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Donkey - Monday Sep 20, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

I was feeling much more positive, but I can feel that my energy has shifted.  Is it the lingering heat and humidity? (Cool-off is coming Wednesday, now.)  Is it the dread of going to work?  Is it the bathroom issues this morning?  I just don't feel as well situated as I had yesterday.

It seems as though my GI system has FINALLY reconciled itself -- it's just unfortunate that it chose early Monday morning to do so, rather than on a weekend, when time is more lax.  Whoa, what a difference!  I had not realized how bloated and uncomfortable I was, until this correction.  I feel "reset" but also a bit surprised by this.  Also struggling with TOM right now - things are changing.

I'm hoping that yoga tonight will help me "reset" myself mentally.

 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/20/2021:
I know what you mean about TOM changing......it did for me too and a hysterectomy stopped that part but the menopause [art goes on and it was a wild ride...get ready for hot flashes....( hint...don't put your summer clothes away...it may be snowing outside but it will be 90 degrees inside)...


Jacky82020 on 09/20/2021:
Donk, are you saying you took a decent dump & feel better? One of the highlights of my week, or perhaps weeks gone by when a good crap was truly a blessing from on high. LOL The potassium is really doing it now. Doing about 4 grams a day.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
awww, sorry you aren't feeling as good as yesterday! xoxo

we have had a cooling off and it's soooo nice. mid 70's. just perfect!

i also got TOM today...! wasn't expecting it for a few more days. i think it's a hair early. but, i always (almost) wear a pantiliner to work for issues like this and similar so that i always have extra protection, lol. it's one of my peeves to leave without wearing one!

i'm sure you feel better after the dump dump as jacky mentioned.

i'm currently realizing my hair is quite thin due to hormones. may try something like the women's version of rogaine, but not yet. i need more of a push to do it...and once you start, you cannot stop. so first, i'll just work on growing my hair out a little more so i can even it up; get a trim in december or so.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
wow! 90F yesterday for you?! it was at tops 75 yesterday and so sunny that the beaches were pretty full! people really enjoyed it and it WAS warm enough bc of the very warm sun!

The gun range sounds fun for a date night. it's not like you are going out shooting and random people/things. it's controlled. i see that as fun too. it's similar to bowling, aiming at a target. responsible adults should be able to enjoy it.

i think i once tried either tai kwon do or tai chi but i didn't understand the moves. whoever was teaching, was teaching above my beginner level .i think it was when i was in college, there was a small group being taught.hardly anyone came, most had some practice lol. so i was the newbie. if you don't want to sign up for classes starting so soon - don't. you really don't have to do what you don't want to - and i've certainly been doing a lot of them by not showing up to volunteer (which really isn't the right thing to do!) so i've made a mental note not to sign up for anything else while i am taking a course!


Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
great idea to do the practice hike(s) with hubby. it's a good way to go to local parks / neighborhoods with walkways / greenways and benches and to get good exercise, both of you, this lovely time of year.

i remember there used to be gym hogs. if i really wanted to use the equipment; and already tried waiting; i'd ask if they could share. many times, they would...


Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
all because we are female and they can do higher weight levels, doesn't mean they can hog the machines.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2021:
Have you ever had any issues in pushing yourself to read at home. sometimes, i have a very hard time starting to read; which is why i like to do it on the subway and bus (there seems to be less to do, lol, while sitting there; and it's easier for me to distract myself with a book).


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Donkey - Sunday Sep 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Good morning!  A lovely, quiet, calm Sunday morning, but oh BOY is it gonna be a HOT one today.  HOT and HUMID, with a high of 90F.  Ooof!


I kind of wanted to clarify things.  I'm not really a gun person at all; I don't care for them, definitely not my first choice of things to do.  On a personal level, I find them rather intimidating.  Also, philisophically, I don't agree with them.  However, I can support responsible gun ownership.  And finally, this endeavor is more for the benefit of Mr. Donkey - see my comment to Happy on my entry yesterday - but it's also good to test my boundaries & limits, which can be very rigid & narrow.

BUT I came to the realization this morning that perhaps I am too ambitious with changes & challenges.  I have come to a place of weight-loss maintenance; I have come to a place of professional (job) maintenance.  So perhaps now is not the time to be diving into all sorts of new adventures and such.  It may be a time for mental maintenance as well. 

Having said that, BEFORE I came to this thought TODAY, the following happened YESTERDAY:

  • I did respond to the email regarding a free personal training session.  I haven't gotten a response yet.  Let's see if that goes anywhere.
  • I went onto the library website to sign up for the indoor Tai Chi for Beginners class.  Turns out, I can start next weekend outdoors. This is a class/activity that they offer every Saturday afternoon 3p-4p.  Hmmm... This threw me off a little bit.  I have not signed up for either the indoor class in November nor any outdoor classes sooner.
  • The gun range date night thing is too far along NOT to happen; these will probably be starting in October.  Well, it will be nice to have Date Nights with Husband that aren't focused around eating.

I finished reading "When Breath Becomes Air".  I'm proud of myself that I could finish a book.  I did stay up late (10:30p) to finish it. I'm glad that I did, and this didn't stop me from waking up naturally at around 4:30am today.

I had an only OK day at the gym yesterday.  I'm really surprised, too, because it was not crowded at all, and folks were doing OK with wearing masks.  However, there were 2 guys that were monopollizing 2 of the machines that I wanted to use, because they were ON THEIR PHONES.  And one guy -- he was playing Scrabble or Words with Friends!!!  DUDE!  Get off the phone and do your weights!  And Scrabble Guy wasn't even the most offensive.  It was the OTHER guy who was honking me off, because he did the very same thing LAST Saturday too.  In the 25 minutes that he spent sitting on the chest press machine, I was able to do 3 sets of 15-20 reps on THREE other machines!!!!


I'm looking forward to a day of folding laundry, reading, gym (leg day), and spending time with Husband. He proposed that we have a "practice" hike to prepare for the hikes while we're on vacation, but if it's hot, forget it.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/19/2021:
A practice is a very good idea!!! Shoes and ankles need testing!

Donkey on 09/19/2021:
Oh boy, my right shoulder is gonna be sore!!!!!


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Donkey - Saturday Sep 18, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Well, well... look at that lovely weigh-in today!  Isn't maintenance grand?  I'll be honest, I'd much prefer to see a number in the 120's, but this is a good number too.  And that I can maintain it, eat a lot, exercise a lot, and still feel great (except for the recent sleep slump) - I'll take it!!

Eating went well yesterday.  I felt satisfied after my 3pm snack at work, but that's good because I worked late.  Dinner was lighter - fish - and I felt very satisfied at the end.  In fact, I did not even finish my square of dark chocolate.

My sleep was probably not as good as I would like it, but I woke up early, naturally on my own, and I like that.  I went to bed much later (almost 10:30pm) so that it would be easier to fall asleep, and it WAS easier.

I'm well on my way to doing my weekend chores.  I do hope to read. I didn't get a chance to read last night; I also didn't write in my gratitude agent yesterday either, so I will need to write yesterday's gratitude as well as one for today.


Lately, my mantra has been "Inhale calm, exhale drama" that I use while breating to meditate. However, after my argument with Husband on Thursday, I started returning back to the "I am open to change. I am not afraid of change" during my lunchtime walk.  Closer to the truth would be, "I am not real receptive to change. Change is out of my comfort zone" but that doesn't quite have a Zen feel to it, does it?  LOL...  

So I have a couple of ideas on things to do that will challenge me, sort of a Bucket List, although rather minor in the big picture of life.

  • There is a free, beginner's Tai Chi class being taught at the library - where I used to do Library Yoga (sadly, no longer offered because of COVID) on Saturday, November 13th.  I think I'm going to do that.  I'm very uncoordinated and also very stressed.  This class is a challenge to both of those.  
  • The really big news though is that, in the quest to do more things together with Husband, I am going to learn to how to shoot at the local gun range.  This is very much NOT me, on many levels, but I think it would be a good skill to learn & have.  It is something that Husband is VERY good at and VERY excited about.  It would get him out of the house, and maybe meet new people (maybe for me too).  On Thursday, when I was complaining that I just do not have time to go to target practice, I had not realized how much he was looking forward to doing this, and the time & effort he had put into getting us ready to do endeavor.  Also, I think he's VERY lonely, even if he doesn't realize it.  

I still WANT to try other things in my own fitness journey.  I'm just brainstorming, some of these I've talked about before:

  • Attend the Strength class at the gym - there's one during the week, and one late Sunday mornings.  Free with my membership.
  • Sign up for a free personal training session the gym offered me.  Why haven't I jumped at this? 

These 4 things I've listed are very easy to enroll in and free, except for the gun range (but about equal to the cost of a date night, which is what this kind of would be, for us).  

What is stopping me? ME.  

 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 09/18/2021:
LMAO... A hot date at the gun range? I like it.

Donkey on 09/19/2021:
I do too, in the sense that there are very few things that we can do together, due to time constraints and his health issues. Winters here in Illinois are quite dark and long. It would be one thing if we had the pretty Michigan snow, but most of the time, it's a very drab gray-brown thing. Gray skies, brown grass, cold winds.

Now that the kids are essentially grown and gone, I'm working to find ways that we can reconnect, so to speak.


happy-1 on 09/19/2021:
I like anything target-related. It’s super calming to breathe, focus, and shoot. I like archery too. I don’t ever feel calm in mindfulness and meditation stuff, but I do woth anything target-related.


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Donkey - Friday Sep 17, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

The best part about yesterday is that it's behind me.  Oh man, it was BRUTAL, pretty much from the minute I got up (with no sleep) to the minute I turned of the light and struggled to fall asleep AGAIN.

Once again, felt tired, got into bed, was interrupted THREE times into falling asleep.  So I'd start to relax, and I'd wake up.  Then take more time to start to relax, and I'd hear something and become alert again.  Exhausting.  Frustrating.  Woke up at 3am, too early.  Was up at 4:30a naturally, without my alarm.

But today is Friday (yay!) and TOM is here (probably the cause of much of my strife, I hope), so that only means that things will get better soon - like in 8 hours when I come home from work, for the weekend, LOL...

SO TIRED at work.  SO BUSY at work.  The phones were quiet, and the Boss had nothing to do, so he just figures the rest of us weren't busy either.  Oh Lordy, trying to keep up with the emails --- I felt like I was literally drowning in emails.  I'd be caught up, go get the mail, come back to 10 emails.  I'd chip away at those, go to the bathroom, come back to a dozen more.  Most of them were very time-consuming too.

Came home exhausted, told Husband that I'd had a bad day, and then he starts making all these plans for things to do in the evenings during the week.  I'm like, where is this time coming from?  I don't have time. I barely have enough time to do yoga -- and that's IF I am able to leave work on time.  And if I HAD time, don't you think I'd be at the gym?  Remember how I went to the gym that one night during the week? My sleep schedule was ruined for a whole week.  And on and on....  Poor planning on his part, and lack of perspective on mine.

But it's great to head into a yoga session after having a yelling match with the Husband, isn't it? (Answer:  NO!) It did help quiet me down, though, and I realized that my husband was very excited and had put a lot of time and effort into this, only to feel "shot down" by my lack of time. 

After yoga, I was able to talk to him calmly, asking him, if he could provide me with a visual calendar as to dates or days of the week that he wants to do things together, then that would help me manage my time much better, so that I can still do what I want to do (weight training, for example) and we can still fit in these other activities.  That seemed to help both of us a lot.

  • I'll talk about this more about this tomororw, because it involves me stepping out of my comfort zone, and unfortunately, I just don't have the TIME to think it through right now.  Once I've written about it, then I will feel compelled to commit to these changes.  I'm not there yet, because my energies are too scattered.

On the bright side, because of our argument, I didn't overeat at all.  My evening snack was my usual piece of dark chocolate.  Nothing extra was needed or wanted. So there's that.  No great loss, without some small gain.  

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 09/17/2021:
DH and I live by a calendar. I hope it helps you as much as it helped us.

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
I live by a calendar too. I have one in the kitchen, and then there's my daily gratitude agenda. Husband is not the best at writing his stuff down on the calendar. If he only knew how helpful it was for me to see the commitments on the calendar, though...


happy-1 on 09/17/2021:
I feel your entry and screaming about time SO MUCH!

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
Right? THANK YOU for getting this. I say good-bye by my own time at 9am and before I know it, most of the day - and my energy - is gone.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/18/2021:
Hello, hello!

I'm sure the lack of sleep is very due to TOM. i was reading something, forgot where, and I believe it made a mention of poor sleep during TOM in general (as we know it def can cause, with waking up at night with cramps or to change a pad or something...).

comparing your boss to another. there's a company that does work for us and the boss is prob close to 70. Well, like i said, it's a diff company, not mine. and that boss came to visit my trailer. i asked him what's up - he actually told me he's planning for a total changeover soon - where he will do far less work ! he is actually planning for it; unlike your boss who either isn't telling you he's planning - or he waited to plan until now...lol.

I totally do get how one night of gym can paralyze the week. when i get up, to take public transport, that hour difference of waking up also leaves me pretty lethargicc the rest of the week. but on that note, it's good to do and a good thing to keep up with - so i guess i should try to do it later in the week or when i know i can go to sleep early the following night.

as we know, relatedly, sleep is NOT underrated, it's important.

I had similar incidence of just eating what i wanted and sleeping last night. thankful not to overdo of keep going just for the sake of a bigger dinner or sake of eating in general.

i would said HUNGER is overrated. this i'm just adding bc it came to my mind. what i mean is, we are going to feel hungry. and the longer we wait, the more hungry. BUT NOT ALWAYS. i generally have a small fasting period between lunch and dinner, frequently when i work. reason being, work gets out at 3:30, not generally hungry if my lunch was complete. and then i may walk or just drive home. i get home around 5-6pm or sometimes later now that school is in session. it's a fast of over the 3-4 hour window i like to have, tops, between eating. but i like it that way...i do feel hungry sometimes on the drive, but it's nice to just have that break from all food and be able to eat a good amount when finally home....i was thinking how this break, this window, has been good.

the day i had the dunkin donuts cruller and a tea,the window was broken and interestingly the eating while driving left me completely unsatisfied and didn't get rid of my hunger for when i got home....and i realized, might as well skip the DD. (dunkin).

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
I sincerely hope that my sleep problems were due to TOM. I've learned that whenever I have some kind of physical disruption (even back pain), to wait out for a TOM cycle, to see if my body can reconcile the inflammation, irregularity, depression, anxiety, etc., on its own.

Like KathyBlue had mentioned, it's like being a slave to one's hormones. On the plus side, though, it's good when the body resets itself naturally, after TOM. So far, so good!

Donkey on 09/18/2021:
I would have to say that my 3-4 hour fast happens in the morning. I finish breakfast by 8am (usually earlier) and don't reach for a snack until 11am. Take a walk and come back to eat at my desk. Granted, not the BEST routine.

The stress of the afternoon just triggers a HUGE snackfest. That's how I regained 50 pounds at this job, but the 3pm snackies that I filled with just junk.

Oh how I wish my Boss would have an epitome like the man who came into your office. And maybe he does, with me just not being aware of it. In a way, he has, in subtle ways. He definitely stopped going to a LOT of closings. And I find that even though he's at the office all day, that he doesn't work the entire day: a lot of chit-chat, a lot of computer surfing, 2-hour lunches, etc. With a 2-hour lunch, right there he's only working 6 hours, and I would say that at least 1 of those hours is consumed by just "visiting" around people's desks.


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Donkey - Thursday Sep 16, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

I did not sleep well last night.  Oh my word... it's been a while since I've slept so poorly. 

I got into bed late, slightly after 10pm (not good), all snuggled in, when I realized that I hadn't done my daily push-ups (monthly challenge).  So I got up to do push-ups.  After that, it was REALLY hard to relax and calm down.  So I just focused on meditative breathing, and eventually I must have drifted off to sleep.

I woke up naturally, ready to get my day started --- at 2:16am.  Nope, too early.  OK, I'll try to go back to sleep.  I guess I did because I woke up again later, rarin' to go (vroom, vroom!) -- it was 3:34am.  *sigh*

Relaxed until I eventually fell asleep again (maybe?) and woke up at 4:25am.  OK, I'll get up... but I didn't get physically out of bed until 4:37am. 

Had a great cardio workout, but boy oh boy I feel like I could use more sleep.

Tonight, I plan to get ready for bed right after yoga, Let's aim for lights out by 9:15pm.


The New Guy meeting with the Star RE Agent went very well.  I was able to invite myself (of course) into the conversation to hear how it went.  Then, for lunch, Boss, New Guy, AND Male Co-Worker went for a long lunch.  So I'm sure they were talking about more changes. 

In the meantime, since we were alone, Mistakes Girl and I discussed changes to assignment of duties, with the conclusion that New Girl needs to start doing more so that she gets good at what we need from her.  I'm already preparing, mentally, for her to become full-time soon.  That means there will be a LOT more Spanish spoken at the office, because when she's there, she speaks Spanish, and New Guy and Mistakes Girl also start speaking Spanish.  It doesn't bother me - I know some Spanish - but it's very noticeable ---- like when you have a songbird outside your window.  Not a bad thing, but you sure do hear it.

Eating was a little better yesterday.  I had a late lunch, because I had 2 hard boiled eggs for snack at 11am, and they held me until about 2pm.  So eating at dinner was easier to control (moderate).  I decided to make a short list of snacks that I could have after working out at night.  I have a box of Honey Nut Cheerios that no one else will eat. (We bought it for Son, who did not eat much breakfast at home.)  So I figured 1 cup would be OK as a nighttime snack - carbs, not too many calories, easily digestable before lights out.  It helped, but when I got up out of bed this morning, it felt like I had a solid rock in my stomach.   Hmm...

I was feeling pretty positive this morning, until I started thinking about regrets.  Talk about poisoning a day... I've shoved those aside and will focus on the positivity of today.  I love Thursdays! :-D

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/16/2021:
Kudos for the discipline to do those push ups! I’d put them off until tomorrow and probably never catch up.

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
LOL - what helps me is that I have a little calendar at work, where I cross off the date number on days that I've accomplished the goal. So far, missed only 1 day. It's a rewarding feeling to cross off another day with a big X.


bearcountrygg on 09/16/2021:
Thinking about regrets....been there and have done it a lot....but it helps instead to think of them as lessons that you learned from so that you will think before doing them again.......They are lessons learned......and yes......it is a positive Thursday!!

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
Oh that's a good idea - lessons, not regrets! I will remember this. I think this perspective will help a lot. I know better, so I do better.


Maria7 on 09/16/2021:
I hope I don't sound 'preachy' but for Hubby and me, we start the day out with a simple little devotional that we take turns reading (about 5 minutes or so) that has God's Word and it really gets positive thoughts flowing. Helps us a lot. As for a snack at night, have you tried honey graham crackers? Some people like them and their not too sweet.

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
Honey graham crackers are on my list! AND I looked at the box last night - I can have 2 whole sheets for less calories than a cup of Honey Nut Cheerios. I think that might be a better choice -- more chewing, and probably less sugar, and a few less calories.

Not preachy at all! I was thinking about this last night before going to bed, to see if I could incorporate this. Too often I'm on "automatic" in the morning. I think a 5-minute devotional would be a great idea. I'm gonna work on doing this.


Maria7 on 09/16/2021:
'they're' not 'their'. Smile.

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
^I appreciate this ;-) I know you know - sometimes our fingers just have a mind of their own. (No pun intended) See my comment to InnerPeace, talking about a 2nd "price" lottery ticket, LOL....


Horn_of_plenty on 09/16/2021:
sorry your sleep was poor. been there, done that.

I'm starting to think i'm in a very weird sleep cycle in general since starting this job. It's either over-sleeping or under-sleeping. it's like my body knows i'm going to undersleep some days, so others i'm oversleeping. eh, weird, but i'll take it at the current time. meaning, i'm ok with this based on my current lifestyle.

we have a lot of russian electricians on the job site. they speak to each other that way for ease, i guess, at times. we also have spanish, but, i think they tend to speak english.

i am not sure the cheerios would make you feel that way in the AM....was it something else?

Donkey on 09/17/2021:
It might have been the higher sugar/carbs causing the lump in my morning stomach, but now that you mention it, I think it was something else, because I kind of had that feeling for a while.

I'm "regular" but for about 2 weeks, maybe longer, I've had this feeling/sensation of just needing a ... long time in the bathroom, shall we say, to be polite. It's not irregularity, but just feel backed up.


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Donkey - Wednesday Sep 15, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Yesterday, the Boss and the New Guy met with a top producing real estate agent at her office at 4pm.  If New Guy gets her business, our office will become VERY busy.  I don't work with New Guy's files, so it doesn't affect my workload directly, but if this happens, Mistakes Girl will become more of his exclusive assistant - meaning less help for me.  New Girl will become full-time and be the one to help me.  She won't be helping me directly, but she will be the one opening up contracts, ordering title, and fixing problems on title. 

This was all unkwown to me until yesterday, that this was the plan. So we'll see if this happens.  And we'll see how I feel, and re-evaluate.  See, that's why I didn't make any changes or moves before, because not enough has changed to make it worth a move.

Nice Lady made a friendly jab at me yesterday by saying I'd better brush up on my Spanish.  She and I talked a little bit about the changes.  She will be with Associate Attorney until the very end.  I made no overtones about working for him, if something happens to the cohesiveness of the firm, so that she doesn't feel threatened.  (Also, not sure I would ever want to work soley for him.)

I came across an article, from a major news network, that said something like, "6 Reasons to Leave Your Job".  Two of the 6 apply to me for sure.  So we'll see what happens.


Yesterday was very humid and rather warm until the sun went down, so we had take-out.  Schwarma - Pakistani food.  They don't have ANY vegetables on their menu, and unfortunately, I kind of dove into the carbs a little too much - a samosas (Google it and you'll see what I'm talking about), naan, Jasmine rice -- OOF!

I'm liking this phase of "refueling"  - I guess that's what I would call it - as I start to lift heavier and have incorporated regular HIIT training into my cardio, but this feels almost as wrong as over-restricting calories.  I'm not panicking, just expressing my thoughts for now.  October will bring about changes, and so now would be a good time to mention....

Next week, my Husband and I are taking some time away to visit a bed & breakfast in Wisconsin for a couple of days.  There is some hiking that I want to do.  I don't know if Husband will be up for it, but at least he's willing to try.  If he's not up to all of it, or even any of it, he can come with me, do as much as he can, and then sit while I go on ahead, and then return to him.  If we have cell phone service, it will reduce risk much more than if there is no cell service.  If no cell service, then we'll have an arrangement where I go ahead for 15 minutes (or whatever) and then return promptly, so that he knows if I'm not back in about 30 minutes (or whatever), something went wrong.

So it will be VERY nice to be away from work.  I hope to use the time to think about my yoga journey. (This little trip is why I don't have yoga 2x next week.)  There are other things I want to think about.  I hope Husband doesn't talk too much, so that I have time to think.  I'm also bringing my books to read, and my Gratitude Agenda too.  I'm looking forward to this.  

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/15/2021:
Get away sounds good! Nice break! Well deserved.

Hope work settles in soon. Wonder if they’ll get the big real estate agent? Always wished I had taken Spanish in hs & college instead of French. Useless & I had many Hispanic students in California.

Unfamiliar with that food, but bet I would like it. Not many exotic dining opportunities here.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
It is sounding like the Big Agent will give New Guy a chance. It will just take a little time to get started, but I think once it starts, hold on folks.

Husband was like, It hasn't even happened yet, and he's right, but my gut is telling me this WILL happen, and we should be prepared.


bearcountrygg on 09/15/2021:
How nice that you guys are going for a vacay!!! Sounds like it's a good thing that you didn't make a quick work decision...it will be interesting to see how this all plays out.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
Despite all of this new "buzzing" around the office with changes and stuff, after my self-realization over Labor Day, I've come to a comfortable spot where I'm at. It's really hard to explain, except that I know that no matter what happens, I'll be OK.


horn_of_plenty on 09/15/2021:
maybe do yoga 1x a week instead of 2!?...writing more later.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
I have been doing yoga 1x a week over Zoom with a live instructor. It's nice because the instructor will tailor the routine to my requests. For example, "My hips are sore, can we work on stretching those tonight?"

I thought I would try yoga 2x a week, because I was SO busy at work and getting SO stressed out. Taking Yin yoga 2x a week FORCES me to take a time-out from stress, weights, bike rides, everything and focus on my inner well-being.... except that then I feel stressed out because I'm missing out on weights, evening bike rides, etc. LOL....


horn_of_plenty on 09/15/2021:
i look forward to hearing about your upcoming trip!!! (once you've been on it!) def my style of a nice couple days away if i had a hubby. you can fake reading a book if you just want to sit in silence ;)

those authors of the (when to quit articles) also cater to what you wanna hear...i'm sure i would meet at least 1 of the article's scenarios too.

you do you. seems many are planning now on what to do once boss is "no longer boss."

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
LOL on the fake reading - now I'm *definitely* going to bring at least 1 book with me! JK - I will bring at least 1 book, just in case the opportunity rises. And if it doesn't, that's OK too.

That's a good point about the author conveying what readers want to read. I hadn't considered that, but I see your point, and I think it's valid.

Yes, I will do me. I'm actually finding myself feeling like I'm watching a soap opera or TV show. At first, my feelings were a little hurt, because I found that I was being excluded from conversations and input. Now, I'm just sitting back, thinking, Gee, what will happen on the next episode?

It helped my stress level tremendously to have a plan if the changes become either too much for me to endure or if I'm actively squeezed out. There's no one path to my plan, either. It has several options and choices.


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Donkey - Tuesday Sep 14, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Running short on time again - DANG IT.  I even had to cut short my morning weights because I just ran out of time, if I wanted to login to DD and comment and write.  Did 2 exercises instead of 3.  Oh well, that just means that tonight's session will be longer.  

Stayed up until just before 10p - that was my mistake.

Yoga, once it got started, was very nice... but I have to confess that I've just lost my focus with it.  I'm not sure if it's the yoga itself, if it's the type of yoga, if it's feeling stress from the time commitment, if it's the teacher, if it's because it's Zoom & not an in-person studio... I just don't know.  But it's not feeling the same as it has in the past.  I have yoga again on Thursday.

I've been eating more (fruits, vegetables, protein), in hopes (???) of building more muscle.  It feels odd.   Very odd.  

Oh that reminds me:  Anyone thinking of trying a frozen protein shake as a substitute for ice cream, DO NOT BOTHER with this.  Nope, not even a fudge-cicle like experience.  I consumed the 2 dishes I had frozen, but I will not do this again.

Thought for the Day:  It is easier to stay healthy than to get healthy.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/14/2021:
YOUR thought for the day is PERFECT!!!!! You did seem to enjoy yoga in person more.....good job with the eating...especially the protein....

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
Thank you! I feel that the increase in protein will help me build bigger muscles. I don't want BIG muscles per se, but looking for larger muscles to reduce the look of the flab.


Jacky82020 on 09/14/2021:
I need to try the frozen. Curious.

Maybe another kind of yoga? Can you do it alone at home, no classes?

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
Felt it again today with the yoga - it's just not feeling right, where I'm at, that is. Maybe I'll work on it on my own soon. I'll see if I have time this weekend to look into that.


horn_of_plenty on 09/14/2021:
the good thing is that you started the weights and did some, if not all! way to go on it.

well, try the yoga again one more time...you should have your mind made up by 2-3x trying again.

Like Bear, i couldn't agree more on your thought of the day!

Remember, you don't need to double up on proteins...but more vegetables never heart a person.

Donkey on 09/15/2021:
I have this week with yoga 2x and then the last week of September with yoga 2x a week. I'm already feeling the tightness of anxiety of having the time commitment tomorrow night (Thursday) for the 7pm class.


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Donkey - Monday Sep 13, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Short on time this morning so just a few thoughts:

  • Headache returned in the late afternoon, so had to take more meds, and then I was fine.  The key, for me, is to catch it early with the right drugs.  Advil doesn't help me with headaches.  Tylenol alone won't help erradicate the headache altogether, it just dulls the pain.
  •  
  • Yoga resumes tonight.  This week will be the first week of 2x a week.  I'm already "resenting" the free time that it will take up in my evenings, but logically, I know that I need to relax, and if this is a way to do it, then that's what I need to do.  But this is why it's a trial, to see how it works.
  •  
  • Had a good chat with Husband last night about finances.  This can be a hot topic, so it's good that we could talk about this calmly.
  •  
  • Focusing on myself this week at work.  Keeping quiet, working on preserving an inner calm that no one can touch.
  •  
  • Running errands at work, rather than taking a long walk.  I will take a short walk around the block before driving off, though, because a walk is very restorative and a priority for me. If I have enough time, I'll take another walk around the same block, after I return from my errands.

OK, time to get ready for the work day! 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/13/2021:
Hopefully those headaches will go away entirely. Do you get them often?

Smart to make yoga a trial in case it doesn’t work as well as you’d like.

Yea, walking outside good. Used to park car close to a mile away when I worked downtown. Had free parking in a garage next to the school too.

Donkey on 09/14/2021:
I should be more clear: Sunday was the only day that I had a headache. The fact that it lasted all day - masked by pain killers - tells me that it's sinus related. I don't headaches all that often.

Donkey on 09/14/2021:
I should be more clear: Sunday was the only day that I had a headache. The fact that it lasted all day - masked by pain killers - tells me that it's sinus related. I don't headaches all that often.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/13/2021:
what do you mean by replanting? for this year or for next?

it's easy to get itchy gardening. that has frequently happened to me at the farm. just in general, from weeding, usually. not necessary poison ivy, but i still have gotten itchy from touching the plans for so long a time period at once.

great job going to bed early last night! that was my plan but decided to stay up later, just relaxing, listening to tv, holding pigs ;)...not the best idea, but, early in the week so i can still stabilize my sleep somewhat (i am not the best on getting the right sleep all the time - i do not think most people are though?)

i've only had a really painful headache once. like jacky is mentioning, i hope you don't get them often...if you do you should get it checked..

.like you, i have always loved the mostly positive energy at gyms! so nice to watch people doing well; watch the regulars keep coming! it's motivating!

well, you may not be moving forward at work, but you have other burners that are on now. like your exercise, taking care of husband, and other things you do for yourself. you read, you have hobbies, you take care of pets. i do not feel that all burners of your life should be burning at the same time. it's give and take...and the new guy at work is just starting out...

Donkey on 09/14/2021:
I should be more clear: Someone dug up extra plants. I replanted them in my yard. The plants are done for the season, but the roots are still there, and if they have survived the replanting process, they should come up next year. They are perennials.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/13/2021:
replying to your comments today on my entry, you are right in that i agree to eat in and by itself. at work, i do not work while eating. i like to focus on the food and tasting it, etc. there's a man i work for; he is one of my bosses and everyone is basically my boss in this trailer, but he's basically the 2nd highest...he eats fast and eats while speaking to people...and never stops his work to relax. he has gained weight over the years as i am sure as a teenager he was sporty and fit. he actually is good with his portion sizes, considering he's over 6' tall and a big guy, big boned too - he has some muscle, not a skinny type. like i was saying, he must have been an athlete as a kid. his issue is never stopping to relax, not really focussed on eating. i assume at home he eats bigger portions. he may not realize what he's eating...bc at work he does pretty well, actually.


Jacky82020 on 09/14/2021:
Could it be allergens, Donk? Running amok around here Taking Cloroform Tabs. The 4-6 hr ones seem to work better for me than 24 hr’s


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Donkey - Sunday Sep 12, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

A late log-in for me here today, and that's fine.  In fact, I kind of changed my activities so that I would have not much to do in the afternoon.  If you commented on my recent, previous entries, I have commented.  I believe I'm caught up, except to find out which models of Schwinn recumbent bikes we have for Jacky.

I did replanting yesterday. Probably shouldn't have.  My back was complaining for the rest of the day.  Also, I had a hard time digging holes in our very hard, clay soil.  IDK, we'll see if any of the plants survive and come up next year.  

So it kept me active, but ouch!  AND, I must have brushed up against some kind of bad plant because the top of my right ankle itched like crazy.  Finally, I put some hand sanitizer on it, thinking the alcohol would act like an astringent, and that helped.

I came home from the gym (awesome upper body weights - getting stronger!!!), and Husband wanted to run a spontaneous errand.  I felt good, so I agreed to go with him, and I'm glad I did.  This will develop into something that perhaps we can do together.  I'll talk more about it, maybe, as it develops. Came home, and a nice dinner.  I went to bed early, which actually ended up being "just on time" at 9:45pm, as I made good progress on the books I'm reading.  A good day.


I woke up at 3:24am with a sharp headache.  Went back to sleep and when the alarm went off at 5:30am, had the same headache.  It feels like sinuses, so, after coffee and bike ride, I took some Tyelonol and a decongestant, which really helped.

I went to the gym this morning, before Daughter was awake, so that I was done, cleaned up, and back home, so that I could see her for about 10 minutes.  That was so nice :-)  Had a good leg day too - sad that not enough people are wearing masks - hopefully those folks are at least vaccinated.  As I left, it seemed as though more people WERE wearing masks.  I really do wish I could get to the gym more often than just on weekends.  It's slowly becoming my happy place.  It didn't bother me this morning that it was busier (except for the mask thing).  I enjoyed feeding off of other peoples' energy.  

While I was exercising, I realized that not only am I in a maintenance phase of weight-loss, but I am also in maintenance in my work life, too.  I commented on Friday that I see the under-attorneys doing things to improve their careers (example, taking tax preparer classes).  It makes me feel like I'm just a donkey stuck in her stall, but in truth, I'm putting it in neutral gear until I can figure out what my next step will be, and for now, that's OK.  If I don't come to a decision or impetus to get moving - this Donkey is inert - it WILL become uncomfortable for me.

I also came to the realization that with New Girl, I don't need to feel threatened or imposed upon  or anything like that, because I realize that she really doesn't want to work for anyone but New Guy.  She does not want my job.  She has zero interest in working for Boss or Associate Attorney.  So really, the less I have to do with her, the better it will be for me.  I will take Horn's advice and really work hard to hold my tongue and keep the conversation to a minimum with her.

I'm going to continue to work hard at keeping a balance at work, remaining calm and detached.  By doing this, it will help me to be more observant to the things & people around me and help me in my own journey forward.

 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 09/12/2021:
Yes, please let me know about your recumbent. The pricey spinner we have is a Schwinn. Need a step ladder to mount & it tugs at my hips. Never hardly use it. Couldn’t find a way in town to test drive any. Ordered online from California. Seller said ok for even very short ppl. Liar!

Glad you were able to tamp down that headache!

Seeing a few more masks here, not a whole lot.

Donkey on 09/13/2021:
Keep in mind that there's a difference between being a liar and being wrong. If the Schwinn salesperson isn't a short person him/herself, then there's really no way s/he could say for sure if the bike is proper for short people.

I had a similar experience with an elliptical machine. Saw the fancy ads for it on TV. Had the fortune to try it out at a local sporting goods store, and I'm SO glad that I did, because it did not fit me, and caused almost immediate back and shoulder strain.


KathyBlue on 09/12/2021:
Oh I read a lot of wisdom in this entry! Yay for the gym being a happy place! It is for me, too. While I ignore other people, I feel that I am being more accountable by their presence - if this makes sense? Although I enjoy working out anyways, for me it's much harder to get it done at home or outdoors - well, mostly because I'm a mess and my organizing skills are below zero, plus my home is a constant mess (not ideal for working out, to say the least, toys are everywhere, and many other things. It is a workout just to prepare a clean, wide area for an actual workout...). About the masks - we are not required to wear masks while working out. We have to keep distance (not always possible), and the monitors (staff) have to wear masks. We can take off the mask when we arrive to the gym area, and have to put it back when prepare for leaving for the locker room. As for the rest - BALANCE is key. I also feel wiser these days in that sense. I feel that I am taking no sh*t from nobody anymore. I'm more conscient than a few years back... While I also feel the need to have action in my life, I observe more from a certain distance and take better conclusions from that point. I don't rush into things anymore, I'm not taking leaps of faith that often. YAYYY, the blessed Forties!

Donkey on 09/13/2021:
Oh it DOES make sense to me! I'm not a mask Nazi, so I get it if you're on a cardio machine, you might not want to wear a mask. I'm only one of a few that do that. I'm talking about walking around the main lobby, the locker room, the grand stairway from 1st level to 2nd. Come on people, we can do better.

Taking no sh*t -- LOVE THIS.


KathyBlue on 09/12/2021:
By the way, how did you manage to get on the bike with a sharp headache? That's a great willpower! OMG when I have the headache / migraine I can't do basic things. Exercising would kill me I'm positive...

Donkey on 09/13/2021:
The coffee helped me until I could take meds. I don't know if I could have done any other kind of exercise, other than sitting on a recumbent bike, drinking coffee...


bearcountrygg on 09/12/2021:
Sounds like a pretty good day...except for the headache..I always hope that when i go to bed with a headache...that it will be gone when I wake up....but that rarely happens. If the sinus meds worked than most likely that's it. I massage my forehead when i have a sinus headache and it makes it drain easier...I can always depend on horseradish to get things moving too.

Donkey on 09/13/2021:
Same - which is why it was so odd that it was still there when I woke up. That's what made me think it was sinuses.

The headache came back in the late afternoon. Started getting short and cross with my Husband. Ran upstairs and grabbed the Tylenol and decongestant. After that kicked in, it was a pleasant evening :-)


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Donkey - Saturday Sep 11, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

One of the joys about the weekend is that, even if my mornings start off the same, I don't have to rush.  So what I would have pushed to do in 15 minutes took me 45 minutes today.  Woke up slower, got out of bed slower, got dressed slower, made my coffee slower, etc.  OK, yes, there was the weigh-in, but that really didn't take all that long to delay my timeline. It was just a slower morning.

It's going to be a hot one here today - I'm hearing high of 90F and hazy.  I'm hoping maybe it's the last of the hot weather...  So I will be doing some pulling of plants, and replanting others that I received for free (sage and cone flowers, for bees next year).  

Also, public television is airing all of its "Cake" episodes from the seasons of Great British Baking show that they still own the rights to.  Isn't that just grand?  I'd much rather lose myself in cake baking, rather than focusing on the sadness and frustrations over 9/11.  (I'm having a very hard time with that today; I'd much rather focus on something delightful and happy.)  I think there's 5 episodes of cake baking.  Lovely!

I also have the gym today, on the agenda.  My husband is taking in electronics recycling today.  I'd like to read more of my library books too.


I've had a much better week at work too.  I'm sure it was due to the time alone I had over Labor Day weekend.  It is also better to be not so quite as busy.  Mostly, though, I feel that it's been a change in my inner attitude, knowing that for now, I'm where I need to be.

There have been a couple of startling changes at work, that on the surface, don't affect me much.

  • The Boss is having New Guy & Associate Attorney enroll in HR Block tax preparing classes, so that they can prepare tax returns.  (Meaning:  the Boss won't be preparing tax returns in the future.)
  • Associate Attorney is getting his real estate broker's license.  (Meaning:  Not sure yet.  This was his own idea, from what Nice Lady says.  This was not prompted by the Boss.  However, the Boss is a real estate broker - owns his own real estate agency - and so maybe that's what Associate Attorney is leaning towards emulating.)

So other people ARE making plans to prepare for future changes, it would seem.  Donkey is not.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/11/2021:
You do sound so much more relaxed and I'm sure that is making you time at work more enjoyable.......... I sold real estate back in the 80's........so different from the way it all happens today...so much safer for the agents.....( I ended up in some scary situations with clients I didn't know and now feel lucky to even be alive......) We didn't even have cell phones back then....so no way to call for help. A coworker always carried a gun......it is a much safer thing to do now days....and they can see things online first so there is a lot less showing houses that they would never want....basically they are halfway sold when they go see them now. PLUS....it's a great time to sell with houses selling for over asking price on day 1 so often.......

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
Funny you mention this, because the Women's Realtor group that Associate Attorney belongs to just had their monthly meeting, and the topic/presentation was "Realtor Safety" taught by a self-defense guy. I didn't attend, but AA posted snippets of video from the talk.

Frankly, at least in this area, open houses aren't really effective any more - and like you mentioned, not really needed in this market.

It can be difficult to maintain this "relaxed" or "calm" mentality at work, but it worked for me last week, and I'm going to keep working on keeping this up.


Jacky82020 on 09/11/2021:
Donkey can when Donkey wants!

I saw some cake TV shows. Were those things even edible? Beautiful!

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
My Husband just told me today that Cake Boss is a completely fake show. I've never watched it, but good to know.


bearcountrygg on 09/11/2021:
I think your idea to kathy is terrific...I may just try that one myself.

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
Thank you! Coming to that suggestion made me realize that I will do that for myself too! In fact, that probably should have been my very first sentence written in the agenda.


Maria7 on 09/11/2021:
I answered your question to my yesterday's post on there in case you want to read it. Looks like you have reached a place of peace regarding your job and not expecting more nor less but hoping for the best. Honestly that all any of us can do in all situations, I think. I hope you have a good day.

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
Not that I want COVID, but I was sort of thinking, jokingly, to myself, that I could do with having a dulled sense of taste for a little bit. I wouldn't be so eager to eat (as much).

It would be interesting to see if you ever regain ALL of your accustomed tastes, e.g. diet Coke, or if somethings will never taste the same again.


horn_of_plenty on 09/11/2021:
Write you a comment on your Thursday entry :)

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
Responded! :-)


KathyBlue on 09/12/2021:
I learned that while it's good to be busy at work because time tends to fly when we have something to do, and also it proves that we are needed and our salaries are justified, it's also good to have those not too busy, lazier days. I had a crazy week and it got improved from Thurs to Fri, and I haven't done too much on Friday itself. I just felt the steam was going off, and I just occupied myself doing cleaning and maintenance stuff.

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
I think we had a series of 4 weeks that were just *brutal*. At the end of each week, Friday, I would mention this to co-workers, who completely agreed to me. I think things have settled down. There's busy and then there's TOO busy. When we're TOO busy, the flaws in our organizational system become magnified: mistakes, allocation of workload, certain attitudes, etc.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/12/2021:
Also wrote you back now on Friday; will come back here later to catch up on Saturday/Sunday. :)

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
Responded! :-)


Horn_of_plenty on 09/12/2021:
same thing here, warmer. i think yeseterday was the 86? and today 84F. so not too hot, actually, here. Summer comes back!

so you are replanting now? I want to plant an elephant ear plant in front of my building for next year. i will need to look this up - so i can see it grow next year! :) being that i will be a longtime resident here, i would love to plant some things in front of the building - neighbors would not mind. i have another neighbor who gardens and plants flowers. it would be nice to do something for the building!

I took a pic of the outside only of the cake i was given from my parents for my bday. i should have got an inside pic too; it had some really nice mouse along with dark choc cake and a raspberry jelly filling! they did it last year, too. amazing choice.

maybe associate attorney, i forgot his age, will try to acquire boss' business?

Donkey on 09/12/2021:
I replanted only because someone had given away plants she had dug up to thin out her own garden. Ideally, this would have been done earlier on in the season. I'm not sure any of these will actually take, but we'll see. Won't that be interesting to see next Spring?

I hadn't thought about it, but maybe Associate Attorney would be interested in buying the brokerage - or at least the name. Hmm...


Jacky82020 on 09/12/2021:
I heard most if not all of those reality shows are scripted fakes!


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