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Donkey - Thursday Jun 14, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 40: Today was pretty good exercise-wise. I had 50 minutes on the elliptical. I tried something different. I usually go slow with a high resistance. Today I went faster and a slightly lower resistance. I think it was harder than going slow!

Then I came home and ran for 20 minutes with dd (she rode her bike). I just returned home from coaching girls' softball. We lost, but I'm almost happy about it. I am so disgusted with the male coaches on our team. They go around like they are so great, so when the girls fall flat, I'll be darned if I'll be the one to pick the team up. They're so great, let THEM do it. Well, I apologize to you for my poor "team spirit" but I am *tired* of being the token woman, the potted plant of the coaches. I swear, a mushroom could do what they give me to do.

So all I have to get through is the stupid All-Star game on Saturday morning (thank GOD it's early so we can get it done and over with), and then the last game on Wednesday. Then I can purge myself of this "bad karma".

I hope to have an official weigh-in very soon.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 06/15/2007:
Well, I'd like to know what you call a a great day of exercise if 50 minutes of ET and 20 min running is "pretty good". That's great! I know what you mean about going faster with less resistence on ET. I think that's harder, too. It's good to do both ways, though. Mix it up. Also - I hear you on the male coach situation. I am glad I don't have kids who play sports (my d dances)from all the horror stories I have heard about the coaches on these teams! LOL on the mushroom comment. Hang in there - this too shall pass.....

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/15/2007:
i definitely like going faster rather than slower on the elliptical! There's nothing wrong with that...and it gets your limbs moving faster...more like running. I think it does a body good...that's why I like the elliptical...the ease of going fast! typically, i walk rather than run. so, the elliptical gives me a chance to move my body a bit faster!

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 13, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 39: My unofficial weigh in is 137.5. I'll be contrite and chalk it up to TOM. I don't think that's what's really behind it, but I'm so down today, I need the excuse because otherwise I will feel so horrible about myself and my lack of whatever it is that I need to reach my goal.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

starfish on 06/13/2007:
Maybe it is TOM. I always retain a little extra water around then and the week before (which is NOW for me) I just feel extra hungry and in no mood for exercise! haha! I'm sorry you feel down.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2007:
eh...it MUST be TOM. you have been doing so well....everyday is different...and if you are down today, chances are you'll feel better tomorrow! weight is only a number...maybe you have more muscle?!

Donkey - Tuesday Jun 12, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 38: Today we are going to the pool! Finally got our pool passes. Then we had a nice lunch at Culver's with the kids, as they had coupons for free kids' meals. I opted for a turkey sandwich and did not eat my fries, except for maybe 4 of them. I finished the very last of my son's vanilla custard cone.

I did not wake up early today so I only did an hour on the elliptical. I really want to start running again. I need to figure out a time to do that where it's not so beastly hot outside AND not stuffed from the previous meal. AND that I can do with the kids occupied. I realized this morning that I am *wasting* these beautiful summer mornings where I could running outside or at least at the gym so that I could run afterwards when I got home.

I'm wasting my time! And last night I realized that I'm wasting your time as well, readers and friends. For some reason, I just cannot get myself to stay focused on my goals. I'm sorry, I apologize for that.

UPDATE: I found out on www.calorieking.com that my supposive "healthy" choice of turkey sandwich at Culver's had 480+ calories in it. Heck I could have had a hamburger for that amount of calories! I really should have planned ahead and searched for healthy choices. Even though it's hot outside, I should have gotten soup. But I wanted to order something that my son would eat should he be unsatisfied with his kids' meal portion. Can't make everyone happy, so Donkey loses in the end.

Better choices next time... It really does pay to plan ahead at these things. Damn...

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

MyJuneWedding on 06/12/2007:
~~hugs!~~ you are not wasting time, time with you is always time well spent

starfish on 06/12/2007:
great job eating healthy at Culvers

biscottibody59 on 06/12/2007:
Congrats on the sale of the house! You're doing great with your exercise despite not getting up when you wanted to--try again tomorrow!

Donkey - Monday Jun 11, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 37 continued...

I already wrote an entry for today, but I received such good news that I felt it deserved an entry of its own.

We finally sold our old house! Seriously, I thought it would take over a year to sell, and today the people who came to look at it on Saturday put in an offer, and a good offer at that. I had nightmares that we'd be getting these horribly low offers if we got any offers at all! But we are happy with the offer and hopefully by the end of August, as the kids head back to school, we will be done with that chapter in our lives.

And we don't have to worry about upkeep on the old house any more either. It's not an old house (only 12 yrs old) but we don't live there any more. I was worried about having to winterize the plumbing and the snow removal next winter, etc. No more long road trips either (45 minutes but a PITA to get there).

What a huge relief this is!!!

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

starfish on 06/11/2007:
congratulations on the sale of your house! and great job going to the gym :)

Donkey - Monday Jun 11, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 37: An interesting day to say the least.

Donkey failed to wake up early enough to get in her full workout at the gym, but rather than give up, I decided to just go and see what I could do. I only managed 30 minutes (35 in total) on the elliptical crosstrainer, but I got a lot out of those 30 minutes. I did more in 30 minutes than I usually do half way through a 60 minute workout. I think when I do the longer workouts, I pace myself differently. Since I didn't have so long to go, I could afford to work a little harder in a shorter period of time.

This is actually enlightening, because I will do this to fight boredom or to bust through a plateau.

Then I proceeded to do lower body weight training. Yes, the Cardio Queen actually opted for weight training over more cardio. I thought it was better to keep up with the weight training.

Eating went reasonably well until I had some (ok a lot) of popcorn with butter on it. I did not weigh in this morning. I am toying with the idea of not weighing in any more, for a while. In a way, that could really backfire, but on the other hand, I know what it takes to lose weight. I certainly don't reach my goal by having buttered popcorn or dishes of sherbert after dinner, do I? NO!

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Donkey - Sunday Jun 10, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 36: Failed miserably yesterday. Well, not miserably but had 2 Crunch bars after dinner, and that put me way over on calories. Not good.

I found out that we may not be having this stupid dysfunctional family reunion on Day 50 because my grandfather broke his pelvis. He's very old. I don't know if he'll feel up to it. Right now he's walking around with a walker but he's going to see the orthopedic guy this week, so we shall see.

I am only too eager to quit counting. Although I have not made as much progress as I could have or would have liked, I did manage to get back into the 130s and feel good and comfortable about it.

I'm not sure how productive (active) I will be today. I don't have a plan, and as the saying goes, "If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail." So I'm sure today will not be so great either. And it's not even 10a yet. Great, something to look forward to...

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Soon2BThin on 06/10/2007:
Well, I hope your day turned out better than you thought it would! We all have "those" days, just feeling down and not wanting to do anything. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I'm pulling for you! Have a good week!

starfish on 06/10/2007:
hi, thanks for the comment today :) I hope your grandpa gets better quick. and I think it's great you got back into the 130's. I think you're a little too hard on yourself some times.

MyJuneWedding on 06/11/2007:
My Donkey buddy, what is up??? I love unplanned days, at least 'work' wise.

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandpa, I hope everything goes well for him.

As for you, don't you give up or get glum on us!!! We all have an off day, but don't let that get you down. Sometimes we really need that break and then we get going again and find out that break was what we needed to push to that next goal!!! ~hugs!~

Donkey - Saturday Jun 09, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 35: Probably not a good idea to drink a beer before logging on to Diet Diaries but I was so disgusted with the girls' softball coaches after the game that I felt it best in everyone's interest if I had something that would take the edge off of my mood. Of course, now I'm ready for a nap...

Funny thing is that before the game, I could feel the anxiety starting to build and I really had to try hard not to eat out of anxiety. Of course I did a little bit, but it was a real battle. And then after the game, I wanted to come home and eat for comfort. Hence the beer. I had some broccoli. I never realized that broccoli has that many calories in it. Oof!

Praise God that I have only 2 more days left of this softball insanity (Thursday and then the 20th of June). And then I hope to God that I never ever see any of these men ever again.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

Soon2BThin on 06/09/2007:
Wow, you sound stressed!! I hope the beer helped. Good for you for not eating for comfort. I fall into that habit too. Have a relaxing Sunday!

Donkey - Friday Jun 08, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 34: Donkey did it. She got up early to workout, now that the kids are off of school. It was NOT easy I tell you, to do the elliptical crosstrainer at resistance level 15 (out of 20) at 6am. But I did it. And I did the whole 60 minutes, even though I felt like quitting half way through. And then I did weight training on my lower body (damn legs) even though I had told myself on the elliptical that all I had to do is finish the cardio and then I could go home.

At the gym today was a woman with the most amazing legs. You could see every muscle fiber in them. And they were so nicely thin. She looked like a runner, but she went on a crosstrainer too. I could hardly stop staring at her legs while she was working out. Just watching the muscles flex and the tendons on the sides of her knees. She has that little bone from her shin bone sticking out on the side below the knee too. Really motivating to watch. Not that Donkey will ever EVER have legs like that on her own, no matter how hard she tries.

But I digress. Now we have a very tired Donkey with a long day ahead of her.

NOTE: Today's weight is correct. Donkey weighed in today at 136.0 lb.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

halley on 06/08/2007:
I had a similar experience today with a girl that I run with - well - we start at the same time, but she's superfast, sub 7 minute miles, anyway, she has the best abs I've ever seen in person on a girl. It's hard not to look just to watch them working. Very cool!

MyJuneWedding on 06/08/2007:
Good Morning Donkey (lol I have to admit I bounce between Shrek clips and that new commercial with the chick at the drive through ordering po-donkey-butt and a side of flabby thighs. Please don�t take that badly, that commercial cracks me up!!! Anyway, that being said, I always smile when I start reading your daily log!)

Martial Arts, we are a tae kwon doo/tang soo do martial arts school (Pak�s Martial Arts) based on Korean martial Arts. Our main school is in Jacksonville Florida (that�s were Grandmaster Pak teaches) My school is locally here in South Georgia, but we are only an hour from the main school.

Regarding reading non Buddhism, a lot of the literature I have is written by HH the Dalia Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh. For me they were good starting points. I�ll look some more over the weekend when I get home. There are also a couple magazines out there you may be interested in looking at, one of them is Tricycle (the Buddhists review) Again I�ll look more at length when I get home.:-)

Have a wonderful weekend!!

biscottibody59 on 06/08/2007:
I think Oprah either did Medist or Optifast when she brought the wheelbarrow full of fat (or fake fat) onto the set. I only saw the spoof from Saturday Night Live.

greengirl on 06/08/2007:
Well done on the early morning start!! You said you were going to do it, and you did!!! Keep up the good work, Donkey!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/08/2007:
yay! finally back down to 136! thanks for rooting for me! i tried working out in the morning earlier this year....haha, but it was just too early. plus, i was going to bed too late and my sleeping was being hindered. but, if it works for you, it's a good plan...because you know that you've accomplished your workout and can go ahead and do whatever you want the rest of the day! I might take this approach this summer, actually!

starfish on 06/09/2007:
WTG on exercise! keep up the good work :)

Donkey - Thursday Jun 07, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 33: After today, everything changes. Today was the last day of school, and tomorrow the kids are home all day. So Donkey will be waking up EARLY to workout at the gym as close to 5a as she can manage, to workout before the husband goes to work and the kids wake up. Throughout the summer the kids will have activities in the morning that will prevent me from going then anyway, so it's best for me to get into the early routine now. The sooner the better. *yawn*

We managed to get in the girls' softball game despite terrible storms headed towards IL. I did not pitch, but I still got in a lot of exercise. I hope that once softball season is over to continue getting in a second workout in the evenings 2-3 times a week, as I do now with the softball stuff.

I am starting to think that I am going to need some assistance in getting to my goal weight (or lower; lower is fine too). I just "met" online a woman who is 144lb and is using Medifast to get down to 120. Isn't Medifast what Oprah used to lose all of her weight that one time? I thought you had to be obese to use that program. Yes? No? I emailed the woman to ask her questions about her experience.

I also heard an ad on the radio for some man who lost 35lb using lap band surgery. That would bring me down to around 105 or so. For my height that's not insane. 35lb is lot a lot of weight to lose for something as drastic as surgery to lose weight. (I could be wrong on that, so correct me if I'm wrong.)

I would love to get liposuction but first of all, I don't think the doctor would take out enough fat, and secondly, that would prevent me from doing any cardio for a few weeks and then I'd have to start all over again, building up my endurance. I don't want to do that.

But some of the conversation (see Amanda8419 for reference) that we've had about getting assistance to lose weight (other than portion control and exercise) has started me thinking. I think that this healthy eating and dieting is futile for me. Look at where it has gotten me - same weight or maybe a bit higher than I've been before. That stinks.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

MyJuneWedding on 06/08/2007:
Donkey, it's not the numbers on the scale alone! Your measurements in inches, how your clothes are fitting, your increased cardio endurance and improved overall health, THOSE are the big indicators of improvement!! Don't get flustered, stay true to yourself and your course! Humans are by design seeking balance when it comes to our metabolism and bodies, try shaking things up a bit, change you exercise, increase your weight or decrease you weights and do longer sets. Like not eating the same foods or the same amount of calories, we have to change our activities and intensity to keep our bodies fired up and guessing!!! You are doing so well!! =0)

Donkey - Wednesday Jun 06, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Day 32: No weigh in but I measured my hips and I lost 1/2 lb. I'm still a fat Donkey (or other word for donkey), as I carry all my weight from my knees to my waist.

Last night I pitched for girls' softball (ages 5-7). The pitching itself was fun, but the coaches are such jerks. If we're going to let people who are "out" stay on base because we feel sorry for them, then we totally deserve to lose every game that we do that. So there I am, thinking that the inning is over and lo and behold it's not because we're giving free passes. Then the **dads** from the other team start heckling me. Thanks. We give your girls a free ride and you go and put me down. Thanks. My jerk of a coach (another MAN) said, "it's not worth it." Yeah, I can tell, my feelings aren't worth it. And it's nice to know that you don't think the final score of the game is "worth it" either, even though our girls work their donkeys off. Thanks again. (Men and PMS do not mix well, methinks.)

I met a couple of cute little girls from the other team, though. One was Savannah, who I kept thinking was going to get beaned in the head with the ball, as they kept throwing the ball back to me after the play and she's right next to me. She had some funny things to say, like "Wow that pitch almost hit her face!" (Oops!) and "Is this where I should stand?" (Ask your coach) and my personal favorite "Where do I throw the ball to if I get it?" (You should throw it to first base.) (Eh, what the heck? if we're giving away outs, then I'll give away advice.)

Then another cutie I met was Chloe, who was wearing a Navy sweatshirt given to her by her brother who just returned home from duty somewhere. I kept calling her "Navy". "Hey, Navy! Way to go, Navy! Good play, Navy!" Her brother flies planes on the Navy carrier ships. My brother flies planes out of Air Force bases. So this was kind of a cute dialog, considering that there's nearly a 30 year age difference between the two of us.

So Donkey's feelings weren't totally crushed by the end of the game. But those feelings of resentment and hurt came back to me today during my workout --- which I *HATE* because it ruins a perfectly good workout, to contaminate a good thing with awful feelings like that.

That's why I'm so glad I have Diet Diaries to come to. I keep a journal on Sparkpages too, but I try to keep that one light and fluffy. This here is the real Donkey, manure and all.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 11 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 06/06/2007:
I am hoping that the "f_t donkey" talk is the PMS!!!! I was dying laughing at your post. Too sad in spots NOT to laugh! You hang in there Donkey and keep coming here as your real self - manure and all! We are crazy about you! (That or we are all just crazy - period) LOL!

greengirl on 06/06/2007:
MEN!!! They could not organise the proverbial p*ss up in a brewery!!! Why bother having rules to a game if you can make them up as you go along!! Typical men. Donkey, I hope you never change. Just tell it like it is, girl!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/06/2007:
i just wanted to respond to your comment. lol, sadly, i DO have a little of that mindset: "if i don't fit into X size, I must be a terrible person." you're right, its not about that...its such a hard thing to overcome? or, its so hard to change...to change a body shape, to rethink what a picture of health is... :)

biscottibody59 on 06/06/2007:
Above--didja mean 1/2 inch? That's great!

So does this softball stuff all tie in with the "everyone's a winner--no one's a loser" thing? If so, how frustrating. Crazy at any rate--but you're in there doing it, which is more than alot of parents do!

It would be so much more fun to teach 'em the fundamentals and let them have at it on their own. And work out their own arguments, while still watching just in case something dangerous is going on. If they're all going to get the same prize at the end anyway . . . When do kids just PLAY anymore?

Oh, we used to play scrub (softball, but you rotate, so everyone gets a chance to do it all) and that game where you just catch fly balls (can't think of the name) at recess twice a day sometimes. I'd play it today if I could.

I'm sounding old and crotchety, so I better go:-)

Scruffy on 06/07/2007:
Scruff was here :) He's a guy and true, PMS and Men don't mix well.....LOL

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