Yesterday was OK. The Boss was there right when we opened up, and that rather upset me. If he arrived home at night, sleep in and regroup. However, he left before noon, so that he and the daughter could have their intervention with the Wife. He didn't come back. We'll see how that went --- but actually, now I'm thinking that maybe it would be best if I didn't know how it went. I'm not sure I want to carry all of that around with me. It's not my burden. Why would I want to hear someone else's bad news? I guess we're all presuming it didn't go well. It's a difficult conversation to have with a loved one, even under better circumstances, much less when you're dealing with someone who is cruel and abusive.
I'm so glad that today is Friday. I realized this morning that I REALLY need a day off, so the weekend will be most welcome.
I had a nice chat with Male Co-Worker about his whole YouTube adventure and now that I understand why he's doing it and what he wants to do, I'm all for it. I am feeling some pressure from him to subscribe to his channel, but it's not really a big deal for me, since I don't spend that much time on YT anyway. It's not really my thing.
But all this chatter about co-workers with these really creative ideas (that have money making potential) got me to feeling kind of down on myself. I think a creative outlet is definitely missing from my life. Having something creative to focus on could be very helpful to relaxing, mental well-being, etc. IDK, maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Right now, I'm trying to work on my emotional well-being and growth (trying to become that "half-glass-full" person) , and that's no small undertaking!
Well, it seemed to snow or ice overnight, so I'd better get out there and try to shovel some of it, before getting ready for the day. It's Friday - YAY!!!
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
Loss for words.... So let me just dump it all out here.
The Boss is coming back to work today, but will not be working, because he just needs somewhere to go - away from his wife - to think about anything but his wife. Supposively, he and the daughter are having a mini-intervention today. This impending event, PLUS one of my essential computer applications (at work) not working hurled me into a food fit --- well, OK, TWO food fits, one at work and one at home.
The one at work, because of the application not working and not being able to do anything about it because I was stuck in the middle of a very boring webinar. I felt frustrated and helplesss. These emotions resulted in eating probably the equivalent of a full sized milk chocolate bar -- and I don't even like milk chocolate all that much. Turns out the application's cloud was experiencing issues, and the application was restored shortly after the webinar concluded.
Then at home, after dinner, I was so upset about the Boss and his stupid selfish Wife, that I went into the freezer and brought out that frozen sour cream cake from Christmas. It's a single layer Bundt-shaped 8 inch cake. I ate slice after slice until about half of it was gone.
Bear shared a meme yesterday that I want to repeat here:
OLD KEYS WON'T OPEN NEW DOORS.
This morning, I realized that I could have leaned on my Husband for support to divert my attention until after the anxiety passed. I could have left the house for a walk --- this may have been an easier option if it weren't so dang cold and dark outside. Taken a shower....
Ugh, I'm so discouraged with myself. I keep stumbling on the diet part of the equation. I'm almost wondering if I could use a nutritional coach or maybe some very short-term therapy to deal with this. The thing that just gets me is that I **KNOW** what to do, but I just can't do it.
On the bright side, I suppose, I had a lot of energy this morning for a bike ride and weights. Worked out my arms today, and did barbell squats. So there's no great loss without some small gain. Just hope that scale doesn't show that gain on Saturday. UGH!
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
I've been thinking about the full-eating day suggestion, and I think that's definitely something that I think might actually work for me, for my goals. Thank you!
I literally thought you meant old keys won’t open new doors because we had so many door/key problems in the big Victorian house.
Sorry it sucks at work. You’ll get past it & land on your feet. You always do. right?
She's a hoarder, a smoker, a compulsive online shopper... Which even that wouldn't be so bad but the abuse stuff - that's a no can do.
This site is working slow for me this morning, and it takes very long for my comments to others to upload. This morning, after my bike ride, I had a thought of what I would do with my time if DD was no longer available. I made a list of things (chores) that I could do (today, or any day, really), but none of them are as nice as logging in here to see how everyone is doing and to empty my own head before starting the day.
I did not sleep well. I fell asleep OK, but awoke at around 1:30am (maybe later) when Husband came to bed. I was too hot, and Old Kitty had fallen asleep with me, so I was not able to toss and turn. Then my hips started aching to be stretched. Ugh, it was not good. The "hot" feeling was due to several factors, including having eaten too much earlier, I'm afraid. Not a food fit, but still. Having the protein shake after yoga was probably not a good idea, as I think my body was working to metabolize that. Also, I had a teaspoon of peanut butter and some cocoa covered almonds.
I had also eaten too many of the cocoa almonds at work, in addition to a piece of chocolate. Not sure what was causing the stress yesterday, but I was definitely craving a sugar fix.
I reminded myself last night, though, as I was getting ready for bed, that I won't reach my goals unless I get a handle on the eating. Can't out-exercise a bad diet.
That whole YouTube / Male Co-Worker thing really had me bothered all morning yesterday, and I don't know WHY it bothered me so. However, I was able to dissolve those feelings by rationalizing that perhaps he's doing this for his grandkids to watch and enjoy. Nothing wrong with that.
When I discussed this with Nice Lady though, since she saw his post on Facebook, about his new YouTube page, SHE pointed out that with all of these "adventures" he has planned this year, he certainly won't be here at work, working. Great.
I had to ask New Gal something for work, to which she replied that she would work on it. I realized at that moment that maybe my tone of voice may have seemed harsh - I didn't think so, but with her who knows - so I did my best to let her know that I was asking for her help, not criticizing. I tried hard afterwards, to be appreciative of her help. (She had made a mistake, and that's why I couldn't find what I needed.) Also, she took an angry attorney call in the afternoon, to which I said I wouldn't take. But then I caught myself immediately, realizing that I would be putting her into an unpleasant situation with the call, if I refused it. So I immediately changed my mind and told her I would take the call, because I didn't want her to have to deal with an angry lawyer. I couldn't help the man, but it actually turned out OK in the end. I'm glad I spared her that, because that is something I that I would have appreciated, if that happened to me.
She tries too hard to be too helpful, but that doesn't mean that it's OK to put her into difficult situations on purpose.
We're getting a slight weather warm-up today and tomorrow, so I am already looking forward to my lunchtime walk.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
Plus, I wouldn't want anyone to post negative remarks, or mention, Hey there's a person you work with who thinks your video is bad. That would really hurt my feelings, and probably his too.
sorry you are struggling a little with the food at work. one of the things that helps me lots is to drink. i think i drink the most / almost the most of the 11 or so people in the large trailer. if i could, i'd drink even more; but it looks bad lol to keep getting up and taking water / going to bathroom...but this is what helps me not eat..
that was really kind of you to take the call. she will have to experience some of that at some point, but, nice of you to spare her this time!
Today, I mentioned to New Gal that if she had trouble with a certain task, to let me know, and I would help. I actually said to her, "We will get this done together" - like a team - and I think she appreciated that, actually... Although she did not ask me to help her, but rather went to Mistakes Girl, who told her no. (lol)
(Added replies to comments on my Monday & today's earlier diaries - editing this on Wednesday to make sure this is at the top of my diary entries)
I am logging an entry tonight, rather than tomorrow morning, because I have a webinar tomorrow that I must be prompt (early) for, in order to get the continuing education credit for it. So I will need to get to work early, and thus not have as much time to write tomorrow morning.
I did much better with food today. One of the things I did was to drink more water, which Horn had also made a comment about. This really helped today. I have not been reaching my water goals, and that's usually where the trouble starts. Also, I packed more fruit and my own plain but delicious almonds for my snacks & desserts. I'm finding that a couple of dates is quite satisfying as a sweet treat, and has more nutritional value than chocolate.
I took a walk outside after dinner, in order to meet my steps goal AND to add more mileage to my Garmin challenges. This time, I took the neighborhood loop PLUS the cul de sac, and that ended up being 1.28 miles. So taking the cul-de-sac extension helps, if I have time and/or energy to do so. The breeze felt almost warm, and reminded me very much of an early spring. So the walk was actually kind of pleasant.
Work was just unreal though. I guess the Boss is returning on Thursday but it was made VERY clear to everyone that "he's coming in, but doesn't want to do any work." Husband says that must mean they had a big fight. The Boss could not convince his wife to stretch out the vacation another week, and in fact, it's my understanding that she is pushing really hard to get home tomorrow (Wednesday). That's a lot of driving! But she won't hear anything else.
The Boss's wife is a hoarder. Their only daughter, the physical therapist that works on the first floor of our building, was supposed to be working on clearing out their home to get rid of some of the excess while they were gone. I don't think that happened - I don't think she ever found the time to get started on that project. However, if it did, the Wife will be really mad and make everyone miserable for a few days. How sad for my Boss. Her behaviors, this childish behavior and the hoarding stuff is starting to - or has been, for a while - affect the quality of his life and compromising his health (mental & physical). It's been said that the Daughter put her foot down, but we'll see if it actually sticks or if they all go back to appeasing the Wife and return to their dysfunctional lifestyle.
For myself, though, I don't want the Boss back if he's not going to work. I know I shouldn't complain;.it's not my place to do so. I mean, if I'm paid to sit there and listen to him or whatever, then that's what I get paid to do. On the other hand, that's not what I want my job to be. The office is not a sanctuary. We're not there to entertain him or keep him company because he doesn't want to go home and actually do something about his reality.
So this is stressful. I must remember not to eat my stress tomorrow, in anticipation of the Boss' return.
Oh yes, this and the New Guy has decided that it's OK if his fiance doesn't pass the Bar exam (she failed the first time), because he can earn enough for the 2 of them - even though she spent 3 years in law school. Besides, she wants to open a boutique, and maybe the Boss can help them with that. WHAT???? NO!!!! You pass the Bar and THEN you decide what you want to do next. This is JUST INSANE, folks.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
Yes, I will do that in the near future, for the page. Thank you so much for your suggestions and insights.
And I DO get that it's easier to make ultimatums but much harder to follow through. It's just so frustrating to witness this. Feels like enabling to me.
You know though, it's kind of like the YouTube thing. These things aren't really a part of MY life. And rather than spending time & energy fretting over these outside dramas, I could be channeling that energy into my own life, my family, etc. Things that ARE really part of MY life.
Perhaps my life is boring or empty that I crave getting involved in these other people's problems. I should think about this. Hmmm....
Sadly, last night, I did NOT do this. I will write more about this today (Thursday).
A lot of mixed feelings this morning... I'm already feeling the anxiety creep up from my lungs to my throat/neck. I do not want to go to work, even though there's nothing specific that I'm dreading, that I can think of.
I was billed $275 for the doctor's visit in December. I'm not sure if it was the vaccines or the blood tests. Unreal. So now I have to find out what I did wrong, so that I don't do it again. Goodness, if it was the blood work, can you imagine what the thyroid panel will cost me????
And I just looked out the window, and it's snowing again. It's light, but geez, just demoralizing.
At least I'm happy to report that Baby Kitty seems to be doing better, or at least OK. She's pooping much better, so that will keep her away from the vet.
And because I woke up early, but it's not a weight-training day, I took an extra long bike ride for myself. So that's good.
Last night we got take-out sandwiches, which I ate 1/4 of, so I have lunch for work for the next 3 days. SO RELIEVED not to have to think about work food other than vegetables, fruits, and protein for snacks.
I brought home some of the cocoa covered almonds from work to eat over the weekend, rather than keeping them at my desk. I had small batches (around 10-15) here and there, and I came to realize that they just don't taste that great. I mean, they are yummy, but they've kind of lost their appeal, if that makes sense. I hope that helps me resist them at work.
Husband is actually talking about set-backs and relapses in his MOVE weight loss support group (the same program, different group that Inner Peace is working). He gave me his workbook to read, to see what they recommend. I didn't have a chance to read it - didn't make it a priority, but I will do that.
OK, last words here: Male Co-Worker has started a YouTube channel of "adventures" that he and his wife have, about town. Episode 1 is about shopping for nuts and nut butters. OMG, it's so painful to watch.... I'm not even sure what to say. Believe me, I'm not at a loss for words - oh, I have several of those. Perhaps it's not meant to be pretentous (Look at us, our lives are so interesting) but rather a satirical commentary on a mundane life during pandemic times.
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
You got that right, Legs! LOL
The hot chocolate though might help me through some rough spots. Yes, I will look into that. Thank you!!!
we were both biking this AM. i thought of you; thinking, "i am donkey!"
sorry you don't like the cocoa covered as much as the chocolate covered! personally, i do like them. but, like you say, it's easier to limit them bc they are a little less sweet than actual chocolate.
a male coworker i work with, i had introduced them to him LAST week; he was amazed that for the cocoa covered, it is same calories as regular almonds - because cocoa has hardly any calories!!!! haha, he was AMAZED. plus, there is some health to cocoa.
on that note, this is why i do indugle practically daily in small treats here and there. i want the real thing too.
hopefully there's red velvet cake slices still at work tomorrow, that will be my breakfast; with pb...gotta balance it a little bit or i'll get shakey again.
back to you, there's always room for smaller indulgences. xo
Husband is working with the doctor's office to see why the lab work wasn't covered by the insurance. Perhaps it was an error on their end that could be corrected and re-billed.
My MAIN concern is that IF it ISN'T covered, please tell me what I did wrong, so that I can do it right the next time. I have enough in my savings to cover this bill. I admit that if the thyroid panel wasn't covered by insurance, that I am a little worried about that.
I did better today with smaller indulgences. I would agree with that. It's when I'm vulnerable that the smaller indulgences become bigger -- then it's a problem. Practice, practice that moderation!
Went to the gym early and had a great workout! Not too busy at all, and by the time I left at 10am, a bunch of people were coming in. Perfect timing! I could go even earlier, but I like to ride my bike while having a cup of coffee & reading social media (news, FB, Twitter, etc.). I should challenge myself once or twice (on a Saturday and a Sunday) to see what going much earlier is really like. after all, I'm open to change and trying new things, new routines, right? (Um...)
Some poor lady at the gym knocked over her water bottle but didn't notice it right away. So I grabbed some paper towels but that wasn't enough. I got my own towel and soaked up the rest. She kept say, "Oh you don't need to do that", but why not help her out, especially since I think she was kind of embarrassed. Something about cleaning at the gym is fun --- at home, not so much, LOL.
I got a lot of the puzzle done yesterday, BUT I was standing for too long, and aggravated my right foot (plantar fasciitis). I hope to work on the puzzle a little bit more today, but either not for as long, or break it up into 2 sessions. Husband felt bad and said, "I need to do more to help with the puzzle" but I actually am perfectly OK with working on this alone, while he does his own things. It's very mentally relaxing for me, which I really seem to need lately.
Daughter is home today, so I'm glad I'll get to see a little bit of her.
The Boss is supposed to come back this week, but we think he's managed to stretch it out for another week. As I said to Male Co-Worker, I have mixed feelings about him (the Boss) coming back, and MCW agreed. But I'm not going to think about work right now, because it's Sunday, and it's my day off :-)
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
I haven't mentioned this to anyone else, but I actually thought about picking up a 4-hour shift at the gym as a cleaning/laundry assistant. I could get my gym membership for free. So what's stopping me? I think I would start to feel resentful of others for being so sloppy and messy, and not enjoy being at the gym.
So I haven't pursued that yet, but if it becomes that a gym membership isn't affordable in our budget, I might actually pursue this.
let us know indeed if your boss comes back tomorrow!
have a good evening.
it's really good to hear you had a nice workout; i'm planning on a good workout today; too.
Technically, there was a 1 pound loss, but I see this as maintenance, as I seem to be hovering at this number, give or take a pound. I'm surprised, actually, because I did have quite a few cocoa covered almonds from work, PLUS a frozen banana around 8:30pm -- partly from exhaustion, partly as a reward for such a stressful day. Baby Kitty came home last night, and there was a LOT of clean up to do - TWICE.
Must remember that until winter is over, everything is maintenance.
I need to get to the gym before the rush. I will update this entry later today.
I'm glad I went to the gym when I did, even though I kinda didn't want to go. I even considered skipping today, but now that it's done, I'm glad I went. It REALLY behooves me to go early (earlier). By the time I left at 10am, it was getting WAY too crowded for me.
I am starting to increase my weights again on a machine for the back (called a "mid-row", where you are stationary, but you are pulling weights by using a rowing motion). So progress is being made!
Inner Peace & Bear: On my way home from the gym, I saw a little lady pushing this huge snowblower (kind of like what we have here at my home). Some day, that will be me. I will heed Bear's advice about keeping fingers away from any place but the handlebars.
We are having some major computer problems here, with our network. I'm on the WiFi here with my laptop. Can't stream on some of the TV's. I hope he can finish up the repairs but in case he can't, I plan to spend the rest of my day relaxing with laundry, working on the jigsaw puzzle (YES!!!!!), riding my stationary bike (had to cut my morning ride short), cat care, etc.
Baby Kitty is home, and for the next night or 2, she will need to stay in our powder room bathroom, until I can be sure that the laxative meds aren't causing her diarrhea. She's a lot thinner and lighter today. Noticeably!!! Well, she's in the right family, because we're definitely a family with butt problems and litter box issues (depending on if you are human or feline, here).
Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 2.5 lbs to go!
It's that wet, heavy snow that I can not do alone. Husband cannot/should not help. Daughter is a lost cause on this front. I know that eventually, I will learn how to use the snowblower. The hardest part is getting the thing started.
I'm glad I was able to "help" :-)
re below, yes, take things on a perspective of keeping the environment happy/calm and not to stir things up.
lol obviously that guy that screamed at you in the email below is quite full of baloney.
I find that outdoor walking is more challenging physically and also helps me clear my head mentally for that "positive environment" at work. (see my previous comment above)
do you think the storm is causing the internet/tv issue? i hope it gets fixed. that's the worst on the weekend.
As if I did not have enough on my plate, I signed up for 2 more Garmin challenges, LOL. One is walking 30 miles this month - easy except that now I will have to walk outside on weekends (treadmill miles don't count because no GPS to register the miles). The other challenge is a February step challenge. I guess the 300,000 steps challenge is January - March, and it is part one of a year-long challenge that has several stages to it.
The walking miles challenge made me take an outdoor walk last night, around my neighborhood. I was right: the neighborhood loop is about a mile, and there is an extra cul-de-sac that I can take that would push it to a little over a mile.
Work was very stressful yesterday. In the morning, the anxiety just about shot me through the roof, thanks to poor training of New Gal. She is closing out files and throwing out way too much that is in the file. I finally asked Mistakes Girl - who trained New Gal - Um, did you train her to do this, because this isn't right. She said that back when she was on bedrest, she was all set to train New Gal, but when she came back, New Gal told her, "Queen Bee taught me. You don't need to teach me anything. I know how to do it." Well, no you don't.
Mistakes Girl was like, I can talk to New Gal and try to retrain her, and I told her not to bother with it. I don't think it would go well, since you can't tell New Gal anything, and I wouldn't want to put Mistakes Girl in that position.
In a way, New Gal is taking us towards a paperless firm, and that's honestly the way of the future. She has good ideas, but that's not the way we do things!!! Oh well, Mistakes Girl will be gone in a month or 2, and I don't think I will last the year here either. So who cares... Better to leave things happy than to cause negative drama, if we're all leaving soon anyways.
Then, on top of that, around 4:30pm, I get screamed at - via email - by a lender because he can't get the loan ready on time. He said I was rude and offensive and that I had offended more people "then" I know. So I called our agent, because that's who I really care about and said, "Have I offended you?" She laughed and said no. So we kind of regrouped - she and I - and once the lender finally IS ready, we'll schedule the closing. I just don't know if he'll be talking to me, since I've offended him so much, to let me know that the loan is ready.
Great way to end the work day.
Come home. Had a short spat with Husband because he leaves his workbench stool pulled out too far and I accidently tapped it with the car. I've asked him many times before, put the stool back. Doesn't do it. So now I hit it. He said it was my fault.
Baby Kitty is not well, and we're running out of options to treat her. She will have to go back to the vet for more enemas. Gosh, we're a family of butt problems over here. Anyway, that aside, I found myself feeling very sad last night. Sad for Kitty, sad that perhaps the end for her is nearer than I had thought. Sad for me because I'm rude and offensive. Sad for work because nothing is being done properly any more, and nobody cares.
Anyway, these emotions started welling up and I found myself thinking about treating myself to something sweet at home. You know how that goes: one piece of chocolate leads to another, leads to eating something else, and then another, and another.... So I stopped that right away. Didn't even go there, although I was very, very close to doing so. So I did well for myself, at least.
I'm quite relieved that it's Friday. I need a break from work for sure.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!
But then I started thinking that what's wrong with doing things differently that are more progressive (such as going more paperless)? Are we that inflexible? More importantly, am **I** that inflexible and "old" in my thinking that I can't be open to new ways of doing things? So do not think that your work was for nothing.
Baby Kitty -- well, she is home at least, and we are about $700 poorer. Obviously we cannot keep doing this every 1-2 months, so hopefully the laxative and high fiber food will keep her regular, without causing diarrhea all over the place.
I'm fine with a more expensive food and regular laxative, BUT two things:
We cannot keep having enemas every 1-2 months.
We cannot have diarrhea spatters and droplets all over the house.
What is it that Happy says? Inch by inch? That's kind of how I feel like this week has gone. Checking off really hard "to do" things off of my list.
The PT evaluation was longer than I had thought/hoped, and it was hard on Husband. I probably should have just dropped him off, but I stayed the whole 3.5 hours. I'm proud to say though that I only missed 2 hours of steps according to my FitBit. So on top of everything that he has to deal with, health-wise, the PT told him that his spine is starting to curve to the right. Great.
I sat in the small lobby and I noticed that the receptionist/medical secretary pretty much sits all day. Whoa, I thought that *I* had a sedintary, sitting job. Oh my goodness, my job is active in comparison to hers. See, this is what I'm talking about. Don't complain about what you have because it could be much worse. My current job isn't perfect, but it's probably better than many other jobs.
Speaking of jobs, I did a good thing yesterday at work, by leading Associate Attorney to a top-producing and well-respected realtor. I did this by bringing something to his attention, saying to him, This is an opportunity, and I think you should take it, if you want it. He acted on my recommendation immediately! In fact, so immediately that it surprised me. He thanked me afterwards and called me Wonder Woman. LOL... IDK, with all the changes that are happening, and perhaps past behaviors or negative opinions that I've had or voiced ---- I can't change the past, but I'm trying to do kinder things moving forward, to try to make it right.
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!
I'll write a little more about "vibes" at work - I don't like to dwell on it too much - but yes, you get it. I'm trying to generate some good vibes at work! We definitely need more of that, for sure.
like you here, my week has been really rocky too. lots of frustration with work people and just having a really hard time with communicating with them / them communicating effectively to me as well. not pleased. i'm only talking about the females. ugh! just UGH! i did try with the older one, but yesterday i think she forgot what was in her drawer; documents in needed; and instead of just scanning them; as i didn't know she had them bc she didn't tell me; i had to open all the emails she forwarded to me; around 45; which she fowarded from this guy who didn't name the emails or the files...so it took so long; 2 HOURS; because i had to keep opening the emails, saving the files named right; deleting emails (and every email looked exactly the same)...horrible. wrote the guy back and copied her explaining the emails need to be with subject date and what he's emailing about....and then she tells me she had those 45 pages in her desk drawer....she should have mentioned that to me yesterday. and she's annoyed at me for saying i had extra work saving them!? she should realize she didn't tell me yesterday!? ugh. and then the younger woman; i do not trust her much anymore.
glad to hear you made your endo appt. glad your snow was powdery; that's what we had last time. now we're getting an ice storm tomorrow into Saturday. yuck!
at my job too; i do sit a TON; but, i can get up to use the bathroom often; drink a lot; so get up to fill water in cup...and i do...i also try to get up here and there, unlike if i had a job, say, as a cashier, where you must stay in the same place for a more determined period of time.
sounds like a good interraction between you and associate attorney.
i am still getting along quite well with the men, except for the angry one; but the women i am sick of. like, totally 100% had enough of both of their personalities. and the older one especially; bc she is just so "butch" when she thinks someone is hurting her; she doesn't speak gently to me; she always thinks i'm trying to bring her down which isn't the case. she comes across harsh and i hate talking to her because she doesn't really know she's doing it and it is the most annoying thing to have to calm myself and not react to her harsh voice / thoughts that i am trying to bring her down. it is so annoying. as for 24yo, i do not trust her much anymore; so just because of that; i am annoyed by her and the little things i see about her that rub me the wrong way everyday.
I can relate to the extra work. Oh my, yesterday New Gal inadvertently caused me so much anxiety. I was seriously having a very hard time coping with it. Unfortunately, no one can correct her without being accused of yelling or being mean, so there's nothing I can do.
I am hoping maybe more PT would be prescribed. We'll see.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XK2699C/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Also, we're going to try a prescribed high fiber food for her. I think she's going to have to go back in today, for another flush, though, since she didn't have a BM last night, as the doctor had hoped.
The snow did not miss us after all. I've already been out to shovel and it's still snowing. I'm quite lucky that it's the light fluffy stuff, so *I* am able to shovel it. Otherwise, I would need help. A lot of help. My neighbor who shoveled at 5:30am is out there again shoveling (2 hours later). I won't have time to shovel again. Oh how I dread the drive to work. My car (Prius) does not handle well in snow AT ALL.
Husband will pick me up at work at 10:30am to drive together to his functional capacity test at the physical therapist office. I will bring a protein shake and a book, just in case the appointment ends up being 3-4 hours long.
Eating yesterday went OK. I had a few chocolate covered peanuts - maybe 10? And a packet of roasted pecans, which were also seasoned and sugared. However, dinner was on the lighter side. I feel that it all evened out.
Today was supposed to be leg day, but instead, I used that time to shovel. I think tomorrow will be leg day.
Oh, I meant to mention that I did go out to the freezer to see if I had any frozen banana slices and I DO -- but I also discovered the sour cream Bundt cake that Husband bought around Christmas (for some unknown reason). I knew we weren't going to eat it, so I froze it right away. And now it's there. Sitting there. Innocently....
Also, I want to clarify that the 300,000 step goal is for this month. If I get 10,000 steps in 30 days, I should be able to reach the goal. The problem is that February has 28 days, so I'll have to hustle a little bit more, but I usually get over 10,000 Garmin steps (not FitBit steps, not fake "biking" steps) a day anyway. Yes, I have to push myself to do so, but if I make that mark, then I should be able to reach this goal.
OK, better get ready for work, to give myself extra driving time...
Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!
Seems like you have a lot more self control than I do on the nuts. I’d polish them off in a few days. Saw some milk and dark chocolate ones in the aldi ad. Want to get more granola bars and see if they have whole coffee beans. Guy in a fish forum who lives in Germany where Aldi’s was established told me they have fresh beans, cheap. I’m fussy about grinding fresh beans every morning & doubt their beans are as good as mine, but certainly willing to try.
I wouldn’t want to be gone 12 hours a day either. Exhausting!
I am still struggling with managing food, BUT I do realize and acknowledge that I've improved somewhat in limiting food fits.
I think where the difficulty is, is in balancing the activity level with the food intake. That and stress management.
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My days have been so confused all week.....and Friday sure came around fast for me......yup.....search out a new interest and have fun with it....don't force it...just enjoy it or move on to something else...maybe try a few things.....maybe it will be fun just looking for something of interest.
We laugh at each other when we get our days off. The worst is when the alarm goes off and I think it's Saturday -- GROAN. The 2nd worst is thinking it's Friday, when it's some other dastardly weekday (like Tuesday, LOL).
Thank you for your gentle guidance and helpful suggestions on pursuing a creative outlet. Yes, this is a good approach to finding a creative outlet. I will start thinking of things to try... maybe NEW things to try, actually.
Jacky82020 on 02/11/2022:
Most creative money schemes fail. Too much competition! Too many people with huge followings & name recognition.
Sounds like the Boss’s wife needs therapy if she wants to keep her family together. But that’s on them. Don’t let it get you down, Donk! Focus on yourself & your fam.
THANK YOU for the reality check!
The Boss reminded (us) yesterday that after her stroke, the doctor had showed Boss a scan of his wife's brain, and there are black spots all over her brain where there is no longer activity/function.
So yes, she needs therapy, but I don't think the capacity is there. And I would bet money that those black spots have grown over the years, because she has noticeably declined just within the past 2 years or so, since her stroke a little over 10 years ago.
Just a very sad situation.
legcramps on 02/11/2022:
I agree with Jacky, we humans spend way too much time worrying about how other people are spending their lives. What do we have control over? Not their life, that's for sure!
Definitely 100%! And I think I'd be more happy with myself if I stopped looking at others, being influenced by others' dramas, and found my own passions or pleasures (e.g. jigsaw puzzles), with no self-judgment or self-criticisms on some of my nerdy things I like to do. Or things that I like to do aren't "good enough". And so on. Oh I excel at putting myself down. Maybe I could try excelling at lifting myself up, instead.
Maria7 on 02/11/2022:
I agree with Legcramps...We have no control over other people's lives. So, we may as well just tell ourselves that we are going to work on being happy and try not to worry about what we have no control over...like in the serenity prayer...
That's exactly what I need to do, work on being happy with myself, in myself, and let go (LET GO) of those things that I have no control over or don't really affect me.
I'm going to try short daily meditations over the Serenity Prayer this upcoming week, perhaps today, even. Sit with the prayer and absorb it. I think that's a good start :-)
Horn_of_plenty on 02/11/2022:
I am so sorry that you were struggling yesterday, especially with food too bc of emotions and stress. I can understand and have not only been there in the past; but now am struggling not with food but with emotions also because of STILL continuing issues with older lady at work. so i can relate.[I call her OLDER bc she is older than me lol since i know she's a little bit younger than you...but that's besides the point!]
i know that you KNOW what to do, too....but the difference is, you wrote that you "just can't do it." but this is NOT true. you can do it. you must not stop trying. and yes,perhaps talking it out with hubby can help with these work stresses. having a person at home as your soundboard is helpful. also,,there is phone therapists if you think that could be something. i am NOT saying i think you need a therapist. just, if you want an impartial party to give advice that it could be an option. of course you have me here, too. so please, it is definitely ok to vent here and hopefully we can help you.
funny thing is, i can't believe i again have a bully at work. - 44yo older lady. she evidently thinks she has done NOTHING wrong and that I AM IN THE WRONG 100%. with everything.it is now a problem.
oh, so my point with the last paragraph is that some things just repeat themselves in life...it seems come challenges remain challenges. they are always hard; and we must try to rise above....now i should take this advice!
so, do not forget your past and how much you've improved with the emotions/food aspect of things. you can do it. maybe not completely yet all the time,but you can continue to get better and better.
I absolutely needed to hear everything you wrote here. I must continue to reaffirm with myself that I CAN DO IT. I am foremost, my own coach and as Coach I need to be encouraging and uplifting. Not a drill sergeant, not a task-master, no. But kind and encouraging to myself.
Horn_of_plenty on 02/11/2022:
i've also had pressure from an acquaintance that i sometimes go out with to watch her youtube channel. thing is, i have trouble as is catching up with my better friends. i have yet to watch more than one of her episodes. but may do so just to appease her soon. just ONE more. she's been doing this most of the pandemic if not earlier. and like i said,i have watched ONE.
i think most you tube channels are not mone-making. don't let it affect you that way,i understand exactly where you are coming from. i also know people that seem to be involved with these sorts of things. there are things you are good at too. and you have passions in things they do not. you are a cat lover,spending a lot of time caring for yours. i know it is hard; but we cannot compare ourselves to others.
relating to you, i have never been a money-making adventuresome type. i'd rather volunteer for free or for some food! ;) i'd rather help people than line my own wallet; assuming i live alright i am not a greedy person and neither are you.
Since I don't spend much time on YouTube, I realized that it's no skin off my back to subscribe to his channel. If nothing else, it's good PR at the office.
I want to thank you for sharing your perspective. I know a lot of people are very focused on money-making, but I don't think that's ever been me. I mean, I wish I were paid what I am worth, but I seem to be satisfied with less.
On the other hand, I feel guilty for not being more focused on making money like other people are or seem to be.