Yesterday, work was awful. I cannot work productively with Male Coworker because I'm afraid to go anywhere near his desk. So I make changes in the computer but not on the physical file, and if it's not on the file, Male doesn't look any further.
I felt very bad and anxious all night about yesterday's incident, but this morning, I realized that this is Fate telling me to get up off my butt, and get some difficult administrative things done, which I've been putting off - because they are painful to face and deal with - to clean up and sharpen my portfolio, so that I can feel that I would have the freedom to look for other employment, and not feel that nobody else would ever hire me, so I'm stuck at this job forever, because I am not good enough for anything else.
I've learned that if I ignore these hints from Fate, they end up happening anyway, but not in a good way. There is something to be said about the doctrine of pre-destinstion.
Did alright with food and exercise yesterday. Daughter finished Oreo dessert Wednesday night. THANK YOU!!!
Oh I forgot the most important thing that happened at work yesterday: Queen Bee announced that she's going on another diet! Yet another diet - this one is keto for 2-3 months. (What??)
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
Accessing DD through my phone, so my access is limited as far as convenience in commenting on other entries. Please know that I'm reading all updates and cheering you all on.
I had to log in though to tell you that the hostile work environment is really helping me stick to better eating. Today, Queen Bee & Male Coworker (who is not talking to me this week) took the girl who makes a million mistakes in every file she touches out to Panda Express for lunch. Didn't mention it, just slammed the door on the way out. Saved a bunch of calories for myself.
Then, we had cheesecake for Associate Attorney who had a birthday today. Male Coworker and Queen Bee deliberately did not attend, out of animosity. Had a few bites of cheesecake, excused myself, and threw away the rest. So rude of them... I'm so sick of this toxic work environment that has come about. The other lady who was excluded said, "I've never worked in a place where everyone was so angry."
Well, anger is great for weight loss. That's all I can say.
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
Good job on weathering the storm without turning to food for "comfort".
also, nice job on taking a taste of the cheesecake...best way to keep calories low is to allow for tastes! if you have it with coffee, your stomach will be satisfied too...or water :)
nice job!
Lost power at home right before I got home, so dinner was salad and cold cuts again. Drama is high at work again, so it's been easier to stick to lower calories. I was excluded from an office cookout, because the chef isn't talking to me this week. Whatever.
Right now, though, I feel like asking husband if he would split the last of Oreo ice cream dish that's still out in the freezer. It's probably melting, you know, and should be eaten.
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
good idea to split it.
This week's focus is on food and intake. Last night, as I was getting my jammies on, I felt, strongly, that I ate too much over the weekend. It was a munchie weekend.
So my focus is on portions and making the most optimal nutritional choices.
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
I realize that I am sabotaging my own romantic life by eating foods (or too much of a food) that makes my stomach feel bloated, heavy, and upset. I will be tossing the remainder of the oreo ice cream dessert. There are healthier treat options that I can choose for myself.
MIDDAY EDIT: I'm getting kind of ticked off: when I make entries or comments at DD, and I autocorrect spelling errors, the correction doesn't go through when I submit. I'm rather honked off by this, so please know that if I type something very unusual as a comment or entry, it's my **** phone.
I've been fighting the munchies today. Took a brief afternoon walk with my daughter around the neighborhood to scope out 2 more houses that just came on the market this weekend. I told my husband yesterday that I'm kind of sad that it's not us moving, but what I am really feeling is the urge for something to look forward to, rather than the same old hum-drum. I think the change in season has something to do with this hum-drum too. And munching certainly won't help fix this feeling either.
I'm done with cardio today, and my plan is to pick up the dumbbells for something brief with the upper body - biceps and shoulders probably.
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
All i know is one thing: when you are hungry, try to make it a healthy meal. Try not to eat ice cream like for a meal. but also on the same thinking, i have learned that if i want a snack or treat, to eat it INSTEAD of a meal or as a snack, but not after a meal...because the calroies just add up to too much in one sitting...for me, it's best to separate the two if you know what i mean?
I thought for sure I'd have bathroom problems this morning, but I didn't.
I learned a LOT with this lesson, believe me.
I FINALLY DID IT: reached the 60 pound weight-loss mark! Even if it was just for a day, an hour, a minute -- a "snapshot in time" - I did it! I really think that what did it was having a few meals that were meatless, i.e. vegetables. Fats are OK: salad dressing, cheese (as a condiment), butter.
I'm still undecided on what changes to make to my exercise routine for autumn/October. I had considered doing a Fall routine/challenge for myself, but missed Day 1. I know it's not too late to get started -- ANY DAY can be Day 1 -- but I have nothing in mind.
As I commented in a few entries this morning, cooler weather has settled in. Mentally, I need to make the switch to my cooler weather wardrobe, which means wearing clothes that actually fit me properly, rather than loose-fitting bottoms.
In addition to the never-ending laundry, I will go to the library today. I just finished the book I was reading last night. I was thinking, "Well, what will I read next?" but checked into my email this morning and saw that the library has my next "hold" book in, so I will go pick that up and get started.
I just realized that although I'm contemplating changes in my routine - maybe my menus, too, to incorporate more vegetable-centered meals - the biggest challenge ahead for me is going to be mostly mental: motivation, determination, follow-through, etc.
Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!
i love your other thoughts regarding goals! 100% on the same path as you and supporting you.
It can take time to make changes and think what they need to be?
Like my home workout, it's def starting to take speed now. I did it once on Friday night even being home late and starting ultra late, i was able to be here and home when i was done...it was so much simpler than going out to work out.
I may be working out at home all this week until Monday, actually. Just because it's so convenient and makes it easier to fit cardio in, which i'm doing...it's staying at the same level, so like you, i will have to keep working on it!
I did not sleep well last night. The wind woke me up, and I kept thinking that I heard Mr. Donkey walking around downstairs with his cane... but he was already in bed.
Did well - I think - with eating out at lunch with the boss and the realtor, but oh my word, it definitely cut into my activity and step-count (Fitbit).
Grateful that it's Friday and I will have the weekend to relax and recharge.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
I read your post from Thursday; sounds like you are going through some things with hubby lately, sorry to hear. It's unfortunate when your partner doesn't want the same things you do - I sure hope he can find it in himself to support you as you support him with whatever choices he makes in life. Maybe you guys can find a way to make the love life feel a little better, you never know what kinds of great ideas might come from a good talk, letting each other know what you're looking for.
Have a fantastic Friday, Donkey. It's your time.
i feel you on being out longer than you want to regarding work...today i chose a stupid choice. my coworkers wanted to play a trick on another coworker all in good fun. they were seriously there 40 min late and i stayed around watching just to see the creative ideas my coworker was doing with simple art...i did it because it was interesting to watch....but i left 40 min late. i didn't learn much, but i cannot say i didn't learn anything...it's just difficult to do my own thing after...but worked quite well because Ricky picked me up from the train (i didn't need the bus), we stopped at convenience store for simple snack and caffeine, i drink some on way home and the rest at home, and he stayed over during most of my workout! success!
DISCLAIMER: Very personal details, please skip if you are sensitive or easily offended.
For most of the day yesterday (Wednesday), I had zilch motivation, but stuck to my program because that's the difference between success and slide-back.
My husband made baked mostaccoli last night, so I stuck to vegetables instead. Kind of easy to do because I wasn't very hungry - too much raw broccoli eaten at work. So another dinner this week with no meat - GOOD!
I was quite frustrated with my husband. He did almost no activity yesterday, which is not good for his back with his AS. He needs to drop about 50 pounds, but he's not even trying any more. How can I say this? Two heaping plates full of mostaccoli at dinner, no exercise. So you might think that his weight and his health are his issue, but this affects our marriage too. Romance can be difficult when there's 50 pounds of gut between us, if you know what I mean. I've told him this. Doesn't matter. Then he gets mad when I'm not interested. Well, sorry if I don't feel like stressing out my hips and back to accommodate your fat. It hurts!!!
Moving on... I ran out of work to do yesterday, which was nice. Had I left early, I would have gone to the animal shelter to look at cats up for adoption... and probably walked out with one, which is not a good thing to do right now.
Today, my boss and I are meeting up with a realtor for lunch to make sure our working relationship is ok. She's had a couple of really rough clients lately, which sometimes seems like we're not doing our job. I will plan my menu choice accordingly.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
If i was told to lose 50lbs, i might freak out first. It's a lot of weight. Perhaps, if he needs to lose, he should just concentrate on 5 lbs...try to lose 5lbs...and go from there, i think he should cut his weight loss goal to a much smaller increment - that's if he even wants to....like the two other comments say...
with your husband, feel free to share your concerns, but i wouldn't mention the "50#" often, possibly invite him to ride the bike while you lift weights...you may have to "invite him" and help him...but don't try so hard if he doesn't...save your energy...just try this approach is my suggestion.
it sounds like he needs some "external motivation," like yourself, outside of him...
Taking the morning off to take kitty to the vet for a check-up. Then, up to the county office to straighten out my daughter's voter registration. Nice to have a morning off, although I'll probably return to an email nightmare when I get bak to the office. *sigh* My heart already feels heavy...
I'm back on track. Last night, I had no meat for dinner. Fruit, vegetables, cheese, salad dressing. Felt full and satisfied.
Autumn begins this week. I'm thinking of changing up my routine, both morning and night. I might not get as many fitbit activity steps with the new routine, but I'm thinking along the lines of being more efficient or effective with the time I do put in. I haven't come up with a new plan yet, as to what would change, but staying to give this serious consideration.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
i find that as long as the meal at least has some healthy fat, yes, it is satisfying. nice job on your dinner!
i am also making changes with this season. i ordered a warmer down comforter for this year online and also just bought a daylight alarm clock that mimics a rising sun and also nature sounds to wake up....i will enjoy getting up when the room is bright on workdays. i think it could be very helpful for people with seasonal disorder or anxiety or depression...the dayight alarm clock.
I'm taking the day off to go dirt biking and won't think of work once, until we're headed back in the afternoon and get back into cellular signals again. That's when my phone typically starts buzzing and beeping with all of the emails, voicemails, texts, etc. Love getting away, but hate coming back to real life.
So after my wonderful weigh-in yesterday, what do I do? Begin the DEEP END CONFESSIONAL:
A few weeks ago, I made an Oreo ice cream dessert dish to help consolidate and get rid of the 4 half-empty vanilla ice cream containers in our freezer. (I kid you not.) This was a tough week, and I told myself that if I stuck to my program, that after weigh-in on Saturday, I could have a piece of the ice cream dessert. Yes, Donkey rewarding herself with food -- STILL. Not often, but STILL. You know what I'm saying?
Who is to say if I would have had a slice if weigh-in had been bad -- I think I still would have had a slice, because I'm learning to actually follow through on rewards I promise to myself (I'm really mean to myself in that way) - so I had a slice. A LARGE slice. OK, TWO SLICES, because the slice I had cut broke into the slice next to it unevenly and I couldn't let that uneven slice just sit there in the pan, could I?
Thankfully there are only 4 slices left, and the kids should finish that off this week - just in time for the cooler weather to come in on Thursday....
Anyway, so that was done and over, but then what happens? Husband and I were alone for dinner, and I kind of wanted a date night, and he didn't feel like cooking for 2. And neither one of us wanted leftovers - LOL - so we went to a local pizza place. Ordered fried cheese curds, fried pickle slices, and a medium pizza with sausage, onions, green peppers, and mushrooms. I was able to control myself with the cheese curds, but there were way too many fried pickles, and let's just say that I finished what husband didn't eat. Oh I could tell that they were way too salty, but for some reason, I felt compelled to eat them all. Then came the pizza, which is round, but cut into squares. Had the 4 corner slices. I was way full after that, almost to the point of discomfort, but not quite there. I did take a couple of Tums right before bed to help. It would have been better if I had not eaten so much and not felt so full after dinner, because then I didn't really feel like doing much of anything else. Came home, watched TV, went to sleep.
Oh boy, did I pay for yesterday this morning. Stomach was quite upset. I waited for my stomach to settle down before deciding whether or not to have breakfast, which I ended up having at around 10am - after a long session on the exercise bike (while I watch the morning news shows) and some weigh training. I had not done weights Friday or Saturday, so it was time to get back into the groove.
I am writing about this because I want to remember this day, as I probably would have done things differently to spare myself the discomfort of last night and this morning. But overall, as I am in maintenance mode, I think it's OK to have a day like this every once in a while.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
All that to say, I think your splurge was still much more controlled than mine would've been. And if it only happens once every week or two, I highly doubt it would have any effect at all.
yeah, i agree with your last sentence! no need to punish yourself at all.
my stomach might be upset too after the fried food.
it's also because you do not really eat that way anymore....and you are more sensitive to when you eat in a way you aren't used to anymore. i also wouldn't enjoy a whole big meal of fried things and pizza....i would go back to craving veggies, thankfully.
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If male coworker is such a J*erk...yes, good idea to not go by him too much! good job with that...
you always do good work so i don't know if you should leave or considering leaving your job...you seem to always leave due to politics...but you always do good work...
LOL...2-3 months keto before Christmas...she'll be even fatter by January 2019...once she goes off keto and into the holidays.
I can say from experience that once you come off of keto, the pounds come back VERY quickly. This happened to me, coming off of South Beach Diet, which became very difficult for me to stick to during the cold, Midwestern months. There's a reason why it's called "South Beach" -- fresh fruits & vegetables and fish are much easier to come by in Florida, versus Chicago.
You're absolutely right that I tend to leave jobs due to emotional reasons, like stress, long commute, conflicts, rather than the work itself, although my last move was because I knew I really wanted to do real estate and contracts, and not litigation. I'm just not cut out for the agony of litigation.
Still, I'd like to have options for myself, maybe not for now, but in the future - say, for example, if we move to Las Vegas, where real estate procedure is completely different. And I think cleaning up these "administrative" things will help me make a transition if/when necessary.
happy-1 on 10/01/2018:
Hugs. Good job. Forget sink and swim... Get ready to float.