I'm not in a good place right now. I've been "off" all week, with my stomach, and then the sciatica, and mentally-spiritually too. I thought about not weighing in today, but hiding from reality won't change reality, so I stepped on the scale. Again, I had different readings based on which foot I stepped onto the scale with, but overall, I seemed to average around 147.5. The 0.2 scale had me at 148.0, and that usually weighs me about a pound heavier, so 147.5 this morning it is.
The 0.2 scale shows me pretty much at the same body fat, but higher water content. That is consistent with the bloated feeling that I've been experiencing and the extra carbs I've been eating to "self-medicate". Just off altogether. Sciatica on Monday, raw throat on Tuesday (thought I was getting sick, but now I think it might be allergies), too much dessert on Tuesday, Wednesday was chocolates at work in the afternoon, and a big ol' pile of fries at dinner. Thursday and Friday were lighter days of eating, but heavy on the carbs. I am hungry, but my stomach feels heavy and bloated. Last night I had spaghetti for dinner with no meat, because it was the only thing that seemed appetizing.
And I really don't feel like talking, although I do too much of that. I just want to stay silent and keep to myself. So why am I writing here, right? I guess just to get it all out and organized. Mentally, I feel very unorganized, which prevents me from functioning optimally.
Spiritually, I feel empty. I'm sorry I'm not commenting on diaries. I just can't do that right now.
Progress as of today: 39 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!
Yesterday was so stressful at work. Lots of deadlines that weren't met, which made more work for me.
Started to feel unwell, like a sore throat. Self-medicated with too much ice cream. Went to bed early, but could not wake up early. I will try go to bed early or earlier tonight as well, although if I go to the gym, that won't happen.
Husband is getting an endoscopy at the hospital tomorrow. I just realized that this means an extremely early morning for me. I'm taking the morning off of work to help him with all that. Oh my...
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
You are one busy Donkey! Take care, my friend.
I have come to a realization about work / stress / deadlines not met. i want to say that we become creatures of habit at work. try to make sure that between your work activities you take breathers - even go on your phone to see the news or facebook or google something or look over your schedule.
the reason i mentioned the above is because that is what works for me. in order to be able to have had the somewhat more active weekends lately like the volunteering, i need to make sure i work myself up to them...and do not deplete my entire mind and energy both mentally and physically leading into the weekend. i have gotten better at that with this job...and i have been trying to get more sleep as well...but i'm getting a little better and working on "maintaining" my energy levels so that everything weekend is not just a wish to be in bed but i can accomplish things and feel better 7 days of the week and not have a weekend, every weekend, where i feel horrible because i didn't maintain any energy stores and used them all work during the workweek. I'm just saying it could be a habit that you can improve upon (or perhaps this doesn't really relate to you - but it does to me)
Get some extra rest this weekend, maybe some airborne or Vit C...i hope you feel better. I liked maria's salt water gargle tip.
I did not go to bed early, as I wanted to, so I did not get up early, to start adapting to the time change this weekend, as I wanted, but I did get up on time, so I suppose that's technically getting up early, LOL... At least it's Wednesday, and we're half way through the week.
I survived the photo shoot. Fortunately, I didn't have to take a new headshot, just group pictures, and the photographer put me in the back. During the whole ordeal, we were also dealing with a very smelly gas leak in the building, so the whole thing was literally nauseating.
But I'm relieved to report that Queen Bee did not lose any more weight. In fact, she may have gained some back.
I told my husband, and he was like, "I called that one." I wasn't going to mention it to Daughter, because I didn't want to put my issues with weight and body image on her, but, at dinner, that was the first thing she asked me - LOL! And Husband told her, "I called that." My funny family!
I did a great upper body weights workout at home! But unfortunately, beforehand, indulged in too much of the Husband's birthday brownies. If it had not been for the brownies, it would have been a good eating day.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
I am on my recumbent bike for hours and hours everyday. Hop on first thing in morning & read the newspapers & trade etc. Get off and go downstairs for the treadmill, should do that more! Also should give that spinner another try. Burns my ass they said if accommodates down to 4’10” and I need a huge block or step stool to climb aboard.
Sounds like things are getting a bit easier for you; glad you have been able to get in some good Yin Yoga and it was just what your body needed :)
lol, i had to laugh...how you all had to pose in a smelly room due to a gas leak....i swear, i feel like i'm watching a sitcom on tv with all the strangeness occuring at the same time like a photoshoot in conjunction with a foul smell! lol, donkey!
your funny family indeed...in terms of queen b, what comes around goes around! she's not nice so weight is not nice to her! LOL...
well, at least the brownies were good, birthdays are a wonderful time to celebrate with cake/brownies. also, i did upper body too yesterday - we rock!
Oh my I'm so limited on my time this morning! But I woke up feeling so much better today. Yoga last night really helped. I texted my teacher at around 11am and told her what had happened, and asked her if we could do just a Yin session, which is basically holding stretch poses for longer periods of time. Ohhhh that was so nice! I could feel how tight I was in my right leg. Poses that are normally easy and enjoyable were a little more difficult and "strained" -- that is to say, I could feel that the tension in the muscles was tighter than usual.
I did an easier bike ride this morning - not as vigorous - and I am thinking I will not go to the gym tonight. Maybe just a light bike ride this evening or a stroll on the treadmill. MIGHT do upper body weights at home. I will definitely walk at lunchtime. That felt SO GOOD yesterday, and I will do it again.
As I told Horn, I want to start shifting my sleep to accommodate the change in daylight savings time this weekend. I read an article this morning that it helps to start going to bed a little earlier and waking up a little earlier, each day this week, leading up to the hour change on Saturday night (to Sunday morning).
I thought I ate well yesterday, especially at dinner! but then kind of lost it with the sweets afterwards. It was controlled, but relied on the sugar-free gummies too much. And had an extra chocolate Kiss. Maybe 2 Kisses.
I'm psychologically ready for the photo shot for the office today. It is what it is. I am what I am. What I really want to do is just sit back and watch Queen Bee. I want to see if she's lost more weight, maintained, or gained some of it back. Also, because she is such a strong personality, it's better if I just fall back and stay silent, except of course, to be kind and say hello and stuff.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
I stayed up too late reading Twitter posts after the Meghan & Harry interview with Oprah last night. So not only am I short on time this morning, but I woke up with awful sciatica in my right leg. So I'm moving slower. I think I can still drive to work safely.
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
I also watched all of the Meghan & Harry interview, I thought she was well-spoken and quite smart. I thought her answers overall were better than Harry's / more thoughtful / more thoughtful.
Sorry about the sciatica - I know it's really painful.
Good morning.... I didn't mention it yesterday, but Husband and I did not attend Chair Yoga on Friday, because of his GI problems. Yesterday was awful for him, with pain and exhaustion, and nothing I could do to help that I knew of. Finally, we tried something new, and that seemed to bring him some relief so that he could at least sleep. He took a nap, and then went to bed early, slept through the night (thank goodness).
However, because he want to bed early, I was not able to do my usual night-time routine, so my laundry remains unfolded. Yuck. I did not mop floors yesterday, so that remains in progress today... I had a nice time with Daughter at the gym, though. I did a little cardio on the elliptical and then we did an upper body circuit. A little hot tub, a little steam room, and then home. I relaxed with working on the puzzle a bit. I won't finish it today, but that's OK.
Ideally, I would like to go back to the gym today, to do lower body, but I'm remaining flexible on that. I'm struggling with cramps and other things related to TOM. So if I go, it will be for enjoyment and relaxation.
I have to prepare myself, psychologically and also wardrobe-wise, for the office photo shoot on Tuesday. I need a combination of black, white, and dark gray. I also need clothes that fit. I'm 10+ pounds heavier than I was before. To top things off, Queen Bee will be there. I'm sure she's lost more weight, and that will be even more added tension (for me). I'm taking your advice, and NOT getting my haircut just for the photo. I'm not ready yet, so it will be what it will be. And I will wear powder and lipstick for the photo. Truth is, I'm getting older and it shows in my hair and skin. It is what it is.
To Do Today:
Progress as of today: 40 lbs lost so far, only 11.5 lbs to go!
Don't stress about a photo. You'll look great! We all get older. Better than the alternative!
does hubby need to have a screening of hi GI to make sure there's nothing else causing his issues that you need to attend to?
i'm sorry you didn't attend chair yoga. i loved it when i did it last Spring during the height of the pandemic.
ohhh nice. hot tub and steam room = luxurious. def take advantage!
and the least the photography color combo is great. if you don't want to stand out, mostly black always works...good luck, have fun <3 don't worry too much about what other people think as soon enough this whole photo business will be behind you. and 10lbs heavier is far better than 30+. try to stay in the mindset that you are worth it.
also, yes, i should bring the pig back...and i may just bring all 3 back...and then bring the other two back for their second dose too...seems you do need two doses...i wish i brought all my pigs...i'll just work on this one, see if it fixes everything. i think mites are very hard to find / see, even with lab equipment.?i'll update you on the progress of Ricky's (my pig) healing..
(Edited this morning to add more relaxing, enjoyable things to my "to do" list...)
Good morning! This will not be an ideal weekend. My husband is still struggling with GI issues, and he woke me up at 2:11am to help him with medicine. So of course, I got a later start in the day, due to the interruption in sleep, and woke up rather exhausted. I know it's not really in his control, but I did mention to him that if he could wake me up either at 1am or 3am, that seems to work better with my sleep cycle. Still, I realize it's not in his control.
I'm rather frustrated with my weigh-in. I weighed in twice, with right foot first -- got 146.5 both times. Then I weighed in twice, with the left foot first -- got 147.5 both times. Tried one more time with the right foot first on the scale, and got 146.5. So here's the thing:
IDK.... I'm so frustrated and feeling overwhelmed with everything. And right now, I DON'T NEED ANY MORE STRESS IN MY LIFE!!!
My morning so far has been consumed with helping Husband manage his pain & symptoms. I did ride my bike - thankfully! - and I've been able to start my load of laundry, and finish up Daughter's load that she did late last night. The floors need to be mopped but I am saving that specifically for tomorrow, so that I don't stress myself out too much today! However, now I'm feeling like mopping might actually relax me a little bit. So whatever works for me, to reduce my stress levels, that's what I'll do.
Anyway, especially because of my husband's problems, the bathrooms that he uses need special attention, even though the cleaning lady is coming on Monday. (I would not ask anyone to clean a bathroom beyond the basics. I do the scrubbing, if you know what I am saying.)
I just got Husband into bed, again, to try to catch a few hours of sleep. I hope this time it works and he can get some sleep.
My daughter and I are planning to go to the gym today. She tried to go yesterday, but there was a really bad accident (see my comment in Horn's entry from yesterday -- it's a short commute, but 2 dangerous zones with construction, and this accident was at the worse of the 2).
I want to work on the sailing ship puzzle. So relaxing... And I think I might be able to finish it today, possibly tomorrow.
To Do Today:
Hope your husband feels better soon. A sore gut is horrible.
Strange about the scale!
I was very anxious Friday morning at work, but refrained from eating anything extra that I hadn't brought to work myself.
The sure way to help Husband feel better is to go see a doctor. He makes the appointments but by the time the doctor can see him, 2 weeks later, he's much improved. So nothing gets done.
IDK about my scale. Maybe it's time to let that go....
thank you so much for those jaw exercises.
i need to write you back for your entry today but i didn't read it yet...
Good luck with the night guard. If you find that the store-bought one works, then you may want to invest the money to have the dentist make you a professional one.
On the other hand, there's something to say about a minimal investment in the store-bought kind. Just switch it out when you want, try a different brand/type, etc. It breaks or you lose it - no biggie.
Went to the gym last night and got home late in the evening. Spent some time catching up with my daughter, so I didn't turn off the light until after 11pm. Did not get up early, so I'm short on time, but I wanted to thank everyone for your very helpful insights on managing the work stress this week AND insights on eating & menopause. THANK YOU!!!
Tonight is Chair Yoga with the Veterans group. I'm looking forward to spending time with Husband.
PS Husband did NOT go to the gym with me. He's going through some stuff right now, so it's whatever. It's all good.
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
i'll change up my comments from what i initially was writing to benefit you more, i think. it was mostly about my workout plans and how i realize my lower body is such a short bit of exercises that i actually completed 75% of it in like 5-10 short minutes this AM. and i'm considering 1x per week lower body on workdays in the AM. i realize it's so minimal, perhaps i can find extra time in the AM to do it, and not have to ever worry about it after work...
Also, if I'm tempted, I give myself permission to have a can of Diet Coke. I know that's not the ideal substitute, but for me, it's a real treat when I have one. I miss it, but stopped drinking Diet Coke because of the aspertame. However, when the situation is desperate, I'm willing to make that trade-off.
i snack somewhat at work and gear myself to not be unsatisfied or stressed due to food at work...i try to take a breather inbetween some tasks i do at work as well...i will do an internet search or something to clear my mind or log onto fb /instagram (on my phone, not work laptop for those lol).
i am a little better these days at moderating myself at work and trying to keep a balance so that when i go home (yes, i am still tired of course), i can get home around 5:30 on workout days, eat dinner, relax on the couch, and feel good about rousing myself back into a workout that evening. I tell myself that there's no reason i can't do it, that i have prepared to be able to fit it in.
that being said, i no longer would think to go to a gym with my current schedule as too much time is wasted in my commute (minimum 2.5 hours a day commuting without any extra walking)...and i'm not about to add gym commuting time too...it's too much for me, a person that likes to sleep! ha! so, make sure being a member of a gym is worth it to you - or understand that some days it's just easier to workout at home with gym not all the time...try to see what works for you, and understand that it's your choice and doesn't make you lazy but smart about your workout plans.
side note: i do one day hope that i may be able to go back to the gym, i would probably do additional exercises, particularly legs maybe? but for now, i'm set.
My point is, I don't blame you for saying no to a gym right now. Had we not joined, I think I'd be quite OK with my home set-up.
When I went through menopause I thought I was having weird hormone problems. Night sweats, hot flashes, weepy. Never though it was menopause since I was 40. Went to the doctor and yep, menopause. He put me on HRT and within 3 weeks I felt soooooooo much better. I had also been quitting smoking (after 25 years) at the same time. So I was a mess!
Oh. My. Word. The stress at work yesterday was just unreal. UNREAL. I have about 3-4 files with VERY high maintenance clients/agents that are behaving just OFF the walls. I am SO glad that I had not planned on going to the gym last night, because I think I would have just scratched that off the list. As it was, I went to bed (too) early, because I was feeling so fatigued. Not just mentally but also physically. I felt beaten.
Unfortunately, when I go to bed before 9pm, I usually wake up at 2am ready to go - and that's exactly what happened. Went back to sleep - not well - and woke up to Daughter leaving for her overtime shift at 4:33am. Vowed to get up in 15 minutes, but that ended up being 30 minutes later.
I DO plan on going to the gym tonight, to use the lower body weight machines, with probably either a treadmill or elliptical to warm up with. I'm going to be p*ssed off if work is so stressful that it wipes me out from fulfilling my goal. I will not let anything stress me out like it did yesterday, to prevent me from doing what I want to do with my *own* time.
So mindful eating was not really happening yesterday, too much, although I did resist the sugary foods at work. The Boss was complaining that nobody was eating the iced cinnamon rolls he brought in on Monday. He ate one. Later, I told Male Co-Worker and Mistakes Girl that I've been sorely tempted to take a spoon, and just scrape off all of the gooey icing on the rolls and eat that, leaving the bare, scraped buns left in the tray. They said I should do that. (Ha ha ha) There's still half a coffee-cake from last week. My hope is that the boss gets the message. I don't think he will.
Overall, I did well with eating - I think - but it was not very mindful. I did try, from time to time, to slow down at dinner. I think I did a good job with that. Husband finished eating before I did.
Lord, give me strength to get through this day...
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
Working out at the gym is great to help relieve your stress after work. Otherwise it's tempting to just say f*** it and go home and eat what you shouldn't. Then you feel guilty.
I've been getting less than 7 hours of sleep and yet still getting good sleep scores in my Fitbit. I'm also able to get out of bed in the morning more easily. Rather than *dragging* myself to the edge of the bed, I'm somehow finding the energy or motivation to just get up and get started, which is great, because I can waste a LOT of time with struggling to get out of bed, like an hour, sometimes more. Not recently, though. I'll take it!
I didn't do so well with the "mindfulness" part of eating yesterday. However, I ate only the food I brought with me to work and left an orange that I just didn't get to. At around 4:30p, I thought about opening up the orange but by then it's almost time to go home.
Oh but I struggled with myself not to get into the chocolates at work. THE BATTLE CONTINUES.
I took a longer walk at lunchtime. I ate moderately at dinner, because I had planned to go to the gym later in the evening. Which I did, go to the gym, but I went alone because Husband changed his mind. I could have chickened out, but I overcame my social anxiety and inner laziness and went. VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR OVERCOMING MY FEAR.
I did the rowing machine to warm up, and then upper body weights. I wasn't very organized in my routine. Just grabbed machines that I thought I could figure out how to use and that were available. The 2 back muscle machines were always occupied, so I decided just to go home. I'll do back weights here at home this morning.
I wore my mask the whole time and cleaned everything.
Progress as of today: 41.5 lbs lost so far, only 10 lbs to go!
I like rowing machines, got a terrific used one years ago. Had another used rower before this. It croaked on me after a few years.
Do you have to wear a mask while you are the gym? Is it a big gym? I miss mine!!! I had a very set routine I did when I went. Still did the dumbbells and floor exercises at home though.
Masks are mandatory when not at your machine. However, the weight trainers go from machine to machine, so they pull their masks down, because they are constantly on a machine. Not ideal.
lately i'm in the habit of taking my time to get out of bed, not sure if it's such a bad thing, feeling like i have to "warm up my brain" lately and i lay in bed waking up the the radio / talk radio...but i think it'd be better if i were sitting up out of bed using that time to watch the news, holding a piggie, is probably better and less rushed! LOL.
speaking of mindfulness in eating, i'm going to probably need to eat slower and more carefully soon because i've been indulging lately :) just because the hours are longer in my days and i've gotten used to the job, pretty much.
great job walking at lunch, i'm trying to do this also even if just around the block which is what i do these days (just to get the body moving/digesting, etc) and i'm glad you were able to get out to the gym! wonderful!
the rowing machine is great isn't it.
So then, I go to bed early and wake up at 2am ready to go. That's too early to start, so then I dose on and off until 5am, and I'm exhausted.
What drives me NUTS is people feel that they NEED to eat out at a bar or restaurant. No you don't. Stay home.
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Tomorrow’s another day, Donkey. And so is the day after that and so forth and so on. Plenty of time to get back on track. Appetite is particularly difficult to control when you’re feeling lousy, be it physically or mentally. Hugs.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2021:
I'm really sorry you are not feeling your best at all. I want to tell you to listen to Jacky, time does heal, and you will get back on better footing <3 Have trust.