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Donkey - Thursday Feb 07, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Just announcing that tomorrow is my weigh-in! And I feel like eating the entire house. Slipped up yesterday and ate a whole loaf of Irish soda bread from our ethnic supermarket. Oh MY but that is GOOD! Then I had 2 dishes of ice cream, later on that night. I had spent over 2 hours shoveling in the cold snow. My hunger was out of control.

I hate winter.

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

workingit2 on 02/07/2008:
Damned winter!!!

thinnsidenotout on 02/07/2008:
Hey have to enjoy loaf (oopsie) I mean life once and a while {-;-}........ Shoveling that much snow, you have to do something to get the energy level back and you enjoyed it...WE hate winter now, but we will hate summer in a few months...

borntocry on 02/08/2008:
You mean I'm not the only one who eats whole loaves of bread?! You don't say!

You must have burned hundreds of calories shoveling snow, and in the cold, too, when your body uses up even more energy to maintain its temperature. No wonder you were so ravenous. Whereas I felt the same way yesterday and have no excuse!

You were right, by the way, I did say that I was going to update my weight but that was when I was hoping it would go down after a few days on the straight and narrow, so to speak. Instead it keeps going up, and now today I'm inevitably going to be gorging myself on bread, so there's no hope for tomorrow. But maybe this weekend...

so_devine on 02/08/2008:
well done on the weight loss. keep it up, hope your having a great day

Donkey - Wednesday Feb 06, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 133.0

For the record, I have spent over 120 minutes today shoveling snow. And I'm not done yet, because it hasn't stopped snowing all day.

Woke up at 4:30 - needed to shovel mouth of driveway because of the snow the municipal plow piled up from plowing the street (20 minutes)

Shovel #1 @ 9:30a - School canceled, hence work canceled. Had my 2 kids help me clear off the driveway which had about 5 inches of snow on it. (60 minutes)

Shovel #2 @ 2:27p - Just came in from that one. About 3-4 inches of snow on the driveway. Must clear way before Husband comes home from work or he won't be able to pull in. I don't see how he'll be able to drive on our street. The mailman came in his pick-up truck (4 wheel drive) and he almost got stuck! I expect Husband to take about an hour to get home, normally takes him 10 minutes. (40 minutes)


Shovel #3 @ 6:46p - Shoveled for only 10 minutes because Husband was already out there shoveling. I did the mouth of the driveway AGAIN, because the snow plow FINALLY came down our cul-de-sac and of course, pushed a nice wall of snow at the end of the driveway. (10 minutes)

My next door neighbor's mailbox is blocked by snow and so is ours. So my guess is that the plow will come by again -- when we are not outside glaring at him -- and clear that snow away, and promply place it at the mouth of our driveway.

So now you know what I will be doing at 5:30a tomorrow morning as I get ready to leave for work. :-(

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

mmuraro on 02/06/2008:
That's a good workout! Enjoy the rest of the day in!

shadetree on 02/06/2008:
I can sympathize...we've got a ton of snow here, I needed someone to push me out of my parking space at work so I could drive the half hour home (I'm a mile and a half away from work!) This is the pits - but a good workout!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/06/2008:
sorry about the snow...you got great exercise!

thinnsidenotout on 02/06/2008:
Nothin' like mother nature handing you a workout right to your doorstep huh? Be careful....shoveling can be a back killer.....

workingit2 on 02/06/2008:
Holy smokes!! That's a lot of exercise! Don't hurt the back! Take care of yourself =)

iwant2bthin on 02/06/2008:
Wow you did get a good workout today! I pray you're resting now! :)

leeumom on 02/06/2008:
Wow, bet the kids were glad----no school! Good exercise.

crategrl on 02/06/2008:
Spring cannot come fast enought!!!

Donkey - Monday Feb 04, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 133.0

You may notice that my weight went down 0.5lb. Yes, this despite having eaten over 3000 calories yesterday. (I'm giving Horn of Plenty a run for her money!)(Yuck, it's not a fun competition. I ate so much my pancreas hurt! I couldn't inhale deeply for over 3 hours!)

This week, I have very limited time at the gym. I have a driving route that extends into my break in the morning, so my free time of 9a-1:30p is decreased to 10:30a-1:45p. I have decided that it is better to do SOMETHING at the gym rather than to give up and do nothing.

So today, instead of my usual hour on the elliptical, I only did 35 minutes. Then I used the remainder of the hour to do weight training (lower body). Maybe this "change-up" will bring some positive results. More muscle tone? Who knows? It is all I can do, and I'm trying to take a balanced approach to my workouts this week.

I have this longer driving route Monday (today) and Tuesday. Then Wednesday and Thursday I go back to more bus training, which will make my morning break (my Gym Time) more like 11:30a-1:30p. I detest this training. I have no desire to learn this new vehicle format. Nor do I like the trainer very much. Perhaps she is more like me than I care to admit. I tend not to like people who are like myself in personality. And come to think of it, she does have a similar personality. A "get down to business, be very thorough" attitude. Now if she could just STOP being so condescending about it all....

Tomorrow I am driving routes by myself. It is the first time I have ever driven on my own. I am nervous. I will get through it. Hopefully without crashing or killing anything (anyone).

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

mmuraro on 02/04/2008:
3 lbs to go! That has to feel good! Congrats.

thinnsidenotout on 02/04/2008:
You will be just fine.....Once you get in that drivers seat and around a few corners...It will seem like old hat.....Have a great evening!

workingit2 on 02/04/2008:
Congrats on the lost half lb! You will be fine driving on your own! Enjoy!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/05/2008:
hi there, Donkey. I didn't realize you were training to be a bus driver. That's pretty cool...I can't imagine being the operator of a school bus at all! Anyways, I know you can do it and I know how it can be stressful at the beginning. I think its about time we get in sync with our eating patterns...making them successful. And, after you pointed it out awhile back, I see how you are right that we kinda are opposites with our success! lol.

borntocry on 02/05/2008:
Oh, I know what that's like (being unable to inhale deeply from eating too much). You and HoP aren't the only ones in competition here!

So you have a "get down to business" attitude - that's cool. Maybe your trainer just hasn't noticed it yet. She's probably used to people being less thorough than her and hasn't realised that you're not like that.

Yeah, I did think that was the most awesome Superbowl ever!! Even my curmudgeonly Giants-and-Patriots-hating husband had to admit that it was up there. I was also getting really sick of all the Tom Brady adoration going over the last few days/weeks/months. And he certainly let it get to his head, didn't he? "We're only going to score 17 points?!" It seems pride came before a fall.

mmuraro on 02/05/2008:
Hey, yeah, work will keep you busy and not so free for snacking, but try to make sure you dont make poor food choices because you need to grab something quick, and that you don't stop exercising. That happened to me when I first started working when I was 18 and I completely lost track there. Yeah, it's a never ending battle! Good luck. :)

shadetree on 02/06/2008:
So did you kill anything?:) I hope your week is going good - it will all be okay once you get used to it. I promise! Just give it time! (This from the impatient one!)

amanda8419 on 02/06/2008:
i have a 2-2.5 month supply left of the pills so yeah im trying them again. it helps me get used to not stuffing my face all day lol

Donkey - Saturday Feb 02, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 133.5

OK I could choose not to weigh in until the weight went down. But I'm not going to. I'm being 100% honest with you and with myself. Quite frankly, with all the bingeing I've been doing at night, I'm surprised my weight isn't higher. If I had seen 137, I would not have been surprised. Sad, yes. Discouraged, yes. Angry, totally.

So I kind of look at this number as a gift, or a free pass. Just 0.5lb out of my self-determined "maintenance range." (Which is 133-127, a 3lb leeway in either direction.)

Another tough week coming up. My stomach isn't right. I don't know if my sickness has settled in my stomach or if it's nerves or what. I know I"m not myself because I have little desire for coffee. I love coffee, but now I"m down to 1 cup a day in the mornings. And I think that's just to prevent headaches later on. I've been drinking diet soda pop instead. The bubbles really help my stomach and queasiness.

I thought it might be the stress of the job, but even vegetables have lost their appeal to me. Which would explain why I'm craving sweets like I have been. So I asked Husband to buy more fruit when he went to the market today. What a sweetie I have :-)

I have also come to the conclusion that if job training -- yes, I have more job training this week -- is going to interfere with a daily hour workout, then darn it, I'm going to get to the gym and do what I CAN. My aim is for 30 minutes on training days. (I'm learning how to drive an oversized school bus.) You see, I normally get 4 hour break in the middle of the day, which is great for going to the gym, coming home and showering, then having lunch and then go back to work. Well, the training cuts 2-2.5 hours into the break. But I think I can try very hard to squeeze in a workout. I usually can't go after work because the kids have homework or activities that I need to help them with.

Hmm... I'm wondering if I could make it to the gym BEFORE I have to be at work, if I hussle my butt to the front door AT 5a. Hmm... Probably not. Fortunately, I don't have many days of this training, I don't believe. Probably depends on how I do with the testing, ha ha (weak laugh). God, more testing for Donkey? Lord have mercy upon me, please....

Progress as of today: 10.5 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/02/2008:
That's a good maitanence range and i guess this would be the red flag telling you to watch what you eat a bit more closely in these upcoming weeks!

thank you for your feedback on anatomy and physiology and how it could just lead to binging all semester. haha, i was thinking about that this morning and afternoon before i read your comment. That's when i made the promise to do yoga at least 5X a week and schedule study time and not think about studying, but rather, just study! you are right, it is a TON of memorizing...and i'm glad i don't have to take any other courses right now along with it!

thinnsidenotout on 02/02/2008:
A lot of foods lost their appeal to me when I was pregnant, but sure wish they would have been ALL the time.... Job training is always a difficult task and can cause stresses, making your body act funny... Good luck to you in your endevour and keep up the good work!

workingit2 on 02/02/2008:
I bet those pounds just fall off once you get back into it! Good luck getting your gym time in the way you want!

CritterMom on 02/04/2008:
Just exercise in 10 minute spurts, whenever you can fit it in. Nothing says you can't do pelvic tilts as you're sitting at the desk...or run up the stairs when you have to go to a different floor of the building. See how many different ways you can sneak in a way to up that heart rate and move some muscles. :)

shadetree on 02/04/2008:
Michigan. And I ask myself why every winter!

Donkey - Friday Feb 01, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 0.0

I've been hiding. I've been falling into bad eating habits again. I didn't feel that I had much to say about anything. I found myself eating incredible amounts of sugar in the evenings. Yesterday my "fat" jeans started feeling a little tighter than I like, so I knew I had to do something soon. And then it hit me:

I didn't realize how sleep deprived I was until Thursday morning. I made a plan to get myself OUT of the kitchen ASAP after diner last night, get myself upstairs and ready for bed EARLY. I was asleep by 8:30p. I woke up refreshed. I feel so renewed.

Unfortunately, I forgot to weigh myself this morning before having a cup of coffee. I was up early because I needed to see if school was canceled for the kids -- which it has been. Yay I'm a SAHM again for the day (Stay At Home Mom)!!!

So I am using this extended weekend to regroup and recharge.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank EVERYONE who stopped by my diary to lend a word of encouragement, sympathy and kindness over my recent losses and stressors in my life. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for taking time out of your busy lives to lend me some comfort. I am still sad but I know this will take time to get over. Thank you all -- you guys are the best!!!

workingit2 on 02/01/2008:
It is perfectly understandable that you've been reaching for the rush the sugar brings. Being exhausted and sad. Glad you have the opportunity to stay home with the kids today and that you are going to take the weekend and help yourself. Take care and have a good day!

hollybelle on 02/01/2008:
Catching up on your posts - you have had quite some week or two! Sorry for all the sad things. You have held up very well, though. As for sleep deprived - I always reach for food more when I'm tired - like that will wake me up.....get some sleep and start over......all the best.

so_devine on 02/01/2008:
i agree with workingit2 you are going to have times when you are going to feel low and eat the "forbidin foods/snacks" dont put yourself down for it! ( i know i cant stick to it when i say i will, where only human.

i am sorry to her about the hard times in your life. it must be difficult but i can tell your a strong women. take care x

thinnsidenotout on 02/01/2008:
Good to see your back and on the way to renewing your healthy lifestyle....

shadetree on 02/01/2008:
Get some sleep - then you will be at least well rested enough to resist the urges. Take the time to take care of yourself! Have a good weekend!

borntocry on 02/01/2008:
Well, it looks like you are already getting back on track! Good for you!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/01/2008:
welcome back!!! you know, sleep does it to me too! Lately, I have realized, that I have been acting similiar to you because i have been missing sleep. I feel like sleep unlocks the key to eating good levels of calories.

Donkey - Sunday Jan 27, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 129.0

I don't have much to say. This was a very hard weekend. The funeral was very nice. I'm glad I made the decision to be with my sweetie cat when we (I) put her down. I didn't want her to die alone on a cold steel table. I asked her to forgive me.

Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

maria777 on 01/27/2008:
So sorry to hear about all that you are going through...my prayers are with you.

shadetree on 01/27/2008:
I'm glad you had the strength to be there with your cat. I'm sure she has forgiven you - she is no longer suffering. Will continue to keep you and yours in my prayers.

workingit2 on 01/27/2008:
(((hug))) what a difficult weekend for you, for sure. May your grandfather rest in peace and may you be at peace knowing that your cat is no longer suffering and is resting comfortably.

fritters on 01/27/2008:
I went through this with my cat a year ago. I held her while they gave her the shot. It is all we can do. I think that we do it as much for our selves as for the cat. I hope life gets easier for you real soon.

crategrl on 01/27/2008:

timeforachange on 01/27/2008:
It makes me sad to come back and read that you are having a rough time =(. Stay strong through this and know that we're all thinking about you. I pray that things get better and brighter for you in the near future.

thinnsidenotout on 01/29/2008:
Sorry! Prayers/Thoughts are with you at this difficult time....

borntocry on 01/29/2008:
You did what was best for your cat! And you were there for her 'til the end. I'm sure she couldn't have asked for a better mistress...

Donkey - Friday Jan 25, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Take a look at that fabulous weigh-in!!! I am amazed that I was able to stay under 130 (technically speaking) with the kind of week that I have had. But I did it! Which should prove something to myself. Not to give up? Not to drown myself in food? I dunno. Too tired to think it through.

But I was so happy for the good weigh in today. It seemed to lift me up. I can tell that I'm getting a rhythm with working now. Even though it's not easy and I still get stressed, I do my time and then rest of the time is mine.

Tomorrow is the funeral for Grandpa. I'm having Husband make the appointment to put down the cat on Sunday. I kind of want to be there with her. She's such a delicate little thing, and I hate to think that her last minutes on earth would be in a strange place with her being scared. I think that if I were with her... she would have some comfort in that. Just as Grandpa wanted to die with family around him, I think I could afford the same courtesy to someone (something?) that has brought me so much joy and comfort these past 14 years.

And I definitely don't want to have to do that on a day where I have to work/drive! Those days are hard enough without having to deal with the cat as well.

Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

thinnsidenotout on 01/25/2008:
GREAT FOR YOU!!!!!! I like your user name....My maiden name was Burrow...You can imagine the razz I got about that sometimes, especially when somebady was mad at me..... Have a great weekend!

shadetree on 01/25/2008:
And you have found a rainbow in the storm....Glad you're getting into a rhythm with work. Once you get used to things you'll look back and wonder why you were so anxious! You'll be just fine. Promise!

I will continue to pray for you this weekend, that you have the strength to make it through okay...I know you'll be okay.

Take care!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/25/2008:
hello there! congrats on a great weigh in! :) sometimes busy weeks do us good. although we don't get in our regular exercise, we still have a lot keeping us occupied!

CharlieAngel on 01/25/2008:
Sorry about your grandpa and the kitty! Sad stuff for you...but you are coping well with work and hey...yeah you...you lost weight. Take care and have the best weekend possible under the circumstances. Blessings to you!

mylifechanges on 01/25/2008:
good for you with your number results! you're doing great! I'm so sorry to hear about both your grandfather and your cat. :( Animals can become such big parts of our lives...it's always difficult to say goodbye. Many blessings your way!

geevee on 01/25/2008:
Oh, can I relate!What fantastic progress! I once did what you did, and then I went astray, HOWEVER,I am now back on track and hope to meet up with you in the "20's"

biscottibody59 on 01/26/2008:
So much sorrow to deal with all at once. Hope you get some needed rest in the coming days as well!

Glad you had a good weigh-in!

(And needless to say, I appreciate the support whenever possible:-)

Donkey - Thursday Jan 24, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 128.5

Donkey is tired.

Grandpa (Husband's grandfather) has passed away. We received the call late last night. Friday (tomorrow) is the wake, which I cannot attend because of the damn job. Saturday is the funeral and luncheon. I'm sure both will be so sad... And nothing like having a huge honkin' luncheon buffet on a sad occasion.

I am still sick. It seems to hit me really hard around noon. People think I'm falling apart. They keep asking me, "Are you alright?" "Are you OK?" Um, well, I feel like crap, and wish I were at home in bed instead of working -- or trying to learn how to work. Other than that, oh sure fine.

Oh and add on to that, that it was -26F degrees (with wind chill) outside this morning, and I'm out there trying to do a pre-trip inspection of my vehicle in the middle of darkness.

We're putting my beloved cat down this weekend. I think Sunday, if possible. She is no longer eating much of anything any more. She is losing... um... digestive fluids in larger quantities on a regular basis. The scary thing is, no matter which end it comes out, it looks and smells the same. Now that is bad. It's time to let go.

(Great, more sadness. Somebody bake me a cake.)

I did make it to the gym today. I wasn't going to, because I only had 3 hours off between driving runs today (today I did not drive; I only observed or "shadowed" another driver). But I pushed myself to go because I knew it would do my mind and body so much good. And it did.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I'm not sure I should weigh in. With all the stress eating earlier this week and lack of exercise midweek... And then not feeling very good at all about this job thing -- I feel so lost and overwhelmed -- I dunno if Donkey needs one more thing to come crashing down on her. But then again, it's just a number, it's just to let me know where I'm at. If nothing else, it's so I'll have an accurate reading for the cardio machines when I resume going to the gym on a regular basis...

Donkey is tired.

Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

shadetree on 01/24/2008:
I am so sorry. I think the stress of Grandpa's passing and your cat and the new job is just really playing havoc with your body...It's only natural that you would be absolutely exhausted. I will be praying for you, sending a bit of strength your way. Hang tough.

workingit2 on 01/24/2008:
Sorry to hear of your loss and all the sickness and stress behind you. It is so difficult to let go of pets, but you know you are doing the right thing. Take care of yourself and get rest when you can. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

crategrl on 01/25/2008:
Sorry to hear about your sadness! I know your days will get brighter!!!

Donkey - Wednesday Jan 23, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 128.5

OK so here it is:

1. I passed the test -- BARELY. I made a HUGE error that personally I would have failed myself for if I had been the one grading. No excuses for what I did, just not thinking. But I did pass, so I should begin a new schedule of working (and working out and eating) tomorrow, but possibly Friday.

2. I have not been eating well this week, nor have I exercised (hardly at all) this week. Therefore, I do not expect a favorable weigh in on Friday.

3. I am still sick. Each day improves *slightly* but not by much. Now it's in my chest and I'm coughing all the time.

It seems that too much is happening all at once and I'm totally unprepared for all the changes!

Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

fritters on 01/23/2008:
Congratulations on passing your test! That has to feel good.

CritterMom on 01/24/2008:
You've been under stress, and that taxes your immune system. No wonder you're sick. I hope you will find some ways to relax and get some exercise in, too. Those things boost the immune system and will help you feel better.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/24/2008:
Sometimes we just have those unavoidable weeks that are less than motivating for us because of everything else we have to do. But you know what, you have been doing a great job maintaining! Remember, you reached one of the most difficult goals people make in weightloss. Now, all you have to do is keep moderating what you eat, week to week. I know it is easier said than done...but at least you don't have to face being at your heigheset weight and also going through all this stress.

When you feel better, that's probably the best time to get the exercise in. If you have a chest cough, I wouldn't do much cardio at all. If it was just a cold, then it would be a better idea. :)

Feel better. I know you can hang tough.

workingit2 on 01/24/2008:
Congratulations on passing the test! Now that is one worry off your mind! Sometimes everything hits hard and fast and when we don't feel well, it really messes with our heads. Take care of yourself and get as much rest as you can! Have a great day =)

shadetree on 01/24/2008:
You passed. That's all that matters. (I finally convinced myself of this after I got my first B in college - I'm a geek in case no one realizes that - and I freaked...but then I realized that no one asks what your GPA was in college, they just care that you have the degree - that you passed. And you passed.

Chest congestion - hopefully productive coughing - you're on the mend! Tomorrow is another day and it will be better!

Donkey - Tuesday Jan 22, 2008
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 128.5

Friends of DD, you have always been with me, throughout the year last year, through good times and bad, thick and thin.

So I'm posting today to let you know that my test for my CDL is tomorrow. I do not expect to pass. I am nervous. I never do well for driving tests.

I am still sick. I skipped the gym today because I was dizzy and congested when I woke up. Tomorrow, I will wake up not so early and give myself time to do whatever I have to do so that I feel better by the time my test starts (i.e. take medicine and give it time to kick in, hot shower, menthol rub, etc.). I do not plan on going to the gym tomorrow either.

I have been eating chocolate like it is a food group. I must say, it has helped calm my nerves, even if it's not very nutritious.

So I just have to get through tomorrow morning. I know that regardless of whatever happens, I will still have friends here.

Progress as of today: 15.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

shadetree on 01/22/2008:
I used to work for a trucking company and based on what I remember, you should be okay (unless you are like me and cannot back up...) Just remember to BREATHE! I'm trying to remember - is it just written or is there a driving section as well? If it's written only you should really be okay. Is there a DMV/Secretary of State (whatever it is there) branch that is easier than others? (I know it's not supposed to happen, but we had drivers that would drive an hour to renew their hazmat because that particular branch was so much more lenient.)

have a piece of chocolate, (okay - I'm not supposed to tell you to do that, but we're in kind of a mini-crisis it sounds like) and BREATHE! Good luck!

dearerdiarist on 01/22/2008:
I am just here to remind you to think as positively as you are able and to have confidence in yourself and your teachers. We are all rooting for you, I am sure that you know that, but it is majorly important that you root for your dear self. I believe that there are angels on shoulders. Be sure to pat yours :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/22/2008:
are you nervous about the driving test? is that why you are sick? sometimes i get really tired/run down when i think about things i am unsure about. Just thinking about things sometimes draws my energy...its not a usual occurance, like depression or anything, but that may have added to your sickness.

dark chocolate is nutritious...have some of that...:)

i wish you loads of goodluck tomorrow as well as some feeling better wishes, too! :)

hollybelle on 01/23/2008:
Hope it went well. Mama said there'd be days like this......you can do it!

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