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Donkey - Monday Feb 21, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

Yesterday was such a nice day!  Did the gym, went for a walk (which was not easy with the strong winds, but I'm glad I went).  Filled up the bird feeders, read a little bit of the sports nutrition book I checked out.  Daughter and I watched an old movie that we (she and I) usually watch around Christmas or New Year's, but couldn't this year.  It was so nice to spend time with her.  

It's funny, but on weekends, I get this inner vision of myself as a positive person.  I picture myself how I would deport myself at work, as a serene and helpful person.  But when Monday morning comes around, I start feeling the dread of facing a wall of negativity.  I realize that this wall is my own.  When I get to work, most everyone there is very cheerful or at least pleasant ("How was your weekend?  What did you do?"). It's not like I am walking into a room of the cold and silent.  

I like to keep my weekends to myself, and separate from work, so the "How was your weekend" chatter kind of annoys me.  I've come up with some generic responses - "Too short" or "Kind of quiet" - those seem to keep the chitchat to a minimum.  But my Boss loves to talk about what he did, who he saw, blah blah blah.  Associate Attorney will do that too, if you get him started, and he usually does a LOT on the weekends. He's not the one to be staying home quietly. 

New Gal was out on Friday, so she will have a lot to do today.  However, the title companies are closed because of the holiday, so hopefully it will be a quiet day for me. I would be completely OK with that. I wish I could be in a room with my plants, but since I have no windows, my plants at work have been hanging out with Male Co-Worker in his new office.

Focusing on nutrition today.  Yoga tonight!

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/21/2022:
I agree...The planning is often a lot easier than carrying it all out!!! But it sounds like you have the right answer to cutting the conversations short. Sounds like the boss is only coming to work to get out of the house....which as a business owner is quite unusual...Usually they want to get right to work once they spend a couple minutes socializing among their office. But he has a difficult situation at home with his wife so it's probably a refuge for him at work. Love to hear that you too are focusing on nutrition today!!

Donkey on 02/22/2022:
I just hate that he's using work as his therapy and escape to avoid his home situation. The Lord calls us to take care of our own house first.

Maybe it's just a peeve of mine that I should let go -- except that it affects me. ARGH!!!

horn_of_plenty on 02/21/2022:
i also live a very separate weekend pace compared to the pace of the work week and can relate. you can put a positive spin on your short weekend answers: "it was relaxing; it was well-spent, it was productive, i got most thingsi wanted done, i enjoyed it with my husband, i enjoyed it with my family,etc etc"

when you are at the gym, that's not home and silent! you can also say, " i got to go to the gym which was so nice!" ifthey ask what you did, just say you did your regular routine ;)and leave it at that...

i hope you pay a visit to your plants! you sound good today. i hope it's an easier workload type of day. either way, Happy Monday xoxo

Donkey on 02/22/2022:
Yeah, nobody wants to hear about my weekends at the gym, LOL. Maybe THAT'S the approach I should take. "Let me tell you about my workouts!"

It was too busy to spend time with my plants. I'll write more about it in today's entry. It's OK, but won't be OK for much longer.

horn_of_plenty on 02/21/2022:
and bear is right; most people at my work do NOT talk about their weekends extensively. especially the high ranking exec...no way will he do that.

Donkey on 02/22/2022:
He doesn't realize what a bore he is. LOL!

Maria7 on 02/21/2022:
Enjoy your yoga!

Donkey on 02/22/2022:
I *DID* enjoy it immensely. And I thought of your comment, to enjoy, before I sat down for the Zoom class, to remind myself. Oh yes, it was very, very nice!

Donkey - Sunday Feb 20, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

I was very motivated to get to the gym early this morning.  Didn't leave quite as early as I had hoped, but early enough and it was still fine - not very crowded, was able to use the machines I wanted to, great - right?  Not so great.  I'm not sure what happened but I wasn't at 100%.  I did a much easier elliptical workout and I did only 3 upper body weight machines.  When doing the weights, I started feeling not-real-great, so I left.  I had planned to stop at Target to pick up some things, but I decided just to come home instead.  I feel better now, and I still want to take an outdoors walk later today.  Soon perhaps.  

Last night I had a brainstorm of things I would like to do for myself:

  • Take a class on indoor gardening (hydroponics) offered by one of the local plant stores.
  • Take a class for women on responsible gun ownership & basic shooting skills offered by one of the local shooting ranges. It's kind of a country/rural drive to get to, but I like the range.
  • Take a couple of other yoga classes offered by the gym, to see if I like them.  These are offered during the week and done in a warmer room, which has discouraged me.  However, as my teacher suggested, I am itching to do more active yoga - just not with her via Zoom.  Might as well take free classes, even if they are inconvenient, to see if this is really missing or if it's just a feeling I'm having.
  • I had an idea for my next job that I'm kind of keeping on the back burner.  Right now, I want to stay as long as Mistakes Girl is there, because I really like working with her.  I anticipate that she will leave anytime after March 9th, for pregnancy bedrest.  I think it will be OK.

My eye appointment went well.  My eyes were dilated and the optometrist took a look.  The retina is still attached (GOOD) but it looks like some of the gel in my eyeball is breaking off, which results in more floaters. It's part of aging and with me being near-sighted, it's more likely to happen too.  Because I have an eye condition, this can be billed under medical insurance.  Thank you, Obamacare.

Also, I got my dental insurance straightened out.  It is not through any of my Husband's benefits, but something that my Husband purchased for me, I believe when I signed up for Obamacare.  The paperwork for this has been straightened out.

The insurance issue for my bloodwork has NOT been straightened out.  It's impossible to get through Blue Cross; the doctor's office is no help and can't get through to Blue Cross either.  I think I am going to get stuck paying for the blood test and probably the thyroid panel too, once that bill comes through.  Oof...  Oh well, I can make installment payments because they don't want to send the bill to collections, so it's manageable.  Just a little unpleasant.

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/20/2022:
I'm glad that you started feeling better.....wouldn't want to wast a weekend off feeling crummy. Sounds like a pretty good report from the eye doctor.

horn_of_plenty on 02/20/2022:
I'm also glad you started to feel better later. I have had a couple bouts where i went to the gym and actually had to leave early bc of a similar thing. perhaps you just needed to relax.

That indoor gardening class sounds AMAZING!

March 9th is right around the corner, when mistakes girl might leave. time really flies.

i'm glad the eye issue is ok but also can be billed thru insurance.

i do think you should keep trying to get thru with Blue Cross. maybe there's something online where you can request a phone call....

...a neighbor that is in dialysis for years now and doesn't work, around 55yo, all the time in the world, had an issue with amazon....and actually requested a phone call...the opposite way most of us want to solve things...

so i figure if he can actually get thru to amazon, you may have a chance getting thru to blue cross on the phone..

Donkey - Saturday Feb 19, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

Diet-wise, yesterday was a complete disaster.  So I guess I am grateful that the number on the scale was kinder this morning, even though it's a 0.5 gain.

There's no great loss without some small gain, so even though it was a disaster of a dieting day, I learned some significant things about myself:

  1. I was really stressed out about my health issues.  The eye doctor appointment just sent me off the deep-end with worry.  I realized I was trying to just sluff it off like, "I'm sure it's nothing" - but you know what??? I was really worried about it.  If I had just been honest with myself, I might have been able to handle the stress better.
  2. Having those extra healthy carbs midday REALLY makes a significant difference in how I handle sugar cravings and emotional eating.  I forgot to eat my baked potato at work, and that sent me into a spiral of stress eating at work, before my eye doctor appointment.
  3. I'm proud of myself, at least, for remembering to do my daily push-ups for my February challenge.

Right now, I'm at the point where Maria said something to the effect of: if it's not in the house, I won't eat it.  I'm vulnerable right now, so best not to have these types of goodies around me to tempt me.  This is much more difficult to do at work, with title companies bringing in stuff and the Boss always, ALWAYS bringing in crap.  But at least if it's not at home, that's a good first step.

I'm also at the point, with Bear, where I need to make the reduction of stress a priority in my life.  I'm so tired of going to work and instantly feeling negative the minute I see the Boss' car in the parking lot.  Or getting peeved at Associate Attorney.  Or being afraid of New Gal.  I'm just tired of it.  Let me be clear:  there is drama like this at any workplace.  This isn't them; this is ME that I'm talking about. I need to work on ME and MY reactions.  I need to be my own first priority and work on better, healthier coping mechanisms.  I've got to stop doing this sabotage to myself.

I decided not to push to get to the gym early this morning.  I can do that tomorrow if I want.  I'm planning to go this afternoon around 2pm, but I may not even do that.  I'm not sure yet.  I'd like to read, watch the DVD I checked out from the library, finish the jigsaw puzzle.  I've started laundry and I realized that the stairs need to get shampooed/cleaned, which is a satisfying but taxing chore to do.

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/19/2022:
Stress and poor eating seem to go hand in hand.......Why I NEVER tied the two together escapes me. Potatoes provide a good source of potassium....the body needs that and craves it.....Hope you took that potato home to enjoy this weekend. You are doing super with your exercise....!!! What Maaria said is so true.....we eat what is available....if it isn't there and we want it...we have to make a choice and either eat something else...or go get in the car and get it.....I NEVER go get in the car for a craving....That solves it for me right there.......With your husband now on a restrictive diet....it would be a good time to not add more of the less nutritious stuff.....Hope your eye dr appontment went well...you are marking those medical things off your list and soon they will be behind you....and that will be really nice.

Donkey on 02/20/2022:
I realized that I did not write about my eye appointment, which went well. I'll mention that today.

You're right - getting those things checked off my list. It seems as though the snow storms keep getting added back onto the list though, LOL. We're getting another one on Thursday.

horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2022:
I commented on your Wednesday's entry. you don't to respond there bc i will prob accidentally forget to go back there and check...will let you know when i catch up on other days..

Maria7 on 02/19/2022:
Hey, there. We're all only human...we're not perfect...We do our best to not overeat, not let stress get to us...Sometimes we're successful, sometimes not. Don't give up. Keep on keeping on. If one day you are retired, looking back, all these present work situations you find yourself in just won't matter anymore. And you will be relieved that they no longer exist. I know I am. I went through some very strange things when I was working at different places. At one place, I was locked in the bathroom for a while as a joke. The bathroom was tiny with no windows, so quite claustrophobic in there. Eventually the guys (all guys worked there but me, as I had my own office and was bookkeeper, secretary, etc.) decided to let me out. They thought it was very funny. This was only one of different things I encountered while working. Gone are those days and I laugh about them now, ha. Yes, regarding food, if it is in the house, it is going to be tempting to eat it. Some things are more tempting than others. So, pick what you can say no to and try to refrain from what you have a weakness for.

Donkey on 02/20/2022:
So true, so very true about these work things some day being far behind me... none of it will matter. I will try not to allocate so much of my emotional energy to these little dramas.

That's shocking about being locked in the bathroom -- that would never happen these days, without some kind of repercussions. Still, being locked in the bathroom means you can't do your work, so it's actually stupid for them to have done that.

So it could always be worse.

horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2022:
i also wrote you back for Thurs/fri but please do not respond to these comments bc i would miss your responses due to them being so far down the page.

Donkey on 02/20/2022:
OK - thank you for mentioning that you have commented, so that I do go back and read them. I do, and I appreciate your comments always.

horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2022:
now, on today's entry...i couldn't agree more with you that there are stresses at every job and to try to limit how "you let it affect you." the men i work with, aren't as tightly strung as us women. the executive is friends with one of his subordinate project managers. he was actually telling him yesterday morning that he needs to lose weight and watch his diet rather than train better! can you imagine how annoyed you'd be if your boss said that to you!? the project manager simply said, ok, i have to get back to my work and phone call i have to make...he did let it go...he has thick skin...doesn't like to argue. men are soooo different!

reducing stress is a good way to go...for instance,one way i reduce stress after a busy workday isto try to not also be running around doing a thousand different errands after work...or if i have many errands,i try to do it one day after work,rather than two days in a row after work...

you did good with everything you had to do this week with the dentist and eye.

instead of having none of the treats, have some so you don't feel deprived. good idea the other day to throw out the rest of the brownie. i had my small slice,but didn't eat every bite either. it was good, so i ended up having more than i would have liked, but still, didn't finish it.another good way is to take a treat; and direcrly throw out a portion of it, taking only a piece of it in the sizeyou plan to eat...and have tea/coffee/drink with it to fill your stomach...even gum.

Donkey on 02/20/2022:
I actually have made some efforts to reduce stress at work, which have been successful. Take short breaks, limit things to do after work, to keep evenings free for relaxing. Bring my own food -- this works as long as I stick to it.

Part of the equation may be, though, that I'm just tired of doing the work, sometimes? However, just this past week, I found myself feeling very satisfied in getting a couple of problem files reconciled and back on track. So I guess my love of the "real estate game" isn't dead yet.

You're so right about men & women in the workplace. I've seen it both ways. I've seen my Boss unable to handle women. I've seen Associate Attorney learn how to respond better to women to dissipate a situation.

Donkey - Friday Feb 18, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

I get it.  I get why people who have health issues eat food that is bad for them.  I'm supposed to stay away from refined flours and sugars for parathyroid issues but did that stop me from self-medicating by eating 4 title company cupcakes???  NO. 

I don't know how not to eat foods that are bad, but do not have an immediate negative effect.  For example, Male Co-Worker, who is diabetic 2 - if he has starchy carbs for lunch, say a cup of rice, about an hour later, he will feel absolutely awful. I don't have an immediate negative effect that discourages me from eating garbage like that.  *sigh*  Try to do better again today.

The stressors were a cumulative effect from stress during the day.  Work stress, home stress, physical stress (thank you, TOM) -- made it seem impossible not to dive into the frosted cupcakes.  

  • It doesn't sound like my Boss is in any big hurry to retire soon, even though I thought he was going to get his process organized while he was on vacation in January.  Maybe in 5 years or so.  Frankly, I don't think he'll be alive in another 5 years.  I can't stick around for another 5 years waiting for the stars to align so that he feels he can retire.
  • Computer problems.
  • Insurance issues -- medical and dental -- still unresolved.
  • Daughter's car died so she bought a new one yesterday. 
  • Nasty snow storm around 4pm which made driving home extremely unpleasant.
  • Didn't get enough steps during the day, so I had to walk on the treadmill even though I was kind of tired.  Prompted me to eat those cupcakes to have energy to do that.  Totally self-defeating.
  • TOM started, hormones & emotions all over the place.
  • Stressed out about eye doctor apponitment, which has been moved up to 1:30p today.  Will go back to work when I'm done, even with my eyes dialated.  Should be interesting.

I will miss the New Person coming today, to interview for Mistakes Girl's job today, because of the eye appointment. This is the wife of New Guy's best friend, because we couldn't get any qualified (Spanish speaking) candidates from our online job posting.

And I won't get my lunchtime walk either if I'm at the doctor's office.  Well that's *$&^!!!!  Ugh, just got to get through the day.  Lord, I need this weekend for sure.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/18/2022:
will be catching up soon on your latest entries; i did write you back for yesterday on mine :)...wrote you and jacky back.

bearcountrygg on 02/18/2022:
I get it......stuff is piling up on you too. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.....( if you know you shouldn't eat cupcakes...it makes you want them more)......personally In my opinion ( for whatever that is worth)...in a time like yesterday...if eating 4 cupcakes took a little pressure off then it was okay...as long as you don't do that everyday. of course now you are agonizing over it...BUT...let it go....and I will be thinking of you this afternoon....and hoping that appointment goes well.

horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2022:
i was thinking that after your dr appt,if you wanted to walk a little, you could have done that...or even left work a little early, to walk before doctor! too bad i couldn't give you this advice earlier this week! ah well.

why not stay at your job 5 yrs more, that's 5 years pay...i do hear you about stresses.

i think it's ok to have the refined snacks. your body handles them.

Donkey - Thursday Feb 17, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

I had a really good dentist appointment!  Yay, at least my teeth are healthy!  I do have some problems that are starting because of age, but not much has changed in 2 years, and the problems that are starting (receding gums, food traps) CAN be remedied -- not necessarily easily but they can be.  Of course, I'll do everything in my ability to maintain my dental health, but all is not lost!  The hygenist said that I had really clean teeth even before she started her cleaning.  Yay Donkey!

AND it turns out that I do have dental insurance.  I just can't find the card with all of the information on it.  So that's something I have to work on today, I guess.  Husband was supposed to leave me some numbers and such, but he did not.

I'm not sure what happened here after I went to bed.  Husband and Daughter parked outside - instead of the garage for some reason, even though the weather is bad.  No dental info left for me.  Baby Kitty wasn't put in her room for the night (to monitor her poops).  IDK... In fact I almost though that Daughter didn't come home last night because of the way things were when I came downstairs this morning.  

My extra carbs yesterday was a baked sweet potato.  I was not able to resist the big chocolate brownies the title company brought in, but after a couple of bites, I realized that it just wasn't that tasty.  Threw most of it out.  That held me in the afternoon until a late dinner at home.  (I stayed late and then I went to the library to pick up a DVD & loaned book.  Took longer because my card expired.)  I'm kind of amazed because my late afternoon was rather stressful -- I got 2 files mixed up and caused some dramas with opposing attorneys. I had to hustle to get things straightened out, and I did before the end of the day, so that everyone could sleep better last night. (LOL - I think I'm the only one who loses sleep over their files.)

I had enough energy last night to walk a mile on the treadmill (gotta get in those steps) and then additional bicep and shoulder weights.  This morning, I worked quads and hamstrings, and I'm going to try those barbell hip thrusts that Legcramps does tonight -- presuming I'll have enough energy and time to do so.  

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/17/2022:
Hey, great about the dental insurance! We have limited coverage, think for cleaning and X-rays and a little more, not much. Initially the dentist Matt likes said they couldn’t accept it, but I called the insurance who said they could! Then I called the office. So they took the insurance, but increased the charges, so we’re still paying and their getting more! I quit them but Matt still goes.

Donkey on 02/18/2022:
Yes, I have that issue with my dentist too. If I pay out of pocket, I get a 10% discount on services. If I go through any kind of insurance, then I pay less but they charge more.

But with the number of x-rays they took this time, I'm going through insurance, once I can get through to get my group ID number. Someone threw out my insurance card for dental...

Jacky82020 on 02/17/2022:
Hey, great about the dental insurance! We have limited coverage, think for cleaning and X-rays and a little more, not much. Initially the dentist Matt likes said they couldn’t accept it, but I called the insurance who said they could! Then I called the office. So they took the insurance, but increased the charges, so we’re still paying and their getting more! I quit them but Matt still goes.

bearcountrygg on 02/18/2022:
Wow...Dental insurance is great...and a hygienist saying your teeth are so clean is major!!! Good for you. Good exercise going on there.

Donkey on 02/18/2022:
I was so relieved! But mostly, I'm glad it's over.

horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2022:
wow you got a lot done at your office; also - i always get told to brush better haha...my gums are also receding. but i always have a lot of plaque due to brushing poorly lol so congrats on your great appointment overall!

glad you may have an insurance card...that is good...through your husband?

i think it's good you are on top of your work files...it would stress me out a bit, too, definitely, if they were unorganized! :)

Donkey - Wednesday Feb 16, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

My patience is running thin at work. Why am I still there?  There's that saying, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.  I'm waiting for changes that need to happen but aren't happening.  My sane self tells me that time will tell, and probably soon, like within the next month or so.    Mostly, for me, it will be the appointment with the endocrinologist, but maybe the eye doctor, too.  On March 9th, we will find out if Mistakes Girl will be put on medical bed rest or if she will be with us a little longer.  No moves to hire her replacement.

Yesterday's extra carbs at lunch came from beans, which I mixed in with some steamed spinached and seasoned to taste.  I had a very smal piece of pizza (leftover from V-Day dinner), too.  Held me quite well and I was able to resist any chocolates or other nuts at work.  

Worked on triceps and shoulders this morning. If I have time tonight, I will do some bicep work, but I also need to stop at the library (still) to pick up the DVD I requested before Christmas.  I'm hoping that the other book I ordered will become available to me today too -- 2 birds, 1 stone.  

I must pick up the DVD today because tomorrow, it gets shipped back to its home library and the weather will be bad tomorrow. We'll see if there's enough time to do a little weights, though.

Today is the dentist for me.  I have no dental insurance, but I get a 10% discount off of services.  This is a cleaning and an exam -- oh and probably x-rays.  $$$  I'm just WAITING to get the news that there's something seriously wrong with my teeth that will necessitate tragic intervention, just like the doctor and the eye doctor -- sure why not.  Go for it.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/16/2022:
Well...You sure are getting all of the doctoring done at once.......BUT it will seem nice to have it all done sooner!! Good control of the food!!

Donkey on 02/17/2022:
COVID really messed up the routine.

Maria7 on 02/16/2022:
I recall when I was working that I sometimes asked myself the same question. But you will know when it is time to leave. You will have peace about it. Hope your dental visit goes well today.

Donkey on 02/17/2022:
You're absolutely right, and I can take solace and peace of mind & spirit (especially spirit!) knowing that I will know when it's time to leave.

I know that the time to leave is coming, but I want to be absolutely sure.

horn_of_plenty on 02/19/2022:
the one thing does remain...you are being paid to remain at work....which sometimes beats a job hunt / no job.

btw, my job situation has totally died down and is back to normal with my coworkers. the older lady was out the past thurs/fri and i can say i got along perfectly with everyone there. it's been nice to have a break from both ladies, in fact; as the other younger one is still out having some small surgery and will be back soon. sometimes it's nice having some coworkers out; like your "queen bee."

oh, the beans/spinach is such a GREAT meal! i just remembered, it's an italian way of doing it right? I have a coworker whose wife cooks VERY VERY well. restaurant quality. she made him a sauteed bean/spinach dish....i need to make this for myself! it's a good way also to skip meat for a meal.

Donkey - Tuesday Feb 15, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

So I have an eye appointment on Friday afternoon at 4:15p.  That means that I'll be able to leave work early for the weekend!!!  Husband will come with me because I'll be getting my eyes dilated.

I think the stress is getting to me.  I've just been feeling so tired lately.  Worn down, worn out.  I had a hard time facing Monday morning at work.  In fact, Associate Attorney asked me if I was mad at him.  I apologized and said that this was my normal Monday morning grumpiness and that we were good.  (Actually, now that I think about it, I think TOM is coming very soon, and that could account for a LOT of these feelings, physical and emotional.  OK, that's good because now I know this too shall pass soon.  GREAT!)

I'm so glad that I had yoga last night. I know it's a big pain in the butt to anticipate and plan for it, but I really do need that hour of concentrated relaxation.  The teacher proposed that maybe we might change things up a little bit, with maybe more core work or some flow sequences.  I told her I will think about it -- and I will -- but I also like (need?) the opportunity to relax.

So the Boss brings in a big heart-shaped box of chocolates from Fannie Mae for the staff yesterday, saying that we all have to have some because it's Valentine's Day.  I was able to resist!  I was also able to resist the cocoa covered almonds!  I did GOOD!  I think the secret was that I had more healthy carbs at lunch yesterday - with half of a baked potato.  That seemed to hold me very well.

I'm still not drinking enough water.  Gotta work on that.  

Taking the day off from weight training today, and will do upper body tomorrow (Wed.) and legs on Thursday, with Friday being a fun cardio day.  Perfect!

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/15/2022:
Glad you made the appointment. & made it to yoga. Yay, Donk.

Congrats on resisting the goodies. I would have pocketed a few for later.

Donkey on 02/16/2022:
Thank you - I'm glad I have the appointment too.

I sometimes pocket work goodies to take home for later. Not this time, for some reason.

horn_of_plenty on 02/16/2022:
I hear you on being tired lately. I am also. Sleep is good for you...I hope you will rest a bit this weekend. Maybe you were up late watching superbowl and that has caught you missing some sleep this week!

awesome you did yoga last night, it is so healthy!

healthy carbs do help...carbs help. the baked potato sounds great. potatoes are not too high in cals either, if you look at it...except yams, they aren't great...but better than candy ;)

good luck at eye dr. we want to hear how it goes.

Donkey on 02/16/2022:
We'll see what the scale has to say about the increased carbs at lunch. Overall, though, it seems to be working. Day #2 went well, too.

bearcountrygg on 02/16/2022:
Glad to hear that you made that eye appointment.

Donkey on 02/16/2022:
A relief -- although how it always goes: made the appointment and only had 1 episode of flashing lights. I'm sure they'll stop completely until a few weeks after the appointment.

Donkey - Monday Feb 14, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

Well, happy Monday and happy Valentine's Day!  If I can be honest here, I'm not really feeling either one, but that's OK.  

I'm half-way thinking of canceling yoga tonight.  This will depend on if I get an eye exam appointment today or not.  I just realized that I need someone to take me, because they will dialate my eyes, so it's probably not a good idea to drive myself home afterwards.  Ugh how inconvenient for everyone...

I guess eating was OK yesterday.  Yes, it was OK.  Husband made shepherd's pie for our Super Bowl dinner --- much better than the snacky frozen "finger foods" we usually have.  My Husband ate a LOT, though.  Ugh... well, he said he had this planned and is still committed to losing weight.

Kind of like with the work drama, I have to keep my eyes on my OWN page and focus on me.  His journey is his.  I told him that I was just worried about him, that's all.  Not nagging or criticizing - well, OK, except for the sliced sourdough bread he had with dinner.  That's kind of like "meh" but that's his choice.  I had half my plate filled with cooked spinach.  YUM!

This morning, my bike ride felt a little sluggish, although I was keeping up my regular pace.  Then, I took the weight plates off of my barbell to try some new exercises, just for fun and just for form.  It's good to try new things, but I'm not sure these exercises will work for my hips & lower back.  Especially with TOM coming in about a week, when the hormones start to swell and make hip and spine joints more vulnerable.  I don't use my barbell every time, so I think I'll continue to "have fun" with no taxing weight other than the bar itself.

OK, let's get today started.  Bleah.... But gotta get started anyways.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/14/2022:
Hope you get the eye exam appointment asap. Even when covered by insurance, medical appointments suck big time for the average person. But I know more than one hypochondriac that loves them & has a laundry list of psychosomatic illnesses. Yuk!

Yes, stay focused on you and your needs. And please don’t worry about slacking a wee bit on yoga or anything else. You can catch up later. Maybe do some moves on your own at home?

I read something in a medical journal the other day and meant to tell you. Think it said people with nonalcoholic fatty liver disease should not lose weight too rapidly, but should def lose weight at rate of 2 pounds a week. Can’t remember why. Depending, very heavy people can lose a lot more than 2 pounds a week, but this study was saying go slow.

My own PCP said not to lose more than 2 a week and I’m healthy and not heavy. He said this when I Iost 25 pds at the rate of 1 pd a week. Best I could possibly do! I think a person has to be a lot taller and heavier than me to do the 2 a week.

Donkey on 02/15/2022:
My appointment is Friday at 4:15pm with an optometrist that works for an ophthalmologist practice of 5 (MD's). I'm told that my major medical insurance will cover the visit.

That's very interesting about the NAFLD and weight-loss. I agree that very heavy people can lose a lot of weight fast, initially. Perhaps the idea is to have a sensible, moderate change of habits rather than crash dieting. ???

bearcountrygg on 02/14/2022:
I would start with a opthomologist....especially if you don't have eye coverage. That is who you will end up with anyway I believe.

Donkey on 02/15/2022:
I tried, but I know with COVID and everything, it's really hard to get into an appointment as a new patient.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/14/2022:
that's nice you and hubby watched the game. i'd have only watched if i were with someone! i didn't even watch the commercials or half time, just wanted quiet time by that point last night!

nice job with filling half your plate with spinach. i love volumizing my meals, especially when not rushed and i get to really fill up :) xo hopefully you get the eye appt soon, good luck.

Donkey on 02/15/2022:
IDK lately, I've been really getting into the games. Growing up, I was not a football fan at all.

We were talking about amazing half-time shows in the past, and I did not see Prince (which I believe was the BEST ever half-time show)... I believe I saw Michael Jackson, but I don't remember it, probably because I wasn't very interested in football at that time. Bruno Mars is the last outstanding half-time show I saw, with Lady Gaga as a very very close runner up.

Someone OLD (like me) thought up this year's half-time show.

Donkey - Sunday Feb 13, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

Still very hard to drag myself out of bed this morning.  Maybe I had a food hangover, because after seeing the movie yesterday afternoon (Death on the Nile), we went to get some Chicago pizza, and he bought 2 pieces of cakes to share.  I definitely did have my Indulgence Day of eating.

So I definitely had enough nutritional energy for today's bike ride and gym workout.  But I'm (still) feeling a certain sadness.  Just this weekend, I've started to have certain problems with my eyes.  I've been warned by eye doctors in the past that this might happen.  And now it's happening.  I didn't mention it here because I didn't realize what was happening until the 3rd time it happened.  So now on Monday, I have to find someone to help me with this.  I don't know if I go see an optomitrist first or if I have to see an actual eye DOCTOR (opthamologist).  It seems as though I'm in the early stages of my retina detaching in my left eye.  I'm so glad I caught this early, though.  

I'm very worried and very afraid about these 2 new health issues that I'm facing.  Of course, I don't want to lose my sight - that would be the worst, because I'm often "eyes" for Husband because he can't turn his head.  I'm mostly worried about the financial aspect of all of this, since I don't have vision insurance.

Add on top of this that I'm seeing the dentist on Wednesday, and I don't have dental insurance either, so I'm sure there will be something seriously wrong with my teeth that will be very expensive to fix.  Sure, why not?  Just add that to the pile of worries that I have.

My gym workout was great.  Lots of energy from dinner last night (oh and the popcorn that I had at the movies -- certainly got that craving out of my system for a while).  I did a longer cardio session on the elliptical, for my steps count, because I'll be sitting a lot for the Super Bowl game this evening.  I got there before 8:30am, and that seems to be the sweet spot.  I will try next weekend to get there as close to 8am as possible.  Earlier is definitely better.  Less crowded and more people wearing masks.

I have a nutrition book coming for me, through the library system, this week.  I'm hoping that it will help me rebalance what I need to be doing food-wise to fuel myself better.  

Also, I've been doing some brief research on menopause & diet, and it looks like the intermittent fasting (bleah) and low carb/keto diets seem to be the recommendations.  Ain' no way I can go back to keto again, so I'm hoping that I can make some adjustments for myself to make better choices for myself.  I love apples & bananas and carrots & tomatoes too much to go back to keto.

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/13/2022:
I'm sorry to hear you are also having eye problems......but happy to hear that you are catching it early. I'm not sure why...but it seems like intermittent fasting and keto are supposed to cure just about everything these days......oh...and gluten free.....apparently we have been poisoning ourselves for our entire lives and food boredom will cure that...UGH!!!

Donkey on 02/14/2022:
I'm mostly discouraged because all of this is happening at once. It would be one thing if these problems were here and there, but it's happening all at once, which makes it overwhelming.

Donkey on 02/14/2022:
I just don't think I could go back to keto. Well, I suppose I could do whatever it was that I had to do. So if I had to do it, I would do it. But bleah...

Horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2022:
I am also sorry to hear about the health issues that are impacting you recently. :( I assume it's all part of getting older and when you write these types of things, i make a mental note of realizing how health changes over the years. Like Bear said, it is good you caught it early...

booo to keto ;)

i have never understood how tomatoes are sometimes not thought of as keto! ketchup, i get it...and sauces i get...but tomatoes, i have never understood. the older lady coworker said she hates tomatoes bc they aren't keto, i'm not even sure she's right.

Donkey on 02/14/2022:
Yes, most of what I'm dealing with health-wise I think is part of getting older. These things don't happen to everyone, but when they do, it's usually as you get older. The eye thing is also because I'm extremely near-sighted.

If a person is not strictly keto, they can incorporate a little fresh tomatoes occasionally, but should be measured. IDK, I don't know of anyone who got fat eating fresh tomatoes. Same with grapefruit, carrot sticks.

I predict that with the eye thing and the parathyroid, I will be put on a "to be monitored" status, to wait and see if anything else happens. Welllll, maybe the eye thing might happen sooner, since I seem to be having these flashes daily.

Jacky82020 on 02/13/2022:
You should see an ophthalmologist. Would not count as vision coverage, but as a medical specialist. Optometrists are for writing glass prescriptions & some insurances that don’t have vision plans actually will pay for glasses when prescribed by an ophthalmologist

At least this has been my experience & those of others & hoping yours is similar. Really should be.

Really sucks how most medical insurance is so poor on dental coverage. Ours is very limited.

Donkey on 02/14/2022:
I'm fortunate enough to have a friend (one of the legal clinic volunteers) who works for an ophthalmologist, and she said the same thing. I could go see an optometrist to get dilated, but they would ultimately refer me to the ophthalmologist anyway. So just cut out the middle guy, is what she said, and like you said. At least major medical should cover that - or most of that. Ugh...

Donkey - Saturday Feb 12, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.0

So I woke up feeling like a BIG FAT LOSER.  And not a "loser" in the sense of losing weight.  It was very difficult to face the day this morning.

I realize that my bad-day blues are kind of phasing into a bout of depression.  Recognizing this made me feel a whole lot better! (LOL)  Sounds ironic, but seeing this for what it is, I know now that I can ride it out.  I strongly suspect it's hormones, even though TOM is not near.  It may also be "February in Illinois" seasonal depression.  Add to that the dramas at work, with changes and crazy wives and people not getting along - yep, definitely sounds like something that is just passing through and will be over soon enough.

Another thing that REALLY helped me feel better was all of your comments yesterday --- THANK YOU SO MUCH.  The reality check, the frank talk, the gentle advice and suggestions -- all of it.  Thank you so much.  

I have things today to look forward to:

  • Phone call from son
  • Went to the gym and had a great workout
  • Husband and I are going to a movie this afternoon -- first movie outing since COVID!  Advanced seating shows we will be socially distanced and we will be wearing masks.
  • Time for jigsaw puzzle.

I have things tomorrow to look forward to:

  • Superbowl with Husband - Go Bengels!
  • Time for jigsaw puzzle
  • Going to the gym - leg workout!
  • Phone call with mom (probably not too long but that's OK)

I came to realize this morning, after last night's food fit - 2nd or 3rd one this week, sad to say - that I may not be eating enough healthy food during the day.  The sugar cravings and stress eating may be stemming from meals that are not substantial enough.  So I'm going to make an effort to add more food, healthier foods, in my weekday meals and snacks for this coming up work week.


Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/12/2022:
I totally agree with meals that are lacking healthy nutrition causing sweet and salty binges or cravings.......is it our body trying to force us to supply something specific ( a nutrient).......You made me consider that...Thank you!!! I have days that seem to often be almost all grains/carbs and not the good carbs......I love me some gluten....LOL...UGH!!! You might also consider the possibility of menopause beginning....maybe read up on that some. Funny how before that ( mine was surgical)...I had no idea what the emotions and side effects would be...or how long it actually lasted ....I was shocked when I found out for real......entered the hospital hemorrhaging and left the hospital in menopause......The hot flashes are "SPECIAL" and come in handy in the winter...summer is something else entirely.......The ups and downs of emotions were another pain in the butt.......and there is more.....but will leave it at this...it's enough. When D asked my Dad how long menopause lasted he said 10 years...I laughed...we all did....and then I found out that was the truth!!!! I really had thought it was much quicker...a lot quicker...but NOPE> Your Mom may be able to shed some light on how it was for her.....BUT......You need to know that you are talented and loved and capable of doing anything you want to do......and it's okay to take care of yourself and have fun and enjoy your life.

Donkey on 02/13/2022:
Yes, I think you're right about menopause, going hand in hand with the thyroid issue. I am going to start researching this NOW so that as I move forward, I am more prepared.

I belong to a women weight training group on FB, with some serious lifters (and some who are more like myself and then some in between). Yesterday, there were 2-3 posts about (peri)menopause, diet, thyroid, etc., that made me wonder if this is where I'm at.

It seems that there are 2 types of menopause: with thyroid problems and without thyroid problems. Cr*p.

I have a DVD to pick up at the library, and there are several books on the M subject that I'll look at too. Two of them look especially good. Do you have any recommendations?

bearcountrygg on 02/13/2022:
I don't have any suggestions because when I went through it at 48...to my knowledge there weren't any that I was aware of......the internet was limited then...so what I knew or found out about was basically word of mouth...Back then we basically did everything blind...and learned how ever we could. It's been 24 years ago to me now....and I would say my hot flashes did last about 8 to 10 years.....and got fewer as the years went by......a daughter in law who had also had a hysterectomy and I were going through it at about the same time......BONDING...LOL

Donkey on 02/13/2022:
Ha ha ha ha!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2022:
thank you for writing recently on your work dramas, as i had been without work drama for approx 6 months...and had forgotten it exists and even can phase me yet again...it's been a wakeup call to me,to be me as you and others have said to do; and to try to not get caught in the drama myself (or get out of it as efficiently as possible)...and what i say here can be related to you...although i must say you are doing a good job staying away from most of your work dramas.

Donkey on 02/13/2022:
You make a good observation. Is it always there and I'm removed from it (either by choice or by secret)? Or is it something that flares up from time to time?

I realized on the way home from the gym how grateful I am for this challenge with New Gal. She definitely has me thinking outside of the box on how to do things, since she does them her own way.

There's an appointment on Monday that she made a completely different way. Why does she have to do that?!?!? Just make the appointments the way the rest of us do!!!!

But then I think, why is this a big deal and a "problem"? Shouldn't we all keep an open mind to doing things a new way? I think so.

Donkey on 02/13/2022:
Also, I started to realize that a lot of my office drama has to do with control issues, comfort levels, etc. People get so uptight. We all need to just relax.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2022:
What movie did you go see?

Donkey on 02/13/2022:
Death on the Nile. It's a beautiful film, although a bit long. It's a little slow to start, after the initial scene.

Just beautiful to watch though.

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