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Donkey - Thursday Feb 03, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

What is it that Happy says?  Inch by inch?  That's kind of how I feel like this week has gone.  Checking off really hard "to do" things off of my list. 

  • Make Endo appointment --  CHECK:  April 14th, Husband ended up making the appointment for me.  Chicken butt donkey.
  • Snow storm -  CHECK
  • Husband's PT evaluation - CHECK:  3.5 freakin' hours.  So boring for me, but at least I wasn't at work.
  • Baby Kitty vet appointment - severe constipation again.  Hopefully she can get in today or tomorrow for, once again, multiple enemas.
  • Get furniture from MIL's apartment for Daughter - might happen today. This is up to Husband & Daughter.  Good luck.

The PT evaluation was longer than I had thought/hoped, and it was hard on Husband.  I probably should have just dropped him off, but I stayed the whole 3.5 hours.  I'm proud to say though that I only missed 2 hours of steps according to my FitBit.  So on top of everything that he has to deal with, health-wise, the PT told him that his spine is starting to curve to the right.  Great.

I sat in the small lobby and I noticed that the receptionist/medical secretary pretty much sits all day.  Whoa, I thought that *I* had a sedintary, sitting job.  Oh  my goodness, my job is active in comparison to hers.  See, this is what I'm talking about.  Don't complain about what you have because it could be much worse.  My current job isn't perfect, but it's probably better than many other jobs.

Speaking of jobs, I did a good thing yesterday at work, by leading Associate Attorney to a top-producing and well-respected realtor. I did this by bringing something to his attention, saying to him, This is an opportunity, and I think you should take it, if you want it.  He acted on my recommendation immediately!  In fact, so immediately that it surprised me. He thanked me afterwards and called me Wonder Woman.  LOL...  IDK, with all the changes that are happening, and perhaps past behaviors or negative opinions that I've had or voiced ---- I can't change the past, but I'm trying to do kinder things moving forward, to try to make it right.

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/03/2022:
Really glad that your appointment was made. Agreed...at least you weren't at work and happy that hubby's appointment showed progress...I'm sure he was glad that you stayed and waited for him........funny how the grass always looks greener on the other side.........Good vibes initiated by you at work!!!!! Good for YOU!!!!

Donkey on 02/04/2022:
Husband's appointment actually showed more deformation of the spine. So not only is it completely fused together but now curving to the right. He will look like Hunchback of Notre Dame in the future. It also worried me that he had so much swelling in his legs after a few hours of light movement. This appointment was for his disability hearing. He has a doctor's appointment coming up in a week or 2.

I'll write a little more about "vibes" at work - I don't like to dwell on it too much - but yes, you get it. I'm trying to generate some good vibes at work! We definitely need more of that, for sure.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2022:
Below is a SOLID GOAL for monthly steps. sounds like a real challenge that you can MASTER!

like you here, my week has been really rocky too. lots of frustration with work people and just having a really hard time with communicating with them / them communicating effectively to me as well. not pleased. i'm only talking about the females. ugh! just UGH! i did try with the older one, but yesterday i think she forgot what was in her drawer; documents in needed; and instead of just scanning them; as i didn't know she had them bc she didn't tell me; i had to open all the emails she forwarded to me; around 45; which she fowarded from this guy who didn't name the emails or the files...so it took so long; 2 HOURS; because i had to keep opening the emails, saving the files named right; deleting emails (and every email looked exactly the same)...horrible. wrote the guy back and copied her explaining the emails need to be with subject date and what he's emailing about....and then she tells me she had those 45 pages in her desk drawer....she should have mentioned that to me yesterday. and she's annoyed at me for saying i had extra work saving them!? she should realize she didn't tell me yesterday!? ugh. and then the younger woman; i do not trust her much anymore.

glad to hear you made your endo appt. glad your snow was powdery; that's what we had last time. now we're getting an ice storm tomorrow into Saturday. yuck!

at my job too; i do sit a TON; but, i can get up to use the bathroom often; drink a lot; so get up to fill water in cup...and i do...i also try to get up here and there, unlike if i had a job, say, as a cashier, where you must stay in the same place for a more determined period of time.

sounds like a good interraction between you and associate attorney.

i am still getting along quite well with the men, except for the angry one; but the women i am sick of. like, totally 100% had enough of both of their personalities. and the older one especially; bc she is just so "butch" when she thinks someone is hurting her; she doesn't speak gently to me; she always thinks i'm trying to bring her down which isn't the case. she comes across harsh and i hate talking to her because she doesn't really know she's doing it and it is the most annoying thing to have to calm myself and not react to her harsh voice / thoughts that i am trying to bring her down. it is so annoying. as for 24yo, i do not trust her much anymore; so just because of that; i am annoyed by her and the little things i see about her that rub me the wrong way everyday.

Donkey on 02/04/2022:
I think between COVID and winter, everyone is just really close to the edge of being completely stressed out. I think even we all here, in spite of having different lifestyles (work, work from home, retired, etc.) are feeling this.

I can relate to the extra work. Oh my, yesterday New Gal inadvertently caused me so much anxiety. I was seriously having a very hard time coping with it. Unfortunately, no one can correct her without being accused of yelling or being mean, so there's nothing I can do.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2022:
are they thinking to give your hubby a back brace?

Donkey on 02/04/2022:
I don't think so, but perhaps. This curvature was a big surprise to both of us. I know that there is a belt that he can order that helps relieve the pull of gravity on his back. I've hesitated to pursue this because he is/was trying to lose weight, so the size of the belt would change depending on his size. The belt isn't meant to be worn all day, though. Just in short spurts for temporary relief.

I am hoping maybe more PT would be prescribed. We'll see.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2022:
are there any cat supplements that soften the stool? i use a tube of a gel that you give a specific amount to your pet; based on weight...i'll show you:


Donkey on 02/04/2022:
Yes! She did not like the one that was previously prescribed to her, so we have another one to try, that "cats really love". I remain skeptical about THAT, but it's gotta be better than the previous one, that she couldn't keep down.

Also, we're going to try a prescribed high fiber food for her. I think she's going to have to go back in today, for another flush, though, since she didn't have a BM last night, as the doctor had hoped.

Donkey - Wednesday Feb 02, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

The snow did not miss us after all.  I've already been out to shovel and it's still snowing.  I'm quite lucky that it's the light fluffy stuff, so *I* am able to shovel it.  Otherwise, I would need help.  A lot of help.  My neighbor who shoveled at 5:30am is out there again shoveling (2 hours later).  I won't have time to shovel again.  Oh how I dread the drive to work.  My car (Prius) does not handle well in snow AT ALL.

Husband will pick me up at work at 10:30am to drive together to his functional capacity test at the physical therapist office.  I will bring a protein shake and a book, just in case the appointment ends up being 3-4 hours long. 

Eating yesterday went OK.  I had a few chocolate covered peanuts - maybe 10?  And a packet of roasted pecans, which were also seasoned and sugared.  However, dinner was on the lighter side.  I feel that it all evened out.

Today was supposed to be leg day, but instead, I used that time to shovel.  I think tomorrow will be leg day.

Oh, I meant to mention that I did go out to the freezer to see if I had any frozen banana slices and I DO -- but I also discovered the sour cream Bundt cake that Husband bought around Christmas (for some unknown reason).  I knew we weren't going to eat it, so I froze it right away.  And now it's there.  Sitting there.  Innocently....

Also, I want to clarify that the 300,000 step goal is for this month.  If I get 10,000 steps in 30 days, I should be able to reach the goal.  The problem is that February has 28 days, so I'll have to hustle a little bit more, but I usually get over 10,000 Garmin steps (not FitBit steps, not fake "biking" steps) a day anyway. Yes, I have to push myself to do so, but if I make that mark, then I should be able to reach this goal.

OK, better get ready for work, to give myself extra driving time... 

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/02/2022:
Just put the device in an ankle strap and get fake steps. That’s how I got up to 30K some days on the old bike. Can’t do on the new one though. Still challenged by Level One.

Seems like you have a lot more self control than I do on the nuts. I’d polish them off in a few days. Saw some milk and dark chocolate ones in the aldi ad. Want to get more granola bars and see if they have whole coffee beans. Guy in a fish forum who lives in Germany where Aldi’s was established told me they have fresh beans, cheap. I’m fussy about grinding fresh beans every morning & doubt their beans are as good as mine, but certainly willing to try.

I wouldn’t want to be gone 12 hours a day either. Exhausting!

Donkey on 02/03/2022:
I still wear the FitBit on my ankle for "fake" bike steps. Oh yes, I know I have 2 ankles, so the Garmin could go on the other one, but.... I dunno. For some reason, I feel differently about the Garmin (and how I utilize it).

bearcountrygg on 02/02/2022:
I think the days where you have treats are just fine........I find for myself that those kinds of days can be a problem only if I let it be.......it can go either way....either start a food fit with it...or stop and ask yourself if you are really hungry or if you just want to eat that......( after having some goodies)...and then go on and maybe have slight smaller servings at the next meal ..........Managing food is really not all that difficult.....once I figured out that I can have everything...just not all at once....and not in huge quantities......and if I slip up and let it control me instead of me controlling it....then.....i pass it off as a fun day but the next day I need to eat plenty of healthier choices and get back to making healthier choices........I'm finding that too often on the days when I eat more of the dessert or salty things...I don't feel as good......that gets to be a huge turnoff quickly for me.

Donkey on 02/03/2022:
Hmm, I hadn't thought about the sweets in that way. I guess that's what I'm doing lately, having just a little bit (relatively speaking) rather than a food fit.

I am still struggling with managing food, BUT I do realize and acknowledge that I've improved somewhat in limiting food fits.

I think where the difficulty is, is in balancing the activity level with the food intake. That and stress management.

horn_of_plenty on 02/03/2022:
will come back to reply, recently very distracted off line with all different little things going on like helping someone get connected and a job interview for them.

Donkey on 02/03/2022:
No worries - I completely understand. How exciting to help someone make those connections for a job hunt!

Donkey - Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

Happy February!!!!  It's a new month, but I have no goals for myself.  Actually I do:

  • Daily push-ups (3 sets of 20, modified or "girl" style because of my back issues)
  • 300K steps - signed up through my Garmin.

I chickened out of calling the Endo doctor yesterday.  I'm going to need some help with this.

I was so fed up with work yesterday.  So I came home crabby.  I kept trying to get out of the "crabby" mood, but then would slip back into it.  I'm not sure why I was crabby. I know I felt tired.  It was kind of a slow day.  But most everyone that usually annoys me was either gone or behaving.  

I've decided to sign up for another 20-class ticket with Zoom yoga.  However, I might try a month of classes at a studio that is on my way home from work, to see how that works.  Evening classes are at 5:30p and 7pm.  So if I have to stay late, that's not really going to work well.  On the other hand, it might help me from staying late too many days.  IDK we'll see...

Eating was OK yesterday.  However, I had half a protein shake after yoga, for no apparent reason other than wanting something sweet and wanting some energy to finish up my chores for the day.

Learned last night that Daughter is making plans to move out this year.  We'll see if it happens, and if it does, she has my blessing (although I know she doesn't need it).  Oh my.... 

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 02/01/2022:
How are you liking the Garmin? Is there a timeframe for the 300K steps.

Can your husband make the appointment? Or can you do it at their website or something like MyChart. I canceled the 1/28 Routine pcp on there & rescheduled for late May. Such a joke. But he won’t continue to refill RXs unless I go in.

Would staying late be less of an issue as the days get longer? I hate night driving

Donkey on 02/02/2022:
I like the Garmin! I feel that I don't use it to its full capacity, but I'm still learning things about it. And it does a good job tracking what I do track.

In fact, I'm still wearing my Fitbit at night, and I've found that the sleep scores are VERY close. That is to say, the Garmin and the FitBit usually give a very similar sleep score. That's important to me.

Staying late at work would cause me to miss the 5:30pm yoga class. And I don't want to away from home taking the 7pm class. I'd be gone from 8:30am-8:30pm. That's too much for me.

bearcountrygg on 02/01/2022:
What a change you are in for when the last bird leaves the nest......Of course by the time they are old enough and ready to leave they really have been taking are of themselves any way.....but it is interesting....Both sons moved out at almost the same time...and got apartments and then we had two weddings just a couple of months apart....but I will say one thing......even though they were grown...I still listened for their cars to pull into the driveway....there was still that mama bear watching out and listening. Once they were both settled in their apartments.....I slept better. BUT...This month they turn 55 and 53 and I'm still worrying about them....it truly never ends....it's just that now I have no idea what they are doing at all......so now I love every phone call they make because I know they are ok. Then you 2 will have the entire house to yourselves.....Totally new and different...and kind of fun for a change.

Donkey on 02/02/2022:
I know... it will be different. I'm not dreading it - yet. It's just another chapter in life.

It made me smile/laugh when I read that you still worry about your 50-yr old sons, because I wonder if my mom worries about me. I don't think so, not quite so much, as we're so different, and don't get along beyond a superficial level.

legcramps on 02/01/2022:
Is the 300K steps a goal for the year?

Donkey on 02/02/2022:
It's for the month of February, which I think is doable, although, because it's a short month, I may have to push myself a little bit.

10,000 steps per day * 30 days per month = 300,000 steps in a month. And I usually do more than 10,000

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2022:
Regarding annoying people at work, there is one guy that is so loud and luckily I don’t deal with him much. He is the highest on the totem pole in regards to the over 50 men in the field he is in charge of and his office is located in our trailer. He’s the link between field and office for all of us. He was out on Covid and his wife also is still recovering with complications - so he’s frustrated and he literally yelled at EVERYONE who spoke to him today ! Then, he wouldn’t stop speaking his mind for over 15 min to these other two field guys that came in…. I had to listen to his booming voice and actually said “shut up” although it was more to myself and quietly!

Donkey on 02/02/2022:
I've so been there. Sounds like Queen Bee a LOT. I've done the "shut up" thing too. Very quietly, of course...

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2022:
Daughter has a bf still right ? To move in together ?

I think yoga in studio on was home sounds wonderful

Donkey on 02/02/2022:
Yes, to move in with the boyfriend, once the lease has to be renewed. Roommate has a girlfriend and wants to travel.

Donkey - Monday Jan 31, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

When my 1st alarm went off this morning, I thought it was Sunday.  Oh my...  It's hard to get started when you think you have more time and less stress.  However, I did have an awesome bike ride this morning!

I had mentioned yesterday wanting to work on a crossword puzzle.  Actually, it's a jigsaw puzzle that I'm working on -- started it several weekends ago. It's been slow-going, because I'm doing it alone.  Anyway, I did make some progress yesterday, but not as much as I wanted to.  Since there is no football this next weekend, I will have more time.  I'm really looking forward to doing that this.  It's nice to have something to look forward to.

Also, there is Veterans Chair Yoga on Friday.  Husband has already decided that we will pick up deli sandwiches to have for dinner afterwards.  Nice!  So that's something else to look forward to!

The weather forecast has changed, and the "big storm" that we were supposed to get Tuesday into Wednesday now looks more like Wednesday afternoon into Thursday.  AND it might stay to the south of us altogether.  I so hope so.  I have to drive my Husband up to a neighboring town, that I'm not very good at navigating, to a strange physical therapy office for a functional capacity evaluation.  This is to verify that he's still disabled and hasn't improved.  So it's a stressful drive to a stressful appointment with what would have been stressful weather.  But if we can get rid of the bad weather (until after the appointment), I will be able to concentrate more on remaining calm for the drive and appointment.  So I am hoping that the weather people are right this time.

Speaking of appointments, I do need to try to schedule an endocrinologist appointment for myself.  Wow, I had totally forgotten about that.  (Bleah)

Eating yesterday went well, I think.  Does it ever get easier?

Also, I'm wondering what it would take for me to let go of the weigh-ins.  

Trying not to let stress overtake me this week.  I'm already feeling it creep up my shoulders and neck.  At least there's yoga tonight.  Like Happy says, inch by inch.  One step at a time...

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/31/2022:
I know that shoulders up against the ears feeling......still doing it today. I hope that the weather cooperates for your trip to the appointment.....Food I'm suspecting will always be right there taunting me and probably most people that ever disliked their weight...........yes....get that endro visit going...I'm sure the dr will be able to answer questions that you may have..........the thyroid basically involves every single part of the body....including metabolism.......the answers you get there may be just what you need.

Donkey on 02/01/2022:
Something I found interesting is that all of these endocrinologists' offices mention diabetes treatment as part of their practice. I guess that makes sense, since the pancreas is a gland.... or is it? I thought it was an organ, not a gland.

legcramps on 01/31/2022:
Habits we've held onto for a long time are not easy to break, but if you feel it's defeating a purpose or demotivating, it's so helpful to at least give the letting go of the weigh-ins a try.

I weight myself maybe every few months, and i'll be honest - I can estimate very closely where I am, so it's not like i'm really giving anything up. It's just that i'd rather FEEL the changes in my body than have a scale reinforce something I already know. Just unnecessary!

Donkey on 02/01/2022:
Good point! In fact, I just said something very similar to Bear today: that feeling good is better than weighing in.

I dunno, I gotta think more about letting go of the scale before I actually do it. Right now, I still feel like there's goals to meet.

Jacky82020 on 01/31/2022:
Yep, don’t delay the endo appointment. Some of those specialists are really booked and new patients wait months. Maybe that’s a good thing, meaning your issue isn’t urgent. They do triage cases as my PCP’s office always says.

Donkey on 02/01/2022:
I know, I know, I know. I talked myself out of calling twice yesterday. I *need* to make this appointment.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/31/2022:
congrats on being productive in the morning! I was also productive, meaning i got in a shower then instead of the night before lol.

but seriously, i will saw that when i take a 10-15 min walk before work, or commmute to work, or exercise at home before work, i am much more alert when i get to work. these days, because i want to have breakfast/coffee at work; i am feeling really sleepy for the first hour i am at work...not sure i want to make any changes.

like you, i am looking forward to a nice quiet weekend next weekend. with solo activities at home.

Donkey on 02/01/2022:
Funny you should mention this, because I often feel more awake after yoga. That is to say, I relax deeply and get kind of sleepy during class, but as I come out of the class, I sometimes feel more energetic -- like last night.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/31/2022:
Friday sounds wonderful! maybe there's soup you can have with the sandwiches! two fun things to look forward to!

i can understand the lack of pleasure in scheduling the endo appt. who knows, maybe you will learn of something to ease your situation

Donkey on 02/01/2022:
I'm not sure if yoga will happen... The past 2 months, Husband canceled because of his level of pain or discomfort. :-(

Donkey - Sunday Jan 30, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

Late entry today!  I stayed up too late (for me) last night, so I got up later than usual this morning.  I still wanted to make it to the gym as early as I could, which is why I did not write here before leaving.  Besides, I didn't have much to say before going to the gym.

The gym was not too crowded, but there was a couple working on the lower body weight machines that I would just as well avoid, so I only did 3 out of the 5 machines I usually do, because I didn't want to go back to the area they were working in.  The man looks like Mr. Clean with 30+ years on him than the cartoon.  I'm sitting there quietly with my mask on, doing leg presses, and he says really loudly, "I'm not afraid of COVID.  Nah, I'm afraid of her (his girlfriend? Me with the mask?  I didn't care) but I'm not afraid of COVID. Ha ha ha!" 

Well, maybe YOU aren't, Mister, and I'm not so much either, but I'm very afraid for my husband and people I work with (Mistakes Girl, the Boss' wife) who might not have strong immune systems!!

And his girlfriend - she drives me nuts.  Her type always does.  Full face of make-up -- to go workout at the gym:  Foundation, powder, blush, eyebrown pencil, eyeliner & mascara for miles on end... What???

So I went and hopped on a recumbant (seated) elliptical machine for an extra 10 minutes of cario and then it REALLY started getting crowded -- all these families coming in with little kids.  Time to go!

I was a little upset with myself, because I thought I had turned on my Garmin tracker to log in the first elliptical workout (20 minutes) I did, before the obnoxious couple, but I guess I didn't, because I went to stop the timer and it hadn't been running.  Oh well, the steps still count, and that's important (to me) in itself. 


Came home to a huge cat mess that, unbeknownst to me, happened last night.  Apparently, according to Husband, Baby Kitty got stuck in the litter box, and couldn't get out.  All of the cats got very upset with her, and she ended up tipping the box over as she tried to get out.  Her rear legs don't work right, since she had that fungal infection last year.  So that was a large undertaking.  After that, I had a nice lunch with my Husband.  I need to water my plants, and I hope to work on the crossword puzzle a little bit before football starts.  Unlike last weekend, I think both football games today are going to be big blow-outs and very lopsided.  Low-scoring and lopsided games aren't much fun to watch but I still will.


The snow storm that has been predicted for Tuesday & Wednesday this week is now on for only Wednesday.  Tuesday will be a warm-up, with rain, and then transition to snow overnight.  Oh, I'm really hoping that the snow can wait until Wednesday evening...  I have an "errand" to run on Wednesday that is already stressful enough without having to add a snow storm to.  And I'm an extremely nervous driver, even under the best conditions.  Ugh...

Monday (tomorrow) night is my last Zoom yoga class on my ticket.  I've been thinking a lot, actually, about the next step in my yoga journey, some of which I have discussed here, but other ideas or thoughts (perspectives) that I hadn't considered.  I will say this though:  the Zoom yoga I'm doing now is pretty much the cheapest there is, for a live session, and since it's just me, it's like I get my own private session, where I can ask to work on whatever area I'd like to work on.  And that's super nice! :-)

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/30/2022:
Oh boy...nothing like a big mouth bore at the gym thinking everyone wants to hear him yap....sounds like they go there to be seen..... I've been wondering how your Baby Kitty was doing....has she improved any? I see she is still having walking problems.....but it sounds like she is getting around even with that problem. I also will continue to wear masks......I just feel better wearing them.......There seem to be bullies everywhere.

Donkey on 01/31/2022:
Baby Kitty has pretty much plateaued with her recovery, and seems to be backsliding a little bit. This chronic constipation is a new chapter. Her back legs will never be the same. No more jumping up onto surfaces that are more than 2-3 feet off the ground -- because she uses her upper body to pull herself up. She is able to get around (on her level), though. I'm glad we're her family. I think others would have given up on her a long time ago.

Maria7 on 01/30/2022:
Wow...You did well at the gym. Ignore comments at the gym, get your work done and out fast. Smile.

Donkey on 01/31/2022:
Yes, ma'am, absolutely correct. :-) I won't let anyone's negativity stop me from doing what I need to do for myself.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/30/2022:
seems you and InnerP have beasts and bullies at the gym to deal with! yeah, i wouldn't want to workout near them either...if not just for it to be a hassle. some people it's better to be far away from ;) hahaha. wink wink.

I also do not wear much makeup, hardly ever at the gym - also broke out after from the makeup / sweat combo.

i do hope that next time you go you'll be able to use those machines though!

If you remember to, i'd like an update on the football games. well, just to know if you predicted them as they turned out? blowouts?

what # approx snowstorm is this for you? too many to count?

We may have a third snowstorm come around Friday? no lack of snow this year!

you have a good deal with the "private lesson" zoom.

Donkey on 01/31/2022:
"Beasts and bullies at the gym" - that made me laugh a little, but it's so true. Funny how I don't really have this problem in the cardio section or in classes - just the weights area. Are men like this to other men, too?

But like you said, I just stay far away, keep to myself. I think that's the MAIN reason why I don't venture off into trying new machines. I stick to what I'm comfortable with, to feel safe. Hmm... I'm not sure I like that.

My (temporary) teams won last night and each one was a nail-biter heart attack. So it will be the Cincinnati Bengels vs. LA Rams for the Superbowl. GO BENGELS!!!!

Donkey on 01/31/2022:
I think that this week will be the 3rd snowstorm for this area this winter, but the forecast is changing, and it might miss this area. I hope so. I'll write more about it in today's entry.

Donkey - Saturday Jan 29, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

Frustrated with the scale this morning.  Frustrated with myself. 

Well, the chocolate covered almonds are gone.  Mistakes Girl finished the rest of them. 

TOM is done - or almost done.  This was a really difficult cycle this time.

Husband is coming off of Whole 30 on Monday.  He's lost about 10 pounds.  He usually regains what he took off, when he comes off of Whole 30.  I hope he's able to continue to lose weight this time around.

I still haven't been able to make an appointment with an endocrinologist.  Kept forgetting phone numbers at home.  This is my fault.  Passive procrastination, if you will.   

I won't get to the gym as early as I had hoped, but I'll still make an effort.

I plan to update this entry later.  Righit now, I'm so frustrated with the scale, that I can't seem to put together my thoughts. 


Even though I didn't get to the gym as early as I could have or wanted to, I still got there early enough.  By 9:30am - when I was leaving -  the 2 main parking lots were pretty much full and the gym areas were very crowded.  Very glad to be heading home.

I've turned my thinking around, about the weigh-in.  Even though I gained 2 pounds, I still see this as being in a maintenance phase, and if you will recall, I pledged to myself that my main goal right now is to maintain until the weather turns warmer and more manageable.  So that's OK.

Also, the graph doesn't show it, but when I weighed in on the Ironman scale, it showed that my body fat % is now 28.5%.  I do not claim that this is 100% accurate BUT my stats here show that at one point in my diary, I was at 33% body fat - according to the same scale.  So that's something that has changed for the positive.

When I got home from the gym, I felt the beginnings of a cold sore, which is my body's way of telling me that it's fighting off someting or that its resistance levels are low.  I'm only too happy to lie low for the remainder of the day.  And now that I am done with the gym, I am home, probably to stay for the rest of the day, to rest, relax, laundry, etc.  I'm quite happy about that :-) 

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 01/29/2022:
I know the feeling. Recently, I was 5 pounds heavier. It was my own fault. I KNEW better and still I indulged. Easy to do, Friend. Today is a NEW BEGINNING day! Smile.

Donkey on 01/29/2022:
YES, today is a new beginning, and I refuse to be so negative about things, especially since today is Saturday, and Saturdays are wonderful days.

I did some mental regrouping while I was at the gym, but I also realize that I am truly fighting "something" , which is making me feel more tired. So I will give myself some grace today and think positive.

bearcountrygg on 01/29/2022:
There is a lot of temptation out there.....and of course it's hard to resist. You may want to get that endocrinologist appointment.......any meds or treatment could very well make you feel better. No need to get upset with yourself.....you will do it when you are ready.

Donkey on 01/29/2022:
EXCELLENT point - and that never occurred to me. I was just saying this week, "I don't understand this thyroid problem because I feel fine." Well, maybe I don't feel as fine as I think I do.

I will make the appointment this week, for sure. I promise myself this.

jacky82020 on 01/29/2022:
What’s a Whole 30? 30 day diet?

Donkey on 01/29/2022:
It is a 30-day diet plan, but it's mainly to "reset" ones eating habits, to see if they have an intolerance or allergy/reaction to certain foods. It's great for people with GI problems, like Husband, who don't have clear labels or names for what ails them (e.g. "lactose intolerant") but clearly suffer from digestive problems.

It's not intended for weight-loss, but many do lose weight with it. Once the 30 days are over, he should slowly start to bring back foods that he likes, to see if his system can handle them.

Jacky82020 on 01/29/2022:
Congrats to the husband for sticking with it for 30 days!

Donkey on 01/30/2022:
Right? I'm so proud of him, and I can see the difference. I just hope/wish he could keep the weight off. He tends to regain his losses every time.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2022:
re yesterday and being yelled at; remember that it's her action that is causing you to react to saying it's time to go...remember the paycheck. see if you want to do any research/planning on next job before you leave...

Donkey on 01/30/2022:
I think a big part of me is just sticking around to see what happens when Mistakes Girl leaves. Just for the drama of it, lol...

I have no plans to leave this job until I have something else lined up, whether that's another legal job, Walmart, or something completely different.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/29/2022:
nice job getting to the gym today. sorry about the cold sore. perhaps it it's from the stresses of shoveling snow? or maybe due to it being a harsh time of year and TOM? i laid low all day; sorry to say i cannot continue it tomorrow, LOL!

keep on donkey, i'm glad you feel a bit better tonight and not as frustrated with the scale.

being that it's TOM could also have ccaused you to get annoyed more easily at work this week...

i can relate to what i just wrote; my 24yo coworker was in a baaaaaddddd mood this week, then asked me for a tampon friday...

and boyyyyy is she interesting as of late; as are all my coworkers. may delve into this in my entry, whenever i feel like typing it out. drama, of course! and i didn't think men were dramatic...and truth is, they aren't...but leave it to the women to bring the drama! ha.

Donkey on 01/30/2022:
Hard to say about the cold sore. Thursday (the day of the kindness webinar), I had an awful sinus headache that I took meds for twice. Usually, I just take meds and it goes away. This was a little more persistent.

Coming off of a rough TOM could also be compromising my immunity, EXCEPT that if it's that reason, I usually get the cold sores at the beginning of TOM, not at the end. But could very well be.

New Gal has been dealing with sciatica all week, and I know what that's like. It's awful and dominating. IDK, I didn't take any offense at her statement - I just thought it was funny that she's saying this, in that tone of voice, just as I'm about to learn about bringing kindness to our practice. Does that mean I've gotten used to her? Maybe.

Donkey - Friday Jan 28, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

So I kid you not:  Yesterday, New Gal had screamed at me, "Don't you walk away from me!" just as I was getting ready to start my "Kindness at the Law Firm" webinar.  I'm sitting in this webinar, listening to the speaker say how bringing kindness and understanding (compassion) into a workplace conversation actually brings more productivity to a firm.  I'm sitting there thinking, What if you can't stand that person you're talking to?  OR What if that person you're talking to hates your guts?

Honestly, I didn't take offense at what she had said to me, but retorted, "I thought we were done!" Right?  So, bringing compassion to the situation, I'll say that I think this is just the way she talks.  Also, she's been suffering with sciatica all week, and I know what it's like to be so burdened with that pain that it makes functioning on a civil level all that more difficult.  And further evaluation last night, I realized that I did not initially bring kindness and understanding to the conversation.  Of course, this was before the webinar.  Finally, while I was able to find the solution, I went about it the wrong way, and could have approached the situation in a much better way. 

She and I are very similar in personalities, actually, so we repel each other, as I see it.  I, however, am willing to learn from this situation and try to change. It's good to remain flexible as one gets older, and that isn't just physical flexibility.  On the other hand, maybe I'm just a pushover, and as one commentator at the webinar said, "Don't nice guys finish last?"  Ha ha ha -- so I wasn't the only one sitting there wondering how to make "kindness in the law firm" work.

But it's bullhocky to spend so much energy on worrying about how to approach something or how to handle someone rather than getting the work done and finding solutions.  It's time to go, I just have to decide where I want to land.

Despite this dysfunction and stress, I did well with eating yesterday, although I did have a bit of protein shake after my treadmill walk last night. No weights.

No weights today.  Dinner will be breakfast, which always seems to not satisfy my appetite well.  However, I am resolved to hold tight and not stray off my eating today or tonight, in hopes of having a good weigh-in, in spite of the chocolate covered almond catastrophe earlier this week.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 01/28/2022:
Good of you to display compassion, nice is always best.

How many people work there? Think it’s 25 at Matt’s place in California. It would be unthinkable for them to have a kindness/compassion seminar! Everyone already is!

Donkey on 01/29/2022:
When everyone shows up, we're an office of 8.

bearcountrygg on 01/28/2022:
It is hard when 2 people are clashing....but I usually just avoided the ones that I found offensive and rude......and dealt with them only out of absolute necessity and then exited quickly....There will always be people everywhere that find it hard to get along together...and then there are the ones that are always stirring the pot.....everyone usually figures them out except the ones that are looking for a fight..... One of the main reasons I like to keep to myself.

Donkey on 01/29/2022:
It just strikes me hard from time to time how much it seems to me that we can't stand one another. Not just me and New Gal, but everyone, it seems.

Maria7 on 01/28/2022:
That's good you were able to eat well yesterday. Hope you are having a good day today.

Donkey on 01/29/2022:
I thought I did pretty good on Friday too. There's a special happiness knowing that it's the last workday of the week.

Donkey - Thursday Jan 27, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

Another day, another calorie....   Lost the battle in a major way with the chocolate covered almonds at work yesterday.  Just ALL of the stress REALLY got to me, and I caved.  I think it was the stress, but having the extremely cold weather did not help any either.  Well, the almonds are almost gone.  I had 3 handfuls - and I mean hand FULLs - of the almonds.  If anyone goes into the tin where they are kept, they will say, "Wow, what happened here?"  I should anticipate this from Male Co-Worker.

Despite having the extra calories in me, I took my own advice [that I gave to Horn, that she didn't take (LOL)] and took a break from weights.  So no leg weights last night. I did walk on the treadmill for a little over a mile.  I went to bed very early and lights were out just before 9pm.

I think to preserve my sanity, I really just need to try to keep to myself as much as possible today.  I have a few files that are just so stressful to work on right now, and the work environment has turned negative again.  Why can't we ever get to a point where we can all work well together?  The way I was feeling back in October about the job is now how Mistakes Girl is feeling.  She is being pushed out (?) and New Gal is edging herself into a more dominant position.  And there's nothing that anyone can say or do that will change that.  Even if the Boss was around, which he isn't, he would not make any changes.  We all know this.

And I must remember not to make other people's drama my own.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/27/2022:
Well....look on the bright side...almonds are actually good for you. At least it wasn't cotton candy......

Donkey on 01/28/2022:
This is true. At least it wasn't total destruction.

I do need to work on the stress-eating connection. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.

Maria7 on 01/27/2022:
I agree with BCGG above. Almonds are good for you. Chocolate is, too. Doesn't it have zinc in it?

Donkey on 01/28/2022:
That's a good point about the zinc. I don't know if it's in dark chocolate, but maybe that's what my body was signaling. Makes sense too since I feel like I'm fighting off a sinus thing lately.

Horn_of_plenty on 01/27/2022:
hiya donk!

sorry about your stress eating of the almonds/chocolate. they commenters above have a point ;)

....but onto that, you must have done it not after a meal...you must have been hungry or a really empty stomach.?? because there's NO WAY you would do that after a full lunch right?? remember to fill up on liquids inbetween those handfulls...try to slow your mind/eating down. am i right that you did this really fast and almost without thinking. when you were eating them, you were probably very relaxed at that exact time. try to slow things down, drinking water a bit or sipping your coffee (even a decaf). i can relate to your "binge" as can many people. try to go slower next time...and realize that if you want this type of treat regularly to have it at home, you can get used to it so you aren't as tempted to eat it all because you never have it...this is why i have my treats, to lessen temptations due to not allowing myself to have things. my thoughts are with you, i know it is hard. i still struggle as well time to time.

you were smart to rest. rest is the way to repair. i will be skipping a walk this weekend which would prob be snowed out anyways. need to keep resting.

i like how you wrote about the drama, but you also realize it's not "your drama," like a step back, so it isn't necessarily affecting you - but you observe it....if she's being pushed out, she was going to leave anyways...

Donkey on 01/28/2022:
The almonds were after lunch, but also after my walk in very, very cold weather. So I wasn't stuffed, but I also wasn't hungry.

I have this problem where after lunch or dinner, I want something sweet. In itself, that's not a problem -- I have a piece of dark chocolate after dinner, usually. The REAL problem is that after lunch, it gets really stressful at work.

Yes! Because when I slip up after dinner, it's usually because I'm stressed out about something, either emotionally (e.g. sad, lonely) or physically (e.g. tired or in pain).

Donkey - Wednesday Jan 26, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

Last night, I got caught in some conversations AT work, but after work, so I got home later than I wanted to.  This meant that we finished dinner at 7pm, and I realized that if I had had the Hu$tle webinar, I would have been very rushed to login in on time.  I'll say it again, I'm grateful it will be rescheduled at a later date.  I will plan more accordingly.

Yesterday (Tuesday), I had 6 chocolate covered almonds, 3 in the morning, 3 in the afternoon.  But that was it.  New Gal brought in cookies and stuff to make avocado toast.  The cookies are "healthy bites" and yes, they look very loaded with oats and dried fruits and such -- very hard to resist (for me), but I did.  I just don't need that kind of complication in my life right now.  Also, someone found an extra title company cookie that I'm so tempted to bring home and freeze for later.  (It's wrapped in plastic, so it has been preserved.)  But "later" still means it gets eaten, eventually.  I don't think I need that kind of temptation in my life right now.  I will not bring any of that home with me for later.

I did a little treadmill last night and then worked on my arms (biceps and triceps).  Stayed up too late, but still managed to get up early enough to do some leg weights.  If I am able to get ready for work early enough, I will walk on the treadmill before I leave for work.  

I'm getting busier at work, and I'm not sure that I like it.  I guess it beats having nothing to do.  According to Male Co-Worker, the New Guy is giving more work to New Gal and less to Mistakes Girl, and Mistakes Girl is noticing, too, how things are changing.  It's hard when you realize that you're being downsized or phased out -- I think I was feeling this way in October onward, but I've come to realize that it is what it is, and I get paid regardless, until I don't.  And when I don't, then I'll move on.  I'll be OK.  

I did not feel so inspired to do lower body weights today.  So I did 2 exercises, and tonight, I can do them again -- or if I don't feel like it, then that's OK too.  I'm not pushing myself today, unless it's to push myself AWAY from those dang chocolate covered almonds and "healthy bites" cookies.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/26/2022:
Good job making choices and not caving to things you can easily resist.......

Becca27 on 01/26/2022:
Great choices! Congrats for resisting the office food.

Maria7 on 01/26/2022:
You rationed your treats and that was very wise. I did likewise, today. Just because it is available, doesn't mean we have to take the bait. Smile!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2022:
re below i'm the same way on weeknight obligations. too many causes my mind to be overactive or my body and it tires me out either mentally/physically or a combo. just how i am. not a type of person who can jump from one thing to the other quickly.

your snacks last night only add up to 250 cal or so. not terrible :) def not a binge / high cal intake. you are on a roll.

it's good you can go on your bike whenever that webinar is rescheduled. and you could keep your camera off, if need be, or to face it so only part of you is in there, if need be, perhaps.

someone brought in HUGE muffins, the double type of packaged serving type where eating half would be better than the whole thing. not healthy muffins either, just high sugar and all. same person also brought in huge croissants. there was so many types of muffins (4 types?) and croissants, that i couldn't take it all...as like you did in your day, i felt it was too much to indulge on EVERYTHING so i stuck with partial indulgence.

sometimes, it's not even worth taking a cookie! especially when there's other treats you have to satisfy yourself! there's always another day.

someone today brought in chicken wings. but they are high cal and fried. i had my own lunch, and some other stuff, but resisted the wings because he didn't bring a ton and i had somethng to eat already. so i left the wings for my coworkers. :) lately i accidentally throw out my lunch by eating something available to me at work. today i threw out chicken, it even smelled great, of bbq. it was from my freezer. defrosted really well...oh well!.

like i was saying, this day is done, there will be more food and snacks another day....and same for you!

Donkey - Tuesday Jan 25, 2022
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

I was able to get up early and felt energized.  Had a pretty good workout on the bike, although towards the end, my knee started to ache a little bit.  Also, uterus chimed in, reminding me that it is not happy.  Great.

As is typical in the Chicago area, after a snow, we get bitter cold temperatures.  I woke up to "feels like -12F".  My lunchtime walk will probably be on the shorter side (20 minutes, if I'm lucky) and I anticipate having some treadmill time tonight. 

Last night, before yoga, I got a notice that the "side-hu$tle" webinar has been postponed with a date TBD.  I was *so* relieved to be released from this "obligation" that it actually surprised me.  What does it say when I feel so happy that something, that I volunteered for, gets canceled?  Wow!  So maybe I'm not so interested in a side thing after all.  Or maybe I'm just being inert again.  I even told myself that I could watch the webinar while on the bike or treadmill, so that I wouldn't be sitting for 90 minutes straight.  Still, I'm so glad I don't have this tonight.  When it gets rescheduled, I think I will cancel yoga for that week.  I don't like weeknight obligations, I think.  One is enough.

I did OK with eating yesterday.  I resisted the chocolate covered almonds, but I did have a teaspoon (probably less than a tablespoon) of peanut butter after dinner.  And then about half of protein shake after yoga..  That is in addition to my square of dark chocolate that I have for dessert. 

I'm so glad that I went into work late yesterday.  THAT is why I stay at this job, to have that ability to take such allowances like that.  By the time I left for work, the rush was over, so less traffic, and the main roads had been plowed and salted.  They weren't perfect, but they were definitely manageable for me.  Because of yoga, I could not stay late to make up some of the time.  I might try to do that this time, or maybe I'll just let it go.

Did back, shoulders, and chest (a little bit) weights this morning. I'm already looking forward to working biceps and triceps tonight.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/25/2022:
It's interesting how our subconscious knows...even when we don't acknowledge it..........Maybe some time just doing absolutely nothing is needed. As you said on my post.....self care is so important.

Donkey on 01/26/2022:
I found it odd in myself how strongly I felt about not driving while it was snowing.

Yes, I would say that learning the power of nothing has been my biggest lesson last year into this year. Many many times, it's best not to act, and just wait.

On the other hand, I've missed opportunities because I spent too long waiting. I try not to feel too disappointed in that, rationalizing that "it just wasn't meant to be". But sometimes there have been some regrets.

Maria7 on 01/25/2022:
Glad your day went better yesterday. You did better than I did in resisting chocolates. I had 2 cellas chocolate covered cherries AND sweet potato/raisin pie with coolwhip. I gotta do better today! Hope you have a good day today.

Donkey on 01/26/2022:
Well, Tuesday wasn't the best day. Not a bad day, but just not the best --- oh, I mean as far as eating-wise. Work-wise and life-wise, it was a pretty good day.

Jacky82020 on 01/25/2022:
I will never forget when we visited Chicago in March. So windy & cold. Matt was interviewing for a faculty position at the University of Chicago which he declined. I was game, but he didn’t like the area. My first husband grew up there. He attended the Latin School of Chicago or something like that. Little rich boy. His mom was a prominent psychiatrist. His dad was a drunk, staff photographer for the Chicago Tribune. Interesting people.

Donkey on 01/26/2022:
U of C has usually been sheltered from the rougher Hyde Park neighborhood that surrounds it, but lately, I've been hearing about more crime happening on university grounds.

legcramps on 01/25/2022:
Stay warm! You're doing better than me with resisting the junk food, I need a hard reset or something. I hate winter.

Donkey on 01/26/2022:
I was not so successful on Tuesday, but managed to avoid many obstacles put before me. I know that feeling of needing a "reset" - a HARD reset. That's very hard to do in winter, at least for myself. But I hear ya, for sure.

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