Day 6 of Mission completed.
Today will be a struggle though. On top of the stress of moving and the cold outside, now it is snowing, making driving on the roads miserable. I was to drive to the new school district offices today to register the kids for their new schools. But with the roads as they are -- and an unexpected detour to Husband's work to drop off his lunch that he left at home! -- I decided that after stopping off at the new house (to drop off frozen food and dry goods), I would just come home, rather than try to adventure out to some unfamiliar place in weather conditions such as this. I will do it tomorrow, when there is no snow forecasted. (ha ha, this snowfall wasn't expected until this evening and it decided to show up in the morning! But hopefully the weather will cooperate tomorrow.)
I am worried about my poor Betta fish. His small tank is not heated and the water feels rather chilly. I put his gallon tank in the powder room, with the door shut and the light on. That room gets nice and warm with the door shut like that. I would buy him a bigger tank with a heater but I hesitate to spend the money required to do so.
I weighed in this morning, and my weight has remained the same. If I could maintain at this level until the moving is done, then I can start chipping away aggressively at those last 10 pounds. I feel like my whole life is on hold until after the move. Actually, my life has been in a "holding pattern" since 2005, maybe 2002 even. So another week or 2 shouldn't be that difficult to endure, right?
EVENING UPDATE: I find out from Husband tonight that our move will be delayed from this Friday/Saturday to Monday. *sigh* My first reaction was to reach for the cheese crackers (Cheez-Its). Fortunately there weren't many of them left. Other than them, I have done reasonably well, with the exception of too much coffee / not enough water. Hey, we all have our vices and today, mine was coffee. Boy did I ever need a vice today, that's for sure. I hope to go to bed EARLY tonight.
Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
Day 5 of Mission completed. I had many reasons and opportunities to eat yesterday but chose not to do so. I was rewarded with a weight loss on the scale this morning.
Although the kids are no longer feverish, the schools are closed today because of the cold weather. Now isn't that just too ironic?
Just a short diary entry for now.
EVENING UPDATE: Doing reasonably well. I think we made it to a high of 3F today. That is not counting the wind chill.
Eating has gone well, but I realize that I am a "Picker" eater, especially when it comes to my kids' food. Having a bowl of crackers? Let me taste one (or 2 or 3). Want apple slices? Let me eat to the core and then pick a slice or two for myself. Finished your apple pie? Here, I'll finish the crusts for you - both. I guess I'm not a "Picker", I'm a "Finisher".
I should change my name from Donkey to Finisher.
I could save myself a lot of calories by NOT doing this behavior. However, I think it helps me feel somewhat satisfied without having to eat the whole item. For example, a taste of pie, without eating the whole slice. A taste of crackers without eating a bowl-full. On the other hand, I'm essentially eating food scraps. Garbage. I eat garbage. I am what I eat.
Hmm. I'm going to have to work on that one, it seems.
Tomorrow I have a **HUGE** stress event for me. I have to register the kids for their new school. This is extremely difficult for me. I have to drive to an unfamiliar location (yes, did the Mapquest thing; hopefully I won't get too flustered or panicked). Then I have to interact with strangers face-to-face. AND I have to pay the registration fee. So three big ones for me: 1. unfamiliar driving, 2. stranger confrontation, 3. paying money. All this and it's soooo cold outside. Brrrr.
So all I have to do is get through this evening, and face tomorrow like the grown-up that I pretend to be.
Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!
My car got a jump today and I let the battery recharge for awhile, so I hope it starts up tomorrow so that I can workout at last! Tomorrow will be weigh-in day too...hope it's good!
Day 4 of Mission completed. No bingeing for 4 days and I also remembered to weigh-in this morning. I kinda hoped I'd see a lower number.
My main problem seems to be with snacking, especially in the afternoon. You might think, Just have a small snack to hold you over until dinner. Makes perfect logical sense to me. Unfortunately, one snack seems to lead to another to another.
My daughter still has a low temperature. I am coughing. But I think we'll be ok. Now if it would just warm up a bit outside....
Tonight is a dangerous time for me. I believe the Husband wants to order pizza for dinner. But then he has to go to bed early because he needs to wake up at 1a to go into work early. I have a LOT of trouble when he does this. First, this leaves all of the bedtime prep for the kids up to me. Secondly, on some level -- silly as it may seem -- I feel abandoned and lonely. Third, I have to keep the kids, cats and myself quiet so that Husband can sleep. It's no great joy for Husband either. He was very upset when he found out he'd have to do this for work.
So I hope that I can remain strong for tonight. If I can get Day 5 under my Bingeless Belt, I will be happy with that.
Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!
I was just curious since we have almost the same amount of weight to lose - how tall are you? I'm only 5'2" and I feel like it makes my weight more frustrating to me because I constantly think, "If only I were 3 inches taller, my weight would look PERFECT!" The only thing that really bothers me is that feeling of your stomach lopping over your jeans when you sit down...ugh I HATE that feeling...
I was also wondering if you are from IL as well. OK that's it! Have a good night : )
Day 3 of Mission completed. But I forgot to weigh-in this morning. Hey, I needed my coffee.
Last night (Friday night) was the first time in a long time (since Dec. 21st) that I felt like I could do this. And what's funny is that last night's dinner was exactly like Thursday's dinner, except that Friday, I did the right thing, and Thursday I blew it.
Thursday night: 4 slices of thick crust veg. pizza & 1 cup Jelly Belly jelly beans.
Friday night: 2 slices of thin crust veg. pizza & 1 piece of bittersweet dark chocolate (63% cacao, 70 cals).
I finished my sweet, did some evening clean-up and went upstairs to get ready for bed. I felt satisfied and in control. I wish I could eat moderately like this every night. And keep my pre-dinner snacking under control as well.
Today my kids are feeling much better. My son is good to go, and my daughter's temperature is now back down to 100.2. Unfortunately, she and I have a nasty cough. I cough all the time now, it's very annoying. So it's a good thing I don't work in an office or a library right now. Still it's very annoying.
I plan to drive down to the new house with my pots and pans. Husband says, "Does this mean we get to eat out for the rest of the week?" NO! I'm saving one small baking pan and 1 med. sauce pan. Plus I'm not taking my containers. So we can have anything that is microwaveable, or boilable. with the one baking pan, we can still use the oven as long as it's not a lot. I'm also finishing up dry/canned goods here in the house as well.
I think today will be a good day. At least the kids are getting better. It's going to be a very cold weekend here. I look forward to putting another binge-less day under my belt.
EVENING EDIT: Still trying, but I have a terrible cold/cough and I seek to comfort myself with food. I did not do so well with afternoon snacks (darn Cheez-Its) but I did very well with dinner (resisted finishing up the kids' pizza - 2 slices!), had my piece of chocolate and I am trying to further resist eating any more for tonight. Darn coughing though... I wish it would stop!
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
Anyway, it looks like you're really building up some momentum--I hope it continues! And I hope you all get to feeling better as well!
Be sure to get some rest in between!
I would love to get an exercise bike, my dad has one in his shed but it is too heavy for me to drive in my car and they live so far away. Perhaps I'll run into someone who has a truck some day..or I'll just rent a little moving truck for the day and see if anyone else needs anything moved while I'm at it lol.
As far as the uniform...I agree. I've never been one to fall over a guy because of his uniform lol. I've seen them in and out of uniform and it's the same guy all the way around lol.
Day 2 of Mission completed .... sorta.
I did not binge last night either, but I way overdid it at dinner time. And you would think that would be enough, but then I had quite a few Jelly Belly jelly beans last night too. So while I feel that I did not techinically "binge", I walked that fine line mighty close. Certainly not my best effort.
We had a late dinner, and my husband, who is a total meat-eater, obliged my way of eating. He was going to pick up Chinese food at the grocery store deli for us, but since they didn't have anything vegetarian, he bought 2 vegetarian pizzas instead, and we had one last night.
However, I paid for my pizza indulgences today in the bathroom. It almost felt like the stomach flu I had last year. When this happens, I always tell myself that I MUST treat my stomach much kinder. Why do I continue to abuse my poor body?
I did weigh in this morning. I am essentially back at 138.5 but I will not change my Progress Bar until tomorrow, if I should still weigh 138.5. Giving myself a chance to redeem myself.
The kids are both still sick. My son has a temperature of 102.4 but felt good enough to have breakfast, take a shower ("to help me feel better") and make a get-well card for his little sister. My daughter had a temp of 104.4 but I think it's down to about 103.0 now (hopefully).
So I am home with both kids, while my husband is at the house trying to get the phones hooked up. So far, he has done the majority of the moving of boxes, although to give myself credit, I did most of the packing. Still, I know he's not feeling 100% either. I do feel guilty. I do not know how much moving of boxes I will be able to do over the weekend. We are expecting frigid cold temps and my daughter (and probably my son) should not be out in the cold at all. Even being in the car is probably not a good idea, when it's this cold out. So I don't know.
At least I don't feel so guilty for not being at the gym. So there is one saving grace.
If the weather would just warm up a bit...
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
It's very sweet of your husband to go vegetarian with you last night. My husband is also a meat-eater, but he likes going vegetarian with me once or twice a week, as he says he feels healthier. So maybe this could be a good thing for your husband, too.
I'm sorry your kids still aren't feeling well, though. I do hope your daughter's temperature goes down soon.
Thanks for your comment, but I must disagree - go COLTS!!
It is FREEZING cold here as well and only going to get colder. UGH, winter.
Take care and you really are doing great!
Day 1 of mission completed.
I am happy to report that I did not binge last night at all. Dinner was very satisfying and I had a square of Lindt dark chocolate to top off the meal.
However, last night, both kids went to bed with fevers. They were up at 3:52am this morning with various flu problems. My son was feeling sick to his stomach and my daughter sounded like she had croupe. Very congested, little one. So I ran a hot shower and had her sit in the bathroom. Her temperature was 102.0 (F) and his temperature was 104.1 (F). I apologize to the Europeans and Canadians here who go by the metric system. I am not very good with temperature conversions. Pretty good with distances though (probably because of running). At any rate, that is pretty sick.
I'm not sure how they do things on the East coast (NY) or in Europe, but I think 4am is kind of early to be waking up.
So I had planned to get in lots of activity today by packing and unpacking my car with boxes to take to the new house. That probably won't happen like I planned, since I think the kids should stay indoors and rest in bed. Hopefully, though I can get boxes packed here at home.
I did not weigh in this morning as I had hoped. Waking up so early, first thing I did was take care of the kids and then I poured myself a cup of coffee.
I am a little concerned. I had breakfast early (for me) so my eating schedule is off. I will probably eat a morning snack. I hope snacking doesn't do me in, today. Let's see if I can get a Day 2 of my "mission" completed, eh?
I MUST STAY STRONG!!!
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
I remember 2 yrs ago my son (who was only 1 and a half at the time) and my daughter and my husband all woke up within minutes of each other and all three of them were vomitting. What are the chances of that happening! Thankfully there was one able body (me!!) to run kids to the bathroom, change bedding etc etc. It was awful! One of the kids would start vomitting so I would run in and within 30 sec the other one would start. I ended up sleeping (or trying to between all the upset tummies) on the floor beside my son's crib with a bowl. Everytime he stirred or whined I would sit him up and stick a bowl under his face, my poor husband who was also running to the toilet himself, had my daughter in bed beside him and was trying to take care of her because I couldn't be in two places at once and I was running out of clean bedding!! Hope that wasn't to descriptive and gross!!
I know what you mean by getting up early and being off your usual schedule. I had that problem yesturday. I did end up going over on my calories because I did a little to much snacking. I ate breakfast at 7:00 am and I was ready for lunch by 10:30 am!! I hope it works out better for you.
I am Canadian but I'm used to making those conversions because I have been working for an American based company for almost 11 yrs now. I'm likely more familiar with your way because when I was working full time I was working out everything American style. I mostly dealt with American customers all day. A fever of 102 and 104 F are pretty high temperatures, your poor kids must have been feeling awful!
I hope your able to get some of that packing done and hopefully your kids are feeling better!!
Thanks for your advice on my knee. I am not planning to run today as I don't do it two days in a row. In fact I wasn't planning to run again until Saturday, but I had wanted to run 10 miles on Saturday, and I'm kind of worried about that. It was at around this point in my training for my last half-marathon that I hurt my knee pretty badly, had to take two weeks off, did the race anyway and never fully recovered.
Well, I hope the kids feel better soon. Good luck with the packing!
No weigh-in today. Today the moving begins and the bingeing stops. Well, it's good to have a dream. But seriously, I am hoping that now that my "anxieties" will becoming reality, that my anxiousness will dissipate. Hence, my urgent feelings of needing to binge ("sugar fix") will no longer exist, although, I may need a week or 2 of detox (i.e. South Beach phase 1).
I am seriously considering what "Born to Cry" has suggested, about needing to eat more because of the vegetarianism. I think that's very valid. I feel full because the meat just sits in my stomach and takes a long time to digest. As she says, I cannot have just an apple because it sends my blood sugar all over the place and I end up feeling hungrier or shakey or what have you. I may have to go back to eating fish and poultry and lean cuts of beef. I do not think I could return to eating ground beef. I feel bad that the vegetarian thing might not work. I feel like a failure (what a perfect excuse to binge, eh?).
Today was supposed to be my last day at the gym. Unfortunately, my daughter came down with a fever last night and this morning it was even higher. So she is home with me today; so no gym. Lucky little 6 yr old gets to come to a 2-hour house closing meeting with me today. That should be real fun. At least she's not having bathroom issues (one way or the other) that I/she would have to contend with.
It is just as well that today is no gym. Good-bye's are incredibly difficult for me. I only told 2 people that I was moving and both of them were women (my friend -- who I fought with last week, and the "Judy" who is a physical therapist at the gym). I exercise with the senior citizen guys and I don't think I could say good-bye. Especially "George" who was almost like a father-figure to me, as much as one can be at the gym.
I was finding it increasingly difficult to exercise at the gym too. My motivation was down in the toilet. Anything I did there was such a chore. I get like this every so often, where I need a break from the gym. Well, now I have one that's for sure. And so hopefully, when I'm settled, I will be *wanting* to go back to a gym and WORK on myself.
FIRST EDIT: Just had lunch, my usual. I am killing time until we leave for the walk-through inspection of the house and then go to the closing. I notice that today, I am able to resist eating so much. So yes, some days, I don't eat as much as other days. It's a very scary day when I wake up and WANT to eat.
SECOND EDIT: Just finished my VEGETARIAN dinner. I ate heavier than usual (rice, beans, not so many vegetables) but feel confident that I can get through the evening without bingeing. Of course, the fact that we closed on the house this afternoon -- and that it went well -- is a HUGE relief off my mind. Yes, now the hard part of moving all our stuff comes, but that's ok. It will keep me busy and provide some exercise/activity since I am gym-less right now. The gym thing doesn't bother me either, because my daughter is still running a fever; she will be staying home tomorrow from school.
My only goal for today (other than to get through it) is to not binge tonight.
My only goal for tonight is not to binge. (yes, repeated)
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
Of course, it's your decision, but I owe it to my conscience to tell you that you do have other options! There are other ways to feel full on a vegetarian diet. You could include vegetarian sources of protein like low-fat cheese, yogurt, beans, etc. Even oatmeal works pretty well for me. Or you could go with the volumetrics approach. A big bowl of soup or a huge plate of steamed vegetables is bound to fill you up, with very few calories, and lots of nutrients! I don't even like soup all that much, but last winter I went on a soup craze, trying out dozens of new recipes, and I could generally have two or bowls for 300 calories. And I was totally stuffed afterwards. Or I'd have a whole head of broccoli with a small sweet potato - stuff like that. I had to cut down on vegetables because I have IBD, otherwise I'd go with this approach any day!
I hope the moving goes smoothly. I am sure you will feel much less stressed once this is over. I also binged a lot and gained a couple of pounds when I moved into my new apartment just over a year ago. So I feel for you!
And I'm glad I'm not the only one who wakes up and wants to eat right away. ;)
Also I hear you on the motivation/gym thing...my eating is going fine but any spare minutes I have I want to spend sleeping or doing homework, not working out!
I'm not even going to finish yesterday's entry. Done is done, yesterday is over.
Made it to the gym today, but only did the hour of cardio (plus 15 minutes of cooldown -- 3 machines, each one with a 5 minute cooldown). No weights today.
Tomorrow we're closing on the new house, so I'm just trying to get through today.
Breakfast - 1 cup All Bran, 1 cup light vanilla soy milk
AM Snack - 1 med yellow apple, 1 cheese stick (80cals)
Lunch - High fiber taco w/vegan "meat", 1/4 cup salsa, lettuce; 4 carrots; 1 Lindt chocolate
PM Snack - air popped popcorn, 1 apple, 1 cheese stick
Dinner - 1 cup whole grain spaghetti w/spaghetti sauce; 1/2 cup chick peas (garbanzo beans); 2 cups steamed vegetables; parm cheese; 1-2 oz part skim moz. cheese; 1/2 cup frozen raspberries
Dessert - 1/2 cup ricotta cheese dessert (South Beach Diet recipe)
Progress as of today: 0.5 lbs lost so far, only 13 lbs to go!
After a horrible eating weekend, I have decided to start over again. I refuse to give up this battle. I'm going to keep fighting tooth and nail to get this weight off. As you can see I have adjusted the Progress Bar to reflect my "new start".
I refuse to give up. I'm not going to let this past weekend stop me or bring me down. Each day is a new opportunity to take care of myself and to nurture myself in ways other than excess nutrition. This whole moving thing will not take me back to 2005 when I relapsed with 20lb extra afterwards. I'm not going back to 150.5 (my relapse weight) and I sure as heck won't go back anywhere near 180.0 when I started this journey.
I think geevee said it best, it is something that I need to be ever vigilant about. I need to focus on this, and I need to do it for me. I've decided to not pack one of my scales (the 0.5lb one, the one I started out with) and i will just take it with me in the car at the end.
I might have to do this forever, I might not. But I can't let life's stressors be an excuse for this continued self-destructive behavior. I can't and I won't. I deserve so much more.
Breakfast - 1 cup All Bran, 1 cup light vanilla soy milk
AM Snack - 1 med. apple (not the best choice for a snack, I realize now)
Lunch - Big salad with:
2 cups red lettuce 1/2 cup raw cauliflower 1 celery stick 1 Boca "chicken" patty (160 calories) 2 TBSP Newman's own salad dressing (90 cals)
AND In a bowl together:
1 cup leftover steamed broccoli with 1 cup leftover sauteed onions/peppers/mushrooms (sauteed in olive oil)
AND 1 square of Lindt dark chocolate (85% cacao) (53 cals)
***DID I EAT TOO MUCH? I had the salad and I still felt hungry. I also find that I don't feel "complete" unless I have something to finish off the meal. I am feeling so frustrated. Why do I have to eat so much to feel full?
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 13.5 lbs to go!
Trying to do this in the midst of moving/selling a house can't be easy--hang in there!
It seems as though yesterday has carried over to today. However, for the first time, I took a bite of my All Bran cereal and said to myself, "This tastes like horse manure." Not that I've tasted manure before, but this tasted a lot like it smells. So what did I do? I proceeded to have another piece of pie. As if eating pie would solve any problems.
The kids are grating on my nerves this morning. I must remember to keep my feelings composed, as they don't deserve to receive the contempt I have for myself.
Breakfast - 1 piece of mixed berry pie, 1 cup of All Bran, 1 cup of light vanilla soy milk (I think I have probably tasted the last of both.)
Lunch - big salad w/ 2 carrots, 1/2 cup beans, 2 TBSP balamic vinegarette, 6 almonds (1/4oz), 1 med apple.
PM Snack - 1 cup fat free cottage cheese
Dinner - 1/2 spaghetti squash (yes, I ate one half of an entire squash, made with 1 TBSP Smart Balace Light & 1/4 cup parm cheese), 1 Boca burger on 1 whole grain bun, 1/2 cup asparagus, 1 cup sauteed onion/green pepper/mushroom mix.
Dessert - 1 square Lindt chocolate
... which proceeded to another binge. Not good.
Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 10.6 lbs to go!
Are you feeling any better than you were yesterday?? Take care of yourself!
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Way to go on the weight loss. Day 6 complete, your doing great! I'm glad to hear your kids are feeling better. Do your schools actually close because its to cold or was it because the roads were bad yesturday? Just wondering.
I hope your fish makes it! I'm so ready for Spring!! At least the sun is shining today, although its very misleading because it is still freezing outside. To make matters worse our furnace shut off yesturday, I told my hubby I couldn't feel any heat coming through any of the vents so he went to check and it had shut off. Our neighbour down the street had the same problem. The weather yesturday was with the wind shield at the coldest point of the day -27 C (or -16.6 F). Thankfully we have a gas fireplace in our living room because that was our only source of heat until my hubby fixed the furnace!! Its no wonder both my kids are coughing like crazy now with runny noses!
I'm sure once you get through this move, you will get back into the swing of things. Did you decide to join another gym once your all settled in or are you just going to exercise on your own?
I hope all goes well with the move. I have to go freeze my butt off now and pick my daughter up from the bus!!
borntocry on 02/06/2007:
Maintaining your weight while moving is pretty impressive, really. I gained two or three pounds quite easily when I did it. All the stress...
WorkingIt2 on 02/06/2007:
Congrats on day 6 lol I had a beta fish with me when I had my livingroom floor replaced, we had to move to a hotel for a couple weeks. Well, it was blistering hot outside and I left the air on all day..came in and it felt like a meat locker and my poor fish was barely swimming around LOL. I put his bowl in a little warm water and then locked him in the bathroom and he was ok. They are pretty hardy little fish.
Have a great evening =)
lafemme_loca on 02/06/2007:
I hope you stay warm. I understand about stress eating... It is always nice when you reach for a trigger food and there isn't much there so it really doesn't derail you as bad as it might have done. I hope your fish survives the cold... I know that they can handle it down to 50 F indoors... from years when I had one and refused to turn on the heat... now I just use a small space heater which my cat has declared his own... he is passed out in front of it now. I want to see snow !!!! Our weather is about to change to rain this week... It means I need to start walking sooner rather than later. Have a good move and keep up the good work !!!
geevee on 02/06/2007:
White potatoes are off limits on Sugar Buster's but that's what I used for the leek pie. Interestingly, sweet potatoes are okay. Baked potatoes by themselves are so good, I can eat them without butter. They're so nutritious, sometimes I have one anyway. Breads and rice are all whole grains, incl. bagels which are permissable.
As for the sugar in truffles, I have no idea. I don't eat that many of them so I haven't bothered checking.The last time I had dessert was Christmas Eve. I don't normally eat foods made with sugar, so I indulge in the occasional truffle or two.
Each doctor's visit my glucose level has been within normal range for over two years, so I guess its all right to cheat every now and then.
mcwoo40 on 02/07/2007:
Hi ,we are due to get snow here in England but nothing compared to what we used to get when i was a child.The best foods for this type of weather is soup,quite healthy if you don't have too much bread!!Anyway keep warm, catch up with you again Julie.
biscottibody59 on 02/07/2007:
Maybe it'll be a little warmer with the moving postponement!
Have a good one!