I am finally back down to my weight before the whole Oreos & beer night. It's maddening how I can put on 4lb in 2 days (two episodes of 9 Oreos each), but it takes me nearly a week to get those 4lb off.
At any rate, I am back down to 136.0 and now I'm ready to start losing towards my goal weight. However, I leave for a 10 day vacation in less than a week. Is it realistic to have a goal to lose weight while on vacation? Or is that too much? Can a person lose weight on vacation?
Recently, someone who criticized the diet advice I gave a while back came back from vacation and gained 5lb. I do not want that to be me.
Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
Last time I wrote about how I was struggling to fit in an additional session of cardio if it's not on the crosstrainer.
Yesterday I did an hour of cardio (and lower body weight training) at the gym (crosstrainer, treadmill w/incline), and basically did nothing after that. (A big issue was the weather which was very hot and humid, so I was not motivated to do much of anything outside.)
Today I did my usual 35 minutes on the crosstrainer (I am almost ready to move up to resistance level 16) and upper body weight training. Then I did 15 minutes on the stair-stepper. It is a perfect day for running if the rain stays away. I just remembered that the kids have martial arts this afternoon, so I will have to fit in a run around 2 or 3p. But I may end up bike riding instead, as we are encouraging Son to learn how to ride a bike. (He is 9yrs old, and if he doesn't learn soon, it will only get harder and more embarrassing for him.) Actually, if he still needs help, I may be running behind him riding his bike, and that would solve both problems.
While I was on the crosstrainer, I noticed a cut -- a muscle cut (i.e. definition) in my legs that has become more pronounced. The "cut" started out about an inch long, but today I noticed that the muscle mark is now about 3 inches long. So at least that shows me that using a higher resistance on the crosstrainer is changing the shape of my legs.
It's time for another weigh-in, but this morning I woke up with an upset stomach and didn't feel up to stepping on the scale. I almost backed out of going to the gym, but figured that not exercising wouldn't make me feel any better, so might as well go ahead and do it.
UPDATE: My Husband really honked me off by discouraging me from going out on an afternoon run. First he tells me to be afraid of getting hurt on the path. Then he says, "It looks like it might rain." As if I would melt in the rain. Now I am more determined than EVER to get my run in today.
SECOND UPDATE: I went and ran 3.8 mi in 35 minutes. Running with my daughter riding her bike really pushed me to run faster! On my own, it takes me about 40-45 minutes because I"m not as pushed to run so fast.
Progress as of today: 7.5 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
My new workout routine is inconvenient. By limiting myself to 30 minutes on the crosstrainer, I have to find 30 minutes of some other kind of cardio to do, either at the gym or later throughout the day. Well, I don't have TIME to do more cardio at the gym (or I would do it). And I have a hard time finding the motivation to do any cardio later on in the day. Yesterday I rode my bike with Daughter.
Today, though, while the kids were finishing up their swimming lessons, I pushed myself to run for 30 minutes (3 miles) in the hot, humid, sunny weather. There is a park adjacent to the swimming pool and they have a mile trail that I ran 3x. (Getting in 30 minutes was my goal.) Several times I felt like quitting, after 9 minutes, after 15 minutes, after 20 minutes. But my promise was to get in 60 minutes of cardio in total a day and that's what I did.
Hopefully this will change soon. The weather is supposed to become more moderate after today and the kids' swimming lessons end Wednesday (tomorrow). Having the lessons end means I will have more time at the gym.
Progress as of today: 7.5 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
I am spending time on the computer instead of eating. Husband has to go to work early at 3a, so he was in bed before 8p. This is always dangerous for me because I tend to eat (a lot) when he has to do this. I do not know why, but I believe it has something to do with a deep, underlying feeling of abandonment. It makes no rational sense as everyone is home - they are just sleeping! So there's no real reason for me to feel abandoned. Except that I eat in reaction, and that tells me that something is bothering me on some level.
Today I only did 35 minutes on the crosstrainer, instead of my usual 65. I think this could be a good thing, except that I had to try VERY HARD to get in some other form of exercise during the day. (My daughter and I took a long bike ride in the afternoon; not exactly "cardio" exercise but it was better than sitting on my donkey and doing nothing.)
I also did upper body weight training at the gym, something I have not done in quite some time. I also did some weights at home and now I know that I definitely have a problem with my right shoulder. If I cannot even do a shoulder press with 5lb dumbbells, surely something is wrong. So I cannot do shoulder exercises with any weight until that heals. I might go to the doctor but I do not want to have an MRI to resolve the issue (yet), as it is not that bad (yet).
I realize now that what is holding me back is what I eat. Or perhaps, rather, HOW I eat. I had an Oreo cookie the other day, and then I had 8 more. (See my entry with the beer and Oreos. Not something I recommend, by the way.) Then I went and had another NINE Oreos the next day.
Who do I think I am that I can have NINE Oreos? Honestly, you'd think I was 8 yrs old and could eat anything I wanted. So I am not fat because I have an Oreo. I am fat because I have many Oreos, many days in a row. (And it's just not Oreos, mind you.)
I really need to get a grip on the concept of moderation. I don't know why it is so hard for me to just have a little of something and be fine with it. This is where Donkey gets stuck in her rut.
Progress as of today: 7.5 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
Day 50: The family reunion is over, thankfully. No, I did not have a good time, but what is passed is past and I won't rehash it here. I'm sure that I didn't behave well, offended many and made several members upset. When I'm totally stressed out, I tend to retreat into myself, so I am not the most outgoing person under these circumstances. An alcoholic drink might have helped me tremendously but Husband had to work late at the last minute so I was on my own with this one (and the kiddies), so I thought it best not to drink, since alcohol goes straight to my head and I had to drive home myself. I'm sure my mother is upset with me. But on to more important matters here....
In 50 days' time, I managed to stop bingeing (for the most part) and lost 4 lbs. This might have been more, except that I stopped exercising since Friday, to rest and renew myself.
I have the trip to the UK to do next, so I think what my next short-term goal will be is to change up my exercise routine until we leave on July 4th. I plan to cut down my crosstrainer time to 30 minutes a day, incorporate more weight training and then some other kind of cardio to round out the hour.
I plan to change my routine again once I return from vacation.
Progress as of today: 7.5 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
Great job loosing 4 lbs and keeping yourself from binging!! I agree with HOP, its a great idea to always switch up your exercise routine to keep your body guessing. Looks like you've been sticking to going to the gym even though it sounds as if your husband hasn't been joining you (as you suspected would happen!!) My hubby has yet to use the weight bench that I bought for him that is finally up. He say's he's waiting for the eliptical trainer to arrive but I'm afraid he's just procrastinating!
I was reading back through your diaries and comments and I think "My June Wedding" had some very valid points!! You do have so much going for you and you have made such huge changes in your lifestyle that should make you feel very proud!! I also think you have a great sense of humour, it even manages to come through in writting on here so I can only imagine how quirky and fun you would be in person! Keep your chin up and keep pushing forward, look at how far you've come!!!
Day 49: 2 hours before he's due to come home, Husband calls me up and says he has to work overtime today so he won't be going to my Family party tonight. Great. I *really* need his support right now and he leaves me to do it alone. Not enough words to express how much I dread this now. I didn't think it could get worse, but I was wrong.
Took a look at the menu online. Everything is a la carte and hugely expensive. My kids don't like to eat like that. Neither do I. Perhaps I can order a side dish of broccoli for myself. These stupid people, I hate them...
Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
TWO WORDS: Oreos and beer.
This is not good. I need a new approach. So I took today off from the gym, but it will take more than just this weekend to figure out where I'm going with this journey.
I think I'm subconsciously anxious about tomorrow's Dysfunctional Family Reunion. And I'm also nervous about my upcoming trip to the UK. I think we are spending a couple of days in London and then about a week up in Scotland but I'm not sure where. Glasgow maybe? I wanted to go to Hawaii but Husband decided that this would be like our "once in a lifetime" things do. Whatever. No offense, but going to Hawaii has been a desire of mine for a long time, but Husband lived on Hawaii for 4 years so he has no desire to go back there. So I'm basically going along for the ride.
Now back to my Oreos and beer....
Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
Day Whatever: (I don't care any more to count) I have nothing positive to say so this will be short. The weight tracker accurately reflects my weight now. Essentially maintaining...
Oh, I do have something positive to day: Today is the LAST day of girls' softball for the summer season, and I will never have to coach with these stupid men ever AGAIN.
Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!
Day 44: I was so depressed I had to have a cup of coffee after dinner. Sometimes coffee helps pick up my mood. So does writing here. Hopefully, when I am done with my cup of java and my entry for today, i will be feeling better.
I am so discouraged. I've had to work hard at my body image issues and food issues and exercise issues. And for the most part, I've pulled myself out of the downward spiral that thoughts like that lead to. But every once in a while, it really hits me HARD that no matter HOW HARD I try at this losing weight, that I will never be the tiny, slender, lithe person I want to be. I want to have a totally different bone and muscle structure from the neck down. My shoulders are too wide, my hips are too wide, my legs are too thick, my arms are thick too. My thighs are full, from the knee up. I have 2 fat deposits on my upper hip. This is genetic, because my daughter was born with fat on her hips too.
Oh how I wish I could have slender, lean legs, with space in between them when I have my feet together. Even at my lowest adult weight of 113, my thighs were full and they touched. Hate, hate, hate it!!!!
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!
i am so surprised that nobody on the site told me NOT to take it....or that i'm not overweight...so i shouldn't take the Alli. i guess we are all adults and make choices. so far, i've had no negative side effects because i'm serisouly making sure that i don't go over the fat grams at each meal. of course, the meal must have fat or the pill doesn't work. i think i've had a bit more gas than usual...haha, but that's it. they say the body gets used to it after a couple weeks.
oh, and yes, if i take the pill, which you do before starting to eat, i know i CANNOT binge! so, it will definitely help with that. (except if i'm snacking, then i'll have to take some individual control when alli is not involved!).
goodnight, feel better, you'll get through it! afterall, you've been doing well...just minor recent setbacks. put those things aside!
Hope you have a good one! (Coffee is a great pick-me-up--hope it worked!)
Day 43: I took a look at my food log for this past week. I see that I generally average 50g of fiber a day. It is rare for me to be under 50g. I do reach 70g on occassion, but then, those are the days when I eat more. So there's a trade-off there.
On my average 50g fiber day, I usually start off my day with high fiber cereal (All-Bran or Fiber One), one cup, with a cup of soy milk. Right there is 20-28g of fiber, in my breakfast alone.
For lunch I will have a vegetable wrap made with a high fiber tortilla from La Tortilla Factory. Those average 12-14g of fiber. My wraps usually have eggplant (more fiber) and or lots of lettuce. If I have eggplant in the wrap, then I will have a salad and a piece of fruit on the side.
My snacks consist of fruit (now that it is very hot here) or cold leftover vegetables from the night before. If I'm lucky enough to have a Fiber One Oats & Chocolate bar in the house, I will have that. I usually have a cup of coffee in the afternoon too, to help pick me up.
For dinner, I will have a serving of protein (meat, unfortunately) and then 2 side dishes of vegetables, or a vegetable and a salad, or a vegetable and a fruit.
Sometimes for my evening snack, I will have a serving of high fiber cereal with some yogurt. Or just dry. Sometimes I also splurge on some sherbert, which is not low calorie and very dangerous to overindulge.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!
i love high fiber breads/tortillas. Have you ever had the brand Morton's? they cell these rolls that are made of whole wheat and potato. only 80 calories, 4 grams fiber. its a good deal for a roll. they taste great and are chewy...and a bit more satisfying than bread.
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Great job on losing those 4lbs. You can lose weight on vacation if you put your mind to it.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/29/2007:
actually, it IS realistic to have a goal to loose weight on vacation, as long as LOTS of walking is involved and you have the opportunity to have very healthy food: salad bars, grilled meats and vegetables, no sauces, soups. if you did this, you'd easily loose weight on vacation...lol, but obviously there are many tempting things. Even if you splurged on a dessert for a couple days at one meal a day, you may be able to loose wegiht as long as you are walking around. I lost weight on a cruise, actually! LOL
Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/29/2007:
oh, you are very good to me with helping me stick to my goals. i see that you will not let the "9 oreo day" be forgotten. if you try to let it go a little, i think it'll help you think more of your goals ahead.
greengirl on 06/29/2007:
You just have to be disciplined to lose weight while you are away. I'm sure you could do it, you seem pretty strong willed when you put your mind to it !!! My sister has managed to do it in the past but me, I'm weak willed and if I only put a pound or two on I count it as a success. I wish you good luck!!! Oh and I hope you have a great time :o)
fullofchubs on 06/29/2007:
Congrats on losing those 4 lb. I'm new, so have no input about dieting while on vacation, but have a great time!!!
halley on 06/30/2007:
I think if you are active enough, and you eat completely different foods than you are used to you may lose weight. DOn't forget to drink water - it will really help. Have a great time!
GG on 06/30/2007:
U can have a goal for your vacation! Hope your staying at a hotel with a nice gym! You can certainly loose weight on a vaca! I have faith in you!!! Just try and gain some will power if you can...lock the mini bar at the hotel...by pass the pastrys at the buffet breakfast and opt for scrambled egg whites (light on the oil & milk if they mix it in the eggs) or fill omlettes with tons of different veggies!!! Go site seeing too and you will walk alot which is great for you too!!! WHere are you going by the way?
hollybelle on 07/03/2007:
YES, YES, YES I know you can lose or at least maintain weight while on vacation. I did it recently and have done it before, too. Just eat healthy and walk everywhere you can. I always say "I" am going on vacation - my diet isn't!!! or I am taking a vacation from my everyday life - not from my healthy eating pattern. Why come back after a good time and have it dampened by an unnecessary weight gain?
yamahaflutist on 07/03/2007:
Thanks for the comment - and yes I did take Alli beforehand - not convinced it is doing anything but we'll see. I know what you mean about the cigs. Since my relatives have addictive tendencies toward gambling and smoking, I avoid the two altogether. At the moment, I am feeling pretty good and though I still think about food a lot, I think about healthy food. That has to be a step in the right direction. Each day is a little bit easier for me. Maybe I carried the rant about my nutritionist a little too far, but my point was less about her and more about me. Sometimes it's just helpful to vent.