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Donkey - Friday Sep 24, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 150.5

Thank you to everyone who replied to my last entry.  Not only did it feel really good to just summarize and unload the ordeal we've had with that house, but your encouragement and sympathy has given me new strength to continue forward.

I don't want to appear to be something I am not, so I do want you to know that these problems with the house -- and the subsequent fall-out with my personal life -- DID cause me to regain weight.  Quite a bit of it in fact.  But in retrospect, perhaps this was a "necessary evil" to help me learn how to separate "weight" from "life".

I no longer see my weight as a reflection of my day or my self-esteem or my self-worth.  Now, it truly is "just a number".  So why am I here?  Because I do acknowledge that I'm still carying around extra weight.  My body will figure out where it wants to be, so long as I keep up with healthy, moderate habits that I can sustain in my lifetime.

What does this have to do with anything?  Well, I realized today that I have ONE WEEK to reach my weight loss goal for September.  And I'm pretty sure I can do it.  My goal - as I recall - was to get out of the 150's, and I am very close.  It's just as well that I did not put forth 100% last week so that I could be even more motivated to push forward this week.

So here's hoping for a great week!

Progress as of today: 17.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 09/24/2010:
Oh Donkey - I'm so sorry your family has been under the strain of two mortgages. The housing market is so bad right now-just about everywhere. Praying the deal on yur old house goes on through and this chapter is behind you. You are very insightful that you can see it as a necessary evil - or may I say a disquised blessing. So many of our trials are just that - in retrospect. There is so much truth, I'm afraid, in the saying That which does not kill us makes us stronger! Keep up posted on the progress of the closing and know that I am rooting for it to happen FAST!

moogy on 09/24/2010:
Oh, what joy would that cause - if we could seperate weight from life!!! I would be really slim and devestatingly attractive!! Yes you can reach your goal, not far to go now. Come on girl, you can do it!!

V on 09/24/2010:
You can do it Donkey!!!!

breakaway on 09/28/2010:
You are almost out of the 150's! You can do it! Hang in there!

moogy on 09/28/2010:
Thank you for your support donkey. I really appreciate it. I hope you are doing OK, I think about you often and hope that everything is going well for you in your world.

Donkey - Thursday Sep 23, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 150.5

Another half-pound gone, and I know that if I had put forth more effort and focused on my goal, it would have been more.  This is good because I know I have the power to change my situation, at least in the diet world, LOL!

Stress, poor weather and busy-ness are the reasons for a less than stellar perforance.  But this week is going to be different!

One thing that has changed is that I believe we have finally sold our Old House.  This is the house that we lived in (and own) before we moved (and bought) the house we live in now.  It has been a tremendous burden on our shoulders, to have this extra house.

I don't know, do you want to hear the gritty details?  How we rented to someone we knew and she stiffed us 2+ months' rent and we had to take her to court to get her evicted?  Or how we rented at a rock-bottom place to another lady we knew whose husband up and left her with 4 kids (one disabled with CP) after some 20 years of marriage?  She got the rent at a horrendously cheap price, but she had the $$ up front.  When she left, the house had definitely suffered some wear and tear.  Four kids will do that, you know.

Do you want to hear how we tried to rent it out (after the 2nd lady moved out) but couldn't find anyone to rent it that would send back the application?  How desperate people were to find decent housing that was also affordable?

Do you want to hear about the many many years and many many real estate agents we've had, trying to unload this house?  Do you want to hear about how we sold it a couple of years back, before my life fell to ****, and the deal fell through?  And that whole series of events led to what happened to me in my own life?

So you can see why I am not exactly jumping up for joy and celebrating -- although tequila sounds really good right about now.  Maybe you can also understand why I am and will remain skeptical of this deal until we finally close. 

But I have to say, it's a Godsend that we found a buyer when we did, because my family is on the Titanic of financial ships and things would be getting really really hard really really fast. (For example, we have $35 to live on until my husband gets paid next week and none of the bills, except for the mortgage have been paid.)

And we are all very ready to put this chapter of our lives (dh, me, the kids, heck probably even the cats) behind us.

Progress as of today: 17.5 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

loveray on 09/23/2010:
Donkey, Im so sorry to hear about your struggles. I cannot imagine that many things happening with my home...but I do wish you all of the peace and serenity in the world - as well as the clarity to feel that something good could and will happen for you!! many blessings! xo

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/23/2010:
i have the chills just reading this...i will comment more later...

moogy on 09/23/2010:
I have my fingers crossed that this deal goes through. Sounds like you have been living through a nightmare. Just have a look at how well you have been going with your weight loss while all this has been going on, yes it been slow but it been going down. Well done.

Umpqua on 09/23/2010:
So sorry to read about this. We have a rental property and I know how quickly they eat up time and money. I hope the deal goes through and you can rest easy and move on.

V on 09/23/2010:
Good job on your loss :) i am that you close the deal on your neverending saga!!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/23/2010:
OH, donkey, your situation really does upset me very much. i am so sorry you have to deal with ANY of this shi* going on right now and in the past. you do NOT deserve it. nobody does, but you are a truly helpful and good person. and it stinks that you have to face such difficult times.

I will cross my fingers that everyone works out right with the prospective buyer. i cannot even imagine having to own TWO homes .... can't even imagine managing one.

KathyBlue on 09/24/2010:
It's good to see you posting... I had this chapter in my life, too. My mother cannot climb out from this financial ditch a house caused her, too... It's difficult and no one deserves it. But there's a saying, after a series of bad things good things have to come!

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 15, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 151.0

After gaining a little weight -- and then getting back on track! -- I lost a little bit more (0.5) and weighed 151.0 this morning.  Yay!

Life seems to be getting busier by the day.  Not only is school (mine) kicking into high gear but the Wedding Hostess ministry that I help coordinate at my church is starting its new round of volunteers.  9 of them have email and 6 of them do not.

So I emailed the 9 with training dates and nobody has responded yet.  I'm kind of wondering what's going on.  I'll need to start making phone calls soon, for those who do not respond and for those who did not list an email.

But just about every Saturday in October, I'm busy with a wedding.  It would be nice if I could fit into my Wedding Hostess dress by October.

Progress as of today: 17 lbs lost so far, only 16 lbs to go!

KathyBlue on 09/15/2010:
Hello thereeee! Missed you! Don't forget to post a photo in October, you in your Wedding Hostess dress! I'm absolutely sure you make it!

liza36 on 09/15/2010:
Yay for that 0.5 pound gone! I know you can make it in the dress by October. Keep it up!

moogy on 09/15/2010:
Well done on the loss. It all counts - good for you! How much do you need to lose to fit into the dress?

V on 09/15/2010:
yes i cannot wait to see you in that dress and you will be able to fit into it :)

moogy on 09/20/2010:
I am just dropping by to let you know that I was thinking about you and hoping that you are doing OK.

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 08, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 153.0

Yep, I gained a pound, but I am not at all discouraged.  In fact, I am almost glad that I gave myself a week to slack off a bit and indulge my hormones --- and stress eating tendancies too, I'm afraid :-(  THAT I'm not too happy about but oh well.

My downfall this week was clearly the overindulgence of cheese baked crackers.  Definitely comfort food, but not binge eating by any means.  Just overdid it.

Plus it is TOM soon, so I can really feel the bloat.  It may be more psychological than anything -- can you feel 2 lbs? -- but I am ready to make better choices for myself this week. 

Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

V on 09/08/2010:
Well for some psychological but for Most when TOM is here 2-4 lb weight gain is not out of the ordinary, keep in mind that is only a temporary thing!

moogy on 09/08/2010:
It is no wonder men lose weight quicker than us, more muscle mass and no fluctuating hormones!! Hang in there it will all level out in time for the next time round.:)

Maria7 on 09/11/2010:
Hope you're having a nice day today. :-)

moogy on 09/14/2010:
I am just stopping by because you haven't been around for a while. I hope you are doing OK. I miss your posts and comments.

Donkey - Monday Sep 06, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 152.0

Anticipating a TERRIBLE weigh-in this week.  TOM must be coming soon because I have been really irritated by my husband's lack of anything other than sitting in front of his computer.  And then today, I am feeling despair and sadness.  So this sounds cyclical, and i know that if I can just hang in there, it will pass...

Unfortunately, I have been indulging in crackers quite a bit this week.  That plus any water weight from the salt and carbs or water weight from PMS/TOM -- none of this bodes well.

Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!

willbe110lbs on 09/06/2010:
I hope things get better for your soon, sounds like you're having a pretty stressful time at the moment. Try not to dread a weigh in, if it wont make you feel better, maybe leave it until next week? xx

moogy on 09/06/2010:
Thank you for your supportive comments. I think it helps to know that other people understand how you are feeling and that you are not alone. Hopefully in a few days you will be feeling better. I hope so anyway:)

V on 09/06/2010:
Chin up Donkey! I am sorry you are not having a stellar day :( I hope you will feel better 2morrow :)

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 01, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 152.0

Up half a pound, but I attribute that to PMS and humidity.  Keeping a clear perspective on things, a half a pound is really not a change and just a fact of maintenance.

I am not maintaining at the moment -- still trying to lose the weight I gained over the winter -- but I'm taking a maintenance approach to weight loss this time.  If it's something I can't really do for the rest of my life, I won't use it to lose weight, because I am tired of gaining 20-30lb every time life deals me something bad, because bad things are going to happen; it's part of life.


Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!

KathyBlue on 09/01/2010:
That's a wise thought, girl! I missed you, glad to see you posting. :)

hollybelle on 09/01/2010:
Amen, sister!

moogy on 09/01/2010:
Hey, if you maintain and sometimes lose a bit, in the end you will reach your goal, plus, it's not too far away now. Come next summer and we may have a goalweight Donkey.:)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/01/2010:
yeah, do take the maintanance approach :-) gaining and losing is the WORST. i can attest to that, too!

V on 09/01/2010:
I hear you on that!!!! This WILL be the last time for me! I am determined to keep it off! You can too Donkey

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/03/2010:
no, i definitely DON'T weigh everyday. it would drive me crazy. i'd rather not weigh in at all, lol. but once in awhile, i will go down to the basement and step on the scale(s). haha, we have two old scales that work well. i have a digital once, but i figure these do the trick right now!

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 25, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 151.5

I thought this deserved its own post:

I am at the halfway mark to goal!!! 

Actually, I'm a little past it, by 1/4 a pound, but in essence it's halfway...

Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!

skinnygrlwithin on 08/25/2010:
WWWWOOOHOO!!!!! And thank you for the kind words earlier... I think everything will work out for the best.. it always does

V on 08/25/2010:
Go Donkey! Go Donkey! Go Donkey!

moogy on 08/25/2010:
I am cheering, waving my arms in the air and high fiveing you!!!!!!!!!!! You go girl!!!!

legcramps on 08/25/2010:
LOL, good job Donkey!

biscottibody59 on 08/27/2010:
Good going--keep up the good work!

KathyBlue on 08/28/2010:
Thanks! Halfway mark, really! :) It's very punctual indeed, hehehe... 16,5 gone, 16,5 to go! :)

just42day on 08/28/2010:
That's fabulous! Congratulations! You're in the home stretch. Keep going and enjoy!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2010:
that's awesome! I guess going back to school has been really good for you. You are doing something just for yourself, to better yourself, and the weight is coming off, too. good for you, donkey! I hope you had a GREAT bike ride. Mine was OK. it was good, of course, but as of late my leg muscles are tired.....and i hate skipping days...and usually i don't. if i get in weights, then i may skip cardio....

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2010:
You are doing GREAT!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2010:
....you will soon be in the 140s! how exciting!!!!

biscottibody59 on 08/31/2010:
Excellent--you're doing great!

I'll look out for the 80% bar you mentioned--hope you're having a good week!

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 25, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 151.5

As promised, I am entering in my weigh-in.  Having an upset stomach from anxiety really helps with weight loss.  Too bad it feels so awful.

The lesson to be learned is that it really is about what goes into your mouth.  With only 254 cardio minutes this week, I think this proves my point.  (Took a day off from walking one day.)

I decided yesterday to start taking an acid blocker for my stomach problems. It says to take before eating, though, so I waited until this morning to start.  The box says may take 1-4 days but some people feel relief within 24 hours. I predict that I will feel better tomorrow.

I was feeling better last night, actually. Psychologically, I'm sure -- once I knew the problem would be taken care of, I relaxed enough.  But this morning it's all started again.  I don't know if it's because I know most of the day will be spent reading and studying for my classes or if it's because the kids are starting their first days of school and that I'm nervous FOR/WITH them, or what.

Normally, I would think about taking an anti-anxiety medicine, but mostly, these are tranquilizers and even with the slightest dosage, I get sleepy.  (I used to take anti anxiety meds and anti depressants when I was in my 20s.  Neither helped with my problems, which is why I don't take them today.)

So for now, I will see if the anti-acids help.  Have a wonderful day everyone!

Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!

loveray on 08/25/2010:
have a beautiful day, Donkey!

liza36 on 08/25/2010:
I hope the acid blocker works for you. I took Prilosec for awhile, and it really worked. Have a great day!

KathyBlue on 08/25/2010:
Hey, great weight loss! Try to do something natural, try to understand what foods help you to ease the pain and what kind of foods trigger it - it helped for me!

Umpqua on 08/25/2010:
Amazing job with the weight loss! I have had success with St. John's Wort capsules and tea for anxiety. I hope you have a great day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/25/2010:
3 pounds, man! good stuff. please be safe and careful. i hope you stomach feels better. and good luck to your kiddies at school! :-)

Donkey - Tuesday Aug 24, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 154.0

I am sorry I have not been on here this recently.  School has started for me this week and it has been extremely stressful.

On the plus side (if you can call it that), all that stress has made me sick to my stomach.  My stomach produces too much acid when I get really anxious, and all that acid makes me feel very nauseous.  So I have not been stress eating, at least.

In addition to all of this stress, my children are starting school tomorrow (Wednesday).  This is always stressful, especially for my son, I think, but maybe for my daughter too.  I think this year may be the hardest yet for my daughter.  I have heard that the 5th grade (10 yr old) is BIG on the **drama** for girls.  Her class seems to be ripe for the picking for dramatic candidates. 

Tomorrow is weigh-in day, so I promise to log in with that, at least.  That's the good thing about having a dedicated weigh-in day --- keeps me honest!

Anyway, I have been trying to drop in and read people's diaries but I don't always have time to log in and reply.  Having been a SAHM for many years and not out and about with a lot of people, it's been really really REALLY hard to get back into a thinking mode, a social mode, a deadline mode -- everything.

I hope to buy some anti-acids tonight.

Progress as of today: 14 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

moogy on 08/24/2010:
So much pressure is placed on our school children these days, it's a shame. There is always a silver lining isn't there - you feel sick but you haven't been eating. Good luck with your weigh in day tomorrow, I am wishing you luck.

Sofia on 08/24/2010:
5th grade is certainly when hormones start acting up. Hope you feel better soon, and good luck tomorrow!

just42day on 08/24/2010:
Hope your stomach has settled a bit. Sounds like a very active household you have there. I hope all goes well for the kids' return to school, too! :)

V on 08/24/2010:
OmG I hate that bubbly feeling in your tummy :( Along with the anti acid maybe some warm diet ginger ale might settle it. Have a great day at school tomorrow

thinnside40 on 08/25/2010:
Ugh~ I have a 5th grader daughter too... They are moving them to Middle School this year in our district.... Oh for joy...NOT!!!!!!

KathyBlue on 08/25/2010:
that stomach problem is really bad. I have already been in the same shoes but now it's being OK, since dieting...

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 18, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 154.0

Not much to say, just putting in my weigh-in for this week.  And still taking it one day at a time.

School starts next week for myself and the kids (I start before they do, LOL), so the remainder of this week will probably be focused around getting everyone set up.

Progress as of today: 14 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 08/18/2010:
Congratulations to you on your new lower weight of 154.0, down -1.5....yayyy! You're doing good! :-)

legcramps on 08/18/2010:
Good job!

moogy on 08/18/2010:
Well done on a good weight loss. Have a successful day donkey.

Maria7 on 08/21/2010:
Thank you very much! I hope so, too! :-D

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/21/2010:
i'm just completely unable as of late to do any work in my house without eating, also.

skinnygrlwithin on 08/23/2010:
I appreciate your advice...and I do understand, some relationships are just over when they are over.. but I'm not always like that and my bf is like you... so I don't know what to do... obviously people are different, obviously people are entitled to their own opinions and what they are willing and capable of dealing with...which is what is our biggest problem is in this relationship because we are different with this situation... it's just a matter of how do you solve that... come to a solution... especially when I feel like i've compromised but he's not willing to... but enough of my yapping ... we are at the moment to the best of my knowledge taking a break for the week and will reassess the relationship and what we are willing to give up and what we are not to keep this going...

thinnside40 on 08/23/2010:
:o) Good Job! (o:

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