1. I'm refusing to drop calories below 1,200 a day because of the damage it does to the heart muscle.
2. Refuse to give up carbs because I love them and a life without them would not be worth it.
3. I refuse to diet for the rest of my life, that just sounds like drudgery.
4. The more I think about food, and write down what I eat, and focus on what I eat, the more I want to eat.
5. When I don't spend any time at all thinking about food and only eat when I'm hungry and only eat what sounds good at that moment, I'm satisfied, my hunger goes away totally until the next time I feel hunger, usually about 4 to 5 hours later. I think that is using food for fuel.
6. The scale just makes me sad and anxious, my clothes tell me all I need to know. My cravings tell me what to eat.
7. All of the above is how I lived my entire life literally from birth to in my 40's where and when I was always thin and active. When a major stress appeared in my mid 40's everything changed and I started eating my feelings........after that, food became a coping mechanism and then a very bad habit.....today....dieting is really my only stress.......and to eliminate that dieting stress, I need to stop dieting.
8. Today I am 100% accepting that dieting is not my friend, that eating only when hungry and eating only cravings will be a better path for me...a path that I know well and have had great success with. If I'm supposed to lose more it will happen naturally and if that does happen my clothes will let me know.
9. I probably won't post my own diaries because I want to take all pressure to diet off of myself ...but I will continue to read about all of your journeys and comment.......
10. It's been a long time coming and was my lifestyle for the first 46 or so years of my life and it worked. For the last 24 years...it's been a struggle ...scales going up...scales going down, yoyoing has been my life over that time period. If what I have been doing worked...it wouldn't have been such a struggle.....so going back to what worked is what appears to be my answer.
11. I'm not going anywhere, I will still be reading your posts and enjoying the comraderie around here...you guys are great.
Had trouble getting into DD this morning...I was getting a security warning,,,That along with the logging trucks that have once again appeared to basically cut down the state forrest around us...are affecting the under the road wires...so wifi is sketchy.
When I can...I have been watching a you tube channel called BE INSPIRED....it's powerful. Many videos by many different people that cut to the chase and bring everything in life down to just the basics.......it is so simple and makes so much sense.
After not feeling well for a couple of days and then having a carb filled day because I was craving them and realizing that I felt better that day carbs and all........spoke to me. Eating my cravings just works for me and it occurred to me that eating my cravings does not mean large quantities, it might just mean 1 or 2 bites.....or only until I'm satisfied or no longer look forward to the next bite.
Getting dressed this morning made me realize that I'm quite happy with my weight right now.....it's not perfect for my height....but it is not a bad place to be. I think I will just continue with cravings led eating and control the quantities ( food as fuel).
This morning we got a weather warning for the next few days.....snow...apparently lots of it.
With the internet issues I don't know when i will be able to get back online......when I get cut off I lose everything I'm typing here...and that is super frustrating. I can read on my phone using the verion internet but posting is rlly hard with that.
Anyway...this morning I was craving meat and cereal....weird combo but I'm satisfied and have no desire to eat anything else.....small servings of cravings are what I will be doing.
I'm hearing a loud truck coming...so better get off and post this before I lose it.
Back on track and feeling a lot better today........
Yesterday I didn't count calories or WW points.....but today I did count the points.....it was the obvious ( to me) old bad habit of having a free day/pity party/grain,fat,sugar day.....I was just going to ignore it and move on....but today...after counting up the WW points...it was ridiculous..I did not count calories but I'm sure they were HUGE!!! I also realized this morning that while I had intended to take vitamins daily...I have been forgetting.
Full confession of what yesterdays food looked like...and is so typical of what I fall back on if I am not staying on top of things........1 cup black coffee, 2 bottled coffee drinks one starbucks and one from the dollar store...LOL...1 pkg of 2 pop tarts, 2 slices of raisin bread toasted with butter, 2 slices of oatmeal honey bread toasted with butter and peanut butter, 1 cliff bar and 2 starburst candies, 2 tiny mini pks of red licorice and 1 tiny pk of sour patch kids, 1 tiny pkg of gummy bears, starbucks reg caramel in coffee.....WW points = 78
1 thomas light multigrain english muffin toasted , spray butter, walden farms grape spread, 2 clementines, Two Good vanilla yogurt,1 cup black coffee....= 250 cals and 5 WW points
Lunch was beef brisket, green beans and potatoes....14 WW points
meal 3 = protein bar, cheese/crackers, 2 whole wheat cookies
BearCountryGG - Wednesday Oct 02, 2019
Well....after a rainy night of muscle cramp agony......I just want to sleep and just exist. Rings went from tight to loose randomly all night. I was ready to start taking bets on rather the next cramp was going to be calf or thigh...right leg or left........got up to drink water and woke D and the cat up accidentally...both welcomed me and wanted to party!!!....NO...NO PARTY!!!...both were in pleasant moods and wanted to help....well at least D wanted to help...Sampson just wanted to snuggle...NO......The more I try to control the more things go wrong. Bladder infection is improving nicely....but I swear...apple cider vinegar hates me........ ears are itching...always an allergic reaction...I really don't know rather to itch my ears or work the muscle cramps out first........Today I just want to exist.....nothing more...nothing less. Today...no counting anything....and no apple cider vinegar....I never did like pickled things for a reason I guess.
BearCountryGG - Tuesday Oct 01, 2019
Full of energy today but I think I have a bladder infection.....so D suggested apple cider vinegar in water...and it sounds like it might work...since it has antibacterial properties......so drinking that.....although downside to that is lowering glucose....but...so far so good......Not hungry and holding off on meal #1 until necessary.
coffee and water with apple cider vinegar......0 points, 0 cals
Vinegar seems to be working........so to counteract the lower glucose from it...I went ahead and ate breakfast with some sugar in it....feeling good and will have to stay around the house today anyway because a ton of dog food will be delivered today by a freight company.....has to be picked up at the road with the tractor...so we are stuck here.
Meal #1 skyr icelandic strawberry yogurt and 2 cuties = 190 calories and 4 points
chili, strawberries, spindrift = 581 cals and 14 WW points
Calories so far = 771 WW points = 14
Definately need to get at least 1,200 cals today and between 7 and 10 more points.
Meal # 3....was using up some fridge things...starving for some reason and I didn't care what I ate...I was just going to eat....burned the toast, a whole lot of peas...a dab of mac and cheese and the 2 leftover little spare ribs
730 cals and 12 WW points
That may win the prize for an ugly dish club! The peas were taking over!
So no more eating for me tonight....just zero beverages,......still drinking the vinegar water and no low sugar affects from it possibly because I had fruit and the cinnamon raisin toast to add some sugars......
Calories for the day = 1,501 and WW points were 26
BearCountryGG - Monday Sep 30, 2019
Started this morning with a cup of coffee....and putting off breakfast as long as I can.
I spent yesterday planning a diet routine that I believe will work for me. I took a bit here and there from several diet plans and left out the parts that often throw me off track.
I know that the earlier I start eating each day...the hungrier I am all day and the more calories I take in, so to combat that I will eat breakfast later and only when I am very hungry.
I plan to photograph all foods I eat and the time of day I eat them. Coffee, tea and any zero cal beverages probably will not be photographed unless they are used as part of a meal. I will post pics here.
I know that I like to use up whatever is in the fridge or last bits of food in packages in cupboards, so instead of worrying about what is appropriate to eat at certain times or what makes a nice picture....I will just use this desire to use things up , photograph it and post it . Many meals will be odd and funny looking....so be it.
There is no bad food....any and all food, healthy or not can be eaten.
WW points and or calories will be used as a way to control intake. I usually eat between 1,200 and 1,500 on my own anyway....but I want to make sure I'm sticking to the lower end for weight loss. It appears that 1,500 calories actually cause a gain or at least maintenance. I want to make sure to get in at least 1,200 a day though.
There may be liquid fast days, intermittant fasting days, Intuitive eating days, as well as one meal a day type days.....but mainly it will be just random foods/meals using what is on hand. The days foods may not be well balanced as far as nutrition goes so the aim will be to balance things out nutrition wise over several days...which just seems to happen with me anyway since cravings happen regularly for me with intuitive eating. I will also be taking vitamins daily.
I will be exercising randomly....when I set a schedule I fight it...so I will just exercise when the mood strikes me...
I will be drinking a lot of water and zero calories beverages.
I will be reading daily from numerous books that will give me new ideas and motivation. Louise Hays book titled Heal Your Body will live on my desk permanently. It is a perfect reference book for me. It really hs nothing to do with weight loss but eveything to do with how we think and what affect it has on our health problems...and gives affirmations to repeat to ourselves to combat the affect.
I have rejoined WW because it has worked very well for me in the past...I have had times where I swore I would never join again....and times where it has had a huge influence on my weight losses......this time I am in the right frame of mind to use it to the max.....I need to be able to accept the fact that it is a lifestyle...not just a means to lose and then leave what I learned behind.
Today I start reading Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays, MD
1st meal of day 11.50 A.M.
salami , cheese, horsersdish sauce on a whole wheat roll and 2 cuties = 680 cals and 23 Ww points
2nd meal of the day 4:30 P.M.
Quaker Instant pumpkin spice oatmeal, a banana , strawberries and spindrift
This morning I had last nights dinner and day befores dinner leftovers...and it reminded me how much I love dinner for breakfast...LOL...people talk about breakfast for dinner...but rarely the other way around. So todays breakfast was BBQ pulled pork, scalloped potatoes, rice a roni and corn..and coffee..I'm full and happy and didn't count anything.....tomorrow I plan to clean our the fridge....I know there are things hiding in there that need to go...so that is on the list for monday....other things going on today.
I cleared off my kitchen counters...clutter had taken over...small appliances were taking up space and gathering dust and worse..........this kitchen is small...and I have spent the last 4 yearss bemoaning that fact......I came from a place where the kitchen was enourmous and I loved it......here...I have been super guilty of whining...and complaining about this one.....and because of the lack of storage space.....just used the counter..to store things...which ultimately took up my working space......it played a mind game with me that just made me hate it more...........finally....I've cleared the counters of most of the clutter...and I'm am beginnng to enjoy this kitchen.......of course it is still small....but it is a lot more fun to work in now.............If I could just get out of my own way.....I swear......things could work better for me...........
I was never a rebel...I loved rules...they were my guidelines...and somewhere along the way I became a rebel.......I didn't want to follow rules ( of couse I follow LAWS..that is different) but I didn't want anyone or any diet program to tell me what to do..........those were optional.....I was a free spirit....i follow my own drummer......but what if I throw convention out the window...? What if I create my own plan...what if I build a program for myself that incorporates parts of other progrms, contains quirky things about myself that make it easier for me to follow......what if I make a diet program from all the components and take what I know what works for me...and discard what doesn't......? I've done this before but always fell back into feeling like I was messing with a national program (WW and FitDay)...and then rebelled against them and quit....( yet I had lost a lot of weight on them when I was following them)...classic case of cutting off my nose to spite my face!!!! UGH
I had kind of pushed all of my diet materials and books aside...but I think I will take today...to make up a custom weight loss program for myself with the materials I have here........my weight loss lately has stalled...and I want to kick start it again......I can see that some intense work needs to be done...so i will cherry pick a new multi faceted program for myself......today.....and get started on it tomorrow morning..........it will be different...it will suit my needs and will be personalized to keep my interest.......if it works....then all the better...if not...it can be changed a bit. So...devoting all day today to making up my new personalized program......need to dig out the books, videos, CD's and anything else I can find......
While digging out diet related books...I ran across my old copy of Louise L. Hay's book titled HEAL YOUR BODY....the book itself is amazing...basically has nothing or little to do with weight...but has everything to do with how we think and how our thoughts make us sick......I have always found it to be spot on for our family.....I see myself totally in every ailment i have ever had and my thought process that very well could have caused the ailment.....my book has been read so many times it's falling apart.....i will again leave it out......it names an illness, condition or ailment...gives the thought process that created the ailment...and then gives a sentence or two of an affirmation to change the way we think........life changing.
Dark and dreary ouside today.....D running hardware store and auto parts store errands......and I'm doing paperwork.......and laundry.
WE have decided to make more of an effort to budget better and cut expenses........and use what we have instead of being lazy and just ordering or picking up more instead of using what is already here....today he repairs the trucks tail light instead of taking it to the mechanic......and that's a good thing.....it will also make me a lot more aware of what i bring into the house....and it will cut the junk food for sure....we still have a lot of it here to use up...but that is already said and done.....when it's gone...we will not replace much of it or at least make better choices. Making up a budget is always fun for me...i love the challenge....but we have not been budgeting these last 4 years........not good.
Breakfast for me was a slice of leftover pizza and coffee
snack = 2 cookies and a can of spindrift.
The main meal was a bunch of leftovers......pork, rice a roni, corn, scalloped potatoes, roll and blueberries....working on using things up so I can really clean out the fridge in a couple of days.
Well...interesting start to the morning...Sampson tipped one of his litter boxes over......and it's a large box.......muscleman tactics.......and now I have to go clean that up!
It seems like I'm staying in this size clothing too long without any change....so today I will check myself with cals and points.............measuring cups and food scales.......it's too easy for portions to creep up......I did go on a few sites last night that assesses how many calories are needed for wt loss...and all said 1,200........and one said 900.....now that scares me...under 1,200 was always alert time.....I've always heard that heart muscle is compromised below 1,200...so I'm not interested in doing that for more than 1 day.....there is just such a fine line between healthy and destructive here....so today I count.
Coffee with zero caramel = 1 cal and 0 ww points
Friendly Farms yogurt = 140 cals and 5 ww points
pulled pork on a roll, corn, spanish rice, cookies
donuts ( 3 tiny)
calories are in line with the 1,200.........I guess as Maria says...we are wondering if the sweets we eat are stalling our losses even though we eat low cal. i know i could never eat low carb or keto because those lower blood sugar and my sugar tends to be so low already.......when I don't eat sugar I drop on a daily basis and need sugar to being it up.....I've tried to raise it by eating protein but that doesn't work when i do that.....I'm not going to drop my cals any lower....and I'm wondering if this is just where my body wants to be..........
Been out running so many errands lately preparing for winter...and I look forward to staying home today........I have no idea why the dining room table becomes the place where everything seems to land....but it does...It's happened in every house/apt we have ever lived in...maybe because it is a large flat surface just asking for clutter........but today......everything will be put where it belongs and the table will be cleared...I think I will just continue with that and give the kitchen and dining room a good cleaning and reorganizing.....this place is only a fraction of the size of our last house and I admit that I have never fully embraced it's "compact" size......also...adjusting to cooking in smaller quantities....something i never fully got a grasp on.......cooking for 8 was a joy for me......3 times a day.....even though there has only been 2 of us for a very long time....I still tend to cook in quantity...as well as shop in quantity....apparently I don't adjust very well....habits are so hard for me to break........
For the last few days I have been craving spicy sandwiches...( salami and hoseradish sauce)......and that is what I had for breakfast today plus 2 tiny cookies and coffee with zero caramel.....that should hold me for many hours.,..it always does....I ill admit...it opens my sinuses...maybe that is why I've been craving it....horseradish sauce is amazing.