Still here... Not a lot of time to write today. I'm very tired. I think the "mindful eating" has resulted in a calorie deficit, which is great for losing weight, but not so good on energy. I feel like I could sleep for a million years.
Some of it might be work stress. Trying to keep a light-hearted tone at work, keeping everything positive, but it wears me down. (Being negative or venting though, isn't the answer. That would not help build me up, if that makes sense.)
I have a volunteer appreciation breakfast tomorrow morning, for legal clinic, so while it's "fun" and "free food", right now, it seems exhausting.
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
Quick check-in:
One thing that I want to work on - REALLY work on - is getting rid of the careless eating. For example, when I prepare my food for work, I sneak in a handful of nuts, or a bite of cheese, or a bite of something else. NO. This is not mindful, intentional eating. It is a bad habit, and a good way for extra calories to sneak in without really being accountable to them.
MUST get back to weights. I do not want to lose the upper body gains that I achieved over the summer months doing push-ups. I WANT to do this.
A new yoga studio opened up near me. I could theoretically walk to it, but it would be much better if I rode my bike or drove. Unfortunately, they opened in August, and I just now learned of this, so I missed all of the deals. They do not offer free classes, and about half of the classes are during the workday, unfortunately, but they do offer some evening classes that looked good to me.
Most of the classes they offer are slower paced, stretching and relaxing, which is more of what I want/need from yoga, at least at this time. They do offer Chair Yoga, but I don't know if my husband would go by himself and if he had to pay for it.
They do offer "name your own price" meditation sessions, which that I might consider trying. I was thinking $5.
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
just like you want to get weights, i have come to a realization that i now need at least a bike in my apt. i don't think i want to try and get reimbursed for it though. i think it could cause problems if i try, so i will not try. (reimbursements are usually for copays or office visits...or if you can get a dr's note....i am not sure i want to be reimbrused for a bike right now.)
$5 seems fair if it's name your price. i think they would be just providing a room for you to do your own meditation in????
this yoga studio sounds amazing and i hope you can try it.
the reason i have to get a bike in my apt is that it works diff muscles from the stepper/walking/jogging and it's already getting darker faster and cooler soon....and i know my biking outside days after work are ending soon.
Logging in a little later than I might normally do on a day off, because I wanted to get my exercise and errands out of the way first. The weather could not be more perfect for a day off - it is warm, but not too hot, and sunny but with some clouds, so it's not burning hot.
I am almost done with the book about going grey, ironically titled "Going Gray". Early on in the book, she mentions that she is 49 (when she starts this "research" project, which ended up being this book), which is right where I'm at, so this is really one of those "right books at the right moment" situations. While I haven't finished it, I did want to mention that what really speaks to me in this book is that accepting one's greyness is really about self-acceptance. and embracing where one is at, at that moment.
Staying mentally young isn't about the color of my hair, but being open to new things, whether it's ideas, or technologies, or experiences. This is definitely something that I need to keep in mind for myself, because I tend to get stuck in my ways, which can be offsetting to those around me. Plus, being stuck in my ways means I might miss out on things that I would otherwise enjoy or benefit from. I am hoping that the next book I have waiting for me (Women Rowing North) will speak to this "un-stuck-ness". My goal is to work on my mindset or focus, so as not to be so stuck, but rather, to be more open. In turn, I hope that it will also develope some peace of mind or contentment.
Speaking of being more adventurous, keeping an open mind: Yesterday, while I was taking a walk, I started to think about how I think my running days are really over. With my back and hip issues, I'm thinking that it's time to start being more guarded and protective of my mobility, rather than trying to push my limits. (Granted, this is not being open-minded at all, but this was before I read those chapters in the Going Gray book...)
So of course, after dinner, my daughter mentions that she'd like to do a 5k race with me. Where were you 3 years ago when I could run??? UGH!!!! She doesn't really want to run or win any race, but rather wants the t-shirt and hot cider or hot chocolate at the end of the race, LOL.... There is an animal shelter that does a 5k event that I might consider. I would need more information, but I suppose it's something to try with her. It might be fun...
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
i am not ready to face the face that i may be at the turning point to in terms of actually getting better in my fitness....grrrr...
but, it is true that it's better to take care of your body than to beat it down.
there are still ways to strengthen...
I need someone orange in my life.
Happy September! A new month, a new season, new goals...
I am quite pleased to report that I got some good sleep last week! With the exception of Friday night into Saturday, because I stayed up too late, I got over 7 hours of sleep each night! Even my short night, I got 6.5 hours of sleep, which isn't too bad for a lack of sleep. This is something that I'd definitely like to to maintain or focus on.
I confess that I haven't thought of any concrete goals for this month, yet, but looking at my calendar, I see that there are many new potential adventures. Not this week but the following week, I will be attending "Yin Yoga" (free at the library). Also, the yoga studio is offering 3 free classes on Sundays this month, with their "trainee" instructors. I hope that I will have the courage to go back and try. I am also taking a half-day off on 9/11, so that I can do Chair Yoga (at the library) with my husband, seeing as Veterans' Yoga was canceled this month. Theoretically, with the exception of this first week of September, there is a free yoga opportunity available every week. Yay?
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
nice job getting into yoga and FREE!? how awesome is that!
My calendar seems pretty packed actually for the fall season! in October for instance, i am signed up for THREE 5k's! i am excited and will do some walking and some jogging for them. but by taking part in the 5k, it takes a lot of power out of my legs (yes, really), and i have to be more focussed on my planning on how i will still plan for my own cardio goals. however, a 5k is much shorter than 5 miles and i do think they will all go pretty well...being that it's still a lovely time of year, let's all keep up our goals and stay fit..
I remembered to weigh in this moring - LOL. Glad to see that the number is still within maintenance range. I know my weight was a lot lower at the beginning of the year, but this 131-136 range is just about right for me, at my heigh of 5 ft, 3 inches (sorry I do not know the metric conversion off the top of my head) with a large bone structure.
My pain subsided and reconciled eventually. I'm rather embarrassed to say that it was TOM cramping that woke me up early Thursday morning. TOM affects my joints too, with swelling, soreness and sciatica down my right leg. My back and hip problems are more vulnerable during TOM as well. I've been to my doctor, who says that other than the anemia (which I am managing with OTC vitamins), everything else is OK. My boss' daughter, who is a physical therapist, says that as long as I am pain free and able to move, then no other adjustment or action is required or recommended even - the old "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Once the hormone surge passes, I go back to normal, and thank goodness for that. I truly am grateful for that.
I had goals and errands for this morning, but then I realized that we have a parade going through town, and won't be able to get out of my subdivision until after the parade is over at noon.
I have a lot of thinking to do today... Goals, both inside and out. Really, seriously, it's time for some serious work. This burro needs to get back on track.
EVENING EDIT: Did well -- but no weight training! -- but found myself being NOT so mindful & intention when it came to eating. That is to say, I felt that I was munchie today, and reaching for food.
Some of this was from thinking about work stuff, some of which I wrote about but deleted, because I realize that I do what I do to survive at work and get my work done. My work environment is toxic, and unfortunately, sometimes that rubs off on me, too. I own up to my mistakes when I make them, and that's all I can do.
My work-life balance is out of whack again, so I'm going to use the remainder of the weekend to reset my focus.
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
I cannot even really believe it's September! omg. on a similar note to you, i do feel i've TOTALLY gotten off track! one of the good things - i have managed my pain better than maybe several of the summers preceeding this one.
but like you, i know i have to do more (cardio for me) training.
keep taking care of yourself.
I am taking this moring off from work to take Mr. Donkey to the Rheumatologist this morning. Just want to hear what she has to say.
My beautiful orange friend at Cat Yoga was adopted last weekend. I'm very happy for George... but kind of sad for myself.
The yoga studio was offering free "hot and fast" yoga. No surprise that I didn't sign up for that one, even if it was "free".
Did not do any weight training last night. After my evening bike ride to decompress, I just wanted to go to my room and hide. I went to bed in pain and woke up at 2:34a in pain. Took some Advil and Tylenol and went back to bed. Woke up feeling like I had attended the "hot and fast" yoga class...
Looking forward to the long holiday weekend here in the US.
Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!
We get a long weekend here in CA too this weekend! Even though I had a short week last week, I can't wait for this long weekend LOL.
lol, seems you are finding out what types of yoga are best for you ;)
were you nervous about the dr appt today? is that why you had pain last night? i hope it's gone now.
Daughter and I spoke to Mr. Donkey again last night, at dinner, about eating less meat. Mindful portion control went well again yesterday, although I realized, as I was putting chicken on my plate, that I probably took a little more than what I *should* have, if I'm looking to reduce the amount of meat I eat.
Yesterday, we had a client come in with her husband to re-do their wills, since so much had changed since they had their wills last drawn up. These are ex-neighbor's of the boss' daughter. They brought their youngest child, who looked to be about 3 or 4. Her husband looked to be in his-mid 30s. She looked much, much older. I told my boss as he stepped into his meeting to find out how old she was and if he thought I looked that old at my age, then I needed an intervention.
So I am 49, and this woman is 42. Nice Lady is 72 and she looks about the same as Lady Client - wow! Now granted, Nice Lady looks great for her age - people never think she's 72, but still! I asked my boss what the story was, and he said that Lady Client had recently lost a lot of weight. I asked if she had been sick, and he said, no, she just lost the weight. Of course, he didn't say that I looked as old as she did, so then I asked him if he thought I was fat, and he said, no, if I lost any more weight, we'd lose you to the wind.
(Talk about putting my boss on the spot -- poor man...)
Anyway, Nice Lady, and Mistakes Girl (who is 27) had a conversation about this client, and how this has completely thrown me for a tailspin, with my whole issue about dying my hair. Just when I had eased into self-acceptance, then something like THIS happens.
I am going to try to stay grounded and focus on today, and try not to think too much about things that in the long run, are inevitable or not important. Right?
Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!
so i don't get it...why does the lady look so old? maybe she doesn't eat well? usually even not eating well doesn't cause such a drastic difference. then again, who knows. maybe she had a gastric sleeve or bypass...that may cause serious loss of nutrients and possibly make someone look older (in my opinion!). does she not dye her hair?
i don't think you NEED to dye your hair. i do see people that don't on the subway. sometimes it looks nice natural, but it sure is popular to dye it. it does make you look younger, i have to say the truth.
I think dying can make one look younger but can also look artificial. I can probably still do it, because I don't have a lot of wrinkles (yet).
On the other hand, when I'm totally gray, I do plan to dye my hair something grand like bright blue or red, pink...
I do not think I'm being clear. Little old lady with brown dye job - not so good. Little old lady with bright pink hair - AWESOME!
So does mindful portion control mean choosing a portion of food that will satisfy you, or choosing a portion you think is the 'correct' size to eat?
My interest brought about my awareness in my own aging process. It's fascinating when it happens to you.
So the mindfulness is to (try to) make sure that I'm getting what I need and not overeating.
There ARE other factors involved, too, but not the main thrust of my goal (environmental, ethics).
Funny how I do not want to overeat with meat, but I have no issue with overeating on vegetables.
I also can agree with them, to some degree, because the grey is around my face, like highlights... just maybe not the color I would have chosen initially.
Just a quick check-in to say that mindful eating went well yesterday. I was very deliberate in the amount of meat I put on my plate last night, and then took no more.
Did not do weight training, but should get to doing some of that tonight.
Trying to convince my boss to take a mini-vacation (long weekend) up to the Detroit area, to buy his wife a motorized scooter.
Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!
I'm glad you are doing well. I really don't like to eat big servings any more of meat. like i was telling you. i took two meatballs with my lunch and even that seems like a lot. my friend Christine had made me some but she added some veggies into them and mozz cheese so they look bigger than they really are as there's more than meat in them. lately i don't eat a lot of meat so i am craving it. like at the water park, i was so happy to eat the huge hamburger. one of my goals for this Winter is to cook more meat/chicken.
i hope you are able to weight train. i had a good session last night...and i was reminded that i should prob not skip another day for awhile since last week's session was weak in some areas.
My boss likes to travel and do things. With his wife unable to walk much at all (she uses a walker now), this has curtailed his wanderlust greatly.
I'm training fewer muscle groups during my sessions, it seems. I need to get a couple of weight plates for my weight bench.
I bought the flavored sampler pack... so far... they are ok if you want a specific flavoring and are into flavored coffee creamers. After this though I will just buy the unsweetened plain flavor in bulk.
This is actually a really good way to do MCTs / bulletproof coffee. You can stick some in a ziploc or canister and put it in your purse for work/out and about. I still pour in a little of my dad's 2% milk, but at least the transfat and cholesterol profile is waay better.
I'll have to do some more research. I had a Amazon list going on, but then my husband went and ordered stuff for himself on his own. So now my list will have to wait. (Had a fight about it last night, now going for the silent burn...)
The wonderful thing about books & libraries is that whatever crisis you're going through, someone has probably already been through it and written a book about it.
My library never has any of the books that I want at the moment that I want it - I usually have to do an inter-library loan request - but I think this was meant to be, because I found a book yesterday written by a woman who has gone through this whole debate about coloring her hair! I hope you realize, it's not really about coloring the hair, but rather, one's approach and acceptance of the aging process.
I would have started the book last night, but I also checked out another book about aging, but more so towards the end of life -- and I still have the book I held onto, to finish up.
I admit that I'm fascinated by the whole process of aging. I think what really started it was my memberships to a couple of FB groups for "weight training over 50". It's mostly men, but there are quite a few women. However, some of the women are trying to look older than they really are. And that's fine if that's how they want to carry themselves, but I see some of these pictures and think that they're trying *too* hard - it looks so unnatural that it's almost embarrassing for them (although they obviously don't see it for themselves).
Back to my friend who got an old-lady haircut, I believe, from what my daughter told me, that she got this hair style for convenience. As her hair was getting greyer, it was also changing the texture, and this new haircut will be easier for her to manage/control. I get that. And her hair won't change any of the admiration that I still have for her.
So just as I made peace with this whole hair thing, my 19 year old daughter comes bouncing in with a box of hair-dye, wanting to change her hair and her life -- "happiness in a box". So I asked her how come she didn't get me a box - after all, I want to be happy too - but then I was OK that she did not get me one too.
(More to say in my responses to your comments in yesterday's entry...)
Goals:
totally agree about the books...lots of advice / authors in same situations or same emotions. books help me a lot to mentally "toughen up" or to expose myself to tough people/tough situations.
you've gotta share what you read about the woman & her "hair color crisis" as i'd like to know anything of interest..
i totally understand your friend and the chopping of her hair. after all, i did it myself. if my hair was thicker/smoother/more naturally fine with more keratin to keep it smoother, i'd have probably not cut it. but it tends to get damaged as i used to put it up a lot for exercise and i had a lot of split ends. i don't see myself struggling with long hair any time soon, either.
i've been getting more sleep like you also and i also am restarting weights tonight (took Sunday off / weekend off) as to relax a little more and give myself some extra down time to "feel good" in my attempt to not run myself into the ground (it worked).
I'll recap some thoughts, and then I want to talk to you all about something I'm having an awful time processing, and I don't know where to go with these feelings and thoughts.
RECAP:
I moved my evening exercise bike yesterday afternoon and it has made all of the difference in the world! Wow, I should have done that months ago. I can see the TV better, and I have more room for my weight bench and my morning exercise bike. I have not yet really done weights on the weight bench, but it's on my list of possibilities today.
I was most productive until about 10:30a today. Now I've had a breather for about an hour. I still have stuff to do on my list, but I've gotten done what I wanted/needed to do. The rest is optional, if I am looking for something to do. This includes weights and yoga (easy yoga, DVD at home).
Beautiful sunny day, cooler temperatures. Need to enjoy these days before winter...
OK, now on to what has been bothering me.
My daughter's best friend's mom is about my age, give or take a few years. Seriously, I'm 49, and I don't think she's much older, if she IS older. She might actually be 46, 47...
Anyway, she has had this beautiful full head of naturally curly hair, very dark brown or black, but like the rest of us, the grey hairs have been coming in, but I'd say at least half of her hair is still dark.
So my daughter tells me yesterday -- yes, this is how long I've been chewing on this, I was so shocked! - that Mrs. B got an old lady haircut! Rather than this beautiful mane of shoulder-length hair, now she has a shorter, bowl-cut, cap-like hairstyle! Because her hair is so full and curly, though, it looks like a short afro, almost. My daughter says that the shorter hair makes Mrs. B look like a little old-lady, with her hair looking much greyer with the short style.
Let me first say, there is nothing wrong with short hair styles for women. They can be cute, stylish, cutting-edge, etc. But to have a hairstyle that makes you look older, that brings out the grey.... I cannot handle this. And this is from someone who I've always admired as being modern, gutsy, forward-thinking.
I've been struggling with whether to color my hair or let it go grey. I have only grey in the front, framing my face. The rest of it is still brown. I stopped dying it because my hair is thinning out and I was afraid that the harsh chemicals were causing more harm than good. But now, seeing one of my PEERS turning into a "little old lady" --- ACK! I'm freaking out!
Please understand, I have no problem with grey hair. If my whole head were grey or even 50-50, I'd be OK with it. I don't like where I have these whisps and patches of grey. Once I have more grey, I do not think I'll have a problem keeping it grey.
I know some of you here are older than I, and therefore, have had the experience and wisdom of having gone through this already. I guess emotionally, I didn't think this would happen for another few years??? Why would anyone willing want to look older than they are?
Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!
That is to say, I'm sure her feelings do get hurt and stuff, but at the end of the day, she's very comfortable in her own skin. At least that's how she comes across to me.
I also like your comment about how it takes away the natural look away. Yep 100%
maybe she was just sick of all her hair so she cut it in the summer for ease? for instance, the only real reason i keep my hair short is that it's not really wavy or totally straight and i have trouble maintaining it, so i cut it because it's easy for me to get ready in the mornings. that's the reason.
maybe she did the same.
i am almost 37 and do not have many grays. i started getting them a couple years ago, but, they have stayed for now at minimum. i was dying my hair with highlights to cover them up, but now i don't care again because for now it's just a few.
I suppose I should embrace my grey highlights. I think that's what I should do.
However, I do OK with a cute bob, just under the chin, as long as it's all one length. I've been toying about going back to that, but for now, I'm going to keep it long.
And if I don't, just do a shampoo, and I'm back to Donkey brown (with grey).
I might pick up a few kits of this stuff and give it a try...
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Possibly the seasons changing...? Days are shorter, weather is cooler. I agree about the venting...venting works for a little while...and then it becomes something we flat out focus on.....Maybe focus on the fact that you get to go home?
Yesterday (Friday), was so bad, at around 10:30a, I asked outloud, "Is it 4 o'clock yet?" Just one bomb after another... Even my boss made a comment about it.
Reflecting back, I do think it was the stress from work that was causing the fatigue.
Horn_of_plenty on 09/08/2019:
i've gotten into those "spells" where i crave to sleep a long time. last night,i was able to actually do it. was really tired after lots of exercise walking around NYC. went to bed around 9pm...woke up a few times to cramps...but slept all in all from 9pm-7am or so.
sometimes i guess after a week of slacking on sleep, it feels good to catch up (my opinion).
yes, anyone can be negative / whine about work. and trust me, everyone does, everywhere. yes, it will not help much. you can always write it here there, just to get it.
i also get weary on social things like your volunteer clinic, it is sometimes and not all the time which is good..perhaps schedule it so afterwards in your schedule is "you time"