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BearCountryGG - Saturday Mar 10, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 218.0

Up early as usual and feeling wonderful. 

Scales down 2 pounds and I really feel it today...definately time to trash some clothes and dig out some new ones.  

The mat for the Simply Fit board arrived so it's time to give that a try today I'm also incorporating some stretchy bands today that have been packed away for 3 years.....( need to test those for their safety)

Glucose is 95 today and perfect........protein/fat/carb meals are my answer and will be my way of life and it won't be hard to maintain.



oatmeal bread toasted


Multi vitamin, extra C, zinc, omegas, turmeric, baby aspirin


Chicken sandwich, salad


Tuna salad sandwich, tomato red pepper soup, apple


As I mentioned a few days ago....I will be taking some time off from DD....Things have been busy and will get busier while D has his surgery preps and then recovery....

We have a lot of things to do around here beforehand plus the family member with cancer is having his stem cell treatment...at about the same time and I'm committed to them too............so I'm so happy to finally have a workable diet plan for my health.....and I'm happy to be feeling so well myself because the next few months will be about other family members......the activity will actually be good for me...and I'm looking forward to being busy and active....I will be back when I can.



Progress as of today: 37.4 lbs lost so far, only 73 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/10/2018:
I'm glad you are taking a break while feeling the best you can. Good luck to your hubby and also the other family member...

your foods look GREAT...wayyyy healthier than mine today! :)

Donkey on 03/10/2018:
So glad that you figured out a good food combo plan before you became busy. Now you can focus on the busy, because your food plan is on automatic. And nothing wrong with sandwiches!

Maria7 on 03/10/2018:
Congrats on your new lower number. Take good care of yourself while you are taking care of others.

BearCountryGG - Friday Mar 09, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 220.2

We struggle...I know I do!

One thing I remember from the foster parenting days is that we can't take the genetics out of a person....and that enviornment only does so much...genetics...keep rearing their ugly heads..

Our childhoods play such a large part in our adult lives.......the genetics were already there and then add to that our first life experiences...and the result is a heady mass of influence that we carry through life with us.

Everything old is new again........there is nothing new under the sun.....D and I were discussing our enjoyment of the the old POPEYE cartoons from our childhood....and I realized...that popeye said it all.

" I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam....I'm Popeye the sailor man...toot...toot!"

Maybe just maybe we do what we do for reasons we can't control....and maybe we have trouble changing because it is so unnatural for us.  

Maybe when we force ourselves to do something that is different "for  our own good"  we end up returning to our old ways again when the going gets tough because that is what we are programmed to do.

Maybe I need to honor what I am about...and just be me.

Maybe I need to follow my own instincts...now I know for a fact that I can keep my blood sugar stable all day long with bread, a protein and a fat....I know it's not popular for weight loss...which I really need to achieve....so I am in a weird place right now....the headaches and mood swings are totally gone...I'm full of energy and feel really good....apparently my low glucose has been really messing with me for years in ways that I didn't realize.  I always was a carb person...and maybe that was because that is what was needed to keep my glucose stable.

Any person into dieting is going to tell me to dump the carbs and hit the veggies and I get that...but when I dump the bread/cereal/pasta/crackers/cookies/potatoes...my glucose drops and I feel crummy...24 hours a day.

For the last couple of days I have been eating

oatmeal 1 pkt

4 slices bread or 2 bagels


along with beef, tomatoes, green beans, butter, olive oil, peanut butter and kidney beans and cheese and protein shakes.


So now I've proven to myself what I have to eat to keep the blood levels good...........now I need to figure out how to eat those daily and still lose weight...because my weight was up a little this morning.......looks like a balancing act that....I'm beginning to see why I have been so driven to carbs...I will figure this out...but I will say one thing...I will be keeping the glucose up because I feel great!!!

In the end...If I have to choose between good glucose and being fat...the glucose is going to win.  

For the last 2 days the numbers are perfect...something that I haven't been able to achieve for years...it's been lower  and lower and then sugar to bring it to a little higher place...but basically hardly ever in the normal range....

I remember DONKEY mentioning protein....and while I had never had success with that...I knew others had..........so I did some research...and DONKEY was right....but I had to add the grain and fat to make it work...and it was my miracle.....

Now I will have to find the balance between the 2.......so far today it's going well again......why didn't I figure this out years ago???????





Progress as of today: 35.2 lbs lost so far, only 75.2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/09/2018:
I remember Popeye and his girlfriend. So cute! Too bad they don't have more of these kinds of innocent entertaining cartoons and videos these days instead of so many violent entertainments for the very young folks.

bearcountrygg on 03/09/2018:
I agree...we were innocent kids...and when it comes down to it...there were messages there for us that were not negative or bad for the most part. Even nursery rhymes were honest...they sounded evil...but they taught us things.....jack broke his crown ( head)....jack spratt and his wife ( he ate no fat she ate no lean), rock a bye baby falling out of the tree, they sound ominous...but they were simple lessons....

horn_of_plenty on 03/09/2018:
i have a thought for you, take it or leave it of course, but when you say "you wanting to just be you" i think you are making an excuse for not exactly knowing yet what works!? i do the same of course at times / many times - i am just saying that you have to promise yourself to stick with something ...for at least one week straight...harder said than done...

are you ok on lower blood sugar counts?...maybe your normal is slightly under, tho i can be quite wrong. same with me, i think my normal is under...at last for blood pressure.

bearcountrygg on 03/09/2018:
With lower blood sugar counts I have a headache and foggy vision...and while I lived with that for many years.....now I know that both of those are gone when the numbers are between 90 and 100. So I'm not okay with it anymore. I agree...I need to stick with one thing for at least a week...I'm on day 3 of high protein/carb/fat....and I'm not going to stop that because it works....now making it work for weight loss at the same time is something else.

horn_of_plenty on 03/09/2018:
so continue for 4 more days... :) good job lady....i always would get the symptoms too of the shakiness low blood sugar..

trishpiglet3 on 03/09/2018:
We are all so very different in what we need foodwise. If it takes some time to work out then it takes some time to work out. Good luck with sticking to it as horn_of_plenty also says.

And Yay Popeye! FAO Maria, in the UK in the 1970s we had some really sweet kids TV programmes with puppets, zero violence and lots of life lessons. :)

bearcountrygg on 03/10/2018:
I agree 100%...we are all different...and we all have to figure out what we really need...trying things is the only way to do that.

BearCountryGG - Thursday Mar 08, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 219.2

Very very snowy here...and super snow man type of snow........and we had 1 poor robin......poor little guy....he wil have a pretty difficult time finding worms right now...he hangs around our bird feeders but he doesn't eat the seeds...( robins don't)...

On another note...some scammer stole my phone number and is calling people with their scam and my number is showing up on peoples phones as a missed call.....and then they are calling me!!!!   UGH!!!!!     So now...I only answer calls from people I know....and have changed my voice mail message to an apology and an explanation..............what is wrong with people????? 

Sticking to my 3 meal a day plan....max 1,500 cals  Boring but it takes the food from my every thought....and that helps me.

Progress as of today: 36.2 lbs lost so far, only 74.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2018:
I'm telling you, sometimes too many choices isn't good...and when making something a habit or trying to take in control...it is better to plan :) if you don't plan, you plan to fail.

bearcountrygg on 03/08/2018:
For now I had to limit my choices....the repetition does make me less interested in eating...and that can be a good thing. I don't think we should be so rigid that we never have a treat....but we need to look at it as a treat...not as a daily gorge fest....at least you don't have much to lose....

trishpiglet3 on 03/08/2018:
Sometimes you can do a swap instead of the treat. Something still nice but healthier. Damage-limitation.

I don't understand the mentality of people who do scamming things. Is it greed? Do they get money from it?

bearcountrygg on 03/08/2018:
Yes...I can swap things as needed,,,,,just want to keep it simple so I don't think about it much.. The scammers....I have no idea how their minds work....I'm not sure what this one that stole my number is asking of people...no one has told me specifics...but...they are always out for money...but I'm not sure what this one is about...they don't profit from me personally...but they use my number to hide behind and scam people into sending them money........I have never understood the criminal mind...

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2018:
yeah, i am going to stop with the peanut butter keebler crackers in the mornings soon...getting back to basics here too...cutting down the extra sugars soon. right now, just planning better :)

bearcountrygg on 03/08/2018:
For me...keeping the problem stuff out of the house is the answer...I'm not good at ignoring it...if it tempts me. Wish I had better self control with food.

Donkey on 03/08/2018:
Robins don't eat seeds??? Oh my... I've been putting bird seed out for them, thinking I'm doing a good thing. That would explain why I haven't seen any robins. Cardinals, sparrows, chickadees, squirrels, Mrs. Bunny...

bearcountrygg on 03/09/2018:
Robins like worms, and berries...and possibly insects ( not sure on that one)....but no seeds......LOL...go out and dig em up some worms...add some berries...and they will love you forever.

BearCountryGG - Wednesday Mar 07, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 219.2

Still feeling good and energetic...well...as energetic as an old lady can feel!

For some reason I am thinking that a breakfast of 2 cups coffee, my vitamin medley, a packet of instant oatmeal and a high protein shake or diet protein shake mix...is the absolute breakfast winner for me, it sticks with me until lunch, and it keeps me moving.  I don't want to get into a rut though and there are other kinds of food around here...but so far...that s the WINNER!

Multi vitamin, extra c, zinc, turmeric, baby aspirin, omegas



1pkt oatmeal = 160

Slim Fast protein shake = 180


Okay....I have spent several hours putting together diet plans for both D and I

He now has a guidline from his doctor....he is diabetic , I am hypoglycemic  .....so we have totally different needs...and for days now..I have been preparing 2 different meals for us....cruciferous veggies are good for him...they are terrible for me.......carbs are good for me...they are terrible for him....meat is good for both of us until someone shows some kidney issues and then they will be cut back.  Fat is bad for his liver, but good for my glucose.  We both have to have sugar available to equalize glucose...but we can't eat it randomly.......Dairy is an issue for me ( lactose intolerance) but good for him.  

Cooking isn't what it used to be,..PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!!!!

So I have been preparing 2 different meals at the same time lately.

Now about mine............

I had been getting a bit bored with calorie counting

I went back over old ww paperwork and noticed that I lost most of it eating sandwiches...to keep the temptations at bay...and that fits in perfectly again now.


I made up a plan for myself that gives me options for each meal and that  keep the calories in check..and covers all of the food groups...no counting...no weighing or measuring foods, and no looking up calories.  It's simpler than I expected...but I knew it would be a better option.


my breakfasts will all consist of

2 cups coffee

1 protein drink..( slim fast, nutrisystem, premier protein etc)

and either 1 pk oatmeal, or 1 piece toast, or 1 bowl dry cereal with almond milk

vitamins and minerals and a baby aspirin


My lunches will consist of

a sandwich containing a protein and a fat

2 vegetables

and a simple dessert if desired such as 1 cookie, 1 pudding cup, fruit cup, etc


Dinners will be

a sandwich containing a protein and a fat

a soup of choice or a salad of choice

a fruit


This plan keeps me in a good place calorie wise, limits my sugars yet keeps my glucose up with the carb/protein/fat in all meals.

I will be able to use the protein and some veggies from D's  meals......and then he will have some things I won't have and I will have some things he won't have......it will work out...we have been doing something very similar over the last few days and it's fine.

So I probably won't be listing my foods daily now on most days...it will basically be close to the same every day........and it helps me to think of food less myself.

I once had a ww leader who ate the same thing every day...with basically no variation....and it worked for her...she said the boredom of it made keeping her weight off, possible....her meals consisted of B. Cereal/milk.......L.Sandwich......D. salad and meat.........

At the time I didn't think that was a possibility for me.....but years later...it did click and I lost 55 pounds basically on sandwiches and granola bars......... but then drug reps started bringing meals into the medical office I worked in and it all came back with the sumptuous foods they delivered almost daily.  

Well...I guess I've come full circle now...and I can see where it makes the most sence for D and I............this gives us the foods we like and need, helps our health, allows us to lose weight...and gives us a treat now and then...so far it's working...I'm down 3 pounds and that feels good...pants are getting loose again and I'm rolling up my shirt sleeves daily...so....we are happy!


Progress as of today: 36.2 lbs lost so far, only 74.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2018:
you put the shake in the oatmeal or separate? good ideas here on breakfast...good eats overall.

bearcountrygg on 03/07/2018:
Separate.....the slim fast shakes are in a bottle...I make 1 pkg flavored or plain oatmeal in a coffee cup with water from the Keurig. I know those shakes have bad stuff in them...but I'm at the point where I don't care...it works...and that's what I'm going for.....I avoided that stuff for years at a time in the past....but now I really just want to get it all sorted out....LOL

horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2018:
after i eat up or get sick of my peanut butter crackers which aren't satisfying, i need to rethink breakfast :)

bearcountrygg on 03/07/2018:
They are a bit high in cals...we have some here...D calls them his truck food..LOL They don't satisfy me...maybe its the salt...I want more.

horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2018:
yeah they satisfy me for like one hour! :) they are just fun food.

bearcountrygg on 03/07/2018:

Maria7 on 03/07/2018:
Congrats on your progress. You are doing really well. Have a good day.

bearcountrygg on 03/07/2018:

BearCountryGG - Tuesday Mar 06, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 222.2

Up and feeling good....glucose was 86.......ok...but a touch on the lower side so I added orange juice to my breakfast....that should help.  13   hour over night fast......I'm loving it!! 

3 meals a day and no snacks and protein/fat/carb heavy meals are  the answer for me....The 12 to 13 hour fast overnight is a super big help.......

I am absolutely much better off if I do not eat every 3 hours or graze all day.....3 meals and no snacks has given me so much energy...plus it keeps me eating better meal type foods and no or less junk /snack type food......

I was tempted to snack last night, but didn't want to break any new habits...so I drank some water...and went to bed at 9:30..read a little and fell asleep.  I'm actually sleeping better now too.......where I sometimes slept only 4 to 6 hours a night...I'm now sleeping 7 or more.....I think my body would rather I go to bed on an empty stomach....the water in the evening did get me up for 3 bathroom breaks...but I fell right back to sleep...so that was fine.

My hip is a lot better in fact I never noticed any pain this morning at all....I'm clearer minded and I've noticed my eyes are not getting tired in the evening...I had been getting very fuzzy sight about 8  in the evening...and was having problems reading.  I'm thinking that less junk food eating is helping...or higher glucose levels may have something to do with it but I LOVE IT!

1,200 to 1,500 calories for day

multi vitamin, extra c, zinc, omegas, turmeric, baby aspirin


yogurt ( flip type containg peanuts) = 200

orange juice = 140

coffee = 0




Toasted bagel with spray butter and peanut Butter = 470

4 mini beef sticks = 160

clif bar = 230

propel water = 0


beef and whole wheat sandwich

veggie straws

fruit with chia seeds

Spring was coming......and then THIS!!!!

Progress as of today: 33.2 lbs lost so far, only 77.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/06/2018:
i also enjoy a long fast from dinner till breakfast...i can usually do it on weekends when i can sleep in a bit :)...i also feel good letting my body rest and not just eating constantly. glad you are overall feeling better and soon the Spring weather should also help.

bearcountrygg on 03/06/2018:
yes...still waiting for spring...Supposedly the 12 or more hour fast lets fat get burned...but I bet you don't have much fat anymore.

horn_of_plenty on 03/06/2018:
my fat came back a hair...i am working on that now :)

but still i hear it's good to give your digestive system a rest....for the time fasting...i hear it's good for all you funny lady.

thanks for the compliment.

bearcountrygg on 03/06/2018:

trishpiglet3 on 03/06/2018:
Beautiful picture.

Glad your hip is feeling better :)

I need to take a leaf out of your book and stick to meals without snacks.

bearcountrygg on 03/06/2018:
I used to think I needed the snacks...but I did find out that it didn't hurt me to wait awhile...in fact I'm thinking when I'm hungry maybe I'm burning fat...LOL

happy-1 on 03/06/2018:
What would happen if you swapped oatmeal for bagels?

bearcountrygg on 03/06/2018:
I did have oatmeal for a couple of days...and I think it worked very well....in fact I think the oatmeal and a bottle of slim fast shake was probably the best combo.

happy-1 on 03/06/2018:
Gorgeous photo. Swap you for LA anytime!

bearcountrygg on 03/06/2018:
We have 9 inches of snow right now...and it's still coming down....I could actually go for some of your California sunshine about now...

happy-1 on 03/06/2018:
Gorgeous photo. Swap you for LA anytime!

happy-1 on 03/06/2018:
My ultimate oatmeal combo is keeping me pretty steady energy-wise and yummy. I only feel like eating in the AM and late at night when it's not hot. My ancestors were polar bears I swear. It's barely March and I'm contemplating an ice bath tonight when I get home.

bearcountrygg on 03/07/2018:
I think oatmeal is a winner for me too....but I need a protein with it. No need for ice cold baths here...I'm into being warm...LOL

BearCountryGG - Monday Mar 05, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 222.2

Nothing to eat yesterday after 4:30 P.M. dinner ( heavy carb/protein/fat)..except a little bit of propel zero cal drink about 5 P.m. ....AND THEN ...nothing until my 1st cup of coffee at 6 A.M. today...and my glucose was 93 this morning.....absolute perfection!!!!

This is a huge improvement over my previous 70 to 80 for so long...the normal reading should be between 90 and 100...I tend to be 80 and below...and usually fight to get it up to 80...just to be fairly close....but getting up in the morning and finding 93 is super exciting for me.

The bottom line is......blood sugar normal readings first...and weight loss second.

I'm thinking that my answer is high carb/fat/protein...and working other things in when I can...( I don't naturally have a big appetite and I do fill up quickly...so...I will do what I can...yesterday I also only ate 3 meals...and no snacks other than the zero cal propel.  No between meal snacks and the approx 13 hour fast worked great too........this is my new plan....including daily calories between 1,200 and 1,500.  The most exciting thing for me is NO HEADACHE...and my hip is feeling better than usual...not sure why.....but I got up this morning super happy and feeling a lot better than usual and I want to keep that going....I always knew...since childhood..that I didn't fit into the typical eating mold.  I was never a hungry kid....and I always have known since adulthood...that I felt better when I was eating the worse carbs....bread has been something that would often take my headaches away.....yup...I'm weird....I will just go with that.


coffee = 0......at 6:00A.M.

Multi Vitamin,extra c,baby aspirin,turmeric,zinc, omegas

6:45 = oatmeal = 160

slim fast shake = 180



Well...I am just full of energy today...stripping bed and washing everything in the laundry rm....packing and TAPING boxes and stacking them....sorting and finding things to donate or toss.  BOY...I didn't know how bad I felt until I felt good!!!!



ground beef on a whole wheat bun with mustard and aioli = 570

small banana = 90

propel water = 0




1/2 cup red beans and rice =197

1/3 cup beets = 32

1/3 cup corn = 69

1/4 cup peas and carrots = 28








 1326 for the day




Progress as of today: 33.2 lbs lost so far, only 77.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2018:
i see you are making calorie goal from 1200-1500...keep in mind that 1200 is very low and so is 1500...if i were in your position, i'd make my daily avgs from 1400-1700 :)...but to each their own and if it works for you, i am not you, so keep on BCGG your way :) Awhile back, i also used daily avgs as 1400-1500 and my first time ever dieting i used 1200's...i would end of binging more the first time and also when i was eating 1400-1500 as it seemed it was a drastic change in calories for me to keep up with (the low calorie counts were hard to keep up with, i mean). but when i did the 1200's first time, i easily lost at least a lb a week if not more - i was in college, really young, fast metabolism, never really dieting for a long period ever before in my life at that point.

each time i have dieted after that, my calorie counts at the lowest tend to be 1500's (2 years ago to drop in the end to my current weight) and after that really the lowest i go is 1700/1800 and once i awhile below that but not sustained.

i'm glad you are getting your blood sugars under control also. i think mine have a big tendency to dip low also...would be good maybe if i took a real look at mine and tested (never have) on my own. great job getting yourself healthy and feeling good.

bearcountrygg on 03/05/2018:
I feel good...and I will adjust the calories as I go....It is very hard staying at 1,200...I totally agree. Basically I kept the highest limit (1,500)to help keep me from adding sugary stuff to fill in at the end of the day....my current goals aside from managing glucose was to also try to lose a little wt at the same time...and sticking to 3 meals a day...otherwise I graze too much...but as I go along...I will adjust the calories...I agree. Part of my issue is that I also don't have an ability to hold a lot of food at one time...restaurant meals are basically 3 meals for me.....I think I do have a small stomach....many years ago a doctor told me that I have petite organs...yup....a fat 222 once 255 pounder can still have small organs....just a lot of fat around them...LOL.....my bladder has also been described as very small...so I'm going to look at everything after a few days of good glucose numbers...you are doing great....keep it up...you have been super successful....I hope to get there one day myself....thanks for the info....I will remember it. Also...you can buy glucose meters very inexpensively over the counter in drug stores and places like Walmart and target...and it is well worth the trouble.....poking a finger every day is not fun..(I set the lancet at the lowest setting and I usually go for the end of my little finger)...but it says a lot when the numbers are out of wack....headaches, mood swings, lightheadedness, coma, death.....it's important for general health and happiness...I had gotten in the habit of treating it when it went haywire...now keeping it from going haywire is my goal...and I feel so much better.

horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2018:
oh, and i think carbs in general make most people feel better :) there is nothing wrong with a slice of bread in my opinion :)

bearcountrygg on 03/05/2018:
They do forsure......

trishpiglet3 on 03/05/2018:
Glad you're feeling much better. Absolutely agree on the blood sugars being most important x .

bearcountrygg on 03/05/2018:
Thank you...it's like night and day!

BearCountryGG - Sunday Mar 04, 2018
(CEO of my life)
Weight: 222.2

I couldn't stay away from you guys for long................................

I've made a plan to not only work on weight but to also work on the other life things that I have been pushing aside, that add stress to my accomplishing anything at all......

By getting other life things done...I will also be up and moving around more...........

I've decided that since I am the CEO of my own life...then I should do a lot better job of running it.

I now have a daily schedule of things to do and it is non negotiable...( unless I have a broken leg or the house is on fire)  LOL

I'm looking at my daily schedule as if it is a job and future weight loss as if it is part of the job.

For the first time in awhile...I will also add daily exercise ( nothing major, just using at home equiptment)...non negotiable

Working on eating to control blood glucose and weight loss

Vitamins = multi, extra c, turmeric, zinc, omegas, baby aspirin

1,200 - 1,500 cals per day


Slim Fast drink = 180

flavored oatmeal = 160






Hamburger, whole wheat bun, aioli and mustard = 430

9 potato wedges = 140

1/2 cup corn = 60

propel water =0

coffee = 0




ciabata roll = 180

shredded beef = 110

aioli = 60

vegetable juice 11 ounces = 70





D= 420


1,410 cals for the day

No more eating this evening...other than water and possibly tea......planning on having 12 to 14 hour fast overnight.









Progress as of today: 33.2 lbs lost so far, only 77.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/04/2018:
I definitely agree with this approach as a way to keep yourself more productive. I find for myself that if I do not have a plan or a task to accomplish each day, I will spend most of the day doing nothing... Much like yesterday, but I am ok with this as an exception, not as a rule (i.e. daily occurrence).

I think Dr. Oz would approve of you taking charge of your health as a CEO, not just on a diet/exercise thing, but physically overall and especially mentally/emotionally. Do you agree? :-)

bearcountrygg on 03/04/2018:
I agree completely! I seem to run hot or cold...all in...or all out......getting things done...or doing nothing at all....I think the idea that I am responsible...not what is going on around me but me...it's on me and I need to get it done!!!

Maria7 on 03/04/2018:
Happy to see you back. You've already been missed by us DDers. You have a very interesting journal to read and also inspiring and informational. Welcome back! :-)

bearcountrygg on 03/04/2018:
I actually thought I would come back after my husband has his surgery....because there is a lot to do beforehand...but, I guess I really didn't want to take the time off. I missed you guys.

Donkey on 03/04/2018:
Yes, there is a LOT of prep before surgery. My husband had to do that pre-op class, too, which included several knee replacement patients. You should plan to attend the class, too, if you can. My daughter went with my husband and filled me in on everything my husband "forgot"...

bearcountrygg on 03/04/2018:
Yes...I will be going.and I will also be his chauffeur to physical therapy...because it's his driving leg....we have 5 bear hunting dogs in the kennel too....and I will be the one taking care of them...they are huge...and strong...so I have to start getting more involved with them too...so that they see me as an alpha...( someone who they have to mind)...there are also some more things at the drs office too...which I have to go to...I did get his walker things ordered...we had one but they want it to have wheels on the front...and tennis balls on the back...so they are on the way.....he is buying 50 pound bags of dog food ahead...4 at a time...so that I don't have to go get them...so far he has 8.....( 5 big dogs eat a LOT OF DOG FOOD).....I haven't had to feed dogs for several years....I have done it in the past....but I was a lot younger then....we will get through it.

BearCountryGG - Saturday Mar 03, 2018
(Non negotiable dieting rather I like it or not)
Weight: 222.2

Guess I couldn't stay away long...LOL

I've been doing a lot of thinking.....and remembering how easy it all was at one time....and what made it easy.

I was super busy at that time, my days were jam packed, I didn't have time to think about anything.  

Now...I have all the time in the world and I think way too much.

I have a list of at least 30 things in my head that need to be done and I haven't done any of them so I got my day planners back out ( just like the old days) and I started adding these things to the planner.  

I LOVED WORKING AND GOING TO SCHOOL!  So the plan is to use these scheduled things as my non negotiable daily responsibilities.

We are busy right now setting up the classes, walker and things they want D to do before next months surgery, so while I was on Amazon I ordered the pad and a senior citizen CD for that SIMPLY Fit exercise thing I have but have never used.

The protein /carb/fat meal thing is doing amazingly well for my glucose...it was 80 after eating breakfast...and while that is defianately not in the 90=100 range where it should be,.....it is not in the immediate danger zone of below 70...so for me that is great......and I have lost the sugar cravings...so it works.

I really think that retirement can be overrated.......I got lazy and stopped expecting anything of myself...everything gets put off for the next day...and that day never seems to come........so.....I've decided to be the CEO of my own life...LOL...get off my rear...and get busy doing everything that needs to be done instead of pushing it aside day after day.

I will be back tomorrow with my daily food list and I will be planning on 1,200 to 1,500 calories per day.

Progress as of today: 33.2 lbs lost so far, only 77.2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG - Thursday Mar 01, 2018
(Non negotiable dieting rather I like it or not)
Weight: 222.2

I woke up at 4:30 today but didn't get out of bed until almost 6.....D was going for bloodwork and wanted to sleep as late as possible...shower and leave, so I stayed quiet and let him sleep....it was actually a good thing...it gave me some time to do some self talk...in my head.  

I realized that I have been so obsessed about things and I have been wasting time doing that when I could actually be doing something that I know is productive for me.  

I watch Dr Oz ALOT!!!!  Of course he pushes healthy eating....lots of greens, nuts, veggies, etc......pretty much what all weight loss diets push....but I have noticed of late...that Dr Oz is admitting that number one...he has health problems that are escalating....number 2..he has been having guests on, that contradict what he has been pushing...and he admits to that.....and when I looked up how to manage blood sugar recently it said to eat protein/fat/carb combos.....and IT WORKED!!!!!  Now maybe it's just me... but I'm not craving sweets at all right now....I'm still craving carbs/fat....but so far no sweets...and my glucose levels have been perfect since the protein/carb/fat meals....so for me...THAT'S A THING!!!!  I'm happy and relieved that it was that easy.

I once lost 55 pounds eating lots and lots of sandwiches and granola bars...and maybe that is why. Maybe my Glucose levels were managed with that.

Of late I have been starting lots of PROJECTS....and not finishing them...I look around and I'm frustrated...the master bathroom countertop is filled with bottles, baskets of stuff, things out of place and just general mayhem....I keep telling myself that I want to sort stuff...yet...I NEVER DO!   I do load after load of laundry and toss it on the counter and walk away......I paid a bill late in February ( a first for me)...because there was a pile of bills on the desk...and I didn't FEEL like sitting down and writing checks...when I did make myself sit down and write them...one was over due by three days and one was due that day...and I've been paying for that 3 day overdue one since....numerous robo calls came for 8 days and they tell me to call them...when I do...I was on hold each time for over 30 minutes....when I do finally get a human to answer she tells me to call back in 30 minutes and then changes that to call back in an hour.  I went online to rectify it....and paid them from my bank acct...so now..they have 2 payments for February and aren;t acknowleging either one.  Now they have been paid twice and they still are making the robo calls...our frustrations were getting out of hand...and the sad part for me...is that I caused the whole thing because I was too busy ignoring the pile of bills.......finally yesterday they said they got both payments...and now march is covered too.....all because I was not taking care of business like I have for the last 51 years.  My first ever overdue bill...and believe me....it didn't go well.  Lesson learned for me...take care of business.  

For months now...I have been out of sorts, I'm not sure exactly what that means...I just know...that I am not being my best me..

I know what I want....and I spend my time fighting against getting it....I guess that is considered self sabotage, OR...am I just unwilling to give up what I want in the moment for the longer gain?????

I watched a new "MY 600 POUND LIFE PROGRAM"  last night, it was about Robert...an over 800 pound man who over time became disabled by his weight and then his addiction to pain killers...........dilaudid specifically..........His mother and his fiancee of 13 years waited on him hand and foot....while being hospitalized he got down to the 500's....( no weight loss surgery, but removal of a huge lymphedema and low cal 1,200 diet)......he wanted pain killers...they refused.....he begged, made up reasons why he needed them...refused to walk......and finally died.....it had an impact on me.....he didn't have a heart attack when he was over 800 pounds...he had it when he was at 500 pounds and wanted his drugs so bad..he lost the will to live....his fiancee who really loved him started getting angry when he became mouthy to her in his desire for the drug he couldn't have...it all fell apart when no ones needs were met...her need was apparently to wait on an invalid who thanked her.......his needs were met when he was laying there helpless and having everyone do EVERYTHING for him....his mothers needs were met by still being a mother that is needed. And finally it all really in the end was about his drug of choice...a prescribed painkiller...that he no longer could get his hands on.

While I am not relying on any drug other than an occassional tylenol......I get it.....it's about what ultimately meets our needs at the moment.  I'm guilty of instant gratification...while wanting something that instant gratification won't get me.......we are all different....yesterday I found out that if a person has breast cancer..than eating asparagus can make it spread...WHAT!!!!

It all makes me wonder if I am just chasing a rainbow................maybe I just need to put all of the what ifs...and should dos aside...and do what I had done for so many years that worked for me....somewhere along the line I got sidetracked and left my own natural insticts behind.....I began to read magazines with diets in them...basically all the same....I began to watch tv programs about health and weight loss.........and while I believe there are many people that thrive doing these things...they aren't me...........I love the support here......you guys are like old friends.......but I need to stop dwelling on food....( it's just me)......somewhere along the way I lost myself.........and I need to find me again.........and I think what I really need to do for myself is to turn off media, put the books away, reassess who I really am and just relax for awhile........I will be back when I find myself again........I'm taking a sabatical and reconnecting with who I really am...and hopefully I will be back a better person. I just didn't want to drop off without an explanation.......I will return.


Progress as of today: 33.2 lbs lost so far, only 77.2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/01/2018:
It is very easy to get overly ambitious on our journeys to our weight/size goals and in the meanwhile be missing out on living and enjoying our daily lives, I know. The scale number or the certain size we want to be takes over our thoughts and we fail to 'smell the roses' or 'smell the coffee' each day. We lose interest in things not connected to our attaining our goals and this is so not healthy for us. We need to live 'balanced' lives. To me, this means always putting God first. It means doing what we can for others, be it our families or friends or neighbors or whoever the 'others' are that God puts in our lives. I believe it also includes ourselves. Because if we don't take good care of ourselves, how can we take good care of others? Yes, take a break but you will be missed. I enjoy reading your journal. Take good care of yourself. Keep smiling. :-) Maria

horn_of_plenty on 03/01/2018:
You'll be missed but even I lately seem to want a break...but i am enjoying the support these days...

But yes, the balanced meals approach always helps with carbs,fat,protein at every meal. that's why i am not a big supporter of very low carb diets! ...and why i'm really enjoying this buffet across the street bc i have a nice amount of carbs to choose from along with variety of veggies and meats EVERY DAY...well, while i'm here at this office...lol

You'll be missed...keep on discovering what works for you...balance is always key.

innerpeace on 03/02/2018:
I hope you find what your are looking for! You will be missed but I totally understand. Good luck on your sabbatical.

Donkey on 03/03/2018:
I miss you already! But I agree, you have to find what works for you. I would encourage you to come back when you're ready. It doesn't have to be all food and menus. Have you noticed that most of my entries are about the emotional and internal struggles I have? LOL...

Maria is 100% about leading a balanced life. Sometimes I can tell when I'm centered and balanced. Or rather -- I can REALLY tell when I'm off-balance!

bearcountrygg on 03/03/2018:
I guess it didn't take long for me to miss you guys!!!!

BearCountryGG - Wednesday Feb 28, 2018
(Non negotiable dieting rather I like it or not)
Weight: 222.2

Up and ice is melting.....and D is going out looking for bob cat tracks today....sadly...our Mama deer was hit by a car in front of our house yesterday...she was such a sweetie...and looked out so well for her 2 youngsters.....( one was especially bonded to her and always wanted to be touching her)...I'm sure they are so confused now...but D says they are definataely old enough to take care of themselves...so that is good .  We are looking forward to seeing the youngsters here soon.....hopefully.  

Nasty reflux last night...so I will need to figure out something about snacking in the evening.....it's always something.

No choice today...I HAVE to go get groceries ( perishables)......I've been home so long I don't even want to go....I can get like this...I honestly think that I could turn into a agoraphobic very easily..................odd how if I go out regularly...it's not a problem...but....cabin fever hasn't set in yet...and I seriously do not want to go.....just call me a hermit....or is that no better than an agoraphoibic.......probably the same thing.



1 fried egg

1 sausage patty




ice cream


toppings for the ice cream...I was like a crazed person...searching...UGH!!!!!

1/2 bottle kombucha

I'm well aware that when I'm spending my day thinking about dieting...that it just makes me want food more....I feel like I'm in some kind of brain loop....that never ends.

I'm thinking it's time for me to stop dwelling on weight loss....been in this frame of mind recently and it feels like an internal battle that will never end........

Maybe I just need to give myself a pass and stop thinking about it.......


salad with skinny girl dressing

2 bites spare rib

another bagel with butter

Not even bothering to count cals today

No food this evening...going to bed hungry...maybe even early....just drinking water.

Progress as of today: 33.2 lbs lost so far, only 77.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/28/2018:
That's so sad about Momma Deer... no words.

I get that way about stepping out too. That's why I need to have something outside of myself to do - daily if possible. Otherwise, the desire to just stay home creeps up until it's a major obstacle to overcome.

bearcountrygg on 02/28/2018:
It was nice to get out...but..I really did not want to go.

horn_of_plenty on 02/28/2018:
yes, sorry to hear about the deer.

i feel same as donkey...if you stop going out, it becomes a problem. same for me.

bearcountrygg on 02/28/2018:
Makes me wonder if I stay home too long....that maybe the next step would be not getting out of bed...that is scary!

horn_of_plenty on 02/28/2018:
yes, that's why you have to keep on....grrrr....lol

Maria7 on 02/28/2018:
Glad that you were able to get out and get your fresh foods. Btw I did go to the store yesterday and got my low-cal, low-fat snacks. Today I'm still at 155, so happy about that. Had I continued eating like I was doing I would have been gaining weight. Sorry to hear about the Mama deer. Sad. Hope the babies are okay. Hope you have a good evening.

bearcountrygg on 02/28/2018:
I'm glad that your bad day didn't affect you weight...that's great news.....and now you have the better things in the house it will be easier.

Donkey on 02/28/2018:
What you said about thinking about dieting/food all day really hit home --- that is EXACTLY the rut I've been in lately. I *feel* like I think about food ALL.THE.TIME. And if it's not food, then I'm thinking about hourly steps (a la FitBit).

So while sometimes I stay in check -- and sometimes I don't, i.e. this past weekend -- thinking about food and being paranoid about step counts is something I do NOT want for myself and for this journey. I promised myself that this time was going to be different and permanent. I owe it to myself to keep this promise.

bearcountrygg on 03/01/2018:
I'm afraid life is passing by and when I die......I will feel like I wasted it worrying/obsessing about something that wasn't worth it.

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