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I'm kind of stunned this morning......didn't eat much during the day yesterday...and wasn't hungry...but decided to eat something around 9 last night because i figured I would get reflux during the night if I didn't....so a little after 9...I had a peanut butter and honey sandwich, potato chips, and a little chocolate......I took tylenol and vitamins......and headed for bed at 10:30 and slept all night...( maybe turned over once)...never got up for a bathroom break...woke up at 5:30 and wide awake....and I'm full of energy again.........cause and effect.....considering the food basically contained protein, fat and sugar...the vitamins covered everything else...and the tylenol just has a calming affect on me....although not the healthiest thing to be ingesting...but the results...results don't lie......and I'm a bit surprised.

6 A.M. black coffee

Just made an observation........a few days ago while cleaning out a closet....i came across 2 quilted mattress covers...there was already 1 on the bed...so these were extras......I really didn't know where to move them too....but didn't want to get rid of them...they were nice and in great shape.....and it occurred to me that there are NO rules about how many mattress pads can be on a bed....there are no bed police...LOL....so I put them all on the bed at once.....and this bed has never been more comfortable......i really think that a big part of the reason i an sleeping so well is that the bed is just so comfy....and while i am not a big honey eater.....I suspect that last night that whole grain bread/peanut butter/honey sandwich just made sleeping a lot easier.........I can't remember how long it has been since I actually slept through the night without waking up or heading for the bathroom...I'm sure the tylenol made an impact on this all too......and that isn't a healthy thing to do...........I know I have never been one that needs breakfast......once again....trying to fit into a mold deemed necessary by others really doesn't work.....all of those years trying to fit into the 3 meal a day routine and then overeating in the evening and messing up the whole day........was so frustrating and futile............I just need to block everything else out....and seriously do what my body says it needs........this morning...I keep thinking about that honey/peanut butter combo....I think it may have been an epiphany.....( the fact is...I was found to be allergic to peanut butter many years ago...I have craved it my entire life)......obviously no really bad reactions.......and so i eat it.......but this morning....that combo keeps comming back to mind.......possibly a key to something here. It doesn't hgurt that it was all in WW points..............and d and I have fell into a habit where I cook for him and I eat when and what I want.......and no one is offended....no more eating what i don't want when i'm not hungry...no more eating something because it's there.........and the fact that he needs to control his high blood sugar while I need to raise mine.....brings it all into perspective....we can sit and have precious time together...but no where is it written that we need to be eating at the same time....it is freeing.

Going with husband to the airport. He’s going to visit his brother in Australia and will arrive back home 3 weeks from today.  It was decided it would be better for him to be with his other brother in Australia than changing complicated plans and staying here for the funeral. I will be going. (The widow agrees). 

Next year the plan is for us to go together to Australia early November then go from there to Thailand. 

My new glasses are finally ready so I’ll pick them up in Glasgow after the airport. 

Menu

B: soy yogurt w/berries, tea w/soy milk

L:  Glasgow

D: leftover veg/chickpeas and Quorn curry, diet tonic w/fresh lime and lemon

Total:  ?

Up and full of energy again....lots to do today.  Starting with black coffee as usual and not yet hungry.  I did order the rebounder so I'm looking forward to that..........finding out that I can just use the zero point foods and not worry about the WW dailies changes the game for me.......why didn't I know this before?  Online WW is just not as effective as meetings or what ever they now call them.........( a rose by any other name is still a rose).................

6 A.M. ...black coffee = 0

8 A.M. grapes = 0

D is off to the dentist and I am enjoying a little alone time....boy have I needed that!!!  Being retired is a lot like having little kids...there is a continual come here look at this....you need to hear this....will you come here and do this.......I could use a little help over here.....AGGGT..............finally...a little peace and quiet and it's glorious!  There is a very good reason why people can't become parents in their old age......because they become children themselves.....and I'm about to give my old child a time out!!!  Just sitting here soaking up the quiet!

 9 A.M. Lipton iced tea mango peach drops in water = 0

Lots of reorgnizing and sorting going on.....looks like a promising day as far as chores go......hip improving and I'm learning what movements aggravate it.....avoiding those and doing much better for the moment.

noon  a few kidney beans = 0

2 P.M. parmesan crackers and pimento cheese spread = 12

Just not a hungry day at all today but did end up eating a sandwich, chips and a little chocolate when I realized how long it had been and I knew I would end up with reflux all night.

I got to work early yesterday at 7:15 so I left earlier. I get home and watch something on TV and then I started cooking dinner. I completely forgot about my dental appointment. I felt bad when the receptionist called and was like...hey where are you. Rescheduled until next Monday, I will try not to forget this.

I made a mushroom roulade. It had a little bacon, onion, baby bell, crimini and shiitake mushrooms with fresh garlic and parsley and parmesean all rolled up in a pizza crust. This was delicious. The bacon was very little and just to taste.

I cleaned the kitchen and watched TV.

B; frittata, iced vanilla latte

S: sweet and salty bar

L: left over roulade, banana

S: balanced breaks

D: tonight I will make something. I have a few recipes. DH put rot roast on for the girl.

I slammed into a door knob at work today, can't wait for all the pretty colors of the bruise tomorrow on my forearm. There is already a ping pong size knot on my arm.

Have a great night! IP

We were headed to bed last night when I got a phone call telling us husband's brother had died. Unexpected but thought it would happen within the next year.  So husband and I couldn't sleep after that so we stayed up and husband had quite a few beers, and I had more than half a bottle of wine. 

Went to visit the widow today and she's holding up. Husband decided not to cancel his trip to Australia which is booked for tomorrow, and the widow agreed that it would be good for the remaining 2 brothers to be together.  So he'll go to Oz and I'll go to the funeral next week.  

On the way home we picked up a couple of big bottles of beer.  But I'll behave when husband is gone. 

SLEEP STATS: 7 hours, 6 minutes

OCTOBER GOALS:

#1 Active Every Day (21/31)

#2 Track Food

A decent workout yesterday; started with stair climbing, then did a 20 minute circuit, and finished on the bike. I could have kept riding the bike much longer. Definitely went vegan for 80% of the day yesterday. The extra carbs make me feel like I have enough energy to share with EVERYONE, but I did still want to sleep in this morning LOL.

TUESDAY:

toast with peanut butter, coffee with protein, krill oil, b12,

banana,

SLEEP STATS: 5 hours, 57 minutes

OCTOBER GOALS:

#1 Active Every Day (20/31)

#2 Track Food

It was quite the whirlwind weekend. Only two more weeks left in October; I can hardly believe it. I am still going strong on my October goals and my body is actually getting used to working out every day. It's adapting well; i'm recovering pretty quickly now and have been managing my energy levels alright. Maybe it's not perfect, but it's been pretty good! I have averaged a calorie burn of 470 kcal every workout, over and above any other activity I do throughout the day. My eating has increased a bit because of the extra activity, so I don't feel like I lost any weight, but I also haven't stepped on the scale to find out.

So, BF and I were talking over the weekend about nutrition. To make a long story much shorter, we have decided to try an 80:20 approach to eating vegan. It's way out in left field for both of us - we love our eggs, bacon, steak, etc. But we kept hearing about increased energy levels, increased performance with a vegan nutrition plan, and finally decided we should at least do a trial run. It won't be easy for us - it's a whole new way of eating and cooking that we'll have to overcome. We plan to start in November and will try it for at least the month.

In preparation, i've been researching various vegan recipes. Yesterday, we made a huge batch of black bean burritos, as well as vegan fried rice. Both are absolutely delicious. I also picked up the ingredients to make vegan sour cream, so i'll be making that this week as well.

Part of my :20 will be the protein creamer that I add in my coffee every day since it has animal proteins, but I just can't cut it out completely. The other part of the :20 will be the days or meals where we choose to have meat or eggs. 

If anyone has any great vegan recipes that closely resemble meat and potatoes but don't have the word 'tofu' or 'tempeh' in it, please send them my way ;) I know, that's a tall order. I'm feeling there will be a lot of black beans in my future...

MONDAY:

toast with peanut butter, coffee with protein, krill oil, b12,

banana,

vegan fried rice on lettuce, no sauce,

coffee with protein, orange,

vegan black bean burritos, ice cream for dessert

 Again taking time with my family.

Day 40 of 60.

1/3 of the way through. I’m 80% near a nervous collapse (but still have 20% left, lol). Possibly 60 days of making every day count may have been ambitious. But shoot for Rodeo Drive and you might make it to Nordstroms.

Made yesterday count by getting another window replaced, clearing out more stuff from the middle bedroom, handling a bad plumbing problem like a boss, and making more progress on setting up my bedroom for success.

Made today count (so far) by:

• Getting up at 5
• Having a kitty cuddle and feeding the cog an upgraded breakfast
• Going to bereavement group 
• Grocery run for dad favorites
• Signing up for a waitlist for an adult loss of parent support group 
• Nudging my dad to look at the forms I need him to sign for senior center, meals, and other business so I can take my life back

Remaining for today...

• Kitty dental follow up (augh)
• More work on front bedroom... I will have space to exercise first thing.

Interesting article on getting organized for weight loss. I liked what it said about controlling your hot zones...

https://www.organizeyourselfskinny.com/how-to-start-losing-weight-5-things-you-must-do-in-the-first-week/

I had an OK weekend. We didn't go to the spooky pooch because the girl's feet hurt from Marching Band. DH took her to her grand mother's house for a few hours. We went grocery shopping.

So had a little blow out this weekend, got p!ssy with DH. I told him from the start of our meatless eating, he could eat meat anytime he wanted, however, I choose not to. I also still feed the girl meat, so it is no big deal.

However, I was doing bills and ask him how much he owed on his credit card. He told me an amount like $500 and something. I'm like how, we just paid $500 on your card. He says no we didn't. So I pull up the bank register and show him. He says oh you're right. I bought this - bathroom stuff and I took Art (his friend) out to dinner. I said cool, where'd you go. He says Moosehead (it's a bar and grill) I asked what'd you eat, he says Ribs. Ok cool, so you couldn't tell me, you felt you had to try and hide it with the credit card I have no access to. He says no and then he says why are you mad about me eating steak. I said steak, I thought you had ribs? you had steak too? Then he says, we (the girl and him) had steak on Sunday. Ok, but again, why do you feel you have to hide it? You start hiding stuff and lying, I have trust issues. Anyway, it started a big confrontation. And he says, you would have gotten mad. How can he tell me how I will react? I tell him, sir you are wrong. I told you at the beginning you could eat meat, I just choose not too. The week I was home, everyone ate meat, and never once did I get mad, I don't know why you are the exception. Anyway, he lied about it and tried to hide it...and had the girl in on it...THAT'S why I got mad, not because he ate the meat. I'm not that die hard.

We went to the VebBash and that I didn't care about because of the DIE HARDness of it...Don't eat meat, animals have feelings too. Don't harm animals. I'm pretty certain God made the animals for food ergo I have no problem with people eating meat and I'm not going to cram something I'm doing down their throat, the way this seemed to be doing. The girl had an attitude, because she only wants to do things she wants to do and nothing else, so I'm kinda grumpy towards her too.

Anyway - Friday, I had left over bean burrito.

Saturday we got sushi from Sam's club which turned out to be really go - one was vegetable sushi with carrots, cucumber, cream cheese and avacado, the other was something with shrip, it was all very good. Sunday, I had a bagel with apple carmel cream cheese and for dinner I made egg foo young with the brocoli slaw, it was very good.

Today, I have the dental appointment to get my permanent crown put on...part2, hopefully this is actually mine and no someone elses.

Tomorrow has got to be a better day! Have a great night! IP

SLEEP STATS: 8 hours, 38 minutes (oh yeaaaaah!)

SUNDAY: 

banana, coffee with protein,

pancakes with protein isolate, peanut butter, two eggs,

black bean burrito

EXERCISE:  gym workout

Started out with coffee this morning as usual and waiting to eat breakfast......finding out some new things about WW that I didn't know...because for the last 5 years I have used online only...there definately is more info at meetings..( actually they don't call them meetings anymore...everyone is so confused...LOl)....but any meetings that are available to me are an hour away....so I continue with online and hope to pick up on the other things with you tube videos....I never knew that we don't need to use our daily points.....after years where we had to...apparently that was one of the changes I never learned about..so no more eating to use them up when we aren't hungry.....makes sense.  They apparently do want us eating 3 meals a day though....but we can pick the times.....Looking forward to the new changes in November...right now...I will be switching to a different plan within WW.....one with less zero foods and more tracking...That just suits me better......never was a total fan of the zero ones...that can get out ofd hand......I like the old count everything plans.

I've been considering getting another rebounder ( mini trampoline).......I had one years ago and liked it.........not sure if I want to tke up the room with one though..........they are supposed to be good for the immune system and also burning cals and just general movement.......at my age...I would get one with the bar to hold onto.....balance problems do come with age...and it would make me feel safer........maybe I will come to a decision today.

Lots to do here today...housework is truly never done.

Breakfast started with coffee at 6 A.M. and eventually had apple cinnamon yogurt at 9:30 for 5 points

Can’t go to the gym again this week (at the early morning time I prefer) until Thursday. Tomorrow morning I have an appt at the doctors to get routine blood work. Then Weds I am accompanying husband to the airport then picking up new glasses in the city.  So Thursday is gym and then Friday I’ll start shampooing living room carpets after deep cleaning and moving the furniture around. That will be a workout in itself. 

Menu

B: soy yogurt w/berries, tea w/soy milk

S: black coffee and quinoa/cranberry bar at gym

S: coconut/almond milk cappuccino

L:  6 veg salad w/turkey & cheddar

D: veg/chickpeas and Quorn curry, diet tonic w/fresh lime and lemon

S: blanched almonds

Total:  1046

Gym: 

treadmill - (intervals uphill and speed) - 10 mins

elliptical - 10 mins

rowing machine - 10 mins

recumbent bike -  15 mins

Leg press (22.5kg) - 3 sets of 10

Day 27 Addendum:  Mindful Eating Workshop

 I'm glad that I paid only $5 for the workshop.  I met a nice group of ladies, including one who is in yoga teacher training (she was the youngest of the group).  I also met another woman  who is a retired yoga instructor (oldest of the group).  We were a group of 5.

I feel like an hour was not really enough time to get into truly what Mindful Eating is or how to eat mindfully, like we just touched the surface.  The instructor leads a 6-week series, and I feel like THAT is probably the better way towards behavior modification.

As far as practical advise, she recommended:

• Slowing down
• Observing your food (looking at your full plate before eating, smelling your food before beginning)
• A little deep breathing before eating, to relax.

The book that she was trained with is Slow Down Diet by Marc David.  I'm not in any hurry to check it out.

  The one thing that I came away with from the workshop is how stressed out everyone is.  I could have sworn that every one of those ladies, except the retired yoga teacher, worked for a law firm or a real estate company.  None of them did, though, and yet, they were just as stressed out as me!  I'm not alone!

SLEEP STATS: 6 hours, 50 minutes

SATURDAY:

banana, orange, toast with peanut butter, two eggs, coffee with protein,

chicken breast, potatoes, corn on the cob,

Saskatoon pie

EXERCISE:

group workout at the gym,

one hour gravel ride 

The rest of FRIDAY:

banana,

gala food - pork with pear chutney, blueberry salad, potatoes, carrots, half a brownie for dessert 

EXERCISE: gym workout at almost midnight!

Day 27

 The remainder of the week has been most difficult.

I decided to leave early (1:00p) on Wednesday, did not go to Chair Yoga, stayed home, rested, napped, trying to feel better, taking zinc and a decongestant to avoid getting the full-blown sinus infection that my co-worker (Nice Lady) has had for the past 2 weeks.  I'm really angry that she has come to work, hacking up a lung, obviously sick.  She's not that busy.

While I was out Wednesday afternoon, my co-workers were left to deal with a high drama client & her agent (who is high drama too).  This High Drama Client carried on through Friday.  So on top of trying to catch up on my other files, this High Drama took so much time - and the client was condescending and berating, just going over and over the same thing, how awful I was, how much the attorney messed up, etc.  

On top of fighting a cold and dealing with High Drama and LOTS of work, TOM decided to hit, so I was battling that too.  

You'd think I'd get a break from all of this, but yesterday was Legal Clinic.  I'm seriously giving thought to giving this up, because it is starting to feel like an extra work day.  I come home and my daughter has a house guest that stayed until I started getting ready for bed!  So no relaxation yesterday.

I would love to relax today, but I have that Mindful Eating workshop today at 12:30p.  I hope to do some yardwork, which usually helps me decompress.  I hope.

Monday morning I'm signing papers to re-finance my mortgage before I rush off to work.

WILL THIS EVER STOP???

All this crap is making it really hard to reset myself for this week, where I'm sure to deal with more High Drama.  

THIS is why I hate my job. That I cannot even be sick for HALF A DAY without everything falling apart.

I did some research and found out that becoming a certified yoga instructor is very expensive and quite intensive over a short duration of time.  So, I've come to the conclusion that rather than have surgery on my fat, that the money would be put to better use learning yoga.

oatmeal and milk 230, yogurt 130. 360.

___________________________________________________________

I am still stressing, a lot.

I'm not about to lose my job but i do not feel certain i'll have this same one forever or for the same pay. I don't feel confident i could do a higher level of work, either, in this industry. I'm extremely stressed out. 

I'm looking over the court assistant book - test is in 2-3 years but i'm not confident that i'd get that job either when the opportunity comes. I feel so worthless. I may take an online course in paralegal, but first want to get thru the study guide that i have at home.

did some abs crunches before breakfast :)

Oatmeal with whole milk 230, apricot yogurt 130, iced coffe 50. 

noon lunch: apple 100, wrap and avo 300, egg 100. 500.

3:30 pb on cracker 

1100

prob around 2000.

______________________________________________________

at 10:30am, i'm attending a 5k (turns out the walk was shorter than a 5k, and we left just as my back was starting to bother me as i don't walk much lately, so the walk was good and not overboard) walk for Autism- was invited by a club i'm in and paid $20 last night. I'm not sure how much i'll do - we'll see how i feel. either way, rest of the day i will be home.  it's close - which reminds me i must be ready to leave my place aound 9:30 which is in a half hour! boy does time fly - especially today as i was thinking to look over some legal words. I guess i can do that later, in the afternoon...

Tonight i have a dinner to attend - the nice thing is that it's RIGHT around the corner at the union hall by my apt. I told Ricky i'd go with him.

Already thinking about packing even though it’s 6 weeks before we leave.  We have discovered that our airline - Emirates - no longer offers spirits in economy class, only beer and wine.  And hubby and I really enjoy having gin and tonics on long haul flights - makes it easier to sit still for so long. He also likes a whisky.  So he’s about to fly to Australia on Weds - one of his flights is 14 hours long! We have ordered packs of single serve whisky and gin and we can carry 2 or 3 in our liquids bag. 

Menu

B: porridge w/berries, tea w/soy milk

S: coconut/almond milk cappuccino, quinoa/peanut bar

L:  6 veg salad w/turkey & cheddar

D: chickpea/veg and Quorn curry, diet tonic w/fresh lime and lemon

Total:  1051