Weighed in today after a couple of days (?) of not weighing in. I thought it would be prudent because TOM is starting and I wanted to have an accurate number to program into the cardio machines at the gym, for my weight, for an accurate "calories burned" read-out.
The irony is that those cardio machines are way off on how many calories you burn. The bike doesn't even ask me for my weight, so I assume that the "calories burned" are for the average 150lb person. And the elliptical totally overestimates the read-out.
But I seem to be staying within maintenance range reasonably well. I have been binge-free all week. And I was free last week with the exception of an emotional eating day I had that was directly related to a specific, stressful event (an appointment). So while eating wasn't the BEST way to deal with the need for comfort, I think it was understandable and even within normal parameters of total calories for the day (around 3500 in total that day, I think? that would make the binge around 2000 calories).
Another positive thing about last week's binge -- and I just realized this -- was that I binged in anticipation of the event, NOT in reaction to the meeting. So once I tackled the task, I was able to resume normalcy. It was the anxiety of the unknown that frightened me.
I have to think that there is a better way to deal with this "anticipation anxiety" than eating. I just have to know what it is, learn how to do it, and then do it. So there is HOPE.
I have HOPE!!!!!
Progress as of today: 12.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!
I feel like I'm falling apart today. I am not falling apart. I will NOT fall apart. But I FEEL like I'm falling apart.
Where's a flying bullet when you need it?...
Progress as of today: 10.5 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!
Don't fall apart sister! Close your eyes, smell the bread and have a virtual Jimmy Johns with me.....mmmmmmm Mayo
((((HUGS)))))
I've had to weigh myself EVERY DAY, doctors orders, and I HATE HATE HATE it. So, if I didn't have to,I would LOVE to not step on the scale except once per week.
Hang in there me dear....hang in there!
Whatever you are going thru, I hope you get thru it. Hang in there!
I really need to stop weighing myself every day. I know this is where I'm supposed to be at, but the number is so disappointing because it doesn't tell the whole story. My arms are quite defined now and my legs are way less flabby and hard to the touch. (Yes, I guess I feel up my own legs, but I'm not a perv, I promise you!)
I do not have much new to report. I'm just trying to get through the remainder of the weekend. Blasted holiday tomorrow in the U.S. (stupid Presidents' Day -- no mail, no school, no nothing), so I'm going to have the kids make ice cream. They've made it before (a Christmas gift, thanks to Husband's obnoxious aunt and filthy rich husband), and it hasn't been a binge trigger.
But now I'm not so sure. I'm feeling so depressed tonight. I was feeling stronger and happier yesterday. Today has been a steady and rapidly increasing decline in mood. I'm glad that there will be a new episode of Desperate Housewives to escape into.
Since the kids are home from school tomorrow, I will be going to the gym early. My knee and foot are feeling considerably better. They still hurt, though; I'm still taking medication; I still have to wear my gym shoes all the time. But yesterday was the first time that I actually noticed feeling better.
For Valentine's Day, I insisted that my family go to our favorite family restaurant. I got a "French Dip" sandwich, which is very salty, but the scale was down this morning, so I am glad for that. This eating more approach really seems to be working better for me.
I'm crawling out of the hole, slowly. It's scary how easy it is to fall back into step with old demons. I'd still do just about anything to be down to 116 like I was over the summer. I looked GOOD. I felt light.
Progress as of today: 9.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
good job sticking to your plan and NOT getting nutty about the weight end of it. you're doing good, put the scale in a closet or something!
To your comment, I guess my point was that I never weighed myself when I was 13. I could have weighed 110 or even 105--it wasn't an issue. I first remember weighing MYSELF when I was a Sr in HS.
Part of my point (I guess) was that I "just don't get it."
Actually, I don't long to be a 13y/o again, nor to weigh 120--not a realistic weight for me:-) It was an observation prompted by haha_love2laugh, who is 13.
Have a good one!
Have a good day with your kids......Take a deep breath and think about one positive thing today that may bring a smile to your face.....
I have no idea what I weigh today....
Today was another anxiety-filled day. I have been eating more than usual but no bingeing. For example, my breakfast was my usual oatmeal and coffee, but then I also had a yogurt and a cup of fruit.
Now I am hungry/binge-y but I had a cup of fruit and a chunk of broccoli to hold me until dinner. So it's been good, healthy food. Just too much of it.
I was wondering this afternoon "Why am I so hungry?" I think it's because I lifted (weight trained) heavy today. I upped my weights on just about every exercise. And even though that doesn't burn a lot of calories, I think it must do something to my appetite. I'm going to be OK though. It'll just be one of those Hungry Days that I have from time to time.
I don't know if I mentioned this here or not, but I did find a new therapist. I start with him in a week and a half. And this time I will talk about my eating issues, in addition to my post-traumatic stress, depression and anxiety, because I want to deal with all of this. No sense in treating one thing, if the other things aren't getting addressed.
A special note to borntocry: I miss you! I'm so glad you dropped by. I hope you are doing ok with the new job (which is old by now) and your husband and your family. Take care and know that I think of you often!
Progress as of today: 8.5 lbs lost so far, only 5.5 lbs to go!
Wishing you a great night!
...one day i'll have to try this whole therapy thing out!
Good Evenin!
I had the best binge yesterday. I knew it was coming. I had better (but not perfect) food prepared for it. It went so well, I was almost happy about it, except that it was indeed a binge.
(((If reading about foods binged on is a TRIGGER for you, stop reading now and just know that Donkey is OK.)))
I had an appointment in the afternoon that I was dreading. After lunch is when the binge started. I had made some crustless pumpkin pie sh** that isn't so damaging if made with Splenda, but when I make it with Splenda, it has a funny aftertaste --- which I now believe is actually due to the quality of the pumpkin pie spice I'm using and NOT the Splenda.
So I had made it with sugar, which of course adds the calories on like you wouldn't believe. So I finished the pie, which was like 6 pieces. Then I had a cup of chocolate chips. I had a block of mozzarella cheese too, which was probably around 4-6 oz.
I ate this in the course of an hour (or less).
Afterwards, I was full, but not sick. I didn't even have a sugar buzz. I was not physically uncomfortable either. I went to the appointment and came home and had a light supper (salad, and then pudding later on for dessert).
When I got dressed for bed, I was looking at my body and I was actually PLEASED. I didn't feel or look bloated at all. I felt that I looked muscular. Weight trainers load up on carbs right before a competition to fill out the body to make the muscle definition show better. I wonder if that's what happened here.
I had problems sleeping but not due to the binge. I weighed in this morning and lost weight from the morning before.
So what I learned from this is:
1. I need to eat a larger lunch and make my dinners lighter.
2. If I anticipate a binge, it would be wise to have something "prepared" that has some nutritional value and or compensation for calories (i.e. a lower calorie alternative).
It was a very strange day indeed.
Progress as of today: 8.5 lbs lost so far, only 5.5 lbs to go!
Have a terrific Wednesday & Thanks for being here!
i agree...that when a person is in the mood to eat GOOD food...bingy food...to plan it out somewhat.
i hope that you are good today! :)
It's better than eating huge amounts every single day, which is what I've been doing for the past year or so...
I hate it..
the Cubs logo would be great!.. a picture of his dog is just too much
My weight is UP!!!! 135.0!!!! This is just driving me nuts. I'm tired of being in the 130s. I'm tired of having a big butt. I'm tired of having thick thighs. I hate this.
But on the happy side, I felt well enough to do the elliptical today. I tried both the Precor and the Life Fitness (with the moving handlebars), and in spite of loving the LF model better -- it's just more fun -- I will be doing the Precor, because of the position of my foot on the pedal. My foot does not lift nor flex on the Precor (it's more straight across), whereas, on the other ellipticals, I lift my heels up, which flexes my arch, which is where my foot is sore.
I think I'm going to change up my cardio routine. I actually appreciate riding the recumbent bike now. So I think I will do 30 min on the bike and 30 on the elliptical. A nice mix and keeps me limited to an hour of cardio.
Progress as of today: 9 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!
So, I have been outside raking leaves, weeds, cutting back peonies & roses, sweeping the front porch trying to get in the "right" frame of mind & NOT back to "who cares?"..... I have 10 months to reach this goal and by grab I'm going to keep telling myself yes/no at the RIGHT times.....
Good day..... I'll trade ya butt & thighs :O)
Memo to Donkey:
STOP WEIGHING YOURSELF EVERY DAY.
IT WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY.
SINCERELY YOURS,
DONKEY
Thanks, thinnside40, for suggesting I get Husband to put away the scale. I had forgotten about Maria having to go weigh herself at the supermarket. Ha ha, that brought a huge smile to my face. I could totally see myself doing something like that. :-)
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
i am glad to see you on here. :)
Here we go again... Up, down, up, down. I shouldn't weigh myself every day. I don't know why this started up again.
This isn't a REAL loss. Just one of those odd fluctuations, I'm sure of it.
Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
Have a good evening.....
OK, well, at least I was at 134.0 again this morning. But why am I weighing myself every morning?? No weigh-in tomorrow.
Maybe it's the change in the exercise routine that has me paranoid. Must learn to *breathe deep* and *let go*... No weigh-in tomorrow.
I had not planned on writing tonight but I am feeling depressed. I am going to start seeing a new therapist. The old therapist and I had a conflict of morals. I was going to see him again, but Husband said, "No way, he's a JERK!" and put his foot down. And I don't object, because I know he's right and he's only looking out for me, even though it saddens me that I failed myself with yet another therapist. Am I really that unrepairable?
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Hang in there with the therapist situation(s).... Sometimes I think those type of things area bout like buying a "sued car"... Have to go through some lemons to reach a dependable...... Feel your self-worth my firend, cause you are worth the effort you put into bettering your physical & mental health, but within reason of course (hint hint)...
Not to sound corny or anything Donk, but everyone (or most I should say) here @ DD has a piece of my heart and I say "I love you" just as you are.... I'm far from perfect and have a long ways to go, but I think it is important for us to spread what love or positive vibes each other's way in each of our struggles, no matter what that may be.....
Have a good evening and I'm thankful for you hubby stepping foot down to protect you!
OK, bear with me. Donkey is having a VERY BAD DAY.
First -- WTF with the weight? Up, down, up, down, up, down. I'm so sick of it. Just read 120 and be done with it.
Second -- I went to the doctor. I told both the nurse and the doctor that I was a compulsive exerciser. They didn't seem too concerned about that. So I guess it must be OK.
I injured the bottom of my foot which has compromised my gait, which in turn injured my knee. The good news is that the doctor could feel no structural damage to the knee. No misalignment either. The BAD news is that I can't use the elliptical for at least a week. Maybe longer. I can use the bike, which not only puts my butt to sleep but doesn't do anything for me. He said it would help me from "losing your edge". So at least he empathizes.
I'm to wear running shoes at all times, from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed. No barefoot, no flats, no slippers, no heals. He gave me some honkin' horse pills that don't DO anything. If I feel better after my prescription is out, then I'm set. If I don't, then we're talking either cortizone shots in the foot (OUCH!) or a referral to the orthopedic doctor.
Needless to say, Donkey is very displeased with ALL OF THIS. If you're going to give me a pain pill, make sure it DOES something. I don't think it's too much to ask to be able to exercise. I'm p*ssed but I'll get over it.
I just wanted to get this off my chest before I try to stuff it down with food.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Thanks for stopping by & for the "cheer"... Appreciated very much!
As always, make sure your running shoes are fresh--pain somewhere is usually my first clue that I need new ones.
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Have a wonderful day!!
haha_love2laugh on 02/21/2009:
You binged last week and still lost weight, thats good, plain and simple. KEEP IT UP!!!
thinnside40 on 02/21/2009:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Read, crochet, deep clean (like spring clean), re-organize something, sing, I don't know...... I have to work on knowing what to do come a couple weeks from now & I start (hoping not to though) going through the "monthly munchies" course.....Anticipation, not reaction.... Never thought that deeply about that too much.... Thought to ponder!
have a good day!
Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/22/2009:
i would say at least 70% of my binging is pre-event, anxiety related. i binge before studying/tests and the like. the majority is definitely before.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/22/2009:
have a GREAT week! :)