Day 78: Intention: ___; Mantra: Just go with it.
Today is the Veterans' Christmas Brunch, so this will be short. Frankly, I'm getting tired of eating.
Work was extremely stressful yesterday. First, I walk into a couple of emails from a realtor that we've done a bit of business with, and we've helped her with her Will and estate planning. Anyway, I emailed her something Thursday before leaving, which was misinterpreted, and her feelings got really hurt, which made me feel just awful. Not really from even a business perspective, but just personally, I felt really bad. I explained to her what I really meant - that I was really frustrated with a lender for not keeping her and I in the loop, but sharing information with the opposite lawyer & agent all the time. She took my comment to mean that I wasn't appreciative of all of her efforts in trying to get the lender to tell us what's going on.
This lender was so bad - they wouldn't even respond to their own client! But heck yeah, let's let the other attorney and other agent know what's going on. Sheesh!
So I explained and apologized profusely. She admitted that emotions are running a little high on this deal and she would chalk it up to a misunderstanding. Ugh - try explaining all of this to my boss... He was actually quite understanding, but geez just more stress for him and for me. We just have to get this deal done, if for no one else, for our poor client. I think our agent is probably desperate for her commission check, too. So for them, I really want to work hard on trying to get this done.
On top of this, our plumbing at work has backed up, so we could not use the toilets and no running water after 3pm. Unfortunately, I had eaten a cranberry-carrot salad earlier in the morning, and I think the carrots were a little too old or something, because the words "explosive diarrhea" don't even begin to explain it.
My gluteus muscles are so sore today, from Thursday and Friday's yoga sessions.
Also, dealing with a lot of cat drama here, too, which is added stress. New Kitty and Old Kitty want to kill each other, it seems. I've started calling the New Kitty "Darth Jack" because the dark force is strong with this one, let me tell you. Sick (Baby) Kitty is improving, but still has no use of her hind legs. Laundry continues to be an issue.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Day 77 (???) - I looked at my scheduling book at work, and I think somewhere there, I missed tracking 10 days... this number seems right.
Thank you for your comments on my entry yesterday. I didn't reply to comments as fully as I wanted to because I'd like to include my thoughts and gratitude here.
Helpful lessons:
Change can be uncomfortable, even if it's something I want to happen. Rather than resist in fear of the process, being open to the opportunity can make the change a positive experience.
Remain calm, because a year from now, the only thing that will matter if there was a change or not. So go for it.
I'm really glad I went to support Associate Attorney. The lunch was not buffet, but I stayed away from the potatoes and ice cream and bread. Had double salad, green beans, beef and chicken.
It was a good time.
Vinyasa yoga ("hard yoga" as I describe it to my husband) was very good! I wish I wasn't the only student there. It would be helpful - and more fun - to have a classmate or two. The instructor is great.
The studio is thinking of changing up their class offerings and times. They are thinking about blending this class with a slower yoga. I would be open to that.
Tonight is Veterans Chair Yoga with the husband . Then a date night dinner.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
enjoy the chair yoga...i never got my chance....maybe i'll do it at home, when i have a chance...
Day 66: I think I miscounted. We are already into December so there are less than 33 days left for the "100 days" challenge... none of this went the way I had intended anyway.
I was driving to work the other day, feeling like my life is a mess: not keeping track of finances, off track on diet, off track on yoga, just feeling a mess.
I stopped myself and thought, maybe this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, maybe this is how I'm supposed to be doing things for me at this time. Maybe things aren't a total reason wreck. I'm not sure what that's all about, but it helped me feel better.
Stress yoga was ok. Got confused at one point about left- right, so the teacher had to help me out. Also, could not maintain balance on a one-legged position. It was hard to let go and relax at the closing meditation (savasana).
Tonight is Vinyasa yoga, and I'm quite divided about going. Why am I afraid?
Sick Kitty is taking her medicine, and eating and drinking more. This is good except that now she's peeing all over her bedding, because she is still too weak to get off the bed and use her box. So that's not good. We clean her and her bedding, to keep her dignity intact, but it's stressful.
Today, Mistakes Girl and I are going to a 2.5 hour luncheon to watch Associate Attorney's inauguration as Treasurer for a local realtor group. He initially joined this group (even though he's not an attorney) for networking purposes. Becoming treasurer is the last thing he needs on his plate right now, but that's his drama, not mine. Hard to watch a train leaving the station knowing what wreck lies ahead. Nice Lady will end up doing all of his work on this.
I hope I can make good choices. I'm hoping it's a buffet so that I can load up on vegetables, lol...
And I hope I can make up my mind about scary yoga tonight...
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
HOWEVER, if we want change or if we want anything else, we must get UNCOMFORTABLE. you want some change, you want new things in your life...that is the uncomfortable part.
the more you can get uncomfortable, the more chances you'll have also at change and for good things to come out of what you are learning.
not everything may be good right now, but you are learning from all of your experiences. so, although sometimes everything feels wrong and you get upset over it, there's things to learn and grow from these points of feeling uncomfortable and it's during this time that you learn...even yoga too!
It worked!
Day 64:
Up early to get in my morning bike ride before catching the 8a train into Chicago. My mom is in town for a quick visit, and we are meeting her downtown for lunch. Initially, it was going to be my husband coming too, but he has opted to stay home. It's quite a bit of walking, too much, for him. In addition, he thought someone ought to stay home to take care of Sick Kitty, as her medicine is supposed to arrive today. Plus, he woke up with a cold this morning, which rather sealed his decision.
I'm a little behind in this, but I've been thinking about switching back to low carb rather than keto - to revert for about a month. It would have been grand to start this on December 1st but missed that opportunity.
I realized this morning that I missed Library Yoga last night. This is only offered once a month, so I'm rather disappointed with my forgetfulness.
(This is the class with the teacher who had weight loss surgery.)
Library Yoga is Yin Yoga, which I find so relaxing... a missed opportunity indeed.
Oh well, tonight is Stress Reduction Yoga so perhaps I will enjoy that even more.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Also, hoping you make it to yoga.
What was for lunch!?
Day 63: Just going to get through it.
I did no yoga. I'm keeping a hand-written yoga journey in a planner that my daughter bought for herself and then decided she wasn't going to use it. It's been 4 days without yoga, and today will probably be day 5 without yoga. There are a million excuses, but primarily, I'm so worried about my poor cat.
Her medicine is supposed to arrive tomorrow, and we will be downtown for most of the day, visiting my mom in Chicago. (Mom came out from Vegas for this.) It's a tradition with her to go to the Walnut Room dining room at Macy's (the old Marshall Fields). My heart just isn't in it.
Oh and gained 2.5 pounds over the holiday. Well... the pie is completely gone now, so hopefully this means I can get back on track. I do not want to go over my Goal Weight.
On the positive side, I was very proud of myself for weight training on Saturday.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
also, you can totally keep maintaining, how could you not!? you've come tooooo far to quit. :) i'm totally with you xoxoxoxo
even though your heart is not in it with your mom, try to enjoy her company as it's limited and you don't get to see her always. <3
that's what i'll be doing tonight, with my dad for dinner. the weather is so bad, he should just drive home but wants to have dinner with me after he gets outta work!
Day 62: Intention: Today, I allow myself to feel sorrow and grief. Mantra: Just get through today.
Well... my son is off. He managed to avoid delays and bad weather, thank goodness. That is how getting up at the butt-crack of dawn is rewarded. It was very foggy when I got up and wet outside. It has just now started to rain again, and this will soon become a snowy mix. I shouldn't have to shovel.
No yoga at the Yoga Studio today. I slept in a little, because I was up all night doing laundry. If it's not one cat losing her bladder control (Baby Kitty aka Sick Kitty), it's the New Kitty, voicing his frustration. Oh well, it's a nice day to stay at home and do laundry.
Poor Baby Kitty is still sick, but at least she is still eating wet food; she will not drink water any more. Not using her box any more as she has little control with her legs. I do hope that she can bounce back, when her medicine gets here on Tuesday. And so help me Jesus if somebody steals the box of meds off the front porch, they will have Kitty's death on their hands.
It's a lot of work and a lot of stress.... and just sadness. Some of the sadness is hormones, I get that. So I'm just going to allow myself to feel everything I need to feel.
I plan to do yoga at home today with New Kitty. Even though he pees on my bed, I do really like him. My daughter, though, told his former owner (her co-worker) that co-worker needs to find a new home for Jack. I hope not. I really do like him a lot.
glad your son got back despite the bad weather which we are having, too. it's not sticking much, yet...
Day 61: Intention: Mantra:
It's almost 10am and I'm the only one up. Our poor kitty with the eye problem was not doing too well this morning. So bad, in fact, that my daughter texted me that she thought the cat would die today. Her eye tumor is caused by a rare fungal infection, and the custom made medicine won't get here until Wednesday or Thursday. However, she is not drinking enough water, and that is dangerous for cats. So I will be tending to her regularly today, to see if I can get her to drink and eat wet food. Hang in there, Kitty!
I plan to spend most of today at home.
Today is the last day with our son. His flight leaves early tomorrow morning, so we have to get him to the airport even earlier. I am hoping that by leaving early, he can avoid the rain/snow mix and high winds that is supposed to affect the Chicago area.
I did pretty well on Thanksgiving and then yesterday - with the sole exception of PIE. Oh my goodness, BOTH pies have got to GO. Anyway, I did pretty well but have not weighed myself, so who really knows.
I have not heard back from the Hard Yoga studio that offers Friday night yoga - regarding a promotional 10% off. Perhaps it is not meant to be. Well, with the holiday and all, perhaps the owner just hasn't gotten back to me yet.
Any yoga I do today will be at home, and I'm not so sure I'll do any today. I feel like I need a reset, a refocus.
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
Because our homes are an expression of our minds and every corner has to be in order to feel whole.
I hope your kitty feels better, i'm really sorry you and the kitty are having to deal with this upsetting situation!
I'm so glad you were able to spend time with your son! so how is he doing!?
It might be difficult for the yoga studies to return your call so soon due to the holiday? perhaps? also, isn't it great to be able to exercise at home? boy is it easier for me than going out to the gym!!!! for myself i plan to do legs!...i must write what i do in my entry today for a legs routine.
Day 59: Today I honor my blessings. Mantra: Happy Thanksgiving!
I am enjoying a quiet morning. Everyone is still sleeping. I checked on my kids and our poor little sick kitty. Old Kitty has said her good mornings. New Kitty is still in his room, where he stays overnight, so that our house can rest without the possiblity of major cat battles during the night. I had a handful of walnuts and a smaller handful of almonds. I am drinking coffee.
Because my daughter has to work today, we are planning on having a Thanksgiving breakfast brunch. I know there will be yogurt, fresh fruit, and some kind of blueberry French Toast casserole dish.
For dinner, which will be myself, Mr. Donkey, and Son, because nobody here is a big turkey eater, we're having shepherd's pie instead, with spiced baked apples, (possibly Brussel spouts, otherwise green salad), and then 2 types of pie for dessert, apple and pumpkin.
I will do the best that I can do.
I had a very nice Stress Reducing session on Tuesday. Yesterday, Mistakes Girl and I tried "Gentle Yoga", to give it a test run before recommending it to Male Co-Worker. I personally felt that this class is exactly what he needs - easy, gentle, relaxing - to help him with his anxiety. I was a little disappointed though, because usually Danielle teaches the class, and I wanted to meet her and try out her teaching style. She's in Vegas visiting family for the holiday - which kind of stabbed me, because this is what *I* should be doing - so the teacher was the owner, Sarah. I like Sarah, but I did want to meet someone new.
So I didn't get out of it what I wanted.
I've been struggling with return to Vinyasa Yoga (see Donkey's Yoga Disaster 3). Love the challenge, appreciate teacher Jeanne, but I don't know if I'm ready for it... I like the challenge, but is it honoring my body's limitations? I was thinking, because I have hip alignment and lower back issues, perhaps balance poses will never be a possibility for me. Like the Library Yoga teacher, who is also physically limited (weight loss surgery), perhaps this is me, too.
I'm thinking of going back to the first yoga studio (see Donkey's Yoga Disaster 1), because they offer a Friday evening "Let Go" class. That is the only class I would plan to take with them. I received an offer for a 10% discount because I attended that awful free class. I was thinking of getting a 10-class ticket. They are discounted for "newbies" - a one-time deal.
IDK, lately I've been experiencing discouragement in my yoga journey. I suppose even with that which we love, there are difficulties...
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
But do I subject myself to the physical effort and humiliation/frustration in the meantime? I guess there's no improvement without struggling with the process...
hmmm...even though you didn't get out of yoga to meet the teacher, you still did an entire full session of yoga practice :) that to me is the bigger accomplishment and wow! - you brought your coworker!? how cool!
why with weight loss surgery is the teacher limited? do you know? (curious)
for your yoga, realize (perhaps) that to get what you want from it and learn what you like, you're checking out everything to also see what is not for you. it's all know to you, so i guess it's not all roses.
once, i was VERY into hot yoga. for over a year, maybe more like 2 years. with the hot yoga, i didn't like it at first, but it grew on me...
you are just learning what you like and don't like with yoga and it makes sense for you not to like everything but in your exploration, i guess you are going by trial and error!
True, I am still testing the waters. I am much more into Yin Yoga - slower paced, holding positions for 5-10 breaths - than any other kind of yoga. I still want - or think I want - the challenge of a faster paced class. I'll give it a little more time to see if I can improve. If not, then I'm going to focus more on what I CAN do.
The Library Yin Yoga teacher said that she used yoga as her physical exercise component to her weight-loss surgery. She still has quite a bit of excess skin and fat, so she may not be done losing. And I don't know if yoga is the ONLY thing she does - she may do some walking too.
I find for myself that being larger in the legs and having extra flab in my gut interferes with faster yoga. The legs are kind of double-edged: I have amazing strength that I didn't even know, but being larger, some of the positions are not attainable because the muscle gets in the way. And my gut - well I've had that since I was 20, but the extra skin is from having 2 HUGE babies!
Day 57:
The soreness in my neck lasted until the afternoon yesterday, but is no longer bothering me this morning. Yay!
I did not sleep well at all. My husband was up all night with GI and bathroom problems. He did not sleep at all, so at least I'm better off than he is.
I found out yesterday that myself and Nice Lady will be the only ones in the office on Friday (Thursday is American Thanksgiving). Everyone else is taking the day off.
Tonight is Stress Reducing Yoga. If you couldn't tell, I've been very discouraged about yoga lately. Sunday, I was so down in the dumps about it.
It's funny how this one thing (yoga) is bringing up so many unresolved issues that I've been carrying around with me: body image, gender issues, performance issues, aging issues...
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
Will Friday be easier ?
I do not have much to do at work on Friday. I plan to stay until 11am, to be frank. Oh... I just realized that I should try to be home when my daughter is awake right before she goes to work at noon.... Well, I do not think that part will work out.
Day 56:
I finally remembered to weigh in. I had intended to do this over the weekend, but kept forgetting. Still maintaining!
I went to Yin Yoga yesterday. This is a slow class, where we hold seated or lying down poses for longer periods of time. It's a wonderful stretch, but this morning I woke up with a sore neck.
I did a "gentle yoga" session later in the afternoon, at home, using the app on my phone. I was startled when I actually fell over during a position where I was on my hands and knees (with a twist). That was sobering. Losing my balance on my hands and knees???
I see now where my struggle lies. I've pushed this off to the side for a while, moving forward in denial. But one way or another, I WILL have to face the limitations of my body.
I try to do too much. In trying to achieve the position or sequence, I overdo it, to show that I can do it. This means that my practice is ego-driven, and that's not good. (Basically, I'm showing off, to others, perhaps, but mostly to myself. )
My limitations may be due to the body I've been given, they may be due to age. They are difficult to acknowledge, much less to respect.
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
It's just hard when you want to be able to do something and you find that you cannot.
Isn't it great to maintain!? sometimes i forget how far i've come, but it's simply the best - to put on clothes and they fit and no worries in that dept !!!
well, back to limitations- with more practice, you may probably just improve in your yoga abilities!
It's good to have a dream.
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You meant well...unfortunately the way other people take things is not the way we meant them and emails and messages are often misunderstood.....just let it go...you two have talked it out and that's all you can do. Well...bathroom situations are the worst....been there done that....are there other bathrooms in the building??? Hope for your sake there were....and the kitties...sad to hear that their health and behaviors aren't working out too well.....like living in a war zone I'm sure. Does the sick one scoot around? Does she just lay all day?
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