I could not believe the scale this morning. I felt so bloated and gross. No apparent reason for that -- in fact, I was feeling "munchy" last night and resisted because I knew weigh-in was this morning. So I can't blame late-night eating for feeling full this morning!
My last court appearance is this Friday. Ugh, what a day. I have to go to court and then I have 2 weddings to hostess, and the first one is a HUGE Filipino wedding. (I hear the mom on that one is very high maintenance.)
Instead of dreading this upcoming unpleasantness, I am actually catching myself being THANKFUL that it approaches. I wake up and think, "Yes, I am one day closer" and I settle down for the evening and think, "Yes, I made it through the day."
Today is the day that we hear back from the lawyer to see if our house-selling contract has been agreed upon. We have not heard anything about the results of the home inspection, so they are not asking us to fix anything (or pay to fix anything) before closing. So if we are going to hear any demands, they need to come today. We should also learn very soon when our closing date is.
We had to borrow money from my FIL to make it this month though.
Progress as of today: 20 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
Thank you to everyone who replied to my last entry. Not only did it feel really good to just summarize and unload the ordeal we've had with that house, but your encouragement and sympathy has given me new strength to continue forward.
I don't want to appear to be something I am not, so I do want you to know that these problems with the house -- and the subsequent fall-out with my personal life -- DID cause me to regain weight. Quite a bit of it in fact. But in retrospect, perhaps this was a "necessary evil" to help me learn how to separate "weight" from "life".
I no longer see my weight as a reflection of my day or my self-esteem or my self-worth. Now, it truly is "just a number". So why am I here? Because I do acknowledge that I'm still carying around extra weight. My body will figure out where it wants to be, so long as I keep up with healthy, moderate habits that I can sustain in my lifetime.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, I realized today that I have ONE WEEK to reach my weight loss goal for September. And I'm pretty sure I can do it. My goal - as I recall - was to get out of the 150's, and I am very close. It's just as well that I did not put forth 100% last week so that I could be even more motivated to push forward this week.
So here's hoping for a great week!
Progress as of today: 17.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!
Another half-pound gone, and I know that if I had put forth more effort and focused on my goal, it would have been more. This is good because I know I have the power to change my situation, at least in the diet world, LOL!
Stress, poor weather and busy-ness are the reasons for a less than stellar perforance. But this week is going to be different!
One thing that has changed is that I believe we have finally sold our Old House. This is the house that we lived in (and own) before we moved (and bought) the house we live in now. It has been a tremendous burden on our shoulders, to have this extra house.
I don't know, do you want to hear the gritty details? How we rented to someone we knew and she stiffed us 2+ months' rent and we had to take her to court to get her evicted? Or how we rented at a rock-bottom place to another lady we knew whose husband up and left her with 4 kids (one disabled with CP) after some 20 years of marriage? She got the rent at a horrendously cheap price, but she had the $$ up front. When she left, the house had definitely suffered some wear and tear. Four kids will do that, you know.
Do you want to hear how we tried to rent it out (after the 2nd lady moved out) but couldn't find anyone to rent it that would send back the application? How desperate people were to find decent housing that was also affordable?
Do you want to hear about the many many years and many many real estate agents we've had, trying to unload this house? Do you want to hear about how we sold it a couple of years back, before my life fell to ****, and the deal fell through? And that whole series of events led to what happened to me in my own life?
So you can see why I am not exactly jumping up for joy and celebrating -- although tequila sounds really good right about now. Maybe you can also understand why I am and will remain skeptical of this deal until we finally close.
But I have to say, it's a Godsend that we found a buyer when we did, because my family is on the Titanic of financial ships and things would be getting really really hard really really fast. (For example, we have $35 to live on until my husband gets paid next week and none of the bills, except for the mortgage have been paid.)
And we are all very ready to put this chapter of our lives (dh, me, the kids, heck probably even the cats) behind us.
Progress as of today: 17.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!
I will cross my fingers that everyone works out right with the prospective buyer. i cannot even imagine having to own TWO homes .... can't even imagine managing one.
After gaining a little weight -- and then getting back on track! -- I lost a little bit more (0.5) and weighed 151.0 this morning. Yay!
Life seems to be getting busier by the day. Not only is school (mine) kicking into high gear but the Wedding Hostess ministry that I help coordinate at my church is starting its new round of volunteers. 9 of them have email and 6 of them do not.
So I emailed the 9 with training dates and nobody has responded yet. I'm kind of wondering what's going on. I'll need to start making phone calls soon, for those who do not respond and for those who did not list an email.
But just about every Saturday in October, I'm busy with a wedding. It would be nice if I could fit into my Wedding Hostess dress by October.
Progress as of today: 17 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!
Yep, I gained a pound, but I am not at all discouraged. In fact, I am almost glad that I gave myself a week to slack off a bit and indulge my hormones --- and stress eating tendancies too, I'm afraid :-( THAT I'm not too happy about but oh well.
My downfall this week was clearly the overindulgence of cheese baked crackers. Definitely comfort food, but not binge eating by any means. Just overdid it.
Plus it is TOM soon, so I can really feel the bloat. It may be more psychological than anything -- can you feel 2 lbs? -- but I am ready to make better choices for myself this week.
Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!
Anticipating a TERRIBLE weigh-in this week. TOM must be coming soon because I have been really irritated by my husband's lack of anything other than sitting in front of his computer. And then today, I am feeling despair and sadness. So this sounds cyclical, and i know that if I can just hang in there, it will pass...
Unfortunately, I have been indulging in crackers quite a bit this week. That plus any water weight from the salt and carbs or water weight from PMS/TOM -- none of this bodes well.
Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!
Up half a pound, but I attribute that to PMS and humidity. Keeping a clear perspective on things, a half a pound is really not a change and just a fact of maintenance.
I am not maintaining at the moment -- still trying to lose the weight I gained over the winter -- but I'm taking a maintenance approach to weight loss this time. If it's something I can't really do for the rest of my life, I won't use it to lose weight, because I am tired of gaining 20-30lb every time life deals me something bad, because bad things are going to happen; it's part of life.
Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!
I thought this deserved its own post:
I am at the halfway mark to goal!!!
Actually, I'm a little past it, by 1/4 a pound, but in essence it's halfway...
Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!
I'll look out for the 80% bar you mentioned--hope you're having a good week!
As promised, I am entering in my weigh-in. Having an upset stomach from anxiety really helps with weight loss. Too bad it feels so awful.
The lesson to be learned is that it really is about what goes into your mouth. With only 254 cardio minutes this week, I think this proves my point. (Took a day off from walking one day.)
I decided yesterday to start taking an acid blocker for my stomach problems. It says to take before eating, though, so I waited until this morning to start. The box says may take 1-4 days but some people feel relief within 24 hours. I predict that I will feel better tomorrow.
I was feeling better last night, actually. Psychologically, I'm sure -- once I knew the problem would be taken care of, I relaxed enough. But this morning it's all started again. I don't know if it's because I know most of the day will be spent reading and studying for my classes or if it's because the kids are starting their first days of school and that I'm nervous FOR/WITH them, or what.
Normally, I would think about taking an anti-anxiety medicine, but mostly, these are tranquilizers and even with the slightest dosage, I get sleepy. (I used to take anti anxiety meds and anti depressants when I was in my 20s. Neither helped with my problems, which is why I don't take them today.)
So for now, I will see if the anti-acids help. Have a wonderful day everyone!
Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!
I am sorry I have not been on here this recently. School has started for me this week and it has been extremely stressful.
On the plus side (if you can call it that), all that stress has made me sick to my stomach. My stomach produces too much acid when I get really anxious, and all that acid makes me feel very nauseous. So I have not been stress eating, at least.
In addition to all of this stress, my children are starting school tomorrow (Wednesday). This is always stressful, especially for my son, I think, but maybe for my daughter too. I think this year may be the hardest yet for my daughter. I have heard that the 5th grade (10 yr old) is BIG on the **drama** for girls. Her class seems to be ripe for the picking for dramatic candidates.
Tomorrow is weigh-in day, so I promise to log in with that, at least. That's the good thing about having a dedicated weigh-in day --- keeps me honest!
Anyway, I have been trying to drop in and read people's diaries but I don't always have time to log in and reply. Having been a SAHM for many years and not out and about with a lot of people, it's been really really REALLY hard to get back into a thinking mode, a social mode, a deadline mode -- everything.
I hope to buy some anti-acids tonight.
Progress as of today: 14 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!
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sending lots of love and peace your way!
just42day on 09/29/2010:
You have a great attitude and I know that will continue to serve you well. I hope you hear nothing but great news re: the closing. Family is there to support us in good times and in bad. I'm glad yours has been there for you.
KathyBlue on 09/29/2010:
WOW, great loss Donkey! :) I'm happy for you! :D I hope your see the house-contract issue closed for good very soon!
moogy on 09/29/2010:
You have done so well donkey, congrats on the weight loss, that's great, I am really pleased for you. It sounds like you have a nightmare of a week ahead. I hope everything works out the way you want it to and that at the end of it all you can let out a hug big sigh of relief!! Chin up. You are doing great!!
V on 09/29/2010:
Alright girl ! Congrats on your loss! And I am sure you will breathe a huge sigh of relief when this is all over :)