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Donkey - Tuesday Jan 29, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

A quick entry before I leave for work this cold, cold Chicago morning...  And tomorrow will be even colder!

Last night, still feeling the satisfying ache from the previous heavier weight training episode, I had an epiphany that this approach (heavier weights) is the right path for me.  Hard to explain it, but just had this overall feeling that I summarized in a statement to myself, "Yes, this is the right path." I just wish I could have these "God moments" when it came to bigger things in life - relationships, jobs, children, moving, aging, etc.

I've decided, just now, that February (along with this last week in January, since February is a short month) will be a "test run" of what heavier weights can do for me.  I want to see where I'm at, physically, at the end of February, and then re-evaluate.  So this will be a fun challenge for myself.


The colder temperatures and all the snow that came on Monday make walking at lunchtime very difficult.  As a result, I've been taking longer bike rides in the evening - also because I'm watching a TV series that has episodes that run about 55 minutes.  After the cold leaves Chicago, we will have rain, which is not helpful either.


I've been having back spasms in the morning, when I ride my easy bike.  As you may recall, the purpose of riding the bike is just to limber up my legs, back, etc., while I watch the morning news and catch up on social media on my phone.  These are little twinges that say "Hey! I'm here!"  My fear is that these twinges will develop into something worse, as what happens some times.  I'm not sure if this is due to all the shoveling, or lifting the heavier weights (nooooo!), or stress (?), or just my back reminding me that it can ruin my life any time it feels like it.  

I'm almost wondering if I should take a Flexerall to work with me, to take at work, to help my muscles relax.  I would take the pill at work, after I've driven there.  I guess if I fall asleep, I can just take a nap on the boss' couch, since he's not around.  That's not really good to do, though, with all the sharks I work with.  IDK, my main concern is that these twinges don't lead to another misalignment with my hips and spine.  Can't do that again...

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/29/2019:
Which TV series are you watching? Sorry to hear about the spasms; could it be your alignment on the bike? When you check social media while riding, do you tend to sit upright rather than having your hands at the handlebars? That might increase tension to your lower back. I always have to change position on the bike every few minutes because my back also gives me issues when i'm riding.

Donkey on 01/30/2019:
Confessions of a Serial Killer: Ted Bundy -- on Netflix. There's only 4 episodes, unfortunately. I find true crime stories to be fascinating.

My bike is a recumbent bike, so I am always sitting back, against the back support. I took some CBD drops yesterday, and the spasms stopped. I had no spasms today.

The thing about my back is that if I can catch it right when it starts acting up, and address whatever it is that's bothering it, I'm usually almost always 100% good to go. It's when I ignore it or don't notice/think/catch it early on that I run into HUGE problems.


horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2019:
we are getting a "cold snap" but nowhere near as cold as by you...it will pass :)

The God Moments may be few and far between but they have a tendency sometimes to leak (in a good way) from one part of your life into another. is your son still set to go back to ... air force was it? i keep forgetting the branch.

GREAT idea for February test run on the weights...keep on, you will not be disappointed. ..i know it's hard this time of year to muster up the energy to get weights into your routine. I'm struggling at work to remain awake and wondering how i'll pull it off tonight. ...but i will try. :) ......

Donkey on 01/30/2019:
Right? I do not think I will be disappointed either!!! Just gotta get over that number on the scale. This is where my fancy Ironman scale will come in handy, because it measures muscle and fat percentages. I'm hoping that will be something to be proud of!


horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2019:
nice job to incorporate a little extra biking to counteract less walking! I was trying to walk outside and did both Friday and Monday coming home from work but Wednesday will also be too cold in NY to do it - i plan to rest...hoping to make it to Friday and feel ok then - have another planned lunch date with the same man.

my first guess is back spasms from stress. Next guess is from shoveling.

listen to your body and don't overdo.

remember all the shoveling is exercise...


Horn_of_plenty on 01/30/2019:
Stay warm and think positive thoughts, this cold shall pass!!!



Donkey - Monday Jan 28, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Fortunately, my muslces are not too sore this morning.  I have that pleasant ache in my inner thighs - the area I want to target!   Therefore, I was able to handle shoveling this morning - although I had to come in and yell "I need help!" So my son ended up coming out to help me shovel half of the driveway.  So thankful for him.  Next year he will be gone, so we'll have to think of a plan B for sure.

Anyway, there was about 6-7 inches of snow.  Not too wet/dense (thank you, Jesus!) , but because there was so much, it was somewhat heavy to lift and heave over the already existing snowbanks.  I *did* notice that my upper left arm was still a bit sore from where I had the tetanus shot.  There was 2 feet of snow in the street though from the half-done job the city snowplow did.  So I had to flatten enough for my little car to pull out, because something like that I would definitely get stuck.   That would be worse than going into work late.  Male Co-Worker barely made it to work and texted me to stay home until the roads are cleared out better. So I plan to leave around 10am or so.  

My next heavy weight-training will Tuesday or Wednesday.  If I catch myself at certain angles in the mirror, I think I see a nice muscle cut between the shoulders and bicep/tricep, but then when I turn front, I cannot see it any more.  That's OK, with CONSISTENT heavier weights, it will come.

Hopefully, with work to keep me busy, I can keep my appetite in check today.  I was glad for the extra energy from the nuts yesterday, but would rather not make this a habit.


A few years ago, when I was doing South Beach Diet (basically low-carb), it came to January and I fell off hard with binge eating cashews (not recommended).  I think that as long as I live in a colder winter climate, I should realize that in January, I crave more nuts, and learn to accept this and adjust, rather than to fight it and then fail/fall.  Perhaps I should consider adding smaller portions of nuts every day, during the winter.

Going into Spring, I would have a slightly higher weight, but that would come off during the warmer months.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/28/2019:
Just got myself caught up on your weights journey :)

I feel like you could go either way if you are having trouble with form when you're lifting heavier - you could lessen the weight and continue as you were, or you could lessen the reps and try to get 8 or even 6 instead with good form. I would never compromise form, so whatever you need to do to make sure you're performing each exercise with integrity of form, that's what you should do!

Donkey on 01/29/2019:
I agree - I do not think there is anything wrong with using a lighter weight, proper form, and higher reps. The results will just be different.

And something is better than nothing.


horn_of_plenty on 01/28/2019:
don't give yourself such a high expectation always lady!!!! i am no pioneer either. i prefer to follow the path others have set, always. however, that being said, i am forging ahead as best as i can :)

well, your son is here now, thankfully! glad he helped you! everyone cannot believe the temps and snow you guys are getting in Chicagoland!

Yes, leave when the roads are more clear and take your time ;) safety is more important than being exactly on time to work, for sure!!!

yes, i am sure the results are starting to show, for sure! how long have you been at it on and off, like a year? or more?

yeah, my appetite came back yesterday ugh! not enough protein and fat i think, too many carbs also...revved up my appetite...you know, when you overload the carbs at one meal, you just want more at the next which is what happened for me into today.

same here, it's def harder in the Winter months with weight...but it does usually come off by the end of summer.

Winter is def the hardest. but you are 35% complete lady with Winter!

Donkey on 01/29/2019:
it's really hard to say how long I've been doing weights because it's been so on/off. I seem to go through spurts of maybe 6-8 weeks and then I quit for about the same amount of time or longer.

I started up with the lighter weights again this month.

I do not know if it's the winter lighting (with the sun) or just the colder temps. Cold and dark are not conducive to keeping one's appetite in check. It's biology, I'm afraid.


horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2019:
yes, the cold plus the days of longer darkness are definitely not a stimulus towards weight loss. I hear you on that. we can do what we can, but we should also know that during these periods our bodies may need more sleep, rest, and self care....



Donkey - Sunday Jan 27, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Last night was my first attempt at making a keto pizza, and I think it went pretty well.  My daughter and my husband said that I should have used more sauce, but I thought it was just fine the way it was.  I would definitely make that again.  Everyone was happy and satisfied with Family Pizza Night.

However... then "something bad" happened.  Not really bad, but definitely not ideal.  As you may recall, Saturdays have been my "relax" day - not cheat, but just increased carbs if you will.  In the freezer, I had a bag of frozen banana slices that's been sitting in there for a few months.  Bananas are really high in carbs, but my daughter eats them regularly in her meals.  However, if they get "too brown" in her sensitive opinion (I think - LOL), I slice them up and freeze them to use at a later date, either as a substitute for oil in making a boxed cake mix or in the summertime, blending them up to make "ice cream".  They can also be used in my daughter's smoothies, if she could get past the "too brown".

Anyway, so I've had this bag in the freezer that this weekend had been calling my name.  After dinner, I sat down to watch TV with my daughter before going out to shovel AGAIN -- and ate the whole bag!  Yikes!  There were at least 3 bananas, maybe 4.  Talk about carb overload!  Might as well have had a small chocolate milkshake from McDonalds - YES!

The thing with working a keto plan though is that once your blood sugar levels spike like that, you have to work to get back into the metabolic ketosis state again, which can be difficult.  I'm feeling it this morning.  Very difficult to prolong any kind of overnight fasting, cravings, etc.  So I'm back on track today, but I have a lot of mixed feelings about the bananas.  "Planned binge"?  Probably.  Don't like it when any type of excessive eating happens. 

You may think I'm being too hard on myself.  After all, "cheating" with bananas?  That's a valid argument to make, I think.  I could rationalize it by saying that it's not "that bad" because bananas have additional nutritional value, so this wasn't the  same as eating complete junk.  I would admit that there's truth to that as well.  And on the PLUS side, any and all bathroom issues reconciled, which is always a wonderful thing.

So anyway, that was Saturday night.  Today is Sunday, back on track.  Hopefully, I will feel motivated enough to try the heavier weights today.  In fact, that's what I'll do right now is set those up.


EVENING EDIT:  Probably not a good idea to do a heavier weights workout the day before a huge snow storm.  My muscles have been feeling fatigue for most of the day.  I've struggled with appetite, between the fatigue and coldness in the house.  

Ate what was probably too many nuts today again, but not a binge.  Just more than I should have had.

Going to do my best to get to bed early tonight, as I will set an earlier alarm to allow for shoveling time tomorrow morning.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/27/2019:
A happy digestive state is worth a couple of bannanas.

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
I'll give a big AMEN to that - It's very uncomfortable when I'm off.


happy-1 on 01/27/2019:
And as my nutritionist would say, if you are hungry enough to eat a bag of bananas, you were actually hungry and your body is telling you it needs more food/calories than you are giving it.

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
THANK YOU!!!!!


happy-1 on 01/27/2019:
And she’d applaud you for eating an unprocessed food. Look how far you have come... you thought nothing of eating ice cream cake leftovers that had been in the fridge forever, but instead you treated yourself well and had a favorite frozen treat

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
Well, there's that truth too. Thank you for helping me see the glass as "half full". It is my regret that I couldn't do that on my own initiative, so I appreciate you steering me in the right direction. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!


Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
i agree with what you wrote on happy's diary entry about ok to cheat on keto / diets...lol....you are either following it or not...i cannot cheat either. i prefer it to be my lifestyle and that's it...not one day this and one day that...!


Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
well, now the bananas are now in the past!!! in the future, you can also have some other fruit mixed with the bananas...or a greek yogurt iwth bannaas....

instead of eating all of one thing, try to say, ok, i'm having some of that banana...and mix it with some things...

or have a decaf coffee or two with the bananas...you were probably hungry and tired from all the shoveling...i totally can see that. it's hard when doing that type of exercise in winter!

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
Those are options to think about. I didn't even think to consider mixing up the frozen bananas with something else. I could have put the bananas in a bowl (portion control) rather than eat them out of the bag.

Truth is, I think I wanted them to be gone, more than anything else. I mean, I had a craving, but I didn't want to revisit that again.

The cold weather is really playing with me. I gotta be stronger than this. I *AM* stronger than this. I'd suck as a pioneer...



Donkey - Saturday Jan 26, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

Weigh-in Thoughts:  Once again, it happened:  stopped working out with weights, weight goes down.  I got my "wish" to lose that little bit of weight to make it an even "60 pounds lost" on my stats - which makes my OCD-self happy.  Logical Donkey has mixed feelings though.

At this age in my life, I truly believe that some kind of weight-training NEEDS to be incorporated into my life, because I'm getting older (almost 50) and am at that point where I need to be preserving bone and muscle mass.  Plus, increased muscle mass will help with keeping my metabolism higher, fight against sagging skin, etc.  Lots of benefits - at the expense of seeing higher numbers on the scale.  I gotta keep working on this in my head, because it's hard to accept.

Because weights are really non-negotiable, though, my plan is to start weights again, with higher weights.  I can't do as many reps though, and frankly, using a higher weight taxes my joints to the point where form is compromised.  Any thoughts or input?

  • Even increasing from 8lb dumbbells to 10lb dumbbells causes problems.

Tried a 90-Second Keto bread recipe this morning which was actually OK.  This was my breakfast, but I shared some of it with my husband, to try, to see if he liked it too.  He did like it, but wanted to sweeten it up with syrup, which defeats the whole "keto" thing.  Might be able to add some Swerve and cinnamon and/or nutmeg.  Haven't tried the Walden brand maple syrup because I've heard mixed reviews.  Gains says it's pretty good...  I keep forgetting to look for it in the store.

Both kids are home tonight, so we're having pizza for dinner.  I bought a take-n-bake cheese pizza from Aldi and pepperoni, so that some of it can have meat, and some can be vegetarian.  I planned to have this over the weekend anyway, so that I would have time to make my own keto pizza with "fathead dough".  This will be my first try at making a keto-friendly pizza, so I'm looking forward to this.


This year is the Year of My Remodel, an idea which I borrowed from the office manager who works for the clinic of the 1st floor of my office.  She had weight loss surgery a year or so ago and mentioned this year, she would be working on toning up before she made any further decisions about skin removal.  

I kind of envy her because she is essentially forced to eat properly, because of the surgery.  If she does not eat correctly, she gets very sick.  IDK where I'm going with this, but sometimes I get so sick of the struggle to eat in a balanced way that it would be nice to have the eating struggle taken out of the equation.  

This got me to thinking how I STILL struggle - mentally, emotionally - with my numbers even now.  I want to be under 130.  I want to lose a nice round number of pounds, e.g. "60 pounds lost".  I want thin thighs.  I want to be able to lift weights and still see a pleasing number on the scale.  Crazy Donkey wishes she was reckless enough to get liposuction to remove some of the inner thigh fat - part of her German heritage, thank you Nana B.  On the other hand, Logical Donkey does her bookkeeping and realizes what a superficial use of her family's financial resources this would be.  PLUS, then I hear about things going really wrong, and I think, "Oh my, all for the sake of vanity!"


EVENING EDIT:  Decided to hold off on a real edit until tomorrow, so I wrote some comments below.  Going to go to bed at a decent hour tonight, instead of indulging in watching the old Perry Mason mysteries.  Shoveled TWICE this evening and it's still snowing...  And this isn't even the Big Snow we're supposed to wake up to on Monday morning...

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
I commented below on your last couple entries....and since this entry is asking for specific advice and input, my plan is to work that out later for you! :)

Donkey on 01/26/2019:
Queen Bee always seems to go on a diet when she has a vacation coming up. We'll see how long this one lasts.


Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
if using a higher weight is compromising your form, in general you should continue the lower weight.

i have a few exercises where i prefer to compromise my form, but, in general the more logical way is to keep your form, not just up the weight.

there are better sugar free maple syrups from amazon. you can also make your own sweeteners / syrups from sites like that woman i follow...Maya...i forget the name of her keto page.

i found an "Oprah" cauliflower pizza in the freezer isle and bought it, although, i'm not impressed with the calories. it's a large size that you cannot eat all at once. I plan to make it tomorrow and bring it to work i guess for a few days next week.

i know i can also make the pizza all on my own...

i can't wait to see how yours turns out!

you can always keep forging ahead and doing your best. you should work to love yourself and all you have already achieved.

part of "the struggle" is finding distractions and other things in life to want to achieve so that those become the focus and the food thing goes to a more of a backburner approach.

i think i got to my goal weight a hair before you did, so i think i've been working at maintenance longer.

i have to tell you, i still rely on veggies for the times i want to feel really full.

i also have to tell you that i def eat more veggies in comparison to the regular person and it's my diet and type of eating i've learned which keeps me at this weight.

i'm not this weight without practice and learning.

just keep it interesting, so you don't get bored.

stay happy...that's most important and realize that life is short, so, try to stop wishing for things that may not be for you...and be happy with the things you have achieved so far.

you are, by looks and weight, in a better place from when you started.

but those are just the outer dimension of yourself. being a peace with yourself and having a positive self image is on the inside and that's an emotional thing to work on :)

the obsession and ocd with a number on the scale is just a habit you go to, to think about, to take your mind off of other things...

Donkey on 01/26/2019:
I did not get a chance to do weights today, so I will try again tomorrow. I truly am going to give the heavier weights a shot.

Yes, you're right about the scales and the numbers --- I think I write about them here so that I do not have to carry around those thoughts with me. Does that make sense?

A LOT of people doing keto don't lose weight -- or it takes FOREVER but they lose inches. I think it will give me a leaner appearance, which was the whole point to begin with :)


happy-1 on 01/26/2019:
Reading this, I want to make you come with me to this nudist trailer resort out here. A couple of weeks in the sun and feeling good in your body and you will never look at anything in your life the same way again.

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
I think warm sun fixes everything... Why am I still living in Illinois?

I think you're right about such an experience being life-changing.


Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
Happy's comment = 100% accurate :)


Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
oh, and i've forcasted queen bee's diet to end once she's on vaca :)

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
RIGHT????? I wish she'd just stop this half-assed craziness and love herself the way she is.


Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
it's fine you share the scale here :) i TOTALLY understand what you mean by getting it out, sharing it somewhere, so it's not just stuck all day in your head! yes, i get it!!!

don't be afraid to use the higher weights. it will feel hard at first, but as long as you can get in 8 reps, stick with it.

also, if you do the 3 sets, you can do 2 sets higher weights with the third set the lower weight....until you are more comfortable.

just mix and match.

as for going up in weights, i generally have been at the same levels all year. right now i'm at the very weak end myself, def still just trying to lift my usual weights and with some challenges at the moment.

don't be afraid of the weights. stick to your diet, do not increase food just because you are lifting. more water, more light drinks will help you feel full, herbal teas, decaf coffee.

after a year of weights, you will automatically look a little better from where you started <3

my generation knows weights are good. my mom's generation (20 years older than you), for the most part didn't learn it...too bad on her, as she used to be afraid and tell me i was looking to big...but in my head before i reached where i am now, because of all the women i followed and research i did online, i knew one day i would be capable of getting to where i am now, and not look anything like a man :) since it's not possible based on chemistry of a woman. :)

Donkey on 01/27/2019:
Very good advice which I plan on taking! One concern is that using the higher weight brings about muscle fatigue which can sometimes trigger a larger appetite. It's a mixed signal in my brain, to combat the fatigue with food. So I will be mindful to keep my intake consistent.

However, even with my light weights, I was brushing my teeth the other day, and happened to have my arm flexed at a 90-degree angle, and I was like, "Whoa, really NICE muscle definition there!"

So it's happening.


Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2019:
do you have any advice on the streaming? and you don't have cable because you share from your phone??? how does internet work at your home? or, do you pay for internet only, just no tv??



Donkey - Friday Jan 25, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Quite tired today.  I had enough work to keep me working throughout the day, with about 3 things -- all to be done by the end of business today -- coming in right before 5pm.  Isn't that nice?  People are so freakin' rude.  Not just clients - although this was one of them.  Too rich and too young to have consideration for other people's work schedules - even the Associate Attorney said that.  But today I was getting grief from other attorneys' offices too.  And don't even get me started on lenders.  I swear, it felt like I had been arguing with people via email all. day. long. 

Then somehow I started getting drawn into it with Queen Bee and Male Co-Worker.  Oh no, I'm not going down that path again.  Stood up for myself to Male Co-Worker and stopped talking to Queen Bee.

So glad it's Friday...  I'm apprehensive -- too much so, perhaps -- about tomorrow's weigh-in.  Haven't been walking as much during the day because of the really cold temperatures.  "Feels like -28F" this morning.  How the heck do we know what -28F feels like or should feel like?  I think it was -1F when I went outside at around 2pm, just to go around the block.  Yes it was cold.

Because of the cold, I don't have much planned to do outside of the house, but I do have some more keto recipes to try.  One is for 90-second bread.  The other is to make a keto pizza, with a fathead pizza crust.  However, I do not do well with unstructured time.  I suppose what I should do is try to tackle some of those decluttering projects.  Oh my...  Actually one of the things I was going to do was to start up a new weight training circuit with the heavier weights and an extra set.  

Well, I will think about that tomorrow.  I'm getting ready for bed and going to curl up with Harry Potter #3 until it's lights out. 

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/26/2019:
Or just take a nap...


Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
Yes, my neighbor told me how cold it is today in Chicago-land! i can't believe the weather you are getting this winter! so much snow and cold that has mysteriously and miraculously stayed out of NYC!?

I'm glad it's friday too! :)

i would also stay in if it were that cold. take your rest and watch Harry Potter. sounds like a plan!

and if you are tired, I think Happy's advice works well, too.



Donkey - Thursday Jan 24, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

 Logging in on my phone...

Fasting for blood work this morning was not painless but not impossible.   On the way home,  I toyed with the idea of prolonging the fast to see how long I could go,  but as soon as I got to work,  I made myself a coffee with heavy cream and had my delicious breakfast bar. 

I would very much like to eat now,  at the end of the day,  but this is more munchies than actual hunger.  As I was filling up my water bottle,  I thought,  Life is too short to fast.  Why not eat something (now)?  Why am I still doing this? Who cares if I'm fat or fit?  I quickly left the kitchen and came upstairs to get ready for bed - YIKES!

As I was in the shower,  I thought,  It is probably a good thing I took this week off from weight training because my arm is sore from the tetanus shot I got from this morning.  I plan to resume this weekend,  when it's too cold to do anything else,  and take up the advice I received from legcramps. 


Of course,  the REALLY big news today is that Queen Bee has joined Weight Watchers....

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2019:
how on earth am i sooo behind on your entries!? sorry!

you will feel better soon from that shot! :) maybe also take a pain killer so it's not such a nuisance!

next, queen bee is not on WW!? wow. she's a Pro-Dieter...as in, she's just always on a new plan, huh!? i see failure in her future! lol



Donkey - Wednesday Jan 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Woke up super early so that I'd have enough time to shovel after riding my bike.  Oh my, there was like 6 inches of snow and this time it was heavier and wetter than the snow we had over the weekend.  I'm running out of room to putt the extra snow, so not only was I pushing the snow to the sides, but then I had to lift and throw it.  That was like a whole 2nd workout - and when I stopped, it was still snowing out, so the kids had to shovel again around noon when the snow finally stopped.

When I woke up, I couldn't believe that I "felt" hungry -- after all those almonds and cashews???  But that went away quickly, so I don't think it was true hunger.  The extra calories didn't bother me because of the energy I exerted while shoveling.  I think though that, like Gains mentioned, nuts are going to be something that I just can't keep in the house in bulk.  IDK, I have bags of unsalted almonds and then walnuts, and those I haven't been eating very often - mostly because of bathroom issues -- but this cannister of salted almonds, etc., is just too hard to resist.  The fact that it came from my mom probably has something to do with it as well.

So even though I'm in maintenance - sort of - I'm still a train wreck when it comes to food issues.

Tomorrow morning, it's plain water and black coffee until I get blood drawn.  Yuck... that's going to be difficult.


One last thing -  If I could please just maintain at one pound LESS, so that I've lost an even 60 pounds, rather than this "59" thing that's just hanging out there.  Gotta keep trying...

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2019:
maybe plan to have some pick me up after the appointment. like something that will help you...nothing too big...then a bigger meal later after that. when i wait very long periods to eat and then i eat big, i get very, very tired. try to plan to make it work out best :)

even if in maintenance, we still have to try and plan for the difficult days. it's Winter, lots of snow...more to take care of lately.

i know what you mean about it not being true hunger. today i think i was hungrier than usual, also because of being tired but not actually hungry.

yeah, i know what you mean with the nuts. i had days where even around peanut butter was a disaster. I'm so glad i've improved myself to overcome temptation by having so many options around that work in my plan!


Horn_of_plenty on 01/24/2019:
good luck today with your blood work! take it easy and remember that you'll be extra hungry afterwards!

interestingly, by me, we don't have to completely fast anymore for the blood work! they say a light meal is ok at my dr's! interesting, right!?

talk soon! :) you can do this. i know the doctors are stressing you! you'll feel better when it's all done xo


legcramps on 01/24/2019:
I hear lots of places are getting or have gotten a good dump of snow lately. Thankfully, we haven't here YET. I'm sure it is only a matter of time, but i'll be thankful if it stays away until the weekend, when I might actually have some extra time to clean it up. I hope your appointment goes well today!



Donkey - Tuesday Jan 22, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

I came home early today, because they were forecasting icy roads, possibly snow, etc.  So I left work at 3pm-ish, got home at 3:30p, only to find that the driveway was an ice rink and nobody bothered to put ice on the driveway.  Great.  So when I finally came inside, I was a little crabbier than I would have liked.

So there was nothing to do... and I think I was feeling a little guilty for leaving work early, but I had just had it, and there was very little left for me to do.  I will be busy or busier tomorrow, and that's actually probaby a good thing.  My plan was to come home and walk on the treadmill, since I didn't take a lunch, but rather tacked on my hour lunchtime onto the end of the day, so that I'm only out 1 hour, instead of 2.  Plus I didn't want to walk on the icy roads/sidewalks PLUS at 12:30p, I found that I was the only person left in the office!  People either left or hadn't come in at all!  So I stayed indoors.

Came home, crabby, as I said above, and couldn't get motivated to get on that treadmill.  So what did I do?  I ate a bunch of salted almonds and cashews that my mom got us in this HUGE tin container for Christmas.  (Yes, still working away at that.)   Ate way too many, but didn't realize it until after the fact, when I started drinking water.  Oof! 

Got on the treadmill though and did a great 60 minutes.  I wish I could do that every day.

So now it's dinnertime and my tummy feels so gross.  And I imagine that I will have some bathroom issues to come...  It makes me think that I should have just stayed at work.  VERY SAD.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/22/2019:
Hugs. Sounds like you need some fun and to get the household to pitch in. If momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.


graindart on 01/23/2019:
Nuts. They're on my list of things I have to avoid buying in bulk. I have no desire to eat a normal portion size of roasted nuts. "My" portion size for nuts is usually 4 or 5 times the suggested portion size. I've tried buying the packages with single serving 100 calorie bags in them, but it's depressing. I don't know the exact number, but it seems like each 100 calorie bag contains like 5 nuts.......

Donkey on 01/23/2019:
Yep, this is going to have to be me too. Not good.


horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2019:
so now i'm caught up on all your entries! lots of nice reading on your diary entries, J donk! so positive. you seem to have broken out of any rut and you are doing really well! I'm proud and happy for you.

don't feel guilty going home early. ...you work a ton ;)

even though you indulged, it's nice to read you got on the treadmill and got the exercise in! that's good...it means you can get your mind off the indulgence. it's a HUGE improvement to the days when a binge would totally crush you (or me).

As a reminder, J donk, you indulged bc of unstructured time and emotions. That's something i have trouble with too.

Next time, try to plan for it better...have veggies or pick them up...have seltzer...have a snack planned so you don't want to eat so many nuts...

instead of just saying "VERY SAD," know in your head that you can use this to do better NEXT TIME.

i wasn't perfect on my vaca....but i also didn't let one bad day turn into a loss for the rest of the trip.

it's important for you to remember where you came from, that you DO know how to plan and make good choices.

remember that you are now more at maintenance than struggling and that hating yourself for making one mistake is hurtful.

remember to LOVE YOURSELF :)

you just had an excellent dr appt a few days ago ;) it's not all "VERY SAD!"

<3 xoxo

Donkey on 01/23/2019:
Yes 100% correct. I even knew when I typed "VERY SAD" that this is not what I wanted to say -- sounds too much like someone ELSE who posts too often on Twitter. You're correct - NEXT TIME.

And actually, as it turned out, it wasn't such a bad thing this time either. I'll write a little bit about this tonight.


Horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2019:
who's the negative twitter person? i hope not you?!


Horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2019:
i also used to have a huge problem with nuts. but doing far better with these issues lately!



Donkey - Monday Jan 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Good morning to all -- very cold here this morning, which I suspect is the main reason for lack of any motivation to go to work this morning, but I am ever so grateful that I seem to be feeling more myself this morning.  One problem with keto is that it can play with one's digestive system, and it's been a rough couple of weeks.  Ah I bet it was the kale I ate yesterday!

My morning cardio was not as brisk as usual.  I seem to be dragging.  I think this week, I will set my bike on an easier level, all this week.  Glad I did weights (upper and lower body) yestserday. 

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

graindart on 01/21/2019:
Cold here today. Will probably only venture out for a little bit to do the weekly grocery shopping. Other than that, just planning on enjoying a down day with the family.


happy-1 on 01/23/2019:
Hugs. You're my hero.


horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2019:
How did you make the kale? sauteed?

NICE JOB ON WEIGHTS!

one of my coworkers is doing a routine i gave her...love hearing women doing weights.

oh, it's soooo worth it!



Donkey - Sunday Jan 20, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Same here with not too much to report today.  I do not think I will make any significant progress with decluttering today.  I took one look at the pantry this morning and said, "Nope."  Going to be a bit self-indulgent today and focus on relaxing and staying warm.

I am still holding onto extra water as my wedding band was still tight.  Last night's dinner was very salty, although I am now wondering if this weight gain is in my fingers.  According to FitBit, I am now back at where I started, in July, at 127.5.  *sigh*

Just because my focus today is staying warm, I still want to go outside and trudge through some snow.  I have to fill up one of my feeders in the backyard.  If I'm brave enough, I'll just keep walking.  We'll see. It's sunny outside which makes it enticing to be outside, but at "feels like 1F" I'm pretty sure I won't last too long.  Just gotta get my outdoors fix of fresh air, I suppose. 


LATE AFTERNOON EDIT:  Logging on here to prevent myself from eating more nuts.  I've had a generous portion already.

Had fun walking out in the cold and snow.  Because the walking path on the main road isn't cleared by the village yet, I had fun breaking a path.  It was hard work!  The walk was good - no, it was GREAT!  So glad I got outside for some fresh air and sunshine.  Checked on my one feeder, added food to my other feeder in the backyard.  


My daughter is delving into vegetarianism with a slant towards the vegan, so I've been reading up on some tofu recipes to help her.  Interesting -- I think I could help her with this.  I'm not so sure I'd want this exclusively for myself, but of course, I will take tastes to see what it's like, especially if it's something that I make for her, so that all she has to do is reheat when she gets home from work at midnight.  Good for her if that's what she wants to do -- and I might learn a thing or 2 too.

I never did find that 150 veggie burger recipe book when I went back to Goodwill.  I should have grabbed it the first time I saw it.

 

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/20/2019:
Sounds like you need lots of peppermint tea to help you stay hydrated/warm and flush out salt/toxins.

Donkey on 01/20/2019:
That is a good idea - and I happen to have peppermint tea on hand. I will have a cup tonight.


horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2019:
yeah! i cannot believe how cold it got here as of the weekend!

try to help your daughter along not to get like i was ...too restrictive and lost my period for a couple years. so unhealthy. lost calcium i'm sure.

at her age, "kids" do like to experiment and grow and learn....omg i learned for YEARS.

aren't you glad you have some good experience on you already in terms of eating and diet?!



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