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Donkey - Sunday Jun 10, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 36: Failed miserably yesterday. Well, not miserably but had 2 Crunch bars after dinner, and that put me way over on calories. Not good.

I found out that we may not be having this stupid dysfunctional family reunion on Day 50 because my grandfather broke his pelvis. He's very old. I don't know if he'll feel up to it. Right now he's walking around with a walker but he's going to see the orthopedic guy this week, so we shall see.

I am only too eager to quit counting. Although I have not made as much progress as I could have or would have liked, I did manage to get back into the 130s and feel good and comfortable about it.

I'm not sure how productive (active) I will be today. I don't have a plan, and as the saying goes, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail." So I'm sure today will not be so great either. And it's not even 10a yet. Great, something to look forward to...

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Soon2BThin on 06/10/2007:
Well, I hope your day turned out better than you thought it would! We all have "those" days, just feeling down and not wanting to do anything. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm pulling for you! Have a good week!

starfish on 06/10/2007:
hi, thanks for the comment today :) I hope your grandpa gets better quick. and I think it's great you got back into the 130's. I think you're a little too hard on yourself some times.

MyJuneWedding on 06/11/2007:
My Donkey buddy, what is up??? I love unplanned days, at least 'work' wise.

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandpa, I hope everything goes well for him.

As for you, don't you give up or get glum on us!!! We all have an off day, but don't let that get you down. Sometimes we really need that break and then we get going again and find out that break was what we needed to push to that next goal!!! ~hugs!~

Donkey - Saturday Jun 09, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 35: Probably not a good idea to drink a beer before logging on to Diet Diaries but I was so disgusted with the girls' softball coaches after the game that I felt it best in everyone's interest if I had something that would take the edge off of my mood. Of course, now I'm ready for a nap...

Funny thing is that before the game, I could feel the anxiety starting to build and I really had to try hard not to eat out of anxiety. Of course I did a little bit, but it was a real battle. And then after the game, I wanted to come home and eat for comfort. Hence the beer. I had some broccoli. I never realized that broccoli has that many calories in it. Oof!

Praise God that I have only 2 more days left of this softball insanity (Thursday and then the 20th of June). And then I hope to God that I never ever see any of these men ever again.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Soon2BThin on 06/09/2007:
Wow, you sound stressed!! I hope the beer helped. Good for you for not eating for comfort. I fall into that habit too. Have a relaxing Sunday!

Donkey - Friday Jun 08, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 34: Donkey did it. She got up early to workout, now that the kids are off of school. It was NOT easy I tell you, to do the elliptical crosstrainer at resistance level 15 (out of 20) at 6am. But I did it. And I did the whole 60 minutes, even though I felt like quitting half way through. And then I did weight training on my lower body (damn legs) even though I had told myself on the elliptical that all I had to do is finish the cardio and then I could go home.

At the gym today was a woman with the most amazing legs. You could see every muscle fiber in them. And they were so nicely thin. She looked like a runner, but she went on a crosstrainer too. I could hardly stop staring at her legs while she was working out. Just watching the muscles flex and the tendons on the sides of her knees. She has that little bone from her shin bone sticking out on the side below the knee too. Really motivating to watch. Not that Donkey will ever EVER have legs like that on her own, no matter how hard she tries.

But I digress. Now we have a very tired Donkey with a long day ahead of her.

NOTE: Today's weight is correct. Donkey weighed in today at 136.0 lb.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

halley on 06/08/2007:
I had a similar experience today with a girl that I run with - well - we start at the same time, but she's superfast, sub 7 minute miles, anyway, she has the best abs I've ever seen in person on a girl. It's hard not to look just to watch them working. Very cool!

MyJuneWedding on 06/08/2007:
Good Morning Donkey (lol I have to admit I bounce between Shrek clips and that new commercial with the chick at the drive through ordering po-donkey-butt and a side of flabby thighs. Please don�t take that badly, that commercial cracks me up!!! Anyway, that being said, I always smile when I start reading your daily log!)

Martial Arts, we are a tae kwon doo/tang soo do martial arts school (Pak�s Martial Arts) based on Korean martial Arts. Our main school is in Jacksonville Florida (that�s were Grandmaster Pak teaches) My school is locally here in South Georgia, but we are only an hour from the main school.

Regarding reading non Buddhism, a lot of the literature I have is written by HH the Dalia Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh. For me they were good starting points. I�ll look some more over the weekend when I get home. There are also a couple magazines out there you may be interested in looking at, one of them is Tricycle (the Buddhists review) Again I�ll look more at length when I get home.:-)

Have a wonderful weekend!!

biscottibody59 on 06/08/2007:
I think Oprah either did Medist or Optifast when she brought the wheelbarrow full of fat (or fake fat) onto the set. I only saw the spoof from Saturday Night Live.

greengirl on 06/08/2007:
Well done on the early morning start!! You said you were going to do it, and you did!!! Keep up the good work, Donkey!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/08/2007:
yay! finally back down to 136! thanks for rooting for me! i tried working out in the morning earlier this year....haha, but it was just too early. plus, i was going to bed too late and my sleeping was being hindered. but, if it works for you, it's a good plan...because you know that you've accomplished your workout and can go ahead and do whatever you want the rest of the day! I might take this approach this summer, actually!

starfish on 06/09/2007:
WTG on exercise! keep up the good work :)

Donkey - Thursday Jun 07, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 33: After today, everything changes. Today was the last day of school, and tomorrow the kids are home all day. So Donkey will be waking up EARLY to workout at the gym as close to 5a as she can manage, to workout before the husband goes to work and the kids wake up. Throughout the summer the kids will have activities in the morning that will prevent me from going then anyway, so it's best for me to get into the early routine now. The sooner the better. *yawn*

We managed to get in the girls' softball game despite terrible storms headed towards IL. I did not pitch, but I still got in a lot of exercise. I hope that once softball season is over to continue getting in a second workout in the evenings 2-3 times a week, as I do now with the softball stuff.

I am starting to think that I am going to need some assistance in getting to my goal weight (or lower; lower is fine too). I just "met" online a woman who is 144lb and is using Medifast to get down to 120. Isn't Medifast what Oprah used to lose all of her weight that one time? I thought you had to be obese to use that program. Yes? No? I emailed the woman to ask her questions about her experience.

I also heard an ad on the radio for some man who lost 35lb using lap band surgery. That would bring me down to around 105 or so. For my height that's not insane. 35lb is lot a lot of weight to lose for something as drastic as surgery to lose weight. (I could be wrong on that, so correct me if I'm wrong.)

I would love to get liposuction but first of all, I don't think the doctor would take out enough fat, and secondly, that would prevent me from doing any cardio for a few weeks and then I'd have to start all over again, building up my endurance. I don't want to do that.

But some of the conversation (see Amanda8419 for reference) that we've had about getting assistance to lose weight (other than portion control and exercise) has started me thinking. I think that this healthy eating and dieting is futile for me. Look at where it has gotten me - same weight or maybe a bit higher than I've been before. That stinks.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

MyJuneWedding on 06/08/2007:
Donkey, it's not the numbers on the scale alone! Your measurements in inches, how your clothes are fitting, your increased cardio endurance and improved overall health, THOSE are the big indicators of improvement!! Don't get flustered, stay true to yourself and your course! Humans are by design seeking balance when it comes to our metabolism and bodies, try shaking things up a bit, change you exercise, increase your weight or decrease you weights and do longer sets. Like not eating the same foods or the same amount of calories, we have to change our activities and intensity to keep our bodies fired up and guessing!!! You are doing so well!! =0)

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 06, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 32: No weigh in but I measured my hips and I lost 1/2 lb. I'm still a fat Donkey (or other word for donkey), as I carry all my weight from my knees to my waist.

Last night I pitched for girls' softball (ages 5-7). The pitching itself was fun, but the coaches are such jerks. If we're going to let people who are "out" stay on base because we feel sorry for them, then we totally deserve to lose every game that we do that. So there I am, thinking that the inning is over and lo and behold it's not because we're giving free passes. Then the **dads** from the other team start heckling me. Thanks. We give your girls a free ride and you go and put me down. Thanks. My jerk of a coach (another MAN) said, "it's not worth it." Yeah, I can tell, my feelings aren't worth it. And it's nice to know that you don't think the final score of the game is "worth it" either, even though our girls work their donkeys off. Thanks again. (Men and PMS do not mix well, methinks.)

I met a couple of cute little girls from the other team, though. One was Savannah, who I kept thinking was going to get beaned in the head with the ball, as they kept throwing the ball back to me after the play and she's right next to me. She had some funny things to say, like "Wow that pitch almost hit her face!" (Oops!) and "Is this where I should stand?" (Ask your coach) and my personal favorite "Where do I throw the ball to if I get it?" (You should throw it to first base.) (Eh, what the heck? if we're giving away outs, then I'll give away advice.)

Then another cutie I met was Chloe, who was wearing a Navy sweatshirt given to her by her brother who just returned home from duty somewhere. I kept calling her "Navy". "Hey, Navy! Way to go, Navy! Good play, Navy!" Her brother flies planes on the Navy carrier ships. My brother flies planes out of Air Force bases. So this was kind of a cute dialog, considering that there's nearly a 30 year age difference between the two of us.

So Donkey's feelings weren't totally crushed by the end of the game. But those feelings of resentment and hurt came back to me today during my workout --- which I *HATE* because it ruins a perfectly good workout, to contaminate a good thing with awful feelings like that.

That's why I'm so glad I have Diet Diaries to come to. I keep a journal on Sparkpages too, but I try to keep that one light and fluffy. This here is the real Donkey, manure and all.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 06/06/2007:
I am hoping that the "f_t donkey" talk is the PMS!!!! I was dying laughing at your post. Too sad in spots NOT to laugh! You hang in there Donkey and keep coming here as your real self - manure and all! We are crazy about you! (That or we are all just crazy - period) LOL!

greengirl on 06/06/2007:
MEN!!! They could not organise the proverbial p*ss up in a brewery!!! Why bother having rules to a game if you can make them up as you go along!! Typical men. Donkey, I hope you never change. Just tell it like it is, girl!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/06/2007:
i just wanted to respond to your comment. lol, sadly, i DO have a little of that mindset: "if i don't fit into X size, I must be a terrible person." you're right, its not about that...its such a hard thing to overcome? or, its so hard to change...to change a body shape, to rethink what a picture of health is... :)

biscottibody59 on 06/06/2007:
Above--didja mean 1/2 inch? That's great!

So does this softball stuff all tie in with the "everyone's a winner--no one's a loser" thing? If so, how frustrating. Crazy at any rate--but you're in there doing it, which is more than alot of parents do!

It would be so much more fun to teach 'em the fundamentals and let them have at it on their own. And work out their own arguments, while still watching just in case something dangerous is going on. If they're all going to get the same prize at the end anyway . . . When do kids just PLAY anymore?

Oh, we used to play scrub (softball, but you rotate, so everyone gets a chance to do it all) and that game where you just catch fly balls (can't think of the name) at recess twice a day sometimes. I'd play it today if I could.

I'm sounding old and crotchety, so I better go:-)

Scruffy on 06/07/2007:
Scruff was here :) He's a guy and true, PMS and Men don't mix well.....LOL

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 05, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 31: No weigh in today. Woke up feeling "heavy" in the stomach. I was mad at Husband last night so I put a LOT of raw garlic on my dinner salad. He ate half a pizza; I had one slice and a big garden salad (with the garlic). Donkey needs not fear any vampires, that's for sure. Of course, with breath like that, Donkey can hardly stand smelling her own breath.

Garlic is one of those flavors (onion too) that "causes" me to eat more because I'm trying to get the taste of the garlic out of my mouth. Coffee seems to be the only effective thing I have found. But last night, I enjoyed the taste of garlic (repeatedly) in my mouth, and then used the coffee "mouthwash" this morning. Enough is enough, after all.

I had a great workout at the gym, but the rain showers that we've had in IL are keeping me from seeking a second workout outdoors. I haven't given up on being a regular runner yet!

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

mcwoo40 on 06/05/2007:
Hi, i love garlic but it does'nt like me!!Gives me cronic heartburn.It is worse if only one of you has had the garlic as you don't want to get too close.The weather here in England is improving, but it can quickly change.Bye 4 now,Julie

greengirl on 06/05/2007:
Mmmm garlic. Can we take it that Mr Donkey is a vampire?? My hubby is not keen on it either so I have been there, done that when I have been annoyed with him, too!!!

Scruffy on 06/06/2007:
Scruff dropped by :)

Donkey - Monday Jun 04, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 30 --- Husband's day off and he's driving me nuts. I gotta try really hard not to eat in reaction. Ergh....

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/04/2007:
i know the feeling! thank you so much for the encouraging comments. i also eat in reaction...and i learned that my 67 year old colleague does it too. i always thought she had NO food issues...well, i was wrong. its something we can work on!

Donkey - Sunday Jun 03, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 29 --- somewhere I lost count and today is the REAL "Day 29"

I find that on days that I have to wake up early (because I don't get up early unless I have to), I want to eat more. I'm not sure if this is because I am tired or because the day is longer or what. Both Saturday and Sunday (today), I had to wake up and get going earlier than usual (for a weekday, and much more so for a weekEND).

Saturday I went to watch my friend run a race. Sunday I worked at a ministry table at church for the earliest Mass. Had more coffee than usual too, but I find myself fighting the "munchies".

That's ok though because I am determined to stay on track and committed to my diet and weight loss program. So far, I'm still within calorie range for being after lunch and so if dinner is reasonable, which it should be, then I should be just fine.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

greengirl on 06/03/2007:
Keep strong Donkey. To your own self be true !!!!

MyJuneWedding on 06/04/2007:
When you get up early do you start off with something for breakfast first or just head out? I've found easpecially on my days when my morning will be long and possibly tempting, starting my day off with oatmeal and something and having my balanced breakfast really helps me say no (especially to donuts omg I love chocolate cake donuts!) I also bring my mid snacks with me and take bee pollen int he a.m. which is suppose to help with appitite supression I've read. :-)

Donkey - Saturday Jun 02, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 29: You know, I may not even go to that stupid dysfunctional family reunion on Day 50, but I continue to count down anyway...

Had a great game today at girls' softball! It was so hard at the end, hot and tired, and the girls get those Hostess cupcakes (and a juice box) for their treat. Oh my, I can't even remember the last time I had a Hostess cupcake. So I came home and had a Fiber One bar instead. Probably about the same amount of calories, maybe a little less, but the FO bar has 9g of fiber! BornToCry would be proud. *sigh* I miss her here on Diet Diaries.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

greengirl on 06/02/2007:
I miss her too!!! Sounds like you had a good time at softball!! Keep up the good work!

Donkey - Friday Jun 01, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 28: Totally feel back on track and super motivated to STAY on track. Focusing on vegetables and fruit and fiber.

I see that gas prices will be affecting the price of milk (all dairy products) and meat soon, so I may be switching to vegetarianism just because that's what we can afford to eat!

Exercising is going so well. I've been focusing on doing slower workouts with more resistance on the elliptical, to get those super toned (skinnier) legs that I so long for.

AND I started weight training my upper body again! Yesterday was the first day since the April challenge ended. I've been having some shoulder/arm aches so I stopped doing that for a while. But now thanks to my new close and personal friend, Tylenol, I'm able to do some weight training with light(er) weights.

Rock on, Donkey!

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

jshawstad on 06/01/2007:
I left you a reply on my journal, please feel free to check it out.

hollybelle on 06/02/2007:
Good being back on track. I understand about the aches and pains - at 52, I am wondering if it is just going to be a fact of life from now on! Ah, my squandered youth! LOL

Soon2BThin on 06/02/2007:
Yes, rock on, Donkey!! The weights really help develop those muscles and help burn more fat. So keep it up. You're doing great!

biscottibody59 on 06/02/2007:
Oh, I love the little dramas that happen on here;-) In your defense I don't think you're too harsh--just realistic--and most of all genuine. You go Donkey! And keep up the good work!

maria777 on 06/02/2007:
Good on being on track! YAAAAYYYY!

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