Feeling physically better, but mentally, I'm not in a good place. Work is back to kicking my butt. Fortunately, it's not co-workers, but clients and file dynamics. I've come to the conclusion that this is because a full moon is coming up. Sure enough! Not only is it a full moon, but some places on earth will witness the longest lunar eclipse in like the next 100 years or so. AND the planet Mercury is in retro-grade, which means that it appears that Mercury is moving backwards in the sky, but this is because of its relative position to earth and it's shorter orbit around the Sun.
Yes, all of this wonderous astro-nature is causing havoc with my files. I truly believe this. We can always tell when the moon is full. And this one's a doozy.
So work is a source of stress and not joy or accomplishment (which it used to be, at one point, but that point has passed; too much has changed). This stress would normally be OK, except that it dominates the majority of my time during the day... and zaps a lot of mental strength from me -- to the point of draining me physically too!
Anyway, the nice thing is that I know this will pass. I just have to ride it out. Hormones, full moons, retrograde planets -- it comes and it goes. When I was younger, from the age of 10 until well into my 30s, I used to sink into these terrible, long-term depressions. Now with age, I have the insight of my 40's to know that this too shall pass. And I'll be OK.
I'm not ready to talk about the new habit I'm trying -- desperately trying -- to establish. I want to give it more time to see if it will set before I evaluate. I would almost call it "experimental" except that it's nothing original -- just my mental approach is "experimental" this time. It's been a struggle this week, which again, is not helping my mood any.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
Oh Lordy in a lot of pain this morning, but took Tylenol, Motrin, IcyHot, strong coffee, endorphines (from light stationary biking), and I think the rest of the day will be OK. Hormones kickin' my butt today.
It is cool, cloudy, breezy here today, with impending rain or sprinkles coming. I'm OK with this. Planning to run some errands with Mr. Donkey later today. Other than that, I don't have anything else to say right now. I hope to check in later, but if it's a low-key day, I think I'd be OK with that too.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
don't feel bad for taking time to have that low key time that makes you happy. i for one need it also...
i hope the pain goes away...sometimes coffee may make things worse,no? although, i noticed some hormone medicnies for camps have caffeine in them! maybe because people tend to feel very lethargic at that time of the month is my guess.
I'm rather thrilled that the Ironman scale has FINALLY weighed me in at a number LOWER than 130. I almost feel like this validates my weigh-in this week, LOL. And of course, I was happy to see the number on my regular scale this morning as well:
REGULAR SCALE: 127.5
IRONMAN SCALE: 129.0 / Fat % 25.9 / Water % 51.4 / Muscle 90.8 <<< I think that means 90.8 lbs of muscle.
The only concern was the bone density number came in at 4.8, which I usually am in at 5.0. If I remember correctly from the user's booklet, 5.0 is the standard number for healthy women's bone density. This number fluxuates a LOT with this scale, though. If it continues to go down, then I will get more concerned.
I figured that this week would be a successful weigh-in. I was quite mindful of my food intake yesterday. Plus, I stopped drinking water at 9pm, instead of refilling my water bottle for those last few sips, AND after I turned off the light, I felt what might have been some hunger. Not sure if it was hunger or upset or what. I woke up this morning pretty hungry until I had that first cup of coffee. Then I was OK until after 9am to eat.
As with maintenance, I do not expect my numbers to remain at this level.
Turns out the boss has shingles.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
also, with the scales, you know how to maintain your weight, and what helps and what hurts, the scale is just a validation as to what you are already doing...
also, i wanted to tell you a short story about a woman i work with now. she's so nice. very into fitness. she's around 44 i think and divorced now but has kids to take care of, she's pretty busy, lives with her kids and her parents right now who are around 80. anyways, although she may be 44 and you'd think she's learned to stabilize her weight a little bit, which she has....she has a wedding to go to...
...i went with her to buy a dress at Express...one day at work..and she says, "i'm going to go home and weigh myself right away, i can't gain a lb for this dress to fit just like i did today for when i go to the wedding..."...but it's not the scale, it's her habits and her choices that will make or break it. and we all know that she will not change weigh much in the course of a month (the weddings and other events she's going to are in the summer/early fall). so, i thought in my head that the scale isn't going to help her as much as her habits and routine will for this time...
i did say something to her, like that the scale is what it is, but she knows what to do already...and that she'll be fine as long as she keeps making good choices as she already does. remember it's not the scale that determines things, but your own mind!
Feeling better today. Yesterday, it seems that if anything could go wrong it did, including tearing my contact lens and causing annoying irritation to my eyeball. Then I burned that same eyeball, by rinsing off my new contact lens, but not washing my hands thoroughly enough after eating raw poblano peppers. When I popped that lens back into my eye - YOWZA!!!! Good thing it was at the end of the day, because I was like, "I cannot work like this, I am going home."
My soreness was a combination of hormones, over-extension of hips, a little arthritis in the hips, and a tiny bit of actual fatigue. I feel much better today.
Work should be interesting today, with most everyone gone. My Boss is still suffering with back/hip pain, so he'll be in for only a few hours, and probably in the afternoon. My male co-worker has today and tomorrow off. Queen Bee is working abbreviated hours this week because her son has camp. (Abbreviated hours but not abbreviated pay, unlike the rest of us who have to actually work to get paid.) So that leaves the receptionist clerk (the one who makes a million mistakes on every file she touches), the Associate attorney, and his Secretary. I've tried to elevate the Secretary to "bankruptcy specialist" or "legal assistant" but the Associate insists on calling her Secretary. She's actually smarter than he is and knows more about legal procedure than he does.
Oh see how the toxicity of the workplace starts to infect my life so subtlely and easily?
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
GLad to hear you are feeling a bit better TODAY!
that's why he doesn't want her position elevated, he feels a challenge towards his abilities if she gets a raised title...
people do not all want others in the company to rise in title or pay if they aren't getting that for themselves too...its politics.
don't let the office politics get under the skin...
Very achy and sore today. Hips and lower back not co-operating. Taking care and pre-cautions to heal. Very hungry, but delaying my eating until I get to work, as is my usual routine to have my oatmeal breakfast at work.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
what's wrong? why are you not feeling good? just tired? hormones?
Checking in.... Thank goodness the temperatures and humidity are more managable and I was able to turn off the AC yesterday. (See my comment to Bear's comment on my last entry for more insights.)
Food has been good; exercise has been good. Stamina has much improved. I was feeling that muscle fatigue in my legs last week, telling me that something was going on with the muscles, but that seems to have reconciled itself, and I find myself choosing harder challenges on the new execise bike (more resistance).
I've been working on adding a new habit, but I'm not sure it's established yet... so I'll hold off on saying anything more at this time, but I'm mentioning it now because I want to comment on it, whether it sticks or not.
Work was weird yesterday. The boss hurt his back -- just like I did the last time, hips misaligned causing pressure on a nerve -- so I was covering more bases than usual. I hope he feels better soon. Nothing ages you faster than back pain. My husband said to me, "Start looking for a new job."
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
my stamina is going up too :) my legs also feel something, muscle cramps. they now sell lots of water with electrolytes...i plan to get that time to time this summer i think i need it...perhaps helping with my leg cramps here and there. i get leg cramps occasionally, not everyday or week. lately it's more often...
i am intrigued to hear most def about your new habit when you see fit to mention it. one new "semi-habit" i want to keep is being able to bike to the gym. it's def 2 workouts in one and diff leg muscles that actually make my legs feel better rather than worse after walking too much, etc.
don't listen to your husband...keep the job. keep the routine that makes you $$$....then you can concentrate on other goals like your fitness, family, house maintenance...
back pain has got to be the worst...supposedly some people feel back pain when it's stress only...that really gets to them so much they feel the stress physically...per a book i once read.
Looking forward to hearing about the new habit.
The humidity here in Chicagoland is just unreal. It was very damp this morning - could not get any laundry to dry. Now that the sun has come out, it will start to get hot, too. I'm hoping that by Monday night, I can turn off the AC for a while.
Still, the weather did not stop me from taking a walk this morning. It was too early for lunch, so why not? I was on a journey to find one house that didn't have their AC on, but could not find anyone. Everyone has their windows shut, so I feel kind of validated that I'm OK having the AC on. (Yes, sometimes I feel guilty for having the AC on.)
Husband and I are on our own for dinner tonight, with both kids at work this evening. Tomorrow, though, both will be home. I'm sure a greater part of the day will be spent dealing with the car that won't start.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
With respect to husbands, I have become much more relaxed about turning on the AC in consideration of my husband's AS. Good sleep is *essential* for his symptom management, and high humidity causes just awful soreness in his back and neck.
what happened now with your car!? i do not think i read about this previously..
Oh I feel so much thinner today at 129.0 --- NOT. I'm really surprised at this number because I do not feel thinner, and rather feel bloated and "thick". I don't know how to explain feeling "thick" except that it's the complete opposite of feeling lean. I mentioned previously that I'm having some hormone/female issues this month. This seems to have evolved into bathroom problems, too, or instead... something.
My scales seem to be consistent with each other, although the one weighs me higher than the other. The higher scale measures muscle/fat % and oh how I wish I had kept better track of the muscle %. In fact, I think moving forward, when I weigh in on Saturdays, I'm going to start tracking muscle/fat/bone %, rather than focusing on the overall number -- although, I will still keep track of the overall weight number for now. My goal, though, is to "let go" of the weight number by the end of this year, so that in 2019, presuming we're all still here, I will be logging weight only once a month, but tracking the other factors on a weekly basis. This would be a HUGE step for me.
Not much planned for this weekend, seeing as the weather is not very cooperative. The kids' shared car is out of commission, so until that gets fixed (or worse - replaced), I'll be doing some driving kids around to their respective jobs. You know me by now though that I have to have some task at hand to keep my day organized or I devolve into sloth and gluttony.
Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!
The lack of public transportation in these suburbs is so sad. Need a car to get ANYWHERE.
Checking in, but not much to say. I'm bracing for another heatwave coming on Friday and lasting through Monday night. *sigh* Not that it matters because the mosquitos are so bad this year.
And I'm having a particularly difficult month - things just feel off this month. So things are just out of sorts and I'm not feeling very encouraged at the moment.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
maybe buy a real Cintronella plant ! my parents had one to help with the mosquitos in their backyard.
Now that I've been back on-plan for 4 or 5 days straight, I'm feeling in control again and can't believe that I actually considered giving up just a few days ago. It's crazy how much of a roller-coaster my emotions can go through when dealing with food and my desires to overeat junk. Thankfully the emotional roller-coaster is mostly just on food based stuff.
I accomplished my weekend chore list for the most part. I am waiting for my husband's clothes to dry outside so that I can bring them in. Also, I am waiting for the 2 cleaned cat boxes to dry in the sun. I'll bring those in and refill them. The corn litter I use for them is so much more environmentally friendly and dust free. Very easy to handle, and the cats like it - as long as I buy the GREEN bag, and not the RED bag or the BLACK bag. Apparently, although they are the same material, the formula is different as my one kitty will make sure that I know this.
Both of my children have work this afternoon until the late night (11pm), so my husband and I have the afternoon, dinner hour, and evening free for ourselves. I'm sure there are chores that I could do around the house, but I am using this afternoon to relax and enjoy. I have found that taking time for one's own pleasure makes a significant difference in how I enter the work week. If I don't have that ME time, work is so much more stressful.
I've decided that I'm going to continue my evening workouts - as long as there are still episodes of GBBO to watch (LOL) - and the BCAA (amino acid) experiment because these are things that I feel I get some added benefits from, even though they do not necessarily reflect well on the scale.
The middle of the year was last weekend, Saturday into Sunday. I feel that this year has been about finding that balance in life, whether it be mind/body, work/life, etc. I don't know that I'll achieve that, but I'm getting better at it.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
i think finding a balance in life is very similar to maintaining weight...balance in life tends to go a little better at times or up at times and back down at times. and we try our best to moderate thru it...and ENJOY life too! haha.
i hope you enjoy your time with your hubby :) and your me time...lately i'm not having enough alone time and starting to feel it!
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Well Donkey....you are exactly right...this too shall pass...HUGS!
horn_of_plenty on 07/25/2018:
i've begun to feel this way the past few days also - definitely hormonal too. i'm spiking downward into another low energy state...like BCGG said, it will pass.
maybe reserve more time for rest...i'm once again finding myself needing extra rest, wish i could sleep in during the week to get it.
horn_of_plenty on 07/26/2018:
i appreciate your comments and jposts on fb...i replied late due to being slightly wrapped up in other things as of late :)
legcramps on 07/26/2018:
Oh yes, I had forgotten about the full moon! I hope its havoc doesn't do too much damage to you!