I guess I'm still losing binge weight... I usually weigh in on Tuesdays.
I had a great workout at the gym today. My new running shoes were a huge disappointment for running -- inadequate cushioning -- so I decided to see if they would work for me at the gym. I need a new shoe for "at the gym" as well, but I thought running was more important for my sanity's sake.
My new shoe will suffice for the gym. I will have to wait to have more $ to buy a proper running shoe, so this may be it for running for me this year. (Money is kind of tight this year.) And I'm ok with that.
I really enjoy doing cardio, so it occurred to me yesterday that maybe that's what I should be doing! And I love working out my legs -- kind of a love/hate relationship I have with my legs -- so maybe that's what I should be doing! I don't really like working my upper body all that much, so maybe I shouldn't be doing as much of that. (It's still important to do some, though, especially for donkeys my age.)
I also came to the revelation - over the weekend? - that if I continue to binge, I won't lose any weight. If I "need" to binge, ok, well fine, but then don't expect to lose any weight.
You would think this would be obvious, wouldn't you?
But for some reason, all of this hadn't really occurred to me. I was trying to be and do things that aren't really me. And that hasn't worked.
Which is why it's OK if I have to wait to run again. Because maybe it's something I shouldn't be doing right now -- for ME -- and *especially* in shoes that aren't what I need.
Progress as of today: 38 lbs lost so far, only 12 lbs to go!
I think I keep weighing myself in order to see if I'm losing "binge weight" versus "real weight"....
Well, yesterday was actually a pretty good day eating-wise, probably because I was able to keep my emotions at bay (away, essentially). This is quite an improvement over last week, when I was feeling despondent even in the face of good news. (And not just "good news" but "saving-our-butts good news".)
I hope to continue to use the "Just For Today" philosophy for today as well. I'm also employing the "Fake It Til You Make It" approach by smiling as much as I can in public. One guy at the gym this morning said to me, "You shouldn't be smiling this early in the morning; what are you drinking?" LOL! Strong coffee, my friend. Very strong coffee....
Progress as of today: 37 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
me and you, we're having some recent very highs and very lows, emotionally/mentally. lets try to reach a healthy plateau.
Not that I'm hung up on the scale. Please do not misunderstand the weigh-in this morning.
Today was quite a different Sunday than usual. Our town had a small "parade" with the lights and sirens of police and fire. (Indeed, it is called the "Lights & Sirens Parade" -- so as not to be confused with "Throwing Tons of Candy At Your Kids Parade".) Then they had an auto show afterwards, outside.
So I took the kids and walked the 4 blocks or so to a nice shady spot and watched the 15 minute (?) parade (LOL). Then we walked around and saw some of the cars and walked home.
Later, my daughter (9) and I went for a 2 hour long bike ride. Not very strenuous for me, but enjoyable and relaxing.
Now I am going to the store to buy milk, as we ran out of that this morning. I have taken to drinking a glass of milk in the morning.
This is definitely one of those "one day at a time" days, where I didn't think of too much of anything but today.
Progress as of today: 35.5 lbs lost so far, only 14.5 lbs to go!
It sounds like a lovely day!
Today's entry is soley for the purpose of logging in a "starting" weight for the month of August.
I tried to think of goals for myself for this month, but I have none.
Progress as of today: 35 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!
Did not weigh in but I am sure I am up to around 144.
I am not doing well today at all. But I wanted to have an entry today so that at the end of August, I can look back and see how far I've come.
July didn't get much accomplished.
Here's looking forward to a much more positive August.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Hope your day goes well today!
I didn't make it.
For some reason, I ended up crossing that line between EAT and DON'T EAT.
And I ate.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Weighed in this morning, just to see if the weight was actually going DOWN. It is not. It went up, but not by much. But this is it. Now I fight my body to release more weight.
Today I ran into someone at church who has caused me grief. I understand why she has said what she has said. Unfortunately, she said what she said about me with only one person's interpretation. And I was never allowed to say my side of the story.
This encounter took an already difficult day down quite a bit. I have tried very hard not to eat in reaction to this. I came home, had lunch - and made lunch for the kids - and then I went upstairs to watch TV so I would not be around the kitchen.
While I was watching TV, I kept thinking of all the foods that I would like to drown my sadness in. I won't list them here, though. I came down and had my afternoon tea (fancy name for "snack"). I thought I would have some frozen watermelon, because even if I eat a lot of that, it's not as damaging as if I ate a lot of other possibilities.
I did not eat the whole container though, 1-2 cups. Then I had a cup of dry cereal, which seems to be my latest "safe" indulgence.
And now I will not eat until dinner. (Or, I will be asking myself the Carrot Question again.)
Sometimes, I wish we could move. Right now that's not feasible. Actually, I doubt my husband would agree to it. This was supposed to be our Forever Home.
Just an unfortunate day, I suppose...
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Frozen watermelon...never thought of that..it doesn't get mushy???
Try not to focuss on what the acquaintance said/did - focuss on the positive of what came out of that situation. And there WAS a positve. The positive was that you proved to yourself that you can take control and you didn't let it get the best of you. THAT is a step in the right direction - AND THAT is a POSITIVE!
I stupidly weighed myself this morning. It was such a force of habit that I did not realize that I was not going to weigh myself until Tuesday until the number flashed on the screen. Fortunately, I am not in a place right now where the number dictates my mood or my actions or my day. The only thing it affects is the number I punch into the cardio machines at the gym.
Not only does my husband have to work 12 hours today but he also has to work 12 hours tomorrow. Sundays are hard enough as they are, with the husband around. Not that we would necessarily do anything if he were home. In fact, I'd probably do more with him NOT home, just so I can fill the time.
Thankfully today will be *beautiful* weather-wise, so at least I cannot be limited to indoor activities. We shall see.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
Hope the weather holds and you get outside to enjoy it! I took one of my dogs on a walk today and timed it well..it started storming within an hour of us getting back!!
Hope the weather holds out for you! ANGUS RULES!!
I guess I'm at my "Real Weight", after 3-4 days of getting back on track. So now starts the work.
Last night, I had that semi-hungry feeling again around 9:30p. So asked myself the carrots question: Do you want some carrots? And this time, I did! So I had 4 of them and they were very tasty.
(I guess you have to like raw carrots to understand what I'm talking about.)
Unfortunately, this morning, my weight was up 0.5 lbs. WHAT?? Isn't it enough to drive you crazy? YES. So now that I know what my Real Weight is, I can stop weighing in every day, and go back to my designated once-a-week weigh-in on Tuesdays.
I'm good with that.
No special plans this weekend. My husband has to work 12 hours on Saturday which makes for a lonely day. I am hoping that the weather stays nice (i.e. no rain) so that I can do outdoor things with the kids.
If it does rain, I'm taking them to the library so that I can pick up something to read!
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
I hope that the weekend weather cooperates with you so you can get out in the fresh air with your kiddos!
Check this out for more: http://www.rhymes.org.uk/as_i_was_going_to_st_ives.htm
This site has a ton of nursery rhymes--might be fun to share some of this with your offspring!
Have a good one!
ps I know it doesn't help you much, but I'd give each of my pinkie toes (unless it made me walk funny for the rest of my life) to weigh 140 in a healthy and active manner for the rest of my born days;-)
I weighed in this morning.
From the comments I received on my last post, I am wondering: "What is my REAL weight?"
I figure my real weight is probably around 138.
I bought new running shoes 2 weeks ago and I feel too fat to use them, i.e. too fat for running. :-( You know -- I should use those shoes as incentive to staying on track.
I have been trying hard to keep the night time eating away. Last night was hard, but I asked myself if I wanted carrot sticks. I did not not, which meant that I was not truly hungry. So I did not eat..
I realize now, thanks to Catepillar, that when I get the feelings of wanting to eat for other reasons than hunger, I need find something to do to keep myself busy.
You see, I always thought that when I was experiencing an emotion or the pain of feelings from the past, that I needed to DO SOMETHING about those feelings.
I don't.
What I'm supposed to do is to find something to do - other than eat - until the feelings... fade? dissapate? pass? I"m not sure. But all along, I was thinking that in order to "feel" the pain and move beyond it, I needed to control it/them (the feelings).
That doesn't work, because my way to control feelings is to eat.
I'm not sure if therapy was supposed to teach me how to actually DEAL with the feelings -- if so, it didn't.
How does one deal with sadness?
How does one touch anger?
What does one do with frustration?
I don't know.
But what I DO know is that when these feelings come up, I have to find something to do other than to eat. I could exercise, read, shower, etc. That's all fine, but note that it doesn't actually DEAL with the emotion. I'm clueless.
However, once I learn to move beyond the emotional eating, this weight loss journey will become more cut-and-dry of "plan / action / result". I wonder if I will ever move beyond the emotional eating issue or if it's something I will need to be ever vigilant about.
Progress as of today: 40.5 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
I know that I will never be considered a non food addict or a non compulsive eater. I must always know I am so that I can be careful as I go about my day. Vigilance is key. And there is no shame in it because again, there is strength in knowing ourselves and knowing our limitations. Then we can focus on our strengths.
God has strength that far outmatches our own. Lean on Him. Trust Him. Use your faith to help you through. Don't just give lip service to it, use it, walk in it, trust it. I am a firm believer that we find ourselves when we stop trying to control everything and let go, and let God. Of course we have to do our due diligance, but we carry far too much around when we don't have to. I know I do. I know I am. And the only thing I can do is work on it every day.
I don't know your situation or your needs, but I feel the pain of your food addiction and compulsive eating. That makes us family. :)
You are only too far to run if you are 3 feet tall. Other than that, you're fine. Go running, you enjoy it. Give yourself a break. I love the idea of measuring your hunger with thinking if you want carrots. The same with the way we treat ourselves.. would you have this same judgement if it was me? like 'grumpy, you're too fat to exercise' or something like that. I say that because I judge my appearance so harshly the way i would NEVER do if it was anyone else's. And I wonder why. Of course we should treat others with love, but why not ourselves??
as for me, i've realized that i DO NOT at all have control over my eating. and it is still VERY volatile. i have work to do. and absolutely no direction right now. being away from school so long, like 3 weeks almost, it has been very hard to get back into it. and remember everything, and try to improve. i am a bit in disarray.
We all carry around baggage, whether we want to or not. It's always packed and ready to go - the trick is not picking it up. If you can't tell, I'm into music, so for me sometimes the quickest pick me up is thinking of 2 particular kick ass concerts that I've been to (one as a teen & one just last year). When I think of those times, I think of the music that moves me, the friends that screamed with me like idiots, the exilleration - and I know (in an instant) that Life IS Good. Just try to cling to the moments that made you feel "I can do anything" and not the "why bothers" - it is life altering................
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I totally agree that you should do what you enjoy - if you don't want to run - by all means - don't run. But I'm concerned about the bingeing, it is all the same weight. Just for today - you should feel good about your progress.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/04/2009:
do what you enjoy! of course!
i know...i must work on my intake throughout the day. today was just exhausting. and i had horrible choices at every meal. especially lunch, which left me famished only 2 hours later. perhaps i also had too much diet coke. ugh. better tomorrow.
biscottibody59 on 08/05/2009:
I hear you on the shoes--I wish I (or my feet) weren't so picky about 'em--I know I can't get away with wearing cheap shoes, so I don't even bother.
Have a good one Donkey!