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Donkey - Thursday Mar 29, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

I lost the chocolate war today. But I feel only comfortably full and not stuffed. This may be hormonal or in response to getting sick again, possibly. Well... hopefully I'll have lots of energy for tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

graindart on 03/29/2018:
Just gone done watching some Youtube videos where they're comparing different candies / chocolates. Would really like to devour a couple bags myself.....


graindart on 03/29/2018:
I just read your other entry from yesterday, so now I know about your big chocolate box. If it were me, I'd throw the rest in the garbage can and take it out to the dumpster. But that's because once I get started, I don't stop until it's gone. If I were able to stop halfway through, I'd need to throw the rest away or else I'd finish it later that night or the next day.

I don't like being wasteful and throwing stuff away, but I know my own weaknesses and throwing it away would be the lesser of the evils for me.

Donkey on 03/30/2018:
Fortunately (?), it wasn't the box of chocolate... It started in the afternoon with the office candy dish with 2 dark chocolates, and ended with an entire thick bar of "cacao & coffee" dark chocolate bar which had 475 calories. I had my next treat in line, but then my husband woke up, so I spent time with him instead.


horn_of_plenty on 03/30/2018:
Keep on, Jdonk! I'm glad it wasn't totally overdone. be proud!


bearcountrygg on 03/30/2018:
It called you, you answered and satisfied that chocolate urge....it's ok!



Donkey - Thursday Mar 29, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

I wanted to mention a couple of positive things that happened yesterday...

I felt really good yesterday and had little problem waking up & getting started on my morning workout.  I finished cardio early, so I decided to do a little upper body weight training instead!  Usually I reserve weight training for the evening, but it felt so good to feel healthy again, I could not resist. 

Heard from my/our son yesterday!  He did not test yesterday because his dorm had to be evacuated due to the really bad weather in Texas, so he has a whole extra week to keep training to pass the push-up test!  However, he said that he was able to do 34 push-ups earlier in the week, so now he is confident that he can pass the test.  So he has mastered the mental part of the challenge, because once you know you can do it, it becomes easier to do it again.  We're really hopeful for next week's testing. 

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/29/2018:
Nice to hear...congrats to both of you!!


horn_of_plenty on 03/29/2018:
That's awesome your son has an extra week to practice more :) and it's true - once you know you can do it, that works for you mentally too.

I am so happy to hear you are doing better. i think the reason my definition in my shoulders is bigger now is due to planks...these are a really good exercise to hold as long as you can for 3 rounds of them. They are one of the new exercises i do. now you got all your exercise in...that's good too!


Maria7 on 03/29/2018:
Wow, 34 push-up are a LOT! :-) Happy for him and for you.



Donkey - Wednesday Mar 28, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

I've been dealing with an issue the past few days -- maybe even since Sunday...

OK, so I happen to have a large box -- like 50 pieces? -- of Frango chocolates from Marshall Fields.  For those of you who do not know, I would say they are like the Fannie Mae chocolate mint squares -- meltaways?  I've had this box for about year. I had other chocolates to finish first, and then had other goals to achieve, so the box remains unopened.

However, Monday I had an urge so strong to open the box after dinner and eat as much of the chocolate as I could to the point of being full and sick to my stomach.  Stopped myself by having a cup of decaf with chocolate creamer and a sweet-n-low packet.

Had the same thought on yesterday, instead had a chunk of raw cacao, which was probably more calories than one Frango, but wasn't ready to open the box.

So here I am tonight, wanting to open the box. I think that if I did, I could have only one.  But then I'd want a square every night --- and that would be OK too.  My mom --- who has lost almost 100 pounds of weight and kept it off for several years --- said that this is what she does to satisfy her need for a sweet.  

I just do not like that feeling like I want to eat the whole box.  That feeling is not specific to the box of chocolate.  I have had those feelings with cartons of ice cream... cans of nuts... Funny how I never have that feeling with a bag of carrots, LOL.

Having talked about this, I think I will wait to open the box another day.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/28/2018:
It's tough.....I have the same fight with myself...as I have said...we are preppers...and we have a lot of shelf stable food...and some of it calls me...repeatedly...and sometimes I answer......but right now...I have some things that tempt me...so I put them in a really out of the way place....like in a box under other boxes...or high enough that I can't reach them without getting the step stool out...part of me wonders why I don't just get rid of them...but the human garbage ca in me says noooooo...that I need to learn to eat that type of thing in moderation.....and there are carrots...but they do not call me....they are perfectly safe being right in the front of the cupboard......I feel what you feel!

Donkey on 03/29/2018:
I don't think that skinny people feel these urges....


bearcountrygg on 03/29/2018:
I don't think skinny people feel it either....we once had ( divorced now) a daughter in law that was tiny.....and she was not an adventurous eater...had no desire in trying anything new.....and weird as it may seem....at the age of 28...she had the first applesauce in her life at our house...and did not like it. Our son ( who was married to her)...loved to eat...LOL ( apple doesn't fall far from the tree)....could never understand how she would regularly forget to make a meal..in fact...once the idea of a meal was brought to her attention...she would think about it for awhile...and then drive to the store....hours later...a meal would be put on the table. When they were at our house she was very picky...she just wasn't driven by any kind of food...and I have to say in my childhood I had the same behaviors....but once I was married...I did make regular meals...she didn't.


bearcountrygg on 03/29/2018:
Have you ever looked at what skinny people have in their carts at the store...it's eye opening!!!



Donkey - Tuesday Mar 27, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

Just a quick log in right now....  Today was the first day I felt healthy -- except for the crunchy cough I have,  you'd never guess I had been sick.  I skipped my lunch walk yesterday and shortened it today.  Dear Lord, we just need some warmer weather here in Illinois to show us it's really Spring...

Snow expected over the weekend.  *sigh*

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

graindart on 03/27/2018:
We finally had a full week where the highs were above freezing every day. Of course we're supposed to get snow again this weekend too.....


bearcountrygg on 03/28/2018:
We may get it too...but hurray...our ice melted yesterday...so that is something...


horn_of_plenty on 03/28/2018:
yes the warmer weather def HELPS US :) i agree .... i am glad you didn't have this cold for WEEKS and WEEKS...keep taking care of yourself and not overdoing.


horn_of_plenty on 03/28/2018:
i cannot believe you may be getting snow in APRIL! yucky. but it does have to end sooner or later this Spring!


Maria7 on 03/28/2018:
Glad you are feeling better.



Donkey - Sunday Mar 25, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

A "successful" weigh-in today, but that's what being sick with a loss of appetite gets me.  I'm thinking rather than stirring up drama (with myself) with weigh-ins, what I need are self-affirmations that this is all just part of a healthy maintenance program.  Plus or minus a few pounds, depending on what life brings.  As this progresses, then I can start weening myself off of the scale, because I know that my body will take care of the numbers, as long as I take care of my body.

Needless to say, though, this journey has had a lot of ups and downs, not only on the scale, but also emotionally.

It's deceivingly beautiful here today.  Beautiful blue sky and bright sun... but still very chilly outside.  So for the most part, I plan to stay indoors, except I'm tickled pink that a library book I've been waiting for has come in.  Perfect timing since I just returned what I had checked out yesterday, and was wondering what to do next.  

So I have an errand to run, which is great.  As you know, I need tasks to do to keep myself active.  So why can I do this with an activity like going to the library, but when it comes to things that would help us move, e.g. organize my closet, I just can't get myself to do these sorts of chores? 


Breakfast:  2 coffee w/creamer, 2 slices of diet bread toast w/Nutella.

2nd Breakfast:  1/2 cup whole milk vanilla Greek yogurt.  Yes, I am a hobbit.

Lunch:  Salad w/ranch dressing, more delicious leftover oregano chicken.  Cantalope melon -- I'd say 1.5 cups at the most.

2nd Snack:  raw vegetables with 2TBSP dressing of some sort. And then add a small piece of raw cacao to that.

 

Dinner: homemade nachos (tortilla chips, seasoned ground beef, black beans, corn, Salsa, cheddar cheese) , 1 large apple.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

trishpiglet3 on 03/25/2018:
Sorry to hear you've not been well. I like the idea of weaning yourself off the scale... I think, as a society, we focus a lot on the numbers and not sufficiently on how we're feeling. I hope to do the same in the long run. Every best wish to you.

Going out to the library is possibly easier to do because it's a change of scenery. The same walls and setting can make it harder to do tasks... e.g is I think why people sometimes struggle when they're working from home. When I want to get stuff done at home, I like to put music on, and the music reminds me that I am doing a specific task. Music without lyrics is what I find most helpful, otherwise I'm pausing to listen to the words. I don't know if that's something that could work for you. Also setting a schedule and having a time-frame to complete the task?


bearcountrygg on 03/25/2018:
I agree completely with Trish......music or what I do sometimes is set a timer for 15 minutes.....and get busy....I usually do not want to stop when the timer goes off. Also I too get away from the scales for long periods of time...your clothes...and how you feel...will say a lot...we know...


happy-1 on 03/25/2018:
I like weighing myself daily and then seeing the trendline in an excel sheet. It goes up and down consistently over the course of a week so it actually keeps me more on track.


graindart on 03/26/2018:
Like everyone, the scale and I have a love/hate relationship. I'd definitely prefer not seeing it every morning, but it's a tool that keeps me accountable for now. Without seeing it daily, it's just way too easy for me to slowly drift off plan. By the time I realize that my clothes aren't fitting correctly, it's too late for me.


Horn_of_plenty on 03/26/2018:
your dinner and all meals sound EXCELLENT!

i think you are doing great. Maintenance is a beast of itself yes. I'm dealing with it too...but it's better than having a big weightloss to have to deal with, surely. It's better waking up and being around the weight you'd like to be.

i also struggle with home tasks. I'm worse than you...i hire a cleaning service every month or 2. (once a month or once every couple months) just to make sure that everything is cleaned up here every so often...i debate getting rid of the service and doing it myself but it seems so daunting that i keep making appts with them....although i'd be fitter and get exercise cleaning, for some reason, i keep putting it off and leaving it to a service whom i pay $100 plus a $30 tip every 4-8 weeks....


Horn_of_plenty on 03/26/2018:
Maintenance is hard but not as hard as feeling totally uncomfortable in your heavier self, in my opinion! when i say "your" i do not meet you - i mean anyone in maintenance vs their former heavier self!

keep on. now you know how to keep on with healthier eating and also you know how to include exercise in your routine. this is most what you need...


happy-1 on 03/26/2018:
Thought of you today and your fun with coworkers... I called a trade school and some Indian guy started right off with calling me "my dear". I asked him if there was someone else there I could talk to because I did not think we were communicating well. He said he was the only admissions counselor there so I said well let's try it again, but please understand that as I call these trade schools there are some interesting and unscrupulous characters out there and when you call women "my dear" in this culture it is demeaning and like you are talking down to us. I am most certainly not your dear we do not have that relationship.



Donkey - Saturday Mar 24, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

I forgot to weigh in today.  I woke up and felt well enough to exercise on my stationary bike (light setting, just to get muscles moving), so my "auto-pilot" kicked in, got dressed, got my water & coffee and went downstairs.  Hopped on the bike and realized - OOPS!  Oh well, that's OK. I think it might be better for me not to weigh in for a while... of course, I won't take my own advice.  I'll try to remember tomorrow.

So I woke up with more energy, less achy, and my sense of taste seems to be coming back, which is great, because I've missed wanting vegetables.  After my session with the bike, though, I feel a little tired, so I'm going to rest a little bit before I start my errands for the day.

Still not biting my nails.  Looking to go to Goodwill and look for a pair of pajama bottoms to match the new, free T-shirt I got for that stupid work party I went to a few weeks ago.  Also might look into getting some slacks that actually fit me, if I can find a size that fits.  I'm a shortie at 5'3" (more like 5'2") but "Petite" sizes are cut not only shorter but smaller.  Well, that satisfies the short part but I'm still a larger frame.  So I'm a size larger in "petitie", which doesn't feel good seeing on a size tag.  Mind games!

I realize that with my entries this past week, I need to work on self-acceptance.  How does one do this?  How does one find his/her center, focus, Zen?

EVENING EDIT: Did not do any clothes shopping, not enough energy. Not sure how I feel about tracking food. Downloaded 2 apps, one for guided meditation and one for yoga, but I just remembered I can find really good yoga on YouTube...


Food:

B 2 slices of diet toast w/Nutella, 1 cup of coffee with half and half

L: 1 cup "oregano chicken", large sweet potato w butter (2 tbsp?) & paprika.

S: 1/2 cup whole milk Greek Greek (vanilla ), 2 cups coffee w half and half, approx. 20 as almonds.

D: pot roast (~3 oz.), boiled potatoes ~1/2 cup, some cooked carrots and onions, 2 servings of green salad w Italian dressing

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/24/2018:
We got our bike put together...and I LOVE it......so handy and easy....one problem with ours is that it's on the high side and I do have a little trouble getting a leg up over the thing......old age stinks!!! But...I manage...and it's easy after that whole process is over....do you have a heart rate monitor on yours? Ours can add one...and D wants it...but my guess is he won't use it...so..I'm wondering rather or not to order that.

Donkey on 03/24/2018:
The new bike has a HR monitor in the handle bars, which you have to grip (both of them, simultaneously) to get a read out. Also, my Fitbit has a HR monitor. I don't know that it's worth the extra expense, to be honest. But if it's a helpful tool for you (or D), then it may be worth it.

When I got my Fitbit, I wanted one with a HR monitor for accurate calorie output, but I'm not sure that I really use it like I thought I would... Does that make sense?


happy-1 on 03/24/2018:
I'm looking for a used bike trainer I can put my road bike on and use it as an exercycle.

So expensive!!!! https://www.rei.com/product/863020/cycleops-fluid2-bike-trainer

Donkey on 03/24/2018:
They are! And quite often very noisy...


bearcountrygg on 03/24/2018:
That makes sense, I also have a fitbit...but haven't used it in a long time....I will look into the one for the bike I guess...


Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2018:
your food looks GREAT!

I noticed with you, always, that you certainly DO set high expectations for yourself which motivates all of us here! for sure.

but if you can at least stick to ONE just one of your expectations, you should definitely be happy with yourself. keep setting all expectations, and i guess realize that it's a give and take - time and energy-wise - and choose what you are ok with skipping or missing to do something else. or shorten some of the length of other things. i also want to sometimes do more than i have time for...

i'm glad you are using your bike.


Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2018:
buy the pants, ONLY 1 PAIR, and a pair that you will WEAR like 1x per week for a month.

that's what i should have done, instead of buying two pairs.

good news tho is that i know own black pants, to wear to a funeral, i hope they fit...otherwise, i'll have to wear my leggings. i also have a nice blazer that i'm glad i kept. :) the suit jacket. comes in handy to have at least a couple things that fit right for the occasion you have to wear them. but truthfully, you don't need more than 1 or 2 - that FIT - not too big or small...i'm now talking to myself!



Donkey - Friday Mar 23, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

I would like to thank Happy-1 on the suggestion of changing my DD name to Cougar Booty Babe.  LOL!!

Still very tired, but no fever and now just mostly coughing and tired.  I can live with that.  I'm going to bed after I write this and rest until I fall asleep.

Ate more today than I did yesterday:  slice of bread w/Nutella, protein shake, scrambled eggs & 1 baked potato, then sweet potato & oregano chicken for dinner, with fresh fruit.  My sense of taste is starting to come back too.

Tomorrow's weigh-in won't be reflective of my normal weight, but sticking to my routine.  I've kept up with the push-ups.  Wore my rings to work today, but only worked 9a-3p instead of until 5p.  I wanted to leave at lunchtime to go home and rest, but the workload just wouldn't allow it.

 

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/23/2018:
Shake it like you mean it!


bearcountrygg on 03/24/2018:
Good suggestion from Hap....I LIKE IT!!! Hope you feel better....my cold also culminated in a couple of very sleepy days....today...I'm feeling better...and hope you are too...it's the weekend and time to relax.



Donkey - Thursday Mar 22, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Turns out I'm sick... Very difficulty night from the minute I turned off the light, but woke up with a fever and aching muscles.

Had to go to work because there were deadlines that had to be met or extended. Plus we have a client who is closing tomorrow, so I had to get her file all set for the attorney.

Got to work and found out my boss has the flu, so I pretty much know how I got sick. Praying this isn't flu because I do not have insurance at the minute.

So today was a wash, but last night, I realized that if I want to be the person I strive to be, I'm going to have to be tougher than this. Real change takes hard work and self- discipline.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2018:
No doubt that the highly successful people in life are in fact usually the toughest...i'm talking success in life, but not like inherited wealth which doesn't require toughness.

i hope you feel much better soon though. I had no idea you didn't have health insurance. That is something i am very lucky to have, being in the union here in NYC, most if not all unions (teachers/professors,my electrical union, other trade unions, college teaching unions, healthcare workers unions) generally provide health insurance. i am so sorry! keep on and stay tough. i know outside the NYC area and other big cities, health insurance is a beast in its own outside the unions.

Donkey on 03/23/2018:
My husband had our insurance, and when he stopped working, our insurance stopped. He and my daughter have insurance through COBRA -- should be named "$$$$$" instead of COBRA. Very expensive, so I was out of luck.

As it turned out, my boss offered to cover me for medical only if I would agree to sign up for only myself and if I would sign up for the HMO. It kicks in on April 1st.


bearcountrygg on 03/23/2018:
Hope you are feeling better....mine ended up as just another cold.

Donkey on 03/23/2018:
I'm at a chest cold now - coughing up yellow stuff.


happy-1 on 03/23/2018:
Hugs. You are in a squeeze. Work doesn't provide insurance?

Donkey on 03/23/2018:
See my comment to above. It will starting April 1st. Out of the blue, my boss decided he would contribute. I wonder if someone said something to him... :-/


happy-1 on 03/23/2018:
Here in CA we have a lot of clinics run by nurse practitioners that will see you for $25. They are in the hispanic neighborhoods

Donkey on 03/23/2018:
I could have stopped by the CVS Minute Clinic and seen a Nurse Practitioner if I really wanted to... I really took a chance, because one has to take Tamiflu right away. I guess I figured my fever would break, and it did. I can see how people let this go and then get really sick.



Donkey - Wednesday Mar 21, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

I think I am getting sick. I am hoping this right now is as bad as I get.  I could live with that.  This started with a dry cough and then evolved into some sneezing, and now I have a headache and fatigue.  The cough has not left.  Fortunately, it's only occassional, but I can feel it in my chest and throat, which is how I know it's something, rather than nothing.

Didn't notice until now that I have some muscle soreness in my arms from last night's weights.  It was a short workout, did what I wanted to do.  I don't know about doing push-ups tonight... I'll try.

Speaking of push-ups, today was a re-test day for my son and he still did not pass.  He has to have perfect form or they do not count, and some of them get a little sloppy at the end of a minute.  *sigh*  He told my husband that he is working out with a few friends now that are in his same exact position and he has access to weights.  So he has another week to train.  Having him pass will be such a relief...

In spite of this stress, I have not chewed on my fingernails (yet).  I wore rings today too, but I took them off before typing this up.  I might give it another try, but you know... I think I'm just not a ring person.  Also, I don't think I'm a fancy fingernail person either.  This conflict -- between who I want to be versus what I really am -- mirrors how I am about my weight.  Oh how I wish I had thin legs.  Instead I have these thick legs.... Took a look last night... I don't know if surgery (lipo) would work, even.  They are shaped a certain way that I don't like.  What I really wish is that this didn't bother me and dominate my thoughts & life so much.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

graindart on 03/21/2018:
The wife wore her original wedding ring for around 10 years before it needed some repair. The repair wasn't done exactly right and something was a little crooked on it. She wore it for another couple years until I decided to replace my everyday gold ring with one of those rubber / silicone rings. Since I was changing rings, we got her a nice upgrade that she loves to wear now. After 17 years of marriage and trying out many different rubber / silicone rings I finally had enough of wearing them. I'm always doing something and they kept getting in the way. Finally got a "ring" tattoo-ed on my finger. I'm not a tattoo type of guy, but that was the best thing I've done in quite awhile. Of course I'm a dude, so I don't care that it doesn't look anywhere as good as actually wearing a nice shiny ring.


happy-1 on 03/21/2018:
Fresh pineapple and pineapple juice will actually clear that sore throat/fevery/sweaty/achey feeling. It's that b chemical... it oxidizes fast so cut it fresh and then chew/suck like a lozenge every couple of hours.


happy-1 on 03/21/2018:
I'm not a fancy fingernail person either. I am really happy with nail buffing because they look shiny like jewels and pretty but no plastic coating that feels claustrophobic or flakes off into food when I cook.


happy-1 on 03/21/2018:
Thick legs are great. Just do squats to make your butt bigger. You can be an instagram star for "cougar booty babe"


horn_of_plenty on 03/22/2018:
I think the shiny ring really decorates a hand, whether the nails are done or not. You can develop a habit of placing it in a convenient place so that you can put it on before you leave the house and take it off when you get home? That's what i would do.

As for your legs, i wish i also had the "skinny legs." I think i probably would have them if i was in shape in my lower body.

The reason you think about your legs and weight etc is it's a habit that you comfortably go back to thinking about to take your mind off something else. OR, at least this is MY case.

Everyone has things they want to change, but you will have to accept yourself for what you are as long as you are proactive and try your best to make yourself your best...


horn_of_plenty on 03/22/2018:
oh feel better - i am sure the cold is from your trip. it will pass you know :)



Donkey - Tuesday Mar 20, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Weighed in this First Day of Spring at 133.0...

OMG work was so busy today.  It was like I left for 4 days and the real estate market exploded.  My co-worker did a really nice job of maintaining my files while I was gone.  I'd like to get her a gift.  I was thinking a gas card, maybe?  Money is very tight for her, so I want to get her something that would help her out too.  Any ideas?

My plan for spring is to start strength training again.  Starting slow, with 2 sets of 3 exercises:  shoulders, triceps, biceps.  Ugh, but I like to train my chest and back too.... But then my sessions will take too long.  And push-ups, if I can remember to do them.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2018:
Good job maintaining J Donk!

If she drinks coffee and buys it outside, Dunkin Donuts card? Remember something - she was just doing her job...it's not mandatory to compensate her further...you can bring in a coffee for her, also. You can buy her lunch :)

Good plans for Spring - weight training really shapes up a body nicely! starting with a few exercises is enough - you dont have to bog yourself down with too many exercises... My plans are cardio :)

Today i a snow day...even my gym closed...but going into work to prob come home early!

Donkey on 03/21/2018:
That is a good idea! She likes Starbucks and Panera. Very easy to get a small gift card, to say thanks.


Maria7 on 03/21/2018:
That is one of the best gifts I've ever heard of. :-) You are a wonderful friend.

Donkey on 03/21/2018:
I'm going to check out the "gift card" center at either the grocery store or Wal-Mart and see what my options are there. :-) Thanks!


Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2018:
Gift cards are simple and always accepted happily! I thought Maria's comment was very sincere and thoughtful to you. :)



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