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Donkey - Saturday Aug 25, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.5

SO  NOT VERY HAPPY WITH MY WEIGH-IN THIS MORNING... but I had to laugh, because - get this - the Ironman scale (which ALWAYS weighs me higher than my regular scale) actually weighed me in LOWER than my regular scale.  Regular digital scale: 129.5 (booo); Ironman digital scale:  129.4 (yay!!!).  I'm tellin' you, Scale Insanity is real.

I survived the work party and I survived the Church Ladies' dinner.  I felt I made good choices at both events.  I didn't do as much socializing at the Work Party as I probably should have.  I'm just not that kind of person to walk around and mingle.  I can't change this aspect of myself; it's who I am.  I'm getting the impression that it's hard for my boss -- as a natural extrovert -- to understand my inability and discomfort.  I could probably overcome this after drinking a couple of alcoholic drinks, but I don't want to do that!!!  Had a large hot dog and lots of raw fruits and vegetables.

Church ladies was fun!  The most popular, outgoing lady canceled at the last minute. I love her to death - she's helped me in so many ways - but I strongly suspect that she's trying to leave our little group.  When she canceled, I thought, Geez, how are the rest of us going to be able to find stuff to talk about?  But we did -- for a few hours!  They were talking about joining a Girlfriends Gathering the church is starting up, where there is a main speaker for a little bit, and then you meet with your girlfriends afterwards, BYOB.  If there's no charge, I think this is something I'd like to try.  I did think of these ladies the minute I read about it in the weekly bulletin... Turns out, some of them did too!  And maybe it will bring the other lady back to us.  She's so outgoing and gregarious though, that she probably would rather hang out with ladies she's closer to, friend-wise and emotionally.  Ate an entire salad which had bleu cheese, pecans, and bacon.  (Maybe too much salt for today's weigh-in?  I don't care, it was delicious and I was HUNGRY.)

Anyway, focusing on the weekend....

  • I ran out of time (i.e. forgot) to fit in weights yesterday, so I told myself I would do a quick session this morning.  I was debating whether to do upper body or lower body, and opted for the more challening, less-liked upper body.
  • Don't have too much planned to do, but a book I put a hold on at the library has come in, so I'll be heading off to my favorite place :-)  
  • I found a new show to watch while riding my bike in the evenings:  Call the Midwife.  It's a little longer than the Great British Baking Show, but seems to satisfy the niche I was looking for in a program.  And there's 54 episodes available on Netflix, so that should last me through October.  Why am I talking about this here?  Because it seems that at the end of each season, there is a Christmas episode that runs longer than the normal 52 minutes.  I plan to indulge in that longer episode tonight... or possibly tomorrow, if the weather turns nicer today so that I end up walking.  We'll see.

Random Thought:

As you know, my Fitbit has been instrumental in helping me lose and keep off the weight.  Lately, I cannot update/sync my statistics unless I am at home.  I'm not sure why.  It doesn't matter if I'm on WiFi or not, the Fitbit won't sync to my phone.  This has been frustrating because I do like to monitor my progress throughout the day -- especially when I am at work, to make sure I do get up from my computer desk and move around a little...  Maybe this was meant to be, so that I don't obsess over step count during the day.  IDK...  

Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2018:
Scales are fickle...they are just a guestimate basically.....they say the only real true scales are at the drs. My personal feelings are that your boss should be happy that you aren't the office butterfly...I'm sure you get more work done by keeping to yourself....but schmoozers think chatting happily gets them business....and maybe it does...so it's a good thing he likes that....bleu cheese, pecans and bacon...GOOD PROTEIN and Calcium there. My Microsoft has been wanting me to sync things lately.....it seems to ask everyday.....maybe something new going on with that....your new show sounds interesting.

Donkey on 08/26/2018:
Thank you! As I'm taking a low carb approach, the fats and proteins in the salad are OK with me. It was a very good salad. I stayed away from the alcohol.

I might be that odd introvert that enjoys being in the company of extroverts. I like to listen and watch and provide feedback and input/questions. The one church lady who decided to cancel at the last minute - a total extrovert, and I love her for it!

jasmine on 08/25/2018:
How clothes fit is probably a better gauge than the scales. If you clothes are comfortable you are doing well.

Donkey on 08/26/2018:

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2018:
I have so much to comment on here, you've given me so much food for thought in your entry ;)....i think i'll number my comments today haha...for real!

1. EXCELLENT, excellent job on eating and food choices at both events. the salad sounds wonderful as does a nice hot dog with your own veggies and fruits to satisfy your stomach a bit more.

2. I know exactly where you are coming from about not being the walking-around-talking-mingling type. I am the same way, especially when i don't know people that way. I like to sit and eat and talk to whomever i am near also. this has been a struggle of mine, too, and yes, it's my personality. i feel you. i am glad you are up to accepting it. good job not drinking bc of that.

3. seems the scales really are INSANE. especially that now they are backwards! and the bad one is now the good one - very strange! - another reason not to let it get to you too much...and to focus most on the good choices to help with your weight, which you are doing...and of course when the scales are going up, to dial it back a little (easier said than done, oh how i know!)

4. let me send these comments before they accidentally get deleted before i go on.... finally i'm relaxed and happy to get some good commenting in on your entry...wayyyyyy more fun than the wedding tonight! :)

Donkey on 08/26/2018:
Thank you x 4! :)

I used to marvel at extroverts at how talented they were to handle a large audience, keeping the conversation going... Now I'm starting to realize that it's not a talent, per se, but just a personality. I wonder if I could try to consider myself a talented introvert.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2018:
5. how often do you weigh now, once a week? it is sorta a large change from last week...it could also be the "bulk" of the salad? and also, is it that TOM?...it DOES affect me, i always weigh more right up to it...

6. The library is awesome! even more awesome, lately my coworkers are giving me books to read, and they are turning out to be outrageously good. This one i'm reading now is on 7 great women - and if you are of either christian or jewish background, the book will hit even more closer to home. it is an amazing book, and there are short stories in it of 7 great women. a few of them you will definitely know :) like rosa parks and Mother Teresa but there are several i didn't know and reading up on them, i am saddened that our Jewish religion / schools have failed to educate us of more of the wonderful women around the world. I just figured out why, Rosa Parks is from US, but these other women are not...which is why we probably don't learn about them in school...as there's little time for Global Studies in the school system.

7. LOL, enjoy your Christmas in August episode! So you will be seeing women give birth!?

8. I do agree that like the scale, the fitbit is similar. yes, i do think it's a good thing for you that you don't have to know it all day....you know what you have to do...and the fitbit is also a tool that "shows" you the work you do...the results of your work...and i do agree that it is a benefit in disguise that you don't need to see it tracking all day long. i do agree.

Donkey on 08/26/2018:
5. I honestly have no idea. I'm going to chalk it up to salt.

6. My book was disappointing. It didn't cover the subject I thought it did. I'm returning it as soon as I can. I won't read it. (Kind of upset that this was promoted as one thing, but really is something completely different.)

7. It's fictional, but they show babies' heads coming out (from a side view). It's set in the 1950's and is about helping a very poor, British community. And the doctor is very handsome...

8. 100% spot on - as usual. I won't sweat this any more. I will update before work (after my morning workout) and then before bed, to tally up the stats. That's all I need for where I'm at.

Maria7 on 08/26/2018:
So happy all went well for you. :-)

Donkey on 08/26/2018:
Thank you -- and me too! So often I leave these social functions being disappointed with myself. Not this time - huge victory for Donkey.

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 22, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Making progress: Did not approach Queen Bee about Friday's menu for the office party. Good advice! I'll just roll with whatever is there. Not worth the drama...

Instead, I volunteered to cover the phones for the first hour or first half of the party. I can load up on vegetables at my desk, and then have a burger at the party. They might get veggie burgers, but if not, that's ok too.

I got BOLD and told the church ladies we're meeting at a different place (where I can get a salad or something healthier). Didn't mean to be bossy but no one was making any definitive decisions, so I made them, everyone agreed.

Truth time: this is my exercise. I ride my old exercise bike in the morning, with, at best, low resistance (like almost none) to loosen up my legs and back. I take a 20 minute walk at lunch, to decompress. At home, in the evening, I ride the programmable exercise bike for 45-50 minutes while I watch tv. It's a more challenging workout but feels good when I'm finished.

Throw in 5 minutes of weights, 4 days a week.

Idk if that's too much, but keep in mind that I pretty much sit all day at my desk in front of a computer.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/22/2018:
YEAH for not falling to the drama queen....GFREAT CHOICE!! Well look at you...planning to eat without that hag being able to even comment...after all...you volunteered to work....... Well good for making a choice when the others are just messing around.....!! Any exercise is basically good exercise as long as you don't injure yourself and you are active....sounds like you are WINNING!!!!!

legcramps on 08/22/2018:
Nice job on the decision-making; I bet that feels good :)

I don't think that's too much exercise. I also sit in front of a computer most of the day; when i'm in a good routine, I will swim in the morning for 30 minutes; I almost always get out for two walks every day i'm at work - each time it's 20 minutes; in the evening I will often have an hour long workout of some kind. That's without training for anything. So, no, I don't think what you're doing is too much. Your legs must be very strong! I might rather do something else in the morning to warm up, like yoga or pilates or even a stretching routine, to offer some balance in your workouts, but if you like to ride the bike, go for it!

horn_of_plenty on 08/22/2018:
yep, nothing at work is worth the drama of losing a paycheck / being fired! roll with it...and plan for what you can...

GREAT idea...to have veggies while covering phones...i'd have done the exact same thing!

GREAT idea again with church ladies...no need to be totally uncomfortable with poor restaurant options...who knows, maybe you'll have a good effect on someone else in the group !

no, your exercise is not too much at all. it's great. good idea, again!, in the morning to exercise. very important. ...keep on.

horn_of_plenty on 08/22/2018:
like leg cramps said, your decision making is on point, you have made proactive decisions and that's great accomplishments!...kudos....very proud of you....very good.

Maria7 on 08/24/2018:
Wow, you sure did handle both of those party decisions very well!

Donkey - Tuesday Aug 21, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Random thoughts:

I probably spoke too soon about being 1 pound away from a 60-pound loss, with the way my weight fluctuates. I can feel the consequences of yesterday's choices today. Sometimes, it's just what's on the menu...

If I were training for a race or an event, people wouldn't give me such flack for exercising. Why isn't it ok that I exercise because I love to do it?

Work is throwing a realtor party on Friday... with no healthy food. (I must ask Queen Bee about the menu, but I have to be very careful about how I go about doing this). Then I'm meeting up with my church ladies for dinner... at a place called "Meat and Potatoes" - ugh!

It will be a difficult weigh-in on Saturday.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2018:
A 4 pound fluctuation either way...is absolutely normal.....so don't worry about that. I wouldn't even mention it to the Queen Bee...it will just feed her need to put others down in an attempt to boost herself up. You know what drives controllers bezerK?????? You not reacting to their bait!!!! You reacting like you never even noticed their attempts to control......they CANNOT STAND TO BE IGNORED! For them...making others feel uncomfortable is sport. I'm sure a restaurant called Meat and Potatoes....has other things too.....and even if you choose meat and potatoes....or dessert ...or anything you want...then she will pick...either way it is a lose/lose situation....so just eat what you want....and "SMILE".......your composure and friendliness will drive her nuts!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 08/21/2018:
NO NO! IT IS OK for you to exercise because you love it!!! IT IS OK! you do not need an excuse or to explain yourself. it's YOUR life...not theirs. You are entitled to live the life that makes you HAPPY. NO EXPLANATIONS. DO WHAT YOU ENJOY!

Bring a veggie platter or YOUR OWN VEGGIES on the day of the work party. You can eat your veggies and just tastes of the other stuff. PLAN IT. at meat and potatoes, see the menu, maybe there's a salad or side of veggies you can get with just tastes of the other stuff. pull thru!, plan ahead. small tastes of the heavy stuff.

legcramps on 08/21/2018:
So, the reason people only exercise heavily while they're training for an event is because they are training their muscles and recovery systems in order to guarantee a good end result. They are putting their bodies under amazing amounts of stress in order to achieve certain levels of athleticism. Amateur athletes will train heavily for a period of time leading up to an event, then take a 'break' where they will scale down on their workouts. If this isn't done, their bodies can break down and injuries will happen. You can't expect that you will be able to absorb high levels of stress on the body for an extended period of time.

Now, saying that, i'm talking about people who are exercising multiple times each day, working their bodies to the very extreme. If i'm wrong, correct me, but I understand that you go on your exercise bike every night for about an hour, and you will sometimes do a bit of a weight lifting routine?

Nothing wrong with that. Whoever is telling you that there is something wrong with that, can go ahead and get their head checked. That's called leading an active lifestyle by being active in some way, every day, for at least 30-50 minutes a day.

You are rocking it, and you are an inspiration to the rest of us. Don't stop being awesome!

Donkey - Sunday Aug 19, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

I realized that I am 1 pound away from being able to say that I've lost 60 pounds on this journey...  Just putting that out there.

I was really looking forward to having a private chat with one of the volunteers at legal clinic, because she has been on this "minimalist", downsizing journey this past year.  She also has done WW to lose weight, and I wanted to explore with her a topic that we touched on here at DD, with regards to a minimalist approach to losing weight, e.g. after the first 3 bites, food doesn't taste as good, etc.

Unfortunately, she and I didn't have the opportunity to expound on this much, so maybe more next month, but she agreed with me that she has been incorporating this approach with her food intake, i.e. her food is either "essential for life" (i.e. healthy foods) or "brings her joy" (i.e. wine, dessert).

What I found most interesting though is that she says that the new WW does not work for her and has not been able to lose weight with it.  She feels that there are too many "free foods" that should not be free, and she is unable to meet daily goals with the new points system (dailyl base points + weekly freebies).  So she has been very frustrated and that's why she wanted to speak with me.  We spoke very briefly, and I encouraged her to try to go back to the old WW point system - with which she did have success.  The BEST part is that I have old WW points books that I've been holding on to for some unknown reason -- I don't count points, but I just haven't been able to give these books away.  I will give them to my friend at next month's legal clinic, knowing that they have a good home.

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2018:
WOW......You are right on the edge there with that 60 pound mark,.......Great going Donk!!!! WW does have it as their policy that they HAVE to keep changing things up every year or 2....I'm not sure why.......it may have to do with bringing in new ideas for people to pay for....I'm not sure.....I have kept my old materials from my meetings days too.....one thing I can say for them is that different programs of theirs work better for different people...some need the freedom...others need strict guidelines for every food......the current program with it's freedoms can still work but it makes it difficult......I still follow some of their principles...but in the back of my mind I am always figuring they will change it again....and will the new program work for me....it is frustrating sometimes......but I will say one thing for them.......they are always there and you don't have to buy food from them....I guess that is why they are still in business. People quit...and return over and over again....because they do give hope for a rather small cost......

Donkey on 08/19/2018:
The new program might work for someone who has a lot of weight to lose -- it will get them to eat healthier at least.

I almost joined for the real-life support group. That was the draw for me.

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2018:
I did find that the meetings were super helpful...at that time...(in the late 90's especially)...I really threw myself into it...sat front center..was active in almost every meeting......and it was very effective......online is so cold......and different......but basically any diet works if you work it.....it's the WORKING part that is difficult...LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 08/19/2018:
goooo for the pound Donkey...i support it for many reasons including the fact you can say you lost 60lbs! OUTSTANDING! that's nothing minor!

i do agree that with food, after a few bites, it doesn't taste the same and we just keep eating out habit i'd say...or we keep eating for comfort. both of these reasons are things i do.

i agree - the new WW is horrible based on everything i hear. calories in & calories out...points in and points out...can't be any other way. no freebies.

Maria7 on 08/20/2018:
Wow, you are really doing well! You should reward yourself when you reach that goal with something special just for you. :-)

Donkey on 08/21/2018:
Wow, I never thought about I! Good idea!

Donkey - Saturday Aug 18, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.5

Good weigh-in... on both scales, lol... One thing I forgot to mention about the VA hospital visit was to say how friendly and pleasant everyone was. Random folks saying good morning to each other, thanking clients for their service, just nice. :) Work was busy but manageable, although I DID end up staying an hour over. A lot of last minute stuff came up at 4p. My husband said he's used to late dinners on Friday. (wah wah) I know I told Maria that I would try to relax this weekend. This is hard for me to do! After legal clinic this morning, my time will be my own!

AFTERNOON EDIT:  Sure enough, my husband received a notice in the mail that he has an appointment at the VA -- same location, same crazy drive! -- to see a rheumatologist.  I commend the VA for such a rapid response.  Wow, that was crazy fast!  an internest doctor for IBS.  

Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/18/2018:
Weekends are the best.

Maria7 on 08/18/2018:
I hope you are having a nice weekend. Good weigh-in, too. Smile! Also always good when people make you feel appreciated with cheerful greetings, etc. Hope you do get to relax some this weekend and rest some. :-)

BearCountryGG on 08/18/2018:
OMG!!!!!!! The government at work!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/19/2018:
for IBS!? really!? ....this is unexpected!

great job saying on deciding your time will be your own after the clinic. if you want your own time, best to allow it to yourself. Same here, for me today. It makes me happy to not be rushing around as much today :)

PS...i took a day off friday and still haven't fully decided what i'm doing. one option was to spend the WHOLE day at beach with the friend that loves it - but that wouldn't be relaxing day for me...so...i haven't really asked her yet....as it's important on MY DAYS off to spend them how my body and mind want to spend them...so i'm thinking Friday to be a relaxing day...not to please anyone else except myself, first and foremost! so that the vaca day is a REAL vaca day!

Donkey - Friday Aug 17, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.0

I survived the drive! It's a particularly aggressive commute to this VA hospital. Well, any drive towards Chicago involves more traffic, complicated mergers, crazy drivers, etc. I'm more of an open highway person. Very nervous driver...

My husband saw the wrong doctor because they had entered his auto-immune disease obviously into the computer system as a degenerative disc disease. So he saw an ortho doctor rather than a rheumatologist. He may or may not need another appointment because of this mistake.

I got home, dropped off husband, picked up daughter to take her to HER doctor's appointment. (She didn't want to go alone.)

After all these doctors, I was exhausted, so I opted to stay home and not check in at work. I'm still tired this morning, and I know today will be busy. My coworker covering my desk said she left 29 emails unread. So I'll have about 50 emails this morning, plus a very long list of time sensitive tasks to do today.

No rest on Saturday, since there's legal clinic.

And just battling my body with the inconveniences of TOM. Why must my cycle always kick in, irregularly, at the most stressful times in my life?

Progress as of today: 59.5 lbs lost so far, only -9.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/17/2018:
Stress can cause irregularity, as you may probably already know!

glad all the appts are finally over..nice of you to go with your daughter, i always had prefered personally to go alone...but she's still a teen, so it can make sense she'd want you there still!

remember to breathe today and realize that work will still be waiting for you Monday - anything you don't finish today!

Donkey on 08/18/2018:
I have to grab these Mom moments while I still can. She ditched me afterwards to meet up with friends at Panera, lol...

BearCountryGG on 08/17/2018:
Yes...work will always be waiting for you......pick out the most time sensitive ones...deal with them and then handle the others as you can. Having any hot flashes yet????????

Donkey on 08/18/2018:
Not yet but changes are happening. I shouldn't complain, it could be worse!

BearCountryGG on 08/17/2018:
I know you are hoping for a veterans disability...have you looked into social security disability too? ( for Mr Donkey)

Donkey on 08/18/2018:
Yes, he's started the SSD process. It's a long process. I'm fortunate to have 2 acquaintances who have gone through that process for their family members, so I'm mentally prepared as to what to expect. Again, keeping expectations low.

Maria7 on 08/17/2018:
Hope you get some rest this weekend. :-)

Donkey on 08/18/2018:
AMEN! In fact, I'm thinking of scheduling deliberate down time, i.e. nap, reading, maybe knitting!

Donkey - Thursday Aug 16, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.0

So I put a sign on the freezer door at work addressed to whomever threw out my food to please replace the veggie burgers and stick of butter. That won't happen, but it made me feel better. We think it was the boss' son-in-law who threw out my food, thinking it belonged to the office manager for the business downstairs, because he's really mad at her right now, and this is his revenge. She and I eat similar foods and share(d) the same space in the freezer... I don't like the son-in-law either because he accused me of stealing gift cards a year ago and never apologized for that. I'd call him a weasel but that would be insulting to weasels.

Taking husband to the VA hospital for another evaluation today. He says they are very mean there. Sad. Very nervous about the difficult drive to the facility.

Progress as of today: 59.5 lbs lost so far, only -9.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 08/16/2018:
I love putting up signs like that at work ;) I put one up after our coffee maker area started to look like a rat's nest. Something about cleaning up your own mess because we don't employ cleaning fairies. I thought it was funny; a few other people thought it was funny; obviously, the ones who were making the mess did not think it was funny LOL.

Is it a difficult drive because of the distance/logistics? I hope it goes well and they are not mean today!

Maria7 on 08/16/2018:
I laughed about the insulting to weasels, ha. Hope the VA appt goes well. :-)

horn_of_plenty on 08/16/2018:
You know, the son in law probably stole the cards!

the facility is far? is that why the drive is difficult?

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 15, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.0


I keep an emergency veggie burger in the freezer, I had a baggie of frozen watermelon, and a half a stick of butter. All gone.

Turns out my Sunday anxiety was probably hormone related, after all...

Progress as of today: 59.5 lbs lost so far, only -9.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/15/2018:
Well...that stinks.....maybe put your name on your food?

horn_of_plenty on 08/15/2018:
yeah, that's annoying getting good food thrown out. my coworkers recently also cleaned our fridge but left my food alone...cheers to that! - they cleaned out EVERYTHING except my food <3

i guess you'll have to re-stock :)

keep on J-donk and be happy...notice the nature and trees and animals out and about as it's still summer :) i was thinking about it this morning :) to enjoy my surroundings while it lasts!

legcramps on 08/15/2018:
Are you serious??! I can't believe they threw out your food; if we clean out the fridge at my office, we always send out a message to make sure people come and grab their stuff so we don't throw it out. Normally, we only throw out anything that's starting to mold or dairy products that have expired.

Donkey - Tuesday Aug 14, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.0

Work was again insanely busy... Queen Bee decided to take an extra day off - no surprise there. Male co-worker returns tomorrow. Having everyone actually working should help. Imagine that.

I'm sorry my comments on entries was pretty anemic. I'm keeping up and cheering you all on... but don't have much left in my brain to contribute significantly.

Forgot to weigh train last night. Thought about it several times, but never did it. So I'm doing it this morning.

Progress as of today: 59.5 lbs lost so far, only -9.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/14/2018:
What is the "modeling" your husband does?

You sound much more optimistic :) keep on!!!!!

Your comments are just fine, don't apologize for being you :) i know what you mean about having nothing left in your brain to spare on DD ;)

lol...summer vacations in the workplace...yup!

happy-1 on 08/14/2018:
hugs. even when they are short, they are there and keep me logging. and your approval and encouragement keep me on track.

happy-1 on 08/14/2018:
good job on the weight training.

happy-1 on 08/14/2018:
especially because you forgot/procrastinated about it and got on the horse this morning and embraced the suck.

happy-1 on 08/14/2018:
especially because you forgot/procrastinated about it and got on the horse this morning and embraced the suck.

legcramps on 08/14/2018:
Hope you're having a better week!

BearCountryGG on 08/14/2018:
Funny how having them all there is a pain....and having them all gone is a pain...lol

Donkey - Monday Aug 13, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 127.0

Be true to thine self... I ended up having a little cry session. I explained to my husband that I was feeling anxious, so that helped him know how to react to me better. I also explained that I'm trying to downsize and keep things to a minimum. I pointed out that we have a desk that is not being used that he could use - he should at least try it before we buy anything. He agreed that he should use what we have. Awww what a guy!

In return, later on, I agreed to go out to dinner for a sandwich, although I ordered a salad. I may have had too much spinach dip while waiting, but oh well. And I would have been perfectly happy having leftovers at home, but I sensed that he needed some "relief" as well. I only ate half of my salad so now I have a nice lunch for today.

I was then able to have a lovely time at the library - checked out the Four Agreements - and picked up vitamin D for the husband on my way home.

Also managed to make my fitbit happy by scoring at least 250 steps each hour for 12 hours.

So all in all a pretty good weekend. Gonna focus on taking this week in stride. If I have to step away and relax, I'm going to do it. 5 minutes of relaxing might make those remaining 55 minutes more productive!

Progress as of today: 59.5 lbs lost so far, only -9.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/13/2018:
It sounds like you accomplished a lot this weekend...GOOD GOING GIRL!!! I agree...I repurpose things around here all the time....and love doing that. He is probably getting tired of being at home...maybe he needs a good hobby that he loves to keep him more contented...( there may be a cost involved but it would probably be worth it). Great restaurant choices...even the dip...veggies and calcium!! I think you will enjoy the 4 agreements...it 's a quick read and makes a whole lot of sense. Keep stepping!!

Donkey on 08/14/2018:
He's doing modeling but tends to spend $ rather than actually DO the modeling. In all the years we've been married, I've never seen him finish a model.

horn_of_plenty on 08/13/2018:
I think it has to do with your hubby home and you working. He will need to understand that you have more responsibilities now and that it's difficult to manage yourself, working, him, and appointments. Take it easy & take a breather. I am sure your anxiety is stemming from work and going with him to appointments and coming back to more work. Take it easy. Enjoy some of the day off after appointments when you go with him...take it easy and don't stress as much (try not to) about things that you can't control. Your hubby and yourself have to understand that you are the breadwinner now and money shouldn't be spent on unnecessary things. that is what's on your mind as i read from these latest entries. 100% makes sense. he will need to lsiten to you, as he is relying on you. :) talk to him again, if you have to, making yourself clear. lovingly !

Donkey on 08/14/2018:
I'm noticing that he's... lost? Lonely? ... without work. It was worse when my son was gone, because husband spent more time alone. He's got internet friends and modeling, but I sense that sometimes he misses being out and about.

That's one big reason why I was ok with eating out Sunday. Cheaper than therapy, right?

legcramps on 08/13/2018:
Well, I felt a great sense of calm reading your entry today. Glad to hear that you two had a talk and worked some things out. I've read The Four Agreements as well, it really does make you stop and think about your circumstances and how you can better respond to them.

I feel like you have the week ahead locked in, girl. You've so got this.

Donkey on 08/14/2018:
Yes, I FEEL like I got this week. I can do this, I can get us through this.

All of this in spite of work, worry, stress... I got this.

Maria7 on 08/13/2018:
A little cry session helps us all from time to time. You are VERY wise to curtail expenses and spending that you spoke of. In this day and time, a lot of people barely keep food on their tables and are totally unprepared for having any back-up plans if they were to find themselves in need of food or money. It is frustrating when others we live with do not see the need to be frugal and especialy when you are trying to go by a budget. Sounds like your Hubby is a good, understanding Guy who loves you a lot and is on board, tho. We all get a little spendthrifty sometimes, so I am not a total prude and not advising anyone else to be one but even the Bible teaches us to stay out of debt and be wise as ants who store up in the harvest to have food in the winter. I hope I have not gone overboard in what I have said. Just want you to know that I understand and I admire your wisdom.

Donkey on 08/14/2018:
Not overstepping at all! In fact, I'm glad you made the comments you did, because you will then understand how uncomfortable I've been feeling this whole year being financially uncertain, as husband has been making the transition from main breadwinner to disabled veteran.

I follow(ed) Dave Ramsey who often speaks about the biblical aspect of personal finance. His plan helped me get us out of debt and prepared for this uncertainty. But I've been stuck since last November, unable to move forward.

Working on getting unstuck. And then I'll be able to help my family move forward.

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