The scale was favorable this morning, in spite of TOM being here, and all the bloat that goes wtih that, AND the tortilla chips I had for dinner last night - and too many of those. Oh those are so good, but my tummy was complaining afterwards, that I had eaten too many of them.
To speak to people's anxieties over COVID, here is a good example of what I feel almost on a daily basis:
I was quite pleased to receive a notice that the book I placed on an interlibrary loan way back on March 13th, right before the shutdown, was available for me to pick up from the library! I have not been to the library since they re-opened, mostly because I thought services were limited to picking up and dropping off only, i.e. no browsing. Oh but I really wanted this book - 365 yoga meditations!!!! LOL... So my heart won over my head, and I read the guidelines on the library's website before leaving.
Even with this knowledge, of course comes all the anxiety. What if I do it wrong? What if there are other people there? Will I be publically shamed? It doesn't help that the library's parking lot and building is under construction, so everything is different anyway. Oh but I really want that book!
So I go, park. There are more people there than I expected, but most of them are older people leaving with books. I put on my mask, use hand sanitizer in my car, go into the building. As soon as you walk in, there is a bottle of sanitizer with a request to use it. I do, even though I just did this in the car. I found my book on hold and check out. Then I realize that the library IS open for browsing, and there is another book I was wanting to read on the shelves. So I go straight to that section, 2-minute search to find the book, checked it out, and left with TWO books, instead of one. In and out, very quick, done. Yippee!
But see all the angst that I had to face and overcome? And it feels like everything has become like this.
I'm glad to know that the building went through a sanitizing process while it was shut down and the books themselves are cleaned in between checkouts. The yoga book has probably been sitting in a bin at the library since March. The other book is about Zimbabwe, and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been checked out in a few years. So I'm not TOO worried about handling the books themselves.
On my way to and from, I noticed that the one fancy health club (not mine) does not have their outdoor pool open this year. Very sad, but this is the right decision. The fancy gym I belong to has opened their outdoor and indoor pools and that's NOT the right decision. No masks, no social distancing while in the water, NO THANKS.
Unfortunately the rules don't work if not everyone follows them, and Illinois' numbers are going back up again. So I'm sure it's only a matter of time before we lose the gyms again.
Progress as of today: 44.5 lbs lost so far, only 7 lbs to go!
Because today is such a busy day at work, with closings, the boss has mandated that we come in at 8a instead of 9a. Which means I have to start my day early so that I can get my morning workout in. I'm on the bike now as I type on my phone.
Both Mistakes Girl and my husband were quick to ask if this means we can go home an hour early, too. Ha ha ha...
After not doing any yoga for about 2 weeks, I went to the studio for an in class session of Flow to Yin. This is a class that I've been taking virtually. It's so much nicer in person!!
BUT there were 2 other people there, which kind of startled me, because usually it's just me. I used to love it when there are other people there but now, with COVID, I'm like, Eew, get away.
It did not help that I could tell no one had used hand sanitizer or wore a mask while in the studio. (The rule is to wear a mask until you're in your spot for class, and then afterwards, as you leave. ) This upset me greatly.
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
i have decided to skip the trip with the friend...it's too much risk during the pandemic and while i'm home trying to do work anyways - i'll wait for a future time to do it! :)
Worked out my work problem yesterday and I slept so well last night.
Work was very busy, so no yoga. I don't know if I'll do yoga on Thursday, either. Don't like feeling rushed after spending a whole day at work, being rushed!
I rode my indoor bike for 10 miles and then did some weights.
I signed up with a group to do #75hard. If you Google it, you can see what it entails. I've modified for myself a bit, but my goal is to stick to my plan - even if it doesn't exactly match #75hard - for 75 days.
75 days takes me through my birthday and the Montana trip. So hopefully, I'll stay on track
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
you sound good.
i plan to use my indoor bike more during this week.
if i get a job one day that enables me once again to drive, i'd consider rejoining a gym :)
It seems as though my trip in August to see our son in Montana may possibly not happen now. My son found out last night that someone he was in close contact with has tested positive for COVID. So he will be quaranteened for all of next week, and possibly the week after that. (I'm guessing that will happen.) That takes us up to the week that we were going to arrive. I don't know if they would allow him to leave base if we came to visit.
I really, really wish that we could have waited until September or October to go see him. That would have been MY plan. But son wants a car, because you can't get to any place off base unless you have a vehicle. And my husband is dead-set on helping him with that. With all of his disabilities, my husband can no longer travel alone. He denies this vehimently, but the last time we went by air together, this was made SO evident to me.
So my daughter is going, because she wants to see her brother, and she could go with Mr. Donkey, just the 2 of them. But then it would seem kind of awful if Mom stayed behind. What kind of mom doesn't want to see her kid? Plus, my daughter is not real patient with her dad - let's just say, it's easier if there are 2 people to help him, rather than just one.
I just wish that my stubborn son and husband could have waited. Well, COVID might make that decision for us.
It is cooler out today, because it is cloudy. It was very humid this morning, but enjoyable to sit out on the deck watching the birds, squirrels, and the rabbit. Then it rained. Now it looks like it's getting lighter out, but the sky is still gray.
I will confess to you all here that I have a file at work that has been bothering me. Bothering me so much that it has cost me some sleep this weekend. I woke up at 4a yesterday (got up at 4:30a after realizing I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep), and then I woke up at 1:35a this morning ready to tackle this problem. Fortunately, this time, I *was* able to get back to sleep, sometime around 3am.
There, having written that down, I feel that I can let this problem go until Monday morning. It involves a client in Vegas which is 2 hours behind us anyway, so nothing's going to happen until noon anyway.
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
I decided this morning to call the Vegas client (at her office) and leave a voice message. Then I'm talking to my boss about our dilemma. The whole problem started with the title company taking too long with our order. ARGH...
today it was that real hot that you had, but no humidity! i was out on my terrace with a strong breeze and loved it, even when the sun was directly shining on me!
that should give you some extra time to prepare for the Vegas client since they are the 2hours behind :) feel better about it.
other than that, you sound good Donkey.
now i just have to shave my legs for the beach tomorrow LOL. must shave well....
I am happy to finally report some numbers going down. I think I feel better overall, too. Oh, it was so hard not to give in to those desires to have a food fit in the evening. I see that this "evening food fit" thing - not a craving, exactly, but more like anxiety - is definitely an emotional thing. It's like I don't know what to do with myself at the end of the day.
So I will continue to focus on food intake this next week, and I will also start exploring things to do with myself with those evening hours before bedtime.
One thing that HAS helped me this week is to think of the office manager for the clinic downstairs at my work building. She's the one that lost 20 pounds during the shut-down, because she forgot to eat, and decided to kick up her exercising. She'll even tell you herself, that this is not a healthy way to lose weight! BUT, for me, it reminds me of the importance of monitoring my intake.
It's going to be brutally hot today, so I've already got my laundry hanging outside and filled up my birdfeeders. I've also cleared out the back seat of my car and the trunk area (better organized) because my husband complained that I had too much recycling in the car. "You can't save the world by keeping this stuff in your car!" LOL - he's completely right, of course.
So sometime soon, I need to stop at the animal shelter to drop off aluminum cans. I don't know what to do with my plastic bags until stores start accepting them again. I see these bags of discarded plastic bags and I cannot even think of them ending up in a landfill :-( I think I may just have to let that go, though...
I learned more about what my school district has in mind for schools. We have 5 grade schools (K-5), 2 middle schools (6-8) and only one high school (9-12). Each school is way overcrowded. So:
I'm glad I don't have to worry about it. I'm glad I'm not school staff. But I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice if they hired teachers just to each online classes? I know that takes more money, etc., but I thought it might make the online learning experience easier and better for everyone if online had a dedicated staff and in-person had its own staff too.
Don't know yet if I'll make it to the gym. I do know that I want to do biceps and triceps with weights today.
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
I associate tv watching at night with snacking. Bad habit.
My granddaughters live in Michigan and I'm hoping their schools are online. At least in the autumn.
But I agree that keeping busy with ANYTHING is really helpful to keep the eating at bay until a proper mealtime or snack.
so you ask how this relates...this is my own personal opinion that it is OUR responsibility to find a way to help ourselves. unlike smoking, we get a benefit where we still get to eat. and we still get to eat "everything." we just need to learn / re-learn how to eat in ways that are going to help us. and i feel that we can all be successful... (please don't take my comments here as a lecture or bossy emphasis, it's more like i am trying to relate to your entry and feelings and give my opinions on how i think of the whole eating / diet / weightloss / health dilemna...)
I think you're right that it's our own responsibility to help ourselves. One reason why I never subscribed to a food service (think along the lines of Jenny Craig) is that I didn't want someone doing the thinking for me.
Now I fully acknowledge that for some people, that's what they NEED, and that's fine. What I'm trying to say is that a food service, where the meals are preplanned, isn't what I wanted for my journey.
When my stepfather got very sick and subsequently passed away, she gained 20 pounds back, so she went back to her plan and lost it again. As far as I know, she's keeping it off.
Some roadblocks are just too difficult to pass at times...
anyways back to what i was saying. My whole eating approach now, for instance, possibly goes back to self-commitments but also to my learned approaches and tricks to staying around this weight...
as a single person with not too much stress going on, it's been more simple and i realize that you have more challenges in that yuo are still working and you are also a caretaker.
so just remember to care for yourself as well as you care for everyone else in your family. try not to take losing weight as optional or something you don't deserve. try not to take it as a "game" where you can play the game of gaining weight until you really feel you want to make a change:
this is how i think of his smoking - that he's still playing a game with himself and refuses the real issues he is causing himself. he won't look it in the face and see how bad his health is because he'd rather not take it seriously.
when i was far younger and more just starting out and as i regained all the weight i lost between 24-26 years old, i took the weight and eating thing as a game too. I didn't worry about eating till i was sick and didn't think how i would be sorry later for my binges. i just decided to "meditate" and relax while i binged. i would not think about how tomorrow i would regret it. i separated the binge from the consequences.
now, i am actually somewhat able to consider how much i am eating "now" and realize how it will affect me later. I have actually been able to "think" during a lot of my eating time of how it will relate to my after-eating.
will i be content on what i ate? will it totally set me back and anger me and make me stressed ? will it make it harder for me in the weeks to come?
the reason why i eat fries (small servings), chips often, and all these "calorie-dense" (but small servings) foods is so that i can feel i ate them and enjoy them and not have to be upset the next day or feel deprived. the more i have added in these characteristically high cal foods into my diet, the more i feel satisfied mentally.
yesterday, when i had a fried chicken dinner, i wasn't satisfied mentally or physically as i ate it while distracted on the phone and ate it too fast with not enough veggies or filling low cal additions to the meal. but it didn't cause me to binge later as i realized it was pretty high cal meal after i calculated it, i was able to drink low cal seltzer later in the night, and i guess i was busy last evening so i didn't get fully distracted at home on thoughts of food as i left my apt right after eating the dinner.
part of this process for you, me and the others on here is how we can distract ourselves from a binge or to get mentally prepared not to go through with a binge.
you love cake. and i think it's important for you to have it. perhaps have it after a light dinner of deli meat and salad 1x a week at first or something more than is typically thought of as "typical." it's your food journey and i feel that breaking the rules is part of making your journey work for you!
for instance, writers always "break the rules of writing" because they are no longer novices. and me, you and the others on here are also not novices. the rules are meant to be broken. cake is here to be eaten. i don't do cake because i like smaller cookies, but it is what works for you!
the choices you make are not wrong. they are your choices and your journey. don't let others or other diet mentalities tell you what your choices have to be and what rules shouldn't be broken!
keep on! :)
That is to say, it's very easy for me to pass on the donuts, muffins, junk, that comes into the office. That's usually not very good quality.
No exercise last night, but held my eating in check. I can't say I'm looking forward to weighing in tomorrow (Saturday), but I seem curious to see what the number is.
If my exercise is causing me to eat too much, I'm probably overdoing it.
I opted to go to bed early instead.
I'm so glad it's Friday. Everyone at work has mentioned that this has been a long, difficult week. So I just need to get through today.
Our school district has opted to open, and we start school here in the middle of August. There are options for elearning and hybrid (I guess where the kids attend some classes in person and others online. )
I'm so glad that my kids are out of school. My daughter is not taking classes at community college this term, either. There are predictions that the schools will close down again by October. We'll see. Illinois has done a good job of flattening the COVID curve, but once the schools start up, all bets are off.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
sometimes, for myself, it was early to bed after work as well. if you are tired, that's what's best!
glad it's the weekend for you!
So I guess at my job, when you go on vacation, you have to find your own substitute. I thought it would be Mistakes Girl, but she's telling me and my boss is telling me, that she doesn't think she can do it.
Male Co-Worker is like, that's not how taking vacation works, finding your own substitute. Like bringing someone from outside the office to work my desk for 3 or 4 days.
My family was livid.
I rode the stationary bike and lifted weights last night. Eating was in check as well.
Probably no yoga tonigh . Just too stressful to be so rushed.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
My boss is not really a good HR manager. He dislikes having to manage staff stuff.
Donkey, there is no good reason for you to be stressed about taking four days off - days off that you are entitled to take - and be expected to look for someone outside the organization to cover your work while you're gone. That is absolutely unreasonable, and your boss should be well aware of that!
It is NOT your job to find a replacement for your holiday time. That is a BOSS problem, not a YOU problem.
Meanwhile, everyone else goes camping, vacation, etc. NOT FAIR.
I did better with food last night. The sweets craving was difficult but I stayed focused and had only my standard 90 calorie piece of dark chocolate. It wasn't easy.
I did not go to the gym and I was extremely disappointed with myself. This disappointment, along with the little COVID scare at work, was the reason for the food fit Monday night.
My daughter went to the gym after dinner and gave me an assessment of the # of people on the cardio deck. There is an area of machines that I could use and not be bothered by others, pretty much at all. The drawback is that it's not my favorite brand of elliptical, but a comparable machine nonetheless.
I haven't done weights since Saturday. I would NOT do weights at the gym until this COVID thing passes. Too crowded, no masks, etc. So perhaps if I do not go to the gym tonight, I might lift at home.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
My gym is just too small. I won't be going. I'm looking at more workout videos online. My gym posts some links on FB.
I am learning this eek that I actually prefer to workout at home. No mask, no dumbbutts, equipment is clean, and I can drink coffee while I exercise. I shouldn't be so hard on myself for not going to the gym right now.
Oh I was in a foul mood yesterday at work. I just didn't want to be there in the worst way.
And Mistakes Girl was out for most of the day because one of her husband's co-workers tested positive for COVID. So everyone at his work had to get tested. MG didn't want to come to work if her husband tested positive, so she waited until results came in the afternoon. I'm glad everything came back negative.
I did not do yoga last night. I did not go to the gym. I did not ride my bike last night. I did not lift weights.
Instead, I had a food fit. Started with 2 pieces of dark chocolate. Then I had 2/3 cup of chocolate truffle ice cream. Then 7 figs and 10 macadamia nuts. Then 8 marshmallows.
Believe it or not, after that, I still wanted to dive into a bowl of tortilla chips but managed to refrain and got ready for bed instead.
My stomach did not have any problems after that, and actually, I slept quite well.
Poor sick baby kitty had numerous enemas at the vet, as they couldn't get anything to come out. Finally, it worked. She goes back this morning for another flush out. We also ordered the blood test to see if the fungal infection is gone. I sure hope so because we're getting tired of giving her medicine. And I'm sure kitty feels the same way.
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
yeah, the food fit doesn't sound high volume. did you have dinner? did you change anything yesterday at all (besides not working out) that would want you to consume those foods?
something weird has happened to me lately and i am finally finding myself to actually be FULL once again after many of my meals. more than i have been in YEARS.it's prob due to not rushing.
so what exactly came out? was it like a compound of some sort or just nothing and then something? i hope she feels better, poor kitty.
i still want to suggest you take your own couple days off of work at some point, if you can. sorry to suggest something that you cannot do, if that's the case.
try to do what is good for you, lady. try not to be angry at yourself or judgemental but to be patient with yourself.
one of the things that has helped me, as i've told you before, over the most recent couple years, is to have snacks in my day that aren't that healthy. it's not really a health tip, but a maintenance tip i use.
and i still like to incorporate a snack of caffeine with carbs, though i don't do it so much right now that i'm home...but it always works after work or for a pick me up before a workout...
lately my meat portions are not as large, cooked veggies are big bc of the indian food, and carbs are also higher than they have been in years.
when i go back to work though, i will prob lower the carbs a hair bc i will be up more hours of the day and POSSIBLY have a MUCH larger appetite. we'll see.
i was trying to provide you with some tips. i do know we have pretty different eating styles though. for instance, i cannot really snack on fresh veggies and they haven't really ever filled me up for snack purposes...but who knows....maybe they would now!
try to lessen the portions of the "guilty items" but to allow them more often. maybe even 2x per day...like 3 hershey kisses in afternoon, 3 after dinner...
for instance, i eat tortilla chips as my carb with the meal. maybe some days try to plan in how you will add carbs to the menu to places where usually you wouldn't...
I woke up tired, but feeling good (if not a little sore) and grateful. I'm not looking forward to spending the next 8 hours at work, but ok.
I ended up going to the gym yesterday afternoon. I had nothing to do, and I didn't like the idea of spending my time off watching tv. I went alone, to assess the situation myself, and I'm glad I went.
I only did a bit of cardio on the elliptical, showered and came home. The steam room is closed (and rightly so), and so are the hot tubs. I do weights at home, so I did not go into that area, but did not see many masks there, because you are allowed to take off your mask while exercising.
I wore my mask all the time except for when I was actually ON the elliptical and then when I was in the shower. It was nice to see that most folks followed this protocol. But it seemed that there were quite a few who just couldn't do everything we're supposed to do. For example, some cleaned really well but wore no mask (*). Some wore a mask but did not disinfect.
*When I got home, my daughter said that masks were only mandatory on the main entrance level, but not on the cardio deck or weights area on the 2nd floor.
So I'm glad I went, but I haven't made up my mind if I will continue to go or not.
I decided not to "drastically" change up my routine, which was really only to use the better recumbent bike, with programs and real resistance levels, rather than use the older bike we still have, which is an easier ride. In the mornings, I'm stiff and sore, so the easier, older bike is good for limbering up, getting moving, etc.
Not sure what my yoga schedule will be this week .
Trying to focus on portion control this week , but then, after the gym I ate a whole bunch of carrots with guacamole. Around 9p, instead of just turning off the light and going to bed, I had a 100 calorie bag of popcorn!
It's hard, when I'm hungry!
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
that's scary about no masks at gym...
sorry if i'm too opinionated lately!!
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Change sure is hard.......but I'm glad to see that you got the books you wanted.
Yes, it's so nice to have something else to read.
And after I typed this, I *did* wipe down the covers of the books.
Horn_of_plenty on 07/26/2020:
I was having TOM these past few days too. Lots of bloating before it as well as some leg pain. glad it's basically over for this month!
that's wonderful that your library is open and you now have the books you wanted to read! nice job! I agree that many of us feel that anxiety and we have a lot going thru our minds before entering a public place.
yeah, at the beach club my parents, sister and her baby attend, there is little social distancing in the pool. they do take temperature when you enter the beach club, all guests, but it's a scary thing how close everyone can get to each other in the pool. i did realize that when i was in the pool the other day (of course, no mask in the pool).
This is not the time for pools, unfortunately. About a month ago, maybe a little longer, it was impossible to find inflatable pools in the stores around here.
I was delighted about the library! I can't believe how much this turned around my mood! And if we have another shutdown, I think the library system in Illinois will be prepared to weather it out. The lobby may not be open but they have a curbside procedure already in place.