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Donkey - Saturday Mar 23, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

OK, this will sound silly, but I'm happy to see that I've lost half a pound.  I know that this is really just maintenance.  I don't know what it is, but there is something terribly rewarding about seeing a lower number on the scale - even in maintenance.  You know, this is almost *disturbing* if I think about it.  

I have remained consistent or maybe even stepping up a little bit with the weights, but I am not seeing any visible changes -- no muscle cuts, not getting leaner -- and I am losing a little weight?  

I'm proud of myself for curbing the sugar free candy habit in the evenings.  I'm down to having just one, and now I'm out.  I am not going to buy any more for home.  I still have a bag at work, but that's going to stay at work, to use as a crutch/vice with the stresses at work.  Also, I do not think I will be making any more chocolate peanut butter bombs.  I would rather enjoy a square of dark chocolate (the darkest I can go is 90% - and I love this.  Not sweet, but anything higher tastes like baker's chocolate, which I cannot do -  way too bitter).

I mentioned this in my response to Maria's post, but I have noticed just how much I love and miss sugar.  My biggest downfall is needing sugar in my coffee.  I LOVE saccharine (Sweet N Low - the pink packets).  Just one packet is a sweet treat in my coffees!  But it's awful for a body - that stuff is poison.  So I've been searching for a substitute that works.  Unfortunately Stevia leaves a very tinny bitter aftertaste.  Swerve leaves an unpleasant cooling aftertaste and requires 3 TBSP to be sweet enough.  I've had mild success with Lakanto Monkfruit blend but that is expensive and it takes about 2 TBSP to get to an acceptable level of sweetness.

I can drink my coffee unsweetened, but I do not like it unsweetened every time.  And sometimes I use sweetened coffee as a substitute for eating dessert. 

While I was at the grocery store, I was giving some serious contemplation to adapting a plant-based diet.  I've tried that before and it just doesn't work for me, but I really wish it did.  




Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/23/2019:
I can't do Stevia...the room spins around when I have that, ha. I have decided I want to not only give up caffeine, but also artificial sweeteners. I have done some research on studies done of consumers of them and it was not good reports but I also feel that it may not be healthy with it being artificial sweeteners. At the very least I want to greatly reduce consuming any of them. What can 1 teaspoon of sugar do in coffee? 15 calories. Even if we drink more than one cup, we can always substitute something else in our diet to make up for those little coffee/sugar calories. I also use creamer in mine, 10 calories a teaspoon but often here lately I simply drink my coffee BLACK and actually enjoy it! My GM (gone to heaven now) lived to almost 97 and drank her coffee black and enjoyed it that way. I would like to get to where I do likewise, so I figure I'll just have a black coffee here and there and not feel like I have to have black coffee if I want a creamer/sugar coffee, ha. So have them both, ha. You are doing fantastic at maintenance and I totally 'get it' about wanting to go down lower. It is a perfectionism trait but also possibly ocd, which I say from experience because when I weighed 205, my goal weight was between 150 to 160...Ohhhh! I would be just 'so HAPPY' to get to between 150 to 160 I thought at that time (21 years ago)...checked out 17 diet books at the library and studied them and worked with what knowledge I could gather and when I finally got to that weight about a year later, it was just not good enough, had to go lower. Couldn't simply enjoy arriving at the goal, and staying put, cause apparently it was the journey I was enjoying (actually working at)...So, goal weight revised to 150, not higher nor lower, then after that was arrived at, was 145, then 140. I went all the way down to 132 and still was not happy. I think I got addicted to losing weight and also I got addicted to wearing smaller and smaller sizes, a number addiction. I remember how I felt wearing 6's. I was happy to be that size but I had very little energy. (Currently I wear stretch 8s, 10s, and 12s.) My figure was not the best for my height, needless to say at 132. I was sickly at that weight (I am tall at 5'8"). Are we ever happy with our weights/sizes? That is the question. Smile. But happy for you as you are doing fantastic!

Donkey on 03/24/2019:
I would love to be able to drink black coffee, but it's a little hard on my stomach. I have no problem (in my mind) having cream (real cream, not artificial non-dairy stuff) in my coffee. It's wanting the sweetness where I really struggle. One thing that I've discovered that sort of works is putting a couple of teaspoons of vanilla protein powder. I discovered this quite by accident, as I have leftover powder that I'm not using any more.

You are right, I need to come to terms with numbers on the scale and then move on. That's why I feel that weight training would help - if I could only start to actually see results!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2019:
No it is GREAT when in maintenance and going down a hair on the scale. Just like you do, I enjoy it too!

A half a pound is not enough to see cuts i don't think...but give it a few pounds and you will. Maybe a few more months of your upper body weights!

YUP, that 98% cacao chocolate i bought -omg too much taste like Baker's indeed...i will probably do something with it like melt it into yogurt or something. it is too strong is right! well, at least i can't overeat it!...it's just too strong to want to overeat on!

i also am sorta "off" of the fat bombs. lately, it's just smaller pieces of things, with some sugar...but i do love my "good fats" bars i've been eating, but i'm eating them as i have a "mocha coffee" made use the k-cups and since it's free at work, i use two kk-cups: one of coffee, and one of chocoalte lol. and i mix it into one cup, 4 ounces for the coffee and like 6 ounces for the chocolate, then add a little milk and it's a mocha coffee! there's some sugar but not a ton. and with the "fats bar" it's still ok. change of pace for awhile, i'm bored of coffee plain and needed something to go with the fats bar and find that having NO sugar in the AM doesn't give me an energetic feeling at all in the mroning at work and i do not like that feeling, at least not right now as of late! i sort of crave an energy boost when i get to work...probably because i don't eat before work, only when i get there after commuting so i am craving energy i guess? who knows!

Donkey on 03/24/2019:
Your comment made me think that perhaps if I combined my coffee with cream in it with eating something that is sweet in itself might do the trick. That way, the coffee complements the food. Thinking along the lines of a protein bar... I'm going to play with this and see if it works. Thanks for the idea!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2019:
but isn't monkfruit sorta like stevia? i thought it was sweeter than sugar? maybe i am wrong?

i will say that i cannot take caffeine without some kind of real sugar too. that's why i'd always mix a coffee (with stevia usually) with a granola bar on the side. i don't do well having caffeine without any sugar. that's why when i USED to have energy drinks, there was a granola bar or fruit involved too!

Donkey on 03/24/2019:
The monkfruit is sort of like stevia, but it IS different. I wish I liked stevia because that is truly natural from the plant. Monkfruit is a blend of monkfruit extract and a sugar alcohol from fermenting (something -- perhaps monkfruit).

Horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2019:
i also cannot do plant-based. i need meat and more protein at times.

Donkey on 03/24/2019:
Same boat here!

Donkey - Friday Mar 22, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Still struggling with my GI system a bit.  These iron pills really throw me for a loop.  I am supposed to take them on an empty stomach, which makes me nauseated.  They also cause some mild constipation.  I have also been feeling very bloated in the abdomin this week.  My daughter suggested hot water with lemon, and I have found that this is such a nice thing to drink even if I wasn't having problems.  I will probably stop this once the weather gets really warm, but I must remember to do this as often as I can.  I had a cup of this in the morning, instead of a 2nd cup of coffee, and now I am enjoying a cup of it right now.

When I went to my GI appointment, of course, they had to weigh me.  I must remember going forward that ANY doctor that I see will weigh me. 

  • Do not wear heavy pants, multiple layers, heavy sweaters, etc.. 
  • Do not put things in your pocket that weigh a lot like car keys. 
  • Do not drink a ton of water before walking into the building.  

When I stepped on the scale, I shut my eyes, but no worries, because the doctor sent me home with a print-out of the summary of my appointment, and sure enough, there was my weight: 137.8.

Skipped my evening bike ride and had a dinner date with my husband (had a very nice salad with chicken, brought home the cornbread for my vegetarian daughter, and skipped the ice cream dessert), and then we went grocery shopping together.  It was fun.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2019:
I will comment more later...but, did you have the dr appt after work? if so, of course you're gonna weigh more. same with me, i cannot even really consider an evening weight to mean very much if i usually weigh myself in the AM! so don't take such offense to that :)

i'm not sure if it was an evening appt...?

next, yes, the hot water with lemon is just like drinking kombucha and it helps move things along.

i tend to have GI issues at certain times during the month....hormones def affect my GI system too.

perhaps you can find something to help you bc of the iron pills...perhaps taking the probiotics or something.

if i were in your place, maybe google what people do who take iron pills to combat GI issues...you may find some good tips!

Donkey - Thursday Mar 21, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Logging in from work, because I do not see that I will have time to log in later.

Had an awesome leg workout yesterday!  Still not quite seeing the results I think I should be seeing, though.  Finished up the branched chain amino acids and will not reorder them.  As I mentioned when I started my "Advocare" experiment last year, I wanted to see if I could find Advocare supplement products for cheaper (i.e. same stuff, but different brand) and have results.  I wanted to prove to myself that one does not need to spend a $$$ fortune on Advocare stuff in order to successfully lose weight.  I have proved that to myself.  Unfortunately, now the next new thing in MLM is "Thrive" products.  I'll pass.  I really hate gimmicks like that.

I"m still struggling with fatigue.  It's a very odd feeling - I'm not tired, like I didn't get enough sleep.  And it's not the muscle achy that I get after weight training - it's not that.  It's almost like a tired feeling from not eating enough, but I *AM* eating enough -- in fact, I'm finding myself not really hungry, but eating because it's time to eat and because I like to eat.  

I am scheduled to be scoped in April.  The GI doctor said she is concerned about elevated lipids in my liver, i.e. signs of fatty liver.  She wants more blood work.  I looked at my test results and I didn't see anything that indicated there was a problem there.  I sent my test results to my mom, who is a retired nurse, to look at the blood work.  Doing a little Google research (for what it's worth), I'm already doing the right things to fight against fatty liver, although I suppose I could cut back MORE on red meat.  But cutting back on red meat won't help my anemia.  

Tonight is no weights, so I will be spending some time with my daughter on her night off, which isn't very often I get the chance to do something like that with her.

EDIT:  Queen Bee, who made a HUGE deal about going on Weight Watches - on and on, blah blah blah -  has been seen eating shamrock sugar cookies at work and ordering French fries and cheese curds at Culvers for lunch.  


Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2019:
Well hello! lately time is just FLYING! the days are turning into weeks and into months! Is it me or did March just begin Yesterday!?

now that you've stopped the Aminos, i have started, though i just realized i forgot to take them on the regular while i'm working out as of late! oops! i did it more for the taste, though...and for something else besides water and setlzer. not sure i'll continue either, but i did buy a lot...they don't all taste that great i have noticed!

i am also struggling with fatigue though i am starting to actually feel better now that the week is done tomorrow :) i tried pretty hard to get to bed earlier the past couple nights and it has helped immensely. i think i've also begun to get used to the time change. i also think my own fatigue was due to hormones / TOM.

Donkey on 03/22/2019:
My aminos were in capsules. I would take 2 after my morning bike ride and 2 after my evening activity (weights, bike, walk). I was taking them -- again because of the Advocare test but also to help with the fatigue, but protein isn't really the issue with me.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2019:
about the eating, i have noticed that if i eat a hair (not a mountain!) more of carbs, i feel less exhuasted...

Donkey on 03/22/2019:
Well..... Right now I'm sticking with keto. And if it turns out that I have a fatty liver -- or that I have a genetic tendency towards a fatty liver, I don't think I'll be going back to carbs unless it's a big thing (like my birthday CAKE)...

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2019:
Enjoy your time with your daughter! I may actually just do legs (lower body) 2x a week instead of 3x for now on...for awhile. we'll see how it works for me!

so Queen Bee will soon find another diet to start & never finish! LOL.

better QB do this than either of us! yuck...no need to lose all the weight just to gain it back, just horrible.

Donkey on 03/22/2019:
I'm looking forward to hearing what Queen Bee's next diet will be - LOL! I probably shouldn't be too hard on her. Maybe she was using her extra "freebie" weekly points or something.

I was watching her today (her back was to me) and I was trying to decide if she has lost any weight. I could not tell yet.

Donkey - Tuesday Mar 19, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Logging in today from HOME because I have TIME!  Doctor's appointment is at 10am.  I am taking this free time to do ME things and enjoying every minute of it!

My husband and my daughter are in Chicago to watch my son get sworn in again to enter the Air Force.  At least that's what we hope.  He was told yesterday that he was a no-go because he had a band-aid on his finger.  So after spending 3+ hours in Urgent Care to get a doctor's note to say that this was not an open wound.  Hopefully, that was acceptable to whomever the decision maker is about these sorts of things.  My son has the worst luck of anyone I've ever met.  My husband just texted me to say that it's a go.  He'll be sworn in at 10am.  RELIEF.

With this extra time, I decided to do my upper body routine with heavy weights this morning.  This will make the evening more relaxing, especially if I end up staying later at work to catch up on emails.  I was motivated and enjoyed the workout, although now I feel a little sore in my arms.  That's OK.  If I want, I can do some exercises tonight with lighter weights.  Funny how all this weight training using heavier weights isn't bringing the results like 30 days' worth of push-ups.  I never thought about adding push-ups to my routine.  Hmm...

Yesterday was so stressful at work.  I have 2 computers that I use, one has Windows 7 and the other has Windows 10.  I don't use the one with 10 - even though it's the better computer - because my templates are not saved on that computer.  Well, yesterday, our lawfirm database wasn't working on my old Windows 7 computer, so I had to try to work with the Windows 10 computer while trying to fix my 7 computer, while fielding calls and actually work.  It wasn't just my computer, but not all of the Windows 7 computers were affected.  Male Co-Worker ended up going home and getting his laptop to install the lawfirm software because he could not get it to re-install on his work computers.

After this fiasco, I decided NOW was the time to start copying templates that I use to the 10 computer.  So I went home for lunch and got my thumb drive and stayed late at work to copy files.  I suppose eventually I will transfer them over to the hard drive on the 10 computer, but at least I have them now, and they are portable.  The bright side of all of this is that I put in enough extra time at work to make up the time I will lose this morning because of the appointment.  So no losing sick or vacation time for me - YAY!

It's all about balance!

Funny thing about this morning is that I realize that if I worked part-time, I could manage to do the things that I like to do and have availability for my husband AND still have something to keep me in the game.  I was uplifted today by a post in one of the fitness Facebook groups I belong to, where the lady is turning 56 and getting ready to start her new job as a pilates instructor.  How cool is that?  One of my biggest real fears is that I will be in my early 50s and out of a job.  Once you are 50, it is REALLY hard to find a new job.  This is not a myth.  I have this first-hand from many people who have been in this position.  That is one of my biggest fears about leaving the job I have now - if we were to move and I'd be unemployed, 49, and looking for a job.  However, I might be in that position anyway if my boss decides to retire.

I think Someone is trying to tell me something...  It is my true belief that God speaks to us all the time.  We just have to know how to hear Him.


Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 03/19/2019:
You could definitely add push ups to your routine. If your arms aren't at least a little sore after a heavier weights session, then you're either not doing enough or not lifting enough :)

And I don't mean sore as in "holy something in there is very painful and feels torn or broken", I mean "oh when I touch that spot it feels kinda tender, and geez it kinda hurts to bring that cup of coffee to my mouth".

I think it's awesome that your friend is starting a new job as a pilates instructor. That's why i've been working so hard to get my fitness certification in now, because when I retire from my full time job, I want to be able to continue what i'm doing as a coach.

Donkey on 03/21/2019:
Thank you - I think I will add them in April.

innerpeace on 03/19/2019:
Great job for your son, I hope he likes it. My son is in the air force stationed in Georgia, he will be going to Hawaii in August. I don't think he particularly likes it but he is afraid he won't be able to find a job in the civilian world at 33.

and by law employers are not supposed to discriminate age, so you know you can get a job...you probably don't look a day over 25. lol.

We have windows 10 now and it takes a bit to get used to, good luck with that. Great job on your weight training.

Donkey on 03/21/2019:

Horn_of_plenty on 03/19/2019:
You should enjoy YOUR time AM. I'm glad you are able to have a bit of time before your appt. Wishing it goes well for you.

Congrats again to your son. Keep motivating him. It can be a struggle, but it will be so great if he continues on...

I highly recommend pushups. if you cannot do them yet, doing ones on your knees or even "wall pushups" is a start. pushups do wonders.

we were JUST talking at work (my supervisor and i) how we need to save all the files so she especially will be able to take them with her when this project finally ends (not close yet!)

yeah, i have heard that employers do not generally like to hire older, but, i will tell you that where i work now, i have seen 50's get hired..so..not sure what to say about that!

Donkey - Sunday Mar 17, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Wow, I had a great upper body workout last night -- who thought I would ever say that?  So, the way I have my weights set up is that I have my bench and heavier weights downstairs in the basement, and then I have a floormat and medium weights (8lb dumbbels) in my bedroom.  I did 2 sets of heavy weights downstairs, while watching reruns of the Great British Baking Show -- falling in love with the show all over again -- and then went upstairs to watch the news (I'm a news junkie) and do 2 sets with lighter weights upstairs.  Same exercises -- added one more exercise for the back -- but with lighter weights, and I felt like that gave me an extra "oompf!"  

I would like to see if I can sustain this during the workweek. 

I might try to take a walk outside today.  It's still quite chilly (40F) but nice and sunny.  I want to see if there are any new houses for sale in the area too - LOL...

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/18/2019:
i like your idea of using the heavy weights first and following up with lighter weights. I didn't know what you meant earlier entry when you wrote to mix up heavy and light. i thought separate workouts for each type on different days but if it's more like one workout with combined elements, i find that a great option and beneficial to start out heavier and do more sets later with more reps. good deal here.

Back is very important. my fave back exercise i stopped doing as it required two types of machines (2 options) at the gym. however, i do recall there is one exercise i sometimes do, when i'm thinking about it. also, i Do always stretch my back. it's important for us - office workers.

i was walking yesterday do. it was around 37F. i brought along all the essentials including some foot warmers in my shoes. so i was comfortable :) also the sun helps.

legcramps on 03/18/2019:
Great job on the workout! Glad you are back to enjoying them rather than feeling lethargic and low energy. Did you figure out what the culprit was?

Donkey - Saturday Mar 16, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Slowly coming back down in numbers.  It was a good week, eating-wise.  Good choices, good portions, for the most part.  Trying to cut out the sugar-free hard candies in bed while I read at night, before bed.  I'm down to just one, and hopefully I can do something to eliminate that last one.  I really would like to see myself back - solidly - in the 120s, though.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I have been battling fatigue this week.  Not so much as being tired, as just feeling exhausted in my muscles - but can't say it's muscle-related, per se.  It just goes that deep.  I had to curtail my 2nd lower body weight routine on Tuesday because I just didn't have the energy and just wanted to go to bed.  Felt the same way Wednesday but forced myself to do a full workout on the upper body because my favorite episode of Star Trek TNG was on.  Otherwise I do not think I could have made it.  

I read in a Facebook group that it's good to mix up heavy and light weight workouts.  I was wondering if I did my weekend upper/body splits with heavy weights... of maybe doing my workday workouts with lighter dumbbells. Especially with work starting to get busy, I've been coming home later each day, with dinner time being around 6pm instead of 5:30p this past week.  

Legal clinic this morning was pretty much a waste of my time - a whole Saturday morning, gone *poof*.  The organization is in a prolonged state of change and the disorganization that comes along with change.  It's not really rewarding any more, except that I really like the people that I work with at the clinic.  We've been together as a cohesive group for about 9 years now.  Funny, we really do not do anything together outside of clinic, which meets 1x a month, for 10 months out of the year.  Yet, I really look forward to meeting up with these folks and hearing what's going on in their lives and such.

Well, at least I have the rest of my weekend for myself, and I do plan to enjoy it and make the most of it!

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/17/2019:
Same here, i'm working on better choices and taking off a little bit of weight to feel better in my body and clothes!

Let me tell you, i was battling that same, horrible fatigue. I'm feeling MUCH better after sleeping in on the weekend, LATER than usual...so i'm sure it's that we are STILL getting used to the time change as the time i slept in till both yesterday and today is when i would have gotten up if there wasn't a time change (9am today and yesterday, but it would have been 8am without the time change)...so i'm still used to the previous time, if that makes sense!

Donkey on 03/17/2019:
That makes complete sense to me - and it's helpful to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this.

Yep, catch those little extra pounds now before it becomes more and harder. I know you can do this. As daylight increases and weather warms up, this will become easier and easier to do. I know you got this!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/17/2019:
personally, i'd just choose one way to do the weights. and stick with your routine. i feel once you have a routine, stick with it for a few months. but too much switching for me would be too confusing to stick with...

i agree that even a half hour change in getting home and dinner does conflict with exercise lol...!

I certainly do hope you are enjoying your weekend. days are getting longer and warmer and that's a wonderful thing.

i plan to take advantage of free events locally more this year!

Donkey on 03/17/2019:
I would like to talk about my upper body weight training last night in today's entry, but I'm going to use this workweek to see if I can tweak up my routine to make it sustainable.

I really enjoy reading about the events that you attend. How was Jerry Seinfield? Not free, for sure, but I bet it was a lot of fun! I've always wanted to partake in free stuff like that, but unless one of my kids or myself were involved, I haven't. I feel like this is something I would like to do more of.

Donkey - Friday Mar 15, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Logging in from my phone, which I hate doing, but I will not have time to do so otherwise.  I had intended to log in at work, but it's getting too busy now to do that.  I get caught up on emails,  turn to a task, and come back to 9 more emails.   The last week of March, Mistakes Girl is going on vacation,  which means even more work for me....  Lots of overtime, but I'd rather be not so busy. 

Not stressed out but Monday is the last day I will see my son before bootcamp.  Tuesday is my doctor's appointment with the GI doctor. 

On top of everything,  I've been fighting this awful fatigue. Feeling so drained every morning, and some afternoons,  although yesterday I was on overdrive to get everything done.

Then, just this morning I realized that I have legal clinic on Saturday so  I won't be able to sleep in to get extra rest.

Eating has been ok but had to abbreviate my 2nd weight training espisode on Tuesday - legs - because I was so tired.  No hopes for a good weigh-in tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2019:
OMG you wrote an entry!!! wooohoooo....will be writing soon MORE comments :) just happy to see a return of our Jdonk!

Donkey on 03/16/2019:
Trying! It's so hard lately, to find time to gather my thoughts and not be too tired to sit down and write. I read entries here every day -- multiple times. I miss everyone!

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2019:
I have been also feeling HORRIBLE this week. It's def the hour time change which has also been disastrous for me and my coworker Maria. both of us are feeling just horrible, so i can relate.

Soon the WEATHER will change for the better, and it will help both of us along. It's been a long, cold Winter and the time change hasn't helped!

Donkey on 03/16/2019:
You know, it NEVER occurred to me that this might be because of the time change, but now that you mention it, it makes complete sense!

legcramps on 03/15/2019:
Must be something with the moons, I haven't been feeling myself either. Just take the rest when you can get it, and do what you can. No one need ask for anymore than that.

Donkey on 03/16/2019:
That's right - that's all I can do. I will comment more on this in my entry today. Thinking of making a change - again - to weight routine.

Donkey - Sunday Mar 10, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

Feeling pretty good this morning!  Yesterday, I had this awful feeling of fatigue that I just could not shake off until after dinner - when it's almost time for bed!  Pushed through my bike rides and upper body weights.  I did much better last night with sweets cravings.  It was my husband's birthday, so I made him a dish of brownies, per his request, and I thawed out some of my chocolate keto cake for myself.  I was satisfied with that.

I am happy to report that I think I have found a (natural) sweetener that will work for my coffee:  Lakanto Monkfruit Sweetener.  Minimal aftertaste.  I tried giving stevia one more try this morning, and the metallic aftertaste is just... NO.  That's too bad because I believe that it is the healthiest sugar alternative out there.  Swerve does not work for me for coffee.  So I've been using Sweet N Low (saccharine), with reluctance, but it was the only thing that would work for me.  The monkfruit is not as sweet, but that's OK.  And FYI, while I usually have a sweetener in my coffee, I do not always have it.  Once in a while, I just want a cup of coffee with cream.

Today is lower body weights. I must be sure to wear proper footwear for support.  Last time, I didn't, and that lead to some soreness that I had to stretch out.  I slept pretty well, in spite of turning the clocks an hour ahead and losing that time to sleep.  I think today will be mostly spent at home, although Mr. Donkey has a movie w/discussion thing he signed up for at the library.  I'm not signed up, but I will happily take him and/or pick him up.

I received an online message from my doctor, letting me know that my ultrasound came back OK, with the exception of a 2.6cm cyst on my ovary, which is not the cause of the anemia, but something to be monitored.  She wants me to have another ultrasound in about 6 weeks to see if the cyst is changing, and to pursue an appointment with a GI doctor, which I am doing.  I want to see when the scope is scheduled, and then I will request the follow-up ultrasound. 

This is the last full week we'll have our son here at home.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/11/2019:
Yum. Saw superfood MCT oil creamer at Costco this week... looked yummy. I need that Costco Groupon deal to come around again so I can try it!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/11/2019:
I'm glad you're feeling better and the cravings are less intense. I have my weeks of that, too! you are NOT alone! Happy Bday to your Hubs!!! <3

I have heard of that sweetener. I also DO LIKE monkfruit's taste! you just have to find what works for you! :) Stevia is basically what i started with - and never stopped.

Someone at work made a joke that "everyone gets cancer" and why not just use the "pink packet" when i told him there was Stevia right there, too, and he could take it (and it's more expensive!)....i didn't like his joke either! thought it was harsh...! he was young and i doubt he has known anyone too close with it or i don't think he would've said it....but it's ok, he's ok! basically we don't know the effects of anything, but in moderate quantities i feel things are OK...so i'm not trying to worry you AT ALL. i do believe moderation is a wonderful thing!

like you, i like to change up my coffees and not always have everything tasting the same!

I've been splitting up workouts, too..it's going to have to happen for home workouts during the week as i see that sleep is simply more important than a long late night workout...i'm going to have to "workout" on more days, which, is probably healthier and will probably have more benefits! (like daily calorie burns increasing!)

Horn_of_plenty on 03/11/2019:
movie with discussion...i'm glad Mr. Donkey likes the library too! not sure about you, but by me, there are SO MANY DAILY library programs..i guess they are mostly for senior citizens!? there's like an event most days of the week!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/11/2019:
yes, proper workout gear is a MUST. i have very limited footwear i like for myself. even outside of workouts. you know i'm picky, due to previous lower body injuries i like to be comfortable with my legs and footwear!

Keep us updated with the cyst. it's true sometimes things like that may disappear...depends on many things. Keep positive and watchful!

As for your son, I am SO HAPPY FOR HIM! so proud! keep positive and remind him to stay positive and knowing it can be a difficult proccess, the training he's entering, it will be challenging, but to keep on and finish :) he's come so far already. so happy for your son!!!!!!!!!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/11/2019:
i'm seeing the MCT oil everywhere, i think it's time for me to try it..

horn_of_plenty on 03/14/2019:
keep on, seems a busy time of year over here for all us DDers!

Donkey - Saturday Mar 09, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 134.5

After the week that I've had, I'm surprised that the numbers on the scales aren't higher.  I was truly expecting to see 136 this morning.  My focus this week is to focus on eating.  It's always the eating part that trips me up, LOL.  Yesterday, and specifically, last night, was the best I've done all week, with respect to sweets, nighttime eating, etc., so hopefully, I'm back on track.  I think I had better luck with low-carb eating than keto eating.  Well, weight-wise, I did better with low carb, but having the extra fat and protein with keto, the numbers on the scale are a bit higher, but I feel much better.

So Horn has been asking a couple of times when it was that I decided that I'm on maintenance.  I went back and looked at previous entries, to find that I reached my goal at the end of June 2017.  The "problem" was that after that, I went on to lose another 12 pounds.  I think my lowest weight this time around was 124 or 124.5, and even then I wasn't really thinking maintenance.  And now I am gaining weight back, still under goal, but...  

It's like I keep moving the carrot (reward) from the Donkey (me) so that I never reach my end-goal.  Maybe I'm gaining back weight so that I can keep the "gotta lose weight" mentality, because I don't know what it feels like to say, "I've accomplished this, way to go."  Most keto dieters shift from strict keto to low carb once they reach goal weight.  I seem to have done the opposite, but not with maintenance in mind.  Well... what I'm going for is a leaner look, to shed the puffiness that comes from eating carbs.  

So while I've been at goal or lower for almost 2 years, I haven't changed my weight-loss mentality. I would like to change this outlook.  Part of that is focusing on the weight training more.  So for the remainder of this month, I want to focus on getting back on track with eating (emotional eating, etc.) and changing my mentality to maintenance.  Really, this is it.  So that when we start April, I will start keeping a diary about maintenance, not weight-loss. **this may end up being boring reading material for y'all but hang in there with me!

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/10/2019:
Friday night can be a time a lot of people slip up, so nice job on making Friday night a time for better decisions!

When i first reached "goal" for my sister's wedding, that Spring in April, i did gain easily before summer just under 5 lbs and i realized i was going to have to watch it. I have only had just under 5lbs or so a gain during maintenance of my weight. I know from past experience that it wouldn't be wise to try to maintain any lower a number..

i do not believe in a puffy look when eating carbs bc the only "lean and mean" look is less body fat, IMO.

nothing you write will bore me!!! :) i love to read what you write! :)

Donkey - Friday Mar 08, 2019
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.0

This has been a REALL. TOUGH. WEEK.  At least eating-wise.  I think "thinkpositive" said it best where it's been difficult to keep my eye on the prize.  I've had a couple of things really stress me out, and my response has been to eat.  The sugar-free chocolates are gone, and most of the keto chocolate cake is gone; the rest is in the freezer not to be touched AT ALL.  I still have a batch of fat bombs, but I didn't make those as sweet this time, so they don't really do it for me as far as binge-eating on sweets.

In a nutshell, these are the things that have really thrown me off the deep end this week:

  • Ultrasound
  • Boss / Queen Bee / work - huge drama yesterday
  • Ant infestation in the house
  • Son receiving notice of his re-enlistment date, will be leaving in 2 weeks
  • Impending GI scope
  • Damn winter weather will not go away (snowed this morning)

It's been a struggle all week, mostly eating 4+ sugar free chocolates.  However, last night, I just gave up; it was my son's news (which is a fantastic thing for him!).  Finished up the last 2 chocolates, had 3 fat bombs, and then a huge piece of keto chocolate cake.  

The bright side is that I had loads of energy this morning, and I did not eat breakfast until 10:30a.  But this is not good for me, nor is it the way I want to live.

Speaking of which, I've decided that I've been eating too many artificial sweeteners.  (This is NOT what has sent me off the deep end, as my weight loss was achieved using sweeteners.  That is 100% an emotional response.)  So I've stepped away from the protein bars I usually have for breakfast.  I'm trying not to drink water with added flavor packets, etc.  That's one reason why I packed away the keto cake in the freezer...  just need to do better, but it's hard. REALLY HARD.

Progress as of today: 54.5 lbs lost so far, only -4.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2019:
I think you decision below is wise to get off the aminos if they aren't do a good job. reason i like my "artificially flavored" no caffeine, no calorie Bang drinks is just for the flavors while i work out but not due to seeing any change in how they affect my muscle building.

once you start eating sweet things, you want more sweet things. so it's always good to pull back, yeah. i'm Queen of sweet things, i am sure you know! "stevia to the rescue!"

you can always freeze the fat bombs.

i totally relate to you that eating is used as a "bandaid" over the emotional situations. i do the same but work at it too. at least we know how to make healthier choices than we used to and binges are no longer as terrible in general. you've come a long way.

do you remember when you "decided" you were in Maintenance or when you reached the maintenance numbers on the scale?

Donkey on 03/09/2019:
I'm not sure I've decided that I'm on maintenance yet. I've been trying for lower numbers for so long, that I don't think I've made that change-over mentally. Part of the shifting from "weight loss" to "maintenance" is the weight training.

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2019:
try to realize it's not as hard as you are making it! you can give yourself some credit for all the maintenance you've done so far...weight will always go up but soon the weather will be conducive to being outside longer and not stuck at home as much :)

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