- Saturday Sep 12, 2020
Good day yesterday. I felt extremely full after eating at Subway, but I stuck to my calories and didn't give in to the eating monster that came out around 10pm.
Day 1 - 121.4lbs; 1600 cals; 12,727 steps - excellent
I am not sure whether I want to weigh in everday going forward since i dont see much change and dont want to get demotivated.
- Friday Sep 11, 2020
Gonna try to post my food intake everyday. It's so hard to find the time, life is just crazy with three small kids. Very little time to myself. Just dropped off my oldest for her first day back to school, she was so sad, but I know she'll be OK. She just loves being at home playing with her sisters. She is starting Grade 2, six years old, her bday isn't until late December so she's always the smallest. Monday all three kids will finally be in school - twins are starting JK!!! Hard to believe, after all these years, that truly went by in a flash. I can hardly remember it.
I am a teacher, but resigned from my full time job once I had the twins. My husband works crazy long hours and far from home, so it was the best decision. I dont regret it at all, I didn't love it, but the pay and benefits were great of course. I love supply teaching, it's perfect for me, but well see how it works out this year what with all the covid nonsense. I know the teachers are under a lot of stress right now, and I am very grateful I don't have my own classroom to focus on as well right now.
Ok, on to the food. I am feeling frustrated by lack of progress. Not that I've been doing great or anything. I thought yesterday I would try to do a couple days of 1000 calories just to lower my weight a couple lbs and then maintain that...but it ALWAYS backfires. Luckily I switched gears before I binged and just got back on my normal calorie diet. I actually find I eat less if I give myself a wide breath with which to eat. For example, when I am limiting my calories, even to 1200, I start to hyper focus on it, eat a little too much for a certain time of day, worry theres not enough for the remainder of the day and give up. But if I give myself a "normal amount" I don't think about, don't worry about, just eat when I feel hungry and often eat less this way. I guess it's all psychological for me. I really resist restriction. So on that note...
Despite my weight not really moving much, I kinda know at this point I'm not willing to do much more and when I think I'll restrict today, it never works. So why bother putting myself through that agony. I will just aim to eat 1600 every single day, and if it ends up being less that's great, if not it's okay to go up to 2000 or so, but just don't binge - that binge weight is the real killer to get off! I figure if I can just do my best everyday (with of course some days higher and lower - I'm not going to bother making up for those days, just try to be in a good habit everyday) that I won't put on weight, and hopefully I'll lose. If I keep trying to find some magic plan that will work - it won't. I don't want to waste any more time. Next year this time I might be where I want if I don't fudge around.
- 1600 calories a day
- No carrying forward or backyard (might discourage if I see one day I only have 1000 calories or whatever. Better to just develop the behaviour of 1600 everyday and develop strategies e.g. if there is a party or something of that nature, learn to work around it, not pick at party food, don’t drink much alcohol, fast until the party etc)
- 10,000 steps a day
-1000 by 8am
-2000 by 9am
-3000 by 10am
-4000 by 11am
-5000 by 12pm
-6000 by 1pm
-7000 by 2pm
-8000 by 3pm
-9000 by 4pm
-10000 by 5pm
- 8 minute abs Monday, Wednesday and Friday
I feel this plan is simple, reasonable, flexible and longterm. I can’t allow myself to get discouraged by a week of no loss or even gain, if I’m truly counting accurately and following the plan. If this doesn’t work then nothing will, and I should just become satisfied with that knowledge. In one year from now, I might be at my goal weight. BE PATIENT, don’t expect results tomorrow, play the long game. It will be worth it, I believe.
- Sunday Sep 06, 2020
I was able to maintain 120.6 lbs while away. I did pretty good despite all the eating out so I am happy about that! I ate very little before dinner, maybe around 350 cals which is the only reason I stayed under 2000 at the CN Tower because it was just a lot of food, no choice really it was a prix fixe menu. The next day I tried to be reasonable. I need to remember to stop when I'm full or not get something just because it's there - I am blessed enough that if I want something at any time I can just go buy it - so no need to feel like it's the last time i'll ever experience ice cream or donuts or whatever. I probably averaged under 2000 the last three days, hard to say exactly but maybe 1800.
All the other forums online, or facebook calorie counting groups, people all eat MUCH much lower calorie. As much as I sometimes wish I could just to lose this weight quicky, when I try to restrict that much I rebel big time and end up binging. But then I started second guessing if I'll ever lose eating a more reasonable number. But, I did it before, so surely I can do it again. I'm learning that just because I go over my number, I can still be totally fine if I don't start overeating. I'm gad to see this learning curve take place (Thank you Horn of Plenty for your advice).
Today is my nephews birthday. I usually overeat at parties because I'm just standing around. I have new eating pattern I'm going to try to adhere to. I often snack incessently rather than plate meals which I'd like to get away from. A little discipline is needed to steer myself in the right direction. This is what I am thinking:
Breakfast around 9am or 10am - 250 calories
Lunch around 12 or 1pm - 350 calories
Snack around 2 or 3pm - 200 calories
...at this point I'm half way done my calories at 800 cals...
Dinner around 5pm - 600 calories
Dessert whenever I feel like it - 200 calories
Not sure I could actually do something this regimented, but I'm going to try so maybe I could have more structure in my day.
Breakfast at 9:40am - puffed wheat cereal with protein powder milk: 200 cals
I always start the day with black coffee. When I was downtown, I did a little shopping in Yorkville and went crazy at the Nespresso store, buying 18 sleeves of various types of coffee! I got the welcome offer so these pretty clear glass cups and espresso/saucers also $25 off. I will have fancy coffee for a long while :)
I better run - presents to wrap, kids to get ready, food to get and not to mention I need to get ready. Have a lovely Sunday everyone!!!
- Thursday Sep 03, 2020
I have been very busy lately and struggling to find time to post. Plus, I was feeling discouraged by my weight sticking to 122. So, I would go over my 1600 calorie allotment like everyday, not terribly though. Maybe a couple hundred. I find I stop counting at that point. Evening+tired=no willpower. Overeating doesn't seem worth it, as it takes days to recover. And I kept wanting to change my "plan" because that's easier than just being consistent! Argh, frustrated with myself. Well, this morning it was down to 120.6 so I guess patience is actually soooo important. Can't help but think if I actually stopped eating at night (when I wasnt even remotely hungry after dinner) how far I'd be now. Onwards right?
We're going on one more little getaway before the fall & before my husband starts his new job. Just to downtown Toronto, it's not even far from us haha. But the kids will enjoy going to the CN Tower, they love dinosaurs so we'll go to the museum etc. Plus they adore hotels lol.
I hope to keep my eating reasonable! So far so good...
- Monday Aug 31, 2020
My daughter woke me up at 6am, I was able to put her back to bed but I was totally awake at that point, so I came downstairs, made an espresso (with extra water, so more like a small americano) and came to read on here. I am starting to feel differently, like deep in the inside, that I am going to lose this weight. Reading through your journals has invigorated me and I feel really positive! God, it's a nice feeling to have again. I woke up at 122 lbs this moring, and while I HATE seeing that number, I truly believe it willbe a thing of past soon.
I want to start walking more again, I need to make it a priority. It's hard because the kids never ever want to go LOL. They just want to play. I should really get my moms treadmill over, she doesnt want it, but my husband thinks I'll never use it haha and is hesitant to drag it over and find room for it etc. I understand that. I'm not super keen on walking a treadmill in the basement. I want to do some ab work, but it seems when I tried over the summer it would cause me this crazy lower back pain. I tried to modify it, or not do it everyday, but nothing really helped. So I figured I probably need to just lay off it completely. The pain was a bit scary. I really need to go to the doctor becasue I should get my back checked out. I have scoliosis, had surgery to correct my spine when I was 12, the rods actually broke but they left them as is. My back was never a problem, but I wonder all these years later, after 2 pregnancies, if maybe things are worse now. I'm a little self conscious that my spine isn't perfectly straight, but no one has noticed. My husband says its mild and only I notice...but I hate it. Anyways, I don't like my doctor, struggling to find a new one, plus all this covid stuff makes medical stuff difficult to do. Just another thing on the list!
Plan for today: count calories, no overeating, and try to do my ab workout Monday, Wed and Friday (and see if my lower back gets aggravated again).
The kids and I made cinnamon muffins and I had a little plus couple bites pbj on english muffin...lets approx that at 275
FOOD INTAKE TODAY:
Muffin and pbj
pizza made out of pita bread plus few bites of other things
- Sunday Aug 30, 2020
(1600 calories and 10,000 steps)
I couldnt sleep anymore and its 530 am so just decided to get up. I dont really get time to myself so this is actually nice. I decided to weigh in knowing it would be bad 122.8. To be expected, I had a lot of food. Drank some of his martini, over dinner probably half a bottle of wine, split some fancy appetizer, got this pasta dish..then went for a walk along lakeshore and got a almond milk latte and cakepop from starbucks to have while watching a lil jazz music at the square. When we picked up the kids from my moms house I had a couple candies with them. I had around 1000 calories before going, guessing dinner was altogether like 1800 calories...grand total maybe 2800
I definitely am feeling like I'll never get anywhere. At least I'm facing some calorie truths now. I usually dont think or look back the next day. I just know that it's easy to get used to seeing a higher number on the scale over time and I really dont want it to keep going up. I feel like I put in effort every day but never actually get anywhere. One bad day of eating brings it right back up, and then that turns into multiple bad days...
How did I used to find it so easy to maintain 10 lbs less? How did I even get there? Ok enough complaining, anything will work if you stick to it. I flip flop too much. Calorie counting is great, but I do snack too much doing it because I can just note it down. Maybe I should do three meals again? Feeling discouraged if you can't tell..
A few weeks ago I made a plan of 1600 calories a day, 10,000 steps, only weighing once a week and it worked soooo well...then when i stepped on the scale and saw 119 after a week I was so happy. But weirdly it totally threw me off track and I couldnt repeat it anymore. So weird how thats happening to me. Anyways I was thinking to try that again, except the week before my period go up to 2000 calories (becuase I find that pms can make me hungrier so just work it in).
Today went well and I'm happy I kept my eating together! It was an easy Sunday, beautiful weather around 22 degrees and we spent a good portion of the day at the shopping mall,doing some returns, looking at the pet store, got the kids some Tim Hortons (I only had a bite of their stuff, just coffee for me). Luckily the kids have no problem wearing masks. Came home and did a steak bbq dinner. I picked a bit while preparing because I just felt very hungry and snacky. Although I mildly spoiled my appetite, it did seem to help not overeat at dinner. I had a thought for the future during those HARD evenings of chaos when I throw in the towel and just start eating everything: make a bag of popcorn which is about 200 calories and slowly eat that to have something in my mouth that is sort of filling and satisfied that need to chew on something out of both hunger and stress and exhaustion etc. If I can't curb it altogether, maybe find a way to work with it.
Okay, today was around 1350-1400 but I feel much fuller than that...so let's just say I likely didn't go over my limit of 1600. I am so tired, looking forward to bedtime :)
- Saturday Aug 29, 2020
(1600 calories and 10,000 steps)
I have been looking for a place like this for YEARS!!! I love to count my calories, and dieting is my "hobby". It's really hard to find a forum where I could talk about it anonymously (didnt want facebook groups etc). I wanted to keep a diary of sorts and just didnt know where to go about it! I am beyond thrilled to find this little nook on the internet. SO Perfect :)
I guess some background would help. I just turned 37 years old, live in Canada and am married with a 6 year old and 4 year old twins. I always struggled to have my weight where I wanted it. I am 5'2 and currently around 120 looking to get to my happy weight of 110lbs. Maybe 12 years ago I got my weight from 140ish down to 115-118 (give or take) by eating only 3 meals a day (The No S Diet). I loved it for years and it was a really easy way to maintain weight without any real work - just no snacking, didnt even count calories). It worked until I got pregnant and then decided when I was home with my first child that I had the time to count calories and wanted to snack etc. It worked amazingly well, when it never had before in my life. I finally got down to 111 lbs and maintained effortlessly until I got pregnant with twins and had the same experience. The weight just fell off and I maintained close to 110 lbs eating pretty well (probably around 2000 calories i imagine - no formal exercise). I toyed with veganism which just completely stressed me out, and I slowly lost track with what I was doing to keep myself accountable and on track...and the pounds crept on. This happened maybe 2.5 years ago and I've just never been able to lose weight since. It's horribly depressing for me - I felt so good back then, it felt effortless. I'm not sure why I can't repeat what I did back then. I remember thinking to myself many years ago, what number of calories could I live with forever? I randomly decided 1600 and it turns out that is kind of my magic number. I will slowly lose weight on that. But i'm just not sticking to anything these days. I wonder if breastfeeding made losing weight so easy in the past, and all i had to do was maintain (I'm excellent at maintaining, but can't lose weight for the life of me). I'm hoping this diary will help me sort out my thoughts.
Its hard to condense everything so I'll just keep writing everyday or as much as I can, and my story will spill out over time!
Breakfast was a few bites of egg/bacon sandwich from my daughter and few bites of a bran muffin (estimating that at 175 calories). Oh and coffee! I love coffee Drink it black usually. I have way too many coffee machines and just got a Nespresso Vertuo for my birthday.
I should also mention I hate using apps like My Fitness Pal etc. I know calories so well it takes more time than its worth. I found a calculator type app called Carrot, and its all i need. I write the food and the calories, and it essentially just adds it for me, keeping track so i dont have to in my head or write it down. I'm super busy with my family so this works well for me.
My husband and I are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate my birthday at the place we got married. It's in our lovely downtown area, there is outdoor live jazz music saturday nights, it should be so nice. Need to save calories for that! I could go on and on...better log off now.