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Donkey - Sunday Jun 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Something just isn't right, on an emotional level, I think....  might be physical and I'm just not picking up on it.

I have been carrying around the work thing with me, even though I've managed to put it in a place where it's not dominating every waking moment.  I'm not thinking about it, but rather dreading having to deal with this on Monday.  I really wish I could afford to retire.

I did not post again yesterday, but it turned out to be a pretty good day.  I stayed busy, anyway.  Got a nice long walk in with my daughter.  Tried a new upper body dumbbell routine.  I'm going to try this for a week or two, to mix things up.  I did indulge with a little too much ice cream after dinner, but now it's gone so I won't have to think about it any more.  All 3 of us worked on the gutter problem we've been having.  Hopefully that fixed the problem.  It was gross.

I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning.  Let's just say I did not wake up to joy, that's for sure.  Part of the problem is that I stayed up too late reading. Finally DID get up, though, to find that this morning is a beautiful day.  I guess the forecasted 80% chance of rain is coming this afternoon....  The sky has turned from sunny to bright but cloudy, so I'm going to log off here now and get ready for an outdoor walk.


Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/23/2019:
Are you getting enough B vitamins???? They are the happy vits.......also if you are still doing keto.....it's hard on the moods......If you really need to just retire.....downsizing may be what needs to be done......is that a possibility? Maybe you would be happier in a different line of work? Pretty much all jobs have times of stress...I've never had one that didn't.....but some jobs are just easier to leave and forget for the day.

Donkey on 06/23/2019:
You might have something there about the vitamins. I take a multivitamin but that might not be enough.

You're 100% spot on about stress at any job. My job is hard for me to leave at work. In fact, I texted the Associate attorney that he has a 9a closing tomorrow that will require travel time, just as a friendly reminder. Ugh...

happy-1 on 06/23/2019:
Hugs. Disrupted sleep is also hard on the moods. As is overtraining.

Donkey on 06/25/2019:
Yep -- overtraining. Hasn't thought of that, but I think you're right. Pulling back this week.

Thank you for pointing that out. Extremely helpful!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/24/2019:
with the work thing, you cannot change the past. but you can just be positive (as you were about solutions about the work thing) going forward. try to think of it as "LINDA my coworker" would do .... she'd want to move past it, fit it, and move on! (i do understand you though, completely!)

Your Saturday sounds eventful and productive, nicely done!

My morning was like yours, but i did sleep enough. just on the weekend, i got used to MORE sleep! lol, seems i should DEF keep on getting extra sleep as it does feel good when i can!

Sometimes you need more sleep than you think you do (my opinion!)

We've been having a lot of rain in the past 2 weeks also - but weekend was nice.

maybe the rain will stop so you can walk at lunch.

wishing you continued success and positivity. you are needed at your job, you do good work, i can tell. push forward with it, don't let a mistake bog your future work!

Donkey on 06/25/2019:
Tried to go in wth a lighter heart. Not sure that worked the whole day, but I left in a better place mentally.

legcramps on 06/24/2019:
I hope your workday goes well today; i've been carrying around unnecessary work stress lately as well. I think we both need to figure out how to deal with this 'abusive relationship' we call work.

Donkey on 06/25/2019:
I almost quit yesterday, but held my tongue. Your insightful comment is keen. I think you're right, this is abusive, so now I have to figure out how much of that I allow to happen, and how much abuse is actually there.

Donkey - Saturday Jun 22, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

 So something happened at work on Friday afternoon that is weighing heavily on my mind...  I'm writing about it here, in hopes that I can "leave" it here and move on with my weekend.  I do NOT want this to affect my ability to relax and recharge.  Things like this tend to weigh heavily on my mind and ruin the present moment.  

Basically, what happened was Mistakes Girl -- working on autopilot and not double checking her work -- made a mistake with a deadline date.  This was caused by a glitch in the software we use.  We both were aware of this issue, but I forgot about it and apparently so did she.  I double check all of her work, but forgot about this computer problem.
I blame myself for forgetting that this was a problem that needed to be - at the very least - monitored.  This is a $5000 mistake.  Yep.  Theoretically, we both should be fired for a mistake like this, but fortunately (?) my boss isn't like that.
There's really no sense in blaming or rethinking what went wrong.  We can only move forward to reconcile THIS mistake and then take steps to make sure that this STOPS happening.  (We went through all of my open files and found mistakes just like this in 6 other files!!) 
Now I don't want to dwell on this any more, unless it's to think of a better solution.  But frankly, I don't even want to spend my days off thinking about ANYTHING with work.  Maybe I'll talk to my husband about this.

I need a distraction.  I think a walk would be a good idea.  I wanted to do a little keto baking today too, but I'm not sure that will come to fruition.  Tomorrow (Sunday) would be a better day for baking because the chances for rain are higher.

I truly had every intention of weighing in today, but the husband was around, and I'd rather weigh-in in private, if that makes sense.  I will write more later today.

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/22/2019:
I say...forget about work glitches on your day off....Business owners need to have the business in mind 24/7 ( been there...done that)...but employees get paid only at work....and I doubt if they are paying you to keep running through work problems in your head...so THIS IS YOUR TIME!!! Accidents happen.....you did what you could about it.....and hopefully you will enjoy the rest of your weekend......I hear you about the scales and privacy.....

Horn_of_plenty on 06/23/2019:
You took the steps to prevent this issue from happening in the future with the 6 other files. Also, next time there's a computer glitch problem, don't put that file aside but your other work aside and fix the glitch issue ASAP. but either well, we make mistakes. at least you did actions to prevent it again in the near future. you did good. see the positive in your actions after the accident happened.

I actually did sorta a keto recipe but not really with the cool whip mixed with peanut butter it's almost too easy to be called a keto dessert or recipe. i want a donut or cake keto recipe. just gotta find the time i want to spend on it. lately, i'm more about cooking food :) like veggies and meat!

don't worry about the glitch, just LEARN from it. that's all you can do. stay positive. and if boss brings it up, show him how you're working on prevention for the next time :)

Donkey - Friday Jun 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Thank you,  Friday!!!  Could not get here soon enough!!!  

Cat yoga was good!  I would go again.   My daughter's work schedule changed unexpectedly and I invited her to come along if there were openings,  but the event had already sold out.  In a way,  I was glad because I felt that this was something I wanted to do alone.  That is to say,  this was HUGE in stepping out of my comfort zone,  and that was the challenge to myself:  to do something new on my own.  I need to be able to do this,  because my husband cannot do a lot of the things I want to do,  and my daughter has her own life to live.   Does that make sense?  Now that I've done it,  I'd be happy to have her come with me next time. 

The yoga itself was more exercise and less relaxation than the Chair Yoga my husband and I do once a month.   The instructor was not as soothing,  but more invigorating.  So it was different.  I can see how some forms of yoga can be quite a workout!

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/21/2019:
Very good job to YOU for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something new and different! A fun challenge and it DID look great. Looks like the instructor really put it together with a nice spin on the Cat theme.

Yes, i see that you wanted to do it independently, all alone, without help (your daughter accompanying you)...i get you completely, yes.

yes, yoga can def be a big workout depending on the type / instructor / other variables.

Donkey on 06/22/2019:
I actually prefer the relaxation focus of the Chair Yoga, but this was a good stretch. Now that I know what to expect, I will approach this differently, mentally.

Let's say that this yoga was more of an "awakening" feeling, where as the chair yoga I go to is more of a "resting" feeling. Both are great, but just different.

legcramps on 06/21/2019:
So glad you enjoyed the cat yoga! And I totally understand wanting to do it alone for the first time - i'm the same way with some things!

Donkey on 06/22/2019:
Thank you for the encouragement!

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

i'm in a touchy place right now.  Last night, after my workout (light weights, high reps, upper body), I did not have anything to eat.  In fact, I skipped out on the nuts and piece of dark chocolate after dinner as well.  This morning I woke up feeling fatigued.  I almost considered sleeping in or going into work an hour late so that I could get more sleep and then exercise later.  I don't know if it was the food or if I'm overtraining.  I'm also not sleeping well.  My husband has been coming to bed late and waking me up.  (I'm sensitive like that.)  Last night, I couldn't get back to sleep because my back ached.  

So I'm tired!

I'm also stressed out about this cat yoga tomorrow night.  I talked to Male Co-Worker about this yesterday, because he has an event tomorrow night, too, that he is equally looking forward to yet dreading.  He knows exactly what I'm talking about.  It's not laziness, but rather stepping out of one's comfort zone.  It would be so much easier not to go, just to go home and do the familiar, even though this is something I'm really looking forward too.  It was nice to know that I'm not the only one with these kinds of feelngs.  I know I'll go, because I paid for this.

I *AM* having second thoughts about the free "Catholic yoga" next week though.  I don't want to miss the Presidential debate, and I would probably miss the first 15 minutes of it.  As a voting citizen, I feel it my civic duty to be as informed as possible about any and all candidates for the next election.  And as I've written before, I have mixed feelings about the whole "Catholic yoga" thing --- can't call it "yoga" because yoga in itself is related to another religion  - oh give me a break.  So you can't be yoga but you can plagarize all of the movements and stretches. Got it. (NOT)

I'm way out of my comfort zone this week and it's making me very anxious.  On the bright side, I'm not eating my emotions.  That's a really good thing!

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 06/19/2019:
Yeah, it does sound like you are feeling anxious this week. One step at a time, do what you can, and forget about the rest - it's not important enough to stress you out!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/20/2019:
It's probably your sleep that is most running you down emotionally i think. Also, when your back hurts, do you take pain meds? i find that if i take something when i wake up with any pain, i'm able to go back to sleep as soon as the medicine hits my bloodstream.

You can do this CAT yoga! You LOVE CATS! I think that you are emotionally putting too much emphasis on it being something new. This is good for you!

Also, you can YOU TUBE the presidential debate! you won't miss any...right?

Then again, you can say no to anything you don't want to do. Just prepare for these new things.make sure you have your workout clothes ready...and everything ready. maybe a snack ready if you need it...

I am rooting for you.

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 18, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

I'm up early today,  because there is a  9am closing at the office this morning,  and I want to be there early so as to help folks get set up.  Perhaps I can leave early or take a longer lunch. 

I was not busy at work yesterday but still stayed until 5:40p because at 4:45p, the emails started  coming in!  Really unfair.   The lack of work was causing me quite a bit of anxiety, to the point of being physically uncomfortable. 

Because Thursday is cat yoga,  tonight should be upper body light weights and tomorrow would be legs. 

I find myself grabbing a handful of nuts after dinner.   Nuts seem to calm me down,  but this is probably an additional 200 calories that maybe I could skip. 


This is not a good post.  I'm feeling very anxious right now,  so my thoughts are all over the place...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/18/2019:
When those emails came in - can you have promised yourself to answer a lot of them in the morning? All because you have a task - can't some of it wait until the next day? just asking...can you have some kind of limits here?

I like to see your schedule of your workouts and plans involving the cat yoga. it's def the only way to get things done is by having this schedule.

i have actually noticed my own weekends are not scheduled enough - like last weekend. i hope to never schedule a workout again (or at least for a very long time) the same night as a family function! :)

the good thing is it's a handful of nuts and healthy. let it be.

and today you keep being true to yourself and everyone else - because you ALWAYS are.

oh, maybe take some more time to think about your thoughts here. come back later and regroup?

wishing you a fast, productive day <3

i took a picture of a page of a book i'm reading that made me think of YOU! actually many parts of the book have me thinking of you. especially with the cat yoga - a new activity to spice things up and put a stop to things being monotonous. workouts also - changing them every so often so you keep momentum. these are good things.

Donkey on 06/19/2019:
The limits on emails at the end of the day: I can do that but then I have that much more work to do the next day -- that's how I see that. But that IS a viable option. My boss would be ok with that.

I have so many mixed emotions about the yoga events this week and next. I'm looking forward to it BUT at the same time, dreading it.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/18/2019:
do you know the cause of why you became anemic?

Donkey on 06/19/2019:

Donkey - Monday Jun 17, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Dumbbells Lady on Facebook never got back to me with an address to pick up the 20lbs weights,  so I'm done with that. 

Felt some ache in my lower body from yesterday's workout. So I'm pleased with that. 

Dealing with some serious sugar cravings,  trying to resist and work past them.  Had some ice cream Friday night,  which I believe has set these cravings afire. 

Trying to start the week on a positive note,  but already feeling the workweek dread.  Cat Yoga on Thursday,  though...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/17/2019:
Good way to begin the week.....it does make it easier. Darn sugar is like that......I hope the day comes when I will have finally ridded trhis place of sugar....it surely will help.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/17/2019:
sorry the weights didn't work out! but now you can look into the bands.

always nice to have a little ache telling you that you did some work!

totally hear you on cravings. this happens to me too after an indulgence, i just want to have more, always.

CAT YOGA. you gotta let us know how this goes!

i also am trying for positive :) i am going to cook tonight and try to get it all done not too late :) would be nice to eat my home cooked food tomorrow for lunch! i have SO MANY VEGGIES to make! and a GREAT recipe!

you sound more positive...how's your son!

Donkey - Sunday Jun 16, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Happy Father's Day....   Mr. Donkey was going to grill outside today with his brand new grill but since the weather's been kind of wet and rainy, now he's not so enthusiastic. I hope he changes his mind.  This reminds me that he did not buy any corn on the cob to cook on the grill for our daughter, so maybe he was never intending to cookout today.  Hmmm....

I am waiting for the lady selling her dumbbells on Facebook to contact me for a time and place for pick-up.  Let's see if this one ever comes to fruition.  I'm starting to think that rather than buying heavier weights, to invest my money in some resistance bands.  They are a lot cheaper and take up way less space.  I think if Dumbbells Lady doesn't come through today, I'm not going to pursue them any further.  Today or that's it.

I realized this morning that when I worked out with weights yesterday, I did a full upper body routine.  So today, I will do legs and more ab work - if my back will permit it. I woke up to a really sore hip/back (as usual).  My morning bike ride seems to have helped immensely with that.  I will also do some floor stretches here in a little bit to realign my hips to my back.  *sigh* gettin' old...

I've also noticed that I'm getting tired of meat.  This past week, I was to the point where I cannot eat any more bacon for a while.  I wasn't eating a lot of it, but while eating it, realized, I've had enough, I don't want any more.  I have some summer sausage in the refrigerator that I've also "had enough" of.  I'm not sure if it's the high fat or the flavor or what.  

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/16/2019:
I've been using resistance bands...and they are something that D had to use at Physical therapy too.....i'm likeing them alot...watching TV and using them seems to make the time fly by! My hip got worse with the exercycle...how I wish it helped mine...I will continue with it...but it's stirring up issues again...UGH!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/17/2019:
Sometimes i need a break from certain foods, too..

Did you guys bbq? I took home steak for R but he told me he cannot chew it so i now will freeze it in the corned beef extra liquid i have...

Those dumbbells are a GREAT price! what a great idea. i should have looked into more options when i was purchasing mine! did you end up picking them up?

also exercise bands, using them slow and with resistance, i know can be just as effective as weights. so that would be a great option too of course!

I am reading something interesting, my book on success that i forgot at my parents' house boohooo...and well your routine on your bike is really nice bc you are moving and doing something very positive at the start of your day.

Donkey - Saturday Jun 15, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Did not weigh in today and that's fine.  I did think about weighing in and then decided that now was not a good time.

Friday was a better day for me at work.  Nice Lady is starting to talk to me again.  I decided that I cannot live my life trying to manage the feelings of other people.  If she is mad at me, then that's on her, and how she chooses to act or react is her decision.  By the way -- I caught her AGAIN, yesterday, trying to work on one of my files.  Do I do that to her files?  No. I didn't call her out on it, but just kind of finished the task she started.  I complained to my husband that said I need to find another job, because this is driving me nuts.

Overall though, it was a good day though - and this is bad - because we're not so busy.  That's not good because I should still be busy until the end of June.  Then real estate slows down a little for the 4th of July week, picks up again until the beginning of August when people start thinking about going back to school.  So that there is a lull NOW is not a good sign.  But I don't care, because I realize that I have to look out for my OWN well-being, and being less stressed out is what is important to me, personally.  In fact, I started thinking yesterday afternoon about taking shorter hours when the work is less, rather than trying to find things to do, to work a full 8 hours.  On the other hand, I did put in 3.75 hours of overtime this week overall....

I would like to get flowers for all of my flower pots today.  I do not know if I will do that.  I also have to get to the bank today as well.  Heavy weights for shoulders/chest/triceps today.  Already not looking forward to it, but I have a TV show at noon to watch, so that's some incentive there.

My husband sprang a couple of surprises on me today:  wants to go grocery shopping (no thanks) and the hardware store (no thanks).  Plus we're having a "money talk" sometime today, while my daughter is at work because these talks can get kind of loud.  

I hope to update this post later on today...

EVENING UPDATE:  If you read my comments to Horn below, you will see that I ended up running errands with Mr. Donkey.  It was a good time. It had started to rain, and I think he (and me) got afraid that he might slip and fall again.  That changed his mind from "I'll do it myself" to "OK, let's go when you're ready."  

I bought some impatience flowers for my flower pots.  I'm hoping that it will stop raining long enough for me to be able to pot them tomorrow.

Did heavy weights but different exercises.Afterwards, I really felt it - in a good way.  I don't feel any pain now.  Also, to my daily push-ups, I'm adding sit-ups in some form.  We were all talking about this at work, and I think working on my front (abs) will help with my back.  I realize that I don't do nearly enough to improve my posture.  I'm starting to think about spinal disc compression or degration as we get older.  Trying to avoid that.

Oh and some good news -- an inquiry I put in on FB Marketplace for 20lb dumbbells finally answered me this evening.  I hope to pick them up tomorrow.  40lbs total for only $10! 

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 06/15/2019:
I'm noticing lots of properties going on the market here right now...back in the day when I sold real estate ( the 80's) this was boom time.....but over the years I've seen it slowly just get quieter. When we lister our house down state...it took a year to sell......it was so different from the past 2 houses which sold in a week and the other on the day 1. It's just so much harder for people to qualify for mortgages these days...It was good that you got some overtime though....!!!

Donkey on 06/15/2019:
This is a strange real estate market this year. The winter weather carried on a little bit longer than usual, so the Spring "rush" started later. Also, finding "starter homes" under $250,000 is VERY difficult. Plus a LOT of young adults are still living at home much later.

Add to this mix that a lot of my boss' top producing realtors have either retired or are retiring out of state, seriously sick (cancer), or have died. My boss will be 69 this year in October, and he has not done too much to gather young realtors into using our office.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/15/2019:
Why is nice lady working on your files? Does she have no other work to do? maybe just tell her that you prefer to do certain parts on your own?

Maybe go with the flow the rest of June at work until it seems busier? Is this a good thing if work is steady but not necessarily busy?

I hope you get some of your to-do list activities if not all of them accomplished today! Let us know what you did!

I think your hubby tends to surprise you a LOT with things he wants to do. Perhaps you can tell him you'd like to plan it in advance with him - bc there's some things you also want to do? I think it's alright for you not to accept everything he's asking to do bc he's got to give you some notice or discuss as a team? no? that's my opinion anyways!

Donkey on 06/15/2019:
I think Nice Lady may not have much else to do.... I really am trying hard to let this go, to be more flexible. I will continue to keep trying.

Also, with my husband, I tried to turn it around, so that rather than thinking he's being so rude by not taking my time into consideration, that perhaps he wants something to do together. I told him after my TV show (and weight training!!!) ends at 1:30p, I would be happy to go with him wherever. At first he resisted but when it started to rain, he changed his mind. We had a fun time.

Donkey - Friday Jun 14, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Amen, it's Friday!!!

Stuck to my plan and did light weights yesterday.  Want feeling particularly motivated,  so I had to dig deep. 

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/14/2019:
Well - it's great you dug deep because in doing so you were successful in getting the weights workout in and you will feel better and look better based on your decision to work out!!!!! xo


do you have a nice plan on the weekend?

Donkey on 06/15/2019:
Went out for ice cream with the husband on Friday night. No plans over the weekend which is FINE by me :)

legcramps on 06/14/2019:
LOL, Amen, it's Friday :) :)

Donkey on 06/15/2019:
I think all of us here really need a weekend!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/14/2019:
how did the rest of your Friday go? Are you having nice weather in Chi?

Donkey on 06/15/2019:
It was ok - not bad. I'll comment more about it in my entry. It's been kind of rainy here and I'm ok with that. It seems as though it only rains on weekends here lately - LOL...

Donkey - Thursday Jun 13, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Yesterday ended up being a better day,  I think,  because I was able to leave work at 5p and because my daughter was home for dinner. 

My husband fell yesterday,  going to the doctor's office to get his blood tested.  It was raining, his cane slipped on a wet surface, and down he went.  Thank goodness Daughter was with him,  but she needed help from a man passing by to lift my heavy husband up on his feet.  He landed on his elbow.  I'm waiting to see how he feels today. 

So it was a quiet evening last night.  Daughter had a staff meeting at work at 7p, so I did my bike and legs workout.  Happy with that.  Tonight is light weights. Got some good shows to watch while I do this.  I love working out with the lighter weights,  high reps .  

I'm finding myself more and more resentful of work taking up my time.   Rather than feeling like I'm helping make people's real estate dreams come true,  I feel like I'm walking into a boxing ring or firing range, and each day has become a battle to survive.  That's not the right mind-set!  

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

legcramps on 06/13/2019:
I hope hubby is feeling ok today! A fall is never fun, and almost always has aftershocks of some kind.

I'm sorry you're feeling resentful of work right now; I hope this is just a passing phase for you and that things will get better soon. If not, it's never too late for change...

Donkey on 06/14/2019:
True! The most immediate solution is to change my frame of mind. I'm working on this.

My husband is doing much better today. He/We dodged a bullet on this one!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2019:
Work is work and you can't always sugar coat it.

Trust me, at my job there's politics and all kinds of nutty things going on, especially as of late.

Try to change your mindset - write a list at the end of the day for yourself of 3 positive things that happened at work - try something to see the other side of the coin.

I'm really sorry to hear about your husband and i do hope he will be OK. i'm glad there was help nearby when he fell. now he will have to be much more careful going forward.

it's good that you know what kind of weights workouts you like to do. when you enjoy your workout, that's a wonderful thing that helps you keep your momentum.

Donkey on 06/14/2019:
You hit the nail on the head: as I mentioned to Legs, the quickest change I can make is to my own personal mindset.

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