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Donkey - Sunday Jul 09, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

After 5 jumbo toasted marshmallows yesterday, I realized that I am sad and trying to self-medicate with sugar.  Now that I know this, I will be able to seek alternatives as I go through another difficult week with the wake and funeral.

Also, this is the week that my own folks move out to Las Vegas.  So while I am not involved with that part, I am worried about them and hope that they arrive OK and are able to set up their new home easily and quickly.  My (step) dad's health is not very good, so it's important that they get out there, set up, and then can relax and enjoy each other for whatever time left Papa has.

I'll be gone for 2 workdays, so I expect to come back to about 100 emails.  I could try to go in on Sunday to just catch up and set myself up for a good Monday, but I might need the time on Sunday just to reset myself, physically and emotionally.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/09/2017:
Meant to add that I used the energy from the marshmallows for an AWESOME upper body weight training session - YES!

And I have placed a hold at the library for John Sarno's "Healing Back Pain" to help me work through the mind-body connection with my driving issues. I'm hopeful that this will help.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2017:
YES, you can DEFINITELY do the drives. take your time, don't rush, have music. I'm glad your hubby is with you - i always find longer drives easier with someone coming with me.

If my grandma was listening to you and you asked her if you could do the drives, she'll tell you that you can do anything! My grandma always gave everyone the best advice and always was reminding us that we were capable of anything. And you are!!!!

Btw, i was reading about depression and people in general with anxiety (like myself) and one of the things that make people with these things have is the ability to realize the power of certain foods - like sugars - that do in fact lift moods (the seratonin i believe)...so there is truth also to why you had those marshmallows. It's good you stopped though - it's not worth getting fat over - but that's why i don't limit my carbs (good carbs) anymore...i was actually getting depressed eating the other way! but there's so science in carbs and their impact on mood.

ohhh, i'm glad you have a great weight training...i'll be doing that today (after i leave work early to do it because i'm not suddenly skipping out on my love if i have to work and see parents - i'll just do it in between!) i considered i always give my all and i'm allowed to do what i love and need to do to feel good this week - not skip more sessions.

oh, so good job on the session and i am SURE it did help!

I never read Healing Back Pain but did read the Mind-Body Connection which was EXCELLENT.

Take your time reading it - i'm sure it will be GREAT. Reading his other book as well as other authors on being my best, self motivation, and other similar topics has helped me grow a lot as of late (this past year i've been reading those books - maybe even over a year, actually).

Donkey - Saturday Jul 08, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

I feel fat today.  Very surprised that the scale was so kind today.

The wake is downstate Illinois on Thursday and the funeral is Friday morning.  6.5 hour drive -- I hope my back can make it.  I thought about what Horn said and I had recently come to a similar "realization" that perhaps my pain is also associated with PTSD from previous driving experiences.  Driving and autos have always been a really touchy/explosive area, emotionally speaking, and I'm wondering if these drives are somehow triggering subconscious memories, thus manifesting in a physical stress reaction resulting in back pain. 

And now another unpleasant experience to associate with long, highway driving.  Great.  Well, I will do my best.

I have no July goals other than to maintain my weight.  Maybe after the funeral, and we're back home, I can think about this.  Maybe I'll think about it during the drive(s) to and from the funeral.  I truly do feel like I'm on the edge of challenging myself in a new way, but just don't know in what way yet.

Thank you to those who expressed their sympathies.  I truly appreciate it, more than you will know...

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2017:
Maybe you are emotionally transferring your feelings about the funeral to just feeling fat....as i way to cope? this is what i used to do all the time...do you know what i mean? you know - especially if the scale is on your side!

yes, i am quite positive the pain is a result of the past experiences. it doesn't have to be this way again for you. you can rise above this...but try to get out at a rest stop at least halfway on the way home....or even two stops. you'll feel a lot better because of it, hopefully there will be others in your car with you for company on the drive. I prefer it like this for longer drives myself.

Just do your best J Donk, that's all you can ask of yourself.

Yes, when all settles back, you'll be able to concentrate on hopefully a new challenge for yourself (or even continuing the weights! haha!)...keep up the good work.

I'm glad i can support you here and glad to have you on my side as well. It's nice to have support of wonderful women with big hearts such as yourself. Take care and stay strong.

I have my grandma's funeral today. I want to stand up there and speak to everyone without the crying because i want my words about her to come out well and understandable...and strong. Grandma deserves it! I am thankful that she's in a BETTER place right now than she was before. She is a peace and that is majorly important to both her, me, and my father and my family.

Take care! Do well.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2017:
...it was Friday for you - i hope the drive went ok - remember you can do most anything! xoxo

Donkey on 07/09/2017:
No, the drives are this coming up Thursday and Friday. Yes, I can do this! (right?)

Donkey - Monday Jul 03, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

My father in law passed away this morning...

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/03/2017:
Hi J,

I’m so sorry to hear of your FIL’s passing. At least he is not uncomfortable anymore. I am sure he is in a better place from the restrictions and confinement of cancer. I hope his wife gets thru it as does her son (your husband) and you and your family…you will. Stay strong and keep the faith on your own life. Keep a positive spirit regarding yourself and your progress – and nobody does live forever – but I’m so sorry he had to die due to cancer, not natural cause.

Stay healthy yourself and maintain your spirit.

I also commented on your entry below.

Donkey on 07/08/2017:
Thank you - this has been difficult.

jabockov on 07/03/2017:
Deepest sympathy.

Donkey on 07/08/2017:
Thank you very much - I appreciate your kind words.

jayhawkjen on 07/04/2017:
I'm sorry to hear about your FIL.

Donkey on 07/08/2017:
Thank you - it has been difficult (((hugs)))

Donkey - Sunday Jul 02, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Up a little bit more, but still right where I want to be for maintaining.  Sometimes I think the difference is in whether I weigh in before a "bathroom moment" or after.  So I'm trying not to sweat that the number keeps creeping up...  The Logical Self versus the Emotional Self...

I did not write yesterday because soon after weighing in and then exercising, I left for my folks' house to pick up my free treadmill.  What is usually a 3.5 drive -- just long enough to set my back a-hurtin' -- turned out to be a 5 hour drive with construction and holiday traffic.  Lord, my back was on fire last night when we got home.  After driving, and then heavy lifting (of which I did not even do that much) and then driving home (which only took 3.5 hours), yikes...

This morning, my back was still hurting.  Very hard to get out of bed, but I did.  I feel better now that I've ridden the exercise bike, but I still have to be careful.  For this reason, I am not going to do any weight training today, although I would very much like to do so.  I have the motivation, opportunity, and time.  But alas, I don't want to do ANYTHING that would further aggrevate my back.  I know better.

So both my father-in-law and my step-father are reaching the end, it would seem.  Having dealt with my inlaws all week and then visiting my folks yesterday, it's interesting to see how both men have or have not come to terms with accepting the inevitable.  And then the moms -- the incredible difference between my mother-in-law and my own mom -- one in denial and somewhat selfish, the other having accepted and resigned to what will happen.  Both men are 75, but cancer is a total game-changer, I tell ya...  :-(

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/03/2017:
Hello J-Donk! Finally I’m taking a break at work on purpose to comment on your diary! My boss is interesting lately – giving us lots of work to stay busy even on the days before the holiday (which is a GOOD thing bc it keeps me busy & outta trouble)….but less time to catch up on diaries haha….

I LOVE to weigh in AFTER a “BM” haha….you know it, we all feel better after one of those! LOL now I’m making myself laugh at my desk a bit!!

Not only does the drive hurt your back, it could be the “stress” of driving. There’s a book about decreasing or healing back pain I think by John Sarno and a lot of the pain we experience is our emotions actually causing physical pain. Or stresses causing physical pain. I know this is true as I’ve seen someone I know at work, working too much (not my work, it was my physical therapist who was working too much) and was so stressed out that he had such a BAD PAIN in his back he felt he could not do any more work and actually had to go home. I felt so bad. He was so stressed, he let it ride straight thru him and over him and totally consumed him in pain. He’s better now, but he ended up taking a full week off work after that moment. You can ALWAYS stop to rest and stretch on a long ride, Donkey. You do not have to drive it straight! Btw!

Lately, when I have pain, especially if I feel it in my ankles / legs, I STRETCH…you MUST stretch ! it’ll help! It’s no good to sit in the same spot and no movement for hours. even at work I try to “stand up” every half hour or hour. You have to remember….even when driving…don’t stress yourself more than you have to. Go to a rest stop / gas station and stretch.

75 is sorta young, not really so old, I’m sorry these men are struggling with negative affects of cancer – it’s so sad that it affects so many, especially in the years that they should be happy – like the golden years after retirement.

Donkey - Thursday Jun 29, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Felt the need to confess a bad eating day yesterday...

I've noticed that in the afternoons, I crave sugar.  So I've been munching on raw vegetables or fruit and/or almonds, but that craving still lingers.

Last night, I tried to stave off the craving with a low carb dessert, but finally just caved in and had 3 large marshmallows, toasted over my stove.  That certainly did satisfy my sugar craving!  And I had a lot of energy after that, so I did a fully upper body AND lower body weight training workout last night.  Might as well take advantage of the energy!

This morning, though, I woke up feeling a bit "hung over" and I'm sure it's because of the sugar.

So my question is this:  Should I use an artificial sweetener in my afternoon coffee and/or in my low carb desserts to calm down the cravings?  My sweetener of choice is saccharine. (Can't stand stevia - too bitter & Splenda is definitely out as it just charges up any cravings and usually results in a binge.)  Or is it better to stick it out and stay pure?


Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/29/2017:
Hola Donkey!

Bad eating days happen and a way to get thru this upsetting time when we tend to dwell on how “bad” we are and how we can’t do anything right and how we are “failures” (all which is NOT so!!!) – well the way to get over this is to realize that we ALL slip up and that you are no different than anyone else in this matter. The only difference is how you RECOVER from a slip – and that’s by trying to get back to your good patterns as soon as possible after a slip !

If you are craving sugar, you may be thirsy. You can drink flavored seltzer which is no calories or chemicals. I flavor mine with stevia for extra sweetness. I use stevia drops. You can have a piece of fruit or your veggies with the seltzer to fill your stomach. Sweetened seltzer with liquid stevia is BEST….ohhh yes! marshmallows would go GREAT with your seltzer (with stevia!). Before gym, I ALWAYS have a sweet treat and no cal drink. And I even do this on non-gym days after work….i love a sweet treat in the afternoon. Oh…speaking of treats….i have been laying low on caffeine and my skin has cleared up….now I’m drinking caffeine today and I am stopping….less caffeine has done wonders on my skin (chin and mouth area)….the biggest culprit was probably energy drinks….i am laying off them but like I said I just used some caffeine drops – should probably throw away but I’m sleepy lol….but being sleepy is I think worth it if I am going to have nice skin!?

Why would you be hungover due to THREE marshmallows! Sugar is OK Donkey…it’s how we get our energy….the main way…! The easiest form of energy is sugar…? So how are you hungover from a SMALL amount of it?

Ok, disregard my suggestions for stevia….i’m now reading you DON’T LIKE IT! LOL…..!

It’s better not to use something artificial and have real sugar in small amounts, but, everything in moderation is my tip….but that’s how I roll. You have to decide for you what is best….but what everyone is always suggesting is “Everything in Moderation.”

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 27, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

I'm back in the Bizarro world again...

Both yesterday and today I have felt that I'm eating too much. Breakfast is OK, dinner I probably would do better to eat less, but I'm not satisfied with my lunch or snacks so there you have it.

Work has slowed down -- this is even worse than winter, it seems, and for real estate, that's BAD.  I've moved on from the postage stamp drama.  Horn - thank you, your insight was very helpfu.  Then I read a tweet from some guy who CNN misreported a story on.  His message?  Something like "Class act, apology accepted, we all make mistakes, moving on."  WOW - if nothing else, THAT is the frame of mind I want to be in. 

My chin seems to be breaking out again, although hormone fluctuations have ended and it doesn't feel broken out - just looks kind of like my skin is thinking about it.

Father in law is considering hospice care.  I don't have the whole story, but it's just sad. 

Wish I could wake up at 5am and walk before I start my regular exercise routine at 6:30a.  I just can't seem to get my butt out of bed before 6am. 

If I just sit tight, the earth will spin around again and hopefully I'll be restored back to the natural universe again...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2017:
....if you want to sleep more in the morning, do it. don't force your body to do things that it seriously doesn't want to do - i hate morning exercise.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2017:
i'm glad my comments helped ;)

Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2017:
also though, you cannot sit tight and wait for the universe to restore....but i like the thought....any changes you will have to do.

however, i do believe that you are in control of what changes and when....and the morning stuff - you don't have to force things you don't really want. :)

and SLEEP is majorly important - make sure you are getting around the recommended amount.

ever since i started sleeping better, i haven't needed as much caffeine.

Donkey - Saturday Jun 24, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Up 2 pounds, but again, I feel that this is about where I should be.  I also feel that the 2 pounds is temporary.  My weight seems to be influenced very much by hormone levels throughout the month, which is why I feel that it's very important not to be fixated on a particular number (gain or loss) but rather, thinking of my weight in terms of a comfortable range, and then measuring my overall well-being:  emotional, performance, spirutal, etc. 

What this means is that a lower weight does me no good if I'm depressed, weak, tired, crabby.  A higher weight number does me no good if it affects my walking, fatigue, cheerfulness.  And so on...

So things have returned to a "new normal" from my episode into the Bizarro Universe.  My skin has cleared up.  My weight is up to a more realistic number for me.  But work holds no joy for me.  I'm so upset at my boss' son-in-law for chastizing me for spending a stamp on a work-related endeavor.  I don't think I can reconcile myself around this.  He ignores me now.  I stare right at him.  It's ridiculous.  I want an apology and I know I will never get one.  He should really be ashamed of himself, but he's too much of a pompous a**.  My co-workers support me, and my boss has no problem with the stamp, but just wishes I would go back to being a happy worker.  Because that's how he rolls:  ignore it and it will go away.  Hard to ignore it when it's a daily reminder.

Anyway -- no more energy wasted on that loser or this issue.

We had bad storms here over the week and lost a few large limbs to the willow trees we have in back.  So just after I got my entire backyard cleaned up, now I have to clean it up again!  Husband cannot help me because of his arthritis.  My 19 yr old son is minimally helpful on days that he works, and has no initiative without supervision.  So it will be me and probably my daughter cutting up branches and bundling them  up.

I was going to resolve the yardwork matter in a different way, but I'm so angry with our curbside pick-up service, that I *WILL* go out there and cut/bundle so that they have a HUGE workload to pick up on garbage day.  That will teach them to pass up my house as they have previously (once last year and then once this year, when they deamed a branch "too long" to take).  So now I will get my revenge and give them lots to do.  Thank goodness we are getting a new garbage service in July.

I waste an awful lot of my personal energy on feelings of anger and revenge.


Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/26/2017:
Hiya J-Donk,

I think I am also up a little bit. I feel it so much just around my waist that I have gained at least 1 pound. It’s so weird. I have been eating so much more for at least a couple months now – but I guess the increase (just a slight increase!) in cardio is helping to burn calories! It’s amazing that the little cardio I have added seems to be paying off…

I’ll agree with you – and say it’s the same with me – that my weight is DEFINITELY majorly influenced by hormone levels throughout each month as well. Lately, just like you, I’m thinking of my weight and whole persona on that spiritual / emotional level also. This weekend, for instance, I actually skipped the gym so I could feel more rested on Saturday and then my social life forced a skip on Sunday…(I came home late from family & gym would have closed…and it seems we just can’t be EVERYWHERE at the same time!)….life balance proves harder the bigger the family & commitments! And I have the SMALLEST family!

AGREE….a slightly higher weight is VERY FINE…if your mood is up and you are feeling good. I remember being on a very low carb diet for a short time, the time right before the last major cruise / vacation I went on with my family – I was at my lowest weight in my adult life – right around 110…and I felt SO LOW ENERGY and COLD all the time. When we went kayaking, I couldn’t hold up with my mom….it was a terrible experience, no energy at all. I can’t do that whole really low carb thing…like you were talking about mood….carbs also boost serotonin….and I realize part of my depression was due to not eating enough carbs….just relating to your entry through my own experiences….

Forget about that male coworker – he’s teasing you about the stamp bc he sees it BOTHERS you. Pay him no mind. Just do your thing. Ignore him back. Work is usually not fun – that’s why it’s called work – that’s why it’s important you keep on with your “life balancing” efforts bc it’s the outside of work experiences and family and friends that you NEED…we aren’t always (most of the time we are NOT) close friends with coworkers. So you must find the time for enjoyment and happiness in your life, as you DO!, because you cannot count on work to give it to you.

Your 19 year old should really be helping you….if he lives with you….he should be doing his share especially if it’s only you two women cleaning up no good! Tell him he needs to help! That you need his strong body and not just you two ladies to do hall the heavy lifting. Tell him his help is appreciated…that’s all….he shouldn’t be boarding “free of charge” without lending even a finger of help!

Take it easy and stop putting yourself down. You have a big heart and you do NOT need to waste so much energy thinking of this BS. I have learned to stop the BS a ibt….finally my work drama is OVER after THREE LONG MONTHS. Just don’t talk at work much, lay low, don’t tell anyone your business. Try to talk to family and friends, not coworkers that you are NOT close with and do not ever socialize with outside of work….

Donkey - Saturday Jun 17, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

Have you ever had a day where you wonder, "What has happened to the universe?  Did I shift to a different time continuum?  Did a cosmic event just happen that I am no longer living in the life I was living but now live in this bizarro alternative reality?"

Because that's what I feel like has happenened to my life in the past week... 

Started with that unexplained skin break-out and 3 pound weight gain.  Then, in an instant, my father-in-law's health took a turn downward.  Then a huge drama at work -- all over me spending a postage stamp of 47 cents to mail out a thank you card!  Now today's weigh-in, and a legal clinic -- where I volunteer once a month -- that would just not end...

So now in my new bizarro universe: 

  • Father in Law was admitted to ICU (from his regular hospital room) and on a ventilator... not looking good. 
  • I'm so done with my workplace.  I love it, but it doesn't offer health insurance, which my family desperately needs, and it's not worth it to have a huge fight over me spending a stamp for a thank-you card (completely work-related, paid by my employer's stamp), so I"m not putting up with that any longer.  I am going to start looking earnestly for new employment.
  • And now my skin has cleared up and I weight 133.5.

I'm just waiting until the natural, correct timeline of events is re-established, so that I can go back to living in the regular universe and not bizarro-land.  Now I know what Tasha Yar must have felt like...

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/18/2017:
yes, the universe can play the strangest games....!

i am glad your skin has cleared up and the weight gone back down - probably due to stress?

also, i am so sorry about your father in law...i wish him recovery.

also, stay positive :)

Horn_of_plenty on 06/18/2017:
i wish a happy father's day to your hubby <3

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 14, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 139.0

(No weigh-in until Saturday -- this is just thinking...)

A word to my 2 skiiny neighbor ladies:  Thin doesn't count if you smoke.  Sorry.

Also, came to the realization that I need to be true to myself, and some of the things I had hoped would come to fruition aren't going to happen, because that's not who I am. 

  • I tried to start a walk-run program in the morning, a very simple route -- just can't do it.  I tried revising it to just walking, because I love to walk, and so if I can't run, then at least walk.  Not happening.  I've been enjoying the past 2 mornings sitting outside with my cup of coffee, just soaking in the morning, until it's time to go back inside to ride my exercise bike while watching the Today Show (my favorite morning news show).  Then I walk at night unless, like tonight, it's storming outside.  IDK I might keep trying, but I love sitting outside and watching the day come alive.  Maybe I'll feel more motivated to walk when the weather gets cooler out?
  • Still keeping up with the weight training, but I'm not doing the daily push-ups. I decided I need those rest days.  This is ok.
  • As much as I would like to become vegetarian, it's not in the cards.  The low carb focus on protein has worked for me.  Eliminating meat seems to just send my eating off the cliff.  It's hard enough to try to control the carb craving at 3pm or after dinner, without having to deal with the incomplete feeling I have with no meat.  I'm sorry about this, because I feel like it's a moral failing more than anything else.
  • Something wonky is going on, which may be hormonal but not related to my typical monthly issues.  I had a few bad breakouts on my chin and jawline, which is highly unusual, and just feeling out of sorts.  I've been sticking to my eating plan but eating more food, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, especially with a 3 pound weight gain last week. 

On the postive side, last night, after my lower body workout, I was stretching my legs and I'm *almost* satisfied with the back of my knees.  My thighs/knees have always been where I put on the weight  -- I've never had that gap between my thighs that they talk about.  the back of my knees have a dimple where the fat accumulates by the ligament behind the knee cap.  Well, that dimple is almost gone.  I want the back of my knees to be smooth and flat.

I'm crazy, right?

Progress as of today: 47.5 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/15/2017:
I am having so much difficulty adding in the 2 days of running with my 3 days of weights...it's so frustrating :( ....i'm trying to be true to myself also in the effort to trying to not overdo....still working on this.

as for the morning routine, i'm not a morning exercise person either and perfer to also sip something, usually kombucha or ACV in seltzer,and also relax to start the day. Don't punish yourself by forcing a morning walk if you enjoy an evening walk instead...that's fine...and that's good you are being true to yourself...

rest days are important. i have a friend who's EXTREMELY fit both strong and cardio-wise she can run...and she can swim! 2 things i do lack...she says she has two rest days a week...i'm trying this...i think i'll try to plan at least 1 rest day after my running days as the running days make me sore and weights do NOT.....

i also cannot become a vegetarian...i wake up in the middle of the night hungry and whenever i don't have meet for ahwhile (few days) i start to crave it if i'm only eating soy or beans...just decide what works for you - you do not have to do what is undesireable for you! plenty of things work for plenty of people and yes choose the one that is good for you...

yes, breakouts in those spots are hormonal. are you eating different things?

I also have fat around the knee caps as my legs are not very strong...but because i've been training them a little bit, i'm also satisfied with them as i'm doing as much as i can right now :)

I like how you are working at being truthful with yourself...it's also a way of achieving goals rather than always having only stretch goals and getting injured bc always the goals are too big.

stretch goals (huge goals) are good but to a point bc we also need to produce short term and smaller goals that can be definitely achieved.

Donkey - Saturday Jun 10, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 139.0

Oh where to start even....

So I gained 3 pounds.  What can I say...  I had hoped that eating a lot of fruit yesterday wouldn't backfire on me today but sadly, it has.  It's a darn stinkin' shame when you can't even eat FRUIT without having to worry about gaining weight.

Then, I find out from a lady co-worker that a guy co-worker told her to make me start eating more donuts because I'm too skinny and losing weight too quickly.  Tell that to the 3 pounds I just gained!!!  I can't tell if this is genuine concern or jealous backstabbing.  (This male co-worker and I talk about our workouts a lot, so that he commented isn't all that inappropriate.)   And he says this to my lady co-worker on Friday after he had the NERVE to chastise me for eating bread (Subway sandwich) on Thursday!!!!  That's what makes me think that his "concern" is rooted in ulterior motives.

Anyway, I'll just keep on smiling and eating my vegetables...

The good news is that I went walking/jogging again Friday morning and this time, I had no residual hip pain.  So lesson learned:  I cannot combine my running days (as minimal as that might be) with lower body weight training days.

It's going to be blazing hot here this weekend, so I had my daughter by a $10 inflatable pool to put in the backyard to sit in.  If she sits cross-legged, we can both fit in the pool, but only one of us can be underwater at a time.  It's a very small pool, but that's OK with me.  Small pool = small maintenance, if you know what I mean.


Progress as of today: 47.5 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2017:
Of that 3 pounds, some has to be water weight. ... if you think it's from fruit!? Maybe you also had salt.

Don't let it get you down. Just keep going back to your routine. Your good habits.

Yes, I'd say that coworkers are not generally going to wish you well on he weight loss....and they will offer those types of sly comments and remarks. I know this is sorta negative for me to say, but it's how i feel after dealing with biatches and nasty bosses as of late. There are people that choose to be evil over good and i now sorta know why. Sorta only bc to me there's no good reason in general. They think they are more deserving than we think we are. They think they are ENTITLED more than we are. ugh.

Yeah, coworkers aren't always professional. There's a coworker, male, at my job, just around my age, that full out took advantage of me. I now do not have lunch with him. I cannot give him anymore of my time. It makes me sick that after always lending him an ear, giving him advice (he's been with us around 1 year now as i've been with the company 6.5) and after he learned all he felt he needed to know - he backstabbed me. no need to discuss it here as it's all stupid stuff and i can't bother spelling it out on your page. But his mindset again is entitlement and that he didn't care if it hurt me to get what he felt he deserved. that's wrong. even if he thought it wasn't fair to him that maybe i had something better....he doesn't know my past....all the extra hours i worked. and he messed it up now for me (i now have longer hours, longer lunch, and my boss had asked me again if i was speaking badly about the dept because this coworker ratted on me after i was so honest and told him what the boss said about him he told the boss i told him! - stupid man !!!)). after i had only ever helped him.

Don't trust colleagues who you do not hang out with on the regular outside of work. Just don't trust them if they aren't actual friends / family.

I'm having a similar strategizing need with my training with weights / jogging. It seems i have to scale down weights which makes me sad but i can't seem to fit in both when i'm training both hard....so....yeah. balance. I have a slight tear in my shoulder but i'm letting it rest and taking a break from gym all week!

Good idea to sit in the pool, you can always buy a second one, you know! So each of you could have your own!

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