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Donkey - Saturday Apr 21, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 75 minutes coaching girls' softball

But honestly, I feel like that wasn't a worthy workout. And of course, I slept in so I didn't make it to the gym early, for the intense 30 minute crosstrainer workout I had hoped/planned for.

I am feeling utterly discouraged and self-defeated. I am essentially re-living my childhood nightmare of being stuck at home so that the other kids in the family can go outside and play with their friends. Husband is of no help whatsoever because he is working 12 hours today. He will be home at 7p, and by then, the gym is closed. (One of the DISadvantages of not having signed up at the Fancy Gym is that it's not open 24 hours a day.)

I have one kid who *loves* to go out and play and another who equally *detests* being outdoors. So it's not like we can even do family outdoor activities. Seriously, it was a beautiful day out here and I spent the whole afternoon watching TV.

Oh well, at least I did not EAT while I was watching TV, which is what I did when I was a child, because I was bored, lonely, resentful, that I was stuck at home. And so the pattern continues on. This is like a bad dream that I can't wake up from!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/21/2007:
you can always sign up at the fancy gym next time, unless money is an issue. perhaps explain to your husband the hours and everything...why the fancy gym is better...

greengirl on 04/22/2007:
Can't you persuade the kids to compromise, all of you stay in one day with the homebody, and all go out on alternate days with the adventurous one!! It seems such a waste to stay in all the time when your hubby isnt there:0

Donkey - Friday Apr 20, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training = 90 minutes.

I really didn't do much else. I was so tired from being wide awake at 2a-4a that I took a nap in the afternoon. My workout today was abbreviated as the kids were home from school.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/21/2007:
hi donkey! i see you are back to an exercise routine today! nice!

greengirl on 04/21/2007:
Doing great with the exercise!!!I hear you on the disturbed sleep and the nap in the afternoon :0)

Donkey - Thursday Apr 19, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes crosstrainer (resistance level 10) + 20 minutes weight training + 25 minutes crosstrainer (resistance level 15) = 110 minutes

I am so busy today that I thought I would update my diary now with my activity minutes. I will be out until 8:30p with my son at the library for Chess Club. I'm soooo tired. Almost slipped up with some leftover birthday cake but kept it in check. (So I could have done better, but definitely didn't do as bad as I could have, that's for sure!) But because I'm tired, I'm drinking too much coffee and not enough water. Which also contributes to fatigue, this I know.

I plan on drinking more water tonight and chewing gum to keep my calories in check. I should do alright. I would like to weigh in tomorrow morning if I can stay on track.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 18, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

I can't believe I forgot to login yesterday! I was so busy!

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: TUESDAY: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 20 minutes weight training + 35 minutes treadmill (5% incline) = 120 minutes

WEDNESDAY: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 20 minutes weight training + 35 minutes on the stair stepper = 120 minutes

EVENING EDIT: I did not do as well as I had hoped I would do with my son's birthday cake. But I had aimed for 2000 calories today and I did 2200-2300 calories instead. I did do more time on the stair stepper this afternoon though, in anticipation of having trouble resisting the chocolate cake. I hope to weigh in on Saturday or Sunday, so hopefully it will all even out by then.

There was some walking around too, as I went shopping for my son's birthday presents yesterday, but I will not count that. So today I face another day of doughnuts, cake and ice cream. I finished off a doughnut that my son could not finish. I know some of you would be like, "Throw it away!" but that is how I let myself have a taste of the treat without having a full serving of the treat. The dangerous part about that is that you have to keep track of all these "bites" or they will add up. I also plan to cut myself a small(er) slice of cake and just a spoonful of ice cream, not a whole glob of it.

Anyway, it was with the doughnut that I realized today is just going to be a day that is higher in calories than other days. Some days are like that. I really need to find the time to exercise today, and not be like last week with my daughter's birthday, that I got so busy with gifts that I left no time for myself.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 04/18/2007:
Your post from Sunday was awesome. Gotta love those "ah-ha" moments. Good for you - hope you have already started taking care of yourself better!

wantabfit on 04/18/2007:
WOW you have logged some GREAT work outs keep it up!

Donkey - Monday Apr 16, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training + 13 minutes on the stair stepper machine thingy + 60 minutes (actually more) coaching little girls' softball = 163 minutes.

Equals one tired Donkey, that's for sure :-)

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

sharklover on 04/16/2007:
wow! that's a lot of exercise! way to go!

greengirl on 04/17/2007:
I hope this exercise pays off for you. You are certainly putting in a lot of effort. Keep up the good work :)

Donkey - Sunday Apr 15, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes on the crosstrainer (no points for Saturday)

I had one of those light-bulb moments this afternoon. I realized that my recent bingeing behavior stems back from a family conflict that happened way back in July of 2006. It started when I was thinking about giving forth my best effort with weight loss, if I was really doing that or just wasting everybody's time with "trying" to lose weight. Then I thought back to what it was when I started losing control of my eating, and it started right around Thanksgiving. (Yes, friends, I've been going downhill slowly, picking up speed as I go along, until yesterday when my Husband had had enough and said, "What is *wrong* with you??" Hey, Hon, I'll tell you what's wrong with me: my dysfunctional family is what's wrong with me!!) This is because our holiday plans were completely changed due to the squabble in July. Because I didn't want to spend ANY time with people who, although we are "family", think that I am less than worthy of being "family".

Realizing that I am still hurting from this incident really woke me up! Not so much that I need to forgive (which I probably do, but I'm saving that for the priest when I go to Confession) but that *I* need to take care of *myself* because I have not healed from this injury. I thought I had, but I haven't. I really need to give my best effort to losing weight because it is for my benefit. Anything less than my best would be like joining in on my relatives who treat me like crap, too.

Life is hard enough without having to battle one's own self.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Donkey - Friday Apr 13, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 min on the crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training = 90 minutes.

I did not exercise at all yesterday. I used up my free time that I would normally spend exercising on a fruitless shopping endeavor for more birthday presents for my daughter instead. You know, it was just a bad day overall. No need to re-hash something so negative like that today.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

maria777 on 04/13/2007:
Wow, you sure did exercise a lot today!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/14/2007:
hey, at least you were doing something instead of exercising! you know, i did the same thing! i went to cvs and the supermarket for a short, quick shopping trip...instead of exercising, which i ended up doing right before bed!

WorkingIt2 on 04/14/2007:
Great job on the exercise! Sorry to read that you had a fight with your husband..hopefully all is better now!

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 11, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 144.0

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES TOTAL: 125 (see below) + 15 min more of shoveling = 140 minutes. ((Didn't do more than just the shoveling.))

OK, I took a sneak peek cheat at my weigh-in, and I'm down to about 139-140. So at least my efforts are paying off. Now I just have to get back to my "starting point" so I can start losing the weight I wanted to lose in the first place.

I cannot believe it is snowing here. In April. Snow. Me shovel. Me shovel twice (or at least I foresee having to shovel again). Bleah. Funny thing is that a couple of neighbors were outside cutting their grass yesterday. At least I had enough smarts not to do THAT.

I was supposed to go shopping today for my daughter's birthday cake and presents for tomorrow (she will be 7!). Unfortunately, this weather is not cooperating, and I don't know if I dare risk driving to the store to shop for her. She needs goodies to take to school tomorrow to, for her birthday snack. Ugh....

Since I have logged on here, I am going to sub-total my exercise minutes, so that when I have to go out and shovel again, I can just add the time on to the sum. Let's see: 85 minutes on the crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training + 15 minutes shoveling = 125 minutes so far.

Progress as of today: -5.5 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

amanda8419 on 04/11/2007:
I am a driver. Im on call for the medical center 88 hours, 7 days a week. It just doesnt have any benefits and the pay depends on how much I get called in. I get a base pay of like 620 every two weeks before taxes, then when i punch in i get another 20.00. if im there for more then 2 hours i get 10 an hour. so the pay ranges from 485 every two weeks to 700 every two weeks. i just want something more stable, with a real schedule, benefits, bonuses, and regular pay lol

hollybelle on 04/11/2007:
Great exercise. GOOD Donkey! GOOD Donkey!

borntocry on 04/11/2007:
Oh, well done! So what's your starting point - 136?

Thanks for your comment. Yes, I think reminding myself of my calorie philosophy really helped prevent the huge binge which normally ensues when some unexpected hurdle comes my way. It's crazy, really, how the realisation that I've gone 10 or 20 or 100 calories over my "limit" can spark an out-of-control eating spiral. This morning it didn't even really matter that I was at 1600 or so calories for yesterday, whereas if I'd eaten myself into oblivion I would have woken up feeling so sick and disgusted with myself.

WorkingIt2 on 04/11/2007:
How nice to see the scale drop!

Justine6Robert3 on 04/11/2007:
Yay, all that effort is moving the scales, good for you! Great job on the exercise again! Shovelling, your weather sounds blah also. I'm soooo tired of snow. At least there isn't enough for me to have to shovel, at least not yet who knows what kind of "Spring" weather we will have tomorrow!! At least you got alot of exercise in, shovelling is definetly exercise!!

Keep up the great working, I'm so proud of how excellent your doing with your exercises! Happy Birthday to your daughter, how quickly they grow!!

greengirl on 04/12/2007:
Well done Donkey. You are really getting back on track :0)

Donkey - Tuesday Apr 10, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 144.0

TUESDAY APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: (let's see if I can remember all that I did today...) 65 minutes on the crosstrainer + 30 minutes on the treadmill + 25 minutes weight training = 120 minutes.

I would have gone for a bike ride, but I had to go to the library today to return a book. My leg muscles were sore this morning and they were very sore this afternoon after my workout. I could tell, when I was at the library, when I bent down to read titles on the lower shelves. Yowza! That's a GREAT feeling!

Unfortunately, we are due for either some nasty rain or some awful (dare I say it?) SNOW tomorrow here. Despite the cold weather, this is all part of global warming. You heard it here first from Donkey -- remember that! I am so sick of this weather.

Progress as of today: -5.5 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

sharklover on 04/10/2007:
wow, that's some great exercise you did today! Kudos to you!

Seriously, what happened to summer? I think we are all over this weather!

wantabfit on 04/10/2007:
Donkey...thanks for the encouragement...your doing great as well...i run outside and in during the week. I just finished training for my first marathon i completed it in feb and i'm just running for fun till i start training for another one in june :)...i'm excited to put some miles on my bike too and i agree this weather is YUCK!

borntocry on 04/11/2007:
Hi Donkey! Thanks for the comment you left me. I must disagree with you - your library outfit was really pretty funny! Man, you've been working out a lot, though. You're right, it's great to feel it in your muscles afterwards. I can't remember when I last had that happen. I need to get a good workout today or I will feel like such a slob!

I agree with you on the global warming thing! I can't believe how many people are going around joking about how they can't wait for global warming to kick in so we can finally have some nice weather. At least I hope they're joking...

Donkey - Monday Apr 09, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 144.0

MONDAY APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 70 minutes playing with kids + 65 minutes crosstrainer + 25 minutes stair-stepper + 25 minutes weight training = 185 minutes. ((Yes, my thighs are hurting a little bit right now. It is good.)

I am back from my mothers'. It went reasonably well, although I did eat too much candy. I did not get in any activity save the 35 minutes it took me to go outside and hide Easter eggs, only to have my daughter discover that I am the Easter bunny. So the bright side is that we won't have to have an egg hunt next year because the "secret's out".

As you can see, my weigh is up (AGAIN) and significantly, as well. I'm not happy about this.

Progress as of today: -5.5 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 04/09/2007:
Aw - today's a new day. How old is disillustioned daughter? I remember those days - fun!

Hang in there. Would it help to mix things up somehow - like changing up exercise routines or lowering carbs or something? You are very dedicated to exercise. Sometimes a change of routine makes a difference.

geevee on 04/09/2007:
Just because your daughter knows that you're the Easter Bunny doesn't mean the end to hiding eggs by any means! 13yr. old Jerryka and 12yr. old Wyatt nagged me and Billy about getting up early to hide the eggs. They simply love to look for them.

Then they asked which of us was the Easter Bunny who left them all that nice dark chocolate and truffles! We go through the same thing at Christmas time with Santa. TYhey constantly wheedle us about which presents they can open on Christmas Eve and then which ones will be from "Santa".

Childhood is SO short!

Justine6Robert3 on 04/09/2007:
That's to bad you got caught hiding the eggs. I almost got caught hiding them in the house after the kids had gone to bed also. Taylor (my 6 yr old daughter) woke up to use the bathroom and couldn't resist peeking downstairs to see if the bunny had come yet!! Fortunetly she didn't see me hiding them though! She told me she "accidently" seen some eggs and presents from the bunny. After she got done in the bathroom she sat cross legged in the middle of my bedroom floor with bed head and her eyes half open and said "Mommy, I'm not tired, is it time to look for Easter eggs now"? This was at around 1:00 am!! It really was cute, she just gets soooo excited about these things (X-mas, Easter etc) that she has a really hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep.

Its to bad your daughter caught you, she's still so young to not believe in the Easter bunny!! I agree with geevee though, you can still have easter egg hunts for her. We still hide eggs for my nieces when they come over who don't believe in the Easter bunny. They are 15 yrs old and nearly 12 yrs old and they still like to look for chocolate eggs with my little ones and their youngest sister!!

Don't be so hard on yourself, its hard to be completely behaved on the holidays. You have to allow yourself a little wiggle room. You'll get back on track with the food and exercise. I know I found myself indulging in some chocolate eggs myself! I had them all dumped out on my kitchen table while I was hiding them around the house and I was thinking look at all that yummy chocolate sitting right in front of me. I couldn't resist having some, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it, what good would that do!

You've been doing so well with your exercises lately and getting to the gym, you have to give yourself some credit for all of your effort!!! I know you can get back on track!

I hope your day gets better!

greengirl on 04/09/2007:
We dont really 'do' the Easter Bunny over here in the UK but I remember how upset my eldest son was when he found out I was the tooth fairy!! It's such a shame when they lose that bit of innocence. I think we all fell for the chocolate this year!!

Justine6Robert3 on 04/09/2007:
Way to go Donkey, you kicked butt with your exercises today!!! I bet your thighs are soar but you likely relieved a good deal of stress and negative thoughts also!! 70 quality min playing with the kids also, I bet they really enjoyed the "Mommy fun time"!

girliegirl6486 on 04/09/2007:
Awwww your daughter found out the secret! Random story time - My dad was telling me this funny story over the weekend - he said one year after he was working an overnight shift really late, he got home and got to sleep for about three hours before I wake him up on Easter morning and say THE EASTER BUNNY CAME!!! My dad said at that moment he was thinking "Oh...f*ck the Easter Bunny." LOL I just thought it was hilarious. He said he got up anyway with me and was like falling over because he was so tired. My poor dad! That's why I love him though :)

borntocry on 04/10/2007:
Hey there, Easter Bunny! Good job with the exercise. Very impressive!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/10/2007:
sorry to hear about your weight...but you do know what it takes to get it down again!

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