I am happy to finally report some numbers going down. I think I feel better overall, too. Oh, it was so hard not to give in to those desires to have a food fit in the evening. I see that this "evening food fit" thing - not a craving, exactly, but more like anxiety - is definitely an emotional thing. It's like I don't know what to do with myself at the end of the day.
So I will continue to focus on food intake this next week, and I will also start exploring things to do with myself with those evening hours before bedtime.
One thing that HAS helped me this week is to think of the office manager for the clinic downstairs at my work building. She's the one that lost 20 pounds during the shut-down, because she forgot to eat, and decided to kick up her exercising. She'll even tell you herself, that this is not a healthy way to lose weight! BUT, for me, it reminds me of the importance of monitoring my intake.
It's going to be brutally hot today, so I've already got my laundry hanging outside and filled up my birdfeeders. I've also cleared out the back seat of my car and the trunk area (better organized) because my husband complained that I had too much recycling in the car. "You can't save the world by keeping this stuff in your car!" LOL - he's completely right, of course.
So sometime soon, I need to stop at the animal shelter to drop off aluminum cans. I don't know what to do with my plastic bags until stores start accepting them again. I see these bags of discarded plastic bags and I cannot even think of them ending up in a landfill :-( I think I may just have to let that go, though...
I learned more about what my school district has in mind for schools. We have 5 grade schools (K-5), 2 middle schools (6-8) and only one high school (9-12). Each school is way overcrowded. So:
I'm glad I don't have to worry about it. I'm glad I'm not school staff. But I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice if they hired teachers just to each online classes? I know that takes more money, etc., but I thought it might make the online learning experience easier and better for everyone if online had a dedicated staff and in-person had its own staff too.
Don't know yet if I'll make it to the gym. I do know that I want to do biceps and triceps with weights today.
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
No exercise last night, but held my eating in check. I can't say I'm looking forward to weighing in tomorrow (Saturday), but I seem curious to see what the number is.
If my exercise is causing me to eat too much, I'm probably overdoing it.
I opted to go to bed early instead.
I'm so glad it's Friday. Everyone at work has mentioned that this has been a long, difficult week. So I just need to get through today.
Our school district has opted to open, and we start school here in the middle of August. There are options for elearning and hybrid (I guess where the kids attend some classes in person and others online. )
I'm so glad that my kids are out of school. My daughter is not taking classes at community college this term, either. There are predictions that the schools will close down again by October. We'll see. Illinois has done a good job of flattening the COVID curve, but once the schools start up, all bets are off.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
sometimes, for myself, it was early to bed after work as well. if you are tired, that's what's best!
glad it's the weekend for you!
So I guess at my job, when you go on vacation, you have to find your own substitute. I thought it would be Mistakes Girl, but she's telling me and my boss is telling me, that she doesn't think she can do it.
Male Co-Worker is like, that's not how taking vacation works, finding your own substitute. Like bringing someone from outside the office to work my desk for 3 or 4 days.
My family was livid.
I rode the stationary bike and lifted weights last night. Eating was in check as well.
Probably no yoga tonigh . Just too stressful to be so rushed.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
My boss is not really a good HR manager. He dislikes having to manage staff stuff.
Donkey, there is no good reason for you to be stressed about taking four days off - days off that you are entitled to take - and be expected to look for someone outside the organization to cover your work while you're gone. That is absolutely unreasonable, and your boss should be well aware of that!
It is NOT your job to find a replacement for your holiday time. That is a BOSS problem, not a YOU problem.
Meanwhile, everyone else goes camping, vacation, etc. NOT FAIR.
I did better with food last night. The sweets craving was difficult but I stayed focused and had only my standard 90 calorie piece of dark chocolate. It wasn't easy.
I did not go to the gym and I was extremely disappointed with myself. This disappointment, along with the little COVID scare at work, was the reason for the food fit Monday night.
My daughter went to the gym after dinner and gave me an assessment of the # of people on the cardio deck. There is an area of machines that I could use and not be bothered by others, pretty much at all. The drawback is that it's not my favorite brand of elliptical, but a comparable machine nonetheless.
I haven't done weights since Saturday. I would NOT do weights at the gym until this COVID thing passes. Too crowded, no masks, etc. So perhaps if I do not go to the gym tonight, I might lift at home.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
My gym is just too small. I won't be going. I'm looking at more workout videos online. My gym posts some links on FB.
I am learning this eek that I actually prefer to workout at home. No mask, no dumbbutts, equipment is clean, and I can drink coffee while I exercise. I shouldn't be so hard on myself for not going to the gym right now.
Oh I was in a foul mood yesterday at work. I just didn't want to be there in the worst way.
And Mistakes Girl was out for most of the day because one of her husband's co-workers tested positive for COVID. So everyone at his work had to get tested. MG didn't want to come to work if her husband tested positive, so she waited until results came in the afternoon. I'm glad everything came back negative.
I did not do yoga last night. I did not go to the gym. I did not ride my bike last night. I did not lift weights.
Instead, I had a food fit. Started with 2 pieces of dark chocolate. Then I had 2/3 cup of chocolate truffle ice cream. Then 7 figs and 10 macadamia nuts. Then 8 marshmallows.
Believe it or not, after that, I still wanted to dive into a bowl of tortilla chips but managed to refrain and got ready for bed instead.
My stomach did not have any problems after that, and actually, I slept quite well.
Poor sick baby kitty had numerous enemas at the vet, as they couldn't get anything to come out. Finally, it worked. She goes back this morning for another flush out. We also ordered the blood test to see if the fungal infection is gone. I sure hope so because we're getting tired of giving her medicine. And I'm sure kitty feels the same way.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
yeah, the food fit doesn't sound high volume. did you have dinner? did you change anything yesterday at all (besides not working out) that would want you to consume those foods?
something weird has happened to me lately and i am finally finding myself to actually be FULL once again after many of my meals. more than i have been in YEARS.it's prob due to not rushing.
so what exactly came out? was it like a compound of some sort or just nothing and then something? i hope she feels better, poor kitty.
i still want to suggest you take your own couple days off of work at some point, if you can. sorry to suggest something that you cannot do, if that's the case.
try to do what is good for you, lady. try not to be angry at yourself or judgemental but to be patient with yourself.
one of the things that has helped me, as i've told you before, over the most recent couple years, is to have snacks in my day that aren't that healthy. it's not really a health tip, but a maintenance tip i use.
and i still like to incorporate a snack of caffeine with carbs, though i don't do it so much right now that i'm home...but it always works after work or for a pick me up before a workout...
lately my meat portions are not as large, cooked veggies are big bc of the indian food, and carbs are also higher than they have been in years.
when i go back to work though, i will prob lower the carbs a hair bc i will be up more hours of the day and POSSIBLY have a MUCH larger appetite. we'll see.
i was trying to provide you with some tips. i do know we have pretty different eating styles though. for instance, i cannot really snack on fresh veggies and they haven't really ever filled me up for snack purposes...but who knows....maybe they would now!
try to lessen the portions of the "guilty items" but to allow them more often. maybe even 2x per day...like 3 hershey kisses in afternoon, 3 after dinner...
for instance, i eat tortilla chips as my carb with the meal. maybe some days try to plan in how you will add carbs to the menu to places where usually you wouldn't...
I woke up tired, but feeling good (if not a little sore) and grateful. I'm not looking forward to spending the next 8 hours at work, but ok.
I ended up going to the gym yesterday afternoon. I had nothing to do, and I didn't like the idea of spending my time off watching tv. I went alone, to assess the situation myself, and I'm glad I went.
I only did a bit of cardio on the elliptical, showered and came home. The steam room is closed (and rightly so), and so are the hot tubs. I do weights at home, so I did not go into that area, but did not see many masks there, because you are allowed to take off your mask while exercising.
I wore my mask all the time except for when I was actually ON the elliptical and then when I was in the shower. It was nice to see that most folks followed this protocol. But it seemed that there were quite a few who just couldn't do everything we're supposed to do. For example, some cleaned really well but wore no mask (*). Some wore a mask but did not disinfect.
*When I got home, my daughter said that masks were only mandatory on the main entrance level, but not on the cardio deck or weights area on the 2nd floor.
So I'm glad I went, but I haven't made up my mind if I will continue to go or not.
I decided not to "drastically" change up my routine, which was really only to use the better recumbent bike, with programs and real resistance levels, rather than use the older bike we still have, which is an easier ride. In the mornings, I'm stiff and sore, so the easier, older bike is good for limbering up, getting moving, etc.
Not sure what my yoga schedule will be this week .
Trying to focus on portion control this week , but then, after the gym I ate a whole bunch of carrots with guacamole. Around 9p, instead of just turning off the light and going to bed, I had a 100 calorie bag of popcorn!
It's hard, when I'm hungry!
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
that's scary about no masks at gym...
sorry if i'm too opinionated lately!!
I'm wondering if I need to try to *drastically* change my exercising routine - if that would help with the scale.... Ha ha, can you tell I'm really trying hard to avoid measuring portions? Time to be honest though. I think I do too much "ineffective" cardio. It's hard to let go and cut back. My time might be better spent doing something else. Or perhaps less cardio, less calories (less cravings), more weights, more yoga.
In August, we are going out to Montana to visit our son. Daughter is coming with us. We will meet up with my mom for the visit. This is a visit, not a vacation, since we're helping son take care of some life/living things, and hopefully do some hiking. But the primary purpose is for the life/living things that he needs help with. If I started tomorrow (Monday), with a new plan, that would be 25 days of trying something different. So I might try to use this as a short-term experiment.
Yesterday, I did some outdoor work on my plants, birdfeeders, etc. Also did laundry, and some cleaning up after the kitties and the family. The only real chore I have today is to fold and put away my laundry. Today will also be the most loveliest day weather-wise, so I hope to be outside as much as possible, if I can.
We still have not stepped back into the gym. So now we've fallen into the category of people who PAY for a gym membership but don't GO to the gym. This goes so against who I am (ha ha). So that should be something that we endeavor to address this week, somehow. Either we start going back to the gym, or we put our memberships on hold. I can't help but wonder if we're not going to end up going back into a shelter-down status because people are not doing what they're supposed to be doing now.
I'm so glad that I do not have to worry about whether or not my kids will be going to the classrooms in the fall. If I had to make that decision today, I would keep them home, if I could manage it. The schools here are massively overcrowded. It's a cesspool of germs even without COVID, much less with it.
As if I needed more stress in my life... Our poor sick Baby Kitty (the one with the internal fungal infection) does not seem to be doing well lately. So she is going to the vet on Monday (tomorrow). She was a good girl last night and let me trim her front paw nails. She needs a bath, but I won't make her go through that, since she's obviously not feeling well. Besides, perhaps the vet should get the full stink to see that she's not doing well.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
HOWEVER, i am fully in support of your trial of 25 days in trying something different. and if it works, try to incorporate some of the different into the next days as well! i like this method as this is what i used / still use as ways to change my routine either with eating or exercise when things get old and it helps encourage me with alternative habits or get rid of boredom or even make i so i don't feel as though there's too many rules and not enough freedom.
I'm happy to hear you will be helping your son. he is lucky to have you all. my parents have always given me much more help than the average parents. i am lucky for them as well. ;-)
try to get your gym membership on hold as i totally agree that a gym is not the place to be (just like schools should not be open - totally agree). you said it yourself, they are a "cesspool"
also, i'm sorry about your kitty. and i guess she shouldn't be further tortured by a bath! :)
YET ANOTHER POUND GAINED... And I double-checked with my fancy scale and yes, I've gained a pound.
With the symptoms that I was feeling this past week, along with the weight gain and no food fits, I'm becoming concerned to the point that if this continues, I will see my doctor. First, though, I think I will need to track calories for a bit, to see if that's the problem. Not so much for losing weight, but rather to show my doctor, "Hey look - this is what I'm eating and I'm STILL gaining weight."
The weather has moderated a bit, so I have turned off the AC and opened the windows. I had no fatigue in my leg muscles this morning. In fact, I woke up at 4:10a to use the bathroom (too much water!), and couldn't fall back asleep, so I finally got out of bed at 5am. I figured I can always take a nap later on today. This NEVER happens during the week. But right now, I feel pretty good. I'm not sure if it's the weather, or knowing that I don't have to go to work, or what.
This may be just a bad spot that I'm in temporarily.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
also, look at your chart: your weight went up during this stressful season of Spring, then you successfully lowered it in JUNE.
you were doing something very right to lower your weight back down in June - maybe look back or think back to what you did to successfully lose weight then.
you CAN do this. you know how.
not every change needs to be done at once. try to repeat successful things from june now in july and august.
try to take also time out for yourself.
your health matters.
try instead of focusing on the scale to focus on your movement and/or what you are consuming. cakes and cookies, especially a moderate piece of cake, add up a lot. I cannot really eat CAKES or other medium/large pastries due to this reason which is why i stick to cookies and things that are smaller and fit in better.
don't give up on yourself. you have your job and salary which is really so great at this time. and you have us of course here. lol?!
but really, i am trying to say don't let this unpredictable time and stressful time in history force you to have to undo all of the diligence and efforts you put in to moderate your weight.
are you still eating a lot of veggies?
when i go back to work, i may find myself back to more veggies.
of course it's easy for me right now because i am not up as many hours of you during the day to get as hungry over that many hours as you - try to stick to your proven methods to fill yourself up.
are you still having teas / coffees at work? are you still eating raw veggies? are you bored of them? can you have fruit and tea in the summer at work? a few almondss and fruit and tea?
if you crave carbs, have them. just keep it to one portion. i like to eat them mostly at the end of the meal to satisfy my need for sweet / carb / cracker / bread / etc.
go back to your entries, if you really are nervous about the weight, to when you were at your lower end...do what you did then. i really do think doing things like this should work for you.
I think I may be drinking more coffee... although if I am, it's only by one more cup. There are the calories that come from the creamer. One more cup of coffee is 50 extra calories.
I'm more stressed out. I'm lifting weights more consistently, although I see no improvement on this.
Hmm... well, you are so right that there are other positives to focus on. It's just so frustrating.
Today especially, but all week actually, I've been feeling a growing sensation of deep muscle and joint fatigue. I used to feel this way right before TOM when I was anemic and not taking iron supplements. But I take my iron faithfully. And I'm certainly eating enough.
All I can think it is that it must be the heat -- except that o silence most of the day inside in the AC. I have been very busy at work. I've had headaches Tuesday and Wednesday (the worst, all day long, just on the verge of a migraine)... But that shouldn't equate to physical fatigue -- at least not to the level I'm experiencing.
I'm glad tomorrow is Friday.
Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
is something you are eating draining the iron anyways?
I don't think that I am eating something that would negate the iron levels... I probably don't eat enough red meat, but UGH, I just get so beefed out after 2 days of it. And I DO NOT eat liver or any organ meat AT ALL. I'd rather take extra iron if that's what it takes.
One of the "nice" things about Nice Lady being upset with me and not talking to me I'd that I am able to focus much more in getting work done. I feel bad for her because I think she is lonely. My boss has become the same way. Talking just to talk. This drives me nuts. Is this my destiny as well? To become like this? Will younger people write me off as lonely and annoying too? Probably.
I had too many tortilla chips at dinner last night. That WAS my dinner because I just couldn't handle having tuna salad again. Then, after yoga, I dove into a bag of marshmallows.
Needless to say I have more energy today! Gone is the fatigue I've felt the past few days, although my joints still ache a bit.
I think last night's yoga will be it for this week.
Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
also, i don't think you have the tendency to be a "chatter" when you are older! i'm glad you can do your work today.
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We get our recycling picked up here except for bottles. So I have to take them myself. We don't have bottle and can deposits here. Yet.
I associate tv watching at night with snacking. Bad habit.
My granddaughters live in Michigan and I'm hoping their schools are online. At least in the autumn.
happy-1 on 07/18/2020:
Hugs. Good job at keeping going in the face of anything and everything.
Thank you! It isn't always easy. Some days are easier than others, but I do need to stay focused on my goals
Horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2020:
One thing i'd like to "agree" or "acknowledge" with is the woman that lost the 20lbs because she "forgot" to eat. I think it's good that me, you, others, try to get involved in activities that take out minds off the constant food focus. I think it can be healthy to meditate (haven't done this in a long time and i'm going to go back to it for this week since i have a lot of time with the Calm app)...so i think it's good when we reach a point that we are focused on something else for a little while at least - like when you are at work in the mornings and you say your focus is on your work, not food.
It's interesting that you mention this, because at work, I'm ok with work distracting me up to a point and then it drives me to eat out of anxiety. It's such a fine line.
But I agree that keeping busy with ANYTHING is really helpful to keep the eating at bay until a proper mealtime or snack.
Horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2020:
another thing i want to compare is something about Ricky's smoking habit. In my honest opinion, i still think he does it because he cannot face the real risks and what it does to him. I feel it is only his own responsibility to quit and that he cannot blame it on anyone or anything (even the addictive qualities cannot be blamed) as i honestly feel that he is in power to quit....
so you ask how this relates...this is my own personal opinion that it is OUR responsibility to find a way to help ourselves. unlike smoking, we get a benefit where we still get to eat. and we still get to eat "everything." we just need to learn / re-learn how to eat in ways that are going to help us. and i feel that we can all be successful... (please don't take my comments here as a lecture or bossy emphasis, it's more like i am trying to relate to your entry and feelings and give my opinions on how i think of the whole eating / diet / weightloss / health dilemna...)
One reason I never started smoking was the realization that if I ever started with one cigarette, I'd be up to 2 packs in about 1-2 weeks. Yep.
I think you're right that it's our own responsibility to help ourselves. One reason why I never subscribed to a food service (think along the lines of Jenny Craig) is that I didn't want someone doing the thinking for me.
Now I fully acknowledge that for some people, that's what they NEED, and that's fine. What I'm trying to say is that a food service, where the meals are preplanned, isn't what I wanted for my journey.
I should add that my mom successfully lost and maintained her loss with a food service plan, and she transitioned to eating on her own quite well.
When my stepfather got very sick and subsequently passed away, she gained 20 pounds back, so she went back to her plan and lost it again. As far as I know, she's keeping it off.
Some roadblocks are just too difficult to pass at times...
Horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2020:
for some reason, i'm thinking schools will today not be open in September. i cannot believe they'd want to open schools now. i feel districts might be doing it bc they have to appeal to the president. but i don't think in the end they will open, at least not in NYC. but we'll see..
anyways back to what i was saying. My whole eating approach now, for instance, possibly goes back to self-commitments but also to my learned approaches and tricks to staying around this weight...
as a single person with not too much stress going on, it's been more simple and i realize that you have more challenges in that yuo are still working and you are also a caretaker.
so just remember to care for yourself as well as you care for everyone else in your family. try not to take losing weight as optional or something you don't deserve. try not to take it as a "game" where you can play the game of gaining weight until you really feel you want to make a change:
this is how i think of his smoking - that he's still playing a game with himself and refuses the real issues he is causing himself. he won't look it in the face and see how bad his health is because he'd rather not take it seriously.
when i was far younger and more just starting out and as i regained all the weight i lost between 24-26 years old, i took the weight and eating thing as a game too. I didn't worry about eating till i was sick and didn't think how i would be sorry later for my binges. i just decided to "meditate" and relax while i binged. i would not think about how tomorrow i would regret it. i separated the binge from the consequences.
now, i am actually somewhat able to consider how much i am eating "now" and realize how it will affect me later. I have actually been able to "think" during a lot of my eating time of how it will relate to my after-eating.
will i be content on what i ate? will it totally set me back and anger me and make me stressed ? will it make it harder for me in the weeks to come?
the reason why i eat fries (small servings), chips often, and all these "calorie-dense" (but small servings) foods is so that i can feel i ate them and enjoy them and not have to be upset the next day or feel deprived. the more i have added in these characteristically high cal foods into my diet, the more i feel satisfied mentally.
yesterday, when i had a fried chicken dinner, i wasn't satisfied mentally or physically as i ate it while distracted on the phone and ate it too fast with not enough veggies or filling low cal additions to the meal. but it didn't cause me to binge later as i realized it was pretty high cal meal after i calculated it, i was able to drink low cal seltzer later in the night, and i guess i was busy last evening so i didn't get fully distracted at home on thoughts of food as i left my apt right after eating the dinner.
part of this process for you, me and the others on here is how we can distract ourselves from a binge or to get mentally prepared not to go through with a binge.
you love cake. and i think it's important for you to have it. perhaps have it after a light dinner of deli meat and salad 1x a week at first or something more than is typically thought of as "typical." it's your food journey and i feel that breaking the rules is part of making your journey work for you!
for instance, writers always "break the rules of writing" because they are no longer novices. and me, you and the others on here are also not novices. the rules are meant to be broken. cake is here to be eaten. i don't do cake because i like smaller cookies, but it is what works for you!
the choices you make are not wrong. they are your choices and your journey. don't let others or other diet mentalities tell you what your choices have to be and what rules shouldn't be broken!
keep on! :)
For myself, I think it's important to be able to feel like I can have a bite of anything, if I wanted to. So if I want a slice of cake, I have it, but usually only if it's of good quality.
That is to say, it's very easy for me to pass on the donuts, muffins, junk, that comes into the office. That's usually not very good quality.