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Donkey - Saturday Jun 17, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

Have you ever had a day where you wonder, "What has happened to the universe?  Did I shift to a different time continuum?  Did a cosmic event just happen that I am no longer living in the life I was living but now live in this bizarro alternative reality?"

Because that's what I feel like has happenened to my life in the past week... 

Started with that unexplained skin break-out and 3 pound weight gain.  Then, in an instant, my father-in-law's health took a turn downward.  Then a huge drama at work -- all over me spending a postage stamp of 47 cents to mail out a thank you card!  Now today's weigh-in, and a legal clinic -- where I volunteer once a month -- that would just not end...

So now in my new bizarro universe: 

  • Father in Law was admitted to ICU (from his regular hospital room) and on a ventilator... not looking good. 
  • I'm so done with my workplace.  I love it, but it doesn't offer health insurance, which my family desperately needs, and it's not worth it to have a huge fight over me spending a stamp for a thank-you card (completely work-related, paid by my employer's stamp), so I"m not putting up with that any longer.  I am going to start looking earnestly for new employment.
  • And now my skin has cleared up and I weight 133.5.

I'm just waiting until the natural, correct timeline of events is re-established, so that I can go back to living in the regular universe and not bizarro-land.  Now I know what Tasha Yar must have felt like...

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/18/2017:
yes, the universe can play the strangest games....!

i am glad your skin has cleared up and the weight gone back down - probably due to stress?

also, i am so sorry about your father in law...i wish him recovery.

also, stay positive :)

Horn_of_plenty on 06/18/2017:
i wish a happy father's day to your hubby <3

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 14, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 139.0

(No weigh-in until Saturday -- this is just thinking...)

A word to my 2 skiiny neighbor ladies:  Thin doesn't count if you smoke.  Sorry.

Also, came to the realization that I need to be true to myself, and some of the things I had hoped would come to fruition aren't going to happen, because that's not who I am. 

  • I tried to start a walk-run program in the morning, a very simple route -- just can't do it.  I tried revising it to just walking, because I love to walk, and so if I can't run, then at least walk.  Not happening.  I've been enjoying the past 2 mornings sitting outside with my cup of coffee, just soaking in the morning, until it's time to go back inside to ride my exercise bike while watching the Today Show (my favorite morning news show).  Then I walk at night unless, like tonight, it's storming outside.  IDK I might keep trying, but I love sitting outside and watching the day come alive.  Maybe I'll feel more motivated to walk when the weather gets cooler out?
  • Still keeping up with the weight training, but I'm not doing the daily push-ups. I decided I need those rest days.  This is ok.
  • As much as I would like to become vegetarian, it's not in the cards.  The low carb focus on protein has worked for me.  Eliminating meat seems to just send my eating off the cliff.  It's hard enough to try to control the carb craving at 3pm or after dinner, without having to deal with the incomplete feeling I have with no meat.  I'm sorry about this, because I feel like it's a moral failing more than anything else.
  • Something wonky is going on, which may be hormonal but not related to my typical monthly issues.  I had a few bad breakouts on my chin and jawline, which is highly unusual, and just feeling out of sorts.  I've been sticking to my eating plan but eating more food, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, especially with a 3 pound weight gain last week. 

On the postive side, last night, after my lower body workout, I was stretching my legs and I'm *almost* satisfied with the back of my knees.  My thighs/knees have always been where I put on the weight  -- I've never had that gap between my thighs that they talk about.  the back of my knees have a dimple where the fat accumulates by the ligament behind the knee cap.  Well, that dimple is almost gone.  I want the back of my knees to be smooth and flat.

I'm crazy, right?

Progress as of today: 47.5 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/15/2017:
I am having so much difficulty adding in the 2 days of running with my 3 days of weights...it's so frustrating :( ....i'm trying to be true to myself also in the effort to trying to not overdo....still working on this.

as for the morning routine, i'm not a morning exercise person either and perfer to also sip something, usually kombucha or ACV in seltzer,and also relax to start the day. Don't punish yourself by forcing a morning walk if you enjoy an evening walk instead...that's fine...and that's good you are being true to yourself...

rest days are important. i have a friend who's EXTREMELY fit both strong and cardio-wise she can run...and she can swim! 2 things i do lack...she says she has two rest days a week...i'm trying this...i think i'll try to plan at least 1 rest day after my running days as the running days make me sore and weights do NOT.....

i also cannot become a vegetarian...i wake up in the middle of the night hungry and whenever i don't have meet for ahwhile (few days) i start to crave it if i'm only eating soy or beans...just decide what works for you - you do not have to do what is undesireable for you! plenty of things work for plenty of people and yes choose the one that is good for you...

yes, breakouts in those spots are hormonal. are you eating different things?

I also have fat around the knee caps as my legs are not very strong...but because i've been training them a little bit, i'm also satisfied with them as i'm doing as much as i can right now :)

I like how you are working at being truthful with yourself...it's also a way of achieving goals rather than always having only stretch goals and getting injured bc always the goals are too big.

stretch goals (huge goals) are good but to a point bc we also need to produce short term and smaller goals that can be definitely achieved.

Donkey - Saturday Jun 10, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 139.0

Oh where to start even....

So I gained 3 pounds.  What can I say...  I had hoped that eating a lot of fruit yesterday wouldn't backfire on me today but sadly, it has.  It's a darn stinkin' shame when you can't even eat FRUIT without having to worry about gaining weight.

Then, I find out from a lady co-worker that a guy co-worker told her to make me start eating more donuts because I'm too skinny and losing weight too quickly.  Tell that to the 3 pounds I just gained!!!  I can't tell if this is genuine concern or jealous backstabbing.  (This male co-worker and I talk about our workouts a lot, so that he commented isn't all that inappropriate.)   And he says this to my lady co-worker on Friday after he had the NERVE to chastise me for eating bread (Subway sandwich) on Thursday!!!!  That's what makes me think that his "concern" is rooted in ulterior motives.

Anyway, I'll just keep on smiling and eating my vegetables...

The good news is that I went walking/jogging again Friday morning and this time, I had no residual hip pain.  So lesson learned:  I cannot combine my running days (as minimal as that might be) with lower body weight training days.

It's going to be blazing hot here this weekend, so I had my daughter by a $10 inflatable pool to put in the backyard to sit in.  If she sits cross-legged, we can both fit in the pool, but only one of us can be underwater at a time.  It's a very small pool, but that's OK with me.  Small pool = small maintenance, if you know what I mean.


Progress as of today: 47.5 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2017:
Of that 3 pounds, some has to be water weight. ... if you think it's from fruit!? Maybe you also had salt.

Don't let it get you down. Just keep going back to your routine. Your good habits.

Yes, I'd say that coworkers are not generally going to wish you well on he weight loss....and they will offer those types of sly comments and remarks. I know this is sorta negative for me to say, but it's how i feel after dealing with biatches and nasty bosses as of late. There are people that choose to be evil over good and i now sorta know why. Sorta only bc to me there's no good reason in general. They think they are more deserving than we think we are. They think they are ENTITLED more than we are. ugh.

Yeah, coworkers aren't always professional. There's a coworker, male, at my job, just around my age, that full out took advantage of me. I now do not have lunch with him. I cannot give him anymore of my time. It makes me sick that after always lending him an ear, giving him advice (he's been with us around 1 year now as i've been with the company 6.5) and after he learned all he felt he needed to know - he backstabbed me. no need to discuss it here as it's all stupid stuff and i can't bother spelling it out on your page. But his mindset again is entitlement and that he didn't care if it hurt me to get what he felt he deserved. that's wrong. even if he thought it wasn't fair to him that maybe i had something better....he doesn't know my past....all the extra hours i worked. and he messed it up now for me (i now have longer hours, longer lunch, and my boss had asked me again if i was speaking badly about the dept because this coworker ratted on me after i was so honest and told him what the boss said about him he told the boss i told him! - stupid man !!!)). after i had only ever helped him.

Don't trust colleagues who you do not hang out with on the regular outside of work. Just don't trust them if they aren't actual friends / family.

I'm having a similar strategizing need with my training with weights / jogging. It seems i have to scale down weights which makes me sad but i can't seem to fit in both when i'm training both hard....so....yeah. balance. I have a slight tear in my shoulder but i'm letting it rest and taking a break from gym all week!

Good idea to sit in the pool, you can always buy a second one, you know! So each of you could have your own!

Donkey - Thursday Jun 08, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Not very optimistic right now...

I've been struggling with a sinus infection for about a week, which is far too long.  That's the bad news.  The good news is that it didn't settle in my chest, so no coughing.

My June goals have not gone anywhere.  I haven't changed my step goal yet.  Keep forgetting to do push-ups.  I've only been successful in walking in the morning once.  That was this Wednesday.  Did a walk-jog and today (the next day) my hips have been hurting/sore all day.  I'm wondering if maybe jogging isn't in the cards for me any more.  I know that this doesn't mean that I still can't walk in these beautiful spring-summer mornings.  With being sick and now being sore, it's been really hard to get up and going early.

Eating has been pretty good but not very disciplined -- translation: I've been eating sufficient but more calories --- so I am worried about this week's weigh-in, as I may be above goal again.  *sigh*

So on top of sick and sore, add sorching temperatures this weekend -- not good when I have a ton of yardwork to do.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/09/2017:
I’m a little sad at the start of reading your first line, Miss J Donkey! :- (

Oh, now I see why. Ok, I’d be cranky and upset if I were sick a week too. YES. Please try to get more rest so your body can heal. Lay off the exercise till you are better aside from gentle exercise that doesn’t put too much stress on your body. Listen to your body’s desire for rest.

Lol, it’s funny how you write “walk-jog” – did you get that from me??? Hehe. Stupid boss that I do like (I have two bosses) couldn’t realize that a walk-jog means both walking and jogging! He’s like, “what’s that!? – speedwalking?”…I’m like…”I jog and when I can’t jog I walk!” dumb….he doesn’t realize I’m not in shape to “just jog” yet!

Jogging is painful and not great for your body. Better off with walking. Only reason I’m jogging is: NYPD. I’ll quit jogging as soon as I don’t need to do it anymore. I don’t love it.

Lately I eat more, too. I even feel fat. But the scale tells otherwise – I’m beginning to wonder!

Anyways, feel better. Count on your veggies when you need to eat a lot…and have smaller servings of the other stuff after you’ve binged already on the veggies :-P

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/09/2017:
you will feel better :-P

Donkey - Saturday Jun 03, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

I DID IT -- GOAL HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED!!!  I reached the 50-pound weight loss mark, and I feel that I'm right where I should be for a lifetime.

So now I am entering the maintenance phase, and this will be exciting!  I am planning on continuing the good habits I've established:  exercising, drinking water, no soda pop (except on special occassions), raw vegetables for stress eating (3pm snack), and limiting white carbs except on my "relax" day.  This works for me:  these habits I established during the weight loss have become part of my lifestyle that I want to continue doing.

I've been battling a sinus infection this week, but it has not decreased my eating or activity.  Well, I take that back, I did scale back on the weight training on Thursday and Friday due to fatigue.  I am taking the weekend off from weight training to REST and then resume my schedule on Monday. 

I do not think that the sinus infection contributed to my weight loss.  At least I hope not.  When I lose weight from being sick, I usually gain it right back :-(

The visit with Mom & (step) Dad went well.  I was able to say no to some stuff, but was able to get a couple of old photo albums and all of my high school yearbooks.  The best news is that I'm getting Mom's treadmill for free!  I just have to take the mini-van up to her house to pick it up.  A free treadmill in great condition - WOW!  This will help me maintain during the winter months for sure.

June Goals:

  • Continue flexible attitude on life - try to see advantages or positives in any situation.
  • Incline push-ups every day before bed: minimum 2 sets of 10 reps.  (I forgot to do this last night, but no matter -- today is a new day.)
  • Increase Fitbit daily step goal to 11000 --- this is so scary, but I will do this
  • Continue weight training.
  • Add morning walk (or jog, if I feel ambitious, LOL)

And depending on how June goes, I am going to start thinking about stepping away from the scale more.  Maybe only 2x a month...

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

jabockov on 06/03/2017:
CONGRATULATIONS! ...and a free treadmill, life is good!

Donkey on 06/04/2017:
Thank you!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/05/2017:

Nice to read an entry early from you this AM! (reading it this AM!)

You must be DARN proud of yourself lady. Like, the only way to achieve your “magical weight loss” (and it’s fully NOT magic like everyone thinks it is!) is CONSISTENCY! J – your weight loss is a MAJOR TESTAMENT to your decision to stick with it. That’s the only way. You’ve stuck with it a long time. Never give up – your story proves that the long-term effort – and the accumulation of all the things you’ve done – better diet, cardio and even you added weight training – these actions (and even working less / help at the office / less OT) has gradually all helped.

God bless you - don’t stop. Always strive to be your best self and in all aspects of your life, not only your weight! Be proud, lady!

I’ve learned that fatigue really means rest. Do NOT feel bad if you need to occasionally rest. It’ll prevent injury / sickness. Have trust in listening to yourself – I commend you for resting as it’s something I struggle with greatly.

Yeah – def rest when with infections / sickness. I have a stye – but continued working out this time – but yeah…it’s always a choice…

Keep up the great work! I think you’re smart to step away from scale as it’s your actions that determine weight loss, not the scale doing any work.

I recently feel a gain in like a pound due to eating excess, I’ll have to scale back for a few weeks & not overeat after that. It’s been like a month of very high cals each week. LOL. we’re always having to change things – life’s variables.

Donkey - Saturday May 27, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 137.0

Must get my day started.  My daughter and I are driving up to my foks' place to pick up STUFF that is either mine or they are giving away, as my folks will be moving to Nevada in a month or 2 -- by the end of August.

Funny how I was doing OK this week, and then this morning and thought my legs looked so fat.  Nothing like a visit with Mom to bring out the issues.  And this is all me...  she's not really that type of person to say "Oh you should really lose weight" or "you're not going to wear that" etc.  She does enjoy talking about healthy habits but only if the conversation turns that way.

So I'm a bag of mixed emotions today.  This will be a short trip, so that I have the Monday holiday to recoop and rest.  Still, I'm looking forward to the road trip and time with my daughter.

Even though I am running late with what I must do before we hit the road, I had to post that I am 0.5 pounds away from my ultimate goal of 50lbs lost.  Yay!!!  I'm really surprised, but then again, I do acknowledge that I made sacrifices this week that would and did pay off.

This is the last weekend (Saturday / weigh-in day) before the new month, so I have June goals all lined up, and as I mentioned before, they are a continuation of this month's goals:

1.  Continue weight training routine

2.  Focus on flexible outlook on life

3.  Start daily push-up routine - 3 sets of 10, which I do standing up, but with my hands on the bathroom counter, so that I'm at an incline.

4.  Increase step goal to 11,000 steps -- SCARY!!!

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 05/27/2017:
You've done very well getting to your goal. Thank you very much for your comment...something to think about. :-)

Horn_of_plenty on 05/30/2017:
You must be proud of yourself - actually i am reading your positivity in your own words....you are happy and you are proud of yourself even moreso the word is proud. It comes thru in the entry. I'm glad you notice that it's your emotions and not actual fat legs! You realize your anxiety to see parents but you look at it also positively as time to spend on the road trip with your daughter. You sound mature (in a good way!) like you notice there are some things you have to do (go to parents) but you look at it as a positive opportunity (as it should be of course!). I also don't always do well with these types of trips / outings as i also tend to stress over big activities with family. it's just in my personality & i'm used to being this way.

Glad you can recoop after, it's important.

Remember - sometimes less is more. Keep your goals doable & try not to overdo :-)

Keep up the great work...i'm so glad that you continue to focus on flexibility (so am i for sure & i admit having a long ways to go!) and i'm so glad you are continuing weigh training - I wish my mom would she needs it in her tiny upper body could use some muscle.

Donkey - Saturday May 20, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 138.5

Logging in this morning to document that I'm back in the 130s... 

Less than what I weighed when I got married, but my wedding ring still does not fit properly.  Last time I gained, I could really feel it in my fingers, and now I'm left with excess skin on my fingers.  Will not spend the money to get lipo on my fingers, so I need to consider the expence of getting my ring enlarged.

Continuing with my goals to have a flexible outlook in daily living -- I think this has helped a LOT with stress levels at work --- and will start increasing my Fitbit step goal either Sunday or Monday. 

I am continuing with the weight training, trying to use the heavier weights when I can on the upper body, but recognizing my temporary  limitations as well.  It's a work in progress.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 05/20/2017:
2 more pounds to go to the 50 pound weight-loss goal.

jabockov on 05/20/2017:
I am so excited for you! "A flexible outlook in daily living", I like that!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/22/2017:
Hi J-Donk!

Congrats on your super-success of being in the 130’s. This time, keep your head up and stay here! You owe it to yourself to feel good and keep yourself where YOU WANT TO BE. Everything you want is in your control (being that it’s realistic of course! – like JayhawkJen was saying about realistic goals, I gotta agree with her and you!)..

Really, I didn’t know that fingers get the excess skin? Or maybe it’s just skin is less flexible / stretchy.? Yes, get the ring enlarged if you need to – and wear it proudly. You are a wonderful person and you weight what your goal was. Maintain this positivity! I love it!

I also agree with your flexible daily outlook – this is EXACTLY what I’m working on too with my own life. I am actually dialing back my jogging thru this holiday weekend in order to enjoy time out and not be exhausted and/or sore from trying to do everything. I’ve chosen socializing over jogging for this weekend! because life is not all structure – and a holiday is a holiday :-P

Recognize any pain. Don’t work thru any pain – stop or revise your activity. Speaking of which – last Friday I should have stopped at 1.5mi …but continued onto 2mi…not sure it was the smartest as I was very sore all weekend!

jayhawkjen on 05/23/2017:
My fingers also gain and lose. It's irritating when my rings are too tight or too loose. Your progress is so impressive. Congratulations!

Maria7 on 05/26/2017:
Happy for you on your success. As for the wedding ring...couldn't be sodium, could it?

Donkey - Wednesday May 17, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 141.0

I should have blogged last night when I was in a better mood and more inspired.  Now I am tired and grumpy from the day --- funny how one client can totally turn your day to crap.   She's a bad client and I got exasperated with her, and she could tell and called me out on that.  So I told her, "This is the third time you're changing mortgage companies and it seems as though I'm always finding this out after the fact and playing catch-up."    Doesn't help that her new lender is a real ******* and very abrasive.  I'm thinking maybe the client will fire us, which at this point, I'm OK with because that agent isn't sending us the number of files she used to.

OK, so my vent is over...

I realized yesterday or perhaps the day before that I actually DO have goals for May, and I like it so much that I'm going to extend my goal into June.  So all is not lost!

One of my May goals is to be more flexible in my thinking, to let go of my rigid black-or-white thinking.  So things like work, errands, family --- just going to TRY to be open and see more than one side to a situation.  (My work example above is probably NOT a good example of trying to be flexible in my thinking...)

I'm also going to start increasing my steps goal on my Fitbit by 1000 every week.  My daily goal now is 10,000, which I usually accomplish by 1pm.  Next week, my step goal will be 11,000 per day, and so on.  Just pushing myself a little more...  I will carry this task/goal into June as well.

One thing I want to clarify is that just because I am trying to be more flexible doen't mean that I can give away to self-indulgence.  For example, yesterday, I realized that I needed to go to the grocery store to stock up.  Usually my grocery days are Saturday or Sunday.  But I had a task to do, and so I did it - after I went for a walk after dinner...

After I came home and the kids put away the groceries, I thought, "Well, I can go to bed, but then I will miss my upper body weight training day."  I know I'm supposed to be flexible in my routine, but not to the point of being undisciplined.  That is to say, weights are a high(er) priority for me now, so I knew that to accomplish what I want to achieve, I do have to put in the work.  So I worked out until about 10pm.

Which might explain a little of my crankiness right now.  I'm tired!

Progress as of today: 45.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/18/2017:
Hello J-Donk! Why are you beating yourself up about when you should have blogged??? Huh? You can do whatever you like, darling! ;-P I hope I’m not bothering you with these types of suggestions? I suggest that you are a good lady who is accomplished and doesn’t need to put any blame or self-dissatisfaction on herself as you are definitely inspired and working to bring out the best in you! You do it…you work hard at it….you are proof that good comes to those who work towards it! You do it everyday, Jdonk. You make me realize how fortunate I am and how lucky I am with my own life & parents. You make me realize things about self-sacrificing for family when necessary. You have taught me about love. About thinking of others. And about learning & taking part in personal self-goals and self-care. You are an amazing person :-P Don’t doubt me. And don’t doubt yourself Believe this truth….!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/18/2017:
Oh…I completely understand how one thing / one client at work can totally ruin a good day…me and you (I think) are similar in this way. However, we must challenge ourselves to TRY to not let situations / people ruin our full days…or ruin us for HOME after work…that time should not be spent dreading work (something I need to once again get out of that habit after 2 months of stress that is now LUCKILY ended.).

I LOVE how you’re “extending” your goals into June. I must be drinking the same drink as you because – my goals are also now longer than one month at a time. For instance – a long-time goal of mine is to start lifting 40lb dumbells at the gym. Right now I’m at 35lbs. There’s no time limit on this goal – I know that by continuing to lift 35’s that one day I’ll be ready (based on how many I can do with my left bicep bc it’s the weaker one) to one day lift 40’s.

I cannot put a time limit on this – as my upper body is already very strong and I do NOT want any injury. So I will keep doing my good work & KNOW that I’ll get there. I sometimes add in an extra set of reps…to get myself ready for one day doing 40’s. Time limits on goals, as I have been reading, are not the most important thing. Just like a certain body weight isn’t most important. It’s the process of doing to get there – doing our good actions of going to gym, lifting weights, eating well…which get us to an end goal…

Oh and my other long goal over many months is the goal of being able to run between 2-3 miles straight. Right now, I just practice at whatever is comfortable 1x per week I do my walk/jogs. Next month June AND July is the same: 2x/week walk/jogs. I’m keeping my practice scheduled each week, making sure I do it, and ONE DAY my goal will be met. I see it happening around September-October. However, I’ll modify as necessary. Like I was saying, it’s the process, not the end goal, which is most important. The end goal will happen….but not without the process.!!!!!!!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/18/2017:
I have a lot of free time at work which is why i'm writing so much...it's like my own assignment over here haha...

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/18/2017:
Finally, I like your goal as steps. Take your time on the increases as in the book I read, and as I’ve discussed with close friends lately, doing too much too soon = progress will stop because people get overwhelmed that way.

Yes, giving into ALL self-indulgence can’t work. It’s def a give & take…agree with you. And I do love your flexible goals as well as your upper body weights workout goal….you know how highly I regard a weights workout! It must be my relationship right now…me and the upper body weights at the gym ;-P

jayhawkjen on 05/19/2017:
Impressive step goal. I should get a Fitbit

Donkey - Saturday May 13, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 141.0

Today's weigh-in is exactly why I think I will stop tracking my weight on a weekly basis after May.  Or maybe it's all the more reason to weigh in on a weekly basis???

Anyway, it's just a number, but I wouldn't be honest with you if I didn't tell you that I'm disappointed to be out of the 130s.  I could tell though that this week's numbers weren't going to be great.  It's like I can feel the bloat.  IDK , just not feeling like I"m at a "fighting" weight.

Also, my May goals are not working out at all.  So I'm scratching off May as a month of maintaining  my routine -- except that I AM still trying to use heavier weights.  But even that I've pulled back on a little to protect my back.

This week I've been dealling with aging parents.  Both my step-father and my father-in-law are facing probably the end of their lives within a year or so.  My folks are planning to move to a retirement community near my brother and my inlaws are moving back up here to an assisted living facility. 

Work is still busy and stressful, but manageable.  It helps to see that my co-workers are now getting busy too.  It's demoralizing to be overwhelmingly busy with co-workers leaving at 4pm or spending time on Facebook at work.  Now, I am no longer overwhelmingly busy and my co-workers seem to be a bit busy.

No call-back from the job that I applied for, but that was to be expected.

Have not made up my mind yet about what to do for Mother's Day.  It will involve going out to dinner but not sure what or where.  Just not motivated.

I seem to not be motivated on several levels here...

Progress as of today: 45.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/13/2017:
GIRL! Look at your progress chart. It looks so good! You lost weight all year. You are at just around your lowest that you've been in awhile. Do not let yourself down now!

If you got out of the 130's and you want to be back in them, you will have to slightly decrease or eat a bit less than you did this past week, that's all. Remember that to weigh less, you have to eat less calories, slightly.

But remember that you weren't ever lifting weights for a long time - so even if you lift lighter weights, you are still working out. If you slow down your reps doing them slowly on purpose for resistance, that's another way that I sometimes lift, especially when i'm tired or other reasons....but you can use lighter weights but lift up and down slowly for more resistance and difficulty without straining yourself.

exercise shouldn't hurt and you are just starting with weights. Do not give up on yourself.

You have done remarkably well always.

I have a similar problem with one coworker specifically. boss actually tells her to keep on eye on me (especially this past week that he was away!) talk about emotional abuse. i catch her looking at me constantly. like i'm doing something wrong! People say hi to me...and she turns as if it's a crime to say hello to people at work! I thought she was sorta nice around a year ago when she was hired, but now i see her true DISGUSTING colors of hate as she is a member of this big clique of girls at work, many friends since HIGH SCHOOL. And practically none have a degree above HIGH SCHOOL. i'm not saying that that is bad - but they are. they are hateful and disgusting girls. white trash. she she does little work, so it's worse, because she is bored and looking for trouble / entertainment. so there i am!

anyways, stay positive. Motivation is nothing. If you want to do things, you can do them. Stay positive. Don't let your weight climb back up now. Now you have to shift to either maintenance mode for awhile or keep dieting less. Maybe work to maintain like 138-140.

Don't give up on yourself. Also, aging parents - i am sorry about it. I know, based on my father, how difficult it can be as he visits his 95 yr old mother. It is so sad to watch them need more and more help in this world where everyone lives longer and longer. I am sorry it's a stress i know!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/15/2017:
I hope you had a great Mother's Day, J-Donk <3

Donkey - Wednesday May 10, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 138.0

Midweek update:  I'm not sure what to do about my goals.  I did a week of heavier weights and then I started having back spasm this past Sunday.  I went to a physical therapist on Monday who helped "reset" my pelvic bones and back muscles.

I thought it might have been some of the core exercises that were the source of the spasms...  I'm just very leery of stressing out my back again.

So I'm not sure where to go from here.

Progress as of today: 48.5 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 05/10/2017:
In answer to your question, yes, we do eat dinner, just earlier... We are not counting calories but I am noticing that they are less without our nitetime munching. No, we don't go to bed earlier...we just allow ourselves to drink anything (we don't drink alcohol) we want which is usually coffee, water, sweet tea, gingerale, or diet cokes, that we want after 5pm.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2017:
Try to not go hard. Def use lighter (rather than heavier that cause pain or potential for injury) weights. do sets that are of up to 12 reps (or go higher on the weight if you pass 12 reps). don't lift weights if you can't do 8reps.

try to stretch your back i know some stretches if you need.

take it easy. KEEP YOUR ROUTINE. only stop something if you feel pain. never work through pain, that philosophy is hurtful and old school - trust me, i know from experience. your body will have pain and if it does it means to listen.

stretch. you must stretch always. that can aid in preventing injuries.

STAY POSITIVE. You are now in the 130's. HAVE CONFIDENCE. STICK WITH YOUR NEW HABITS. Stay focused. Don't go back to your old ways. You can do this. Don't let a sore back bring you back to square one. Listen to me - this entry sounded a bit like your past - you can do this.

You ARE in fact sure where to go - you want to go FORWARD. not backward. this is from my heart, as always. Because i have these types of experiences too in my past.

You can do this. Stay the course, stay on track.

Where to go from here is your last sentence - GO FORWARD. STAY POSITIVE - that's where you go! and stay focused on doing what you can as long as your back doesn't get aggrivated. it's not all or nothing, do what you can right now.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2017:
books i'm reading and articles are national best sellers. i'm reading the tops. I love these books :-D

happy-1 on 05/14/2017:
sounds like a good time for a swim!

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