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BearCountryGG - Sunday Aug 04, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Well...yesterday was nuts.....I won't go into it...but believe me......the neighborhood had a few good laughs...scares and out and out craziness........it would take me days to explain.......but...no pics yesterday...and taking the day off from counting anything..just eating what I want.  Have been getting some  cleaning done.....and I found something that kind of makes me happy..............if you didn't know I love planning meals, making the list...shopping ( online or in person).....don't  like hauling it in and putting it away though...LOL.........but.....while I am working on using up what is already here...I'm missing my shopping trips...I found GROCERY HAULS on YOU TUBE......what fun.....I can watch a couple of those and actually get past the desire to  shop...LOL

So.....today is a major master bd rm cleaning........and a little time doing some paperwork..........and maybe another grocery haul fix...LOL...it is beautiful out there....maybe dinner out on the deck today.  D kept smelling chocolate cake yesterday...nope...none here ( maybe a boxed mix though)...maybe it was a subtle hint from a diabetic?  Not taking that bait right now.........he doesn't need the sugar and neither do I.....if he wants cake bad enough he can go to the store and buy one.........me...I'm not shopping right now.

 

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/05/2019:
i found something on amazon, a keto brownie mix!

i have ordered it for my next delivery at the end of this month with my subscriptions:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07NVXQ2KT/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

BearCountryGG on 08/05/2019:
I will check those out...thanks for the heads up!


Horn_of_plenty on 08/06/2019:
very welcome, i can't wait to make them, after i get them end of this month.



BearCountryGG - Friday Aug 02, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Oh my gosh....my husband has a problem...he gets hooked  on a specific food...and then suddenly stops eating it........I'm kind of dreading the freezer clean out for that reason....hmmmmm...maybe it's me that has the problem...I SHOULD NOT stock up on his favorites like that.....yup...it's me.....lesson learned!

Day 2 of using up up what we have around here.........the good the bad , the ugly and the mystery packages.

I keep reminding myself that there are no banned foods on WW so I can do this........

He had a toaster strudel addiction going on there for a while back in the spring......and I found the stash......had 2 for breakfast...then counted them......OH MY GOSH!!!

Anyway......walking through this one meal at a time...I can do this......they are tasty...but high cal and points...wish i had eaten only one....but that's done.....

2 cups black coffee = 0 points and 8 cals

2 apple toaster strudels 15 points and 720 cals

2/3 cup plain non fat yogurt ( I got the wrong one...thought it was greek) = 3 points and 90 cals

That turned into a high points meal...........but....serves me right.........I'm committed to using stuff up......but this was a wake up call.

Loggers all over and the wifi is sketchy.....off and on all the time...

aside from coffee, toaster strudels, yogurt, i also had chicken, rye bread, butter, peanut biutter, 2 mini bags of cookies and tea....crackers

One thing I've noticed is that yesterday was full of fruit and veg and protein...today...carbs......need to get a hold on that.

 

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/02/2019:
but like you said, you can just have one, save the other for later or for the next day! :)

that's exactly what i do about most high cal food - i try to shrink the portion, when possible, sometimes i do indulge too! :)

good addition of yogurt with it!

and coffee !

coffee at work helps me to feel full after my breakfasts since i do not eat oatmeal for breakfast at work because it messes with my digestion / bathroom issues at work.

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2019:
Yup...should have just stuck to one....I should have looked up the stats first.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/02/2019:
you know for next time :) i am very sure you have more haha ;)

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2019:
There are more in the freezer...LOL


Maria7 on 08/02/2019:
Glad you are having a good day...Nice food photos, too!

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2019:
Hopefully tomorrow works better


Donkey on 08/03/2019:
The same thing happened with my kids. They would love something, and then stop. Left with many unfinished boxes of Pop Tarts, Kraft Mac n Cheese, chicken nuggets, etc.

BearCountryGG on 08/05/2019:
Yeah....now I have to clean up the dregs of the pkgs...LOL



BearCountryGG - Thursday Aug 01, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

WiFi is on this morning........and I'm committed to using it when and where possible...our new norm...and just rolling with it.....funny how things can seem normal after coping with them for awhile......that's life. 

Recently I committed myself to using up everything in the house......foods, tolietries, cleaning supplies......etc........and I'm finding myself having to get creative...and I'm enjoying it........I'm still making nice meals where possible for D...no need to make him miserable....and because I just seem to be afflicted with this need to use things up.......then that is what I just need to do.  Why fight it?  It's a money saver, a great use of resources and I enjoy it....so I'm no longer going to beat myself up over it....I will just fly with it and have a good old time. My parents grew up in the depression and since I spent my childhood always making use of everything available...it's just in my DNA I guess......so........today...and for as long as I can get online...or until I burn out on photos.....I plan to snap pics of what i'm eating for the day....some meals will look normal ( for me)....some will contain mystery meats...LOL....some will just be flat out ugly and weird.........but I will be counting WW points and or calories...or a combo of the two......I'm committed to using up and clearing out....and attempting to teach myself mainly that overcooking quantities is not always a good thing.....and it sure makes a lot of tiny packages of mystery food in the freezer......and because D has a penchant for leaving tiny bits in packages...there is that........I will work it out...whatever.......it is actually fun for me to get this done....most likely it will be a comedy of errors......and weird meals......and life goes on..........with vitamins and supplements added to pick up the slack........I'm looking forward to empty freezers, and cabinets and pantry closet.........onward and downward.

Breakfast consisted of 2 things that need to just go........the apple was getting shrively...and if I don't start using them then i will have to toss them.....don't need to carelessly waste money and resources that way.....and a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich...that I bought accidentally.....( should have gotten the lower cal turkey one...but NOPE...not me...grabbed the worst possible choice in the freezer case)...sigh......so now...even though they are twice the WW points...I will just have to bite the bullet and eat them.

2  cups black coffee = 0 points and 8 cals

1 large glass of Twinings berry iced tea = 0 cals and 0 points

Jimmy Dean cheddar biscuit, sausage, egg, cheese breakfast sandwich at a whopping 14 points and 390 cals

1 shriveled apple = 0 points and 94 cals

Lunch was a tiny amt of penne pasta with a tiny amt of ground beef and tomatoes...i mixed in a whole jar of roasted red peppers so the points were 7 and the cals were 322

homemade coleslaw was 3 points and 97 cals

apple = 0 points and 94 cals

pear = 0 points and 96 cals

----------------------------------------------------

so far I've used 24 points and 1,101 cals

Dinner was.............

a cup of chicken broth 0 points and 10 cals

light mozzarella stick = 1 point and 50 cals

fiber ole tortilla wrap = 1 point and 50 cals

deli sliced chicken breast = 0 points and 60 cals

brown mustard = 0 points and 15 cals

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Done eating for the day...still drinking that tea from this morning....points for the day = 27........calories = 1,286

 

 

 

Horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2019:
just like you, i've been eager to use things up too. Sometimes i also take a count or record of what i have so i can plan to stop deliveries or orders. I am starting to have a lot of food building up in my freezer (veggies) so i may skip a delivery of veggies so i don't have to cook them on a busier upcoming weekend and just eat what's in my freezer that week! :)it would def save some cash...

i hope you'll share some photos with us! I'll try not to make fun of anything weird ;)

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
The thrifty part of me says "save it"...the other part of me says...okay...now that you bothered to save it...now you have to use it...LOL...it is a money saver...but it is so much more fun to just go buy something else.....I'm committed....stuff just has to be used up.....I also am going to just stop the shopping until it's gone.....and fresh produce b=can be the worst....it's so prone to spoilage.....a nice veggie soup can make good use of thise things....I need to keep reminding myself of that! And by the way...ot's okay to laugh...I will be lauging right along with you...I truly can make fun of myself better than anyone...LOL


Donkey on 08/01/2019:
I've discovered that squirrels and rabbits love fruit that nobody here will eat -- especially grapes and ales like you described (although I will eat wrinkled fruit, too).

I bet breakfast holds you for a while.

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
We do toss out old fruit in the spring when bear are in hibernation....right now...they would be knocking on the windows asking for more...LOL I hope breakfast holds me...I really ate early....

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
My comment above should have said in the WINTER we throw out old fruits...mostly apples.....


Maria7 on 08/01/2019:
I love you photos. Thanks for sharing them with us. Your breakfast looks very good. Mine was 3 cups of decaf lite coffees and a chicken salad sandwich.

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
Your breakfast sounds better!!!!

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
Your breakfast sounds better!!!!


legcramps on 08/01/2019:
Yes! The little bits in the freezer! I have so many little packages in there and I have no idea what's in them anymore. Chances are they are a little freezer-burned too.

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
Yup...I hear ya! I will have to evaluate mine as I go along......but if they are edible...I will use them...I see a lot of mystery meals in my immediate future...LOL


Horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2019:
i also wanted to mention you got me craving a breakfast biscuit.

i'd like to make my own, lower sugar version to bring to work :)

gonna find a recipe amongst a few other dessert items i will be making at some point!

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2019:
These were really high cal/pts...will be glad when they are gone...homemade would be better.


Horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2019:
all your meals look FANTASTIC ! every single bite!!!!!!!!!

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2019:
Thanks...had a good day!


Horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2019:
one last thing - cup of chicken broth - what a GREAT idea.

in the wintertime, i'm going to start doing that i think with lunches at work!!!!

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2019:
Was a different way to use up a carton...still a little left for today!



BearCountryGG - Wednesday Jul 31, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Caught the wifi on so I thought I would take advantage of it...........georgous day here....all is well....D was diagnosed with  a kidney stone...I told him he should just let me diagnose him in the future...LOL...all those doctors for basically nothing...1 more test yet for him...but not until september. 

I need to get out and sprinkle some perennial seeds around today....I love it when random flowers pop up in these woods.........such a sight....and oddly they do change from year to year...I don't know how that happens but it does. 

Really working on using up what we have on hand here........but it's getting there....then will decide rather to restock for a yr or just shop possibly monthly...with a few random produce purchases as needed....but for now.....what is here needs to get used.....

Feeling great.......getting lots done.......still finding things to donate...I LOVE THAT!!! 

 

legcramps on 07/31/2019:
Good idea to use up what you have before deciding what to get; I should do that too. I have some food items that have been pushed to the back of my pantry!

BearCountryGG on 07/31/2019:
Me too........it's easy to forgrt stuff when it's buried in a cupboard......I've had to get creative...LOL


Horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2019:
Sounds like some lovely days for you.

I'm glad it wasn't only a stone for D. I hear they are horrible. My dad had one a year or two ago which landed him in the hospital with horrible pain too.

Regardnig produce, i've been eating a lot more fruit since it's in season and a good price and just tastes great. i've been eating at least 2 serving a day, sometimes more. It's enjoyable for me to eat fruit in the evening at home and relax with it. not rush eating it and just enjoy it all...

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2019:
They will be doing a bladder scope in September...and then hopefully that will be negative.....we think it all happened because he was drinking apple cider vinegar and it broke up stones......they told him to drink lemon juice instead.....



BearCountryGG - Thursday Jul 25, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Okay...funny story time.....yesterday...the porch stalker guy prompted D to go to the drug store and pick up SD cards for the trail cams...and a pepper spray.......a neighbor lady waited on him in the store....he mentioned that we had a scary guy.....D thought he recognised the cashier as a neighbor from about a mile down the rd.......in their chatting...she mentioned that she also keeps pepper spray for all of the girls in her family and herself............this morning...she mention our porch guy to her husband.....and he said it was him...both days....LOL......her husband has been very sick and while I hadn't actually seen him for a couple of years.......he has deteriorated a lot and looks very different.....so....emergency averted...and what a relief........anyway...she stopped in here this morning to let us know it was her husband...   I do believe that what happens is what is supposed to happen for some reason....what made D go to that store for sd cards and pepper spray......at just the time that she was working...( we didn't know she worked there)...and what made him recognise her when they had never actually met but he had seen heer in their yard. 

This all makes me realize that things are probably set up in a way that we get our answers...maybe not the way we expected to get them....but that we are led to those answers..........and it is reassuring to me.......I needed to be a bit more cautious.......I should have been carrying pepper spray anyway ( like back in the 80's).......I met the neighbor lady..........her husband  came back today and D and him had a good laugh...they are very nice people...he is very sick and looks totally different now........and I can breathe again..........LOL

I decided to count Ww points today.........started with coffee and 0% yogurt at no points at all..........drinking lots of water......

Horn_of_plenty on 07/26/2019:
what a coincidence lol...glad it's figured out and everyone is safe!

BearCountryGG on 07/26/2019:
Such a relief!


Donkey on 07/26/2019:
That is a funny ending to a scary story! I'm glad it turned out to be ok and bit something more sinister.

I'd continue with taking those safety precautions, though. Unfortunately, can't be too careful these days.

How did WW points go?

BearCountryGG on 07/26/2019:
Points went great....wifi is quite an issue but living with it....it just seems like I'm in the range when I actively count them and not...so was well.........I am going to be more careful now...it did wake me up to seeing how easy bad stuff can happen.


Maria7 on 07/31/2019:
Hoping you are having a good day!



BearCountryGG - Wednesday Jul 24, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

After a day of rain and lots of thunder ( and other things).....today is bright and sunny....and loving that.  I solved the issue about personal protection (without a gun for me)...Apparently D had kept the voice mail to him when i was so scared of that guy here the other day...stomping around the porch and looking in the windows)....and apparently he listened to it several times....while he was outside.......the terror in my voice was so obvious....and he came inside and told me that I needed to order some pepper spray....for each entry door, the car and my purse....he was visably upset about how it upset me.....he does worry when I'm here alone sometimes.......placed that order this morning.......i will say back in the day when I sold real estate....I always had a bottle of pepper spray on my keychain...but that is long gone.......almost needed to use that a couple of times......but that's another story ...LOL...wasn't funny then though. 

I ordered some meal prep containers that should arrive tomorrow...to help control serving sizes........I have such a need to use things up....and that can so easily lead to eating more of something than i really need, should eat or even want........instead of just going with the flow on using things up....I'm looking for ways to control the problem...because that use up mentality is so deeply ingrained in me....just stopping it cold turkey is not effective.......all of the other little annoying things that it seems I can not just STOP on my own are becoming a different type of challenge for me.......just stopping something without putting something else in it's place is just never going to work.....so finding replacements has turned ito a fun challenge...and it's working...........and i think the prep containers will make it even more fun and easy..........I'm also going to get some of the very small snack bags/containers for serving sized portions of little things like nuts....or even candy..........i will add the points and calories to those too.........also considering a rewards chart....used to work for kids...LOL

 

EDIT...same guy standing on my front porch again.....skinny...truck running....this time he barely knocked...looked out another window...and he was actually leaning against the front porch railing watching TV throiugh the window...D got home about 10 minutes later...luckily I got a pic of the truck this time....D is out driving around looking for him......this guy barely weighs 100 pounds....I'm still shaking.....we figure he must be looking for D....but he doesn't recognise the truck..........I'm still locked in here......

D couldn't find him....so went to the store and bought the little card for a trail cam and a pepper spray....and I got my dads old billy club out.......( he used  to be in the mounted division of the sheriffs posse).......................UUUUGGGHHHH!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/24/2019:
ok, great idea for the pepper spray :)

I also have major portion control issues. that's the reason i rely so heavily on at least having one large meal each day that has veggies. helps me at work get back to work and not snack all afternoon. my large veggie meal cuts my cravings a bit.

Wow...i am sorry that guy came back. he does sound like a thief?

BearCountryGG on 07/24/2019:
I don't know.....D has now put up 2 trail cams....one on front porch...and one on the driveway......2 only possibilities have been cleared....D doesn't recognise truck.....or description of the guy.......unfortunately the pics of the guy did not turn out...but the truck did.....just scary.


Donkey on 07/24/2019:
The containers are a really good idea! Also, if you can do it, I think the online grocery shopping with Walmart will help you a lot.

That is so scary about your porch visitors. Pepper spray at each door, and more, is a very good idea!

BearCountryGG on 07/25/2019:
I think it will all be a new and different thing that will peak my interst a little more...sure can't hurt......porch guy was a neighbor....a very sickly neigbor that has really changed....and we are so relieved to have an answer.



BearCountryGG - Tuesday Jul 23, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Yeah....finally caught the computer with the wifi on......lucky me......it's been a battle............the logging trucks continue to rattle through here all day...plus we have a new added adventure going on....we are about a half hour from the Grayling military base.....and over the last few days...Michigan has taken to training military from all over the world here...so for the last few days....its tandem logging trucks racing by and helicopters overhead..(love the military anyway...logging trucks not so much)......somehow I feel like I am living in some alternate universe!!!!!  Add to that.... just a little sporadic wifi.............BUT...I'm excited.....the nearest walmart is getting grocery pick up on August 2nd.....I've been waiint for that......it will make it a lot easier to resist trying new goodies for sure......and since they are 45 minutes away...it will still be 1 and a half hours round trip.......it will save an hour or two....and a lot less impulse buying.  I was in our little towns crummy grocery store this morning...and ran into a neighbor.......I was kind of relieved to hear that she dislikes this store as much as I do.........just goes along with  what I've been thinking.  Got kind of scared yesterday while D was gone....some guy in a noisy van pulled into the driveway...stomped up on the porch....made some noise..( weird erratic knocking or stomping his feet ????).......literally saw him peeking into the window ( from another window).....heard him say "no ones home".......and thankfully he left.....I quickly called D...and left a message...he did call me right back...and I listened to the message I left on his phone later when he got home...and I sounded like I was scared to death....well yeah...I was.....D did get pics of his tire marks.....I really hate when this happens........it could have just been the wrong house.......but at the last house...I had 2 VERY scary encounters with strangers in the yard /driveway front door....that were not accidents......they just thought no one was at home....when I let them know I was....they both got out of there fast........running for their cars and throwing gravel with their tires........UGH.  Maybe I should have my own gun.....but I really don't want one......

Anyway........haven't fallen off the earth yet....I read here when I can........why do they keep coming out with new high cal foods....???   No need to answer that!!!!  I am awating the grocery pick up at walmart so that I never even see that stuff........!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/23/2019:
hopefully it is just some innocent mistake this time at your house. i'm sure i'd be pretty scared too. luckily it seems you are over that incident!

that's awesome you will have a new way to order groceries and get what you want as well as a closer drive.

also, that's pretty darn coincidental with the logging trucks combined with helicopters. must be a BIG RACKET...quite the opposite of country living i am sure!

BearCountryGG on 07/23/2019:
Yes....we have lived in the middle of a really big city...and it was quieter than this...LOL


innerpeace on 07/24/2019:
That would be scary to me as well. I watch too much Dateline and 48 hours and I would be freaking out!

BearCountryGG on 07/24/2019:
He came back a few minutes ago......freaking out here.



BearCountryGG - Monday Jul 15, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Internet is on...so taking advantge of it now.......sat down and wrote cks for bills and got a card ready for a 92 year old aunt.......stopping at the bank with a 48 cent....48 cent...yup...a check for 48 cents....LOL......I will be sooo happy to get rid of that thing...just what were they thinking????  It is for a dividend from some off shoot stock by G.E.,...........that thing cost more to process and mail than it was worth......crazy!!!!

A quick grocery stop......and post office...and then home......cleaned out 2 litter boxes.. that is always fun!!! Threw a load in the washer....and I am on my way........just coffee...will figure out my breakfast when I get back if I'm hungry.

One son called while I was grocery shopping...letting me know that a big storm was heading our way...........got home before it started.........ate a late breakfast and then a late lunch.....he called  again later and we chatted for about an hour......more storming to come...I love a good loud storm......rain on a metal roof is especially neat.

 

innerpeace on 07/15/2019:
I did bills today this morning, but I paid mine all online, funny how one click of a mouse and your banking account is depleted.

BearCountryGG on 07/15/2019:
LOL...so true...but at least it was there when it needed to be!!!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/16/2019:
LOL a 48 cent check!? what are we, in the 1900's again!? haha

Happy bday to your Aunt :)

I cleaned my hamster's cage last night....AND FORGOT to add the VINEGAR into the water!!!! so, we'll see how long it smells clean since i only cleaned the cage with WATER ! i was rushing, as you can see! i didn't realize till i had finished...when i realized that nothing smelled of vinegar and ...oh! ...it's because i didn't use it! hahaha

i'm glad you got to catch up with your son, sweet :)


Donkey on 07/17/2019:
It's good to hear from the kids, isn't it?



BearCountryGG - Sunday Jul 14, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Looks like a nice day out......our wifi is still off and on.....it seems to be catch as catch can.........all is going well, and getting a lot done........more and more I'm noricing that small servings are working best....it's was hard at first to cut the serving sizes but I really do notice that I feel so much better.....I'm convinced...that the McDonalds supersizing started something that got so out of hand that I actually forgot what a normal serving size was.....restaurants servings are also huge........for me...there is truly no reason at all to feel like sitting down and vegging  is the only way to end a meal 3 times a day...........staying in the comfort zone of not full and not hungry is a lot more like living...............

Well ...better get off here before I get bumped off the internet again and lose this.......will be back when I can.

Maria7 on 07/14/2019:
Glad you are having a good day and I agree about the supersized servings...was not like that when we were coming up. Also, I responded to your comment from yesterday below...

BearCountryGG on 07/14/2019:
Very true.....I had no weight problems until the serving sizes changed.....I guess it was easy to fall into that trap....


Horn_of_plenty on 07/14/2019:
I agree about the meals 3x a day...i have no desire to ever eat full portions of restuarant size and servings/portions of typical meals 3x a day for breakfast/lunch/dinner. i'd def be sleeping all day bc of a food coma! LOL

enjoy your day getting things done :) My afternoon from noon till 3pm was like that...now a little veg time. ;)

BearCountryGG on 07/14/2019:
I just really realized that I just feel better with less food...more just bogs me down...I knew how I wa feeling....but I was forgetting inbetween meals...that I need to cut back on heavier foods...LOL....foodies...and their ( my)...memories...LOL


Donkey on 07/14/2019:
Portion control = 100% my problem.

We've talked about this before on DD. I think it was InnerPeace who mentioned something about eating the whole (muffin? cupcake?) in one of her entries.

When I had a food scale, I was just amazed at how much I was misjudging my portions.

Hope your WiFi situation improves -- at least it's good that you have it some of the time. It could be worse -- out ALL the time!

BearCountryGG on 07/14/2019:
I think we have been braiwashed to think more food is acceptable.......it does make it easier for companies to serve and charge more.....no wonder we struggle sometimes....I remember my sister in laws amazw=ement when they put her on a diabetic diet and she found out what a serving of pasta was......she was shocked. The wifi is a real bummer right now...it has been out today again.......



BearCountryGG - Friday Jul 12, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

YAYYYYY...WIFI is working this morning.......internet on phones mainly can make us a bit crazy around here......happy to have the phones verizon internet to fall back on....but there is just nothing like the computer and it's WIFI....and my phone just does not work well with DD for some reason...........so..........I have had plenty of time to do other things...LOL...like THINK!!!  LOL...LOL...LOL....I had a little  talk wiith myself and I am such a good listener!!! .....................................and while I have heard things for many years....like...walk the walk...don't talk the talk...or the other way around....and behave your way to success.......and quit thinking about it and just do it and get it over with!  If you want to get something done ask a busy person because they will make time for it.....an idle/lazy/unmotivated person will just find reasons why not to do it and so on and so forth....and I acknowleged to myself that I am a vascillator ( is that a word?)....I can spend all of the time in the world putting things off.....almost anything that I do not absolutely love to do!

I once had a job that I loved so much that I actually forgot that they were going to pay me to work there............and I was often quite surprised to find the paychecks at the time clock.......now that is living!!!!....Working at a job that is a joy...so much so that you would do it for free!!!!  I have also found unlimited wonderful joy in being a wife ( since the age of 16).....a mother to 2 before I turned 20...and a foster mother to 8 infants and toddlers ...often with three in diapers and bottles at the same time......I was made for those things...they came easily to me and I loved almost every moment of those.........BUT......I really NEVER put that kind of effort into myself.....taking care of a husband, children, foster children that had fetal alcohol syndrome and were born to drug addicted parents and mentally ill parents....caring for my parents for 7 years in their 80's.....was what I did......BUT.......I never really focused on myself....my mind was too full of focusing on all of the others.......I have a drawer full of make up.....I have several different curliing irons and other types of things that would mean thinking about myself for a change....I have a closet full of clothes...yet I usually just grab something from the laundry basket  or dryer...and take a bath and then throw it on....something that I just wore a couple of days ago....it's always clean...but it is rarely different...or interesting...or memorable in any way.  Makeup....and doing anything to my hair other than washing and brushing it....is the usual.  Well.......my husband is a big boy and very self sufficient...LOL.....all of the children are grown and on their own......and here I am......still not really taking care of me.................not really............I have the time now...yet...it just doesn't occur to me.....it seems I'm always...WAITING for someone else to need me.!!   UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Does anyone else wait for me to need them????? NOOOOOOO...... they are always there IF I need them........but they don't just put off their lives and wait!!!! 

I'm thinking I should just do a total life redo....MY LIFE....ME FIRST......Me.....Me....Me....wow..that seems funny weird to me.....I have truly NEVER focused on myself!  I have always waited for someone else to need help and then I run to their rescue.......I do think that something D said at the hospital the other day really woke me up!!!  He was having a colonoscopy...and I was his "escort"....LOL...first was a phone call and I heard him say "you don't get any more responsible than her".........then...a   few days later at the hospital.....the lady at the desk asked my name and asked if I was his RESPONSiBLE driver....I nodded yes...and he said..."You won't find anyone MORE responsible than her".......and I realized than that  it all had worked super well for him, the kids and my parents for.....forever!  But......The one not taking care of ME was ME!

It's going to seem really weird....but for a change...I will consider myself first...and then others after...just like almost everyone else in the world does.........this sounds weird to me...and scary and daunting...but it may just be a new kind of fun for me.....i will crack out that make up.......look around in my closet and put together some different outfits.....and see if I can dress this new me up a bit more........

....we are still dealing with thelogging trucks....but we have had some fun watching the new neighbors move in....they are down a few houses from us....we do live in an amish community...but none on our rd......... a HUGE amish family with 9 children have been in the process of moving in for the last couple of days.........horse drawn buggies, and a whole bunch of little boys in straw hats and suspenders...and little girls in long dresses and bonnets.....always laughing and chatting away keep going by on bikes and in various buggies....hauling their posessions to their new home......this new turn of events makes us really happy...because the people that just moved out of that house were loud and obnoxious.......we would much rather listen to happy amish kids any day.

Also....since I have been counting calories or points or both now for so long....and almost always staying under 1,500...and usually around 1,200 cals.......rather I count or not.......I think I can trust myself now to not spend my day counting.......it just seems to be a habit now.........of course every once in a while i will go over...and sometimes I'm under....but I think I can stop the actually counting...unless that backfires...then I will begin that again........clothes have been the best gauge for me.......keeping on keeping on.

 

 

 

innerpeace on 07/12/2019:
I guess being in the military putting make up on and curling my hair was just not something I grew up doing. So to me that doesn't mean I'm not taking care of myself - OK but I don't either (take care of myself) but putting on makeup is the last thing I want to do. And I guess wearing a uniform for 20 years, heck like you I wear the same outfits every week, a different shirt with the same black pants. I do wear concealer to hide my awful skin blemishes still running rampant at 52...and I dry my hair. Which sometimes I want to get it cut short so that extra 15-20 minutes spent on blow drying could be used elsewhere...like maybe sleep.

I think mine is the excuse thing. Just last night I was getting off the couch at my back and body was hurting...this is why I don't work out or exercise, I'm so sick of my body hurting, why make it hurt more? I would rather not, and I'm working to get out of this mind set...

We will always be a work in progress. The older we get the faster time goes, so now that it was just the 4th, like yesterday, I'm thinking if I stick to a plan of any kind it will be next month tomorrow and I could have already lost all my weight. Wishful thinking anyway.

I'm glad you got your wifi back for a minute, I think using DD on my phone is tedious. Have a great day, I'm off to work on myself :)

BearCountryGG on 07/12/2019:
I'm thinking that my yoyo weight situation has been about my lack of caring for myself over the years......,if I had been taking care of me as well as I took care of them it probably would not have happened. I also wonder where I would be weight wise if I had worked harder.....and YEAH...WIFI!!!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/13/2019:
yes DD is wayyyy better on a computer than the phone! i've had the same experiences..

Totally support you taking more care of yourself for a good change. I have a friend with not the same background as you, but, she also grew up not caring for herself and just caring for her family (she's one of 4 siblings) and parents. she sometimes suffers from forgetting to care for herself and does things that do not help her but cause her to suffer. that's not you...i'm just saying, she's used to growing up without putting herself first.

So nice you will definitly have nicer neighbors now. I grew up around a mormon family with similar amount of kids. they'd sing at the piano together and were a very musical family - at least one of them still taking part as a career in the arts today.

You begin to know how much to eat based on experiences so it does make sense you could begin to count less :)

enjoy your day and some new outfits and possibly makeup.

Regarding makeup, i always feel "dirty" with it on and love to wash it off my face as soon as possible. I don't even wear makeup to work - only special occasions now or get togethers that are bigger and just occasional too. I think i'll wear just light makeup tonight....not a fan of sweating with it on in this summer heat. LOL.

BearCountryGG on 07/13/2019:
I know a lot of women feel dirty with make up on.......for me...I actually feel better...I have had really dark under eye circles for years...and when I'm wearing makeup....i can cover them up....so it's a plus for me.....the dark circles are hereditary....old photos never lie...LOL


Donkey on 07/13/2019:
I agree that I do not necessarily believe that make-up is required for self-care, but I know what you mean. Isn't it nice to have a flash of color on one's cheeks? Or a nice shade of pink on the lips?

I'm very basic, most of the time, when it comes to make-up. I wear powder, to even out my skin tone and also because my nose and forehead get shiny. I wear something on my lips - usually lipstick, but sometimes gloss with a tint - to liven up my face. I don't wear eye make most of the time because I wear contacts. During the day, I put in drops or rub my eyes -- and neither of those activities work well with eye make-up on, LOL.

I do pamper myself with skin and hair treatments though. Especially skin.

My wardrobe could use a complete make-over, but sadly, body image issues prevent me from ever doing anything about it. I need Stacy and Clinton or those guys from "Queer Guys for the Straight Guy" except it would be for this gal.

BearCountryGG on 07/13/2019:
Under eye dark circles are a problem for me..concealer is a big help there.........I need to freshen up my wardrobe too....these old clothes...are so OLD!!! LOL


Maria7 on 07/13/2019:
It is good that now that you finally have time for yourself that you are realizing that you can kick back some and enjoy taking care of you and your Hubby after having lived a life of caregiving to others.

BearCountryGG on 07/13/2019:
It's funny Maria......it's a habit that can be hard to shake.....but I need to shake it.


Maria7 on 07/13/2019:
Yes, and I guess we will always be 'caregivers'...but we need to look after ourselves, too, something that we seem to have both been guilty of not doing in the past when our lives have been so wrapped up in making sure that others are okay and doing all we can to make sure they are, while ignoring our own well-being.

BearCountryGG on 07/13/2019:
I'm realizing that by my hovering over all of them I crippled them in a way...I was too eager to "save" them.....and it taught them to just look to me to fix everything.....I guess I was relaly not doing them a favor.


Maria7 on 07/14/2019:
Regarding your above comment:....You and me both...That taught them dependency on us instead of personal responsibility for themselves...so now, what I am encountering with my newfound caregiving independence to certain ones who are able to do for themselves, is it is harder for these grownups to realize that things have changed and they have to be responsible for their own needs. But, like you said, we did them NO FAVORS by our doting over them and worrying about them, trying to make sure all was well with them...we just caused them to feel unable to take care of themselves, I think.

BearCountryGG on 07/14/2019:
yes.....totally agree.....but...if we step back a bit...they will figure it out I think!



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