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Donkey - Saturday Mar 13, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 147.5

 I'm not in a good place right now.  I've been "off" all week, with my stomach, and then the sciatica, and mentally-spiritually too.  I thought about not weighing in today, but hiding from reality won't change reality, so I stepped on the scale.  Again, I had different readings based on which foot I stepped onto the scale with, but overall, I seemed to average around 147.5.  The 0.2 scale had me at 148.0, and that usually weighs me about a pound heavier, so 147.5 this morning it is.

The 0.2 scale shows me pretty much at the same body fat, but higher water content.  That is consistent with the bloated feeling that I've been experiencing and the extra carbs I've been eating to "self-medicate".  Just off altogether.  Sciatica on Monday, raw throat on Tuesday (thought I was getting sick, but now I think it might be allergies), too much dessert on Tuesday, Wednesday was chocolates at work in the afternoon, and a big ol' pile of fries at dinner.  Thursday and Friday were lighter days of eating, but heavy on the carbs.  I am hungry, but my stomach feels heavy and bloated.  Last night I had spaghetti for dinner with no meat, because it was the only thing that seemed appetizing.

And I really don't feel like talking, although I do too much of that.  I just want to stay silent and keep to myself.  So why am I writing here, right?  I guess just to get it all out and organized. Mentally, I feel very unorganized, which prevents me from functioning optimally.

Spiritually, I feel empty.  I'm sorry I'm not commenting on diaries.  I just can't do that right now.

Progress as of today: 39 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/13/2021:
Tomorrow’s another day, Donkey. And so is the day after that and so forth and so on. Plenty of time to get back on track. Appetite is particularly difficult to control when you’re feeling lousy, be it physically or mentally. Hugs.

Donkey on 03/14/2021:

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2021:
I'm really sorry you are not feeling your best at all. I want to tell you to listen to Jacky, time does heal, and you will get back on better footing <3 Have trust.

Donkey - Thursday Mar 11, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 146.5

Yesterday was so stressful at work. Lots of deadlines that weren't met,  which made more work for me. 

Started to feel unwell,  like a sore throat. Self-medicated with too much ice cream. Went to bed early,  but could not wake up early. I will try go to bed early or earlier tonight as well,  although if I go to the gym,  that won't happen. 

Husband is getting an endoscopy at the hospital tomorrow. I just realized that this means an extremely early morning for me. I'm taking the morning off of work to help him with all that. Oh my...

Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/11/2021:
Went with my Dad when he had an endoscope.....Once they take them back...it's pretty quick and they wake up quite well to...hopefully it goes fast for you guys too....Hope you aren't coming down with something and that that immune system kicks in fast for you.

Maria7 on 03/11/2021:
Hope you feel better. Don't forget that gargling 3 or 4 times a day with very warm, salted water is very beneficial.

Jacky82020 on 03/11/2021:
Sorry to hear you weren’t feeling well & hoping things are better today. Hugs!

You are one busy Donkey! Take care, my friend.

horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2021:
Happy Friday Donk Donk! I hope all goes well with your morning and also getting your hubby to his appointment and assisting him with all the related activities today.

I have come to a realization about work / stress / deadlines not met. i want to say that we become creatures of habit at work. try to make sure that between your work activities you take breathers - even go on your phone to see the news or facebook or google something or look over your schedule.

the reason i mentioned the above is because that is what works for me. in order to be able to have had the somewhat more active weekends lately like the volunteering, i need to make sure i work myself up to them...and do not deplete my entire mind and energy both mentally and physically leading into the weekend. i have gotten better at that with this job...and i have been trying to get more sleep as well...but i'm getting a little better and working on "maintaining" my energy levels so that everything weekend is not just a wish to be in bed but i can accomplish things and feel better 7 days of the week and not have a weekend, every weekend, where i feel horrible because i didn't maintain any energy stores and used them all work during the workweek. I'm just saying it could be a habit that you can improve upon (or perhaps this doesn't really relate to you - but it does to me)

Get some extra rest this weekend, maybe some airborne or Vit C...i hope you feel better. I liked maria's salt water gargle tip.

Donkey - Wednesday Mar 10, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 146.5

I did not go to bed early,  as I wanted to,  so I did not get up early,  to start adapting to the time change this weekend, as I wanted,  but I did get up on time,  so I suppose that's technically getting up early,  LOL...  At least it's Wednesday,  and we're half way through the week. 

I survived the photo shoot. Fortunately,  I didn't have to take a new headshot,  just group pictures,  and the photographer put me in the back.  During the whole ordeal, we were also dealing with a very smelly gas leak in the building,  so the whole thing was literally nauseating. 

But I'm relieved to report that Queen Bee did not lose any more weight.  In fact,  she may have gained some back. 

I told my husband,  and he was like,  "I called that one." I wasn't going to mention it to Daughter,  because I didn't want to put my issues with weight and body image on her,  but, at dinner, that was the first thing she asked me - LOL!  And Husband told her,  "I called that."  My funny family!

I did a great upper body weights workout at home! But unfortunately, beforehand,  indulged in too much of the Husband's birthday brownies.  If it had not been for the brownies, it would have been a good eating day. 

Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/10/2021:
Oh, YUK on that gas odor!!! Glad the photo shoot went well.

I am on my recumbent bike for hours and hours everyday. Hop on first thing in morning & read the newspapers & trade etc. Get off and go downstairs for the treadmill, should do that more! Also should give that spinner another try. Burns my ass they said if accommodates down to 4’10” and I need a huge block or step stool to climb aboard.

Donkey on 03/10/2021:
Why just sit when you can bike too, right? That's kind of how I feel about it.

bearcountrygg on 03/10/2021:
Gas leaks aren't to be messed with!!! Hopefully that was resolved....and glad to hear that your photo shoot went well.......

legcramps on 03/10/2021:
I may have missed the entry about Queen Bee and losing weight...was it starting to look unhealthy / is that why you are relieved that she has not lost any more weight?

Sounds like things are getting a bit easier for you; glad you have been able to get in some good Yin Yoga and it was just what your body needed :)

Donkey on 03/10/2021:
Queen Bee is a very mean, nasty person. She's always made a big bragging deal each time she started a new diet program. It sucks when mean people are successful.

horn_of_plenty on 03/10/2021:
first i want to comment here and leave my thoughts on your lovely entry from yesterday! i'm so glad you had a good yoga session, that you are "ready" for the photo shoot (WONDERFUL!) and that you are trying to accelerate yourself into getting used to the change of clocks (smart). i have read that too, that it helps to change them a little over time...

lol, i had to laugh...how you all had to pose in a smelly room due to a gas leak....i swear, i feel like i'm watching a sitcom on tv with all the strangeness occuring at the same time like a photoshoot in conjunction with a foul smell! lol, donkey!

your funny family indeed...in terms of queen b, what comes around goes around! she's not nice so weight is not nice to her! LOL...

well, at least the brownies were good, birthdays are a wonderful time to celebrate with cake/brownies. also, i did upper body too yesterday - we rock!

Donkey on 03/10/2021:
Trying again tonight to go to bed early :-)

We do rock!

horn_of_plenty on 03/11/2021:
all i'm doing this week is sleeping as much as possible...last night, i fell asleep directly after dinner on the couch (i eat on the couch) with a guinea pig in my hand...woke up from cute Ricky (the sick pig) nipping me softly bc he wanted to go back in the cage / be off of me!

Donkey - Tuesday Mar 09, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 146.5

Oh my I'm so limited on my time this morning!  But I woke up feeling so much better today.  Yoga last night really helped.  I texted my teacher at around 11am and told her what had happened, and asked her if we could do just a Yin session, which is basically holding stretch poses for longer periods of time.  Ohhhh that was so nice!  I could feel how tight I was in my right leg.  Poses that are  normally easy and enjoyable were a little more difficult and "strained" -- that is to say, I could feel that the tension in the muscles was tighter than usual.

I did an easier bike ride this morning - not as vigorous - and I am thinking I will not go to the gym tonight.  Maybe just a light bike ride this evening or a stroll on the treadmill.  MIGHT do upper body weights at home.  I will definitely walk at lunchtime.  That felt SO GOOD yesterday, and I will do it again.  

As I told Horn, I want to start shifting my sleep to accommodate the change in daylight savings time this weekend.  I read an article this morning that it helps to start going to bed a little earlier and waking up a little earlier, each day this week, leading up to the hour change on Saturday night (to Sunday morning). 

I thought I ate well yesterday, especially at dinner! but then kind of lost it with the sweets afterwards.  It was controlled, but relied on the sugar-free gummies too much.  And had an extra chocolate Kiss.  Maybe 2 Kisses.

I'm psychologically ready for the photo shot for the office today.  It is what it is.  I am what I am.  What I really want to do is just sit back and watch Queen Bee.  I want to see if she's lost more weight, maintained, or gained some of it back.  Also, because she is such a strong personality, it's better if I just fall back and stay silent, except of course, to be kind and say hello and stuff.

Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/09/2021:
Glad your starting to feel better. Take it easy.

bearcountrygg on 03/09/2021:
I agree with your approach to Queen bee totally.....RIGHT ON!!! I'm finding that a cup of herbal tea in the evening is helping me some nights to stay away from snacks....I have several flavors so I pick something different each time and it feels kind of decedent

Jacky82020 on 03/09/2021:
Daylight savings! I totally forgot! Thanks for the reminder. Nice the yoga class went so well. YAY!

grannyannie on 03/09/2021:
We set our clocks ahead March 28th.

Maria7 on 03/09/2021:
Glad you are feeling better. I know the photo will turn out awesome!

Donkey - Monday Mar 08, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 146.5

I stayed up too late reading Twitter posts after the Meghan & Harry interview with Oprah last night. So not only am I short on time this morning,  but I woke up with awful sciatica in my right leg. So I'm moving slower.  I think I can still drive to work safely.

Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2021:
I hope you feel better!

I also watched all of the Meghan & Harry interview, I thought she was well-spoken and quite smart. I thought her answers overall were better than Harry's / more thoughtful / more thoughtful.

grannyannie on 03/08/2021:
We've seen lots of clips of the interview but we'll have to wait until tomorrow morning to watch on the station that will show it tonight at 9pm. We can replay anything on iplayer.

Sorry about the sciatica - I know it's really painful.

Donkey on 03/08/2021:
I'd be interested in your thoughts on the interview. I think you have a rather unique perspective, being an ex-pat.

Jacky82020 on 03/08/2021:
Sciatica sucks! Have it off and on, mostly off. Hope it’s better today.

bearcountrygg on 03/08/2021:
Sciatica is the worst.......I watched the interview too...interesting......and I have to wonder if Harry really is Charles son...and if that had some sort of impact on their decision.

Donkey on 03/08/2021:
Harry looks so much like Diana's father. I don't think there's any doubt that Charles is his father, in my opinion. I remember being young and thinking what a fairy tale royalty was. My goodness, what a train wreck this all turned out to be.

Maria7 on 03/08/2021:
Try to get some extra rest to get better, if you can.

Donkey - Sunday Mar 07, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 146.5

Good morning....   I didn't mention it yesterday, but Husband and I did not attend Chair Yoga on Friday, because of his GI problems.  Yesterday was awful for him, with pain and exhaustion, and nothing I could do to help that I knew of.  Finally, we tried something new, and that seemed to bring him some relief so that he could at least sleep. He took a nap, and then went to bed early, slept through the night (thank goodness).

However, because he want to bed early, I was not able to do my usual night-time routine, so my laundry remains unfolded.  Yuck.  I did not mop floors yesterday, so that remains in progress today...  I had a nice time with Daughter at the gym, though.  I did a little cardio on the elliptical and then we did an upper body circuit.  A little hot tub, a little steam room, and then home.  I relaxed with working on the puzzle a bit. I won't finish it today, but that's OK.

Ideally, I would like to go back to the gym today, to do lower body, but I'm remaining flexible on that.  I'm struggling with cramps and other things related to TOM.  So if I go, it will be for enjoyment and relaxation.

I have to prepare myself, psychologically and also wardrobe-wise, for the office photo shoot on Tuesday.  I need a combination of black, white, and dark gray.  I also need clothes that fit.  I'm 10+ pounds heavier than I was before.  To top things off, Queen Bee will be there.  I'm sure she's lost more weight, and that will be even more added tension (for me).  I'm taking your advice, and NOT getting my haircut just for the photo.  I'm not ready yet, so it will be what it will be.  And I will wear powder and lipstick for the photo.  Truth is, I'm getting older and it shows in my hair and skin.  It is what it is.  

To Do Today:

  • My laundry - fold & put away
  • Mop floors - basement (done), main, upstairs
  • Gym - lower body weights
  • Puzzle
  • Wipe bathrooms that Husband has used


Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/07/2021:
Just do the best you can and don't worry about it. I know your photo will be beautiful!

grannyannie on 03/07/2021:
Hope you hubby gets relief from his issues.

Don't stress about a photo. You'll look great! We all get older. Better than the alternative!

grannyannie on 03/07/2021:
Don't worry about mopping floors or housework. Not the end of the world if you don't have spotless house.

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2021:
i still need to do the molding of my nightguard,somethign about boiling it. of course i didn't look into it fully yet so that's my activity for tonight if i want to start wearing it!

does hubby need to have a screening of hi GI to make sure there's nothing else causing his issues that you need to attend to?

i'm sorry you didn't attend chair yoga. i loved it when i did it last Spring during the height of the pandemic.

ohhh nice. hot tub and steam room = luxurious. def take advantage!

and the least the photography color combo is great. if you don't want to stand out, mostly black always works...good luck, have fun <3 don't worry too much about what other people think as soon enough this whole photo business will be behind you. and 10lbs heavier is far better than 30+. try to stay in the mindset that you are worth it.

Donkey on 03/08/2021:
Husband has 3 tests relating to GI. He has taken 1 test, with negative results. The 2nd test is this Friday. The 3rd test is pending because he has to prep for it. It involves eating a limited diet and with him still having problems he's not ready to do that, I guess.

horn_of_plenty on 03/08/2021:
yes, i like the verbage that the nyc parks uses to call these special volunteering experiences "stewardships." they also have something called a "super steward!" haha, not for me, too much commitment.

also, yes, i should bring the pig back...and i may just bring all 3 back...and then bring the other two back for their second dose too...seems you do need two doses...i wish i brought all my pigs...i'll just work on this one, see if it fixes everything. i think mites are very hard to find / see, even with lab equipment.?i'll update you on the progress of Ricky's (my pig) healing..

Donkey - Saturday Mar 06, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 146.5

(Edited this morning to add more relaxing, enjoyable things to my "to do" list...)

Good morning!  This will not be an ideal weekend.  My husband is still struggling with GI issues, and he woke me up at 2:11am to help him with medicine.  So of course, I got a later start in the day, due to the interruption in sleep, and woke up rather exhausted.  I know it's not really in his control, but I did mention to him that if he could wake me up either at 1am or 3am, that seems to work better with my sleep cycle.  Still, I realize it's not in his control.  

I'm rather frustrated with my weigh-in.  I weighed in twice, with right foot first -- got 146.5 both times.  Then I weighed in twice, with the left foot first -- got 147.5 both times.  Tried one more time with the right foot first on the scale, and got 146.5.  So here's the thing:

  • Why on earth am I getting 2 different readings depending on what foot I use to step on the scale first?
  • Why on earth am I gaining weight when I'm eating moderately, increasing my activity level, staying active?

IDK....  I'm so frustrated and feeling overwhelmed with everything.  And right now, I DON'T NEED ANY MORE STRESS IN MY LIFE!!!

My morning so far has been consumed with helping Husband manage his pain & symptoms.  I did ride my bike - thankfully! - and I've been able to start my load of laundry, and finish up Daughter's load that she did late last night.  The floors need to be mopped but I am saving that specifically for tomorrow, so that I don't stress myself out too much today!  However, now I'm feeling like mopping might actually relax me a little bit.  So whatever works for me, to reduce my stress levels, that's what I'll do.

Anyway, especially because of my husband's problems, the bathrooms that he uses need special attention, even though the cleaning lady is coming on Monday.  (I would not ask anyone to clean a bathroom beyond the basics.  I do the scrubbing, if you know what I am saying.)

I just got Husband into bed, again, to try to catch a few hours of sleep.  I hope this time it works and he can get some sleep.

My daughter and I are planning to go to the gym today.  She tried to go yesterday, but there was a really bad accident (see my comment in Horn's entry from yesterday -- it's a short commute, but 2 dangerous zones with construction, and this accident was at the worse of the 2).

I want to work on the sailing ship puzzle.  So relaxing...  And I think I might be able to finish it today, possibly tomorrow.

To Do Today:

  • My laundry - wash & dry
  • My laundry - fold & put away
  • Puzzle
  • Fill birdfeeders
  • Spend time with my plants
  • Gym - ideally, upper body weights
  • Organize plethra of recycling for the bin, for pick-up on Tuesday.
  • Maybe take an outdoor walk around my neighborhood?

Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/06/2021:
The work stress is making you eat and gain.

Hope your husband feels better soon. A sore gut is horrible.

Strange about the scale!

Donkey on 03/06/2021:
You have a good point. I may THINK that I'm eating more moderately this week, when in reality, maybe I'm not. I'm considering getting a little notebook to log in calories via weighing foods.

I was very anxious Friday morning at work, but refrained from eating anything extra that I hadn't brought to work myself.

The sure way to help Husband feel better is to go see a doctor. He makes the appointments but by the time the doctor can see him, 2 weeks later, he's much improved. So nothing gets done.

IDK about my scale. Maybe it's time to let that go....

Maria7 on 03/06/2021:
Hope your Hubby feels better. That is wonderful that you know how to do puzzles. I cannot do that but I can play the piano. My Mama likes to draw. I guess we all have different things we can do to relax us and bring joy. I know your puzzle will be beautiful! That is nice that you got a bike ride in yesterday. Hope you have a good day today.

Donkey on 03/07/2021:
I used to play the piano - for many years! - so I know of the joy that you get from that activity. AND it is also very relaxing - well, it can be, until you get to a tricky part that you have to practice a little more, LOL. I'm kidding - even that is relaxing and enjoyable.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/06/2021:
its funny how you say people talk too much - not in my industry!...rather, not in the depts i have been in! (but i KNOW what you mean!) i bought a night guard and will try it out tonight !..i may use at work also, but try only at nights first i guess!

thank you so much for those jaw exercises.

i need to write you back for your entry today but i didn't read it yet...

Donkey on 03/07/2021:
I just realized I hadn't commented on your entry yesterday, so I'll be doing that today. It was kind of an overwhelming day for me...

Good luck with the night guard. If you find that the store-bought one works, then you may want to invest the money to have the dentist make you a professional one.

On the other hand, there's something to say about a minimal investment in the store-bought kind. Just switch it out when you want, try a different brand/type, etc. It breaks or you lose it - no biggie.

Donkey - Friday Mar 05, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Went to the gym last night and got home late in the evening.  Spent some time catching up with my daughter, so I didn't turn off the light until after 11pm.  Did not get up early, so I'm short on time, but I wanted to thank everyone for your very helpful insights on managing the work stress this week AND insights on eating & menopause.  THANK YOU!!!

Tonight is Chair Yoga with the Veterans group.  I'm looking forward to spending time with Husband. 

PS  Husband did NOT go to the gym with me.  He's going through some stuff right now, so it's whatever.  It's all good. 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2021:
i went to comment and it got deleted ugh...my fault i believe.

i'll change up my comments from what i initially was writing to benefit you more, i think. it was mostly about my workout plans and how i realize my lower body is such a short bit of exercises that i actually completed 75% of it in like 5-10 short minutes this AM. and i'm considering 1x per week lower body on workdays in the AM. i realize it's so minimal, perhaps i can find extra time in the AM to do it, and not have to ever worry about it after work...

Donkey on 03/06/2021:
Switching it to the morning might help you feel energized too. I've not been able to incorporate weights into my mornings. I would not want to, if I had to go to work right afterwards. I find it better and more effective to do them at night - if I do them at all <<<I'm getting better at that!

horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2021:
i think it's wrong your boss is bringing all that junk in so often. i would def recommend the veggie or fruit tray. fruit / veggies could last the whole week, you can keep it in the fridge after the first day, it may save you money and time on packing your own stuff, too! another perk!

Donkey on 03/06/2021:
This past week, I've been bringing an extra piece of fruit to eat. If I don't want it, that's OK, but if I do or if I'm tempted - it's there.

Also, if I'm tempted, I give myself permission to have a can of Diet Coke. I know that's not the ideal substitute, but for me, it's a real treat when I have one. I miss it, but stopped drinking Diet Coke because of the aspertame. However, when the situation is desperate, I'm willing to make that trade-off.

horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2021:
there are times when you have to wake up or early in the day make a promise to yourself that you will not let your workday stress interfere with your commitment to yourself. I have told this to myself, many a days, on my evening workout days for upper body as well as if i were attempting upper/lower in one night. I tell myself, this is the one thing for me, and i try to stick with my habits at work, drinking water around 3pm-3:15 so i can use the bathroom right before i leave at 4ish, having a small snack at 3pm also like a chocolate or two or whatever i want, to power me thru walking if i'm including walking on the commute, and the snack also gets me thru the last hour at work so i'm feeling perked up at 4pm to go home....

i snack somewhat at work and gear myself to not be unsatisfied or stressed due to food at work...i try to take a breather inbetween some tasks i do at work as well...i will do an internet search or something to clear my mind or log onto fb /instagram (on my phone, not work laptop for those lol).

i am a little better these days at moderating myself at work and trying to keep a balance so that when i go home (yes, i am still tired of course), i can get home around 5:30 on workout days, eat dinner, relax on the couch, and feel good about rousing myself back into a workout that evening. I tell myself that there's no reason i can't do it, that i have prepared to be able to fit it in.

that being said, i no longer would think to go to a gym with my current schedule as too much time is wasted in my commute (minimum 2.5 hours a day commuting without any extra walking)...and i'm not about to add gym commuting time too...it's too much for me, a person that likes to sleep! ha! so, make sure being a member of a gym is worth it to you - or understand that some days it's just easier to workout at home with gym not all the time...try to see what works for you, and understand that it's your choice and doesn't make you lazy but smart about your workout plans.

side note: i do one day hope that i may be able to go back to the gym, i would probably do additional exercises, particularly legs maybe? but for now, i'm set.

Donkey on 03/06/2021:
The commute to the gym is the main reason why I objected to joining THIS gym. It's not a long distance, but it's completely out of my way. Also, even in the short 15 minute commute, there are 2 AWFUL construction zones. Awful, as in dangerous! However, it is a lovely gym, above the "basics".

My point is, I don't blame you for saying no to a gym right now. Had we not joined, I think I'd be quite OK with my home set-up.

horn_of_plenty on 03/05/2021:
CHAIR YOGA - sounds amazing. I like it, too.

Donkey on 03/06/2021:
It's not strenuous for me, but it IS very relaxing. However, we canceled this -- we did not go. My husband was having problems again, and he felt that he was not up to it. It would not be appropriate for me to go alone, because I'm his "guest", since it's a VA program.

grannyannie on 03/05/2021:
Hope all the advice helped you deal with the stress. And it's Friday so weekend is nearly here!

When I went through menopause I thought I was having weird hormone problems. Night sweats, hot flashes, weepy. Never though it was menopause since I was 40. Went to the doctor and yep, menopause. He put me on HRT and within 3 weeks I felt soooooooo much better. I had also been quitting smoking (after 25 years) at the same time. So I was a mess!

Donkey on 03/06/2021:
I have concerns about HRT, if that is an option presented to me. I've been hearing a lot about the "bio-identical" HRT, which uses plant-based estrogens. Not all mainstream doctors go that route, though.

Donkey - Thursday Mar 04, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

Oh. My. Word.  The stress at work yesterday was just unreal.  UNREAL.  I have about 3-4 files with VERY high maintenance clients/agents that are behaving just OFF the walls.  I am SO glad that I had not planned on going to the gym last night, because I think I would have just scratched that off the list.  As it was, I went to bed (too) early, because I was feeling so fatigued. Not just mentally but also physically.  I felt beaten.

Unfortunately, when I go to bed before 9pm, I usually wake up at 2am ready to go - and that's exactly what happened.  Went back to sleep - not well - and woke up to Daughter leaving for her overtime shift at 4:33am.  Vowed to get up in 15  minutes, but that ended up being 30 minutes later. 

I DO plan on going to the gym tonight, to use the lower body weight machines, with probably either a treadmill or elliptical to warm up with.  I'm going to be p*ssed off if work is so stressful that it wipes me out from fulfilling my goal.  I will not let anything stress me out like it did yesterday, to prevent me from doing what I want to do with my *own* time.

So mindful eating was not really happening yesterday, too much, although I did resist the sugary foods at work.  The Boss was complaining that nobody was eating the iced cinnamon rolls he brought in on Monday.  He ate one.  Later, I told Male Co-Worker and Mistakes Girl that I've been sorely tempted to take a spoon, and just scrape off all of the gooey icing on the rolls and eat that, leaving the bare, scraped buns left in the tray.  They said I should do that. (Ha ha ha)  There's still half a coffee-cake from last week.  My hope is that the boss gets the message.  I don't think he will.

Overall, I did well with eating - I think - but it was not very mindful.  I did try, from time to time, to slow down at dinner. I think I did a good job with that.  Husband finished eating before I did.

Lord, give me strength to get through this day... 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/04/2021:
BREATHE>>>>>>and know that you work to live...not live to work.......work allows you to have a life.....since money is a necessity. My motto may not work for everyone but it sure worked for me.......I worked my butt off at work...gave them more than they paid me for.....made myself so reliable there that they feared they might lose me.....Every job I ever had...I quit them...and every job called me and begged for me to come back to work for them....I did return to 2 of them because they were in a pinch at the time......but ultimately...I was the one that won....because working hard during work hours made my day go by so much faster....made me feel in control of my job and they knew they could rely on me. BUT...on my way out that door every night....that job stayed there...and it was now MY TIME......and I enjoyed my time to the fullest........until I had to go back to work. Luckily I enjoyed my jobs so that made it easier..BUT...it didn't take away from the fact that they ere paying me to achieve what they needed there from me....but they were not paying me to worry about work when I was on my own time.....D had trouble leaving work at work and he ended up with an ulcer......I paid attention to that and learned that lesson......in fact on one vacation he ended up in intensive care because of it.....( that is when the ulcer was diagnosed)....nothing like being on vacation.....husband in the hospital, truck in the hospital parking lot that I couldn't drive because it was a stick shift........trailer in a campground miles away...and a 5 year old foster child that they thankfully let me bring into the hospital........if it wasn't for the help of the hospital finding me a car dealership that picked 5 year old and me up at the hospital...gave me a loaner car and pretended to do an oil change on our truck so that I could have the loaner.....I don't know what I would have done......to top it off....5 yr old and I went back to the campground that night....and when i closed the trailer door and locked it...the lock broke...and I ended up tying the doorknob to a cabinet door so that I felt safer....then discovered that the water tank was empty...so no bathroom or kitchen sink water......but we lived through it......there are a lot of irritating things that happen and at the time they seem overwhelming....but they are also the things that one day you will look back on and think..."I DID THAT AND SURVIVED IT"...and now I know that I am tougher than I thought.....and you will do that too......these are the things that make us...US...

bearcountrygg on 03/04/2021:
I also want to add that I've had plenty of failures in life...it hasn't all been roses......but those things too...make us who we are...teach us where we need to change and grow.....failures are just another way to find out what we need adjust.....so they are also helpful along the way. You are doing great.....and you will deal with whatever comes your way.....as long as you learn the lessons that the hard things teach!!!

grannyannie on 03/04/2021:
Sorry you had so much stress!!!!

Working out at the gym is great to help relieve your stress after work. Otherwise it's tempting to just say f*** it and go home and eat what you shouldn't. Then you feel guilty.

Maria7 on 03/04/2021:
That has got to be tough, resisting cinnamon rolls and iced coffee cake in the office. Would be nice if your boss would substitute fruit and veggie trays for that, instead. As for today, yes, we can count on the Lord. Take care.

Donkey - Wednesday Mar 03, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.0

 I've been getting less than 7 hours of sleep and yet still getting good sleep scores in my Fitbit. I'm also able to get out of bed in the morning more easily. Rather than *dragging* myself to the edge of the bed, I'm somehow finding the energy or motivation to just get up and get started, which is great,  because I can waste a LOT of time with struggling to get out of bed, like an hour,  sometimes more. Not recently,  though. I'll take it!

I didn't do so well with the "mindfulness" part of eating yesterday. However, I ate only the food I brought with me to work and left an orange that I just didn't get to. At around 4:30p, I thought about opening up the orange but by then it's almost time to go home.

Oh but I struggled with myself not to get into the chocolates at work. THE BATTLE CONTINUES.

I took a longer walk at lunchtime. I ate moderately at dinner,  because I had planned to go to the gym later in the evening. Which I did,  go to the gym,  but I went alone because Husband changed his mind. I could have chickened out,  but I overcame my social anxiety and inner laziness and went.  VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR OVERCOMING MY FEAR. 

I did the rowing machine to warm up,  and then upper body weights. I wasn't very organized in my routine. Just grabbed machines that I thought I could figure out how to use and that were available. The 2 back muscle machines were always occupied, so I decided just to go home. I'll do back weights here at home this morning. 

I wore my mask the whole time and cleaned everything. 

Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/03/2021:
I’m proud of you too! Well done, girl!

I like rowing machines, got a terrific used one years ago. Had another used rower before this. It croaked on me after a few years.

grannyannie on 03/03/2021:
Good job!! Yes, chocolates are so tough to resist.

Do you have to wear a mask while you are the gym? Is it a big gym? I miss mine!!! I had a very set routine I did when I went. Still did the dumbbells and floor exercises at home though.

Donkey on 03/04/2021:
It is a big gym. I wear my mask all the time at the gym. I even walked into the shower stall with my mask on! When I started the water, I was like, Oh, I need to take off my mask.

Masks are mandatory when not at your machine. However, the weight trainers go from machine to machine, so they pull their masks down, because they are constantly on a machine. Not ideal.

horn_of_plenty on 03/03/2021:
if you are borderline those 7 hours, that's not too bad for me for a day or two. but then after that I start to feel it and need more sleep.

lately i'm in the habit of taking my time to get out of bed, not sure if it's such a bad thing, feeling like i have to "warm up my brain" lately and i lay in bed waking up the the radio / talk radio...but i think it'd be better if i were sitting up out of bed using that time to watch the news, holding a piggie, is probably better and less rushed! LOL.

speaking of mindfulness in eating, i'm going to probably need to eat slower and more carefully soon because i've been indulging lately :) just because the hours are longer in my days and i've gotten used to the job, pretty much.

great job walking at lunch, i'm trying to do this also even if just around the block which is what i do these days (just to get the body moving/digesting, etc) and i'm glad you were able to get out to the gym! wonderful!

the rowing machine is great isn't it.

Donkey on 03/04/2021:
The thing is, what would work is if I went to bed at the same time and just slept in later in the morning, to get more sleep. That would cut into my exercise and DD time.

So then, I go to bed early and wake up at 2am ready to go. That's too early to start, so then I dose on and off until 5am, and I'm exhausted.

Maria7 on 03/03/2021:
Very smart about not letting fear rule you. Especially easy to do these pandemic days. But you were very smart wearing your mask and cleaning everything. Good for you.

Donkey on 03/04/2021:
I think so too. I mean, there's a fine line between being careful and courteous for others' safety, and the need to do what one has to do.

What drives me NUTS is people feel that they NEED to eat out at a bar or restaurant. No you don't. Stay home.

bearcountrygg on 03/03/2021:
Good job deciding to just overcome the fear.....!!!

Donkey on 03/04/2021:
It's the introvert in me that holds me back. And I'm probably a little Aspie (Aspburger's) too because I'm very focused on routines. Anything out of the routine is painful --- until it's not. :-)

Donkey on 03/04/2021:
Asperger's -- I can spell, but sometimes my fingers are a little clumsy in the morning.

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