I have lots of little things to do today, which I am looking forward to doing: walking, laundry, library, shopping (OK, this maybe not so much), reading, maybe some baking. I have a recipe for keto gingerbread, and I would love my house to smell of gingerbread this weekend, but we'll see.
I was inspired by something someone said to me yesterday. The office manager for the business that occupies the 1st floor of the building I work in (a converted 2-story farmhouse) had weight-loss surgery about 2 years ago. Her journey, while different than mine, has been amazing to witness. As she has had some illness lately, I wanted to know if she had passed her goal weight, and she has, because she wasn't able to eat much during her illnesses. She has a new "goal" weight, but she said that if she stayed at where she's at, she'd be fine with that.
She's lost about 100lbs, maybe a little more, so obviously, loose skin is an issue. I mentioned to her that I once belonged to an online group where a lady who had lost about 100lbs on her own had reconstructive surgery a few months after reaching her goal weight (arms, tummy, breast), and it kind of messed her up emotionally (body-image, motivation, etc.). So I was asking THIS lady where she is at with considering surgery. She knows it's a real possibility in her future, but she said to me, "These past 2 years have been working on building a new body. I'm looking at 2019 as a year to "remodel" with toning and weight training to take care of the loose skin, and then I'll re-evaluate."
WOW - I LOVE IT! And I love this for myself! I think this is where I might be at, especially since surgery is NOT a realistic possibility for me, unless I win a lottery. IDK maybe I should have surgery on my inner thighs and knees, and just be done with my body issues. I can't see paying $8000 out of pocket for that; I'd have to do some kind of credit or financing option, and I do NOT want to take on any debt, especially for something like this.
But I might be better served by looking at my next goal as a "remodeling" project, rather than a numbers game. I'm already brainstorming what this might mean, and for starters, I think it might mean only weighing in 1x a month. I think that would be OK and doable. IDK I'm going to think about this. I'm rather *excited* about this!!!
Progress as of today: 62.5 lbs lost so far, only -12.5 lbs to go!
I could have gone into work early today, but instead, I am taking some time for myself by reading and posting here.
I really need this weekend to re-charge. My mood and my attitude have been down in the dumps this week. We change the clocks here this weekend; I am so looking forward to getting an extra hour of sleep. I really NEED to make an EFFORT to take advantage of that. In the past, I've squandered that extra hour by staying up reading or watching TV. So I'm going to try very hard to maybe even go to bed a little earlier than usual.
I am bracing for a weight gain this week. Although I've done better with food, I've been using my wedding band as a gage, and every morning this week, it's felt tighter rather than looser.
PS Comment to Graindart: If you hadn't mentioned this in your own entry, I might not have taken the time to look at my own progress chart. It *IS* rather nice to see my chart, with a gentle slope downward. Every pound lost is truly a batte won at this point.
Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!
the extra hr i look forward to also.
sleeping TONS now. and it feels good.
I "slept in" this morning until 6:55am and woke up with a headache. Not sure if it's caffeine related (because I drank my 1st cup of coffee at 7am rather than at 5am) or sinuses or what.
I'll have to check into the FB thing. I'm sorry about that, I too am not sure what happened.
Just writing to document that SOMEONE AT WORK IS EATING MY CHEESE STICKS!
I have a package of those individually wrapped cheese sticks (string cheese, I guess) for protein snacks. At first, I thought, wow, I've been eating a lot of cheese...? But yesterday, there were only 3 sticks left, and I know that on Monday, when I took one, I left 7 of them in the package.
My boss thought that was so funny. What these people don't realize is that I depend on this food, sometimes, for emergency back-ups. Like yesterday, lunch was kind of lame, but I told myself that I had cheese sticks to back me up, if lunch wouldn't hold me. It was the same thing with the frozen veggie burger that someone threw out.
So not only was yesterday emotionally difficult, and then occupationally difficult -- everyone wanted to argue about everything, but then I had to deal with my food issue as well. What the heck?
I think days like yesterday are another sign from Above that I have to get my things in order and move on.
Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!
my body notices 2lbs (actual pounds) of fat added...so i'll be working on eating less as my exercise cannot be shifted too much more as i fit in what i can already. :)
with the eating, remember, a little change is all you need.
for me, i know why...too many sweets added throughout the workdays.
Checking in, but not too much to say...
Monday I was very sad, still, so I did not post. Yesterday... what the heck happened to yesterday...
I've been struggling with the eating part, feeling that I am eating too much... yet I am not feeling (over) stuffed. Maybe it's my food choices? This is really bothering me.
I suspect, as Horn (?) suggested, that this could all be related to the change in seasons. If so, then next week, when we change the clocks back, may be another difficult adjustment -- on top of all the other changes I've had to cope with these past couple of weeks.
Today is Halloween, but I'm already looking ahead to Christmas. Maybe that's a good sign :)
Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!
I find that when I am more active on weekends, I eat more. Wow, last night, did I ever go off plan. My daughter and I had fun carving up our 2 pumpkins, and I roasted the seeds. Way too salt, but that didn't stop me from eating way too many! While I had those, I helped myself to several slices of salami. Problem was that I had an early dinner, I think, which was because my lumch was too light. I'm hoping that the salt will work itself out.
I do enjoy being more active. The weather is perfect for me for walking: cloudy, colder, maybe a little windy.
Contemplating what to do about weight training, inspired by Happy and her love of yoga, I thought that maybe I would do just the push-ups, planks (if my back can handle it), and some mild resistance & balance exercises. I might make this a November goal, I think, to give me some more time to make it through this week... or at least through Monday.
I went to the library yesterday - my "go to" place to cheer myself up - and checked out a book that I am really enjoying. Another task that I accomplished yesterday - without the kids' help - was chopping up the last big branch from the storms we had a month ago. Chopping wood is the best form of therapy, I think. Sadness, anger, frustration -- all of it can come out with the swing of the axe.
This week is Halloween. I probably bought too much candy. I know that I don't have to be tempted though because I can get sugar-free candy if I feel that I'm craving something sweet. I'm tempted to try some keto baking but that might not be a good idea this weekend, as I am feeling vulnerable, emotionally. The point isn't necessarily to eat atlernatives but rather, not to eat, period.
EVENING EDIT: Rather than doing some keto baking or anything to do with food, I worked on cleaning and re-organizing litter boxes, now that we are down to just one cat. I also realzed that I needed to clean up kitty's food dish, since she was on special food for her kidney condition. I just finished doing that as welll; the food dish contraption is drying in the kitchen. So now she really is gone.
I went for a short walk after dinner. I'm actually glad to be going to work tomorrow, because it will help me get "back on track". I feel like this weekend was way out of control with eating and choices. Logically, I do not think this is so, with the one exception of those roasted, salty pumpkin seeds. But it FEELS that I ate too much, too bad all weekend. Some of this is hormones. I know, though, that being at work, as much as I do not like being there, will help.
Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!
The book I'm reading is "The Best Land under Heaven" about the Donner party trekking out to California. I find true-life stories about traveling adventures gone wrong to be fascinating. This is not the first book that I've read about the Donners, but it's been a while.
also, nice job going out for you walk too! When i exercise more, I also do get hungrier too!
Also, I have also been eating tons last week as it was hormonal stuff going on...
there's somethign good about the keto stuff, the high fat and low sugar tends to "stick to you" and you can be satisfied more easily, i think, from less.
i'd say it's best to have a dessert iwth a coffee or unsweetened almond milk or something, to fill your stomach.
some of my keto recipes are good, some were not as good.
one of mine, a simple one of 4 ingredients, my coworkers loved. it was only cocoa powder, coconut oil, erythritol sweetener and ...why can't i remember?...eggs.
i doubt they'll like what i made this weekend - the pumpkin pie cream cheese fat bombs / and the avocado brownies.
however i'll say i do like the avocado brownies because they are so moist. so i'll eat them no worries for breakfast.
Using the protein bars for breakfast was successful. That is probably the only successful thing that happened this week.
I took a look back at my written log for the Ironman scale - the one that measures fat%, water %, muscle %, and bone density. It's telling me that I've lost mostly muscle, which makes sense since I haven't been doing weights for about 3 weeks. So what do I do? Do I start weights up again and gain weight? (Don't talk to me about good weight versus bad weight, muscles weighs more than fat, blah blah blah. It's all about the numbers.) If I do start up weights, do I keep it light and low? Or focus on the heavier weights? Maybe just push-ups and planks for something different?
In order to cheer myself up at work, I started listening to Christmas music on my computer. I keep the volume low, with my speakers at around 25 9out of 100) -- but of course, you know my co-workers: critical comments abound.
In my efforts to downsize and pack to move - which now isn't happening for another few years - I do not have the usual Halloween decorations this year. I'm kind of sad about that, but decided to get 2 more pumpkins to carve, for a total of 3. Each one can go in a flower pot that I have in the front yard. I'm hoping that carving pumpkins will help cheer me up a little bit.
Monday, the daughter is driving out to Iowa to meet up with the Boyfriend (who is no longer the Boyfriend, I guess), to get some personal property and maybe talk things out in person. This was the weekend he was supposed to be here for a visit. I'm still grieving, I guess.
Progress as of today: 61 lbs lost so far, only -11 lbs to go!
will you please post a photo of your carved pumpkins!
i wonder if she really has much at his place...hmmm...
Taking a little time for myself before I leave for work, rather than getting to work early...
I'm so sad. My daughter seems to have broken up with her boyfriend, so he will not be visiting us this weekend. I understand why she's breaking up, but I'm just so sad for both of them, individually. He is such a nice young man, if somewhat unambitious. They are both young though, so ... maybe it wasn't meant to be. There is another young man that has been in my daughter's life since they were in 6th grade together, and I would be OK if that came to fruition, but for now, they are just friends. He's in college in Iowa and she's here trying to figure out her next step.
Is it possible to accept something on a logical level, and yet feel a lot of grief and sadness on an emotional level?
This month has had way too much sadness in it for little Donkey....
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
My friend type relationship with R has plunged for the worst. Without going into detail bc it's just so stupid a situation, he threw a very light package at my feet because i didn't leave his apt lobby fast enough bc he wanted to speak with someone and i didn't oblige his command to get outta there...public humiliation and embarrassment aren't acceptable. this is one of the reasons i cannot date him. He's extremely unpredictable and i think he's bipolar. either way, i'm done with him for the time being....as it upset me so much that he'd ever embarrass me, in public, in front of other people. not acceptable behavior. and i'm embarrassed.
I know your daughter is really young and just starting out her real adult life...you, J donk, are a person that actually feels others' feelings...you understand people on a really deep level, more than the avg person i think! so, let your daughter continue and move forward, please don't be too sad....life has to have ups and downs so we understand and live a little...time to learn from relationships to improve on them in the future and learn what we want in them. so, your daughter is living life i'd say :) if anything, maybe i can suggest you smile about it...because you see your daughter moving forward, making decisions, changing :)
Bless you, J donk, for your deep connection emotionally to people. I think you really do have a gift! :)
Along similar lines of what happened to you, she had a change of heart when they had an argument about a month ago.
Taking a little time for myself this morning to write in DD...
I ended up going to work yesterday afternoon from abou 1:30p to 5:15p. My co-worker did a fabulous job of keeping up, although I did find a few things that she hadn't followed through on. Had I been gone for longer, they would have popped up though. So I am completely caught up.
The final push to go to work yesterday was that my husband was in a lot of pain and very crabby with everyone. He was snapping at everyone and throwing tantrums and yelling. After he finally snapped at the last person in the house, I said, "Are you in a lot of pain today?" and when he admitted it, then everything made sense (unfortunately).
So today starts a short-term experiment with having protein bars for breakfast. I bought a box of Quest bars in chocolate fudge brownie, which was rather expensive, if I do say so. I thought I might not have enough, though, for both myself and husband (if he should happen to get desperately hungry, which he did), so I bought a box of peanut butter chocolate crunch variety, from Aldi. They don't have a brand name -- Evolution, maybe they're called? IDK... The Quest ones were awful - you could totally tell they were sugar free, but my husband, who is picky about sugar free, thought they were good. He must have been VERY hungry. I have one bar left.
I thought the peanut butter ones were better, and they were cheaper too.
I usually have 2 breakfasts: one at 9am and one at 10:45a or 11am. Lunch is usually at 1pm at my desk, after my walk. Snack at 3pm.
I didn't weigh in when I returned from Vegas (because it wasn't Saturday), so I won't have a numbers measurement of success, but this is experiment isn't really about numbers, but rather finding a breakfast that works for me. I DO NOT LIKE "fake" food, and since these are kind of expensive, I don't see this as being a long-term thing, but let's see how they work for a week. :)
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
i like many bars too...i find they hit the spot at certain times of day :)
i hate fake food too..it's gotta taste good / real
most bars i ate are more natural than other protein brands...like my atkins bar of coconut is mostly the coconut! :)
Oh how nice it is to get up in the morning and exercise! How I missed my bike 
But I do not regret my little vacation, because it was time for a break from the routine, for sure.
How nice it was to put collagen in my morning coffee! Last night, I was really looking forward to that this morning. However, unless I see significant improvement in my hair, I will not buy another cannister of this stuff. Just not my thing...
I'm going to finish unpacking, fold laundry, pay bills, and then try to get out there and pick up branches for tomorrow's garbage/yard-waste pick-up. I still want to get some kind of walk in today, if I can. Chilly but sunny and clear out.
Athough I have to run this by Mr. Donkey, I've decided that if we are going to move out to the Vegas area to be closer to family, we should take a trip out there in the summer to see if either of us can tolerate the heat. Chicago summers are generally hot and HUMID and very buggy, which is not good for my husband's medical condition -- but I do not know if I could stand the temperatures that they have out there in the summer, like that. Also, I think I would really miss Midwestern winters, even if they are miserable.
On the plus side to my plan, by then, my brother might have his swimming pool installed. Double win for Donkey. The problem with this plan is that July/August is super busy for real estate, so taking ANY time off puts me hopelessly behind.
If I win the Power Ball or Mega Millions lottery though, this is all moot (LOL)...
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
Sounds like that would be a big move for you guys, and kind of exciting! If you make the decision to move, I know you will be able to work through the obstacles :)
it's not my thing either with the collagen...i never got hooked. i once made sugar free jells...they were good! but i sorta ruined the pot!
i hope you got a walk in!?
well, you can take a WEEK off maybe early in the season...right before you get busy...or with time still to catch up!? you gotta enjoy the swimming pool!
my office all put in the for lotto!
I'm home - and so happy to be home! Even though Vegas was nice & warm and I came home to cold and windy. I couldn't wait to get back to eating vegetables - LOTS of vegetables like I like to eat them. And definitely needed to get back on my exercise bike. SO tired of eating out, eating big breakfasts, and so tired of spending large portions of time just SITTING. For example, my mom drove me to do something somewhere, and the ride was an hour and a half! My poor Fitbit kept notifying me that it's time to move, and I just wasn't in a position to do so, which in turn kind of made me a little said at each 10-minutes-to-the-hour until 7pm when the Fitbit notifications turn off. I did get some walking in, and a great hike up Mount Charleston, but it's not the same thing as being consistently active throughout the day.
As I was packing last night, I said to myself, "I can't wait to get home and lose weight!"
I took tomorrow off too, but I'm thinking I might go in around 1pm to use the afternoon to catch up on my files, which would make Tuesday a real work day, i.e. back on track. I have a little unpacking left to do and some bill-paying. I want to get back into my exercise routine and maybe go for a morning walk, before I go back to work.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
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This is inspiring...…..I too am concerned with loose skin...and I will not be having skin removal surgery....but I also plan on doing the best I can with just toning exercises. I am a firm believer in...when in a rut...stop digging...climb out of that rut and start something new...…...whatever is inspiring will overshadow everything else....I love that you are inspired.....if frequent weigh ins are upsetting...I wouldn't weigh in ( actually I wait until my clothes fit differently)…..you will know by your clothes....I love the idea of focusing on something else......actually sounds like fun!
I've known that I need something else to focus on as a goal, but just didn't know what it was. This "remodeling project" perspective is, I think, the answer. :)
happy-1 on 11/03/2018:
Supposedly if you really work your legs on squats you naturally boost hgh levels and your bodr reabsorbs extra skin
I did a Google, and it seems as though variations on squatting - squats, plies, with/without weights - seems to be highly recommended. I could do this while watching TV (LOL) ;)
Horn_of_plenty on 11/05/2018:
What that lady said is sooo logical! and so good to hear indeed! i'm so glad she's first working on her health, the muscles underneath the loose skin, and her emotinonal / mind / mental balance over the weight loss. she's so smart to not jump on that, but to build herself up from the inside first.
it takes so long to learn to "fit" your new body...and surgery i agree with her...is when she's already more comfortable with herself in and out. :) love it!