So a couple of thoughts that need their own entry:
Tonight, I was not so strong about resisting the cake. My daughter had a dish of leftover cake & ice cream that she could not finish on Sunday, so she stuck it in the freezer. It's been there for a couple of days. For some reason, not only was this dessert calling my name for what it is (cake & ice cream), but this bowl of leftovers triggered my OCD tendencies. It just BOTHERED me that here is this unfinished dish in the freezer! Last night, I was able to resist, but tonight -- no such luck.
This struggle -- despite the fact that I had a very filling, satisfying dinner (again, ate too much at dinner - another one of my struggles), was a losing battle tonight. Actually, that's not 100% true. I consciously decided that I wanted a carb re-set, and that finishing this dish would satisfy me in both capacities. And it did, except that then... I had an extra piece of cake.
Even though I truly believe that keto has a LOT of benefits health-wise, I'm afraid that it's just not for me - at least not right now.
I have to do what works for me, and right now, for where I'm at, the last 2 months of keto haven't been working for me.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I did ok until dinner, where I feel that I ate too much. Wanted to finish up some chicken that was almost at the end. I hate wasting food, but especially meat. Morally, that's just wrong in my book (for me). I've struggled with dinner before, and here I am again.
It may not seem like it but I truly am struggling with food lately.
Sunday was weights, still doing my pushups. Looked at my upper arms last night. The pushups are paying off. Very solid with some bulk. Unfortunately, no definition, and that's what I really want.
I'm wondering if I should be aiming for 8 hours of sleep, rather than 7.
EDIT: wanted to add that the leftover birthday cake was really calling my name last night. Really struggling...
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
8 hours of sleep or more is what I aspire to; i'm not getting it, but i'm trying my best! Good sleep leads to good recovery leads to killing your workouts.
I'm sorry you're struggling right now with food - are you craving things in particular? Is it because of the cake?
I think the cake has brought the struggle to the forefront. I plan to write more about this, so I won't expand my thoughts here, but I did want to thank you for your comment/question, because it forced me to get real with myself.
Re Bulk vs. Tone: i had to do weight training for YEARS before there was ANY TONE. i looked sorta like a hulk until i lost a little bulk and this lasted for a LONG TIME. although change is gradual, it does happen. the only thing preventing it is giving up ;)
When I went downstairs for my morning bike ride, there were a few tiny snowflakes in the air. When I came upstairs, there was snow coverage on the ground. Now it's pretty much a white-out, and I may have to shovel, unless I decide to let Mother Nature take care of the snow removal later this week as the temperatures go back up.
Today we are celebrating my daughter's birthday, which was earlier this week, but she had to work, so we could not have a birthday dinner. I had suggested hiking with her at a local forest preserve, but with the snow, she has opted to stay at home and just relax, which is 100% fine with me as well.
She has requested egg salad and my pasta salad (with olive oil; not creamy) for dinner, as well as a yellow cake with chocolate frosting. And with cake comes ice cream. The egg salad is low carb, but not the pasta salad. My recipe makes a huge batch, so I will make half a batch, for her and my husband to eat. The chocolate cake is going to be a challenge. No way around that, unless I do not participate at all.... She would understand, but that seems wrong to me. So I will have a small slice, as it's not a very big cake anyway. My husband bought 2 kinds of regular ice cream, and I bought a small pint of low carb, keto-friendly for myself (HoP: Halo Birthday Cake flavor).
I did all of my tasks yesterday, including going out to shop with my husband TWICE, in anticipation of today's snow storm. (So glad we did.) I did not weight train, I'm sorry to say. I could say that the logistics didn't work out to get this done, and that is true, BUT that is also an excuse. If it were REALLY important to me, I would have found a way to make it happen. And I didn't.
I baked a decent keto-friendly bread loaf yesterday. This is a perfect example of my dilema:
Anyway, it's a decent loaf and pretty easy to make. I'm not sure I'd have it regularly. I made it so that I could have an egg salad sandwich for our birthday celebration and still be pretty "normal". I might just have it in a lettuce wrap anyway. Not sure.
Heard from our son yesterday, as we were driving home from the 1st store run. He did 40 push-ups, 42 push-ups, and a 12-minute mile run. (I think they have to run 1.5 or 2 miles.) Turns out though that instead of expecting home at the end of September or early October, it's probably going to be more like early November.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
You are so thoughtful to bake her a cake! my mom wasn't that much of a baker to do this. she enjoys cooking though and has made me nice things also (all sorts of sauteed veggies and extra veggies at meals thinking of me!) your daughter will realize how much you thought of her and i'm sure it will be her happy as well as you happy ;)
Is this your first time trying a halo top? that's nice your hubby got it for you and it's true that it's a LOT lighter than regular ice cream! it's amazing how many calories you save eating it! have you noticed i don't eat it as much? i was so addicted a couple years back. eating it for dinner multiple nights a week! i didn't do my skin any justice to eat that like a meal LOL but it's a great snack! i was reading how you mentioned me at work and started chuckling. my coworker / supervisor wanted to know what's so funny but i couldn't bring her to tell how you "called me out in your diary telling me what ice cream flavor you are trying and how i loved it so much getting such details thrown my way that it made me laugh!" i didn't tell her!
i agree that in terms of logistics and weight training it's hard to tell when it's an excuse and it's seriously logistics. i skipped a session myself this weekend on purpose. i knew i wouldn't be in the mood to do weights after the morning heavy walk. i decided one workout would be enough. i'm glad i made the decision because i felt better than usual after lunch today at work :) it's my less is more approach as i don't want to go on vacation already beat up! LOL.
bread isn't bad for you in moderation! but you have to consider the calories and use the keto bread the same way you'd eat regular bread. ;) that's my opinion on things, anyways!
i think you said you agree somewhat, but i do find eating keto to be lots of dense food (even the salads are "heavy" and i find it easy to indulge) when eating keto.
but i do still like the taste of many things keto and like that it doesn't cause a sugar rush at work...it does kinda help me with hunger thru the mornings.
I'm so glad you heard from your son! why will he stay longer? I'm proud of him and hope you are too! :)remember to tell him that!
Boot camp is structured completely different this time around. This really surprised me to learn. My son will be delayed because during his 2nd round if training, he gets weekends off, so those days don't count.
Yes, this was my first Halo experience. Folks on FB are dissing it because it still has sugar in it. :(
I'm still not convinced keto is for me. I love carrots too much to give up.
SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO POST ON MY LAPTOP AND NOT MY STUPID "SMART" PHONE!! (insert happiness here)
So after all that modified diet, liquid diet day, and cleansing of the GI --- I ended up gaining half a pound. That's just messed up, friends. I don't even know what to say....
I'm doing a LOT of re-evaluating right now, as far as food goes. Keto is not giving me the lean, "muscle cut" look that I wanted. And I think that the mentality that working a keto diet means that I don't have to watch intake isn't working either. That's one reason why I decided to step away from the fat-bombs (which are essentially, a ball of fat - coconut oil, peanut butter, etc. - with flavoring & sweetener). I love the low-carb substituition recipies - e.g. keto cake, keto dinner rolls, etc. -- but I've heard that those can stall out weight loss. PLUS I'm not sure that's what I want to do. The idea isn't to have a slice of keto cake for dessert every night and be OK with it because "it's keto". No, the point is that a slice of cake should be a specially occassion. Keto really is about protein and vegetables, with limits on fruits to limited quantities of berries.
Which brings me to another struggle I'm having with fruit consumption. I'm not sure I want to be on a diet that doesn't include fruits like apples, grapefruit, grapes, peaches, plums, etc.
And MOST importantly: I'm supposed to be in maintenance but I'm still feeling a strong pull to be in the 120's, not because that's where I belong, but just to be losing weight. There's another "messed up, friends".
Keeping up with my push-ups challenge, and I'll be getting back into weights again today. Kind of took the week off because of the medical procedures. I'm OK with that. Of course, I did stick with doing cardio except for the day of the procedure. That was a complete rest day, with barely over 3000 steps. (I usually get in over 20,000 steps a day.)
Today's Plans:
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
i'm glad your procedure is over! back to your typical day's structure!
your day sounds similar to mine today! so nice to go food shopping and stock up on everything good that store has to offer!...i went to a bigger store with a much larger food selection on purpose. this will be my last indulgent food shopping until after my trip!
Yesterday was a much better day. I felt much more myself, my stomach feeling better, and my taste coming back. (The prep solution I had to drink before the procedure really messed with me.) I was feeling healthier and happier... not so sure how much of that had to do with my tummy and how much of that had to do with Queen Bee being gone.
Associate Attorney was so happy she was gone, he offered to take Nice Lady and me out to lunch! We ended up not going, but I completely understood his sentiment, and appreciated that he wanted to include me. That was nice to hear.
Returning back to normal, I feel that I haven't been as mindful or intentional with eating as I want to be. I feel like I eat too much and/or eat too many carbs. Also, I realize that I am not working a true keto plan, as I'm pretty sure I eat over 20g net carbs every day. I'm on 4 keto groups on Facebook , mostly for the recipes, but I'm thinking about dropping them, because I'm not really true to the plan.
SERIOUSLY NEED ADVICE:
I've been struggling with trying to find the right sugar substitute for my coffee. Saccharine (i.e. Sweet n Low) seems to be the only thing that works, but that's so bad for me! Don't like stevia (wish I did; can't handle the aftertaste), monkfruit is only ok - it's bearable, can't do Swerve (erythritol), as the cooling aftertaste is awful.
Also, I use flavor packets in the water I drink. They are sweetened with aspartame (Splenda)... trying to get away from that, but the alternatives aren't as good tasting. When the weather gets warmer, infused water might work - it probably will. Right now, trying to switch to a packet that combines cane sugar and stevia --- GOOD because it's more natural, but BAD because it has sugar which is not keto!
Ideas? Thoughts? Insights?
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
The water, well, i'm not sure about that one. I use flavor shots in my water sometimes. I have tried lemon slices before, strawberries - but it's an annoying process to have to cut it all up every time I fill up a jug of water, etc.
I'm also giving some serious re-consideration to following a keto way of life. It's not giving me the "lean look" (shedding) or lower body fat that I had hoped.
i think in terms of the packets that have some real sugar that it's better because it's natural even if it's not pure keto.
i think it's better to find things that work for you, rather than for a diet.
i find a little real sugar during the day makes me feel good, in MODERATION, just like i feel a little carbs at lunch makes me feel good rather than no carbs. that's my biased opinion!
Yesterday was rough! I was not really feeling well; if I could have called in sick, I would have. But as it was, I came back to 53 emails, some from Monday night! And complete chaos. It's like Nice Lady got caught up in 2 files and let the rest of them go. Can't do that when we're this busy.
And on top of that, my stomach wasn't quite in the right place. I'm still not sure I'm 100% yet. Woke up so tired... coffee tastes ok, but I'm not too crazy about the flavor packet I put in my water this morning. I had hoped that I would be more discretionary with food (choices and quantity), but that didn't happen. Just need to be more mindful, but when I'm stressed out and my stomach is messed up, it's hard to remain focused.
So yesterday, out of the blue, it was announced that Queen Bee will be working from home. This option is not available to any of the rest of us. That means more phones and more marketing responsibilities for the rest of us. I was upset at first, because that's totally unfair, until I learned from Associare Attorney that she's no longer on the payroll! She's more of a contract worker, now, working only on certain files in a commission. Wow!
Regardless, with her out if the office now, I anticipate my stress levels will decrease significantly. At least that's my hope.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
my queen bee thinks she's the BEST in the world and wants everyone to watch her and be nice to her. except, she doesn't pay mind to anyone else!~
My scopes are done. Doctor found nothing except a little inflamation in the stomach and small intestine that she biopsied. I had a hard time with the prep solution that is supposed to clean out the GI tract. Oh my that stuff tastes vile. And I had to drink 8 oz (250mL) every 20 minutes. So I did that 12 times-- and couldn't go to the bathroom!!! Oh NO! Not sure if that's psychological or biological, but I just could not go. I thought the low fiber diet would help this cleansing process.... I'm not so sure it was worth it. I called the on-call doctor who said to use an enema to get things started. Well, by then I had already showered (per doctor's instructions) and had my pajamas on. Just as I was getting ready to figure out how to use one, my body kicked in. The bad part is that by then, it was 10:30p. So I was up much too late, going to the bathroom.
I got up extra early and started the remaining prep solution at 4:40a, because I was afraid that I wouldn't be cleansed enough. Fortunately, everything worked out, and now I have 2 enemas for future use. I don't know how Princess Diana used to do enemas on a regular basis as part of her health routine. No thank you.
One thing I learned from this is that fasting is NOT for me. No way.
Rest day today -- no workouts but will do my push-ups tonight. Ate yogurt when I came home and will have a regular dinner. I am so looking forward to getting back into my routine tomorrow!
PS While I'm very glad that this went well and all... There is still no answer to the cause of my anemia problem. So that remains a mystery.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
i'm glad it's over for now, so you can put that to bed....
i hope there's a bigger solution for your anemia, but it is quite common in women isn't it?
Today is my last day of solid food before the liquid diet starts tomorrow, so even though I'm not a big fan of eating what I'm eating on this low-fiber plan, I'm grateful that at least I can still eat. My husband says I'm overreacting, but I've done this before and it is HARD. I get very cold and shaky when I don't eat. I also get very crabby, LOL. I bought some flavored coffees for tomorrow, to help, since I cannot have any creamer or dairy product of ANY kind tomorrow. My biggest fear is that I will forget and just slip into my normal routine and then - Ooops!
To put a positive spin on this, I am going to try to perhaps use this experience to broaden my self-awareness and those of others who face starvation on a daily basis. I'm not very good at expressing what I want to achieve in words, but I'd like to incorporate some kind of prayer and/or meditation with the hunger sensation... Kind of like giving it up to God. However, being at work, I do not think the Monday Madness will allow me to explore myself much, as at work, everything is focused on clients and co-workers. *sigh* Okay....
I thought more about chair yoga. After Friday's drama, I was like, "I don't need this kind of negativity in my life" - but then, almost instantaeously, I realized that **I** was the one causing the negativity in my own life! The instructor had said during our last session as she's taking us through de-stressing and re-focusing, "That argument you had earlier today? You can choose to let that negativity go and leave it behind..." WOW! Once I made this connection (yesterday), I decided that I still have something to learn from yoga, so I'll go back next month. :)
I did weight training last night and then finished up with a few exercises I didn't do last night this morning. I'm also sticking with my push-ups challenge. Right now, I'm using lighter weights with more reps, with the honest intention of going back to using heavier weights again, soon.
I went back and re-read that job listing that I had thought about applying for: no health insurance. So I do need to stay with where I'm at, for now, at least.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
I'm also like you with the eating thing, getting cold and shaky when i don't. you'll be so happy when this process is over! i'm sending you positive thoughts!
that's thoughtful to incorporate a prayer for others and is such a GREAT idea to take your mind off your own discomfort!
Cheers to another month of yoga. I know it ends later and on a Friday night, try not to let any stress get between you and hubby when you are both tired after the yoga the next time! you've had a long day and week, i suggest not planning too much for after yoga. just to go home and relax for the remaining part of friday night, even go to bed if you want to...perhaps you both are just tired when it's over.
I'm glad that other job isn't even a possibility - it's great to see you keeping the job you have for a longer period of time. :-)
lastly, i have just upped some of my weights. it's about time. i had bought alternate 5lbs higher weights when i started this home workout, and it took me a whole year and a half to even touch the #35's. !!! I was always using #30s for my bicep curls and thought i'd never even take the labels off the #35s, but since i've been doing weights very regularly since my trip to Florida, i am once again improving. i use an interesting form, and some people would tease me that it's not considered a correct move, but i enjoy lifting biceps this way...i also use lighter weights, currently #15s but hoping to move up to #20s for another one of my exercises bc i easily get up to 12 reps, usually moving past that, so i can easily bump those up for the exercise i use them for. those weights are adjustable, so i actually have to take them apart and do the math to get to #20, and requires a hair of thought - that's why it's taking me SO LONG to do it LOL LOL LOL...i will fix them maybe tonight.
Happy to report that my weight has stayed the same and so has my body fat %. I am quite pleased with this.
Today is Day #2 of the low fiber diet. I ended up having the stuffed cantaloupe (stuffed with chicken salad) rather than the low-carb skillet, because I'm supposed to stay away from red meats for this low-fiber thing. So yesterday was a lot of cheese, some scrambled eggs, Greek yogurt, honeydew and cantaloupe. I miss my vegetables something fierce.
Chair yoga was challenging. There was one movement that I felt pain in my left shoulder - like, Yikes! We did another stretch that I was so surprised was a challenge to my upper thighs -- what's that all about? Then had a nice dinner at the local diner with the less-than-satisfying stuffed cantaloupe (normally, I would NEVER order that -- completely NOT my style or taste). Treated myself to sugar free chocolate cream pie for dessert, but ate too much of the crust (has carbs).
Sadly, though, we got home and Husband and I got into an arguement over laundry. He started yelling and banging his cane on the countertop. I'm like, "I'm done, you win" and went upstairs to get ready for bed. So no evening bike-ride to help with digestion, but whatever....
So for the third time in a row, this stupid chair yoga has ended up with me completely stressed out. I don't think it's worth it any more, and I am seriously contemplating whether I will attend any more sessions.
The fatigue - I think - is related to the anemia. I'm still taking the prescribed iron pills but they don't seem to be helping with feeling fatigued. The only thing that they seem to have done is totally mess up my GI routine, with awful nausea in the morning from taking them on an empty stomach (as I'm supposed to do) to constipation.
This sucks.
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
I am also missing veggies and will find some for dinner ! Oh, I just realized I have tons of cabbage at home ! Woohoo ! That’s what I’ll have :)
Try a few more weeks of the iron pills before giving up.
If you don’t enjoy the chair yoga - or it’s stressful on a Friday, skip it. It’s your life and be true to yourself even before your husband I think !
Sounds like we both indulged in dinner last night :)
I asked the doctor, "How do you know the anemia isn't just diet-related?" and she said that the numbers are too low for this issue to be just food-related (and frankly, I agree because I do eat a lot of dark green leafy vegetables and red meat).
The fatigue has become impossible. I was so tired after work that I had to lie down for about 20 minutes before getting up to eat dinner. And again this morning, like yesterday, woke up exhausted. So hard to get up... instead of feeling recharged, I still feel drained.
Today starts the modified diet to prepare for the colonoscopy cleanse on Monday. Fortunately, husband and I should still be able to go out for dinner after chair yoga. I looked up the menu online and I am torn: should I go for the low carb skillet (not exactly on the modification diet) or do the right thing and order the stuffed cantaloupe?
I just hope that I can leave work on time and have enough energy to do all of this. And remember to do push-ups!
Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!
It's ok to be tired. I think over the weekend you should try to sleep a little extra and let your body rest. Let your mind rest / wander in your dreams.
Also, i think emotionally this (fatigue) has something to do with your son being away.
Is the cantalope stuffed with cottage cheese? that will not be enjoyable, i don't think. if i were in your spot, i'd have chosen the meat :)
remember to take each day at a time, do not worry - you will do ok with the cleanse for the colonoscopy. remember to enjoy the moment (the chair yoga, the dinner, and your pushups!)
you can do this. you don't have to regain again the weight you lost and are doing such a great job maintaining. just take this weekend to rest in / sleep in when you need to.
i already feel better today with my decision and i did sleep in a couple hours and i'm glad i made this decision to not go into work today! Today is just a way for me to catch up and have a bit less to accomplish this weekend.
When my trip comes up, i will be really busy and i am glad to have a low key day now, but manage some productivity in also.
I would also choose the skillet over the stuffed cantaloupe :)
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100% with you and got you completely. i know you are you and i am me, but, i also couldn't get Keto to work for me. i didn't have energy and replaced carbs with caffeine. skin was horrid. then, after days low on carbs, i'd go overboard with them. that's why i also watch carbs, but eat them in moderation and why i don't do keto either. it doesn't work for me. also, i love veggies and fruit. a little sugar in a decaf coffee is good, sugar goes a long way, it also balances your sugar levels. do your thing. it's actually i think even cooler to do what you do, based on doing research. to involve many aspects of what you have learned, to make them part of your own diet. that's what i do.
Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
also, the majority of athletes i'd presume would NOT do keto. i know there are a few that do, especially in weightloss community, but i don't think that's the popular approach for athletes. and there's a reason why!
Horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
additionally, keto to start you'll lose the water weight. afterwards, you'll be lean without the water weight i'd say. but, "lean look" is only accomplished by the growth of more lean muscle taking over the place where fat was. it's not like me and you are so lean we need keto bc we are heading into a physique body contest, you know? keto can be maybe short term, i'm not sure about sustainable for MOST people.
BearCountryGG on 04/17/2019:
I read back a few days ago and see that your son is in the service now.....I'm happy to see that it all worked out for him....maybe those extra months at home were a good thing. At that age a few months equals a lot of maturing.
horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2019:
i agree with BCGG.
horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2019:
Happy Easter to you! :)