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Donkey - Saturday Apr 21, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

Did the right things, gained another pound...

EVENING EDIT:  It was a productive day:  legal clinic in the morning, yard work in the afternoon, laundry.  I *really* wanted to see the high school musical tonight -- it is the last one that will have any friends of my daughter's since they all graduate next month.  However, I missed the matinee this afternoon because of the yard work.  And I just felt too rushed and conflicted to go this evening, for the last performance.  "Once Upon A Mattress".  I don't know the script, other than it's based on the fairy tale, but I just love the gal who has the lead.  

Alas, I had to really dig deep and evaluate my priorities. Truth be told, after the busy and stress-filled week I've had at work and with family, I just need some calm, down time tonight.  So instead of going to the musical, I took a walk with my daughter, and we're all just chilling out here tonight, doing our own thing.

I hope to go to sleep early tonight, 9:30p tops.  

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!

graindart on 04/21/2018:
Stupid scale.

Donkey on 04/21/2018:
&*$# scale!!!

Donkey on 04/21/2018:
(and it's not just my scale, because I weighed myself on my husband's scale too...)

graindart on 04/21/2018:
Don't fall into the trap that has often got me in the past. Don't say "screw it" and just go into a full-on unhealthy eating binge due to being unhappy about things I'm not fully in control of (surrounding people, the magic scale, water retention, etc). Keep control of your food for one more week and I'd bet the scale repays you for your effort. I'm saying this as much for you, as for me. Have to keep reminding myself to keep plugging along even when temporary setbacks make me want to give up.

Donkey on 04/21/2018:
Yep, thought of you when I saw the number: "This is what Gains is talking about..."

I'm thinking it might be water retention from the consistent weight training I've been doing. Like you, I changed up my routine a bit, and also took all the movements much slower, to feel the muscles get to the point of fatigue. Thought I'd wake up really sore, but not really.

Still, I remain hopeful to start seeing some progress on the arms and tree trunk legs.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2018:
do the right things for longer D....you can do this. i'm doing it...keep on.

Donkey on 04/21/2018:
Yes, this I must do. I really haven't done too much different this week, except for the upper body weight training and lower body isometrics.

Warmer weather will bring a change in routine. I'm kind of excited to see where this summer will take me :-)

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
Just keep it up...it will adjust.

Donkey on 04/21/2018:
"Just a snapshot in time"... Yes, I will keep going. I *know* in my heart that I can do better than this.

happy-1 on 04/21/2018:
I wish you look at bodyfat, not just pounds.

happy-1 on 04/21/2018:
And that must be one heck of a highschool theater troupe if you actually want to see a play that doesn't have your kid in it!

horn_of_plenty on 04/22/2018:
It's similar to princess and the pea and very funny !!

Donkey - Friday Apr 20, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

Thank you for the very helpful feedback to my previous entry.  My time is short here this morning, but I wanted to thank you.  I hope to write more tonight regarding my insights on my son's decision, not so much what he will be doing, but rather, my reactions & pro-actions so that he is encouraged and motivated to keep moving forward.  I realize I can't make his choices for him, but I do recognize that how I act & re-act could influence him significantly.  Encouragement and kindness go a long way, sort of thing.

EVENING EDIT:  Whatever positive feelings I was having this morning have totally vanished after 9 grueling hours at work.  I think I was going to comment that if my son decides to try to re-enlist in 6 months, and USE the 6 months at home to train, that this would be motivation for me to work harder too.  I can get a pretty decent gym membership at the park district, but it's not really convenient for me to get to.  I can buy a punch-card for personal training sessions, which might be a worth investment of money for myself.

The biggest blow today came from a family arguement about my husband's eating.  You might be thinking, "I thought Donkey said she was at work for 9 hours today."  YES, you are RIGHT -- but that didn't start a HUGE flare of texts between myself, my husband, and my daughter, who caught my husband eating a pizza.  He lost (some) weight to qualify for the hip surgery, still has at least 25 pounds to go to where he can be just out of the "obese" category.  So he has supposively been trying, but I haven't seen much progress on the scale, quite frankly, since his surgery in November.

It's not so much the "cheating" with the pizza, as it is that we just had a discussion about how he needs to lose weight as there are certain physical things that are harder to do when one is so fat in front.  I have lost all of the weight that I can, which is nearly 55 pounds, and I have a bad back.  So I feel like I've done my part, now he needs to his part, and he's not.

The other thing that REALLY irks me is that he wanted a "date night" and I suggested pizza, and he said he wasn't really in the mood for pizza, doesn't really think about pizza much any more, blah blah blah.  And then this.  

So yeah, he chose a pizza over me.  That's pretty much how I see it.

My daughter went out with friends tonight - thankfully - so it was just he and I for dinner, and believe me, I did not feel much like eating, much less with him, but I did, because I was a little hungry.  I had a big salad w/croutons & dressing and a sweet potato w/butter.   I didn't want anything to do with the steak that he had prepared. WOW I hadn't realized out "beefed" out I was.  It was so nice to have a meatless meal for a change.

So now I'm thinking that I'm under no obligation to eat everything that he cooks.  He's a meat-eater. If the meal doesn't have meat, it's not a meal.  I can just have the vegetables and open a can of beans.  I think I'd like to try this more often and see where it takes me. I'm not sure how I would formulate this.  Maybe eat meat dinners 3x a week?  4?  

It's difficult, especially because the high-protein low-carb works so well for me, appetite wise (definitely helps decrease the binge eating), but every time I've tried to go vegetarian (not vegan - just cutting out the meat), it's backfired on me  BIG TIME.  And by BIG I mean, gaining weight back again.  And that's NOT going to happen again...

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
I'm sure you will all be happy to see each other....

happy-1 on 04/20/2018:
Hugs. I think if you do what you need to do for your own health and happiness, your son will too.

graindart on 04/20/2018:
I didn't know re-enlisting was an option. If so, he knows exactly what he needs to do between now and then and exactly what the requirements are. As long as he stays focused on surpassing those requirements, he should be able to do that handily in 6 months of working out from home. (In between working some local job for 6 months.)

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
I also believe that if he wants to reinlist...if that is an option...that having a job...and then working out in his spare time is a good way to go.

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
NOPE...you DO NOT have to eat something someone else makes...unless you want to.

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 18, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

It's late, for me, so this will be short.

Lunch was surreal. The original lunch with the realtor, was canceled because of the weather, but I didn't bring a lunch to work. So the attorney took the assistant and myself out to lunch. I felt like I was a third wheel on their date, lol. Had a wonderful chicken wild rice soup, half a chicken sandwich, and a small fresh fruit cup. I have other half of sandwich for lunch tomorrow.

Came back to the bad news that my son will be coming home. He was unable to pass the push up test and he is out of extensions.

So really full and bad news don't really go well together. Add in a bunch of really crazy emails, clients, agents... Well, today kind of sucked.

Didn't let that stop me from doing some additional cardio on the bike tonight and then lower body isometric. I'm determined to work on my tree trunk legs.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 04/19/2018:
Hugs. Sorry he couldn't pass the test but he will have learned a lot.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
DEFINITELY! Thank you for your kind words of solace.

bearcountrygg on 04/19/2018:
Hope you feel better today.......Your son will figure out what he is suited for...in the mean time..I'm sure you can find plenty of things for him to do around the house to keep him occupied while he is looking for a job.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
I feel very positive for my son, depending on what choices he makes for himself when he gets home. He'll be at a crossroads for his future. But that's not to say that there won't be other crossroads in his future.

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2018:
i agree, your son has learned a lot...

...there are many civil service jobs he can continue to train for: Police, Firefighter, Garbage, Court Officer, different types of police - like highway patrol, specialized, etc..

he is first a man, not a woman like myself, so he already has a better strength advantage for these tests. If he can still live at home and train himself with running and more gym strength training, he can pass those fitness entrance exams and have a job for life...something i haven't been able to achieve now 80% due to my lack of fitness. He is young, can train...get a simple job at home just to make some cash for now, and have a good job for all the years to come - if this is what he's looking for. that's just how i view the world, of course there's many other options. also, i am truly very sorry to hear your son didn't pass. but he's young and this is not the end of his life!!!!!! he can go on and he will be ok.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
See my comment below :-)

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2018:
please don't be offended by those jobs i list, that once again is how I personally view the world..i feel those are good jobs for people who are somewhat active and who'd rather not study to have other occupations.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
No offense taken- I know exactly where you're coming from. And my son would agree that he's no academic. At least not right now he's not. So the jobs you mentioned are more suited to him. More of a doer than a thinker.

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2018:
oh and not desk jobs.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
(LOL - agreed!)

graindart on 04/19/2018:
Good job pushing on with your cardio. While you can't control the other aspects of the life around you (work, son, etc), control of your own health is mostly up to you.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
Thank you - and good point! Some days I think cardio is the only thing keeping me sane. At least it helps dissipate the anxiety.

Maria7 on 04/19/2018:
Think of the Serenity Prayer. That is what I do a lot and it really helps me to look at things in perspective. Have a good evening.

Donkey on 04/20/2018:
That is a really good idea. I have a coin by my desk that has the Prayer on it. It caught my eye last night. I'm going to do what Happy does with her meditations: holding the coin, reciting the prayer and just let it sink in.

Donkey - Tuesday Apr 17, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

Today was a MUCH better day. Unfortunately, my boss did not have a good day today.  I even commented that I was sorry that it seemed as though he had "caught" the bad day I had yesterday.

So I had a very good workout this morning -- had my Fitbit on my shoe to count my bike strides.  (The Charge HR that I have can't distinguish different types of workouts -- one of the downsides of the model I have, which is why I really want to upgrade, but I'm not ready to let this one go yet.)  Did pretty well eating wise.  Excellent on the water intake.

My one co-worker who is an older male (but not one of the attorneys) noticed my new pants:  "Oh,  you're wearing pants that fit!  What are you, a size 0?"  I know that sounds kind of catty, but this time, it didn't honk me off, because I think he really meant this as a congratulations/way-to-go thing.  Two weeks ago, he saw me looking quite unhappy when I realized that the pair of old pants I was wearing would no longer work and had to be retired, which is what prompted me to buy new pants in the first place.  So I didn't tell him what size I am (but I will tell you:  8 petite), but told him no, it's an actual number that's even.

Funny thing, two days of wearing pants that fit and Queen Bee hasn't said a WORD.  I'm not sure if she hasn't noticed or if she has noticed and just opted not to say anything -- which is FINE by me.  The skeptic in me thinks she has opted not to say anything, because she usually notices EVERYTHING.

Tomorrow, I am going out to lunch with one of the attorneys and another assistant, to meet up with a real estate agent who just had a major heart attack.  This is for marketing purposes.  So I got the name of the restaurant and just looked up the menu online -- it's a sports bar - ugh! - which means bar food.  Great.  Well, maybe I'll get a salad...

I'm going to do some weight training and then get ready for bed.  No staying up late tonight for me - everything seems to go better when I get more sleep.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

graindart on 04/17/2018:
Glad your day went much better today. Like you said, I'm sure your older male co-worker meant that as a compliment and probably has no idea what sizes women actually wear.

happy-1 on 04/17/2018:
You could always tell the queen bee "It must be nice that she wears stretchy pants. They are always so forgoving when we put on a few extra pounds. Very few people have said anything."

You know, if you are evil like me.

horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2018:
I agree 100% with Grains! He was just totally 100% complimenting you on your new pants and their look on you! Don't be embarassed, take the compliment! When you take a compliment, it will make you feel GREAT - which is SO DESERVED on your end! :)

you don't need to apologize for your boss getting sick...it may have been from you or it may not have! :)

stay strong, J donk!

Great job on your exercise and good luck at the lunch today!

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
Well ...it sounds like Queen Bee has her nose out of joint.......hahahaha

Donkey - Monday Apr 16, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

Not a good start... My back was stiff, so getting up took too long. Didn't want to face the snow but there it is. Not much, just enough to make things messy. Started riding my exercise bike and almost 10 minutes in, realized I didn't move my Fitbit from my wrist to my shoe (to register steps), so I lost about 10 minutes worth of steps for my daily count. Then, had to interrupt my workout to use the bathroom, and didn't make it back on my bike soon enough so I lost all my stats, and had to start over. Can I just go back to bed and hide?

EVENING EDIT:  Oh my word, you would not believe the crap that was waiting for me at work this morning, after I wrote what I did.  Here's a sample:

  • Plumbing work done over the weekend - broken toilet parts and tools left all over the place.
  • Pushy client came in at 9:20a WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT to talk about her son's contract.  Client is foreign and very difficult to understand, wants everything at a discount.
  • 41 emails waiting for me while I'm dealing with the pushy client.

The best thing about today is that I got through it.  I'm charging my Fitbit now, and then I will go upstairs to get ready for bed and watch TV with my husband.  I'm supposed to do upper body weights but I think a day of rest will do me better mentally and physically.

Besides, I think I've proven to myself enough already today that I am strong enough to survive a day like today.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/16/2018:
Hope you have a good day. Hope you feel better. :-)

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2018:
YUP...there it is...here too. Still coming down...apparently another 6 inches of snow by daylight tomorrow. Hope you day goes by quickly!

happy-1 on 04/16/2018:
Hugs. I am right there with you on the day of rest doing me better mentally and physically. I looked at the clock and it was 5pm before I knew it and I hadn't even drunk my one cup of coffee that was sitting in front of me.

horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2018:
with the missing recording the workout, needing the bathroom, losing your stats...don't worry - you've hopefully learned a lesson and you can try to remember with reminders or just remember the importance to move the fitbit to your shoe and perhaps use the bathroom before you start the exercises next time...

The point is to do the exercise - this you did...the recording and everything else is secondary. We all make mistakes and learn from them! Twice, i have walked into a turnstyle (once at work - bc we have to swipe into the building! and once at the train to swipe and walk thru a turnstyle to the subway train)...i just walked into it and that hurt and i realized - "duh! swipe your card dummy!"...so...we all make a mistake and that's how we learn! so your experience this morning has taught you some things you def will change for the next time...next time you go to the bathroom you can even write down your numbers that you were up to - if you need to get off the bike midway! :) there's ways around it - so the same thing doesn't happen again!

A much better end to your day...remember - work is one of the games of life...and you are good at it.

Donkey on 04/17/2018:
100% Correct - and that is what I tried to keep in mind yesterday, especially last night when I synced the Fitbit for total counts for the day. I made my goal, but just barely. I had to remind myself that it was actually a better day than what the numbers showed, because I had done more.

And actually, it was a better day than that because my day shouldn't be defined by a number. :-)

Donkey - Sunday Apr 15, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

 The weather here in Illinois has done nothing for encouragement.  Woke up to icy rain.  The trees in the backyard were covered with ice and we lost a major branch that will need trimming down and chopping up.  Guess who will do that, since Mr. Donkey can't do things like that any more...  Then it started to snow.  So we have ice covered with snow, covering everything.  My neighbor down the block commented to me that the wind last night knocked down a stop sign at the corner.  Totally flat to the ground.  This is ridiculous.

I will write more when I'm in a better place, mentally.  This weather just has me beat.

Took a half-nap - rested with my eyes closed but not really asleep - and then had another workout, just to be moving. It feels good to move.  Then I rested while I knitted in the afternoon when the TV reception came back (lost most of our channels due to the ice/snow).

Developed an upset stomach right before dinner, but that didn't stop me from having my last piece of birthday cake and some ice cream.  I've got my water bottle to finish, some mint tea to drink (for my tummy), and then some seltzer water -- all to drink before I go to bed.  

PLUS I forgot that I still have my leg exercises to do.  I'm determined to get my legs toned up after I had daughter take front and back pictures this weekend to prove to myself that I really do have tree trunk legs.  I do.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/15/2018:
Your weather sounds like our weather....so we are getting sleet after our rain..on top of our snow and ice....it just doesn't seem to stop...

Donkey on 04/15/2018:
They are saying after Monday, we'll have moderate temperatures in the low 50s. I'm not sure I believe that quite yet. ;-)

happy-1 on 04/15/2018:
Would you trade with me? I've got oppressive heat and dryness even though it's only April... and zero shade. And all my plants are dead.

happy-1 on 04/15/2018:
I feel like that branch is meant for some broke teen on your block to make $20.

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2018:
I'm thinking keep that broken limb for your son to work on if he gets home in the near future......chain saws can be pretty dangerous...my Mom bought herself a little one and she scared ME half to death when she used it........they can kick back and do terrible damage.

horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2018:
TEA is so good ... i used to be a major tea drinker...but haven't been drinking it regularly in a couple years now...

sorry about your weather, our weather is also chilly but not snowy just rainy...it will warm up...i've been moving more also - even though it sorta tires me out to move, it's been better and i feel better by the end of the weekend.

Donkey - Saturday Apr 14, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

Woke up this morning only to find that Mr. Donkey had been up most of the night with back pain from his AS, mostly due to the weather, I'm guessing.  Cold, wet, VERY windy weather, so no desire to be outside today whatsoever.  However, I think I'd like to take my daughter to the store to get bird seed and salt for the water softener.  Maybe she'd like to stop for coffee, too.

This past week, I've used the new recumbant bike for my morning workouts a few times, although I still love my old recumbant bike the best, even though it's very noisy and doesn't offer much resistance.  I notice with the new bike, I sweat.  Not a lot, like I used to in my old gym days on the elliptical, but definitely more than when I use the old bike.  So why do I still use my old bike? It's great to use just to get me moving and limber.  As I get older, my workouts don't have to be bustin' all the time. 

I plan to ride a little more later this afternoon and do some weights.  I could have done weights this morning, but decided I would rather have breakfast and write here, and save a workout for later.

I wore my new pants yesterday and they were so comfortable!  So I have no fears about wearing the other pairs to work at any time, Queen Bee be damned. 

I almost feel sorry for Queen Bee, if she weren't so obnoxious and mean.  She has tried so many times to lose weight and invested quite a bit of money to no avail.  I'm sure she's heard so many times that she has a beautiful face, if she'd only lose some weight.  Her mom is a very tiny woman (works hard at it) and her dad is tall and lean.  So I'm sure some of her comments to me about clothes that don't fit, or the vegetables that I eat, or new pants (comments anticipated) stem from envy and insecurity.  And I'd have more pity if she just weren't so nasty about everything.

Anyway, enough energy today thinking about her and work.  Even though I don't have much planned for today, I DO plan to make it a nice day with things that I like to do:  knit, read, get laundry done, spend time with daughter, sit with my husband as he catches up on his sleep. 

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
Awww....Hope your hubby feels better......are you getting the same weather we are? I too like to go back and use old familiar equipment.....something about the familiarity is nice...like a comfy old pair of shoes..... I think you answered the question about your coworker...she is jealous.....I'm happy to hear you are comfy in the new pants at work......she will lose when she gets it...if she never gets it...then she will have to live with it...but don't let her dim your shine.

happy-1 on 04/14/2018:
Sometimes I think that when I was fatter anyone doing better for themselves made me feel guilty and angry and although I don't think I was mean about it... there's definitely an element from what you say she does that is about "keeping you down on the farm". Especially if you are all at an employer that doesn't provide health coverage... it fosters that culture.

Maria7 on 04/14/2018:
Nice plan for today.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2018:
Excellent plans for the weekend with family and doing things that will make you happy. I'm planning also on a coffee today! Lately, i'm enjoying more coffee :) enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Donkey - Friday Apr 13, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

Do the right things, gain weight... *sigh*

Queen Bee took today off, so I will take this opportunity to wear my new pants. This will allow me to get used to the form fitting fit, so that I'm in a stronger place when I wear them and she's making her obnoxious comments.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/13/2018:
But remember what i said - try to be your own person even when she's there...how's her body, btw?

I'm glad you wore your new pants!

Happy Friday!

bearcountrygg on 04/13/2018:
The same thing I just said to HOP...It's normal...the scale is just a snapshot in time.

Maria7 on 04/13/2018:
Hope you have a good day.

jayhawkjen on 04/14/2018:
New pants, yay!!!

Donkey - Thursday Apr 12, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

It is my daughter's birthday today!!!  She is 18 years old - WOW, how did THAT happen?

Woke up early today on my own - that's a good sign of a great day!  Had a great workout, probably going to leave early to get to work early.  Warm and sunny out :-)

While exercising, I was thinking about adversity and dealing with disappointments in life, how it's important to keep trying, no matter what, and that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

We have not heard from our son, so maybe he managed to get himself another week to try to pass.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes for my daughter.  I baked her cake tonight -- oh my, the house smells SO heavenly.  Yes, this is what Heaven must smell like:  freshly baked yellow cake.  If Love had a smell, this would be it.  

I may not get around to frosting/decorating until tomorrow morning, because the cake has to be completely cool.  I'm sure there's short cuts, but I don't want to mess this up by rushing it.

Today was the last of the warm weather without rain/snow.  I had a wonderful walk at lunchtime.  I'm really surprised my final step count wasn't higher for the day.

I've been sticking to my plan to update FitBit at the end of the day.  I seem to hit 10 or 11 of the 12 days with enough steps.  So close!  But it's better this way, to help keep me sane.

I will do my best to remember to weigh in tomorrow morning.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/12/2018:
Very true...and Happy Birthday to your daughter.

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2018:
Yes, your son can still do something like train to be a PO or something? Apply to be a firefighter if it's paid...all the civil service jobs are good....a court officer makes ok money too...if he leaves that first opportunity, even garbage men around here make GREAT money. just saying. civil service jobs seem good...he's still have to exercise but he's young enough to be able to actually get fit quicker i think than me at least.

I agree with what you wrote below...

Happy bday to your daughter...18 sounds so young to me...but that's definitely a milestone! :)

But, if he wants to train to do one of those jobs, he has to also work in a field that's on his feet, i'd say, is preferable to a desk job...

i hope though he just passes the pushup test.

horn_of_plenty on 04/12/2018:
sometimes, the adversity and disappointments are what cause us to become stronger...usually that's the case anyways.

trishpiglet3 on 04/12/2018:
Happy Birthday to your daughter! :) Major achievement raising a child to be an adult

Maria7 on 04/12/2018:
Happy bd to your Daughter. :-)

happy-1 on 04/12/2018:
What about fire inspector? https://www.firescience.org/how-to-become-a-fire-inspector/

Happy birthday to your daughter!!!!

Good job cougar mom!

Donkey on 04/12/2018:
"cougar mom" - LOL :-) You help me really look at myself in different ways. THANKS!

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 11, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

So.... as you know, my son did not pass his push-ups test today.  He had a meeting at 2pm this afternoon with his training instructors.  We thought we might get a call this afternoon with instructions on when to pick him up at the airport tomorrow, but we haven't heard from him.  So maybe we'll hear from him tomorrow?  IDK... he will come home to no job, no medical insurance, no car insurance, and no car.  All of that has been changed and can't be changed back easily or at all - especially the medical insurance!  Well...  failure is an opportunity to challenge yourself.  Lord knows I've hit rock-bottom myself more than once in my life.  It will just be difficult.

I was pretty much useless at work after I got this news.  Finally told my boss at 4pm so that he would know why I just couldn't deal with some of the files that needed help. I need to go to bed and start a new day tomorrow.

I almost weighed in this morning, but didn't because it's a Wednesday.  I'm not sure I want to weigh in tomorrow, as I did not eat much because the news put a damper on my appetite.  I did not have my 2nd breakfast --- yes, I'm a Hobbit --- and I did not have my second piece of fruit, didn't finish my broccoli, didn't snack on my raw vegetables.  Oh, what I did have was the rest of a small bag of Jelly Belly's that one of the agents gave as a gift.  That was about 150 calories.  I don't want to weigh in on my usual Saturday because dinner on Friday will be salty, and there will be cake for my daughter's birthday.

That's how much my weight fluctuates.  Having a special dinner or dessert can really sway the numbers in a big way that isn't very reflective of where I actually am overall.  Very frustrating.

So my plan for tonight, to get through it:  a little cardio to warm up, upper body weight training, shower, tv, bed.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/11/2018:

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