Donkey is home! We had originally planned to come home very early Monday morning (today), but since graduation plans had changed, we left on Sunday. Originally, we were going to have Saturday to hang around town & hotel with our son, and then hang around base on Sunday. Well, Saturday was changed to hanging around base, and nobody seemed to want to sightsee in Texas without our son on Sunday, so we just came home early. As it turned out, it was a full day traveling, and we were all very glad to be home.
Having arrived home on Sunday, I really debated about going into work today. My husband said, Don't tell anyone at work, if you decide to go in, so that you keep your options open as long as possible. Although I know I will probably regret the workload I'll be returning to on Tuesday, I decided to take today off: to get errands done, to get back into the swing of things in my routine, to spend time with my daughter and husband, and to regroup my emotions.... I really miss my son. And yet, this is an AMAZING opportunity for him - I am so proud of him for the way this experience has caused him to mature and come into his own. That's why I really hope he passes this push-up test, so that he can continue to grow and learn. I feel he can really thrive in the military, rather than float and flounder here without any direction.
I did not weigh in this morning - because why would I weigh in on a Monday?, but I tried on my wedding ring last night, which was very comfortable feeling, so I'm happy with that. I think I did very well on activity, very good with water intake, and good to so-so with food intake. Managed to stay "regular" during the trip - this is a HUGE issue with me when traveling. It was a good idea to take Fiber One bars and buy a bag of raw carrot sticks for munching. I probably could have made better use of eating raw vegetables, but my husband seemed OBSESSED with food during this vacation. Every thought was, when is our next meal? And he cannot walk much, so that definitely limited the amount of activity any of us could do. Still, I tried to move around as much as I could.
So today is laundry, activity, grocery shopping. Tomorrow will be work.
Speaking of work, I'm having a serious identity crisis here with work. More and more, this year especially, I'm feeling like, Why do I spend so much time with people that aren't nice to me, that I don't particularly like, doing stressful work for people who don't appreciate it? Work used to be my driving force, something I really looked forward to every day. Now I'm feeling like I'd much rather have time to spend with my family. My son has left... Soon my daughter will leave... My mom, brother et al., are in Vegas.... Why am I spending important time doing something else instead of being with the people who matter to me the most? (I mean, I know why -- because I need the money!)
Anyway, now I'm back. When my son does manage to graduate, I won't be attending the ceremony, since I already took time from work (there it is again - WORK), but my brother will probably go if he can, my mom will go if she's available, probably my daughter, if he graduates during spring break, and maybe my husband, but only if daughter goes because he cannot travel alone any more.
So now entering into a new season, my focus will be to find my Zen, to become stronger, both spiritually and physically. Spring will be a renewal of my life.
EVENING EDIT: I'm so glad I did not go to work today. I really needed the extra day to center myself emotionally. I think if I had tried to go to work, I would not have done a very good job. I was able to get all my tasks done and enjoyed a beautiful, but chilly, walk outside this afternoon.
The more I think about Spring coming tomorrow, the more eager I get to make significant changes in myself. When I was in Texas, I didn't see much big hair, but every lady there seemed to have her nails done and a *bling* *bling* on her finger. That's what I want for myself: lovely fingernails and a wedding ring (not much bling) that fits. Instead of the nailbiting, thick-fingered mess that I am, in reality...
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
So... my son did not pass the push-up portion of his test, which means he will not be graduating this weekend.
The good news is that we will be able to see him and visit him on base. And that is the important thing.
The bad news is that we won't get to see any of the graduating ceremonies and presentations, with him, and we can't take him off base to hang out with him or do tourist things with him.
And he still has to try to pass the test!
All of this we found out just as our plane was landing. Needless to say, this news brought us all way down in spirit and mood.
Caught myself making some not so good food choices, so tried to do better immediately. Water intake ok so far. Activity level ok - got up early to use the hotel gym.
So I'm waiting to hear from our son when we can meet up with him at the base, which will probably be this afternoon. In the meantime, my mom will be flying in...
Such big plans for the weekend and now they are for naught.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
i always find that doing lots of little sets of pushups with very little rest periods in betweeen helps me do more pushups.
what is the pushup requirement, by the way??? just curious...although i know you will not want to talk about it.
i can't believe you paid for a flight and did all that only to hear that kind of news. that is just wrong.
I responded to comments on last night's entry. Thank you for your helpful input!
Now I remember what my snarky co-worker said to me yesterday: he said I was walking so fast that I need to start running during my lunch hour. What? He obviously has issues.
So I weighed in this morning... I can really feel the few extra pounds: I feel bloated. So I will do my best to get through this trip as healthy as I can, and then buckle down when I get back. Like Horn, I've noticed that workouts seem to be more laborious, more of a struggle to get through. Not going as fast, not pushing as hard as I have in the past. So maybe this change of routine will be just what I need to get back on track when I return.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
yes, if he's commenting like crazy...he has issues (too!)
I'm getting rather nervous... I'm starting to think that I should probably weigh-in before we leave for Texas, so that I know exactly how much I gain while I'm gone. Maybe I will do that, but on the other hand, I'm afraid it will be self-defeating. If I've gained, there's nothing I can do about it now. We'll see how I feel in the morning. I do plan to stick to my routine of waking up, riding the bike, get dressed. The only difference is that I will have breakfast at home and then we leave for the airport instead of leaving for work alone.
So my co-worker was making snide remarks to me again about my lunch. Again I was eating leftovers, so I had a lot of leftover vegetables and a hot dog from a couple of nights ago. I forget what the comment was, but I was like, "Who said I would be taking questions and comments from the audience today?" Sheesh. I think Horn is correct in that there is some jealousy there... or maybe it's just office politics, since he hasn't been returning my "good morning" to me lately. Whatever - I do not have time for this pettiness any more.
My plan for vacation: make use of the fitness room, make use of the pool, walk as much as I can, take stairs, take my 24 ounce Blender Bottle for water and drink keep drinking. Order as many vegetables as I can at meals. If there is a Walmart nearby, stop in for baby carrots and apples. I'm also taking healthy snacks, sugar free gum, and sugar free candy, for the airport, to help.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
how long will you be in Texas?
you can even make a plan to be healthy overall there....
i've noticed that when coworkers / bosses don't say good morning, it's a "power thing" that they are choosing to think they have over you. i've been in the situation. right - it's politics as you say. it's petty. it's rude. it is not necessary for a boss to act that way to keep his power. it's wrong in my opinion...but many feel it is their right to do..don't worry about it.
people such as me and you that think about weight and food etc., we will always feel weird or feel something when people comment...if they comment they are just thinking about it too...so it should make you almost feel better to see you aren't the only one concerned about these issues....and to NOT take it personally....keep on your plan this time. just as i am...somehow, we have both decided it's not worth another struggle and battle of actually gaining the weight along with a loss of self confidence any more times. (i have lost weight 2x in my life and don't wish to ever have to do it all over again!). same for you...keep on....you've learned from the past people make comments and life is not everything you choose...just keep on.
For some reason, my weight seems to have become a talking point at work today... No reason, just out of the blue. Is it a full moon? It can't be, because the clients haven't gone crazy yet. Maybe it was something in the water, because the plumber WAS at the office today fixing the pipes...
So at lunchtime, I broke my rule and decided to eat with my officemates. This was the first mistake. I'm trying to eat leftovers for lunch so that we don't have much food left at home while we are in Texas. I brought a plate full of raw vegetables and half of a leftover reuben sandwhich from when my husband and I went out to dinner for his birthday. My co-worker goes, "Wow, I used to feel sorry for you for your lunches, but you're doing alright!" (meaning that the sandwich looked delicious, I guess -- which it was.) But he used to feel sorry for me - and you're watching what I eat? What?
Then later in the afternoon, I hear the two attorneys talking about our website. We need to take a new group photo because 3 of the people in the picture aren't with us any more. The one attorney says, "(Donkey) is twice the size she is now." What?
I know I'm being a little sensitive about all of this. I *AM* tougher than this. Friends, you know the struggle is REAL, and you know that I am struggling right now with the numbers. I'm sure that if I were in a stronger place mentally, I'd just brush these comments off like cat hair on a sweater.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
they probably all look they same as they had when the pic was first taken and you changed...this is why they complimented you in such a backhanded way....
you are doing great, don't change.
Getting up early was very difficult, but didn't want to spend time in bed, even if exercise wasn't the first thing on my agenda today. Mr. Donkey is crabby so I'd rather just stay out of his way. The reality that I will be traveling soon has hit me, and the dread of change in routine is starting to sink in. I see I will have to do some shopping today for warm weather clothes that fit me. So double whammy to deal with.
EARLY AFTERNOON EDIT: I meant to mention in my original post that I saw a Facebook post (friend of a friend) that he was fighting a case of the "late winter blues." So it's not just me. And I suspect that a few of us here might be dealing with that, too. Maybe with daylight savings, with more daylight, things will start to improve for me. Also, I'm curious to see if the warm weather in Texas will help perk things up for me. Illinois winters are not very motivating once the snow melts.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
Never been to Thailand, lol...
Surprise - I did not weigh in today! First time I missed a weigh-in Saturday in a long time. I weighed in on Thursday at 132.5, and the rest of the week wasn't so great food-wise. Life-wise, it was great, because Mr. Donkey and I went out for dinner on Friday to celebrate his 56th birthday. Ordered a salty dinner and ate more than I normally would. Had to have cake, right? ;-)
Then, today, my mom & her friend, my aunt & uncle, my daughter & I all met downtown in Chicago at the old Marshall Field's -- now Macy's -- and had lunch at the famous Walnut Room. There was not much to choose from that was "under 650" calories, so I went with what I liked instead. Daughter and I split a piece of the Frango Mint ice cream pie dessert. Did a lot of walking, too.
One thing that I've noticed this week and last is that my water consumption has gone down significantly. I was talking with the lady in our building who lost a bunch of weight through gastric by-pass surgery, and she was saying the same thing about her! I know that one of the keys to lower numbers on the scale is to drink more water -- which for me is 90 ounces and over. At one point I was drinking just under a gallon a day. Then I pulled way back and it's been a struggle to get in the "required" (by FitBit) 64 ounces. So not saying it's a cause-effect relationship, but there DEFINITELY is a correlation.
And there is more eating coming up this week too! We were very doubtful that our son would be able to pass the push-ups portion of his physical test, but it looks like he will be able to reach that goal by Wednesday, so we are indeed going to Texas, leaving Wednesday morning through Monday morning. The day we get back will be spent just trying to get back on track because we have to wake up very early to catch the 6:30a plane to Chicago. I hope that we can do a lot of walking because there is much to see in San Antonio, but Mr. Donkey doesn't walk very far with his issues. So we shall see.
Speaking of push-ups, I want to start doing those again. Long story short, I saw an acquaintance's picture she took with her family, and her arm... oh my... I'm sure it was the position, where it's flat instead of bent -- the stupid photographer should have caught that, but he's a guy and doesn't see things like that. Ugh, this is one of those "don't let this happen to you" and so I'm going to start working on my arms again. Maybe that will help jumpstart the numbers on the scale going in the right direction, too...
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
i do think pushups is a great idea...do you do the ones on your knees? or the full pushup? once you can do many, like 15?, on your knees, i think it's time to try to do some regular ones...
sounds like a nice night out with hubby...Once again you sound happier!
thank you for all thee great advice lately!
congrats to your son so far....keep us updated and keep cheering him on.
Finally MAKING time to write. My back seems to have improved enough to be called "normal" again. Wednesday morning was my last back spasm. When these spasms start, I have to be very careful and go into preventative mode so that nothing worse happens. I must remain healthy in order to take care of my husband. Thankfully, this time was very minor.
Decreased my exercise, but remained sufficiently active. Short frequent walks are the best thing for my back, really. So I thought I did very well this week and yesterday, so I thought I would weigh in ahead of schedule: GAINED 2 POUNDS.
I would really like to be back down to 128, and ideally 125. I don't think I can get there until the weather turns warmer and it gets easier to be active outside and eat lighter.
Went and bought new underwear because my old underwear was so stretched out and needed mending along the waistband (all pairs). So I went from a size L to a size M, and they are "tight". What I mean by "tight" (in quotes) is that they actually fit properly but because they aren't baggy, but are properly form fitting, they feel "tight".
I have this issue with my pants, too. Actually all of my clothes. I love wearing leggings and XXL (mens') t-shirts, so that my legs look skinny, and the rest of me looks undefined. That is my look, but it's not a very flattering look. I might look more slender if I had properly fitting clothes. But then they feel restrictive, and that makes me feel fat.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
I have the opposite problem in that the pants i just bought are suddenly too tight...so weird.
they fit well last Saturday and now i can hardly pull them on right!? Anyways, yeah, some people just like the loose clothes....
i think just wear what you are comfortable in!? unless you want to make a change.?
Hurt my back somehow... started having small muscles spasms this morning, and now my whole back is tight, in spite of taking 2 Aleve.
Got through the day, took a hot shower, and a muscle relaxer. Going to bed and lie flat.
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
This weekend has been kind of low-key because the balance in the checking account is low, so no spending errands for me this weekend. That's okay - and we'll be ok once my deposit clears on Monday.
I went for a walk yesterday afternoon, to check out if there are any houses in my neighborhood for sale. This will help drive up the property value (possibly) for my house if/when we sell -- now slated for probably next year, once we see what Daughter does with her next step in life. I was thinking of Maria7's post about springtime coming. Sure enough - saw 2 robins and trees with buds on them! The neighborhood I work in must have slow trees because they do not show much sign of budding anytime soon. But the trees out here are just waiting for a little more sunlight, a little warmer temperatures...
Felt I did well with eating and exercising. It was good to start walking outside again. And I'm SO proud of myself for not letting agorophobia get the better of me and keep me inside until May, which is how it has worked the past 2 years. I feel braver getting out there, and who cares what the neighbors think of me. (This has been a HUGE issue to overcome since 2009.) This morning, though, I am feeling a little stiffness or something in my back and right hip. Not sure if it was the walking or what.
No plans today again, other than to either walk outside or maybe pick up branches that have blown down in the backyard. Another "no spending" day, and I'm ok with that.
AFTERNOON EDIT: Perhaps I spoke too soon because we have snow forecasted as a possibility for Monday through Wednesday, with chances for rain increasing as we get towards Wednesday. Oh well, it's Chicago, where you're wearing your winter coat one day and shorts the next.
I tried the new exercise bike this afternoon, after programming everyone's profile into the console! Super proud of me for taking the initiative in this, as in the past, I would ask a million times for my husband to do this. See, I'm tech savvy 
Cons:
Pros:
Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!
I had agoraphobia in my teens and, though I don't have your direct experience of being you, I know some of how horrible and limiting it can be. More power to you!
We had snow here (London UK) until yesterday but Spring is finally springing... or at least it's stopped snowing
proud of you also for programming the bike :)
proud of you also for getting outside.
i have also started getting outside already to start the jog / walk program of mine up again.
keep active as you are. the purchase of the bike was def worthwhile.
i did the opposite of you - i realized i didn't own any black dress pants that fit and ended up going to a store for them...and picked up a few nice shirts to wear under cardigans, as well as a black blazer to go with the dress pants in case i ever need to wear a "full suit" for anything and it's in my size (hadn't had one full suit in my size since well over 10 years ago) and bought a jacket that was 50% off bc mine is a size too big and doesn't look nice on me so i switched this one for my old one which now needs to be hung up in the closet and not for wearing to work (it's so ugly) anymore. i spent $300 and somehow saved $200...most i spend on clothes at once in a VERY long time. Splurge, but some of it was needed - as i haven't, like i said, had my size dress pants that fit appropriately for a long time. now i do. and the blazer. a jacket that looks better (thought not that warm) and a few nice dress shirts. now i don't need to shop for another long time....and i hope also to have more weekends like you - going outdoors as long as the weather is working...and if it's not, to go to gym or use the stairs in my apt bldg for exercise!
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Good to have a day off...I agree...no need to tell work.
It was a wonderful day off!!!
Donkey on 03/19/2018:
PS Planning to weigh in tomorrow, for the first day of Spring!
happy-1 on 03/19/2018:
I read your posts and I get tempted to send care packages of junk food to "any soldier".
AMEN!
happy-1 on 03/19/2018:
I used to bite my nails... i managed to stop by keeping a nail buffer chamois and buffing paste (and towel) in the car with some band aids and antibiotic ointment. Really obsessively taking care of my nails and cuticles was the replacement fidget.
I'm 5'10 with size 13-14 feet and hands that can palm a basketball. Aka man hands. I feel you.
Keeping my nails done is the only way I can maintain any kind of length. Then something will happen in life, and I will chew them all off. *sigh* I need a Nailbiters Anonymous, I think.
One thing you said that's rather eye-opening was the word "fidget". Maybe that's what I need is a new "fidget" to replace nailbiting.
horn_of_plenty on 03/20/2018:
honestly, i think doing nails is a waste of cash, but it certainly does look really nice...so maybe don't listen to me! i just have problems sitting around getting them done so generally i don't... but yes you should def wear that wedding ring! they may have gotten their nails done for the occasion too, you know!
i wish your son luck as he continues...if he hasn't failed out now, he should continue and get stronger and he'll eventually pass the pushups...that's great! i'm glad he's persevering. remind him of this. not everyone may go straight thru but he will get stronger and will get easier and better at it. everything in life takes work!
have a good day and keep on going :) the nicer weather, aside from a potential snow day tomorrow, will be helping us both. i look forward to longer days now and continuing my cardio training outdoors. I'm beginning to think i should just run around the community during the week...which is what i'll do....and reserve parks for days off & weekends. i need to simplify my training and make it as easy as possible so it gets done more often.
Oh I should clarify: my plan is to grow my own nails and keep them trimmed, filed, and painted. So it will not be very expensive. I guess my nails will be "athletic" length, meaning rather short, but at least they won't be chewed up/off!
I'm too chicken to get nail tips or acrylics: they have a lot of bad chemicals and can really damage one's nail bed. I don't need that.
Maria7 on 03/20/2018:
Happy Spring. Hope you are having a good day.
happy-1 on 03/20/2018:
Maybe keep a nail file and nail clipper in your purse wit hsome chapstick? My trigger was that if one of my nails felt rough or there was a hangnail I'd bite and then I'd chomp them all to shreds. Chapstick on your cuticles could be your new fidget.