Up 2 pounds - I'm so discouraged. I woke up feeling bloated.
Nevertheless, I got up, rode the stationary bike, and did my upper body weight routine. Brought my 8lb dumbbells down to the basement to exercise this morning, rather than putting it off until tonight. Just wanted to get it out of the way. Now my arms are a little sore, and I have a full day of yardwork ahead of me (bagging twigs and leaves).
Even my husband could tell I was discouraged. I guess I sighed loudly before starting, and he asked what was wrong. I explained to him how I gained 2lbs, feeling discouraged, etc. He tried to be encouraging so he gets Donkey Points for that, but still...
Maybe I'm just tired? Maybe something is bothering me that I'm not aware of? It's beautiful weather here in Chicagoland, hope the day gets better...
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
It's the night before weigh-in and just as I was getting ready to go out for an evening walk, it started raining. So I will stay in tonight, but I'm feeling a little anxious about tomorrow's weigh-in... Also, I have conflicting emotions going on right now, because I'm feeling full from dinner and yet anxious about not being able to walk it off, and yet grateful (somewhat) for the rest night --- although to be honest, I'd rather be walking.
Oh my was it a struggle this week to watch my carb intake. My daughter's 17th birthday was on Tuesday, so dinner was take-out, which I was fine with - cut my gyros in half and had carrot sticks along with it. But then we had cake and ice cream. I probably should have chosen ice cream, but I LOVE CAKE, so I had cake, and while I ate the whole piece, it wasn't all that great tasting --- it was a beautiful looking cake though. Is that silly? To want to eat more of something just because it looks so nice, even if it's not the best you've had?
So the cake was a disappointment -- probably because the chocolate icing was not as sweet as you find in the supermarket made cakes. (This cake was made in a bakery, and I think the icing was their homemade recipe. It was different, lighter, not as chocolatey.)
Afterwards I felt very bloated but I stuck to my routine and worked out on weights that night. Upper body, I think? Yes.
The next morning though, oh my I was so tired... and I felt almost hungover! I think it was from having all that sugar that my body isn't used to. So although the cake wasn't that great, and I felt awful afterwards, I've been fighting with myself every night this week not to pick off one of the frosting roses or have a slice. I proposed to my daughter that perhaps we freeze the rest of her cake but it's a very small cake and she said she wanted to work on it some more over the weekend, so there it sits, and here I am writing about it.
So this morning I was doing really well, and then the title company rep. came into the office with 4 huge bowls of fresh cut fruit and these *BEAUTIFUL* doughnuts! ACK!!! I just can't win -- I'm surrounded by beautiful cakes! I had 2 servings of fruit, one in the morning, and then one after lunch, as a dessert. If I still want a doughtnut after weighing in tomorrow, I can have one.
Weight training update:
So I stuck with my planned schedule for weight training: Upper body Saturday and Tuesday, Lower body Sunday and Wednesday. Evening walks on Monday, Thursday and Friday -- except that tonight it's raining :-( -- per Horn of Plenty's advice this week to schedule an alternative activity on my "off" days (nights).
I used my 8lb dumbbells and just worked through any joint pain. It didn't seem so noticable this time, and I know that the heavier weight will bring the results I want.
I want results, and I don't mind working for the results, but I get so annoyed at feeling obligated to stick to the routine. Does this make sense? I'm a hard worker, and I know that my effort will pay off, and I'm fine with that. But I think it was last night, I just felt like, "OMG am I going to have to do legs on Thursdays for the rest of my life???" That's TOTALLY what it felt like.
Funny that I feel that way about weight training, but I have never said that about brushing my teeth or even flossing, which I have established as a daily habit for over a year now, and feel really good about that.
But anyway, I'm not sure how to reconcile myself to weight training. Maybe it won't ever happen. Maybe I just need to give it more time.
I might go back to doing weights in the morning, since I'm soon running out of TV shows at night that hold my motivation while weight training. Also, I would like to start doing some work on my core muscles, but having hardwood floors throughout my house, it's kind of hard to do any floor work. ONCE AGAIN, another accommodation I have to make in order to get the job done. My g*d, I'm so sick of this -- why does it have to be so DIFFICULT???
Progress as of today: 46 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Quite happy with today's weigh-in, especially since I went out to dinner with my Church Ladies last night. I was a bit afraid that the fish fry I had would cause water retention -- just by the nature of restaurant food having more salt in it. But my weekly efforts paid off.
I am very close now to accomplishing one of the goals I had set for myself in April! (The one about getting into the 130s - would love to see a new set of numbers!) And I have only 4 pounds remaining until I reach my ultimate goal of 50lbs gone.
The weather is warming up in the Chicago area so I hope to get some yardwork done this weekend. If the warm weather remains fairly consistent, then I will concentrate on getting in an evening walk ... let's say at least 4 days a week this week? Weather has to be permitting though.
I had a huge revelation this past week in my response to Happy-1's diary entry about establishing habits. I realize that one of the reasons why it's so hard for me to keep up a consistent weight-training routine is because it's not something I do every day. And to really be effective, it (a habit) needs to be a daily thing, for me. Now I just realized though that this might be part of the "black or white" thinking, i.e. "all or nothing". I could use this opportunity to teach myself to be flexible.
So I'm thinking that my weight training routine could be something like this: Off, upper body, lower body, off, off, upper body, lower body. Repeat. Having 2 days off in a row, though, is dangerous -- it's a slippery slope to doing nothing from there. It's not like I spend hours weight training. Why is it so hard for me to do this?
Also, I would appreciate some input: I use 5lb dumbbells on my lower body exercises and my thighs/butt are on fire the next 2 days. I use 8lb dumbbells on my upper body, and I feel nothing. But I can't really go higher (right now) because lifting a heavier weight causes pain in my joints. Ideas? Suggestions?
Progress as of today: 46 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
I will write more later....
But please remember - in a good way as you do - that my comments to you are always truthful and from my heart....and things that i am learning also...because i believe in you...and i am thankful for a friendship with you here. I do believe change is possible. And i do believe that even friendships here on the web are meaningful and helpful to have in my life...and hopefully yours too. :-) Letting you know i'm here to always help, never hurt, and always to advise based on my experiences. <3
if joints hurt when increasing any further weight for upper, do the exercises very SLOW with same weights and don't go up...if you go slow and resist on both the contraction and expansion (release?) of the weight, it works better and you don't need to go up in weight - i'm saying to do VERY slow curls and this can be like adding weight....it's harder. but no additional weight is added.
routines do not have to be daily - you can have a weekly routine. that's how most weight training goes! I go 3 days a week, with usually set days but have learned to be much more flexible in order to make sure it gets done but going on days i usually don't go when i have other involvements...
but to start - i like your approach....on the other days - you can plan to do crocheting? i think you said you knit? maybe i'm mistaken? but you can find something ELSE to do OR do the weights in place of WALKING!
that's what i'd do, actually....walk like 3 days, and instead of walking, do weights. see how it works...you may end of liking it - especially if it affects your weight positively! and it might! so, don't change your routine....
you can walk some days after dinner. on the other days, do the weights...this is my suggestion. then, you have your routine SET!
Feeling very anxious this morning, having a hard time getting my day started, so I put off writing here until I at least got in my morning exercise. (See, it's all a matter of priorities and then forcing yourself to stick to them!) I've put off breakfast, because I'm not sure what I want to eat, and again, having anxiety in getting anything accomplished right now.
Today: A good weigh-in! I was nervous about weighing in because last week was so low (due to illness) and then last night, I splurged on a piece of strawberry pie after dinner. What on earth was I thinking? Dinner (and dessert) was sitting kind of heavy, and I was feeling anxious, so I went for a long walk last night, which I think helped, but having all that sugar definitely isn't in my "low carb" plan!
March Recap: It had ups and downs as far as the scale, but pretty much maintained. I started March at 142.5 and ended at 141.5 last week. Not too bad considering I was sick for a couple of weeks and then displaced from my exercise equipment at the end of the month (due to houseguest staying in the family room where my exercise equipment is).
April DD Goals: (1) Would like to see numbers on the scale in the 130's; (2) Establish a regular weight training schedule, even if it's just 2 days a week; (3) Establish the habit of walking in the evenings, now that the weather is getting nicer out.
April Personal Goals: (1) discuss and prioritize financial goals with husband - things we've put off until resolving our house issue; (2) Work no later than 6pm even if it means letting go until the next day; (3) Organize/clean/purge bookshelves in spare bedroom -- tackle 1-3 shelves a weekend. [This is part of my new mission to downsize and minimize clutter in my life.]
Now I really must get my day started. This anxiety is so uncomfortable today!
Progress as of today: 44.5 lbs lost so far, only 5.5 lbs to go!
Habits we don't realize control us even subconsciously - i give you a challenge...to overcome most of the anxiety....to take control....
but also like you mentioned to me...don't speak up unless necessary when at work...because the big mouths will also cause us nice ladies problems...trust me....ugh! what lessons i learned, so glad i learned them here at this job before moving to the NYPD...thankful for lessons learned HERE not THERE (nypd) where i'd be fired if it were little ole ME vs an "experienced big-mouth boss." as is the case of what happened here 2x in the past two weeks. done with that nonsense...and happy about my own life (got a raise last week...which helps the whole "positive thinking" thing on my end duh!....lets make it work...
...i'll comment more on the content in your diary later.
or if a food reward, it's lower cal...i drink lots of flavored seltzers using stevia....i have spent money on expensive items at times to help me - like the stevia...
but i also crave the feeling to know my clothes fit...that i don't have to keep changing sizes...things like this have more importance, mostly, over overeating until i am so sick and it's 3,000kcal worth of food....
i have been able to break a lot of the habits this year...as i much prefer how my clothes fit year-round...
also, i crave caffeine a lot...over just eating more food...i have replaced a lot of overeating, with cafienating (not saying this is good) ...
what i'm saying is, life's a bunch of habits - cues which create a craving for a reward...
it seems you are used to having sweets when you are cued by anxiety...
Maybe your cue is when you indulge in a heavy dinner, that you expect a reward of dessert...so your cue was the heavy dinner which lead you to crave a dessert...
so you must change the reward for a heavy dinner...maybe instead of a drink or dessert, you can have fruit (whcih is sugar) and follow it up with seltzer sweetened with stevia - this is waht i do ... a small amount of somethign low cal, that is sweet, followed by something sugar-free, to satsify my mouth...and i can skip the higher cal pie / cake....
you need to recognize the cue that had you craving sweets and change the reward of sweets to a healthier reward....realize you have a habit going on...
the reason you do not know what in the earth you were thinking...is because habits are ingrained and not even thought about...we do them partially without thinking....like when you get up and turn off the alarm, or brushing your teeth...
to keep the weight down...and not indulge on a cue you are used to indulging on, you must realize why you were tempted in the first place and put in place a reward that oyu like, that is not cake.
walks can be rewards, they will make you feel good. a good idea is to crave the feeling of self-appreciation for completing a walk...knowing you did good for yourself.
2 days a week of weight-training is suitable and beneficial. if you are sick, you must rest. I have learned this - then you get over being sick faster....sleep is majorly important while sick. you must get yourself strong so you do not continuously feel run down constantly for weeks on end....!
Your evening walk can be a habit that starts as a cue that when dinner is over - the cue of dinner over is to go for a walk, for instance. Then, the feeling & knowledge of the scale going down is an internal reward for that walk. This can be your loop - only an idea. Dinner over = time for walk = yielding a feeling of being productive and accomplishing your goal of feeling good plus you do feel good from moving plus numbers on scale will be good.
However, your motivation when the numbers on the scale got to goal got screwed up...because once you MAINTAIN, the numbers on the scale do NOT go down...the motivation / reward of being healthy needs ot come from something else...not the scale...i have learned that for me - my reward is ALWAYS fitting into my clothes / this size.
My motivation, for mainenance, is beyond the numbers on the scale.
I think you are very motivated but #s on scale, but you need to find a different motivator for maintenance>......! This is what i just figured out based on knowing you, here and your entries over a long period of time! :-D
It is very important to limit your work hours - good idea - you must be healthy and not run-down bc of extra sitting hours at owrk....use them to relax at home / walk / do whatever you enjoy outside of work!
However, I did not realize that this is what the strawberry pie incident was about. But you're exactly right! Gosh, it's so hard to be vigilant because these "dysfunctional coping mechanisms" can be so sneaky!
I don't expect to be this low next week. This is mostly due to being sick this week, first with a low fever, and now with an unstoppable cough. Starting Thursday, all exercise went out the window. Going to try to take a walk today.
I have a house guest coming this week, so my routine will be all out of whack, since my stationary bike is in the basement and that is where we will have the guest quarters set up. So I must be disciplined enough to get my butt out of bed to walk outside if I want morning cardio. Hopefully the Chicago weather will cooperate.
Right now, just trying to get myself started on the day... This one is going to be difficult.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!
I know why i am sick - stress - of a long month. that's what i think anyways - or i coulda just caught a germ..who knows. but it does suck because i know when i am sick, like you, i have lower energy levels for exercise and i truly just want to feel better before doing exercise too. I may just take off exercise until i am 99% or so better! haha....def skipping a workout this week.
lol, back to you - trust me that sleep is very important.
In anticipation of having a salty dinner tonight (Friday) for St. Patrick's Day, I decided to weigh in this morning rather than Saturday morning, to avoid any "weight" that might be salt-related. I thoroughly enjoyed my reuben sandwich tonight, along with a big tossed salad.
I'm mulling over whether to have Friday weigh-ins rather than Saturday morning weigh-ins. On Fridays, I like to relax a little bit, indulge a little, but I'm on track for most of Friday. So even though I stick to the program pretty much, even on Saturdays which are my "cheat days", by moving weigh-in to Friday mornings, that would reduce the "cheat day" to a "cheat meal". Not sure yet. Will re-evaluate at a later date.
So now that we've changed the clocks and daylight savings time has taken effect, I realize that I need to get back into the habit of taking a walk after dinner, when it's still light out. This week, I was pretty much coming home, getting into my pajamas and getting to bed/sleep around 8pm. That's how hard the time change affected me. But now I've adjusted and realized it's time to get back into the habit I had over the summer last year, which really helped me lose most of my weight. I think by adding these evening walks, I can reach my weight goal.
I must tell you though that this week I really did it: I did some squats and lunges -- nothing really difficult -- except this time I held 5lb dumbbells. You would think that these little dumbbells would not make much of a difference, but oh my goodness, my donkey and my thighs have been on FIRE since Tuesday. Today is the first day that I can manage the ache and my legs aren't buckling out from under me.
So if 5lb dumbbells made such a difference with my thighs, why don't I get that same sensation when I do upper body exercises with those same 5lb weights? Especially since I've always considered myself to be stronger in the legs rather than the upper body. What do I do? Do I use a heavier dumbbell for my arms and back to get that "ache"?
Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!
It's ok to change your ways if it's going to make you happier or be a positive influence to your lifestyle which it is!
Lol, the clock change affected me...when i wrote to you previously i accidentally thought we were gaining an hour lol...anyways, I think it took me a week to get used to the hour shift change of Springing Forward.
If you are on fire and that sore it's because the muscles obviously aren't even used to being used! I"m so happy you are starting up with the weights again. Do it for a long period of time, 6 mo-1yr and you will see MAJOR changes happening. More muscle & less fat. Smaller arm circumferences around bicep and you increase your muscle mass. trust it & me...no lie weights are the BEST.
5lb make a difference if you weren't even training the legs. I don't ache after my workouts as my muscles are used to being used...you shouldn't have to always be so sore...i think that would lead to an injury as when i injured myself, it was a time when i was constantly too sore after weekend tough workouts and not enough recovery time.
But u may have to increase the weights for arms...you should be able to do at least 8 reps...if you can do 12+ you should increase by 5 lbs. If the increase from like 5lbs to 10lbs is still too easy and you can still do 12 reps and do it 3x (3 sets of 12 reps) with 10lbs, move up again to 15lbs. If 15 is hard and you can only do 1 or 2 sets with them, do the last set using the 10lbs again. You don't have to fully increase all sets....do whatever you can do ALWAYS increase the amount of weight you are lifting. This is what I do...to make sure I'm always trying to get to the next higher weight...keeps me strong. I do not get sore always, no, but i'm always pushing myself.
It's not the ache, but your progress that should count more in my opinion. Make sure to do 3 sets of 8-12 reps. Once you are doing 12 reps fairly simply with those weights, time to increase your weight.
Squatting and adding weight to your own body weight makes sense that you're getting sore as you NEVER did that before also...so that's a "high weight" to use as it's the first weight you ever added to your squats!
And in terms of squats, I still don't even need to add weights...i am still good with doing them only with my original body weight...that's how hard an exercise i guess they are!
Gained 3 pounds this week. I seem to be in a see-saw with the same 3 pounds back and forth. I've been on track all week, so I think hormone fluctuations had a part to play in this week's weigh-in. At least that's my hope.
Trying hard not to get discouraged, but I can be honest here that I'm feeling kind of down about this number. Plus, my husband is in a lot of pain today but forced himself to go to work. I know he did that because he thought I would get mad at him, since he took yesterday off too, and I feel bad/sad about that too :-(
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!
I hope your husband feels better than he did Friday. So sorry.
If not, I will mention how she and i (after i was asked to apoligize to her for my tone of speaking to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (you should have heard her come back at me - she actually threatened me! and she didn't have to apologize!?) ...anyways...if it comes up at work, i'll mention right away how she and i agreed the situation was OVER and dealt with on Friday. that we agreed it's over and we'd agree to move forward.
If i have to hear of the situation again at work, I'll simply speak up for myself. And i'll say that all bc she is a boss or has a higher position than me, doesn't make her bullying of my coworker alright. It doesn't give her any authority to disrespect anyone in the company. That everyone deserves equal respect and that she also needs to play by the same rules as everyone else in the comapny.
I think my co-workers are trying to sabotage my efforts. They keep bringing in food and telling me to eat. I take the food, but then I bring it home, rather than eat it at work. That reminds me, I have to take the bagel w/jalepeno cream cheese out of my lunchbox before bed... I should just put on my big girl pants and say, "no thank you".
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
I notice here at office, large office, not everyone is saying yes when cake goes around...especially some bosses decline (they are good at saying no...the bosses!)
Oh yes, I think I have found the secret to sucessful weigh-ins: the night before weighing in, have screaming sessions with my husband before eating so that neither one of us feels like eating much. There you go. Not good for the marriage but very good for the scale.
Truthfully, I think my success this week had more to do with eating raw vegetables, more than anything, and consistent exercise.
I finally got honest with myself and decided on a final weight loss goal: I want 50 pounds total off in this journey. So that will leave my goal weight at 136.5 and then I will shift into maintenance at +/-2 pounds either direction. That feels right and honest to me.
I would appreciate feedback from other DD'ers regarding the daily eating routine I mentioned in my previous entry, re: eating all day. Thoughts, feedback, constructive criticism are welcome.
Thank you for visiting my diary today :-)
Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!
You are doing great...sorry about the screaming...but happy you are doing well.
Keep up the great work and positive thinking! PS - it's almost Spring & Daylight Savings :) We can enjoy extra sleep!
Weigh Day is tomorrow, but as I am taking the train into the city to meet up with my favorite aunt and my mom, I may not have time to write until Sunday.
I did relatively well at dinner tonight, so I'm hoping to have a good weigh in tomorrow.
I did well at dinner because it was a complete disaster, part of which I touched on in my comment to InnerPeace and museumgirl. The husband is supposed to lose 50-60 pounds so he can have hip replacement surgery, and to help him with his AS disease. (It's hard on a body that is already completely inflamed to carry around all that extra weight.) So we've all been bending over backwards to help him, but today he had a good day at work, so he comes home and finishes my daughter's panchki from yesterday and makes himself a pepperoni pizza for dinner. WTH!!!!
I get that he wanted to celebrate, but not with CRAP FOOD like that, and not for just having a good day at work. WTH!!!
So he throws a huge tantrum and goes down into the basement without eating and plays computer games. I come home to THIS after dealing with attorneys and clients throwing the same kind of tantrums all day long. Seriously! Regarding one of the attorneys I was fighting with, I finally told my boss, this guy is being ridiculous, please call him and see what the problem is. WTH!!!
One thing that I have realized this week -- that I briefly mentioned to Jayhawkjen is that I eat ALL.THE.TIME when I'm at work.
I have 1-2 cups of coffee during the day, and about 48 oz (700mL?) of water throughout the day. This cannot be a healthy way to be. I don't want to be eating all the time, but most of the time I feel genuinely hungry, except for the raw vegetables -- that's usually anxiety.
BUT - there was one good news today: the house, all clean and beautiful, appraised much higher than we had even dared hope to hope for, and that helped reduce our new monthly payment about $60. We close on Wednesday. Thank you all for your positive thoughts & energy, prayers, and good vibes. Much appreciated, more than I could ever express here...
Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!
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Don't be discouraged. You'll get it back off.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/17/2017:
Donkey J! It happens. ....
First, it's a busy holiday weekend for you i am SURE and just your daughter's bday...you are a little busy.
I am still reading this habits book which is most interesting.......
You def have your patterns and habits and I....we are VERY habit-based (me and you)...i know it!
I relate to this book like CRAZY and you would too if you read it....
You have had a lot going on - so you have been using all your energies on that stuff...and then you get to yourself.....and you have little energy left!
just rest up, conserve your energies MORE FOR YOURSELF>...rest up and get back to your routine.
yes - i do think you are tired. I noticed thru facebook reading my "memories" that i am usually tired this time of year, weirdly enough!, or at least at this particular job where March is always long with little vacation time, etc. and i do not want to use any vacation time now either...it's a tiring time of year also with allergies for me.
but back to you....i am now reading a part of the book about when we use a lot of our willpower up....like you are similarly using your energies for your daughter's bday, holiday of Easter, and stuff like that....your willpower is now lowered....for you and for your exercise plans....your willpower is low bc you were using it on other things...like not having the cake and stuff or what was it? donuts? at the office. You MUST find ways to conserve your will power so that when you finally get to YOU - you at the end of the day after work or on the weekend and you are finally able to make positive choices for YOU - you have to have some willpower left to make the GREAT choices for YOU.
and you must STOP thinking that the scale is your ruler! The scale is not the ruler of you. YOU are!!!! The choices you make will determine your weight. The scale doesn't determine your weight.
The willpower you have will help you make the good choices. but you cannot deplete your willpower so much that your are not equipped with the strength to follow thru into making these good choices.
I am learning this. This is what i'm reading! This book is a HOT book! Quite excellent. Because it's bringing into play so many things that i don't necessarily or never necessarily thought about so acutely to realize that there are reasons why some people fail or some people cannot maintain....and others do....
there are ways to actually change our habits and also our ability to stay on track. both me and you.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/17/2017:
annie said it with only one sentence, her comment above me, and it's so true.
for instance Donkey, when i do so much on weekends and go out and "party" it's a killer to still have the willpower to go to gym during that weekend like on Sunday after a party night or to eat well the next morning...
so sometiems what is best is not to party so much....because then i have a hard time into the next full workweek, etc.
ok, that's not a great example.
there were better examples in the book.
but for instance, you were using your willpower not to eat her cake and not to eat the donuts...and then your willpower has been used...but you still need to KEEP using it somehow and get your body exercising, weight training, or walking, or eating wwell at home.
It is up to you, J, to continue this will-power...and to also find ways of CONSERVING your will-power (try to get less stressed at work....try to be less stressed about the condition of your hubby if it's something that cannot be controlled by you?)....you have to use your will-power LESS in areas of your life where you already have habits...and use it MORE right now to create the healthy habits that you want like weights.
weights are not a habit of yours yet...you must use your willpower to create new habits. you must push yourself out of comfort for this.
conserve your energies and think about how you look forward to this chapter of weight training as you know even from me that the results DO kick in but not right away. you have to do it for the long run to see changes. After 6months, huge changes as well as one year. but you have to stick with it. you cannot get discouraged.
stop with the scale if you must...it's doing you a disservice. go by how your clothes fit!
you KNOW how to eat healthy.
the scale is playing a game with you.
i read your entries, i see how you feel.
the scale is determining your mood. do not let this be so.
and try to keep a focused momentum throughout the day that in the back of your head you are excited to do the weights because you know the results that will come...more toning, less fat as muscle will take up less room.
Donkey. you can do this.
stop telling yourself you cannot. xoxoxoxo
i'm also working at changing my life...as you read and can see on fb. it's not a joke. :-D it's hard work. I'm still struggling to realize i will soon be running (JOGGING).
Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/17/2017:
i'm now, at 3pm...couple hours after writing to you above, reading your earlier below entry. I guess i was SPOT on with what i was trying to say about managing and SAVING your will-power.
You AND ME...we are now learning to move beyond using up our will-power. we must actually start to not become fully depleted / exhausted (trust me i do it too....i felt horrible this weekend and was in the WORST of moods ever and really couldn't do much...but that is like i said something i must learn to deal with better!!)...so we must somehow get better at the life balance....so we don't get to the point of wanting to give up as easily...
we must hold back and not give in...so that our will-power is not getting used up when we need it most!
even working more hours at work past me time to leave....that uses up will-power ...like on Friday when i worked a full day when most went home early or didn't come in...i was too exhausted and my legs too sore....and it wasn't only willpower, but if i weren't sore...i still don't know if i'd have the willpower to push myself to walk at the park because i'd used to up on everything else last week.
part of the reason i felt so bad this weekend as i write this and think more about it - it was def an emotional exhasution and it caused me physical pain too.
will-power is the only factor that is missing at times....and when we are exhausted it becomes THAT MUCH HARDER to make good decisions - getting more sleep, eating better, lol less caffeine on my end!...these things can help us manage our will-power and not deplete it all at once.
as a teacher, i was constantly depleting my will-power and energy in general bc teachers have a lot of time off....so i'd just plan according to the breaks and not care if i was exhausted before a vacation...
but now with my current situation, there's no breaks...not many days off....very similar to yours i know....so we must just learn to not deplete ourselves fully...to not always be exhausted come the weekend....to learn to keep our minds and bodies always with an extra store of WILLPOWER / energy. it's hard - but the challenge in the end is good when you realize you did it...it'll always be a challenge - a LIFE CHALLENGE. it never goes away, but gets easier as more things become HABITS. the more you repeat things, the more habitual they will become.
keep repeating your intentions, they become habits, they start to become lasting.
habits need LESS WILLPOWER because they are ingrained already in your daily / weekly actions and you don't need to think about doing them as much because you are used to always doing them.
so the more good habits you create like eating right things, weights - you will need less willpower as you create new structure.