As I mentioned in my last entry, these problems at work are just the kick in the butt I needed to get where I wanted to be. I didn't realize how toxic eating lunch with these people every day was to not only diet and exercise but also to my mental well-being. I think we're all happier this way. Or maybe I'm becoming the square peg in a round hole... Not sure, but not taking the chance of creating more mess, so I'm sticking to keeping my distance and just doing my job.
So my weigh-in this week is a combination of being too upset to eat lunch a couple of days, being sick and not eating as much, and additional walking time at lunch. I predict that once I get over this cold/sinus infection, the weight will come back on... Not sure where I want to go with this.
I had a client accuse me of ruining her entire holiday yesterday. How do you think that makes me feel? We're in the middle of home inspection negotiations, and the buyers have asked to have an exterminator come out and address the evidence of rodents. Unfortunately, the letter came late in the day, but I forwarded it to her anyway, because we need to move forward, and she had been asking for updates on her file. Then she emails me back saying how upset she is with me because I sent this to her on a holiday weekend when nothing can be done. Which is not entirely true, because she can think about it, and businesses that are open on Saturday will still be open on Saturday. So she can probably call Orkin.
I responded, "If it's any consolation, I will spend my whole holiday weekend worrying about your transaction."
My husband continues to heal and improve from his double hip replacement surgery. My mom texted me yesterday to say that she thinks my step-father is now slipping towards his end.
Our houseguest has arrived for the holiday. We all came to a compromised and moved the futon out of the basement and into a spare bedroom (that had been holding our packing boxes). So I can still exercise in the basement early in the morning, and the guest and my daughter are on the same floor.
Today the family (& houseguest) are going to see the new Star Wars movie. Then we will meet up with my sister and her husband (from California) for dinner. Trying to focus on spending time with people rather than gifts this year.
Progress as of today: 62.5 lbs lost so far, only -12.5 lbs to go!
So spitting MAD about the people I work with...
YESTERDAY they all ganged up on me and complained to the boss that I was being too mean. Too mean... this from someone who makes 10 mistakes on EVERY file she opens up. This from someone who hides files in her office, so that when a client calls and yells at ME, I don't have answers, but she sure does. This from someone who jumped down my throat and said that I was causing her hives, just because I mentioned that the seller hadn't signed the contract. Okay, yep it's all my fault.
So when my boss sat me down to talk to me about this, I told him that I didn't appreciate all of my co-workers stabbing me in the back like that, and that this isn't all on me. Yet the boss says that I need to make it work. What???
So TODAY even though I am SICK and coughing and feverish, I went to work, because I told my boss that I think that I am acting in and protecting my best interests by coming to work so that people can't talk about me behind my back!
I ended up leaving work early today... and I think I just might come in late tomorrow. But I'll be damned if I'm eating lunch with any of these backstabbers again. I'm very particular about who I eat lunch with, and now that I know I can't trust any of them, I'll just leave them to their own nastiness, because sooner or later, they will start turning on each other. (In fact, they already do, except for our Queen Bee with the hives, who can do whatever she wants and not get in trouble...)
On the bright side, this is the kick in the butt that I needed. I can eat at my desk from now on, while I work, so I will spend my lunch hours walking.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
Some people just always get their way. They can be loud and backstab and nobody cares not even the boss. But don't fret and I know you are sick but try to take it less personally and more thinking it's just her personality - the backstabbeR. Do your work and try not to work extra and maybe double up on vitamin C and zinc which is what I will try tonight along with daytime cold medicine - I already had nighttime medicine at home - going to the pharmacy in my car Once I get home to pick up my regular unrelated Rx and cold medicine too :) I forgot what being sick feels like - the aches and pains - no exercise for me right now - was gonna go tomorrow but I may still be sick and it just makes me more sick whenever I try to exercise on low energy while sick :/ I am thinking you feel that way too..I hope not to be sick all winter . And wish the same for you!
I wanted to comment on a couple of comments or conversations that came up here on Diet Diaries that I've found helpful to me:
"How do I keep getting older and never get any smarter?" - This is the story of my life. It's like I'm trying to learn the same lessons over and over again -- losing weight, contentment with my body, happy with who I am and where I'm at , not saying really offensive things that get me into serious trouble -- and I mean serious. I guess I have to repeat until I actually change, but sometimes it's hard to change who you are -- or should I say, what I've become. It really bothers me when I say things that are really offensive. It's like, "Will I EVER learn? Just SHUT UP already!"
"Never get too far into your own head" - This is something I really need to watch. I know I overthink things, which sometimes can be a GOOD thing, like at work, to think things through, but sometimes it ends up being self-defeating by clogging the thought-processes towards a successful outcome. Again, I don't know if this is something I can change about myself. It would help, though, if I would relax more rather than reacting (too) quickly.
This week ahead: our houseguest arrives on Thursday, which will throw off my routine for 2 whole weeks. I haven't worked out the details yet, but my exercise routine is sure to be challenged.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
Pleased - and relieved - with my weigh-in. Wasn't too sure because it's been quite a week:
So if you haven't noticed, I tend to eat a lot of salt. I've given up many vices (sugar, alcohol, carbs), so salt remains probably the last of the vices to tackle, which leads me to my next subject...
Starting to gravitate towards new goals for 2018. I didn't think I'd have any, to be honest.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
In my quest for peace & reconciliation with the whole body/weight thing, it occurred to me this morning: what is weight exactly?
So I weighed in higher this week. Is that accurate? For example, when I came back from Thanksgiving with my family, I had gained 6 pounds. At next week's weigh-in, I had lost the 6 pounds. Is that possible that I lost that much substance (mass)?
If I drink 64 ounces of water and weigh myself, and the number is higher, have I really gained that weight? or is it just a temporary flux?
I'm not sure where I'm going with this right now... Maybe I need to weigh less often? (Might be easier said than done, LOL...)
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
Bright & Balmy ourtakeonadark&stormy •mezcal• aperol• grapefruit•gingerbeer
It was one of their mixed cocktails. It wasn't sweet, not too sweet, thankfully. But it wasn't tasty really. however, not being sweet is a good thing...i didn't drink it up fast ;)
but it wasn't too good....prob better off ordering beer...lower cal also probably than these mixed drinks...?
weigh less if you think it's not worth it to weigh frequently due to fluctuations. i weigh no more than 1x a week (usually). now that i wrote it, i'll probably weigh myself everyday this week! lol. i will also comment on the below entry of yours later :)
you look GREAT. i hope you don't want to now give up and gain the weight back.
you can still relax and celebrate with food...i do too!
but i'm tell you - all the veggies and the changes you made in your life look good on you. i don't see a reason to quit.
you can enjoy and relax on christmas, it's one day, but then you have to work on going back :)
the more weight training i do, the more i can also eat.
STAY HAPPY.
This is a reminder to myself as well :)
i've begun to realize that if i'm giving lots of commitments for my industry like a union meeting tonight, that i can also plan for myself commitments that i want (like signing up for the auxiliary police) on Thursday night...i am not giving up on my own happiness...i will continue to make my own unique life as long as i possibly can!
so don't forget yourself in all the mishmash...always remember that YOU ARE WORTH IT.
do not give up and stop maintaining your weight...keep on...do not dial back to what you were before, KEEP ON.
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!
Gained a pound but still under 130 and way below goal so I'm fine with it.
I came to the realization yesterday that, even though I did meet my weight loss goal (and surpassed it a little), that the REAL problem is that I'm just not happy with my actual body. Unfortunately, that's NOT something that can change. I know weight training can change some proportions, but not in the way I want to look.
So here I am again, at 47, still struggling with being comfortable in my own skin.
In addition, I was watching some "Christmas in Switzerland" TV special this morning, and it made me realize that the way I eat -- lots of vegetables, minimal sugar, cutting carbs -- that really cuts into being able to relax and celebrate with food. And while vegetables are great and probably the way we should all eat more of, is that a realistic way to eat on a long-term basis?
I've lost the same 50 pounds at least 3 times, this is either the 3rd or 4th time. This time, I wanted it to be something that was sustainable and maintainable, realistic not sadistic, and for the most part, I've done that - although I admit that sometimes I feel like a slave to my Fitbit -- but here I am again.
Someone knock some sense into me - please!
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
Can't really read or study for it -- weight loss is all action in order to see results. And my body just wasn't made for that, it seems. (Ask my feet, knees, hips, and back...)
Coming here to unload... I swear I thought I was gonna lose it today -- just at the end of my rope. Too busy and too tired and too stressed.
Truth be told, what caused me the most strife was the ice cream dessert I had last night. Paid for all that sugar big time today.... Tried to do better today, will do even BETTER tomorrow.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
Sounds like your boss likes you – to be able to tell (him?) about your garage cleanup endeavor! It looked good in your fb pics, like a new garage! I bet you wish you had it this way from the start! Clutter is hard to get rid of, I bet you thought you wanted those things from the garage that you didn’t get rid of till now!?
When you feel like you felt in the first paragraph, you must try to find some time to relax for yourself. Easier said than done, maybe, but it’s important for your health mentally and physically. I was feeling that way last week when all of a sudden I was working OT everyday again.
Yes, sometimes when I eat high calories or fat or sugar, the body continues to crave it into the next day…And its usually better to gradually get back to where you were before the sugar, which it sounds like you are doing. Don’t regret it too much – I see you are getting back. KEEP ON!
Quite pleased with today's weigh-in. After a couple of crazy weeks, things are becoming "regular" and returning to normal (sort of). My activity level dropped off a bit, but food intake was less due to the craziness and stress.
My husband's rehab at home is going to be more difficult than I had thought. He's not the best patient, and I have my own health problems lately. The nurse and the PT came to our house today, and I would agree with them that my husband is doing remarkably well.
This weekend is the last weekend of pleasant weather for our area, so I'm going to get out there and do some stuff in the garage in hopes that we can park all the cars in the garage this year.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
I am so happy to hear that everyone will be parking their cars inside and out of the path of mother nature! That's cool - i am so thankful for my own garage for those snowy days it's one less thing for you to have to deal with.
It was a really nice weekend, indeed.
Not a weigh-in day, but I thought I'd check in as I wait for the minutes to tick by before leaving for the hospital. Husband is having double hip surgery today. TODAY. TODAY!!!
I didn't think I was very anxious about this until it hit me Sunday night. Then I realized, yes, I am kind of worried about this. I have no reason to think anything will go wrong, of course. Excellent surgeon. Hopefully the hospital will deliver good care -- I've heard things over the years, but perhaps things have changed. There are other hospitals I prefer, but the surgeon prefers this hospital. I hope he can come home tomorrow.
I feel that I am back on track, eating and exercising. I try really hard to take an evening walk around the neighborhood after dinner (around 30 minutes). I find it helpful for digestion, especially when one has overindulged with second helpings of chili (ooops).
Trying to keep everything together as I get over these hurdles one step at a time...
UPDATE: Mr. Donkey had a successful surgery, and I will visit him this evening. I'm anxious to see him but did not want to see him come out of anethesia, so I came home to get things in order at home (for the kids) and then I will go back to visit for a couple of hours tonight. I'm very grateful and relieved.
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
Good luck to your hubby....best wishes to you both.
You sound good!
(I commented on comments in yesterday's entry. Thank you!)
My husband made a very helpful observation this morning. When I mentioned the 4-pound gain, he said, "If you had been able to workout like you do, you wouldn't have had a problem." I thought about that, and he's right!
It's hard to step out of my comfort zone, but had I made it a point to be more active (e.g. walk around the block every hour or so) or use the elliptical crosstrainer, if I had stayed in a hotel, I'm *SURE* that things would have been different.
That got me thinking about things I could have done differently. I could have asked my mom to get me raw vegetables ahead of time. OR I could have gotten my own raw vegetables when she and I went to the grocery store on Tuesday, even.
So I'm more in control of my destiny than I am admitting to myself.
Side notes: I'm afraid kitty isn't long for the world. She is having problems with eating & drinking now. So we are all doing our best to make sure she is as comfortable as possible. Also, while I was in Vegas, found out that my husband needs a walker with front wheels (ONLY) for after surgery. Oh my... I'm so grateful that I found a nice lady on Facebook that was giving one away -- for FREE. What a relief!
Progress as of today: 52.5 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!
Do not regret or wish you had done anything different, because, you are back here now. Now is time to make all the opportunistic and positive choices that you can or want to.
Also, you've learned from this Vegas vacation - and perhaps on next vacation you'll plan to have more veggies somehow - like by shopping one time when you go there.
Either way, that vacation has passed, and once again I mean it when i say you looked beautiful with glowing skin in your pictures. Just Beautiful. So, focus on the "NOW" and your goals now, and let the vacation rest :)
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I will never understand clients who think that someone else telling them facts will ruin their day......amazing what people think about..and also amazing that anyone has to worry about FEELINGS, when they HAVE to know the facts...UGH. The more I'm around people the more I like animals. Sounds like a nice Christmas holiday for you and your family...Merry Christmas to you and yours.