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Donkey - Sunday Apr 17, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 143.5

Happy Easter!   I am glad that it is sunny with a few clouds (beautiful) and not SO chilly, but I would not call it warm by any means.  It's a good Easter morning.

I went to the gym, and the usual Elliptial Ladies weren't there today.  Gym was *just* starting to get busier when I left.  I have a load of cat laundry (Baby Kitty has a UTI) and I still have to fold and put away my own laundry.  I plan to do this in about an hour while watching Father Brown (a mystery show on PBS).  Daughter said she might like to go hiking today.  I do not know if Husband is up to this, but if he is, I hope he comes along too. 

 So yes, Son's car is back home. It's covered in a heavy dust, from the long road trip (on a full-length auto carrier -- carrying his car and 1 other pick-up truck, and that's it).  We have it in the garage, and sometime this week, it will get washed.  I still have not yet approached the car or sat in it.  Daughter sat in it for a while last night, I'm told. I think I would like to do the same, too.  

I felt a sense of peace, though, with the car home.  The only stuff left that hasn't been returned to us is Son's phone & computer guts, which were removed from the computer CPU case.  OK, whatever.  I felt a sense of peace, but I had very vivid, unpleasant dreams with Son in them.  Still, it was nice to have dreams with Son in them.  I suppose that dreams will be the only connection I have with him now.

Eating was not good yesterday.  Well, I take that back. I drank more water, which was good.  I did well with eating until after dinner.  Husband kind of wanted to be alone, after dealing with the car delivery, and I guess I did too.  So instead of drinking more water, or perhaps folding & putting away laundry, I decided to watch reruns of Columbo on TV and eat candy & granola.  Went to bed, with a body battery down to 19.  Had the dreams I wrote about...

It was so helpful to repot plants yesterday.  They all separated quite well & easily.  I realized, too, that I have too many plants for now.  I need to find a better way to organize them, perhaps with a multi-level plant stand or 2, Some of them need a good trimming too, which will help.  I didn't do any triming over the winter. 

And I think I will be ready for Zoom yoga in May.  I feel ... well, I won't say closure, because is that even possible?  But I do feel a sense of reconciliation., which I think is appropriate for this Easter.


Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 04/17/2022:
Hugs. That is intense!!!! You are doing a good job of being gentle with yourself and not getting too run down at bedtime.

bearcountrygg on 04/17/2022:
You are doing a very good job of handling all of this.......I know the car has been a concern and with possibly one last delivery....hopefully it will get easier. You might have found the best time to go to the gym but them again...with it being a holiday...it probably had to do with that. I wish I had your green thumb......you seem to know just how to take care of plants.....me...not so much...if plants would only tell me they need water or food...I think I would be fine with them...LOL

Maria7 on 04/17/2022:
One day at a time... You are doing the best you can in handling this and that is all anyone can do. I know it is not easy. Hugs to you!

horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2022:
Happy Easter! glad you made it to the gym, seriously, go you!

next, baby kitty...so this is a young cat that is always sick right? sorry..

that is nice to dream of your son and remember him that way. <3 i'm glad the car has been returned, as well.

like Bear and the others say; this is a difficult time for you and you are handling it as well as you can, i see. You are doing well.

Maybe plan to have more veggies at home and/or low cal options or plan to have more snacking in the evening...either way, you'll get thru this time and be able to refocus as time goes by and as the weather improves - making it easier for you to be outside.

Donkey on 04/18/2022:
Yes, Baby Kitty is the cat that has all of the health problems.

I agree that to have a supply of fruits and vegetables is a good idea. I need to redirect my thoughts to those, rather than other things in the pantry. Also, I should not be afraid (?) to heat up a bag of frozen vegetables. Or to boil up a couple of eggs. Much better choices than candy, chocolate, etc.

Donkey - Saturday Apr 16, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 143.5

I knew it would be a bad weigh-in.  Overdid the chocolate at work, and then came home and had 3 pieces of cake & ice cream for dessert.  But I think I'm kind of done with birthday cake & ice cream until the next birthday in July.  I do not think that we will get any cake & ice cream for Son's birthday on Monday.  

I did not want to start the day today.  I could not get myself out of bed until after 7am, even though I was awake shortly before 5am. Yes, I was very tired from last night (body battery was down to 8/100), but there was also some dread about today.  But eventually the day had to start.

We are expecting Son's car today.  This actually works out OK, because then I won't have to miss any work, and I will have the remainder of the weekend to process everything.  We talked about it yesterday and decided that the car will stay in the garage until we can get the title transferred, which will take the Secretary of State a few weeks to do. I am 99% certain we will sell it, but can't make any promises until it's here and I see it.

Speaking of cars, I had a very low, almost flat tire yesterday at work.  So not only was I exhausted, sad, foggy, tired, stressed, but then I had a tire to worry about.  Turns out that it was a cheap and easy repair.  I was able to pick up the car after work on the same day for under $50.  But it was like, "Lord, what else would You like me to carry?"

Anyway, I'm determined to get back on track.  One thing I've noticed BIG TIME is that I am not drinking enough water during the day.  I believe that this is a HUGE contributor to sugar cravings, overeating, etc.  Whenever the water is down, the weight is up.  So I'll start with that, a very easy step to take.  I can do that.

I am in the middle of 2 loads of laundry.  I plan to go to the gym for a quick cardio session.  I plan to repot some plants today, or at least try.  It's a container with like 7 different kinds of plants, that I want to separate into their own pots. I know it won't be easy, but I'd like to try to do this.

I may walk outside today; it's sunny, but chilly.  Not ideal.  And I walked over 3 miles yesterday during my lunch, so I'm good on the walking miles. I plan to work out legs today at home.

Progress as of today: 43 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/16/2022:
Glad your tire didn't go flat when you were driving it. Good you got it fixed for under $50. Will be thinking about you today with your Son's car coming. Take care.

Donkey on 04/17/2022:
(((hugs))) for both you and me

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2022:
It's a good thing that you noticed the tire before it really went flat....Thinking of you today as your sons car arrives......that timing was good....hope you can do some digging in the flower container....

Donkey on 04/17/2022:
YES!!! Very lucky!

horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2022:
with the pee; you could bring a small box to put in fridge, putyour name on it, and put your pees in it at work....you can bring the pee cup in a bag with you to the bathroom; as well,so you aren't walking around with a pee cup around the office.

if you don't want to take the day off, you don't have to.

Donkey on 04/17/2022:
I've decided that I will do it on a Sunday, so that I can take the jug to the lab on Monday - unless the instructions would indicate a better scenario. Also, I want to ask Mistakes Girl one or 2 more questions about how she managed it, before I start.

happy-1 on 04/17/2022:
There is always the tradition of driving someone’s truck to honor them…

Donkey - Friday Apr 15, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

What a mess...  And I ate too much cake last night, so I'm sure the scale will be very hostile this weigh-in.  I weighed in at 144 at the doctor's office.  Bleah...

So the doctor's appointment:  Essentially, more bloodwork and a 24-hour urine collection test. to confirm that my levels are high.  The doctor said that my previous blood panel results were askew but not consistent.  OK, I agree with getting more tests, but the urine testing will probably mean a day at home, because there's collection stuff to keep in the bathroom, and then the collection container (jug) that has to be refrigerated.  I'm not sure how everyone would feel about having a jug of pee in the lunchroom refrigerator.  And then I'd have be bringing the urine stuff up and down the stairs throughout the day.

Mistakes Girl had to do this, to test for pregnancy diabetes, and she said for sure to stay home.  I'm testing for calcium levels in the urine.  IDK, what do you all think?

The lab was way too busy, so I'll do the blood work on Son's birthday, which I'm taking off from work anyway, so I'll have all the time to wait my turn.  A pee test day would be another day off... And we think that Son's car will be arriving next week, too, so that would be more time off.  Not good, especially with Male Co-Worker taking a week's vacation next week.

When I got to work, I ran into the Replacement.  Young, very pretty.  No real estate experience, starting at 2 days a week to "see how it works out".  Well, I can tell you right now, that's not a good start.  It is REALLY hard to keep track when you are not at the office every day; I feel lost after taking one day off.  Imagine how it would feel to only come in Mondays and Thursdays.  Plus, it's hard to retain what you've learned by coming in only a couple of days a week.  Add to this that I don't think Mistakes Girl is a good trainer.  One should take steps when learning anything new.  Start out easy and slow, and build on that.  But they don't want me training anybody, so there you go.

 By the end of the workday, all I wanted to do was to drown myself in cake.  It was a really bad day for a lot of us.  Husband and Daughter had to to go to the DMV to work on title transfer for Son's car, and nobody likes going to the DMV, I'll tell you that.  New Gal was off at work (yay!) but she left a lot of things undone, and New Guy, Mistakes Girl, and Male Co-Worker spent a LOT of time trying to figure out if stuff she was supposed to have done actually got done.  No one will say anything to New Gal though.  Nope.  No accountability whatsoever.

I could not muster up the energy to do lower body weights last night.  I could not find the energy or motivation to walk on the treadmill this morning. Just sad and tired... and these feelings grew heavier as the day got longer.

I'm so glad that the Boss will be gone for most of today.  He's taking the Wife to a family Easter celebration downstate.  They had a huge fight about missing Easter eggs the other night.  He says that's why he can't spend more time at home.  What he doesn't realize is that if he stayed at home, he could catch these tiffs before they had time to fester and grow into big huge fights.

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 04/15/2022:
Hugs. Def do the pee test at home, like on Sunday. Also you could keep it on ice in a cooler.

Donkey on 04/16/2022:
Uh... DUH!!!! It honestly NEVER occurred to me to do the pee test on a weekend day!!!!! Oh my goodness, that is SO OBVIOUS and yet I missed it!

bearcountrygg on 04/15/2022:
Yes...Do that at home!!!

Donkey on 04/16/2022:
Yes, but I didn't even think to do it on a weekend day, like Happy pointed out to me! I will do that, even if it means I can't make it to the gym on one of those days.

happy-1 on 04/15/2022:
Thought this was a good blog article https://quitchronicfatigue.com/adrenal-and-thyroid-connection?utm_medium=social&utm_source=pinterest&utm_campaign=tailwind_tribes&utm_content=tribes&utm_term=748245302_30498722_556772

Donkey on 04/16/2022:
Very interesting... I would definitely see the connection. However, my issue, if there really is one, would be an overactive parathyroid gland.

The doctor asks me: Do you have achy bones, nausea & upset stomach, mood swings? --- Um, for like the past 20 years!!! (except for the nausea) I honestly thought that all of this stuff was/is due to estrogen/progesterone relating to the menstrual cycle.

horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2022:
re below - the dark chocolate 1/4 sheet cake sounds AMAZING!

horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2022:
do you have to refrig the pee right away? if not, i'd consider doing it at work and placing the containers in a cooler bag. / bag below your desk (if you do not want to take off....). i have a coworker who'd "make it work" and do it at work.

for me, i'm not sure. but i don't think i'd be able to put the pee in the frig....

for son's car, can't your hubby handle that while you are at work? (unless you PREFER to be home?)

they prob don't want you training anyone bc you are good at actually producing outcomes / getting work done...'

when you get very sad/tired, it may be time just to get a longer period of sleep at night...it's very restorative.

Donkey on 04/16/2022:
It's my understanding that the pee needs to be chilled ASAP. I guess bacteria grow quickly, although I thought urine was sterile (e.g. pee on a jellyfish sting to neutralize the poison).

I have a college dorm mini-fridge in the basement that I could probably use, depending on the size of the collection container. You make a good point.

I think there are 2 reasons they don't want me training anyone: in the past, I've been very particular and impatient in what we expect as a product, and #2, I do things the way the Boss likes them done, and New Guy (because of the demographics of his clients) does things a little differently.

But I feel that reason #1 is no longer valid, since I no longer have ANY expectation of a superior work product.

Donkey - Thursday Apr 14, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

Getting started early this morning, for the doctor's appointment at 8:40a, and they want me there 15 minutes early.  Plus I have to find the medical building, then the actual building, the floor, and the office.  

The birthday celebration last night was nice, but I felt sad through it, too.  Her birthday emphasizes that we won't be celebrating Son's birthday on Monday.  It was nice, though, that her boyfriend came for dinner and cake.  He shares a lot of geeky interests with Husband, so they had a lot to talk about. (Almost too much -- I think my Husband is very lonely.)

I ate a moderate dinner, because I knew I would have cake and ice cream afterwards.  Husband bought TWO cakes - completely unnecessary - because he thought that the main one he bought wouldn't be enough.  So now we have all of this cake leftover.  We have leftover ice cream too, but that is easier to resist, since it can be frozen, out of the way, and keep.  Well, I guess I could freeze the cake too.  IDK.

So I'm going to the doctor today and so is Baby Kitty!  She's been urinating blood for the past 1-2 days, so it's either a UTI or crystals in her urinary tract.  This cat, I tell ya... it's a good thing she's cute.

PS Did upper body weights - a little lighter, but 4 sets of 20 each - last night.  Will try to do legs tonight, but my leg muscles felt so heavy with fatigue this morning. Hormones...

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 04/14/2022:
I’ve never met a cake yet and I couldn’t freeze!

Can you post a picture of Baby Kitty?

I forgot what the endocrinologist thing was about. Hope you’re ok.

Donkey on 04/15/2022:
I will have to work on getting up a picture of Baby Kitty. Yes, I think it's about time.

Jacky82020 on 04/14/2022:
Word “and” written in error. When will I ever learn to proofread?

Donkey on 04/15/2022:
LOL... I feel your pain...

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2022:
Hope you get good news at the Doctors today......My kids birthdays are very close together too. I have to wonder if possibly your husbands purchase of the second cake may have a deeper meaning.....Maybe he wanted a cake for your son as well.......our subconscious minds are quite amazing.......Maybe have some cake on your sons birthday and celebrate the time you had with him.....if you think you can. If not...that is fine too.....but I suspect that your kids with their birthdays so close as my kids are ( 2 days apart).....we think in terms of our only 2 kids with almost shared birthdays as 1 event for them. ((HUGS))

Donkey on 04/15/2022:
I asked Husband about the 2nd cake, and he assured me that it was only so that all the bases would be covered, and everyone would be happy.

For Son's birthday... I dunno. He really liked Oreo ice cream... but I'm not sure this would be a good idea. It will be a terribly sad day (for me at least), and I'm not sure I want that paired with a particular food.

horn_of_plenty on 04/14/2022:
i have a tendency to get sick of eggs when having them too often. i'm starting to get sick of them again...because when i boil them, i do like 6 at a time; so it lasts like a week, then after a few weeks of it; i can't eat anymore eggs! when i bring eggs to lunch, they are very low cal to just eat one, easy light protein choice whenever i do it...

Donkey on 04/15/2022:
Right? I'm the same way.

horn_of_plenty on 04/14/2022:
maybe bring the cake to work if you don't want it at home !? LOL. perhaps you don't want to spend money that way on coworkers tho! your daughter can bring it to work, too. sometimes it's weird to bring in half a cake tho...

what types of cake were they?

Donkey on 04/15/2022:
Two problems with bringing the leftover cakes to work: Daughter would miss out, because she still wants to enjoy her cake, and I would still end up eating a lot of cake!

She likes chocolate frosting, yellow cake. Problem is, it's Easter, so the choices were nil. We ended up with a round, single-layer marble cake (yellow & chocolate) with chocolate frosting, and then a smaller quartersheet (?) triple layered dark chocolate cake w dark chocolate frosting. Decadent.

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 13, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

Today is warm, but dark & cloudy with rain & storms coming later.  Not very uplifting, but at least it'll be a free car wash.  

I want to say that yesterday was a "good day", but it really wasn't.  But, there were some good things in it:

  • We're running the help wanted ad again -- the ad has random switches of English & Spanish, and the name of the law firm is all in lower-case letters.  What???
  • New Gal went home early - oh what a relief.
  • Having the extra protein in the morning, as an addition to my morning fruit/nut snack, really helped.
  • Actually *forgot* that I had the Zoom grief group last night, so dinner was rushed and on the lighter side, because there was no time.  In a way, it was "nice" to forget my sadness for a little bit, and get caught up in some stupid real estate stuff.  But I *AM* glad that I made the group meeting in time and that I attended.  It is helpful.
  • Got in my steps without having to do any exercising at night.

Tonight I plan to do upper body weights, I think, if I'm up to it.  Had the usual bike ride, and then a nice walk on the treadmill.  

Boiled a couple of eggs for the added protein for my morning snack.  However, I just realized that if we are getting midday storms, I will most likely try to take my lunchtime walk earlier, say 11:30am, and then just eat at my desk while I work. 

Oh, we're celebrating Daughter's birthday tonight, with a pasta dinner and then cake & ice cream, which Daughter and Boyfriend shopped for last night, I think -- I see no signs of cake anywhere, but that's OK.  It was a relief for me not to have celebrated yesterday, on her actual birthday.

PS  I wrote answers on Monday's entry regarding my lunchtime walks.  It was nice to talk about how beneficial these walks are for me, after reading your questions and comments. Thank you!

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 04/13/2022:
Thanks for the reminder to boil eggs. Would like to top my salad with a few sometimes. But I do try to limit my protein intake to 50 gms daily. The Blue Zone diets & all that jazz.

Donkey on 04/14/2022:
Eggs are nice from time to time, but I could never be a person who uses them as a primary source of nutrition or part of my regular day-to-day menu.

happy-1 on 04/13/2022:
Hugs. You are doing great.

Donkey on 04/14/2022:
Thank you - and I appreciate the encouragement. Every day feels like passing through corn syrup. Slow, viscous, uncomfortable.

bearcountrygg on 04/13/2022:
Having the name of the company in the ad with lower case letters sure doesn't exude confidence does it...OMG

Donkey on 04/14/2022:
OMG is right. But we have an applicant who they are interviewing today at 9am. I'll be at the doctor's office, so I won't get to see her at all.

horn_of_plenty on 04/13/2022:
those lunchtime walks you take are great. it is not healthy to do what i currently do - sit ALL day thru. but i keep telling myself, it's temporary. ;) it's really good you get your blood flowing and muscles stretched during the day. it's hard to fit things in and get it all in without doing so. it's really, really healthy!

also, sounds like a really nice night for you all celebrating your daughter's bday!

oh, i've been getting back into eggs. they are a good, low cal, tasty supplement!

Donkey on 04/14/2022:
I agree that it IS hard to fit things in during the day. I would much prefer to work part-time.

It helped to have that delay in celebrating the birthday. I'm not entirely sure WHY.

See my comment to Jacky regarding eggs: nice for a change, but wouldn't want them every day.

Donkey - Tuesday Apr 12, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

Very short on time this morning, due to cleaning up and picking up.

I did well with eating and steps yesterday.  I ate an extra banana, from the fruit stash at work (that the Boss brought in).  This made me realize that I probably need something a little more substantial for my morning snack -- something with protein in it.  Other than that, I did pretty OK.  My aunt sent me a fruit basket and there were cookies, chocolates, and gummies in there.  I had 3 of the little cookies, because 4-5 was 140 calories per serving size (according to the packaging).  I gotta have that little sweet after dinner, I guess.  I wanted more but resisted eating anything else.

Did not do weights last night, and probably will not do them tonight, because of the Zoom support group -- presuming I receive a link for the meeting.

Today is Daughter's birthday, and I won't see her at all today.  She is spending the day with her boyfriend and going out with friends at night.  Our party will be tomorrow night.  Actually, I'm OK with this.  I'm finding it a little difficult to celebrate anything right now, and the mix of grief group and birthday wouldn't go well together at all (LOL).

The "interview" that we all thought was happening yesterday was actually just a marketing lunch with a title company sales rep.  So we're still back to "doing nothing" about finding a replacement for Mistakes Girl.

The Boss left at 2pm yesterday, and I'm wondering if this is the beginning of him pulling back more.  He won't leave early on his own, but if he has a grandchild to pick up from school, he WILL leave for that.  This is something that I suggested about a year ago -- doing this about 3-4 times a week.

Having him gone did make the afternoon easier, but I was not able to leave early.  Came home to find that Baby Kitty had made a big mess in Son's room (Husband went in there to find the title to his car and didn't realize she had gotten in the room, closed the door & left). 

And so family was kind enough to leave a HUGE pile of laundry for me to do. No words for that... just no words...

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/12/2022:
A protein breakfast does help a lot but bananas are good too.

Happy Birthday to your daughter......

I guess Baby Kitty didn't have much choice...when you gotta go, you gotta go......

I like doing laundry BUT...That kind of mess...not so much.

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
Yes, not only was it THAT kind of a mess, but in Son's room. What the H...

legcramps on 04/12/2022:
A little extra protein in the morning will help fill you up through the day!

Hope your daughter's day goes well, and yes you're right about it likely not mixing well with grief group. And focusing on you today is okay too!

Sorry to hear about Baby Kitty's predicament. Nothing to be done I suppose but clean it up. How nice that it was left to you to do *sarcasm*, but hopefully it won't happen again. I would not enjoy doing that type of laundry either!

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
Yes, I did much better with the extra protein with my midday snack. It was more of a pre-lunch, because I had a pear and some almonds at 10:30a. Then at 11:30a I had a protein shake. Went for a lunchtime walk around 12:15p. Had a proper lunch afterwards. Had a protein-carb snack at around 3:30p.

This went well.

Maria7 on 04/12/2022:
Happy birthday to your Daughter. That's good that your Boss is starting to enjoy some time off. Hope you have a blessed day.

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
I'm very thankful that work is a manageable "busy". It's just busy enough, especially for now.

Jacky82020 on 04/12/2022:
Hey, Donk! Isn’t it horrible how many calories a few measly cookies can pack?

I have 2 big litter boxes for 4 cats. My oldest cat, at least 15, deposited a humongous dump while I was cleaning one. Dang! Does freshly deposited cat poop ever stink! Fortunately, it was warm enough to open the window to the outside enclosure. They will never poop or P outside, only in the litter boxes.

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
My 2 cats are pretty good with using their boxes. But Baby Kitty has nerve damage and she never did have very strong litter box habits to begin with, even before she got sick and had the nerve damage.

But as others have pointed out, if you're locked in a room and can't get out and have to go, then you go. I was more upset with my Husband for being clumsy, unaware, and careless. (This is a venting of emotions; I know he didn't mean it.)

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2022:
you are busy today :)

nice that tonight isn't the family celebration of daughter and that's tomorrow. kinda makes it much easier on your schedule. :)

lol, send those gummies to me, just kidding.

maybe it was eating gummies and sugar that caused the gum above my tooth to get inflamed..it is going down and getting better. i'm using Tea Tree Oil! strong stuff.

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
It could very well be the gummies. A few months ago, I ate an abundance of jelly beans - which if you think about it, are quite similar to gummies, and had terrible canker sores on both sides of my inner cheeks.

jacky82020 on 04/13/2022:
How old is Baby Kitty?

happy-1 on 04/13/2022:
Leave the laundry for them to do!

Donkey - Monday Apr 11, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

Husband and I found a most delightful local (relatively) walking path yesterday!  I would love to go back there again, as there were a couple of alternative trails that I would like to try out.  I think it helped both of us fill the day in a positive way, togther.  I'm not sure how Husband does during the week, since I have work to fill my time, but weekends are harder...

We are having a couple of days of warmer temperatures, so I hope to take a longer lunchtime walk today.  I don't know if I'll do weights tonight, but my main focus today is to get through the workday without veering off track with eating.  

Let's see how much work drama there is today... 

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/11/2022:
Your walking path sounds very exciting! Is it near your home? Hoping you have a good day today!

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
It's not that far and even closer to work. Definitely going there again.

bearcountrygg on 04/11/2022:
Are your work day walks through the downtown area...or in a neighborhood...? Glad to hear that you and hubby had a nice walk over the weekend.......

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
My lunchtime walks are through a residential area, with houses from the 50's to newer, but not any of those mansions. Not all of the streets have sidewalks, and pretty much all of the streets are lined with mature oaks and maples. There IS a route that takes me along a busy road (with sidewalk) that passes a nursing home, church, and small office complex (single-story offices in a wooded lot). That's about as busy as it gets.

There is the "old" downtown -- little shops and such -- that is by the commuter train station, but it's too far to walk there. It would take my whole lunch hour just to walk to that area, with no time to walk around, if that makes sense.

Besides, I'd rather be with the mature trees.

horn_of_plenty on 04/11/2022:
Hope your lunchtime walk is nice - !!

Donkey on 04/12/2022:
It was! I've gotten to the point where I NEED to walk at lunch, or I don't function well at all in the afternoon. It's a great habit :-)

Donkey - Sunday Apr 10, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

Today is Palm Sunday...

Thank goodness it is sunny and relatively warmer today - what a difference the sun makes.  I hope to get outside today for a walk. Husband suggested a trail walk for today, but I sense that my Husband may have changed his mind.

Also, I have to call my mom today, since she wants an update. 

I went to the gym this morning and plopped myself down on MY elliptical, which is sandwiched between 2 other elliptical machines that "belong" to 2 other Sunday morning regulars - forget that social distancing shtuff, I guess.  Then I went and did a few weight machines, something I haven't done in a while.  I'm glad I did - it felt good - but I also found myself getting very annoyed with other people.   

Yesterday's eating was only OK.  Not the best nutritional choices (got deli sandwiches to take home) but no food fits.  My food issues are two-fold:  Quantity and Quaility.  I guess this is nothing unique or new, but the struggle is REAL, that's for sure.

Remember that appointment with an endocrinlogist I struggled with months ago?  That appointment is this week, Thursday.  That seems so unimportant now, but I'll still go.  

Also, I believe that They (Boss & New Guy) are interviewing someone on Monday, as a "lunch".  

No Zoom yoga on Monday, Zoom Grief Support on Tuesday, Daughter's birthday celebration on Wednesday, endocrinologist on Thursday -- what an exciting week ahead...

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/10/2022:
Happy Palm Sunday! I love Palm Sunday! Hope you have a wonderful day. No, there is NO social distancing 'anywhere' these days. Hubby and I still wear N95 masks and maskless people come right up to us, totally inconsiderate. Yes, they have the right to be maskless. Yes, we have the right to wear masks. But they should realize that if someone is wearing a mask, they also want to be socially distanced, too. Hubby and I haven't even started back church yet and it has been 2 years...most churches are not having mask-wearing going on and although we could go and wear our masks, we'd feel like the oddballs and then there would be no social distancing, probably. So, we have our devotionals and praying here at the house and this morning, I played the piano and sang a spiritual song that I have sung before in church. I greatly miss going to church.

bearcountrygg on 04/10/2022:
You are really going to have a busy week......I think the quality and quantity problem belongs to all if not most of us.....I think that the thing about people now days is that you never know who to trust.....there is a lot of really nasty people now just looking for a fight.....it is a breath of fresh air to run into one that is actually nice and pleasant...but they will likely get worn down too eventually...then it really will get uncomfortable. Hope your Drs appointment goes well....will be thinking about you then.

horn_of_plenty on 04/10/2022:
Busy week ahead for you Donk! It’s good you have that endo appt - it’s good you go :)

Nice job on fitness, also rest when you need it (sleep I mean!)

Donkey - Saturday Apr 09, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

It was difficult to face the scale today. I knew it wouldn't be too good.  I had some food difficulties at work, thanks to a big, beautiful chocolate cake.  

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 8.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/09/2022:
yum to choc cake. cake is so hard to eat in a small serving! but it can be done or can be had as a meal on it's own...at least that's how i accomplish it these days.....LOL.

Maria7 on 04/09/2022:
Who can resist a big, beautiful chocolate cake? I know I can't! I'm up in weight, too, so you are not alone. We'll get back on track. Take care.

bearcountrygg on 04/09/2022:
WEll...cake is cake...I have a couple of inlaws that do not like cake....there is something wrong with those people...LOL

happy-1 on 04/09/2022:
If there was cake in front of me, I’d eat it too.

horn_of_plenty on 04/10/2022:
more than the scale, you just keep working on you. the scale will follow. stay strong, the scale with show it. xoxoxoxoxoxo

that's why i don't enjoy cake as much as the smaller treats, nobody eats a piece of cake the size of two cookies...lol

then again, the cake part of cake is not the issue is it; it's the icing! lol

have a nice sunday!

Donkey - Friday Apr 08, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 139.5

Well, I was right - yesterday was very hard.  Harder than I thought it would be.  The shipment was very small, but a nice young man unpacked the truck - it was the only shipment in the truck. No one from the AF had attended, as we had been promised, but actually, that was OK.   

Afterwards, I stayed home for a bit, had lunch with husband (ate too much), and then went to work. 

I wrote of this before, about second-guessing myself in some of the decisions that we made, and yesterday was no exception. I think that I regret not requesting more of his stuff, specifically, his civilian clothing.  I guess we thought that it would be too hard to have to go through his clothing, to donate or discard, perhaps?  And that could have been true.... but it would have been nice, I think, to hold some of his shirts, maybe... 

But as my Boss told me later, it's not good to start second-guessing yourself.  I guess not.

While I was out, Male Co-Worker told me that he was about to confront the Boss about the trip to the ER Tuesday night, when the Boss' daughter called on the phone, speaking very LOUDLY that she was VERY upset that she JUST heard - from her HUSBAND - that Boss was in the ER two nights ago.  Ya think??!!??

So long story short, the Boss has a follow-up cardiologist appointment this afternoon, to check for blockages, I guess.  His daughter is connected in the medical circles, so this is a different cardiologist. If Boss went to his regular cardiologist, he'd have to wait until the end of May to get an appointment -- because the doctor is so overbooked. Perhaps the appointment will take all afternoon, and I could go home early.  Wouldn't that be nice...

I remember talking to my Son a couple of years ago, to encourage him to eat & train better, and not to drink alcohol, which he was starting to do more of.  My purpose was to encourage him to help himself be able to operate optimally at his job and to do well for himself.  Yet, this was a struggle for him.  And I see in my Boss, too, that he needs to do SO much more to take care of his health, but he doesn't.

I was reflecting on this last night, realizing that I too struggle with this -- of course, for me, it's mostly just the eating part.

Progress as of today: 47 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/08/2022:
We all have struggles of one kind or another every day. It's not like, 'Oh, I need to do this or that' and then we follow through...because even though the intent to do better is there, different circumstances that we constantly deal with can affect how much (or little) we take seriously what we need to do and how much of it we follow through with. Example: 'I want a donut and I deserve it because of this and that so I am going to have it even though I know this is not going to help me achieve my goal weight.' We could have made the decision to discipline ourselves and not give in. But...would the donut have actually helped us in the long run versus feeling stressed out about situations we have no control over? I know...what we should do it seek solace through a different avenue...for me, that would be praying more and reading Bible scriptures more and distracting myself with working inside the house or outside in the yards...But...do we choose the easy way (donut) or the harder way (doing other things that do not involve food)? The thing I am trying to get across is this: We have NO CONTROL over what others do, whether our children, spouses, or friends. We can only try to be there for them and pray for them and love them. That is all. You encouraged your Son to have a better life, as a wise and loving and caring Mother would do. Beyond that, there is nothing else you could do, other than to let him know you loved him, which you did. Same with your boss...He has chosen his lifestyle. All you can do is pray for him. We all want the best for everyone, but alas, there is little we can do to bring that about, other than loving them and praying for them. Sorry I wrote a sermon. Hope you have a better day today and also...try to think more of yourself today..maybe do something that invigorates you...that lifts your spirit, whatever it might be...an outside walk...a manicure...a new hairstyle...plan a day trip... Love ya!

bearcountrygg on 04/08/2022:
I agree with everything that Maria said........and I will say that I think having regrets about choices....before and after a death.......it's normal....Try not to second guess.....I still do it....and it really does not get me anywhere. Guiding or attempting to guide an adult child is a lesson in frustration....I guess none of us want to be told what to do. I know my kids resent when I try.....and sometimes I know better and say something anyway......I remember not wanting my parents opinions......Parenting is hard but so worth it..no matter how hard it is. Your son knew he was loved and you can take solace in that.....((HUGS))

legcramps on 04/08/2022:
Yes, what Maria said! And BCGG, about having regrets and that being totally normal. Analyzing and second guessing and hindsight - it's great and all, but doesn't really get us anywhere today.


Maria7 on 04/08/2022:
We all have regrets and wish we'd have done things differently regarding a, b, and c...when we look back and it's too late to change anything. But, we can also accept that we did the best we knew how at the time we had opportunity still available. I regret that near the end of my Mama's life, I kept coaxing her to eat, which she had no appetite and was losing weight at a very fast rate. She did her best to try to get a little food down here and there at my constant encouragement to her to eat, as I fed her one or two spoonfuls as she could tolerate. Little did I know that she was not dying because she was not eating...instead, she was not eating BECAUSE she was dying...and I learned this AFTER she had passed. I regret having pressured her to eat, being ignorant of this fact. So, we all have regrets and we cannot change anything after they are gone and we have to accept this and it takes time to do this. I think you expect a lot more of yourself than you are aware of. Be kind to yourself. Grief is different for everyone but the one thing we all have in common is we are human and we must all come to terms with decisions that were made when our loved one was still here on earth and we must accept our inadequacies as well and appreciate that our loved ones knew we tried to help them the best we knew how as well as felt our love for them that we continue to have ongoing. Take care.

innerpeace on 04/08/2022:
Oh I can't tell you how much reading this put dread in my heart. I know every situation is different but all I do is worry about my son (also in the military) I know he has a drinking issue and I have even called him out on it a time or two and he always tells me he can handle it...I really wonder about it though. I just hate that he is so far away. I know that he is a grown adult and will make his own decisions, but as a mother, I worry.

horn_of_plenty on 04/08/2022:
re your boss, seems old things never change re below! i don't think he will ever change lol. be glad his life isn't yours! i'd be glad over it, anyways. i wouldn't want to be in the hospital and work the next day!

horn_of_plenty on 04/08/2022:
yes, your boss is right. don't second guess your decisions re your son's clothes. there's no right or wrong way to go. you are ok in your earlier decision <3. for sure.

we all struggle. we can do better.

remember, you do not have to be perfect in eating (or any other part of your life). this is something i remind myself about lately too. by allowing the treats and wiggle room, things become more manageable.

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