted breadcumb & cauliflower leftovers...but what meat???...may just do chinese takeout and save cauliflower for a different day, will order chicken with broccoli for dinner - chinese came with an egg roll fried, so ate the inside cabbage and small pork pieces and just a piece of the tasty fried shell 200, chicken and sauce 200, broccoli with sauce (tried to take some sauce off bc it's heavy chinese sauce but is very tasty and cheap by me - so i may keep ordering this!) 200. 600...dessert  4 kit kat fingers 210. 800 total....kombucha 50....

1850.

got some cardio via my commute...rounded it up to an hour bc i was also not sitting at my desk all day and was up running up and down the stairs a bit...to go to the office next door to drop things off.

plan to take it somewhat easy tonight...no exercise, just light cardio.  i went to bed late last night and already want to try to sleep earlier tonight.... :-)

have a nice day all!

It feels odd to be at home today, and I imagine that this feeling will only increase as the day progresses.  Even though I've been tested before, I'm still a little anxious about my appointment today.  I'm also feeling a little edgy about the anticipated snow storm we're supposed to get this evening into tomorrow morning.  

I did so much laundry yesterday.  I asked daughter for ALL of her laundry, which ended up being something like 5 or 6 full loads.  I did not sweep.  I did not do any yoga.  Opted to watch football last night instead, while doing laundry.  I read last night, but stayed up a little too late to finish the chapter I've bene chipping away at.  I do not want to spend whole my day today watching TV.  I can see myself sinking into re-watching Great British Baking Show or reruns of Midsomer Murders.  

I have yoga class tonight.  I would like to do upper body weights.  I would like to do treadmill.  

I think it will be a quiet day.

EVENING EDIT:  Feeling quite a bit anxious. Is it because my boss texted me to see how I was doing?  Is it because Nice Lady got rapid-tested today and I don't have my results yet?Is it the impending snow storm we're supposed to be getting (which I think we will indeed get a ton of snow)?  Is it the tightness in my left hip?  Everything?  Nothing?

Funny enough, I don't feel stressed about yoga tonight.  I'm looking forward to it.  I did walk on the treadmill, but no jogging - just my "usual" lunchtime walk.  

I decided not to do any weights today.  I decided to conserve my energy instead.  It's hard to explain, but the efforts to weight train differ than the efforts involved with walking or riding on the recumbent bike - at least for me they do.  I did sweep the floor, did a litlte reading, and took what felt like a much needed nap.

Scale: 159.0! First goal reached. Changing to next goal of 149. 

Change sheets and duvet cover and clean bedroom. 

Had some rain last night and it froze. High in the low 40’s later today. Husband went out on his bike at his usual 7:30 and came back in 10 minutes. Too icy. He’s gone back out now - 11 am - as the sun has been shining for a couple of hours and the temp has gone up. 

Menu: 

• B: porridge with blueberries, tea w/soy milk x 2
• S: coffee with coconut milk
• L:  6 veg salad, chicken breast, cheddar, 1 bacon, apple
• D:  Tom Yam Thai soup
• Drinks: diet tonic, sugar free diluting fruit drink, water, tea & coffee, diet pepsi

Total:  under 1200

Workout: increasing some weights and reps

• Spin bike: 30 mins - running, sitting, jumps, hill climbing 
• 3 x 10 lunges, squats using 2kg weights
• 3 x 10 side lunges and calf lifts using 4kg weights
• 3 sets x 10 of 5 upper body routines with the 3kg 4 kg weights
• 3 sets x 5 7 of 5 upper body routines with 2kg  

Floor routines:

• 3 sets x 10 thighs and bum wearing ankle weights (5 routines)
• 5 sets x 4 standing abs with ankle weights, bridge, planks, push ups (5)
• S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-S

18.5 Hours in the Sun/Cardio :)

starting again to gather up more clothes that i do not wear to clean up my closets / donate..have a small pile so far of around 8 tops to give away, trying to clean up my closets more.  Realized i have a LOT more gray, warm shirts than i thought!!!

8am breakfast: oats 150, raisins 150, almond milk 50, kombucha 50...400....

11am-11:45am healthy meal: lots of chips/pea crisps 350, 2 slices munster cheese 120, cauliflower oreganato (with bread crumbs and olive oil and spices, roasted) 200 and a little more especially of the breadcrumbs 100 and a sweetened black coffee 

4pm meal: fruit x2 200, fage 5% greek with apricot 150, black coffee

dinner: ????................

7:30 light evening snacking during weights: choc filled wafers 150, pb 150, water. 300.half a sparkling cider 50.

1900-1950...prob sleep early after weights....got lower body in also today.

.............will be my tofu and leftovers from i forget exactly when last week so I do not need to throw them out/waste them before buying any more food this week :)??? may eat this all for lunch tomrrow & bed early????............this will be tomorrow's lunch.

On my way home from work tomorrow or at lunch tomorrow, I may do takeout of chinese to bring home for dinner... :)...but first I'll eat tonight what I have at home in my fridge!  i also have some frozen meat, already cooked, that I am going to start eating more of :) I'm lucky i have those meat leftovers in my freezer - both my own cooking and my mom's.  I will be making good of the food I have at home as well as doing takeout on cooked veggies until i am better organized and used to the commute and my weekends slow down a little without the extra errands (like yesterday's driving to victoria's secret and spending lots of time out, shopping around. next weekend, i will pick up 2 guinea pigs (more) that i will be a foster mom to - until they are adopted! i get a cage with them too! so, that's a big deal for next weekend because it's around an hour's drive away to pick up the pigs....so when things die down, I'll cook more....

 NO COOKING today....i'll get by on salads for lunch most days at work and takeout veggies for dinner this week...may do takeout from a place by work and take it home with me :)...yup...probably tuesday bc it seems i have enough food right now for dinner Monday night still with leftovers!..maybe even enough food at home until Wednesday...willl try to be conservative with using up food and not wasting it as much as possible!

PM after walk Laundry and guinea pig cage cleaning - done early in AM DONE!

1-3pm nature walk, 20 min away by car locally, i signed up for...should be more relaxing than taxing...good way to end the weekend! we seriously walked a total of like 15 min out of the two hours! mostly just standing, listening to her teach us about the trees...i gave feedback that it'd be better to cover at least a mile walking over 2 hours, if not 1.5 miles (round trip)...it's not even to walk not even half a mile over two hours. that's wrong in this cold !!! lol. but, it was very informative. DONE!

fell asleep after the snack after the walk....for like a half hour....just laying on couch...then weights...

 AM PM after walk upper body weights before nature walk so that i can come home and know exercise is all done and i'm relaxing the rest of today.....hopefully...weights may go on tonight AFTER walk....because i'm not sure i want to rush them /eat / get laundry...so i'll do them tonight...should be OK as basically the only thing i need to do this evening :) in progress, halfway done at 7:30...to DONE!

My heart is crushed.

The girl had to go back with her mom, with the step-dad who still has the active TPO. I just don't understand why this is OK. It's like the bad guys always win!

Elections, cheating sports quarterbacks, useless mothers...all seem to come out on top, just blows my mind.

So this active PTO for the mother against her husband does not also cover minor children...this is especially disturbing because the girl is scared of him, but the finest of my city, made her go back because her mother is the custodial parent, regardless or not if she is a good parent...just that the court deemed her the custodial parent...anyway so upset about this situation it effected my stomach and I have been on the toilet all afternoon.

DH is sad, mad.

Despite that my weekend was ok. Walked the doggos twice a day on both Saturday  & Sunday.

Friday night we did have Chinese Food - General Tso Chicken, peanut chicken, beef & brocolli and mongolian beef - whole smorgasboard of food...still have some now.

Saturday;

Blood sugar - 118

B: yogurt, granola, vanilla iced latte

L: left over Chinese food

D: hamburger, lettuce, tomato (Tony Bologna was over)

We took him home about 8:00 and stopped on the way home and I had a stuffed chocolate chip cookie and a scoop of ice cream from DQ covered with peanut butter...so didn't need this and was over my calories by a lot...almost 700.

Sunday

Blood sugar 123

B: scramled eggs, bacon, biscuit

L: brioche bun

D: Itailian chicken pasta recipe DH got from Facebook - very good with Ceasar Salad.

Still just really, really sad...a dispair I was not prepared for. I even texted my son and let him know if ever there was a time in his life he didn't feel loved that I was so very sorry. I only wanted him to be happy and his happiness was how I based all my decisions when it came to where he lived and with who..his dad or me...unlike what I witnessed today.

Have a Sunday Night! IP

Good morning!  Happy Sunday!

I accomplished almost everything on my list yestserday with the exception of the following:

• Read
• Nap
• Cat Laundry
• Yoga

I plan to accomplish these things today, except for the nap, unless I need it. 

Let me just get all of this out there:  I'm sad that I did not do any yoga yesterday.  Why is it so hard for me to do?  Last night I could have done yoga in the evening, but I was a little full from dinner and opted to walk on the treadmill (no jogging) instead.  I think I'm a person that needs to be in-person.  The Zoom yoga I do on Monday nights has to be live or I'm inclined not to do it, even if I pay for it.  I've been very tempted to say, "Screw COVID", buy an annual class pass to the local yoga studio, and attend as many in-person classes as I can.  But then I see posts on FB from the yoga studio and realize that there are too many people there for my comfort level.  PLUS, then I struggle with paying for yoga that I can get for free if I would just get my butt to the gym that I belong to and already pay for!  Am I trying to be someone I'm not?

My daughter's sense of smell returned yesterday afternoon.  Her temperature has been normal since Friday night.  Having said that, last night she received her COVID test results, and she is positive.  I'm kicking myself that we weren't more careful with her and with ourselves on Thursday and Friday.  I feel fine; husband feels fine.  I will need to call my boss to see what he wants me to do, as far as work is concerned.

Today's List

• Cat Laundry
• Yoga - gonna try again
• Sweep main level
• Shovel the dusting of snow that we have on the driveway because husband is a fall risk
• Read
• Puzzle

AFTERNOON EDIT:  I am scheduled to have a COVID test tomorrow morning.  My boss asked me to stay home until I at least get my test results back. So that would mean I'm off Monday for sure, probably Tuesday, and maybe a little on Wednesday.

Damage assessment from indulgence day:  159.2! Some may be fluid, but I'll take it. I was 160.0 on Weds morning, then indulged all day in celebration.

My goal is to have no big indulgence days until my birthday in just under 5 weeks. But doing low cal every day until then is a very bad idea so I’ll do one or two days a week of higher calories but mostly adding healthy food and not junk. And one or two beers a week.

Cleaned bathrooms today. Walked down to our friends’ house (2 miles roundtrip) whose birthday it is today. Brought him a bottle of his favourite wine, and a bag of biscuits, sweets, crisps. Got more snow on the ground and it hasn't melted. It's just about 32F now. Very unusual for us.

Our First Minister (leader of Scotland) just said this morning that the 70+ will be getting notified about their vaccine beginning this week. 80+ are nearly done. So that'll be hubby soon. And I'm in the next age group. 

Menu

• B: porridge with strawberries, tea w/soy milk x 2
• S: coffee with splash of coconut milk
• L:  6 veg salad with chicken breast and cheddar and 1 (British) bacon, apple
• D:  Tom Yam Thai soup
• S: hot chocolate
• Drinks: diet tonic, sugar free diluting fruit drink, water, tea & coffee, diet pepsi

Total:  just over 1200

Workout:

• Spin bike: 30 mins - running, sitting, jumps, hill climbing 
• Jump rope 25 x 3 sets
• S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-S

16.5 Hours in the Sun/Cardio

vitamin gumies 2 servings elderberry 50 cal....very tasty lol lol

10:30 breakfast: oats 150, raisins 150, almond milk 50, kom 50..400

noon snack choc 100, coffee 50. 150

3:45pm full meal leftovers tofu 100, rice 200, thai veg in sauce 150..450...dunkin donut! bavarian cream 250-300 ...i really wanted boston cream, but they had hardly anything left at 3pm today!  750, black coffee probably...yes. And still fell asleep for a half hour 

 6:30 Blueberries 100

latr snacking chips and gummies 500

1950 total 

cardio ends up being an hour while shopping/walking woohooo 

Saturday Plans:

call geico, get my new rate after defensive driving, pay bill over phone asap...bill was $550 with discount but they also credited my previous 6 months for a discount, so my bill today was around $510..nice it wasn't the original $600! saved almost $100. DONE!

get few items from dry cleaners that were mostly resewn and repaired from last week along with a dress shirt I got dry cleaned that I only wear very infrequently and is a great shirt to be maintained in it's quality thru proper dry cleaning :-) DONE!

i have a coupon for two free victoria's secret panties if i buy anything in the store....so i want to do that...basically, it will be worth it, financially, as long as my purchase is very minimal...so i'll see how cheap i can go tomorrow in order two get 2 free new pairs of underwear. there used to be many more victoria's secret stores by me, one on my way home, but i learned they have closed....so tomorrow i'll be driving specifically to a store in order to get this deal, which is very worth it because the one purchase has no minimum meaning i can purhase the cheapest thing in the store to get two pairs of underwear, which i could use; DONE!

in the shopping center i went, there was an Express Outlet clothing shop - bought two shirts on clearance, one a thin turtleneck but i liked it was a turtleneck, though just cotton for $10; the other a warm sweater less than $20...figured i could use more and throw away some ugly sweaters that i should never wear again (like a bright green one i don't even like looking at!)..in the shopping center, i found a LARGE gourmet supermarket - picked up not much but a few prepared veggies that haven't been cooked - it's designed for me to heat up and already seasoned ...cheaper than the already cooked ones, so i got these and i'll get to eat them fresh from my oven - cauliflower oreganato. half the stores in the shopping center were closed for good - very sad the way things are changing.

i may do weights - upper only -  in the evening?? Tomorrow 

not much planned for cardio, minimal walk to cleaners....

Sunday 

local nature walk :) 

 laundry day ?

Wow, kind of depressing -- the last time I posted here I weighed 284 pounds, and now I'm at 330.

The "good" news is that my high between then and now was 417.

That's right, my high used to be 372 and I lost all the way down to the 280s... and then, even though I SAID I'd have to stay vigilant to keep it off, I didn't. And about 3 years later I ballooned up to 417 pounds. 

I hung out in the 390s for a few years and then gradually got it down to the 360s for a few more. Then I escaped from Alaska and lost 20 pounds the first year in Arizona, and 15 pounds the second year to get me where I am now. I seem to have plateaued at the 330 level for the last six months, so I need to do something "different" to get things moving down again. 

Happy Saturday!  I seem to be swaying between 148 and 145 this month.  Nice to see that I shed most of the bloat from TOM, at least.  

One thing I've noticed this month is that I really enjoy dessert after dinner.  I'm done fighting this craving or need or whatever it is.  It is who I am.  I love dessert, and want to make peace with this aspect of myself, rather than to be at a perpetual war, which sometimes implodes into a food fit.  So, I've decided that life is too short, and I need to find a way to incorporate a "dessert" into my life that is compatable with my goals. I've been able to be satisfied with 2 Hershey's kisses, or graham crackers.  I think I can expand on options, with the help of my food scale.  

I"m not giving up on my weight-loss goal, though.  I'm still very motivated to reach a more comfortable weight of 135.  

My goal for this weekend is to rest.  Last weekend, I felt so busy with chores.  Even though it was a great weekend, I need to rest until I feel back to 100%.  I want to do some of the following today:

• Read
• Puzzle
• Nap

I still have things to do today, though:

• My laundry - wash & dry
• My laundry - fold & put away (UGH)
• Husband's laundry - wash & dry
• Cat laundry 
• Mop main level - an unfortunate necessity thanks to kitty.  Thankfully I don't have to do the basement floor too.
• Fill bird feeders
• Spend time with plants - water, have a chat, maybe sing to them
• Yoga - if I don't put it on the list, I just won't do it.  This is not good.
• Upper body weights

Hmm, that doesn't look too relaxing, does it?  The laundry chores, is a relatively passive activity, except for folding & putting away (a chore I detest, so it's just better to get it out of the way)

Next weekend will not be so relaxing because I have to drive Husband to the VA hospital to get his 1st COVID vaccine shot.  Very, very glad that he is able to get this sooner, rather than later. This will take up my entire morning next Saturday, unfortunately, but it's totally worth it.  

15.5 Hours in the Sun/Cardio

Weekend plans:

Saturday

call geico, get my new rate after defensive driving, pay bill over phone asap...

i have a coupon for two free victoria's secret panties if i buy anything in the store....so i want to do that...basically, it will be worth it, financially, as long as my purchase is very minimal...so i'll see how cheap i can go tomorrow in order two get 2 free new pairs of underwear. there used to be many more victoria's secret stores by me, one on my way home, but i learned they have closed....so tomorrow i'll be driving specifically to a store in order to get this deal, which is very worth it because the one purchase has no minimum meaning i can purhase the cheapest thing in the store to get two pairs of underwear, which i could use.

saturday will be laundry day also.

i may do weights in the evening, saturday.

Sunday 

local nature walk :)

 My phone SIM card just flat out died. Therefore, my phone doesn't work at all!  So yes, i'm updating while at work here.

At lunch, i'm going to go to a nearby Tmobile store to replace it....what a hassle! LOL. who would guess a phone that's only 2 years old would have a SIM card just flat out stop working. It means i have no internet on the phone, cannot text, cannot call, cannot surf web. basically, it renders the phone useless.  Hope to fix during my "lunch hour." And you all know I will not stay late today at work. no no.

kombucha minimal

breakfast, rushed and annoying bc of my phone and making phone calls at work to Tmobile: one of my fancy nutritious bars 230, coffee 50, a small cinnamon roll tiny 120. 400...

snack: TBD pb on bread 300

lunch: healthy - leftovers curtosy of myself.  If i need caffeine, i'll make a free coffee at work (no monster today...or maybe a diet coke from the store, since i'll already be out...yes!) corned beef small amount 200, wrap 100, salad with light dressing 100. 500

dinner: i have leftovers still...had my own tofu 100, with some rice 150, thai veggies in a light basil sauce 250, picked up thai on the way home, quite a bit, large serving, kombucha 50, persimmon fruit i bought on the way home 50, chocolate filled wafer cookies 200....800..(very indulgent, but i knew i had calories to spare, hard to satisfy myself).

cider 100

2050....goodnight

I plan to buy some takeout on Saturday ;) already planning to do that...cooking is not really on my agenda too much for now...i have a lot of other more exciting activities to think about for this weekend.

I'm glad i did weights last night and i also stayed up late watching some tv in order to relax after lifting.  The shows were fabulous...seems that I may start changing my routine, dealing with less sleep every so often (as always), but also starting to watch some engaging tv shows and dateline news stories. my mind is searching for information and knowledge at the moment.!!! :)

have a great day, all.  catch up with you over weekend, it's been a busy bee week!