Day 88:
Last night's last Stress Reduction yoga session was slow yoga, where we assumed mostly standing positions and held them for about 45 seconds. I loved this, as it's standing, but slow enough to give me time to make adjustments and then breathe and enjoy the pose. The fast yoga is too fast for me.
Two things:
Last night was the teacher's last night. Becky will no longer teach adults, nor during the week. She will continue teaching the kids' classes on Sunday, but her schedule was getting too hectic to continue teaching during the week. This is sad because I really like her teaching style. She has a very soothing voice.
Secondly, on Thursday, rather than subject myself to fast yoga and all the anxiety that goes along with that, I will go to Jean's Yin yoga class at 6p, instead of vinyasa at 7p.
Got into a group texting argument with my mother and brother last night. My brother thought that my upset was directed at him but actually I'm upset with my mom. Would it be too much that she acknowledge my hurt, rather than make excuses for someone else's behavior?
Anyway, just another reminder to me that I need boundaries and distance between myself and toxic people in my life.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Day 87: Peace be with you.
The restorative-yin yoga class I went to last night was wonderful. It seemed to have worked out the back issues I've been having since last Tuesday. I don't often like to use props to assist in the poses (for any class), but last night, I embraced the props (mentally embraced, meaning, I was open to accepting of using props), and wow!
Tonight is the last Stress Reduction yoga class. It's supposed to be a more active practice tonight, more flow and movement. I'm looking forward to it. Becky isn't the best teacher, but I just love the way she teaches. I wonder what she'll teach next!
I'm looking forward to continuing my yoga journey into 2020. I've already signed up for the free classes through the library. I'm reevaluating if I want to pursue the faster, more athletic vinyasa yoga (Thursday nights), or maybe I just want to stay with a slower yin practice. What do I want of my practice?
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
After being off yoga a few days, it sounds like you are back in the groove. You have so many lovely yoga options, I love it!!!
I'm seeking out meditation now. I have an app, paid $40 for it since it was recommended to me by my therapist. I figure i'll try to use it before bed and some nights / weekends at home. it's called CALM.
BTW if you get sudden urges to go down to Florida, that's more of our psychic connection!...
Vinyasa challenges me, but it scares me too, and it usually requires me to psyche myself up to go. I just don't move that fast (yet) and I'm not that flexible (yet) to do a lot of the moves properly. In the other hand, there's no improvement without effort. Can't get better if I don't do the work.
Day 86: thanks be to God
Woke up late, so everything is behind. Big cat fight in my room last night had me mopping up the floor at 10p.
When I woke up, I had difficulty determining what day it was, and whether I had to actually get up or not. Unfortunately, it's not Sunday, so I got up but it was already later than is comfortable.
Thank goodness the boss comes in late on Mondays because he has cardiac rehab. He says he can't wait to stop working out...
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
and hopefully tonight was relaxing for you.
your boss should continue to work out lol...he sounds a lot different than me and you :)
Oh, I meant to tell you, son is in the Air Force :) It's ok if you get it mixed up. I'm so proud of him for serving our country.
Day 85:
I did really well yesterday until the nighttime snacking took over. So I was a little bloated this morning. Still weighed in but I feel that it's a little inflated because of the extra cheese (salty) and nuts I ate last night. So.... I will not update my weight, but pretty much staying the same.
I just realized though that I have an annual doctor's exam coming up soon, I think January, so I should probably work on the weight numbers a little bit, even though I'm maintaining.
I did a nice session of yoga last night at home. The "Yin" yoga isn't available for free, so I did "Restorative", which seemed to me to be a Yin yoga session. Some of the poses were very challenging, and I opted not to do them because of my back. This is HUGE for me, to recognize and respect the limits of my body. I felt good afterwards, and my back feels good this morning.
I forgot that we were going to see the Christmas pagent that Male Co-Worker is directing at his church today. Also didn't realize that my daughter had to work today, so she won't be able to go. After the play, husband and I will go out to breakfast if he wants to, as I promised him this as incentive to go. (We're all trying to support one another here.) I'd rather not eat out yet again, but this typically happens in December, so I'll roll with it.
So I could not attend Yin Yoga at the studio this morning. However, the owner is having a "pop-up" class tomorrow night from 6:30p-7:30p. I want to see if my daughter would like to go with me to this, since she has the day off, and I haven't really seen her at all this weekend. It's $10, which is very reasonable.
This reminds me - one of our local animal shelters is having a yoga fundraiser: Puppies & Yoga. Oh I think I really want to go to to this! It's $20 for 50 minutes of yoga, which is kind of on the OUCH side. I know it's for charity.... Oh the temptation!
I did not work out with weights yesterday, as I had planned, because I was still hesitant to test my back. However, I will try to get this in today.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Nice job listening to your body and not "overdoing the restorative yoga." it seems you used the yoga to help you just right.
The charity yoga session sounds really nice, though a little pricey it's still a fair deal i'd say.
let us know if you got to the weights. and have fun today at the pagent.
I did shoulders (and other stuff), and then did restorative yoga later in that really stretched out the shoulders. My arms felt worked out after that!
Day 84: Peace be with you.
My plan is to do yin yoga at home, using the Downward Dog app. Just holding of poses to get a nice stretch is what I need right now.
Probably pushed myself too hard this morning by mopping up the floors. Our Sick Kitty had made a mess of the floors, and this needed to be cleaned, in my opinion Mopping is one of those activities that my back does NOT like - probably because it's an unbalanced action. It's a repeated, prolonged twist at the waist that is only one side. (I can't really mop with my left side leading - I've tried.)
No yoga studio today. As I mentioned, spending time with my family is my #1 priority right now, and with daughter having to work today at noon, I am home for whatever few minutes I get to spend with her this morning, before she leaves.
I'd like to go to a tea shop in a nearby town today, but I'm not sure we'll get to it. I have to check in with husband to see what tea gifts he already purchased for daughter. I hate crowds.
I also have to go to Walmart - probably later tonight to avoid big crowds - to get a gift for the office Christmas party on Friday, plus I want to get little gifts for my office peeps (except Queen Bee). I'm thinking nice gel pens for Male Co-Worker. Maybe some roll-on aromatherapy for Mistakes Girl and Nice Lady.
So my son has to start all over again with his training, because they have determined that the field he has been training for is just not the right fit. We will find out AFTER Christmas what job he will start training for. He also says that because of a new job, he will have to re-pick where he gets stationed after he's done with training. He says he wants to go overseas, which I think is a wonderful thing for him to do, depending on the place he goes. Oh, I don't know if I could visit him in Korea.... Japan would be a real challenge for me too -- but I might be up to visiting him in other places.
My husband asked son if he was relieved, and he said in a way he is. I cannot express what a strong feeling I have in my heart, just knowing that this is the right thing to be happening. How many times have we been disappointed in life, only to find out 6 months later, Hey, it's a good thing that didn't happen! That's the kind of feeling I'm sensing right now.
Oh I forgot to weigh in this morning - I'll try to remember tomorrow morning! Part of this was that I slept in a bit. Tomorrow, if I want to go to the studio for early morning yin yoga, I won't be able to sleep in. Let's see what my back has to say about all of this.
One of the reasons I started to pursue the practice of yoga was to find a balance in my life. Isn't it ironic that, physically, the balancing poses are the hardest for me to do? Balancing on one foot/leg is such a struggle for me. I'm thinking that this is no co-incidence-- that is to say, that my physical imbalance is reflective of my internal imbalance of life.
I actually thought this week, Maybe these balancing poses aren't meant to be for me. I was so startled! I caught myself and said, "Well, maybe not, but that doesn't mean that you can't keep trying!" This idea was like a light bulb going off, realizing that my life has become a series of imbalanced: physically (hips, back), mentally (depression, anxiety), and spiritually (my ever-growing frustration and discontent, excessive crabbiness).
I want to remain focused on my mission: to seek a better balanced life. So yoga will continue...
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Is it wrong that I am so jealous of this??? I deeply wish someone would do that for me right now... figure out what I should be doing and would be good at, stop me from heading down the wrong path.
i am in 100% agreement about your son. i keep forgetting what branch he is in. either way, they've been testing folks for a long time, and, it's good he will have a branch to enter and something that is suitable for HIM. that's 100% great. it is. and it's a relief to know there is something for YOUR SON.
yes, remain focused and try those yoga poses :) xoxoxo
Day 83: feeling paralyzed by stress and sadness.
I did not go to yoga last night. I was debating up to the end of what was a sad, stressful day, only to receive the final bad news blow when we learned that our son has been set back again in his training. As this is his third setback, they may decide that he is not fit for this job and reassign him to another job. That would mean he would have to stay all over again with job training. So disappointing for him.
I've missed a few yoga opportunities recently. Missed Library Yin Yoga, missed Library Chair Yoga, missed Difficult Yoga...
My eating yesterday was not good. Succumbed to some chocolates and a couple of cookies at work. They are gone now. Not dwelling on this, but just being accountable.
Can I just put this out there, that I'm feeling incredibly frustrated that I'm spending all my time at a stupid, thankless job, dealing with stupid, petty drama, when I should be home taking care of my poor kitty, my home, my family...
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Do you think you are feeling extra stressed/sad because you haven't been able to vent through your yoga sessions? I find when I haven't been to the gym, I start to feel a lot more anxiety (which i'm feeling this week). We all need our vices in order to deal with life. I hope you are able to get back to a session soon.
In regards to the job, I too find the majority of my workdays to be thankless and stressful. I don't know what the answer here is - the easy one is to leave and do what makes you happy, but the action of that is often impossible to achieve. If we figure out a better solution, we'd better bottle it! Hugs.
I'm eager to get back to yoga, but very protective of my back. There is a Slow Flow class today that I was thinking about going to, but then I realized that it's during the 1 hour I'll get to see my daughter today, before she goes to work. Lately, I've been making this a priority.
I feel bad about missing classes, but then again, maybe not really.
I don't know if that sunk in with him, but I sense this so strongly, knowing that this is the right thing.
But they aren’t throwing him out to not have anything for work. Remind him that before this he didn’t have anything and now it’s just trying to find his groove and stick with it for the career path that’s stable as he continues. It’s all still new and not for him to give up on at all- tell your son - I recommend going with the flow and getting what is possible for him and not to put too much emphasis on what isn’t. To try his best and know there is something for him in this career and not give up and know it’s meant to be challenging!
Day 82:
I don't even know where to start. Stress Relief yoga was awful! I was not in the right frame of mind to do a restorative yoga session, and frankly, I think the teacher was not all that inspired either.
In the middle of it, I started having back spasms. I came home, took 2 Aleve, and went to bed. Yesterday, not many spasms, but my lower back ached. This morning, still dealing with difficulties, with a couple of small twitches and a tight left hamstring.
So debating if I should go to difficult yoga tonight. I know that if I don't go, there probably won't be any class, because I'm the only one that shows up. Plus, if they are changing the schedule or format in January, there are only 2 more classes of THIS class.
Still struggling with eating. I need all these codes at work to GO! NOW!
Big work drama between Associate Attorney and Queen Bee, even though Queen Bee isn't in the office! I thought AA was in the wrong, but my husband said, Why are you taking Queen's side in this??? So then I hated them both even more.
And the Boss doesn't want to work any more...Good grief!
Forget all of this. Forget calories, Fitbit steps, work drama, yoga drama, forget all of this.
I need to sit and be still, and just be.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
i hope you feel better soon. With time, you will.
Day 80: Intention: whatever happens, I know I have it in me to land on my feet and start walking forward again.
Yesterday, I decided to go low carb. Had oatmeal for breakfast, had a Subway sandwich for lunch. Dinner was pretty much keto, though. I thought I was doing more plant based choices, but looking back, I can see that this is not so.
Frustrated but not worried. I'll figure this out.
One of my first thoughts this morning was the realization that it's not Friday yet. Then I realized I have Stress Reduction yoga class tonight. Oh that inertia that Happy was taking about. How much easier it would be to stay home tonight.
But I will go, even if I have to give myself a little mental push. Tonight's class will be very slow and restorative. Very relaxing. Probably just what I need.
Today I feel a little more lifted. It will be a good day.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
Day 79:
The best part about today was that the bathrooms at work are working again, and we have running water. I had not realized how much this was stressing me out until I was preparing my lunch, because I had to prepare extra water bottles in case there was no water to drink.
But even with this good news, the day was a struggle. I'm not sure if it's Christmas that's got me down, or being out of focus with eating, or tired, or what, but today was just a down day. I'm just not feeling the Christmas spirit. My clothes felt too tight. I was feeling uncomfortable all day, and not just clothes, but in my body and in my thoughts and in my mood.
I think a big part of it is realizing that we may have to make a decision to put down Baby Kitty. She continues to improve every day, but the fungal infection hit her nervous system hard, and her eyes, I think, may not recover at all. We finished a complete week of medicine; the vet said to give it 1-2 more weeks, but even she said that we might have to face the possibility of a "quality of life" decision eventually.
Oh my...
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
I guess we'll take it one day at a time. Perhaps it would help me more not to look too far ahead.
I'm really sorry about your kitty. you have tried to help her as much as you could.
You are right about Kitty: we have done everything we can for her. The rest is out of our control, so best not to dwell that which I cannot control.
I hope the spirit of Christmas catches up with you soon.
Day 78: today I am aware of my blessings.
The breakfast was a good time, but husband was struggling with bathroom issues and we had to leave sooner than we might have otherwise. I had eggs, sausage, and fruit. Next year, I'm bringing more fruit and asking if we may donate the usage of our big coffee maker.
Did well with eating all day until after dinner. Then I had frozen fruit, walnuts, peanut butter, and finally some shredded cheese. Not a binge, just snacky munchie...
Did yoga at home with the phone app late yesterday afternoon. I have trouble figuring out some of the poses if I'm not facing my phone. But I finished the 30 minute session. Keep on practicing, keep on trying, keep on learning...
This month's TOM is really hard. Yesterday was difficult, and I'm not so sure I should go to yoga this morning... I could do another session at home, but I'd much rather go to the studio to practice... We'll see where I'm at after this morning's bike ride.
The studio is having a yoga retreat this afternoon, but I cannot attend it because husband and I are going to me an old movie at the theater (Meet Me in St.Louis - a special anniversary showing). Long story short, I made a big deal about this to husband, so he bought tickets, which made the decision about attending the yoga retreat moot. Oh well, the movie is the cheaper option. And with a heavy TOM, the retreat may not have been the best option, but I can never tell with this thing.
So frustrating to be at the mercy of one's uterus.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!
enjoy the movie!
lately, i'm snacky too...i think it's TOM also as i had that this week and now it's just about DONE! woohoo.
Funny about the sharks though ;-)
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no urges to go to florida, but would love warm weather now. ...either way it seems lately everyone here is on the same page regarding many thoughts and actions! even making sets of keys - i did it and so did Happy on maybe even the same day!
The CALM app is very good. it was on sale for $41 the other day, usually it's like $60 for the year. it's more than meditation - it has multiple features and seems easy to use. there's even bedtime stories! and new things are added daily to the app. so far i've used it twice, but 1 time was on train and i wasn't truly focused but it still had some variable relaxation help if i would have been able to focus on it but it was a new train route so i couldn't focus on the app..app was still nice though in terms of the voice narrating and the words and meaning. i'm sure it will be very easy for me to use it on weekends.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/18/2019:
Seems you have a boundary set regarding your mother and brother. at least you know the true story and how you feel and what's right and wrong. i hope you can just let it go with them, if possible, regarding the scenario...if it's possible / logical.
happy-1 on 12/18/2019:
I missed something... What did mom do?
bearcountrygg on 12/18/2019:
Sad for you that your favorite yoga instructor won't be there now.....yoga should be calm and enjoyable. Hopefully expectations of family will change...I think that happens in most all families....the old saying "you always hurt the ones you love" is so true. The ones we love are easier to hurt because we know them so well...and we know what will rile them. It gets easier to "walk on eggshells" around people....but it does create a distance.