I want to write this now, to get this off my chest, so that hopefully I can sleep better tonight and won't dread going into the office tomorrow.
My boss made a significant mistake last week, and it came to light late Friday afternoon. I followed up on it today, and the clients didn't get their way. The husband called and spoke to me - because, of course, my boss is out of the office (I'll explain) - and the husband said he was so upset with us because we didn't address his concern properly that he's probably going to fire us. Yes, I think he should fire us. I would fire us. But there was nothing I could do, other than to take a message for my boss.
(BTW, firing us isn't going to fix the problem, but I would still fire us.)
I then went to Mistakes Girl and Male Co-Worker and asked them to stop working on anything on these deals (it's a sell/buy on the same day), because we're probably going to get fired. So at least we're not wasting any money nor any more of our time on these people.
I was very upset when this error came to light on Friday afternoon, at my boss. In a way, I feel somewhat responsible because I did not highlight (with a marker) EXACTLY what needed to be addressed in the attorney negotiation letters. However, I'm really mad at my boss for not reading what the clients are requesting in the emails. He's in such a freakin' hurry to write his letters so that he can surf on the computer or go chat with anyone who has time to listen to him...
So, like Monday, I start highlighting things in emails, so that my boss can clearly see what needs to be in his letters. Nice Lady makes a semi-snide remark, "Now we're highlighting things?" And I said, "Yes, I have to highlight things or they will get missed. (Gesturing at my boss' office) This is where we're at." and she seemed to accept that, and agree by saying, "That's where we're at."
My boss was not in the office this afternoon, to speak to the very upset client, because he had a follow-up stress test at the hospital to see if he has another blockage somewhere. This is a result of his ER visit last week. He didn't feel like coming back to the office afterwards, and heck, I don't blame him, but on the other hand, then why am I left talking to these people who are really upset?
So now, not only do I feel angry, but I also feel sad and very guilty for being angry with someone who isn't feeling well.
Despite all of these negative feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, helplessness, guilt & shame, I have managed not to eat everything in the house. I suspect that cheese would make all of this go away.... but I know that it won't.
Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
A quick entry this morning. Yesterday I wrote down what I ate, and found that I'm eating way too much salad dressing. I'm not counting the calories, per se, but just writing down what I eat. In a way, it keeps me accountable, knowing that I'll have to write it down.
Another thing I noticed is that when I eat at work, I'm very aware of what I'm eating. When I eat at home, for dinner, I don't give it much thought, which leads to overeating, e.g. salad dressing. I found myself reaching for that square of dark chocolate without giving it a second thought. Then I realized, Oh, I need to write this down.
Had trouble drinking enough water yesterday.
Sunday was back weight training. Last night was legs. I thought I'd wake up to some serious soreness, but it turns out, no pain at all. I find it helpful to do 4-5 different exercises. That seems to bring a nice feeling of fatigue to the muscles. This is also helpful, I think, for sleeping well, although I did wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and to show Old Kitty the new location of her litter box. She figured it out; she's such a smart kitty.
(Recap: I have 3 cats: Old Kitty, Good Boy, and Baby/Sick Kitty.)
I stayed a little later at work last night and missed my daughter at dinner time. I left around 5:45p. UGH.
Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
Of course, being retired means I've got plenty of time to do this.
What kind of salad dressing do you use? I use a fat free Italian that's 7 cals per Tbsp.
Funny story - when we took my sister to France in 2006 she kept asking the waiters for Ranch and they had no idea what she wanted. She thought Ranch was universal.
Good morning! It is cold and gray. The rain started around 9am. It wasn't raining when I woke up but now it's wet, and I believe it will rain for most of today. So no putting away the outdoor deck furniture, but I may clip down my dead milkweed in front and move the clippings to the patch of soil I'm trying to restore, to ferment and decay over the winter. Apparently, bugs and small creatures love the large milkweed leaves in the winter (shelter, etc.). So that's something. I also managed to fill up all of the birdfeeders yesterday, in the cold., cold wind, so that's done. The important stuff will get done this weekend.
I did go to the gym yesterday afternoon, and I have to say, I was quite dismayed. I think there are people there now that haven't been going lately, because the weather has turned, and they aren't really on board with the mask-wearing and social distancing. There was one couple there who used machines next to each other so that they could talk, even though the one machine is clearly marked as "not available, for social distancing".
You're supposed to wear a mask until you are actively engaged in your cardio activity. Well, there were a LOT of people walking around the cardio area, NOT engaged in cardio activity, without masks. I wore mine. I wear mine until I start working out. When I'm done, I take my last swig of water, and then the mask goes back on while I sanitize my machine and walk to the next machine or walk back to the locker room.
It also seemed that whatever area I was in, there were people. I went to the right side of the gym, and people came to use the machines around me (albeit social distanced). I cut the workout short and went to the left side of the gym, which was empty, and within 10 minutes, there were 2 people behind me and one person in front of me working out; the right side had since been abandoned. Oh well.... So yes, I predict that gyms will be closed down again, if our numbers keep going up, and if this is any evidence of what people are doing, the numbers will keep going up.
Daughter told me last night that she would like to hang out with me today, on her day off, either nature walk or gym. Well, it's cold and rainy, so perhaps the gym, where she can show me how to use some of the machines. I can't think of another activity I'd like to do with her. She'll be having dinner with her boyfriend, so it's nice to have this little time with her. Maybe I'll ask her if there's something else she'd like to do.
I've been thinking about my weigh-in yesterday.
I guess it's hard not to be discouraged.
EVENING EDIT:
For several reasons, I opted not to go to go the gym today. My main reason was the foot pain that I've been having today. I had it in the morning, so I switched from wearing Crocs to actual running shoes. The pain went away... but then it came back around noon. I took off my shoe and rubbed the arch, where it meets the ball of my foot. That felt better, put on my shoes, and no problems since.
I don't know if this is the beginning of plantar fasciitis. I have PF in my right foot, which has healed and behaves if I treat it right. I can't remember if what is happening with my left foot is what happened with my right foot, but I *DO* remember that I should not press my luck. I developed PF in my right foot by ignoring the pain, trying to push (exercise) through it, and not wearing proper footwear.
So I'm taking NO chances with my left foot. I will do my PF stretches on both feet tonight. I will rub my left foot tonight. I probably will be wearing gym shoes to work tomorrow.
With this potential injury, you would think that I would be *extra* careful with my calories. After all, that is what I would recommend to you, DD friends. But of course, this is NOT what I did. I ended up having a very carby dinner, then 3 streupwaffel cookies, and then 6 pieces of small mini-candies (like for Halloween).
All of this sugar set my uterus on fire. It feels like I have a pin cushion in reverse in my lower abdomen.
This is how NOT to do things, people.
On the plus side, I did manage to do weight training tonight for my back. If my cardio is going to be curtailed, then even more reason to switch to weights. I can do this.
Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
Enjoy your time with your daughter.
Is your foot pain from plantar fasciitis?
about the gym and safety in terms of Covid - it doesn't sound very safe to me. I don't know how people think it's OK to not wear masks at a germy place like a gym..
i gotta tell you, i hope your foot feels better...and i KNOW it will. you do well with managing any injuries / pain from what i hear from you in your entries.
i feel you and not eating right and suffering. i'm suffering some serious indigestion / gut issues right now after a rather carby lunch of unhealthy crap food followed by gummies with too much fiber...huge problems tonight now.
i have a tendency in the past to "torture" myself because of food choices and then suffering with digestive issues in the next 1-3 days (usually it doesn't go up to 2-3 days, but it used to). anyways, some habits are really hard to break but at least we are doing better than in the past.
I'm not surprised to see the higher number. Even though I was eating less during the day earlier this week, I've been having issues with protein shakes. Also, yesterday, I did eat more - more fruit, more nuts - so I'm not surprised. Disappointed - yes. Discouraged - somewhat, but not giving up. This is a way of life for me.
Things seem to be returning back to normal, and my universe has been restored:
There were only 2 days this past week that I did not leave work before 5:30pm. However, in looking ahead at my task calender, I can see that this next week and the following week will be - once again - extremely busy for me. I don't see an end to this unless there's another COVID shutdown.
COVID positivity rates are rising, somewhat alarmingly (to me). We had gotten down to around 3.9% and now we're at 5.1%. Nevada is a quarrantine state for Chicago. (So if I lived in Chicago, I would have to self-quarrantine after returning from Nevada.) All of the surrounding states are quarrantine states too. I'm not so confident now that I'll be able to visit family in Vegas for Thanksgiving, although my brother just texted me this morning to say that the state is opening up again, slowly.
I plan to go to the gym this weekend, because I have a feeling that they might need to shut down again in the near future. Hopefully, I'm wrong about that. I'll have to see. It is cold, gray, and very windy here today, so folks will want to workout indoors, rather than be outdoors. I can't say I blame them, but I much more enjoyed an emptier gym. Well... we'll see. If I'm not comfortable, I'll cut it short and come home.
I had hoped to do some winterizing work outdoors, but today is not the day for it. It is a good day to be inside.
Progress as of today: 42 lbs lost so far, only 9.5 lbs to go!
What state do you live in? My family is all in Michigan. It looks like almost every state is getting an increase in cases. I hope I can get over there in the summer, safely.
I was just wondering about positivity rates after hearing Iowa is up to 20% now. Wisconsin is over 10, and I know parts of nyc are very high. Need to check my state.
Tried the nut butters last night and didn’t care for either, rather bland. Had cashew and honey almond. Will put in small plates & feed to the wild Birds. They love peanut butter, so guess they’d like any nut butter.
My sister lives in Minnesota.
I'm still here in Illinois. I don't know that we'll leave any time soon, although a couple of years ago, we talked about moving out to be with Mom in Nevada, but then I decided that it's better to maintain a long-distance relationship with my mother.
omg! cheers to finding your monitor and not needing to replace it!
even if work is busy, perhaps you can set a limit for yourself. I may not understand as i'm not in your workplace...but, i was thinking to force a 2-day (or three) leave by 5:30 limit...and the rest of the days you work till the time you see fit...i think you should try to give yourself some peace in knowing that some days you will go home "on time"
i agree with you - those colder, dank days are not the days to spend winterizing...wait for sunny days if you have that opportunity to wait.
also, enjoy the gym :) i'm guessing you always wear your mask right?
i give you so much credit for being able to work throughout the quarantine/covid. although many are unemployed, more are employed and i'm glad you are in that majority.
You know, I AM grateful that I'm employed during these uncertain times, BUT what I don't like is seeing behavior in buyers, sellers, lenders, and agents that just ISN'T rational. I don't like deals of desperation. I don't like deals where the buyer isn't really qualified but the lender is trying to push the loan through. I don't like deals where the closing is rushed too fast because the lender is ready at the last minute and wants to push to close on time.
I'll write more about masks and the gym today.
Sadly, I did not do weights last night either. I had forgotten, as I was distracted by other events, and when I had stepped out for a night walk, I remembered the weights. So I may wait until the weekend.
I did not make it to the gym either. Daughter went out with her boyfriend, and again, I was distracted by other events, so I just fell into old, comfortable habits of riding my bike at home and then going for a walk outside around the neighborhood.
So what distracted me?
What most distracted me was that husband did not go shopping and sent daughter instead for 1 item that I really didn't need (and the store did not have) instead of going HIMSELF and getting the coffee that I desperately need. So there is just enough coffee for me this morning, thank goodness. He said he could go without until he gets up off his butt and goes shopping like he said he would.
However, more concerning (but not as distracting) was that we learned at 4:45p that the Boss is having heart problem again. He had a heart attack about a year ago. Well Tuesday night, without telling anyone that this happened, he was in the ER until 2am with symptoms again and a blood pressure of 250 over something.
His daughter, the physical therapist downstairs, comes up to the office at around 11a with her blood pressure cuff, they shut the door, 20 minutes later, she leaves and then this doctor's appointment shows up on the calendar.
Boss said he expected to come back over the appointment, but he did not return. So... we're just kind of left wondering what will happen today.
Finally, the plumber is coming early today to fix our kitchen sink, which has been unusable since Friday evening. So order to the universe will be restored today, or at least the beginning of it.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!
This site does have a lot of editing problems, but it behaved for me again today. Doubt it will again tomorrow.
I love coffee and order beans online, enough to last a year when they have their annual sale. Get several 5 pd bags. Used to freeze it, but roasting company said fine for up to a year in the unopened sealed bags.
gosh...your boss is older, too. i think his health problems are unreliable for you to have to deal with...meaning, you never know what's gonna happen with him...
...thank gosh you have para experience. i certainly think you can/will find another job if need be. you are skilled and have the experience to back it up....that's what these firms want. ...then again, your boss just hired a new attorney, so, he must believe this office of his is continuing for the next 5 years or so....
lastly, i'm glad your sick is getting fixed. i guess you'll be getting coffee after work.
I'm not sure I would want to work in another law firm.
Happy Wednesday.... I'm not a fan of Wednesdays, but I saw something on Facebook today that calls it Wellness Wednesdays, and it relates to self-care. I like that so much more than any other reference to Wednesdays that I've heard of. Rather than the hardest day to get through, this is a day of self-care.
Last night, I picked up those dumbbells to train back muscles, and after 10 reps of rows, I just didn't have it in me, so I took the day off. I'm glad I did because I did a little searching online and found 3 more exercises that I can do for Back Day. So my goal is to lift weights for Back Day tonight, unless I end up going to the gym. Husband has something with his online gaming group tonight so perhaps I will venture out. We'll see.
I read more of the Lewis & Clark book last night, until I realized that the section I want to read - as they approach Montana - is what I should be spending my time reading. So I've marked the chapter to start on tonight. To answer Horn's question, I was motivated to read this book after our visit with Son in Montana. I saw signs for the Lewis & Clark Trail, and as we drove through mountains, I wondered what it was like for those who came first. These are abridged diary entries from the L & C expedition team, mostly Lewis' writings.
Yesterday, I made a conscious effort to eat less. My breakfast was less, my lunch was less, my dinner... well, I had 2 helpings of green salad, but the Italian beef sandwich was less. I experienced some discomfort (hunger) during the day, but I told myself that this is part of losing weight. This is true. It's not a pleasant feeling. It is particularly unpleasant to be hungry - even a little - and stressed out at work.
If I want to lose weight, I have to eat less. Whatever I have been doing in the recent past, my body has adjusted to maintenance. So time to change it up. That's another reason why I want to learn the gym machines: time to change it up.
Finally, I did not find my monitor. So it is what it is. It is of no expense to me, as it was free. Still, I don't like the feeling of not having everythig in in its place, and I feel pangs of its missing from time to time throughout the day.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!
You are nearly to goal weight which typically means your body is trying hard to hold on and not lose. Seems the last 5 lbs is always the hardest.
next, because i've been skipping weights a bit much, i had to switch today to a lower weight on my chest press using dumbells! ugh! so, i will have to try to be more regular and do my 3x a week sessions!
sounds like an intriguing part...maybe one day when i'm not focused on current readings, i'll pick up the L&C book!
I gotta agree that you DO have to eat less to lose weight. but, not veggies. remember them at your meals...i have pretty much fogotten them during COVID (but DO have them 1x a day at least)...but they will help me always...and when i want to indulge, like i did for lunch, i did it on veggies.
lately, with veggies, i'm getting some cravings for cooked ones. I may need to do more experimenting in the kitchen ;)
I lost a monitor that I wear. I realized this last night when I went to charge it. (Not my Fitbit, but something else.) It is held in my pocket with a magnetic holder, and when I reached into my pocket at night, it was gone. Sometimes it sticks to the car or to anything else that is metal, so I looked for it a bit, but I think I either lost it at work or on one of my long walks yesterday. So I'm going into work early -- HATE THIS -- to look for the monitor. Drat.
I met all of yesterday's goals. I use dumbbells and a barbell. The shoulder work is 3 pounds only, because otherwise, it really starts to hurt. So I do a lot of sets with light weights. As I get older, I am definitely more aware of the joint pain I'm experiencing. I hope that learning how to use the weight machines at the gym will help - that is, that they will allow me to work harder with less soreness.
I like having a list of goals, but no time for that right now. I do hope to read the Lewis & Clark book tonight. I did not, last night.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!
Good for you meetng all your goals. I still have to be careful of my right shoulder that I injured using extra heavy dummbells a few years ago.
Will staff show you how to use the resistance machines at the gym? They are great in combination with dumbells.
But actually, I've been thinking about investing in a physical trainer, to change things up.
ha! i use both dumbells and a barbell too. I use the barbell on leg days - weighted squats with the barbell resting over my shoulders.
yes - the weight machines should def be a big help to you doing more exercises with less strain...i do think so!
I got up when my alarm went off, because I was having strange dreams. Therefore, I had enough time to go for a morning walk, but then, did not have time to write here. It was so beautiful this morning, I could not resist the walk.
I went for a longer walk at lunchtime too, but it rained. My pants got wet, my jacket kept me dry - the parts that covered me, that is - and it was a lovely walk.
However, I have nothing this evening to look forward to.
Yesterday's Goals:
you got a lot done yesterday! good idea with weights....it's something to keep it short and sweet - one body part per day.
My hips are hurting this morning. I'm trying not to let the pain get me crabby about the sink full of dirty dishes left for me this morning, by other family members. To make matters worse, the kitchen faucet is not working properly, so rinsing off dishes for the dishwasher, or washing by hand is nearly impossible.
The weather is noticibly cooler here today, and the sky is gray and cloudy. My daughter has plans with her boyfriend today, so no nature walk with her, no gym weight training session with her either. You know, I'm OK with that. It is what it is, so I'm not at all stressed out by her lack of time with/for me. I had no expectations, actually, so I've made plans/goals of my own for today.
Lest you think I'm ridiculous or paranoid about my neighbors, when I went for an outdoor walk yesterday, I had another encounter with the Snooty Neighbor. Or should I say, "non-encounter" because she went totally out of her way to avoid crossing my path, and tried to make it look like she was walking another route. But as I turned a corner, I caught her out of the corner of my eye, and saw her backtrack her route and resume her way on the original path. So it's not just COVID avoidance; this was personal avoidance.
Came home and told husband about it, and he was just astonished. He said, some people just need to get over themselves. Yup. Actually, she did me a favor because I did not want to cross paths with her either.
Grannieannie's entry made me notice that there are exactly 3 weeks left until November. AND November starts on a Sunday, which is helpful for goal setting. Unfortunately, American Thanksgiving is at the end, to blow any progress to pieces. Also, I'm going to visit my family, so basically, not much exercise. Well, still that's 3 weeks in October and 3 weeks in November to make some real progress!!!
Today's Goals:
Not really a goal, but I'd like to go to Walmart to pick up coffee and Halloween candy. I might wait until Monday and go on my lunch hour, since it's supposed to be a rainy day.
Yesterday's Goals Re-Cap:
We don't do Thanksgiving here although we have a couple of times with some other American expats.
Ignore snooty neighbours - not worth your time.
We rewatched a documentary on Lewis & Clark not long ago.
sounds like your neighbors are a$$holes.
but when you visit family, can't you all decide to, possibly, "relax" for some of the time as well as get at least half hour walks in together? maybe after dinner if need be? not everyone likes to go out and walk, that's for sure...i can only get my parents in on a walk mostly if my sister is not there with her baby (when she goes back to the city) and then my parents have more energy and freedom to both go for a walk....
Remembered to weigh-in... Glad to see the lower number, of course, but I think this is where I was at the end of September. It's like Cicyphus, pushing the rock up the hill, only to have it slide down again, to push back up again, for eternity... So what I need to do is figure out how to get over the hump on the hill. I know I can do that if I buckle down. I need a plan with specifics.
It is very humd here today, for some reason, which makes the house feel warmer than it really is. I have the doors and windows open. At least I can still hang the laundry outside to dry, so that's a good thing. My husband hasn't complained about his pain - which is usually worse when it's humid out. I was going to do weights last night, but the weather was so moderate that I took a walk outside. I can do weights today, and there will be plenty of time for that this winter. The pleasant evenings walks must be done while they are still available.
As you may recall, I volunteer at a legal clinic that used to meet once a month, before COVID. The last clinic we had was in January, because too many volunteers were sick for February's clinic, and then came the shut-down. Well, they want us to get re-started with our clinic, but virtually, or hybrid option, where the lawyer(s) stay safe and sound at home, but the staff put ourselves at risk by meeting in person. Anyway, there is an hour-long (UGH!!!!) video to watch on what the new procedures woule be, and I said I would watch that this weekend-- NOT realizing it was an hour long! So that's on my list to do.
Goals:
I can't vote early in person at the village hall until October 19th. So this will not be on my list until then. I do not want to go to the county building to vote early, as it's much easier to vote at the village hall.
I mentioned this in one of my comments earlier, but I was able to overcome my issue with my neighbors and went for a morning walk on Thursday, before I left for work - just to prove to myself that I could do it (and plus, to get a really good step count for the day, lol). And I did it!
Last thing I want to mention is something nice that I did for myself. Down the block from where I live, there is a house that has a "Little Library", which is a dropbox for a free book exchange. You borrow a book and return it, or exchange a book for a book. So I overcame my shyness about this, and exchanged 3 books of my daughter's for a children's book of "Christmas Stories". This is not your usual Santa, Rudolph stories, but stories I had never heard of. It's a very easy read, with large print and each facing page has an illustration. I am looking forward to reading this at night, before bed, as we get closer to Christmas.
Progress as of today: 45 lbs lost so far, only 6.5 lbs to go!
good luck with the reopening of the clinic....i vouch that masks (probably) help a lot as long as everyone wears them ...correctly!
I'm really glad you can do the walk and pay no mind, mostly, to your neighbors - you have to be able to live your life and be happy.
the book you got sounds like its going to make you smile before bed!!
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OMG so much work stress! So sorry. It's clearly your bosses fault, not yours.
I suppose at the end of the day, it's his fault, but I still feel partially responsible for this.
That's the thing about working in this field. There's not much room for mistakes... and real estate is one of the more forgiving fields in the legal world.
Horn_of_plenty on 10/21/2020:
Yeah, little things (salad dressing re - your below entry) can do it. I was making a meal that was supposed to include blue cheese dressing for the salad and i ended up not including it because i'm not a big cheese/sauce person. i looked at the calories of each package: 200 cal! that's a lot for just dressing. I find my olive oil works well these days. i used to also use vinegar more often with it, but, i tend to break out when i include too much vinegar/kombucha/acids in my diet....oh ok, too much about that...
Concerning the "fire your firm" situation of the client, i'm reading now about negotiation...and one important thing i'd say involving "disputes" is creativity and an openness to look for how both sides could still make out well....?....it's developing an emotionally sound reaction to problems so that you can logically see if there's a way to mitigate without causing a total dissolvement of a relationship with a client? i'm sure you try this already with many clients...to create a feeling of a "win win" situation where both your company and the clients ending up fairing well...
OK - i've read your entry to the end now: you cannot feel guilty because you are doing your job as well as YOU CAN. that is it....
you can only do your very best. if you've done that, you need to seek solace and comfort in yourself from the fact you are working your best.
in terms of the upset clients, possibly repeat the fact that you understand their feelings / situation that is causing them to be upset and that you will do everything you can to make sure your boss is aware and deals with the matter at his earliest convenience. you can, i think?, just try to give these clients an ear, try not to interrupt them if they are upset on the phone, try to be comforting and understanding and on their side, per se....that's just my opinion, i'm not exactly sure how it would work out, but that's my feeling.