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Donkey - Saturday Apr 22, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 140.5

Lost the 2 pounds I picked up last week - hooray!  But as I mentioned in my diary, I think this is another sign of maintenance, rather than true weight loss.

Yes, I have been weight training faithfully.  I had to make a slight adjustment to my routine schedule, to accommodate a birthday, and it worked splendedly.


I was reading a conversation in a group that I belong to in the Fitbit community regarding weight training.  For upper body, I may increase my dumbbell weight significantly and reduce to 3 sets of 5 reps, rather than 3 sets of 10-15 reps.  That is what was recommended to build rather than tone, and I was so inspired by the "selfies" that people in that group post showing wonderful muscle definition.  And a lot of them women!

I **WILL**  start this new approach in May.  Our Colorado houseguest from last month is returning, so my routine will be disrupted at the end of the month.  That is OK.  I will use his visit to rest, before I start this new approach of the heavier weights, less repetitions for a May goal.  Then I will re-evaluate at the end of May and see which direct I want to go.


I am working with my boss to re-allocate some of my responsibilities so that as we get busier, I can keep my sanity.  I passed up an opportunity to apply for a new job with a new employer (better benefits, but way lower pay, but better for long-term employment potential) this week.  I hope I don't regret passing this up.  The changes I'm proposing will hopefully make this a more enjoyable summer, even if it costs me overtime hours.

The argument I'm going to make to my boss is this:  I'd rather give 100% to fewer clients than 50% to more.  I feel bad that I get impatient with clients or that I can't take phone calls because I'm so far behind in emails.  I would like to be able to get things out in a timely manner and maybe even work on more document preparation, too, but I can't because I'm only one person handling all these files.  I'd like to allocate a portion of my workload beyond a certain quota to one of my co-workers, if she's willling.  So that's what I'm going in with, for the month of May. 


One last note for today (I think):  Can I just say how difficult it has been for me with 2 kids having birthdays within a week of one another???  Having the dinner of their choice and then cake and then cake leftovers was EXTREMELY difficult.  I don't know how I got through it.  Honestly, there were a few nights this week, where I wanted to finish off the day with a slice of ice cream cake and had to try SO HARD to resist -- which I did, successfully. 

Today is my "relax" day as far as eating, so I can have a slice of ice cream cake tonight, if I want.  The remainder of cakes and desserts in my house are -- *finally* -- GONE!!!

Progress as of today: 46 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2017:
I am proud of you for getting thru. In regards to only 5 repsyes that will cause a more bulky or hypertrophic look but the leaner look is usually more reps. Either way, lifting weights will Have a good effect.

If you Google and compare bodies of power lifters (they do low reps) VS bodybuilders with lean physics (high reps) you'll see what I am talking about.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/24/2017:
keep up the good work - i'm sometimes worse at writing here on weekends than during week since i'm used to logging in most days at work & commenting (but this may end bc i have to be extra careful.)

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 19, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 142.5

Not sure where to start, but I've been chewing on something for the week, so I'm putting it out there now.

I realized after I posted my discouragement about weigh-in that I've basically been maintaining at around 141lbs.  A little up, a little down, but more or less aroundd 141lbs or 141.5.

I came to this conclusion:  maybe this is it.  Maybe this is a good weight for my body to maintain and be healthy without going insane about numbers, counting, workouts, etc.  I feel pretty good, folks say I look healthy, this is realtively easy for me to keep the habits I have established.

So if this is the case, then I need new goals and/or new motivations.  I know that weight training --- or rather the RESULTS from weight training --- is one of the things that I want to keep working on.  I'd also love to start jogging again, even if it's short, light runs.

I've decided that for now, to stay at my job, because the money is quite decent and things will probably be changing for my family soon, with my husband's disability, moving, etc.  So  new job is not on my goals list any more for now, because there are too many variables.  I still look, casually, but not intently.  Right now, I have to focus on other things.

Also, I've set up some work goals for myself, the biggest one is not to work past 6pm any more.  After 6pm, I start making mistakes.  And some days, I go into work saying, "Today I'm going to leave at 5:30p".  For example, yesterday, I knew I would be leaving work to meet up at a restaurant at 5:30p.  So today, i went in KNOWING that I would be working until 6pm.  Tomorrow, I am planning to leave at 5:30p.  This really helps my mindset, and I think it helps with stress levels overall.

Anyway, I'm not abandoning my April goals -- I would still LOVE to get into the 130s if I can.  I might even hold this goal over through the month of May, but I'm also looking at other things that I want to accomplish as far as health and balance.

PS  Horn:  I promise that I *will* read that book on habits!

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2017:
This entry was an amazing read. It sounds extremely clear-headed - it's logical & even efficient. You sound like a manager here - someone who is in total control and optimistic of the future. Someone who is able to CHOOSE what variables they want to play with (focus on) and which to move to the back burner (like getting a new job).

YES! This is good thinking J-Donk! This entry sounds like the James Clear, who I signed up for his free motivational emails like 2 years ago....he's also on fb, but i don't really read his posts there - i love his emails and you'd love them too).

Anyways, this entry sounds like a boss wrote it. You are a boss of you. You determine a lot of the direction your life goes. You plan what you are focusing on. You sound good, J. Very good.

Maintaining your weight and sticking to current habits is good! I also have been at a maintenance weight for one year now (since sister's wedding). Sometimes my weight goes up couple pounds or down a pound but it's relatively staying here. Like you - it's become sorta an mostly easy weight to maintain with no additional stress and the more exercise i do add in, the easier it becomes to keep this weight. but i don't push it. little by little with adding cardio.

You've written quite a lot of things you want to add - both weight training and running. If you seriously don't like weight training, your sessions can be minimal. You don't need to spend hours. Just 20min or half hour 2 days a week to start is minimal and doable. And with running, i suggest it only if you would enjoy it. You are just getting back into walking, so don't push or injure yourself. But of course you inspire me and of course i hope you do what makes you happy.

The leaving work on time thing is important. Most managers at my job do it. We are no different. I am no different from you. I now leave on time and my goal is to get there on time or a tad early so that I can leave on time. No more added time in my hours for my company as it's only added stress.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2017:
Book is relatively long, i'm halfway thru. I love it but sometimes don't find the time in the day to get into it besides on weekends...if you need the author / title let me know! It's quite an easy read in terms of the author's language.

puddles on 04/20/2017:
I think you have a great plan.

Donkey - Saturday Apr 15, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 142.5

Up 2 pounds - I'm so discouraged.  I woke up feeling bloated. 

Nevertheless, I got up, rode the stationary bike, and did my upper body weight routine.  Brought my 8lb dumbbells down to the basement to exercise this morning, rather than putting it off until tonight.  Just wanted to get it out of the way.  Now my arms are a little sore, and I have a full day of yardwork ahead of me (bagging twigs and leaves).

Even my husband could tell I was discouraged.  I guess I sighed loudly before starting, and he asked what was wrong.  I explained to him how I gained 2lbs, feeling discouraged, etc.  He tried to be encouraging so he gets Donkey Points for that, but still...

Maybe I'm just tired?  Maybe something is bothering me that I'm not aware of?  It's beautiful weather here in Chicagoland, hope the day gets better...

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 04/16/2017:
Don't be discouraged. You'll get it back off.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/17/2017:
Donkey J! It happens. ....

First, it's a busy holiday weekend for you i am SURE and just your daughter's bday...you are a little busy.

I am still reading this habits book which is most interesting.......

You def have your patterns and habits and I....we are VERY habit-based (me and you)...i know it!

I relate to this book like CRAZY and you would too if you read it....

You have had a lot going on - so you have been using all your energies on that stuff...and then you get to yourself.....and you have little energy left!

just rest up, conserve your energies MORE FOR YOURSELF>...rest up and get back to your routine.

yes - i do think you are tired. I noticed thru facebook reading my "memories" that i am usually tired this time of year, weirdly enough!, or at least at this particular job where March is always long with little vacation time, etc. and i do not want to use any vacation time now either...it's a tiring time of year also with allergies for me.

but back to you....i am now reading a part of the book about when we use a lot of our willpower up....like you are similarly using your energies for your daughter's bday, holiday of Easter, and stuff like that....your willpower is now lowered....for you and for your exercise plans....your willpower is low bc you were using it on other things...like not having the cake and stuff or what was it? donuts? at the office. You MUST find ways to conserve your will power so that when you finally get to YOU - you at the end of the day after work or on the weekend and you are finally able to make positive choices for YOU - you have to have some willpower left to make the GREAT choices for YOU.

and you must STOP thinking that the scale is your ruler! The scale is not the ruler of you. YOU are!!!! The choices you make will determine your weight. The scale doesn't determine your weight.

The willpower you have will help you make the good choices. but you cannot deplete your willpower so much that your are not equipped with the strength to follow thru into making these good choices.

I am learning this. This is what i'm reading! This book is a HOT book! Quite excellent. Because it's bringing into play so many things that i don't necessarily or never necessarily thought about so acutely to realize that there are reasons why some people fail or some people cannot maintain....and others do....

there are ways to actually change our habits and also our ability to stay on track. both me and you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/17/2017:
annie said it with only one sentence, her comment above me, and it's so true.

for instance Donkey, when i do so much on weekends and go out and "party" it's a killer to still have the willpower to go to gym during that weekend like on Sunday after a party night or to eat well the next morning...

so sometiems what is best is not to party so much....because then i have a hard time into the next full workweek, etc.

ok, that's not a great example.

there were better examples in the book.

but for instance, you were using your willpower not to eat her cake and not to eat the donuts...and then your willpower has been used...but you still need to KEEP using it somehow and get your body exercising, weight training, or walking, or eating wwell at home.

It is up to you, J, to continue this will-power...and to also find ways of CONSERVING your will-power (try to get less stressed at work....try to be less stressed about the condition of your hubby if it's something that cannot be controlled by you?)....you have to use your will-power LESS in areas of your life where you already have habits...and use it MORE right now to create the healthy habits that you want like weights.

weights are not a habit of yours yet...you must use your willpower to create new habits. you must push yourself out of comfort for this.

conserve your energies and think about how you look forward to this chapter of weight training as you know even from me that the results DO kick in but not right away. you have to do it for the long run to see changes. After 6months, huge changes as well as one year. but you have to stick with it. you cannot get discouraged.

stop with the scale if you must...it's doing you a disservice. go by how your clothes fit!

you KNOW how to eat healthy.

the scale is playing a game with you.

i read your entries, i see how you feel.

the scale is determining your mood. do not let this be so.

and try to keep a focused momentum throughout the day that in the back of your head you are excited to do the weights because you know the results that will come...more toning, less fat as muscle will take up less room.

Donkey. you can do this.

stop telling yourself you cannot. xoxoxoxo

i'm also working at changing my life...as you read and can see on fb. it's not a joke. :-D it's hard work. I'm still struggling to realize i will soon be running (JOGGING).

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/17/2017:
i'm now, at 3pm...couple hours after writing to you above, reading your earlier below entry. I guess i was SPOT on with what i was trying to say about managing and SAVING your will-power.

You AND ME...we are now learning to move beyond using up our will-power. we must actually start to not become fully depleted / exhausted (trust me i do it too....i felt horrible this weekend and was in the WORST of moods ever and really couldn't do much...but that is like i said something i must learn to deal with better!!)...so we must somehow get better at the life balance....so we don't get to the point of wanting to give up as easily...

we must hold back and not give in...so that our will-power is not getting used up when we need it most!

even working more hours at work past me time to leave....that uses up will-power ...like on Friday when i worked a full day when most went home early or didn't come in...i was too exhausted and my legs too sore....and it wasn't only willpower, but if i weren't sore...i still don't know if i'd have the willpower to push myself to walk at the park because i'd used to up on everything else last week.

part of the reason i felt so bad this weekend as i write this and think more about it - it was def an emotional exhasution and it caused me physical pain too.

will-power is the only factor that is missing at times....and when we are exhausted it becomes THAT MUCH HARDER to make good decisions - getting more sleep, eating better, lol less caffeine on my end!...these things can help us manage our will-power and not deplete it all at once.

as a teacher, i was constantly depleting my will-power and energy in general bc teachers have a lot of time off....so i'd just plan according to the breaks and not care if i was exhausted before a vacation...

but now with my current situation, there's no breaks...not many days off....very similar to yours i know....so we must just learn to not deplete ourselves fully...to not always be exhausted come the weekend....to learn to keep our minds and bodies always with an extra store of WILLPOWER / energy. it's hard - but the challenge in the end is good when you realize you did it...it'll always be a challenge - a LIFE CHALLENGE. it never goes away, but gets easier as more things become HABITS. the more you repeat things, the more habitual they will become.

keep repeating your intentions, they become habits, they start to become lasting.

habits need LESS WILLPOWER because they are ingrained already in your daily / weekly actions and you don't need to think about doing them as much because you are used to always doing them.

so the more good habits you create like eating right things, weights - you will need less willpower as you create new structure.

Donkey - Friday Apr 14, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 140.5

It's the night before weigh-in and just as I was getting ready to go out for an evening walk, it started raining.  So I will stay in tonight, but I'm feeling a little anxious about tomorrow's weigh-in...  Also, I have conflicting emotions going on right now, because I'm feeling full from dinner and yet anxious about not being able to walk it off, and yet grateful (somewhat) for the rest night --- although to be honest, I'd rather be walking.

Oh my was it a struggle this week to watch my carb intake.  My daughter's 17th birthday was on Tuesday, so dinner was take-out, which I was fine with - cut my gyros in half and had carrot sticks along with it.  But then we had cake and ice cream.  I probably should have chosen ice cream, but I LOVE CAKE, so I had cake, and while I ate the whole piece, it wasn't all that great tasting --- it was a beautiful looking cake though.  Is that silly?  To want to eat more of something just because it looks so nice, even if it's not the best you've had?

So the cake was a disappointment -- probably because the chocolate icing was not as sweet as you find in the supermarket made cakes.  (This cake was made in a bakery, and I think the icing was their homemade recipe.  It was different, lighter, not as chocolatey.)

Afterwards I felt very bloated but I stuck to my routine and worked out on weights that night.  Upper body, I think?  Yes.

The next morning though, oh my I was so tired... and I felt almost hungover!  I think it was from having all that sugar that my body isn't used to.  So although the cake wasn't that great, and I felt awful afterwards, I've been fighting with myself every night this week not to pick off one of the frosting roses or have a slice.  I proposed to my daughter that perhaps we freeze the rest of her cake but it's a very small cake and she said she wanted to work on it some more over the weekend, so there it sits, and here I am writing about it.

So this morning I was doing really well, and then the title company rep. came into the office with 4 huge bowls of fresh cut fruit and these *BEAUTIFUL* doughnuts!  ACK!!!  I just can't win -- I'm surrounded by beautiful cakes!  I had 2 servings of fruit, one in the morning, and then one after lunch, as a dessert.  If I still want a doughtnut after weighing in tomorrow, I can have one.

Weight training update:

So I stuck with my planned schedule for weight training: Upper body Saturday and Tuesday, Lower body Sunday and Wednesday.  Evening walks on Monday, Thursday and Friday -- except that tonight it's raining :-( -- per Horn of Plenty's advice this week to schedule an alternative activity on my "off" days (nights).

I used my 8lb dumbbells and just worked through any joint pain. It didn't seem so noticable this time, and I know that the heavier weight will bring the results I want. 

I want results, and I don't mind working for the results, but I get so annoyed at feeling obligated to stick to the routine.  Does this make sense?  I'm a hard worker, and I know that my effort will pay off, and I'm fine with that.  But I think it was last night, I just felt like, "OMG am I going to have to do legs on Thursdays for the rest of my life???"  That's TOTALLY what it felt like.

Funny that I feel that way about weight training, but I have never said that about brushing my teeth or even flossing, which I have established as a daily habit for over a year now, and feel really good about that. 

But anyway, I'm not sure how to reconcile myself to weight training.  Maybe it won't ever happen.  Maybe I just need to give it more time.

I might go back to doing weights in the morning, since I'm soon running out of TV shows at night that hold my motivation while weight training.  Also, I would like to start doing some work on my core muscles, but having hardwood floors throughout my house, it's kind of hard to do any floor work.  ONCE AGAIN, another accommodation I have to make in order to get the job done.  My g*d, I'm so sick of this -- why does it have to be so DIFFICULT???


Progress as of today: 46 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 04/16/2017:
If your joints hurt when lifting weights then the weight it too heavy for you. If I feel any pain at all in my elbows when I try to use a heavier weight, I stop and go back to lower weight. My dumbbells are all in kg which makes it difficult since when you go up to the next heavier it's 2.2 lbs heavier, not just 1 lb. I use 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 kg dumbbells.

grannyannie on 04/16/2017:
You can work through mild muscle pain, but not joints.

Donkey - Saturday Apr 08, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 140.5

Quite happy with today's weigh-in, especially since I went out to dinner with my Church Ladies last night.  I was a bit afraid that the fish fry I had would cause water retention -- just by the nature of restaurant food having more salt in it.  But my weekly efforts paid off.

I am very close now to accomplishing one of the goals I had set for myself in April!  (The one about getting into the 130s - would love to see a new set of numbers!)  And I have only 4 pounds remaining until I reach my ultimate goal of 50lbs gone.

The weather is warming up in the Chicago area so I hope to get some yardwork done this weekend.  If the warm weather remains fairly consistent, then I will concentrate on getting in an evening walk ... let's say at least 4 days a week this week?  Weather has to be permitting though.

I had a huge revelation this past week in my response to Happy-1's diary entry about establishing habits.  I realize that one of the reasons why it's so hard for me to keep up a consistent weight-training routine is because it's not something I do every day.  And to really be effective, it (a habit) needs to be a daily thing, for me.  Now I just realized though that this might be part of the "black or white" thinking, i.e. "all or nothing".  I could use this opportunity to teach myself to be flexible.

So I'm thinking that my weight training routine could be something like this:  Off, upper body, lower body, off, off, upper body, lower body.  Repeat. Having 2 days off in a row, though, is dangerous -- it's a slippery slope to doing nothing from there.  It's not like I spend hours weight training.  Why is it so hard for me to do this?

Also, I would appreciate some input:  I use 5lb dumbbells on my lower body exercises and my thighs/butt are on fire the next 2 days.  I use 8lb dumbbells on my upper body, and I feel nothing.  But I can't really go higher (right now) because lifting a heavier weight causes pain in my joints.  Ideas?  Suggestions?


Progress as of today: 46 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 04/08/2017:
You're doing great! My regular routine is MWF cardio and upper body muscle work. Tu, Th, Sat lower body muscle work and cardio.

Donkey on 04/08/2017:
Very helpful - thank you! And thank you for the encouragement too! :-)

grannyannie on 04/09/2017:
I've always read that small muscles should only be worked every other day but large muscles can be done every day. Small muscles would include abs and arms.

Horn_of_plenty on 04/09/2017:
...the ideas i gave you in your previous entry are things i am also learning at this moment - due to reading a really good book on habits that was a suggested read to me by a higher-up administrator in my company. I have begun a friendship with the older man (married) and he has influenced me positively in my life. I am thankful for him, his kindness & his generosity. I am even getting emotional now as I realize how this man has had a very positive impact on my life. So thankful. He has 2 beautiful daughters, one being exactly my age with the same birthday also! He is just a few years younger than my own father...and i sometimes speak to him about things i can't even share with my own parents...because when i share with him, i don't have to worry about fights that would occur between family...if you understand ? he's another role model figure for me, besides me own family. An upper person at my company, that i can trust when i need someone to speak to. Lucky person I am...

I will write more later....

But please remember - in a good way as you do - that my comments to you are always truthful and from my heart....and things that i am learning also...because i believe in you...and i am thankful for a friendship with you here. I do believe change is possible. And i do believe that even friendships here on the web are meaningful and helpful to have in my life...and hopefully yours too. :-) Letting you know i'm here to always help, never hurt, and always to advise based on my experiences. <3

Donkey on 04/14/2017:
Oh I always know that your comments come from a good place, with only good intentions and constructive advice. I know I can count on you to be objective and point out pros and cons!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/09/2017:
As for weight training, you can do the lower body exercises without weight if it's causing you so much soreness the next few days. I STILL do squats with no weight added except for my own body weight. If it's NEW lower body exercises, think of it that way - use your own body weight to start.

if joints hurt when increasing any further weight for upper, do the exercises very SLOW with same weights and don't go up...if you go slow and resist on both the contraction and expansion (release?) of the weight, it works better and you don't need to go up in weight - i'm saying to do VERY slow curls and this can be like adding weight....it's harder. but no additional weight is added.

routines do not have to be daily - you can have a weekly routine. that's how most weight training goes! I go 3 days a week, with usually set days but have learned to be much more flexible in order to make sure it gets done but going on days i usually don't go when i have other involvements...

but to start - i like your approach....on the other days - you can plan to do crocheting? i think you said you knit? maybe i'm mistaken? but you can find something ELSE to do OR do the weights in place of WALKING!

that's what i'd do, actually....walk like 3 days, and instead of walking, do weights. see how it works...you may end of liking it - especially if it affects your weight positively! and it might! so, don't change your routine....

you can walk some days after dinner. on the other days, do the weights...this is my suggestion. then, you have your routine SET!

Donkey on 04/14/2017:
That's an excellent idea to have another activity scheduled on my weight training "off" days, so that it still feels like a routine. EXCELLENT!!! I tried to apply that this week some success. I will write about that in tonight's entry.

Donkey - Saturday Apr 01, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 142.0

Feeling very anxious this morning, having a hard time getting my day started, so I put off writing here until I at least got in my morning exercise.  (See, it's all a matter of priorities and then forcing yourself to stick to them!)  I've put off breakfast, because I'm not sure what I want to eat, and again, having anxiety in getting anything accomplished right now.

Today:  A good weigh-in!  I was nervous about weighing in because last week was so low (due to illness) and then last night, I splurged on a piece of strawberry pie after dinner.  What on earth was I thinking?  Dinner (and dessert) was sitting kind of heavy, and I was feeling anxious, so I went for a long walk last night, which I think helped, but having all that sugar definitely isn't in my "low carb" plan!

March Recap:  It had ups and downs as far as the scale, but pretty much maintained.  I started March at 142.5 and ended at 141.5 last week.  Not too bad considering I was sick for a couple of weeks and then displaced from my exercise equipment at the end of the month (due to houseguest staying in the family room where my exercise equipment is).  

April DD Goals:  (1)  Would like to see numbers on the scale in the 130's;  (2)  Establish a regular weight training schedule, even if it's just 2 days a week; (3)  Establish the habit of walking in the evenings, now that the weather is getting nicer out.

April Personal Goals:  (1) discuss and prioritize financial goals with husband - things we've put off until resolving our house issue; (2)  Work no later than 6pm even if it means letting go until the next day;  (3)  Organize/clean/purge bookshelves in spare bedroom -- tackle 1-3 shelves a weekend.  [This is part of my new mission to downsize and minimize clutter in my life.]


Now I really must get my day started.  This anxiety is so uncomfortable today!

Progress as of today: 44.5 lbs lost so far, only 5.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/03/2017:
I have a lot to advise and suggest regarding your anxiety...will write later when less busy or wanting a break while here at work :-) I am thinking as it relates to a book on habits that i'm reading...your anxiety is making superior sense in regards to breaking habits...even your morning habitual routine - breaking - may unintentionally create anxiety!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/03/2017:
Me & you - we both have certain habits...even some habits we don't know we have....that hold us back.

Habits we don't realize control us even subconsciously - i give you a challenge...to overcome most of the anxiety....to take control....

but also like you mentioned to me...don't speak up unless necessary when at work...because the big mouths will also cause us nice ladies problems...trust me....ugh! what lessons i learned, so glad i learned them here at this job before moving to the NYPD...thankful for lessons learned HERE not THERE (nypd) where i'd be fired if it were little ole ME vs an "experienced big-mouth boss." as is the case of what happened here 2x in the past two weeks. done with that nonsense...and happy about my own life (got a raise last week...which helps the whole "positive thinking" thing on my end duh!....lets make it work...

...i'll comment more on the content in your diary later.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/03/2017:
like the reason that old habits creep back is that even old habits have been with us so long...they still continue to affect the brain and craving center...like your desire for the strawberry pie! Your "anxiety" was that craving...for the reward...the PIE! your anxiety was a disguised craving...you will need to beat old habits from reocurring by thinking of a better reward to develop a new habit even better than cake...i have learned to do this more & more...

or if a food reward, it's lower cal...i drink lots of flavored seltzers using stevia....i have spent money on expensive items at times to help me - like the stevia...

but i also crave the feeling to know my clothes fit...that i don't have to keep changing sizes...things like this have more importance, mostly, over overeating until i am so sick and it's 3,000kcal worth of food....

i have been able to break a lot of the habits this year...as i much prefer how my clothes fit year-round...

also, i crave caffeine a lot...over just eating more food...i have replaced a lot of overeating, with cafienating (not saying this is good) ...

what i'm saying is, life's a bunch of habits - cues which create a craving for a reward...

it seems you are used to having sweets when you are cued by anxiety...

Maybe your cue is when you indulge in a heavy dinner, that you expect a reward of dessert...so your cue was the heavy dinner which lead you to crave a dessert...

so you must change the reward for a heavy dinner...maybe instead of a drink or dessert, you can have fruit (whcih is sugar) and follow it up with seltzer sweetened with stevia - this is waht i do ... a small amount of somethign low cal, that is sweet, followed by something sugar-free, to satsify my mouth...and i can skip the higher cal pie / cake....

you need to recognize the cue that had you craving sweets and change the reward of sweets to a healthier reward....realize you have a habit going on...

the reason you do not know what in the earth you were thinking...is because habits are ingrained and not even thought about...we do them partially without thinking....like when you get up and turn off the alarm, or brushing your teeth...

to keep the weight down...and not indulge on a cue you are used to indulging on, you must realize why you were tempted in the first place and put in place a reward that oyu like, that is not cake.

walks can be rewards, they will make you feel good. a good idea is to crave the feeling of self-appreciation for completing a walk...knowing you did good for yourself.

2 days a week of weight-training is suitable and beneficial. if you are sick, you must rest. I have learned this - then you get over being sick faster....sleep is majorly important while sick. you must get yourself strong so you do not continuously feel run down constantly for weeks on end....!

Your evening walk can be a habit that starts as a cue that when dinner is over - the cue of dinner over is to go for a walk, for instance. Then, the feeling & knowledge of the scale going down is an internal reward for that walk. This can be your loop - only an idea. Dinner over = time for walk = yielding a feeling of being productive and accomplishing your goal of feeling good plus you do feel good from moving plus numbers on scale will be good.

However, your motivation when the numbers on the scale got to goal got screwed up...because once you MAINTAIN, the numbers on the scale do NOT go down...the motivation / reward of being healthy needs ot come from something else...not the scale...i have learned that for me - my reward is ALWAYS fitting into my clothes / this size.

My motivation, for mainenance, is beyond the numbers on the scale.

I think you are very motivated but #s on scale, but you need to find a different motivator for maintenance>......! This is what i just figured out based on knowing you, here and your entries over a long period of time! :-D

It is very important to limit your work hours - good idea - you must be healthy and not run-down bc of extra sitting hours at owrk....use them to relax at home / walk / do whatever you enjoy outside of work!

Donkey on 04/05/2017:
OMGosh, this is so spot on! Yes, you are right about motivators and having to find new ones. GOLDEN!!

Donkey on 04/05/2017:
I have been thinking over what you said about cravings disguising other emotions. I know that this is true, and especially in my experiences in the past, this has been true, i.e. eating for the wrong reasons.

However, I did not realize that this is what the strawberry pie incident was about. But you're exactly right! Gosh, it's so hard to be vigilant because these "dysfunctional coping mechanisms" can be so sneaky!

mylilsista on 04/04/2017:
I, too, suffer from considerable anxiety. It seems that my mind never stops jumping around to various scenarios that could end badly. Sometimes, I get on youtube and search for guided relaxation meditations. I close my eyes, listen to them, and relax. If you haven't tried this already, you may want to give it a try. That is my 2.5 cents worth :P

Donkey on 04/05/2017:
That is a really good idea! I will remember that!

Donkey - Saturday Mar 25, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 141.5

I don't expect to be this low next week.  This is mostly due to being sick this week, first with a low fever, and now with an unstoppable cough. Starting Thursday, all exercise went out the window.  Going to try to take a walk today.

I have a house guest coming this week, so my routine will be all out of whack, since my stationary bike is in the basement and that is where we will have the guest quarters set up.  So I must be disciplined enough to get my butt out of bed to walk outside if I want morning cardio.  Hopefully the Chicago weather will cooperate. 

Right now, just trying to get myself started on the day...  This one is going to be difficult.

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

mylilsista on 03/25/2017:
I hope you feel better, soon. When I'm not feeling well, my routine is thrown off...so I understand. Thanks for your advice on the PF. Hope you have beautiful weather (or, at a minimum, 'warm').

Horn_of_plenty on 03/26/2017:
Yeah, i'm sick too as you know. Mine is just very slight body aches, slight sore throat on only the right side!, and a small stye in eye that didn't get bad bc i already have the ointment at home and didn't need to go to dr for it, thankfully.

I know why i am sick - stress - of a long month. that's what i think anyways - or i coulda just caught a germ..who knows. but it does suck because i know when i am sick, like you, i have lower energy levels for exercise and i truly just want to feel better before doing exercise too. I may just take off exercise until i am 99% or so better! haha....def skipping a workout this week.

lol, back to you - trust me that sleep is very important.

Donkey - Friday Mar 17, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 144.0

In anticipation of having a salty dinner tonight (Friday) for St. Patrick's Day, I decided to weigh in this morning rather than Saturday morning, to avoid any "weight" that might be salt-related.  I thoroughly enjoyed my reuben sandwich tonight, along with a big tossed salad. 

I'm mulling over whether to have Friday weigh-ins rather than Saturday morning weigh-ins.  On Fridays, I like to relax a little bit, indulge a little, but I'm on track for most of Friday.  So even though I stick to the program pretty much, even on Saturdays which are my "cheat days", by moving weigh-in to Friday mornings, that would reduce the "cheat day" to a "cheat meal".   Not sure yet.  Will re-evaluate at a later date.

So now that we've changed the clocks and daylight savings time has taken effect, I realize that I need to get back into the habit of taking a walk after dinner, when it's still light out.  This week, I was pretty much coming home, getting into my pajamas and getting to bed/sleep around 8pm.  That's how hard the time change affected me.  But now I've adjusted and realized it's time to get back into the habit I had over the summer last year, which really helped me lose most of my weight.  I think by adding these evening walks, I can reach my weight goal.

I must tell you though that this week I really did it:   I did some squats and lunges -- nothing really difficult -- except this time I held 5lb dumbbells.  You would think that these little dumbbells would not make much of a difference, but oh my goodness, my donkey and my thighs have been on FIRE since Tuesday.  Today is the first day that I can manage the ache and my legs aren't buckling out from under me.

So if 5lb dumbbells made such a difference with my thighs, why don't I get that same sensation when I do upper body exercises with those same 5lb weights? Especially since I've always considered myself to be stronger in the legs rather than the upper body.  What do I do?  Do I use a heavier dumbbell for my arms and back to get that "ache"? 


Progress as of today: 42.5 lbs lost so far, only 7.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/20/2017:
Same reason why you are considering changing your weigh-ins is the reason I had adjusted my calorie counting day starting day for the week - I anticipate higher cals on weekend and anticipate balancing them out all week - and that's why i start the count on Saturday knowing that on the weekend I tend to indulge and weekdays I can cut back. It works well for when I average my totals.

It's ok to change your ways if it's going to make you happier or be a positive influence to your lifestyle which it is!

Lol, the clock change affected me...when i wrote to you previously i accidentally thought we were gaining an hour lol...anyways, I think it took me a week to get used to the hour shift change of Springing Forward.

If you are on fire and that sore it's because the muscles obviously aren't even used to being used! I"m so happy you are starting up with the weights again. Do it for a long period of time, 6 mo-1yr and you will see MAJOR changes happening. More muscle & less fat. Smaller arm circumferences around bicep and you increase your muscle mass. trust it & me...no lie weights are the BEST.

5lb make a difference if you weren't even training the legs. I don't ache after my workouts as my muscles are used to being used...you shouldn't have to always be so sore...i think that would lead to an injury as when i injured myself, it was a time when i was constantly too sore after weekend tough workouts and not enough recovery time.

But u may have to increase the weights for arms...you should be able to do at least 8 reps...if you can do 12+ you should increase by 5 lbs. If the increase from like 5lbs to 10lbs is still too easy and you can still do 12 reps and do it 3x (3 sets of 12 reps) with 10lbs, move up again to 15lbs. If 15 is hard and you can only do 1 or 2 sets with them, do the last set using the 10lbs again. You don't have to fully increase all sets....do whatever you can do ALWAYS increase the amount of weight you are lifting. This is what I do...to make sure I'm always trying to get to the next higher weight...keeps me strong. I do not get sore always, no, but i'm always pushing myself.

It's not the ache, but your progress that should count more in my opinion. Make sure to do 3 sets of 8-12 reps. Once you are doing 12 reps fairly simply with those weights, time to increase your weight.

Squatting and adding weight to your own body weight makes sense that you're getting sore as you NEVER did that before also...so that's a "high weight" to use as it's the first weight you ever added to your squats!

And in terms of squats, I still don't even need to add weights...i am still good with doing them only with my original body weight...that's how hard an exercise i guess they are!

Donkey - Saturday Mar 11, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 145.5

Gained 3 pounds this week.  I seem to be in a see-saw with the same 3 pounds back and forth.  I've been on track all week, so I think hormone fluctuations had a part to play in this week's weigh-in.  At least that's my hope.

Trying hard not to get discouraged, but I can be honest here that I'm feeling kind of down about this number.  Plus, my husband is in a lot of pain today but forced himself to go to work.  I know he did that because he thought I would get mad at him, since he took yesterday off too, and I feel bad/sad about that too :-(

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/11/2017:
Hope hubby feels better. Don't get discouraged, we all have been through the same.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2017:
Listen, you've lost so much weight...don't give in....this is now the time to work at maintenance.......

I hope your husband feels better than he did Friday. So sorry.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2017:
J Donkey - i replied to your comment on my Friday entry about the work scenario whcih was so upsetting. It should be blown over by Monday.

If not, I will mention how she and i (after i was asked to apoligize to her for my tone of speaking to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (you should have heard her come back at me - she actually threatened me! and she didn't have to apologize!?) ...anyways...if it comes up at work, i'll mention right away how she and i agreed the situation was OVER and dealt with on Friday. that we agreed it's over and we'd agree to move forward.

If i have to hear of the situation again at work, I'll simply speak up for myself. And i'll say that all bc she is a boss or has a higher position than me, doesn't make her bullying of my coworker alright. It doesn't give her any authority to disrespect anyone in the company. That everyone deserves equal respect and that she also needs to play by the same rules as everyone else in the comapny.

Donkey - Thursday Mar 09, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 142.5

I think my co-workers are trying to sabotage my efforts.  They keep bringing in food and telling me to eat.  I take the food, but then I bring it home, rather than eat it at work.  That reminds me, I have to take the bagel w/jalepeno cream cheese out of my lunchbox before bed...  I should just put on my big girl pants and say, "no thank you".

Progress as of today: 44 lbs lost so far, only 6 lbs to go!

mylilsista on 03/10/2017:
Wow...44 lbs lost? Amazing! Maybe your coworkers are trying to be kind, by sharing their food with others. I don't think it is rude to simply say "no thank you".

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/10/2017:
YES DO IT, Donkey....around here food is offered too...just say no thanks...if they ask why, so you "don't want" it or stronger word is "don't like" or you can even say you "can't have it now" if you really feel like it.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/10/2017:
gonna respond to your awesome comments on my entry later today :-D thank you in advance for the four points you left me.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/10/2017:
Remember to put yourself first and stand up for your needs. You can sometimes take the food a little bit and throw out later / not take all the time. Do not feel the need to take, you can say no.

I notice here at office, large office, not everyone is saying yes when cake goes around...especially some bosses decline (they are good at saying no...the bosses!)

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