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Donkey - Saturday Jul 11, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

YET ANOTHER POUND GAINED...  And I double-checked with my fancy scale and yes, I've gained a pound.  

With the symptoms that I was feeling this past week, along with the weight gain and no food fits, I'm becoming concerned to the point that if this continues, I will see my doctor.  First, though, I think I will need to track calories for a bit, to see if that's the problem.  Not so much for losing weight, but rather to show my doctor, "Hey look - this is what I'm eating and I'm STILL gaining weight." 

The weather has moderated a bit, so I have turned off the AC and opened the windows.  I had no fatigue in my leg muscles this morning.  In fact, I woke up at 4:10a to use the bathroom (too much water!), and couldn't fall back asleep, so I finally got out of bed at 5am.  I figured I can always take a nap later on today.  This NEVER happens during the week. But right now, I feel pretty good.  I'm not sure if it's the weather, or knowing that I don't have to go to work, or what.  

This may be just a bad spot that I'm in temporarily.  

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/11/2020:
I didn't get on the scale this morning which is my usual day. Afraid to!

Donkey on 07/12/2020:
May I laugh at this? Only because I can relate, although I'm feeling like I am almost daring myself to weigh in nowadays.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/11/2020:
this has been a really stressful spring/summer for you especially as you have pretty much worked straight through. maybe you can take a day off here or there? for mental release?

also, look at your chart: your weight went up during this stressful season of Spring, then you successfully lowered it in JUNE.

you were doing something very right to lower your weight back down in June - maybe look back or think back to what you did to successfully lose weight then.

you CAN do this. you know how.

not every change needs to be done at once. try to repeat successful things from june now in july and august.

try to take also time out for yourself.

your health matters.

try instead of focusing on the scale to focus on your movement and/or what you are consuming. cakes and cookies, especially a moderate piece of cake, add up a lot. I cannot really eat CAKES or other medium/large pastries due to this reason which is why i stick to cookies and things that are smaller and fit in better.

don't give up on yourself. you have your job and salary which is really so great at this time. and you have us of course here. lol?!

but really, i am trying to say don't let this unpredictable time and stressful time in history force you to have to undo all of the diligence and efforts you put in to moderate your weight.

are you still eating a lot of veggies?

when i go back to work, i may find myself back to more veggies.

of course it's easy for me right now because i am not up as many hours of you during the day to get as hungry over that many hours as you - try to stick to your proven methods to fill yourself up.

are you still having teas / coffees at work? are you still eating raw veggies? are you bored of them? can you have fruit and tea in the summer at work? a few almondss and fruit and tea?

if you crave carbs, have them. just keep it to one portion. i like to eat them mostly at the end of the meal to satisfy my need for sweet / carb / cracker / bread / etc.

go back to your entries, if you really are nervous about the weight, to when you were at your lower end...do what you did then. i really do think doing things like this should work for you.

Donkey on 07/12/2020:
You make some really good points here. I'm still eating lots of vegetables, although perhaps I am eating more carbs, although (with the minor exception) the portions are controlled.

I think I may be drinking more coffee... although if I am, it's only by one more cup. There are the calories that come from the creamer. One more cup of coffee is 50 extra calories.

I'm more stressed out. I'm lifting weights more consistently, although I see no improvement on this.

Hmm... well, you are so right that there are other positives to focus on. It's just so frustrating.

Donkey - Thursday Jul 09, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 144.5

 Today especially,  but all week actually,  I've been feeling a growing sensation of deep muscle and joint fatigue.  I used to feel this way right before TOM when I was anemic and not taking iron supplements.  But I take my iron faithfully.  And I'm certainly eating enough.  

All I can think it is that it must be the heat  -- except that o silence most of the day inside in the AC.  I have been very busy at work.  I've had headaches Tuesday and Wednesday (the worst,  all day long,  just on the verge of a migraine)...  But that shouldn't equate to physical fatigue  -- at least not to the level I'm experiencing. 

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. 

Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/10/2020:
Are you overdoing workouts?

Donkey on 07/10/2020:
No, nothing has changed. In fact, I'm doing less intensely because of the fatigue.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2020:
stress and work can def cause physical pain like headaches! maybe you need a day off soon?

Donkey on 07/11/2020:
Well, here it is Saturday, and I feel 100% better! Of course, we're having milder weather here, so maybe that has a lot to do with it? I'm still having issues, though, which I will write about today (Saturday).

Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2020:
that's good you take your iron faithfully...thank gosh you didn't have the diarrhea that i had...it's so unhealthy, i think, to lose so much water / nutrition in your gut so fast!

is something you are eating draining the iron anyways?

Donkey on 07/11/2020:
With taking iron, I have the opposite problem. Very, very difficult to go. I take a fiber supplement to help keep things moving- and even with that, it sometimes is a struggle to go :-(

I don't think that I am eating something that would negate the iron levels... I probably don't eat enough red meat, but UGH, I just get so beefed out after 2 days of it. And I DO NOT eat liver or any organ meat AT ALL. I'd rather take extra iron if that's what it takes.

Donkey - Tuesday Jul 07, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 144.5

 One of the "nice" things about Nice Lady being upset with me and not talking to me I'd that I am able to focus much more in getting work done.  I feel bad for her because I think she is lonely. My boss has become the same way.  Talking  just to talk.  This drives me nuts.  Is this my destiny as well? To become like this?  Will younger people write me off as lonely and annoying too?  Probably. 

I had too many tortilla chips at dinner last night.  That WAS my dinner because I just couldn't handle having tuna salad again.  Then,  after yoga,  I dove into a bag of marshmallows. 

Needless to say I have more energy today!  Gone is the fatigue I've felt the past few days, although my joints still ache a bit. 

I think last night's yoga will be it for this week. 

Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 07/07/2020:
Hope you have a good day and take a time out to step outside and enjoy the beauty of nature. Love, Maria

bearcountrygg on 07/07/2020:
They do sound lonely....probably a new issue we will all have to deal with.....I have a tendency to smile at people in the store...and realzed that with a mask...I still do that...but they don't see it......masks have taken away a lot of our connecting with others.....but so be it.

legcramps on 07/07/2020:
I'm glad to hear that you have more energy today! I'm sorry that Nice Lady is upset with you. Even if it is creating more space for you to focus, it's never a good feeling when you work around people who you are not getting along with. I hope this is rectified soon!

grannyannie on 07/07/2020:
Mmm marshmallows! At least you are energetic!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2020:
i'm glad that you can work in peace finally!

also, i don't think you have the tendency to be a "chatter" when you are older! i'm glad you can do your work today.

Donkey - Sunday Jul 05, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 144.5

Took today to rest, so my steps will be under 20,000 today. 

Still feeling quite discouraged about everything, but I'd rather keep this to myself. 

Not even sure I want yoga this week. 

Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/06/2020:
Hope you're okay soon.

KathyBlue on 07/06/2020:
My 5 year old kid nowadays, when he gets frustrated or something, he sits down or just stands, depending on the place where we are at that moment, closes his eyes and put himself into a yoga position and says "let me breathe in, and out, and think..." LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 07/06/2020:
it's OK to relax. take the week off and relax then...sending you a hug!

Donkey - Saturday Jul 04, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 144.5

 Gained 3 pounds...  Wow.  I don't even know what to say.

I'm not even sure what to change because I feel like I'm doing all the right things....

Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/04/2020:
i recommend to keep doing what you are doing...3 lbs can be lost much easier than 30lbs! so keep on, things fluctuate. sometimes i am surprised what i see on the scale too!

happy 4th! you don't have to ever make a thousand changes at once. try to think of only a little change or to keep doing what you are doing for further results! <3

thanks for asking about me!

bearcountrygg on 07/04/2020:
Scales do that...don't worry about it...a 4 pound range is totally normal....in either direction....

Donkey - Friday Jul 03, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

I think I could have done without this past week at work.  I won't spend any more energy on the negatives there.  I am off today (Friday) for the July 4th weekend - thank goodness, much needed time away.  Somehow it doesn't feel right to be at home, but I'll take it. 

Because of the extra day, I've washed the bedding and it's hanging outside to dry in the sanitizing sun.  It is already uncomfortably warm and promises to get only warmer as the day moves on.  Once the afternoon comes, I would like to work out in the front yard, which will be in the shade, to do some weeding.

 In my funk this week, the only goal I could come up with for July is to "just get through it".  And that made me so sad, because this is our summer month. (OK, August is too, but that has a twinge of autumn in it.  July is the REAL summer.)  What made me sad was that rather than wanting to enjoy summer or seize the day or make something of this time, my only goal was to hurry through it so that it would be over :-(

A LOT of THAT attitude is because of work and the rotten week I had.  I'm only going to get busier, which is ridiculous.  I just realized that a BIG part of the drain of work is all the DRAMA.  I need to shed all of that **** and focus on my balance.

I truly do want to enjoy this summer month.  Even just little joys like sitting out on my deck.  Watching birds build their nests.  Watching my butterfly garden come to fruition.  I'm so filled with negative emotions by the time I get off of work that it's impossible to enjoy the time I have at home.

So I do have a couple of goals for July:

  • Losing 2 pounds - still aiming for those 130's!
  • Weight training 2x week

I think that's it. 


Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/03/2020:
You'll get to the 130's!

Maria7 on 07/03/2020:
Sometimes it does feel that way...'just get through the month'...but we must not allow ourselves to get stuck in that depressive way of thinking...have to 'break' out of it and find JOY and PEACE...and be thankful that the Lord is giving us life to live...yes, it is a hot month and it is humid here in SC...smile!... I love that you wrote that August has a 'twinge' of autumn in it...I, too, usually begin feeling autumn coming in mid to late August and autumn my favorite season!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2020:
in one of the books i am reading, Chicago is listed as having the least rules for paralegals doing work in real estate. meaning paralegals working in real estate have a lot more they can do in Chicago than most places! i immediately thought of you!

That's right....enjoy your summer!!!!! Just enjoy this July as you should! go outside when you can, take walks maybe later in the evenings when it's cooler out (after 7:30!)...try to adjust your schedule and NOT be at everyone beck & call.

enjoy the summer you deserve to have. you work hard. play hard ;)

i don't mean tire yourself out, i mean enjoy the july month as you want to.

i surely won't stop you!

bearcountrygg on 07/04/2020:
You will get to the 130's....do something that you haven't done before...I need to take my own advise...LOL....But it's a tough thing to do.......in the past...switching things up worked for me...I'm just not motivated enough right now to drop the last 5.....I figure it will happen....but when...LOL...Thank you for the dish detergent ant spray idea....it works so well.....stops them in their tracks!!

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 30, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

 Oh yesterday was quite the challenge.  I don't enjoy getting yelled at by clients and agents for things that are not of my doing.  Mistakes Girl caused some of it with her mistakes.  The other was a client going off on me because his well & septic evaluation is taking too long.  Just pitiful to hear a grown man act like a baby throwing a tantrum.  And me getting the brunt of it. 

Yoga was very much needed last night.  I think I was the only one signed up,  though. And that's sad. 

Afterwards I had some ice cream,  which was a stupid thing to do.  Husband complained that there wasn't enough ice cream to fill a bowl,  but when I looked into both containers,  there was plenty in both! So I had some of both.  DUMB!

AND I did this after being secretly jealous of the officer manager at the PT clinic downstairs (the one who had the weight loss surgery) because her legs are so skinny,  while mine remain the size of tree trunks. 

No weight training,  no bike last night.  My mood is foul.  I'm feeling rather depressed. 

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/30/2020:
I think things are getting to everyone right now................we all seem to be either depressed or angry.....or just blah........I guess we didn't know how good we had it until a bunch of things were taken away. This too shall pass...in the meantime hopefully we can keep it together. ((HUGS))

Horn_of_plenty on 06/30/2020:
skinny legs isn't everything :) remember you have strength and health on your side!

also, i also dislike grownups who have temper tantrums!

i also struggled to exercise last night and it left me out of starts. i guess we have to plan it to be more important!

Maria7 on 06/30/2020:
Our ice cream is gone now and must resist it. It is so good!

grannyannie on 06/30/2020:
Sorry about the work issues. Very stressful!

happy-1 on 06/30/2020:
Didn't we already have the conversation about how women are trying to get "Thick" legs? I mean, the way you talk about it... I keep picturing an alien from Star Wars and I doubt that.

Maria7 on 07/01/2020:
Hope you have had a happy July 1st.

Donkey - Monday Jun 29, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

 Today will be tougher because I did not sleep well at all last night. So I'm starting the day very tired.  

Slipped up a bit last night and had too many tortillas chips with dinner ~ 3 cups worth,  give or take.  Well,  at least I didn't have any dessert cravings after that.  The chips are so good when first opening the bag. Ahh...  This is why I weigh too much.

I did not do weights, either.  I just not work up the motivation to do so.  Just sad. 

I'm signing up for online yoga for tonight and Thursday.  My daughter has plans tonight,  so it will be just me,  and I think online is fine. 

I'm not going to Tuesday yoga because the instructor posted pictures on Facebook that she had a family get together over the weekend - no masks,  no social distancing.  I don't like doing her classes online,  so there you go. 

On this topic,  Associate Attorney posted a video on his Facebook feed that he took at my church.  It was a celebration of an Eagle scout project - again,  no masks,  no social distancing.  I was SO tempted to call him out on that,  on Facebook,  but I didn't want to make any church enemies - BUT I might  talk to him about it in person. 

I'm so glad it will be a short work week. 

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/29/2020:
I feel your frustration with people....I have it too...but unfortunately there will always be the rebels...and as we used to tell our kids..."It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt or puts an eye out or in this case gets sick"......about all we can do is protect ourselves and set an example....I also have friends who are against masks.....we have a lot in common...but not that....frustrating but...we will still wear them....D went into the hardware a couple of times without one...and I wasn't happy about it...and now i see he wants to order some...i think he changed his mind when i showed him the drawing of what being on a ventilator looks like from the inside...both his Mom and My dad were on them years ago....and I reminded him of that....now he is wearing masks again...maybe some people just need to see the reality of it.....I hope you stay safe from their bad habits....

legcramps on 06/29/2020:
I've started telling myself that I just need to mitigate the risk as much as I can, and hope for the best. In the end, stressing over something I have no control over is not going to create a positive state of mind. And I NEED to be able to control my own state of mind!

happy-1 on 06/30/2020:
People are just reverting to old ways... I think social pressure to wear one and gentle encouragement to remember that even though the spike in identified cases correlates with the spike in testing, there's no proof that asymptomatic people aren't passing it, kids need their parents to stay healthy, and even if you aren't old or infirm, getting it can really take you out and be a serious financial setback. https://keyt.com/health/2020/06/30/he-was-an-athlete-in-the-best-shape-of-his-life-then-covid-19-nearly-killed-him/

happy-1 on 06/30/2020:
And I say that, but honestly, I'm ready to just write DNR somewhere on myself with a permanent marker and go to the beach.

Guess working in the garden tonight is a priority.

Donkey - Sunday Jun 28, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

One wrinkle in this going-to-the-gym debate is that the hours have been curtailed.  Instead of being 24/7, now they are open from 5a-10p.  Since my daughter works 2nd shift, the 10p closing time doesn't work for her, since she gets off at 11p.  She could go before work, but she's not really a morning person.  

Alls I know for sure right now is that I'm SO glad it's a shortened week this week, because of the 4th of July holiday this coming up weekend.

I did legs and chest and back weight training yesterday.  Not a lot, but enough.

I realized this morning that I've basically wasted my time this first half of 2020.  Well.... maybe that's not fair of me to say, because everything changed with COVID.  Perhaps if I had been able to continue at the gym, that things would have been different.  

This is the year that I turn 50 (soon), and I decided that I'm going to give myseklf the rest of this year (2020) to work my inner thigh problem.  And at the end of the year, if I'm still struggling with my fat knees (and fat inner thighs), I am going to consult with a medical professional about doing something about it.

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/28/2020:
Do whatever makes you feel good and confident. You go girl.

Maria7 on 06/28/2020:
You're still young! I remember at age 50, I didn't feel 'still young' but the older you get, looking back you see that you were 'just a baby'! As for wasting time in 2020...The way I look at it, we've all been struggling and with the good Lord's help, STILL HERE, thank the Lord. All we can do is to try to 'manage' things, according to my very wise Aunt..and forget about perfection. Just do the best we can and keep on keeping on. Hope you have a blessed day.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2020:
Guess what ! I just realized I have a big inner thigh issue too! It’s probably my most fatty area / most cellulite on my white body. I think my own work will include possibly changing my leg routine / switching the legs exercises. I was told that abducting ? Or adddicting - the one away from the body move - is a great one - I plan to add that move in - maybe laying on floor or standing not sure - but the one THat moves hips / thighs away from body. And in terms of being 50, you are still relatively young. I am a decade behind you - but when we first met, around a decade ago, you were my age ! Meaning time moves and keep thinking young. I know two men who are 60, both looking no older than 50 - young at heart bc they keep moving -

grannyannie on 06/29/2020:
50 isn't old! My son will be 50 next year!

Donkey - Saturday Jun 27, 2020
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 141.5

This is the last weekend weigh-in for June, although for my goals, I can still weigh in on Tuesday, June 30th.  I'm not sure if I will or not...

I did not get into the 130's as I had hoped.  I had a couple of rough weeks where I strayed away from being focused on my goals, but I was able to see where the problem lies - I EAT TOO MUCH - and made some progress this week.

Last night was tough though.  Dinner was shrimp and salad, and I was fine, but it didn't hold me, so I went to bed a little hungry.  Oh how I wanted a dish of ice cream, but I wanted the best possible weigh-in today, so I made myself a big thing of flavored water (artificially sweetened, unfortunately) and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Today, my gym opens up for the first time since the COVID shelter-down.  With COVID numbers going up - although I think Illinois has been keeping it lower and steady - I think it's too soon for my comfort level to go back.  I can put my membership on hold, but my husband and my daughter can't WAIT to get back into the gym.  My hesitation comes in where, what if I suspend my membership for July and then regret it because I can't go with them?  

Granted I wouldn't be able to go with them often because they usually workout at 11:30p when my daughter gets off of work, but on my daughter's days off, we would all go together -- unfortunately, going to the gym with them on M/Tu/W would cut into 2 of the yoga classes I attend at the studio.

Also, I'm starting to think that I should do studio yoga from home - this too because of COVID.  The Tuesday class is best when it's attended live - the instructor doesn't translate well online - but she does this deep breathing (very common in yoga) that is shooting germs into the air!  If I'm the only one in the studio, I can stand farther away than 6 feet from her, but ... UGH!!!   The expulsion of the breath is exactly why we should all be wearing masks -- and then to go to a class where I'm actively doing this on purpose???

Finally, my last reservation about going to yoga or the gym is that I'm not all that confident that I am 100% healthy.  I was talking to Nice Lady about this, because she thinks it's only a matter of time before we all get it.  I said that maybe we all have had it (non-symptomatic) and just don't realize it.  But then I reconsidered that because I think if COVID came into my house, my husband would have serious symptoms due to his auto-immune condition.

In spite of the heat and humidity here, I have outside stuff to do.  I would like to repot 2 plants, gotta hang the laundry outside, I want to hose down a large rug and let it dry in the sun.

This is the last weekend I have to read the yoga book I checked out from the library before COVID.  I might try to do that.

Mostly, my goals this weekend are to:

  • Stay cool
  • Weight training
  • Use as little electricity as possible, since we have the air conditioner running.
  • Start thinking of July goals

Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/27/2020:
If your husband and daughter are going to the gym you might as well go too. Anything they pick up there they are bringing home to you.

With asthma, I'm in the risk group so just not doing anything with extra risk I can do at home. Contemplating canceling Disneyland pass as well. I'll still do stuff like hiking, food shopping, try to go back to work when I can...

I think it's not a matter of not getting it... Just controlling when you get it... Give it enough time for health professionals to have some idea of what works and what doesn't. Supposedly a vaccine could be out in September/October. And it is summer anyway. Time to be outdoors.

Donkey on 06/27/2020:
I feel like someone turned on the lights! I can't believe I was so dense - DUH! You are absolutely right about getting sick from family members going to the gym. The only one we're all really worried about is my husband getting sick, and he is hellbent on going.

I've heard that the vaccine won't be out until early next year, but by Sept/October there could be some promising anti-body therapies.

But for husband who has a suppressed immune system, HE's the one that should not be going anywhere. Yet, I completely understand WHY he really wants to go.

grannyannie on 06/27/2020:
I got an email from my gym asking when I would come back after they reopen. I said when there is a vaccine! I do miss it though.

Donkey on 06/27/2020:
Well, I would definitely feel more confident about going once there is a vaccine - that AND work has to slow down a bit.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2020:
just so you know, i don't do well with a light protein and salad dinner either. you can always sneak a small snack in later in the night or after the meal. like a couple small chocolates. on quarantine, i have been snacking more than usual in efforts not to binge and it has helped me.

i agree with you, and others, who say that it's not the time to head back to the gym. i totally think you should wait it out and maybe not go back for AWHILE. i think that by going to the gym, you are setting yourself up (and all the others going back) to get sick.

Donkey on 06/27/2020:
Yes, it's probably a good idea to have a planned snack in mind, for these types of situations. That way, if I check in and I'm really hungry, I know what to eat, and then stop.

bearcountrygg on 06/27/2020:
If the leader is huffing and puffing i would not go either.....by the time that class would be over the air would be full of her...lets just call it her carbon dioxide and who knows what else.....

Donkey on 06/27/2020:
EXACTLY what I was thinking!!! 2 weeks ago, when it first happened, I was unprepared. This past Tuesday, it was like, I guess this is going to be a regular thing.

It's "Slow Flow" yoga, and the point behind it is to become aware of one's breath, and then to connect one's movement with one's breath. But exhaling hard and open-mouthed --- just like Horn said above, This is not the time to be doing that.

happy-1 on 06/28/2020:
I think being healthy (working out, eating right, getting sun) is generally the better choice overall because there's general benefit. If the only place he can go is the gym, he should go.

Donkey on 06/28/2020:
My husband dislikes going outside. Immensely. I never quite realized that until this year - perhaps because I am yearning to be outside more and more. So as you can see, we're rather incompatible at the moment.

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