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Donkey - Monday Oct 11, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

My arms are a little sore this morning, but nothing in my legs.  I have not been able to feel any sort of post-exercise muscle ache in my legs for quite some time. (This is not the same thing as the achy throb that I feel in my knee, which is from either arthritis or a Baker's Cyst.)   

No yoga tonight.  Instead I am having a Zoom chat with the 2 ladies I volunteer with at the Legal Clinic.  This is yet another month that we are not having the clinic, and I kind of want to know why, since the last time we chatted, we canceled September, but said we'd meet in October.  Except that we haven't.  Also, I just want to see how the other ladies are doing in their lives.  I will use the time that would have gone towards yoga, to do evening chores and get ready for bed, so that after our Zoom, I can get to bed reasonably on time.

I am not quite sure of what to expect at work today.  We should be slowing down, but the weekend was very nice weather, so it may be another busy day/week.  Gosh I hope not. The Boss' wife had a medical procedure on Friday, to help with her knee pain (injecting a substance into her knee joint to add cushioning, so that it's not bone-on-bone pain), so I'm eager to hear how she did with that, especially if something like that might be in my eventual future (see right knee comment above).

I'm really hoping for a day of no drama.  I just want to float above it all.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

KathyBlue on 10/11/2021:
I don't feel that brutal soreness ever since I take creatine monohydrate after my workouts. I put a dose in my coffee or yogurt or something (as it's a tasteless powder) and I feel it genuinely helps big time. I hope you get a better, more calm week ahead, girl! :) Cheers!

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
I truly am hoping for a calmer week ahead. I must remember and focus on this. Once Male Co-Worker comes back, the drama will increase a little bit more on this, but then things will settle down again until the end of next week, when he goes on another vacation.

I've heard about creatine. I haven't made up my mind to start that up.

bearcountrygg on 10/11/2021:
Sounds like a pretty good day...and ending with a zoom call to chat...nice. My sister in law had those shots anf has been getting them for several years......D went straight to a knee surgery to just observe...and a year later ended up with the replacement ....3 and a half years ago and for the last couple of years he rarely thinks about it.....sister in law seems satisfied with the shots for now.

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
I'll write more about this later, but the Boss' wife ended up NOT getting the shot that she was supposed to get. There was a LOT of drama at my Boss' house on Friday, and maybe into Saturday.

Horn_of_plenty on 10/11/2021:
also there is knee replacements, i wonder if that is something the boss' wife considered but since she has extensive health issues, must have decided to forego it.

glad you aren't too sore.

this week, our weather will improve day by day until 79F on Friday, cannot wait!

i know you don't, but i personally am loving the warmer weather coming! :)

let us know how today goes! :)

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
The boss' wife cannot have a much-needed knee replacement, because she smokes over 2 packs of cigarettes a day and doesn't have the respiratory strength to undergo the anesthesia.

I would give today a C+. The Zoom meeting was the best part of it, I think.

PlayingQuietly on 10/11/2021:
wishing you a drama-less monday

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
Overall, the drama level was not too bad. I was a little crabby, but a lot of that was caused by the discomfort in my arms and neck. Once that went away in the afternoon, it got much better.

Donkey - Sunday Oct 10, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5


Dear new DD members,

In the past, I have written about several adventures that Donkey has tried, only to quickly realize that she was WAY over her head, and yet stuck in a situation to be endured.  Donkey Disaster #1 involved a "free" yoga class that she "paid" for dearly with her dignity.  I have completely blocked Donkey Disaster #2 from my memory, although I know that it does exist.  I am not about to look for this tale in my archives, but you are more than welcome to, if you like.  (Let me know the date of the entry, if you find it, LOL.)

And now our story begins...

Because Saturday's gym workout was out of the routine, I decided that this would be a good opportunity to take the "Strength" class at the gym, that I have written about previously.  (I was thinking that taking a class would be a good way to make friends at the gym.  Ha ha ha ha...)

The instructor, Rebecca, was very approachable, friendly, and enthusiastic.  Since I hadn't taken any classes before, I wasn't sure how it worked, and she was happy to help me out.  I noticed that after she helped me, a few minutes later, another newbie walked in asking the same thing. So that was nice to know that I wasn't the only newbie.

There were a few ladies who had obviously taken the class before, because they started readjusting the workout stations that each one of us was assigned to.  I had no idea what to do, so I didn't do anything.

The class starts and Rebecca starts cranking up this aerobics instrumental music (sort of electronic, sort of disco, you know what I'm talking about) really loud, to get us all pumped up.  She has a headpiece microphone and she's like, "Are you ready to workout?" and starts into an aerobics warm-up, which I really do not like.  This is supposed to be strength training only, and I've already done my warm-up on the elliptical.  Is it too late to leave the class without being noticed?  No can do.  Better to just bite the bridle and make the best of it.

I equate this realization to that of when you have stepped in doo-doo, say to yourself "uh-oh", and realize there is nowhere to go, without making a complete mess everywhere.  I would also equate this to when you're in a social situation and take a bite of something that is completely unpalatable to you. 

So little Donkey here, not to be discouraged, does her best, but quickly realizes that she is not a class person.  Donkey doesn't do Zumba, aerobics, step class, etc.  It's hard enough to step into a yoga class.  Just not her thing, not who she is.  No way, no how.

The class was a moving rotation of lower/upper/core.  We'd do squats, then bicep curls, then sit ups.  Then another 3 exercises, and so on - for an entire hour.  Donkey wondered why the clock was moving so slow, when she was moving so fast to keep up.

Also, let me just put this out there:  Because we were in an enclosed studio, I wore my mask the whole time.  I was the only one to do this.  NOT EASY, but I want to show everyone at the gym that it IS possible to wear your mask and workout.  People probably think I'm a freak, and that's OK.  Little do they know that I'm really a Donkey (insert lightening and thunder here).

If I thought I could feel yesterday's session with the personal trainer, believe me - I was REALLY feeling yesterday's workout during the class. 

At one point, the yoga instructor from the class in the next door studio, came in and asked Rebecca to turn down the music.  After that, it wasn't *quite* as motivating to move, but I could still hear the music and the instructor.  Hopefully it helped the other class too.  It's hard to relax into Yin with a boom-boom-BOOM pulse going on next door.

I was able to last through the entire class, although towards the end, I was grabbing lighter weights.  It helped that the lady in front of me was about 20 years younger and knew what she was doing (and much stronger than I, as she was going for the heavier weights and more challenging modifications).  The lady on my left faced backwards the whole time, watching the instructor from the mirrors on the back wall; the lady to the right of me was a little older than I am, and did many more (easy) modifications.  Also I was *quite* impressed that there were 2 MEN in the class, older, but nevertheless, they were there, and I give them credit for that.

We were all so wiped out after the class, that nobody was talkin' to nobody.  Oh my word...  I think I'd have to take that class 100 times before I get to know any of the "regulars".  Even "Rebecca" was a substitute, and she teaches other classes that I have no interest in taking in the foreseeable future.  I suppose I *could* try the class again with the regular instructor, Sherri V., but I don't think so.

But now, dear DD readers, you can see for yourself why Donkey doesn't make many changes to her routine.  How does she keep getting herself into Donkey Disaster situations like this?


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/10/2021:
The first thing that comes to mind for me is not that you were in over your head but that the others had taken that class before and knew what to expect.....probably many times before and they were once new to it like you were.....If you choose to go to that class again you will find it easier the next time most likely...Personally I'm impressed...you made it through the entire class...like you said...you considered making an escape...but you didn't......now making friends may be difficult as like you say...exhaustion was taking over after class.......but you did it.....and you can choose to go back and do it again and not be shocked at what it was about......reminds me of when I signed up for 2 college level computer classed...had never touched or owned a computer and had no idea where to even find the on button.....one class I dropped immediately because we were told we were all going to make oral reports on the parts of a computer the following week and I'd never even seen one in person before.... left that class and went straight to the office to drop that one......I did take the other class and only for the help of a stranger sitting next to me did I even pass that one with a D.......eventually we got a computer...after the class...LOL.....I guess my big question is...are you going to go back to that class again now that you know the difficulty level....you would surely raise you strength in that class.

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
Interesting comments. My first reaction was to say, No way I'm going back. But after re-reading and reconsidering, I am going to leave this door open. I will not be a regular at this class, at least for any time soon, BUT the next time I feel like I want a change, a challenge, to be around people, I *will* do this class again for those reasons.

I also know now, FOR SURE, that I would not sign up for a Zumba class, or anything like that. However, if they were offered on the weekends, (which currently, they are not), I might take other strength training classes. Unfortunately, the ones I'm interested in are only offered during the week, during the day. This Strength class is the only one that is offered during the weekend.

Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2021:
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your comments and advice regarding the right and in general. i appreciate them and the time you took to offer them to me by writing it all out, thank you.

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
Oh you are very welcome :-) I like "chatting" with you on this forum.

Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2021:
I wrote you back on your entry for 10/9 yesterday and will write more again soon :)

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
Answered :-)

Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2021:
I also wrote you back on your entry prior to this one here..

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
Commented as well - thank you!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2021:
Re the mask, i would have worn it also. here in queens, we all wear our masks - food stores and everywhere indoors. it is ASSUMED to wear your mask. sorry that in your area of your hometown, it is not the majority's idea to wear a mask at the gym! i have to tell you, i was in another town on Long Island a couple weeks ago, in the nighttime, stopped at a supermarket - many not wearing masks. it def depends on the town/politics of the town, etc. it's unfortunate some people do not care about others enough to wear a mask.

idk, i don't call this at all a Disaster, Donk! i have taken a few weird classes out of my league too, but this strength class actually sounds quite intriguing. it's out of your comfort zone but seems to be a good class. so it was really different from what you are used to, but you made it thru! i can't say it was a disaster but a super success for you trying and staying. i think if you really hated it, you wouldn't have stayed? i wouldn't have stayed. it sounds ok. good mix of clients in there! nice job trying it. :) i know it can be really hard to try these things.

i once took a kickboxing class a few times, totally not my level or good with kicking a bag hard with my legs. totally not right for me. did it 2 times out of the 4pack? coudln't even finish!

i also did that weird tai chi in college...that class i couldn't figure out the moves or any of it for the life of me!

but you tried this; and now you can make a better judgement about it.

also, i have done a step or aerobics class, in college, i was nervous and felt out of place too...those are also hard-core classes in terms of cardio!

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
I live in a county of nutters, thinking they know more than doctors. I could go on, but I won't.

You're right - it's not a disaster if I tried it AND lasted through it. In that respect, this was actually a Donkey Success, even if it wasn't my cup of tea (as Maria put it).

Maria7 on 10/10/2021:
From a little different perspective, I am inclined to say that maybe this just isn't your 'cup of tea', so to speak. What works for one person doesn't always work for everyone. I think you do fantastic with your yoga and maybe you are more comfortable with that? I'd stick with what I felt comfortable with, myself, but like most are saying, if you go back and try the class again, it might be a little easier, since you would at least, know what to expect.

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
Yes, putting it that way is more of a "half full glass" approach. And actually, that describes what happened much better than the way I portrayed it. Fitness classes just really aren't my cup of tea.

Still, I think it was definitely an experience that I'm glad I tried. Otherwise, I would never know. AND I may just go back to it again, here and there, just to mix things up, or if I need a change. It also might be helpful if I am feeling isolated or lonely. Even if I speak to no one, and no one speaks to me, sometimes I just need to be in a group of people.

Donkey - Sunday Oct 10, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

 I met with the personal trainer yesterday.  It went well.  Rather than having 1 long free session, he advised that we split it up into 2 sessions, with yesterday being upper body and next week being lower body.  I see what he's doing there, getting potential clients to think, "Gee I like meeting with this guy on a regular basis" -- and you know what?  Yeah, I would like meeting with this guy on a regular basis, for new ideas, critique on form, and answers to questions.  So I was OK with that.

We worked upper body.  I explained that I do most of my working out at home, so he focused on showing me upper body exercises at the gym on a machine, and then the "at-home" adaptation.  I appreciate that approach, and I figured out all on my own, why it's much nicer to have the expensive cable machines at the gym, rather than resistance bands at home.  It's not good or bad to use the bands at home -- it's just a different feeling and approach.  That's good knowledge to have, because having access to a gym isn't always an option.

After our session, I didn't do any more, but went and sat in the steam room, before cleaning up.  I am feeling the workout in my triceps today.  My right shoulder is a little sore, but I think that's because I came home and scrubbed & steamed 2 big rugs in my house (with a hand-held nozzle).  Can't wait to see what the lower-body workout is like next week.

However, one thing did occur to me last night.  I was reflecting on my session and felt very comforted by the guidance.  Then I realized, though, that I am comforted by external validation that "everything is going to be all right".  Part of my problem with making changes is the self-doubt that I have that *I* will be OK, I will be able to handle the change, I will be able to make the changes I need and come out OK.  And meeting with the trainer kind of woke me up to realizing that here I am again, seeking validation from an outside source, and not from within myself.

No one can fix me.  Only I can fix me.  I am the only one who will take care of me, to make sure I am OK.  It has to come from me.

I plan to write more here, about my day today, later this morning or possibly early afternoon.  PLEASE SEE NEXT ENTRY.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/10/2021:
One thing about making a change is that if it turns out that we don't like the change...we can change it again and again until it does work for us. I also agonize over past mistakes......I wish I could turn that off......... so far like you..I still don't know how to fix myself.....but I keep hoping....I think my lack of self confidence is probably typical for many people.....and I do find people that are confident probably have more issues in their past than we have,......we tend to remember our mistakes......and while that will likely help stop us from making many of them again.....it does show that we learned from them.....but what would really work good for people like us is to also remember the good we have done......and I suspect that the good you have done far outweighs the mistakes.....we beat ourselves up for mess ups and don't take pride in our accomplishments...we brush those aside and go back to what we don't like about ourselves.......You are a great wife, mother, employee and friend and sometimes you just need to be reminded of that.....and remember that we all have a past...good and not so good.....that's human nature.......sometimes it just works to fake it till we make it......put on a smile and get at it......

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
See, this is the wise words I'd miss if you left DD forever.

You're absolutely right. I think you nailed it on the head about the lack of confidence.

Each mistake is an opportunity to learn and grow.

bearcountrygg on 10/10/2021:
It is nice to hear that you enjoyed your workout.....and since you are now feeling it.....it did work!!

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
Yes, I would agree - and I can't wait for the lower body workout, since I'm stronger in my legs.

Maria7 on 10/10/2021:
Sounds like you had a really good work out!

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
I enjoyed learning some new moves. However, I'm waiting on getting resistance bands for home. That might be a Santa thing, if you know what I mean.

PlayingQuietly on 10/10/2021:
I often silently say "thanks" as a form of validating/affirmation when I do well at something: exercise session, make a meal, make progress on a video game on my game console, finish a novel, crochet/knit an hour, tick off another box on my to-do-list, etc. Especially since I don't have much in person contact while pandemic is going on. (And honestly I don't know what it will take for me to be in public gatherings/shops ~ because so many aren't adequately vaccinated and frankly it scares me) Anyway the point is I'm finding ways to validate I'm okay too from the inside instead of from others.

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
Ooo, that's a good idea to try! I will try doing this! (The hard part, for me, will be remembering to do it.)

Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2021:
I gotta say, nothing about you "needs fixing!" You are special as you are. of course we can gain knowledge and experience as well as better ways to act, react or adapt...but you are just right as you are this moment.

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
I just gotta believe this from the inside. It was shocking to me, how comforting I found the external validation to be, even if I'm not entirely 100% convinced the session was what I was needing or looking for either.

Donkey - Saturday Oct 09, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Happy Saturday!!!  Remembered to weigh in today, and I am grateful that the number isn't higher.  After Thursday's "food fit" and last night's take-out dinner (after Chair Yoga), I'm surprised it wasn't higher.  

I was thinking about my goals this morning, as I was getting my breakfast together, and I realize that I *could* go a lot further if I was more disciplined (focused) on the eating part of the equation.  I don't care for the phrase of "eating clean" but rather, if I ate more whole foods, I'd probably get closer to the results I'm wanting.  Definitely food for thought, especially in considering my next steps forward.

I had not realized how heavy getting my COVID vaccine replacement card was weighing on my mind, but after I picked up my card at the county building, I felt SO much better/happier/relaxed.  I got to work only 15 minutes late, but apparently I missed a real mess.  Something was missed on a sale file that wasn't caught until closing, and it was a real scramble to get that cleared up.  We were very fortunate that we were able to get this cleared, or the seller would not have gotten his proceeds money from the sale until the matter WAS cleared.  That would have been BAD.

It's too bad that this all fell on Mistakes Girl's lap (because I was out and Male Co-Worker is on vacation), because all three of us missed this.  I was told there will be a meeting about this, about the allocation of responsibilities and work tasts --- ha ha, we'll see if the Boss actually follows through with this.  But I've been saying for weeks now that we need a serious look at who is doing what at work, because it is NOT balanced, and it is NOT fair.

And frankly, Male Co-Worker is getting too old/lazy for his job.  He's not able to keep up, not willing to take on aspects (extra work) of his job (sales files) if it involves more work, which it does.  So rather than calling him out on it, the extra work gets shoved onto someone else. 

Chair Yoga was really nice last night.  I was so proud of Husband!  He did a good job and was able to keep up with the class.  He is probably the most compromised in range of motion, although these are all disabled veterans, so everyone has their issues.  And I'm so glad that I'm invited to go along too, as a spouse.  I got a lot out of the class, too!    I don't use yoga as a "workout" but rather as a relaxation and restorative tool, and I love it.  Why don't I do this more often for myself?

Mr. Donkey and I treat our Chair Yoga nights as a "date night" sort of thing, so we got Culver's take-out and brought it home.  I had a beef pot roast sandwich, intending to only eat half of it, but ended up eating all of it. Oh the bun that the sandwich was on was so delightfully light and fluffy.

Then I had too many fries with that.  So like I said, I was happy that my weigh-in wasn't a higher number today, from the salt and carbs that aren't a usual part of my diet.

Changing things up a little bit this weekend:

Meeting with personal trainer at 1pm.  I'll get to the gym earlier and do some cardio.  I'm not sure if this is 30 minutes or an hour session.  I'm just showing up and going with the flow.  If it's a full hour of weights, then I might not do the upper body machines today.

Daughter is working 7a-4pm this weekend, so we will see her for dinner!  And I will have time to visit with her!  Today AND tomorrow!  Yay! (And so if I wanted to take a class at the gym on Sunday morning, I certainly could do so without feeling rueful that I would be missing time with her.)

Probably will shampoo a couple of stairs today.

Definitely want time to read this weekend.

And then there's the usual laundry, birdfeeder filling, etc.

Also, just want to put this out there as a Proud Donkey Moment:  I had a quiet minute at work yesterday, so I looked ahead at the calendar for the remainder of the year.  I put myself down for taking a long weekend starting with Veterans' Day on November 11th.  YES!


Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/09/2021:
you are in my thoughts as i didn't comment on yesterday or today...will get to it later! :)

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
I value your insights and opinions greatly :-) But I also understand that your time is very limited, so it's OK if you do not comment, especially since I tend to write a lot.

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
I value your insights and opinions greatly :-) But I also understand that your time is very limited, so it's OK if you do not comment, especially since I tend to write a lot.

PlayingQuietly on 10/09/2021:
You had a lot going on, things weren't as interesting for me especially for a Friday Night. I wanted to watch a good movie on tv (I love film noir on the Turner Classic Movies channel) but all they had were comedies last night. I like Dramas and Film Noir with my laptop on the couch (I'll play free games like microsoft daily solitaire, or hidden object games or sudoku puzzles) anyway, last night nothing grabbed my attention in the movie department... I kept checking the clock 'til midnight then went to bed. Maybe tonight I'll finish crocheting a Navy Blue corner 2 corner afghan and with a movie of my liking.

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
Oh, my Friday nights usually aren't that "action-packed" - LOL! Especially since I usually work OT on Fridays, trying to get everything wrapped up for the weekend, so that Mondays aren't so brutal. It makes Husband mad when I do that, but he doesn't understand what it feels like to come in to a ton of emails, new contracts, panic phone calls from the weekend, and an annoying Boss that wants to ask everyone what they did for the weekend, when really all he REALLY wants to do is tell you about HIS weekend....

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
I wish I knew how to crochet. I knit instead (self-taught), but my hands start to ache after 10 minutes of knitting, so it's very limited.

Jacky82020 on 10/09/2021:
A Proud Donkey Moment! aw….. so cute.

I find you remarkably self disciplined!

Cool the chair yoga is going so well. Yay! Don’t forget your yoga socks. lol

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
I could have used yoga socks on Friday. Good point and I'm glad you mentioned this for next month. I will bring socks. (I probably will anyway, because it should be cooler out to warrant sock-wearing every day.)

We were in a community room with a cement or tile floor that wasn't the cleanest. Normally, we're in the "Music Room" of this community center building, and that room is carpeted, so it's not as "icky" to the feet. (Probably more germs in the carpet than the tile floor though, come to think of it...)

bearcountrygg on 10/09/2021:
I'm with you Donk...I also know hat eating healthier foods will get the results we want...I also would not be able to eat clean" totally...I like desserts too much...and living in misery isn't my goal......but adding more fresh produce for example will take away hunger, while adding few calories and we won't have as much hunger for the other stuff which probably should be eaten less often anyway....plus.....I know I feel better when I eat more produce anyway....

Donkey on 10/10/2021:
Yeah, I don't know if it's worth giving up desserts.

It was my intention to start being more strict with healthy eating, after meeting with the personal trainer yesterday, but then came dinner and that thought when out the window.

I only remembered later on, "oh yeah, I said I was going to be more strict about eating" - ha ha ha!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2021:
weight is weird. we think it'll go up so much after one meal, but it always takes several days of poor eating; and THEN SEVERAL DAYS after those days, for the weight to reflect that. it's like we overeat and we want instant gratification of weight gain, but it doesn't actually show up until we are eating well, again.

i know what you mean by unequal division of responsibilities. i have seen different people at work handle very different amounts of work. like i've always said to you, thank gosh you are a "doer" or "worker," as there's no way i believe you could be let go bc you def go above and beyond. (you def do a great job.)

the sandwich sounded so good, for dinner. maybe next time, instead of the whole, eat the whole bun but save half the meat? and fries, you could save some and take them home? or you could put some in a napkin and smash them so you do not eat them, soon after the meal comes. like you, i sometimes cannot stop myself. another option is to get a salad wtih dinner, to help fill up a little on lower cals; so you can save some of the sandiwch/fries for another time at home.

i look forward to YOU RELAXING on this long weekend coming up for you in a month! woohoo, enjoy that when it comes.

keep up the great work.

Donkey on 10/11/2021:
I've given up trying to figure out the scale. There have been times where I had a big dish of ice cream the night before weigh-in, and then dropped a pound or 2. Go figure! That's one helpful thing about the progress graph we have here on DD. My Fitbit also has a similar graph, and as long as it's at a consistent level, then that's maintenance, and that's what I want.

The sandwich thing... well, actually it was more of the fries thing. Trying to clean up leftovers, I think, and just ate too many. I had looked up the approximate nutrition on the sandwich beforehand, so I knew I'd be OK with eating it all. I just hadn't accounted for the extra carbs, fat, calories, salt with the fries. Oops. Just didn't feel like restricting, and was overly hungry from a late dinner.

The long weekend in November might not even be a hiking trip. It might be just staying at home, too, and that's fine, too. I have a book of hiking trails, and I want to flip through it to see if there's anything that we might want to do, if we can. If not, then stay home and relax. A-OK either way.

Donkey - Friday Oct 08, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 131.0

Well,  I don't know what to say.  Yesterday was an eating day, and physically, I really regret that now.  Calorie-wise, I would say it was probably the equivalent of having a large dessert at a restaurant.  My metabolism revved up overnight and I was VERY warm (uncomfortably so) while trying to sleep.  The hotness woke me up a couple of times.  Then I woke up with a sour stomach.  

I chalk it up to a "refueling" day - it was some strawberry Special K cereal (dry) and then chunky peanut butter, oh and peanuts at work - and I'm not going to beat myself up over it, really.  All I can do is move forward. What I ate though was probably more than what I needed to "refuel". 

I lost my vaccination card for the COVID vaccine shots, so I have to go up to the county Dept. of Public Health to pick up a new card.  Husband is driving me there, and then driving me to work, so that he can pick me up tonight, to go to Chair Yoga. I will get to work late, but oh well, work can wait.

Seriously, none of anything matters to me, other than to get my weekend started.  Woo-hoo!

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 10/08/2021:
You’ll be fine. We all have our eat too much days. We made copies of that card, not sure if that would be acceptable if ever needed.

Donkey on 10/09/2021:
I think a copy or my phone picture might be helpful if we have to show proof in an informal situation - like a restaurant, for example. (I don't think we'll ever get to that point. Too many nutters in the county I live in.)

My apprehension was that my overeating was so close to weigh-in day. So more harm on a psychological level, more than a physical level. But -- that's part of the journey, isn't it? Shedding the denials and embracing the reality.

PlayingQuietly on 10/08/2021:
I have 3 lb dumbbells & 10 minute timer planned in a few minutes. (Chair Yoga) Thanks for a little reminder to move my body.

Donkey on 10/09/2021:
I have never done yoga with weights before. So there's something for me to try!

It's amazing how much a little extra weight can make a big difference in a workout. (Thinking along the lines of hand-held weights while walking.) I hope you enjoyed your chair yoga session!

horn_of_plenty on 10/09/2021:
Re below last comment, Yes you know I also enjoy weight training goals / practice to cardio goals. It’s simply a running approach he learned from someone. Not my goal either. But a healthy way it seems, to make sure you aren’t overdoing by staying below 80% heart rate

horn_of_plenty on 10/09/2021:
I have been there with the heat / sweating from overeating and not being able to sleep - you’ll remember that for awhile and know it’s not worth it

Donkey - Thursday Oct 07, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 131.0

Umm... so yesterday, I was talking to Mistakes Girl about staffing, changes, and such (related to my discussion with the Boss, but not about my private discussion with him), and she goes and drops the bomb on me that she & her husband will be starting very soon -- a week or 2 -- to try to conceive, again, after her previous loss.

I mean, I always knew that they would try again, after the doctor-recommended 6 month healing period, but for some reason, I had it in my brain that this was going to happen in December or January, not October.  Wow, already?  I had actually been playing around with the idea of asking her if she could wait to start trying until January, to help us left behind at work.  Of course, I would never actually ask her to do that - it's just me thinking about timelines and such.  I know that she may not get pregnant right away, but once she knows, I *KNOW* that she will immediately put herself on bedrest.  Can't say that I blame her one bit - I would do the same thing.  But OMG, I cannot pick up her workload and manage mine at the same time.  New Gal will have to learn fast, is all I have to say.  And she (New Gal) is nowhere near ready.  

I'm sure all of this will happen in the month of January, when my Boss is in Florida and won't be able to hire anybody.  

Oh well, I'm not going to waste too much time worrying or thinking about this.  It is what it is, and what will be, will be.  One day at a time, just do the work I've been given for the day, breathe deep...

I have not heard from my yoga instructor since Monday.  I have texted her twice and sent her an email, with no response.  I'm presuming no Zoom yoga tonight, so I plan to spend the time cleaning the stair carpeting, and just doing some light cardio.

Yesterday, I did a little more jogging during my lunchtime walk.  I was talking to Associate Attorney about my jog on Tuesday, and said, essentially, that it will be a  while before I do that again, and then I did it right after that, just to prove to myself (???) that I could?  or maybe it was to spite AA?  Actually, I know what it was:  I was really busy, took my lunch late, and had to get back to the office ASAP.  So I jogged to cut the time short while getting my steps in at the same time.

I was crabby when I came home, and I was a little short with Husband.  Poor Husband.  He was trying hard, and doing a good job.  I think it was mostly just fatigue and knee pain on my part.  I'm not the most patient person when I'm tired & in pain.  My knee feels fine today, and I had a good sleep, so at least today is off to a good start.  We'll see how long that lasts at work...

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 10/07/2021:
Does the knee hurt when you jog? Hope not! My muscle tear was weird, I could do everything except go easily up & down stairs.

Very strange, IMO, she’d try to conceive so soon if the physician suggests otherwise. I wouldn’t too that. I’d hedge my bet for the best possible outcome. Hope she doesn’t bail suddenly & overburden our sweet Donkey.

I thought about you Monday while in my favorite Walmart aisle: CLEARANCE. Closing out some nice yoga mats for $25, & these funny looking yoga socks for $5. Never knew they had special yoga socks. They had 5 individual toes, like gloves, only for your feet. Also little dotted rubber spots. All over. Even on the toes. Looked tight & uncomfortable to me, but then I don’t do yoga. Did a hundred years ago. Used a book, no classes.

Donkey on 10/08/2021:
My knee does not hurt while running. It sometimes hurts after running, but then again, it often hurts just own its own. I'm not sure if it's a baker's cyst or arthritis. CBD salve and Aleve help. The CBD salve on its own helps a LOT.

I've never heard of yoga socks, but apparently that's a thing! The grip on the bottom of the socks is essential!

horn_of_plenty on 10/07/2021:
Wrote you back below... :)

horn_of_plenty on 10/07/2021:
maybe tell mistakes girl to tell boss, lol, maybe a bad idea if she doesn't make it again with a pregnancy!

Donkey on 10/08/2021:
Not sure if that's any of his business... or mine, to butt in like that. (I already struggle with an office reputation for being bossy and nosey.)

You're right though, she could miscarry or take a while to get pregnant.

horn_of_plenty on 10/07/2021:
maybe tell boss you feel there needs to be more help. perhaps someone under you...that you can start to work with now...then start to build down to a 3-4day workweek in january?

maybe you can be paid the same for 4 days. and he can hire someone else to help you. i think you should get a raise, to help you with the diminished day of salary, if you are dropping to the 4 days..

Donkey on 10/08/2021:
The Boss feels certain that we're headed into the winter "slow down", so he won't be hiring anyone else. It's almost certain that New Gal will be promoted to full-time, though.

If Mistakes Girl becomes pregnant and can take the baby to term, we will not see her again at the workplace, at least for nearly a year. Even with a "winter slow-down", we cannot cope with her gone.

IDK, I'm worried, but there's nothing I can do until it happens.

Brett on 10/07/2021:
Take care of the knee and let the marathon practice wait.

Donkey on 10/08/2021:
LOL, you're very right. :-) I would REALLY regret it if I pushed it too hard and then ended up hurt.

Horn_of_plenty on 10/07/2021:
glad your knee is better today. one of the 50! year olds at work, the big boss, called a project executive, is into fitness. he has a few extra pounds, but at a first look you couldn't tell right away because he also has a generous amount of muscle. but you see the extra fat on his neck a little and body...if he lost it, he'd be seriouly built as he does have a lot of muscle too.

anyways, he is trainnig to run more so he can do a triathlon. he is running and increasing distance, as long as his heart rate doesn't go above 80%...and that is how he is training. interesting. so, once the heart rate goes up, he will slow down. this is his way of running for longer periods. he says that by running slower, he is making more energy...and can go for a longer period/distance. so, it's training specifically to do distance, rather than just for speed...he's very smart and into all this. i really don't think i could be bothered to train like that! he has a lot of patience with EVERYTHING.

Donkey on 10/08/2021:
Wow, that is an interesting way to approach marathon running. I had not heard of this method before.

Long-distance running goals are not on my horizon by any means. I don't see this changing either. I think I could say, now, that I enjoy weight training goals more than running goals.

Jacky82020 on 10/08/2021:
Yep, yoga socks must be a thing if Walmart has them. A friend keeps yapping about Slippery Elm, a supplement. Must be a popular thing too. I just saw it at Walmart. LOL

Donkey - Wednesday Oct 06, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 131.0

I had a nice, candid discussion with my Boss yesterday, and I covered all of the topics that I wanted to, in a way that I think was light and yet honest.  We discussed the mortgage company's future, and if indeed it is confirmed that he's shutting it down, he will reimburse me for my continuing ed. class.  I asked him about cutting back, and he said that he will make that decision after he comes back from his annual hiatus for the month of January.  I think he's waiting to see how New Guy does without the Boss' guiding hand there all the time.

Then I mentioned that *I* am thinking of cutting back. He tried to talk me out of it, and I did say that I'm only thinking about it, but I did not waiver from my statement that I'm thinking about cutting back.  I think I put it in a way that conveyed that this may be inevitable, rather than, Oh I'm just thinking about this.  This is not like "Oh I'm thinking about where to go on my next vacation." This is more like, "I'm foreseeing this in my future, I'm just not sure when it will happen." I think he realizes this.

I woke up ahead of my alarm, which is a good thing, because Baby Kitty left me a lot of messes to clean up.  She makes a LOT of extra work for me.  I hadn't really realized this until today.  Perhaps that is because I also spent last night shampooing parts of our carpeted stairs last night.  That is such a chore, so I told myself that if I do 3 stairs a night, that's more manageable, and everything gets cleaned.  I want to do this regularly, with breaks, depending on what's going on in life.  

I think I'm doing OK with eating.  Lately, at home in the evening - my weakest time - I've been trying to be more aware of emotions & physical feelings (e.g. fatigue) and intentional about what I eat. Have I been eating too much? Don't know, but did have a protein shake after weight training (upper).  Have I been eating enough?  Most likely yes.  I think I have a lot of leeway before I get to the point of not eating enough. 

Today is leg weights.  I did 2 exercises this morning (cut short because of all the clean-up I needed to do) and I'll do at least 2 more exercises tonight.  Doesn't sound like a lot, but I'm OK with this.  I did a little jogging yesterday, during my lunchtime walk, so if I don't work my legs so much today (with weights), that's OK.

New Gal is at the office today. (blah)  Male Co-Worker is out, starting his week's vacation.  It should be an interesting day.

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 10/06/2021:
Glad you had a good talk with the Boss! Think they could offer you a raise to keep longer hours? At least you know they value you!

Donkey on 10/07/2021:
He MIGHT offer me a raise, but I don't think so. I'm not sure that this is where that is heading. Was thrown a curve ball yesterday (Wednesday) which could change everything. I'll write more about it today (Thursday).

horn_of_plenty on 10/07/2021:
you are doing good, try not to second guess yourself on if you are eating too much / too little because you ARE doing it right.

next good, chat with your boss. MAYBE, can you try a 4-day work week starting in the New Year????

Donkey on 10/08/2021:
The Boss is out of the office for the entire month of January, so I cannot cut back then. I guess my hope is that if he cuts back, I can cut back, but we may not correlate together like that.

Donkey - Tuesday Oct 05, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 131.0

Yesterday, Bear asked me, If you weren't being paid to be at work, would you be there?  (No, of course not)  But her comment, and then Inner Peace's comment made me think, If I didn't work there any more, would my co-workers still keep in contact with me?  PROBABLY NOT.  Honestly not. After 10 years of working at that firm, not a single relationship that would last outside of the boundaries of the workplace.  

Nice Lady started showing me job listings that make more money and have benefits. Frankly, I'm not even sure I want to stay in the legal profession at this point.

I've realized that even when I take a passive approach to the changes that are happening, the changes will still happen.  So me not making changes doesn't mean that the changes stop.  Yesterday, I learned that the Boss is shutting down the mortgage company.  I just spent $168 on that continuing ed. class a couple of months ago for nothing.  WTF.  So I will need to talk to him today, about what my options are for keeping my license active.  My license can't remain active if I don't have a brokerage I'm working for.  I don't want to work actively as a loan officer, for another financial institution, but I don't want to lose my license.  I worked hard for that!!!

And so while I'm talking to him about my license, I might talk to him about other things that are going on with me, talking about pulling back, working part-time.  

I did not wake up early this morning, and so I cut my weights (upper body) short today.  I will try to do more of it this evening.  However, if I work late, that will cut into my time at home to do so.  Gosh, work just dominates my whole life and I hate it!!!

I have an appointment with a personal trainer at the gym for Saturday at 1pm.  

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 10/05/2021:
Congrats on setting up your gym appt...your other priorities sound essential. let us know what happens. you still have a lot of work there, not sure you'd get enough done part time? maybe the boss can help you get a different job later? a connection?

listen to nice lady...that should help you. maybe you can find an ad for a position and it works out. you still have about 10 years you could prob work...you are in your very, very early 50s right? or

Donkey on 10/06/2021:
I'm 51. And I think you're right: I owe it to myself to explore what other job opportunities in the paralegal field are out there, before I decide if I am going to leave the profession entirely.

KathyBlue on 10/05/2021:
Woohoooo personal trainer!! Those kill us for sure. The other day a guy tried to give me some exercises and I simply refused. I mean, my BODY refuse to do what he suggested... :o I was really surprised (and he was surprised, too), lol. Work relationships - yeah. I hear you on that. My best friend is from a previous job but I had very good friends there (so I thought) who don't really talk to me anymore. We parted ways and we are focusing on other things right now but hey, Internet???? It's not that difficult nowadays... and still. Not happening.

Donkey on 10/06/2021:
There are 3 personal trainers that I've seen there on weekends, all male. 2 are overweight; 1 is not, and I've seen his work. He's brutal (lol), but in a supportive way, I'm sure. I'm not sure how I feel about working with an overweight trainer. Actually, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing, so I'm just going to enjoy my free session, and then decide if I think this person can help me to get out of my rut and move forward.

(...although, by increasing the weights I lift, I am getting out of my rut on my own...)

Donkey on 10/06/2021:
There are 3 personal trainers that I've seen there on weekends, all male. 2 are overweight; 1 is not, and I've seen his work. He's brutal (lol), but in a supportive way, I'm sure. I'm not sure how I feel about working with an overweight trainer. Actually, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing, so I'm just going to enjoy my free session, and then decide if I think this person can help me to get out of my rut and move forward.

(...although, by increasing the weights I lift, I am getting out of my rut on my own...)

Jacky82020 on 10/05/2021:
How does shutting down the mortgage component affect everyone’s job there? Meaning, yours. Part time may be good if you can swing it financially.

Donkey on 10/06/2021:
It doesn't affect anyone but myself and Mortgage Guy. I had a chat with the Boss yesterday, and the decision to shut down the mortgage company hasn't been confirmed exactly 100%. Mortgage Guy is really the only one who originates mortgages, so it doesn't even really affect my paralegal job.

The only way shutting down the mortgage company affects ME is that I paid for my continuing ed. I'm SO glad I didn't pay the IL licensing renewal fee ($183) yet. So we'll see what happens for real, in the end.

Jacky82020 on 10/06/2021:
Yep, all you can do is wait & see how it plays out. Too bad you spent $$ on the course.

Donkey - Monday Oct 04, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 131.0

Woke up early naturally, so I got up.  I was up, out of bed at 4:30am.  I did my bike ride and a lot of cleaning (thanks Baby Kitty).  I'm still ahead of schedule, so I have time to spend on the internet. If I get to work early, OK, and if I don't, that's OK too.  It's cooler here (yay!) but more humid (boo), so it's still not the ideal fall weather that I like. 

I decided not to take any of my new scented candles to work.  I did not buy fresh-cut flowers to take to work.  In fact, I'm thinking about bringing home the vase that they would have gone in.  The less I have invested at my workplace, the better.  Kind of a symbolic pulling back, pulling away.

Male Co-Worker is out of the office Wed.-Fri., which means, automatically, it will be a busier week at work. Great.  But I'm just going to focus on getting my work done, and then, if I have extra time & energy, I will help out Mistakes Girl, who has to pick up the slack for anyone who goes on vacation.  I'm already feeling stressed about going to work, but I'm not going to let it get the better of me.  Walking, short meditations, deep breathing, scented candle, stretches -- I am prepared to deal with whatever happens.  Memo to Donkey:  JUST GET THE WORK DONE.

I don't have Zoom yoga tonight, so my evening is more relaxed and definitely more open. So it sounds like today should be more restful (or at least LESS stressful), but I feel charged, like I'm going into an angry room.  I must not let that feeling interfere with actually having a less stressful day.

I'm working on a couple of "projects" but can't seem to get my thoughts together this morning to articulate them. 


Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/04/2021:
I love the idea of just getting the work done.......that is what you are there for.....and make home your happy place.....one thing that would probably happen with adding flowers/new candles is that your desk would be a bit too welcoming and when there is work to get done...that interferes....Unless you are the business owner...then I believe there should be a good divide between the two...( just my opinion)...would you go there every day if they didn't pay you? Probably not.....But home is where you are welcomed and comfy and all the fun stuff is......Home is special like that......enjoy yourself there.....Kind of a (I do this/work....so that I can have that/home)....Tell yourself that in an angry room you can work on relaxing anyway....the more you get done...the faster the time will go and you can return to your happy place.

Donkey on 10/05/2021:
I love this description. Home is a haven... even if I come home to a million messes. Not nearly as comforting when I come home to messes.

Maria7 on 10/04/2021:
Just focus on one day at a time. I know it is not easy to not get over involved in work, as I was pretty involved in my job, also, before I retired. But, now, I rarely even think about the times when I worked before retiring. Surely do not miss it at all. Thing is, they can always replace you. The place can be run without us, alas! Smile. This can be good to think about...as in...freeing... Take care. Lots of love.

Donkey on 10/05/2021:
Yes, one day at a time. I'm going to take your wise words to heart today.

bearcountrygg on 10/04/2021:
Maria is right.....when one leaves...another just steps right in...

Donkey on 10/05/2021:
Yep. Mortgage Guy stopped by the office yesterday and reminded me of this fact. But actually, part of the decision has already been made for me, so now it's out of my hands.

innerpeace on 10/04/2021:
Absolutely...correct. No one is indispensable. I always thought that being in the military - but when I left, someone else did exactly what I was doing, sometimes better sometimes not, but the work always seemed to get done. Even when I went back to visit my people from CSU someone was doing my job, I was even thanked for keeping my files in line so they picked up right where I left off.

I am still having issues with getting up earlier...tomorrow I will try again.

Donkey on 10/05/2021:
(See my comment to Bear above) I was telling Mortgage Guy yesterday that I just feel bad leaving everyone in such a busy, chaotic time, but he said I shouldn't. And he's right.

Jacky82020 on 10/04/2021:
I’d worry about scented candles bothering coworkers. I love them. All over the house.

Donkey on 10/05/2021:
The one I have at work is a gift from a realtor that I got a year ago, maybe 2? The main complaint I always get is: Is something burning? It smells like baking cookies? Is that you?

Probably not worth doing it just to avoid those annoying questions.

Horn_of_plenty on 10/04/2021:
and also if the candles went on fire at work! oh no!

you have a good mindset to get thru this week efficiently. i would like to see flowers at work, i think that would be nice on your desk every so often. everyone would benefit.

Donkey on 10/05/2021:
As long as it's my files that burn down, I don't care. LOL, actually, that's a big paranoia (and rightly so) of my Boss. So I never leave the flame unattended for more than a few seconds.

I think you're right about the flowers. I just didn't have it in my last weekend. Maybe this weekend.

Donkey - Sunday Oct 03, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 131.0

I made and then unmade decisions several times already, and the day has just started.  Oh DD'ers, I *almost* had the courage to sign up for the weight-training class this morning, that I've written about before.  I'm not a class person, when it comes to fitness, but I was thinking that taking classes might be a good way to make new friends. I even planned YESTERDAY's gym workout with the anticipation that I would sign up for the weight class today. 

However, Donkey is a planner and a thinker, and I realized that IF I take this class 10:15am-11:15am, that I will not be able to see Daughter at all today.  And... I dunno, I thought maybe she'd need to see me, or like to see me, or maybe I need to see her... Anyway, I felt this nagging need to let her know, Hey, I'm signing up for this class, I won't see you, let me know if you need me.  So perhaps next Sunday.

I also thought that I'd really like to take a Monday off, soon, which is one of Daughter's days off, and spend some time with Daughter - perhaps a lunch and then a hike.  I have to wait until Male Co-Worker stops taking the next 2 Monday's off, and we have to get a little less busy, so that my desk is easier to manage for whoever is left (Mistakes Girl, probably).

As it turned out, I "slept in" this morning and didn't get out of bed until 6am.  I was up at 3:55am, and thought, Oh I'll just get up, but then I slipped into a dream - more REM sleep (YES!!!) - so the actual getting up was delayed a couple of times.  And that's OK.  So I figured that I'll just go to the gym later today, rather than try to "get it out of the way", and I'm OK with that.  Husband and I have an errand to run at around 3pm or so, and then the usual cat laundry, reading, resting.

Yesterday, I bought myself some scented candles to help me with my stress at work, although I may use them at home.  I'd also like to get some fresh-cut flowers today, to bring to work, to help cheer me up, and bring me some peace, while I'm at work.  Trying.... trying hard...  But I'm not going to think about work today. 

I'm just going to enjoy this day I've been given.  Leg day at the gym - yay!

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

KathyBlue on 10/03/2021:
Hahahah scented candles at work, I'm so bad, that got me thinking of something like "oh yeah, I'd love to get some bad smelling candles to smoke them idiots out of my perimeters..." :D Dreams - I don't get too many of those ever since I've been taking the ADHD drug. If I get them, it's because they are nightmares and normally those come from some trauma someone caused or I caused it myself, like over or undereating. About the class vs. Daughter , I have a question. I'm quite out of context, so maybe it will sound like a dumb question but here you go: How come 1 hour class in the morning makes you lose the whole opportunity to meet up with her that day?

Donkey on 10/03/2021:
Oh sorry about the confusion. Daughter works 2nd shift, and has Mondays and Thursdays off. I work 9am-5pm, Monday through Friday. So on Saturday, I saw her from 10:45am-11:30am, when she had to start getting ready for work.

Today I saw her from 12:10p-12:15p when she came downstairs and rushed off to work.

The gym class is 10:15am-11:15am, and it takes me about 20 minutes to get cleaned up afterwards (if I don't stay to do something else). It's also a 15 minute drive home.

bearcountrygg on 10/03/2021:
I love when I wake up and figure I had might as well just get up...and fall back to sleep...BONUS!!!

Donkey on 10/03/2021:
I love it when I wake up and I can get up, even if I don't want to -- the earlier the better, because then I have more of the day. But sleeping in today was a much needed thing, I think, so I have no regrets.

Horn_of_plenty on 10/03/2021:
you can always do the weight training another day....with the sign up class.

you do whatever makes you happy...in the end, that's really it! :)

i think the scented candles would be best at home...never know if new girl is like allergic to scents ;) LOL, not that you actually should even care! haha

Donkey on 10/04/2021:
I have a wonderful scented candle at work that I can use, so I think I'll stick with that. I had not considered that New Gal would be sensitive to scented candles. Good point.

What makes me happy is what I do now, but I also have this "counter force" that tells me that I should stretch my horizons. Plus, I would really like to have new people in my life, even if it's acquaintances or even a "hi how are you?" thing. That's what's pushing me to take a class.

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