This was a very odd-feeling day. When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted. I felt as though I was in the middle of the deepest sleep and then awakened abruptly.
This feeling of fatigue lasted through most of the morning. I even entertained the idea of going home early... but whenever I think this, I convince myself to hang in there, because it's much harder to catch up.
Last night - very much so - and tonight, somewhat, I had urges to eat desserts. LOTS of dessert. Last night I satisfied this with a number of dark chocolate chips and a cup of decaf. (I did not count how many but I would say 70 to 100 calories worth). Tonight I did the same but had about 10 chips, which is 70 calories.
Then I was ok. Donkey was ok. Donkey will be ok. I just have to get through this week and this weigh-in.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
I dreamed about the file with the client I hung up on Monday. I woke up worrying about the file. It's supposed to be my file but one of my coworkers seems to be taking it over. It's an ongoing struggle with this coworker to respect boundaries and keep her off my files... But in this case, I'm thinking it would be better for all if I left this one go. After all, I am not rewarded at work for doing more or making these sorts of sacrifices. I get paid the same, whether I do more or less. So why not do less -- especially if it affects my peace of mind.
If my focus is to be on my own happiness, I must be aware of what I need to let go...
I've caught myself a couple of times this week - so far - making bad food choices (baked potato at dinner, ice cream from McDonald's from the title company...), not sure how this week's weigh in will go...
And now my husband says I'm crabby this morning, lol...
Definitely time to refocus on what's important.
EVENING EDIT: DON'T THINK THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE EATING EVERY LAST CHOCOLATE, COOKIE, AND ICE CREAM IN THIS HOUSE...
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
The McDonald's drive-thru has been my go-to place for getting ice cream cones for the past few months. Instead of feeling like a nice occasional treat, they tend trigger my desire for more sugar.
I agree that you don't need to do anything more if you feel it is stressing you out or there is a lot of negativity surrounding it. If you don't have to work on this particular file, just let it go.
a baked potato is far from the worst choice, you J-Donkey!
ice cream...well, thank gosh i have my light stuff! haha...i bet it was good, did you stick with a serving/portion?
ignore husband's words...try not to let it make you crabbier...when people tell you "oh, you look tired today!" - we tend to hound on the fact they said it and it can affect your day and actually cause you to feel even more tired...same with the husband and the "crabby" scenario. i read this...mind games!
Refocus on you. let some things go..as you said...
Hung up on a caller and got into an argument with my mail coworker.
Yes, it was a full day...
EVENING EDIT: I finally made a doctor's appointment as a new patient, with new insurance. I'll be seeing the doctor in January 18th, LOL...
Staying away from coworkers. Toxic people at it again. The best thing for me to do is be happy.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
Like Horn, I had hoped to go to sleep early last night but that didn't work out. So maybe tonight...
Trying to get my mind in "work mode" but I'd rather not. The associate attorney is out until Thursday; my boss leaves for a week next week, so he won't feel like sitting at all. I can't even wrap my mind around what files need attention this week.
My daughter is acting manager at work this week, so she will be working a different schedule, meaning my husband will be alone most afternoons. He gets bored/lonely and talks more at dinner. It's only for a week. We'll see how he does.
I did a lot of food prep for myself last night, so at least I'm getting today off to a good start in that way.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
me too, i have SO MUCH food stored right now...i should eat it in order of when i cooked it/ more likely when i BOUGHT it! haha...mostly prepared stuff from a variety of places. and everything is nicely prepped, flavored, tons of veggie choices to enjoy...no need to spend more money this week on food out! :) i love bringing food from home, especially when it's a variety.
and when i'm more simply and easy, i'll just bring a whole veggie or two (like a tomato and pepper) to simply add volume to my lunch at work for very little cals as i'd describe 75% of my intake/diet as Volumetric.
A brutally hot day. It's the humidity that's making it feel so uncomfortable. It was cool last night, but the humidity was so high that I buckled and turned on the AC last night.
Changed up my morning routine a little bit, so that I did the easy exercise bike a little later. Folded laundry, then went grocery shopping --- arrived too late and got stuck in the Sunday Crowd. I brought extra meat --- sorry Jasmine! - to save my husband extra grief and work in his meal planning through midweek. It's going to be just Mr. Donkey and myself for T,W, Th dinner.
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
if you want a really good read, tho the language at times has made me look up some vocab words bc it's written rather really well!...the book is called 7 Women and the Secret of the Greatness by Eric Metaxas...it's very good read especially for catholics and jews..you'll see why. i can only read a little at a time and the intro was dry...but once you get into it, it's so well written that you'll get the chills reading it!
LOL...apolagizing to the vegetarian are you!? i wonder if she cares if you eat meat! hahahaa!
enjoy the time with Mr D for dinner this week...perhaps he can help prep some stuff...cut some veggies?..i'm giving him work!
SO NOT VERY HAPPY WITH MY WEIGH-IN THIS MORNING... but I had to laugh, because - get this - the Ironman scale (which ALWAYS weighs me higher than my regular scale) actually weighed me in LOWER than my regular scale. Regular digital scale: 129.5 (booo); Ironman digital scale: 129.4 (yay!!!). I'm tellin' you, Scale Insanity is real.
I survived the work party and I survived the Church Ladies' dinner. I felt I made good choices at both events. I didn't do as much socializing at the Work Party as I probably should have. I'm just not that kind of person to walk around and mingle. I can't change this aspect of myself; it's who I am. I'm getting the impression that it's hard for my boss -- as a natural extrovert -- to understand my inability and discomfort. I could probably overcome this after drinking a couple of alcoholic drinks, but I don't want to do that!!! Had a large hot dog and lots of raw fruits and vegetables.
Church ladies was fun! The most popular, outgoing lady canceled at the last minute. I love her to death - she's helped me in so many ways - but I strongly suspect that she's trying to leave our little group. When she canceled, I thought, Geez, how are the rest of us going to be able to find stuff to talk about? But we did -- for a few hours! They were talking about joining a Girlfriends Gathering the church is starting up, where there is a main speaker for a little bit, and then you meet with your girlfriends afterwards, BYOB. If there's no charge, I think this is something I'd like to try. I did think of these ladies the minute I read about it in the weekly bulletin... Turns out, some of them did too! And maybe it will bring the other lady back to us. She's so outgoing and gregarious though, that she probably would rather hang out with ladies she's closer to, friend-wise and emotionally. Ate an entire salad which had bleu cheese, pecans, and bacon. (Maybe too much salt for today's weigh-in? I don't care, it was delicious and I was HUNGRY.)
Anyway, focusing on the weekend....
Random Thought:
As you know, my Fitbit has been instrumental in helping me lose and keep off the weight. Lately, I cannot update/sync my statistics unless I am at home. I'm not sure why. It doesn't matter if I'm on WiFi or not, the Fitbit won't sync to my phone. This has been frustrating because I do like to monitor my progress throughout the day -- especially when I am at work, to make sure I do get up from my computer desk and move around a little... Maybe this was meant to be, so that I don't obsess over step count during the day. IDK...
Progress as of today: 57 lbs lost so far, only -7 lbs to go!
I might be that odd introvert that enjoys being in the company of extroverts. I like to listen and watch and provide feedback and input/questions. The one church lady who decided to cancel at the last minute - a total extrovert, and I love her for it!
1. EXCELLENT, excellent job on eating and food choices at both events. the salad sounds wonderful as does a nice hot dog with your own veggies and fruits to satisfy your stomach a bit more.
2. I know exactly where you are coming from about not being the walking-around-talking-mingling type. I am the same way, especially when i don't know people that way. I like to sit and eat and talk to whomever i am near also. this has been a struggle of mine, too, and yes, it's my personality. i feel you. i am glad you are up to accepting it. good job not drinking bc of that.
3. seems the scales really are INSANE. especially that now they are backwards! and the bad one is now the good one - very strange! - another reason not to let it get to you too much...and to focus most on the good choices to help with your weight, which you are doing...and of course when the scales are going up, to dial it back a little (easier said than done, oh how i know!)
4. let me send these comments before they accidentally get deleted before i go on.... finally i'm relaxed and happy to get some good commenting in on your entry...wayyyyyy more fun than the wedding tonight! :)
I used to marvel at extroverts at how talented they were to handle a large audience, keeping the conversation going... Now I'm starting to realize that it's not a talent, per se, but just a personality. I wonder if I could try to consider myself a talented introvert.
6. The library is awesome! even more awesome, lately my coworkers are giving me books to read, and they are turning out to be outrageously good. This one i'm reading now is on 7 great women - and if you are of either christian or jewish background, the book will hit even more closer to home. it is an amazing book, and there are short stories in it of 7 great women. a few of them you will definitely know :) like rosa parks and Mother Teresa but there are several i didn't know and reading up on them, i am saddened that our Jewish religion / schools have failed to educate us of more of the wonderful women around the world. I just figured out why, Rosa Parks is from US, but these other women are not...which is why we probably don't learn about them in school...as there's little time for Global Studies in the school system.
7. LOL, enjoy your Christmas in August episode! So you will be seeing women give birth!?
8. I do agree that like the scale, the fitbit is similar. yes, i do think it's a good thing for you that you don't have to know it all day....you know what you have to do...and the fitbit is also a tool that "shows" you the work you do...the results of your work...and i do agree that it is a benefit in disguise that you don't need to see it tracking all day long. i do agree.
6. My book was disappointing. It didn't cover the subject I thought it did. I'm returning it as soon as I can. I won't read it. (Kind of upset that this was promoted as one thing, but really is something completely different.)
7. It's fictional, but they show babies' heads coming out (from a side view). It's set in the 1950's and is about helping a very poor, British community. And the doctor is very handsome...
8. 100% spot on - as usual. I won't sweat this any more. I will update before work (after my morning workout) and then before bed, to tally up the stats. That's all I need for where I'm at.
Making progress: Did not approach Queen Bee about Friday's menu for the office party. Good advice! I'll just roll with whatever is there. Not worth the drama...
Instead, I volunteered to cover the phones for the first hour or first half of the party. I can load up on vegetables at my desk, and then have a burger at the party. They might get veggie burgers, but if not, that's ok too.
I got BOLD and told the church ladies we're meeting at a different place (where I can get a salad or something healthier). Didn't mean to be bossy but no one was making any definitive decisions, so I made them, everyone agreed.
Truth time: this is my exercise. I ride my old exercise bike in the morning, with, at best, low resistance (like almost none) to loosen up my legs and back. I take a 20 minute walk at lunch, to decompress. At home, in the evening, I ride the programmable exercise bike for 45-50 minutes while I watch tv. It's a more challenging workout but feels good when I'm finished.
Throw in 5 minutes of weights, 4 days a week.
Idk if that's too much, but keep in mind that I pretty much sit all day at my desk in front of a computer.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
I don't think that's too much exercise. I also sit in front of a computer most of the day; when i'm in a good routine, I will swim in the morning for 30 minutes; I almost always get out for two walks every day i'm at work - each time it's 20 minutes; in the evening I will often have an hour long workout of some kind. That's without training for anything. So, no, I don't think what you're doing is too much. Your legs must be very strong! I might rather do something else in the morning to warm up, like yoga or pilates or even a stretching routine, to offer some balance in your workouts, but if you like to ride the bike, go for it!
GREAT idea...to have veggies while covering phones...i'd have done the exact same thing!
GREAT idea again with church ladies...no need to be totally uncomfortable with poor restaurant options...who knows, maybe you'll have a good effect on someone else in the group !
no, your exercise is not too much at all. it's great. good idea, again!, in the morning to exercise. very important. ...keep on.
Random thoughts:
I probably spoke too soon about being 1 pound away from a 60-pound loss, with the way my weight fluctuates. I can feel the consequences of yesterday's choices today. Sometimes, it's just what's on the menu...
If I were training for a race or an event, people wouldn't give me such flack for exercising. Why isn't it ok that I exercise because I love to do it?
Work is throwing a realtor party on Friday... with no healthy food. (I must ask Queen Bee about the menu, but I have to be very careful about how I go about doing this). Then I'm meeting up with my church ladies for dinner... at a place called "Meat and Potatoes" - ugh!
It will be a difficult weigh-in on Saturday.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
Bring a veggie platter or YOUR OWN VEGGIES on the day of the work party. You can eat your veggies and just tastes of the other stuff. PLAN IT. at meat and potatoes, see the menu, maybe there's a salad or side of veggies you can get with just tastes of the other stuff. pull thru!, plan ahead. small tastes of the heavy stuff.
Now, saying that, i'm talking about people who are exercising multiple times each day, working their bodies to the very extreme. If i'm wrong, correct me, but I understand that you go on your exercise bike every night for about an hour, and you will sometimes do a bit of a weight lifting routine?
Nothing wrong with that. Whoever is telling you that there is something wrong with that, can go ahead and get their head checked. That's called leading an active lifestyle by being active in some way, every day, for at least 30-50 minutes a day.
You are rocking it, and you are an inspiration to the rest of us. Don't stop being awesome!
I realized that I am 1 pound away from being able to say that I've lost 60 pounds on this journey... Just putting that out there.
I was really looking forward to having a private chat with one of the volunteers at legal clinic, because she has been on this "minimalist", downsizing journey this past year. She also has done WW to lose weight, and I wanted to explore with her a topic that we touched on here at DD, with regards to a minimalist approach to losing weight, e.g. after the first 3 bites, food doesn't taste as good, etc.
Unfortunately, she and I didn't have the opportunity to expound on this much, so maybe more next month, but she agreed with me that she has been incorporating this approach with her food intake, i.e. her food is either "essential for life" (i.e. healthy foods) or "brings her joy" (i.e. wine, dessert).
What I found most interesting though is that she says that the new WW does not work for her and has not been able to lose weight with it. She feels that there are too many "free foods" that should not be free, and she is unable to meet daily goals with the new points system (dailyl base points + weekly freebies). So she has been very frustrated and that's why she wanted to speak with me. We spoke very briefly, and I encouraged her to try to go back to the old WW point system - with which she did have success. The BEST part is that I have old WW points books that I've been holding on to for some unknown reason -- I don't count points, but I just haven't been able to give these books away. I will give them to my friend at next month's legal clinic, knowing that they have a good home.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
I almost joined for the real-life support group. That was the draw for me.
i do agree that with food, after a few bites, it doesn't taste the same and we just keep eating out habit i'd say...or we keep eating for comfort. both of these reasons are things i do.
i agree - the new WW is horrible based on everything i hear. calories in & calories out...points in and points out...can't be any other way. no freebies.
Good weigh-in... on both scales, lol... One thing I forgot to mention about the VA hospital visit was to say how friendly and pleasant everyone was. Random folks saying good morning to each other, thanking clients for their service, just nice. :) Work was busy but manageable, although I DID end up staying an hour over. A lot of last minute stuff came up at 4p. My husband said he's used to late dinners on Friday. (wah wah) I know I told Maria that I would try to relax this weekend. This is hard for me to do! After legal clinic this morning, my time will be my own!
AFTERNOON EDIT: Sure enough, my husband received a notice in the mail that he has an appointment at the VA -- same location, same crazy drive! -- to see a rheumatologist. I commend the VA for such a rapid response. Wow, that was crazy fast! an internest doctor for IBS.
great job saying on deciding your time will be your own after the clinic. if you want your own time, best to allow it to yourself. Same here, for me today. It makes me happy to not be rushing around as much today :)
PS...i took a day off friday and still haven't fully decided what i'm doing. one option was to spend the WHOLE day at beach with the friend that loves it - but that wouldn't be relaxing day for me...so...i haven't really asked her yet....as it's important on MY DAYS off to spend them how my body and mind want to spend them...so i'm thinking Friday to be a relaxing day...not to please anyone else except myself, first and foremost! so that the vaca day is a REAL vaca day!
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i think the tired feeling was just that, being tired. we all have times when we can use a little more rest, def my own opinion based on my experiences!