Heading back to work today... the coworker who was monitoring my emails checked in with me last night, letting me know that the boss sent out 2 letters, and that she left with about 30 emails for me to handle. I'm guessing I'll have about 48 emails this morning, adding the emails that come in overnight. Not great but could be worse. At least I know what I'm walking into, today.
Work does not bring me joy. It used to... On the other hand, I've had jobs that I was completely miserable with/at, and this is not one of them by any stretch.
I realized this morning that I forgot to make a doctor's appointment for myself yesterday afternoon. I have new insurance, so I'm starting over with a new doctor, and I'd rather not make that call at work. I WILL do this next Thursday after my husband's next doctor's appointment.
I'm going to plan better for next Thursday, so that I'm not as frustrated or disappointed with my day off.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
Just checking in briefly for the day.... Today is the 1st of 2 important doctor's appointments for my husband. This one is more important but easier to get to. Next Thursday is less important, but a very difficult drive in towards the city.
I hope to have a nice lunch with my husband afterwards, and then just chill out for the remainder of the day, enjoying the rest of my day off from work.
Got home around 1:30p but the whole ordeal had me exhausted. I'm not doing too well with unstructured time.
And my legs and butt hurt like heck from those lunges on Sunday...
also, cardio has been difficult for me, yes, as has been anything involving legs like squats. it takes me a LONG time to improve especially due to the previous injuries. so yes it's not always fun but it's worth it. just like your weights. but i do feel good knowing i am getting stronger / more fit to do better cardio bc i know it's overall good for my heart.
also, i know it's "time" endurance with cardio, but, i have a long term goal right now just to get better and better at a mile or tops 1.5 miles. but really the one mile seems a good goal to just keep improving my time, and keep it up thru the winter this time, instead of taking a break like last Winter from all cardio bc of too much change in schedules..this year i want to keep doing some cardio thru Winter...then i'll see improvement!
Besides, he was wiped out and felt like he had the flu. Very common in days he takes Humira.
and at home, i can't watch them. wow humira wipes him out like that?
So I wanted to expand for myself upon what a couple of members (Gains & Bear) have posted about that have me *really* thinking about where to go from here.
Gains had mentioned in a response to me (to paraphrase) that he's looking for a plan/goal that is enjoyable to work towards and fun. Bear has mentioned that she's at a point in her life where it's time to enjoy and reap the benefits of a life that she and her husband have worked hard for.
This is so spot on. I think this is what I was trying to say about searching for a new TV show to exercise with -- so that I reap the joy from exercising and watching TV in the same space of time.
Allow me to expand on painful exercise that I hate. If you've been reading my story, you know I do not like weight-training -- BUT I *LOVE* the results. Which is why I set up habits that are short (sessions of 5 minutes or less) and doable. Today I did lunges for the first time in a long time - 2 sets of 10. Afterwards I was like, "Great balls of rice, what have I done? My thighs are on fire." But I know that this means I will get results. I'll do this again later on this week. The action doesn't bring me joy but the ACCOMPLISHMENT does.
THIS is what I'm talking about.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
I read a story about when Jackie O. was dying, and her family surrounded her. She lamented about eating carrot sticks for lunch and how it obviously, in the end, didn't make much difference.
I've been thinner before and not nearly as happy/content, because my goals were misdirected. I feel great with the weight I've lost and lead an active lifestyle because of it. I was not happy being overweight: swollen, out of balance, hard to move, joint pain, clothes didn't fit well, etc.
Where I am at now, those have gone away, so now it's time to focus on maintaining what I have and improving on other aspects of well-being. (Stress, sleep, emotional/spiritual growth, etc.)
really it was well thought out and also something it touches on that i thought about was the "give and take" of life. To get some things, you have to give some things. And not always give things you enjoy.
For instance, the results of your weight routine....you enjoy the results so much that you are taking so you are ok with giving something that you don't particularly love (strength training.)
you know, some of the parts of my routine, i don't think of love. but i do love how i feel when i'm done and the results. the only reason i took on the routine i do right now is for the results and a back of mine goal to be court officer, perhaps. i'm doing my routine bc i want to get things. but it also gives me an endorphin high during it. so, yeah. i probably still GET much more than i give, in regards to weightlifting...and exercise...and that's a GREAT way to think of it! like there's so much good in it, it just makes it so worth it!
I hadn't considered that you might have similar feelings towards cardio. That's a harder goal to work on, because to build endurance, you must engage in the activity longer. Good music can help :-)
Yesterday:
Today:
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
good luck tomorrow on your appt with Hubby...and have a good day. It's been hot so i understand your wanting to use the AC!
UPDATES & PROGRESS REPORTS:
Weigh-in: My weight has stablized, it would seem, at 128.0 on the old scale. On the Ironman scale, it had me at 128.8 which is the lowest I think I've ever seen on that scale, LOL... But I had a revelation yesterday, thanks to something Gains said in his comments, that I'm at the point where the numbers don't really matter to me any more. I've arrived; I need to accept this and MOVE ON already. ***Do I sound like a broken record??*** Again, working my way to - perhaps - weighing in less often. But it's definitely time for me to move from numbers to other types of goals. What those goals might be, I do not yet know. I like what I do, don't want to compete in any races or participate in any kind of group activity - with respect to this.
Advocare on a Budget: Just trying to prove to myself that I don't have to spend a butt-load of $$ on expensive marketing products to get results. I'm about half-way through the bottle of amino acid tablets that I bought for much cheaper than it would cost to buy Advocare's Catalyst product, and I am quite pleased with the results that this supplement has brought. I think it has improved the appearance -- muscle seems to be more defined - and it has helped me recover from exercise faster, so that I don't feel that fatigue in my legs (as much). So I substitute Wal-Mart Energy drink packets to substitute for Spark, the amino acid tablets for Catalyst, I do my own thing with multi-vitamins, and I use a protein powder from Aldi instead of a "meal replacement" shake or protein supplement. I will buy another bottle of the amino acid supplement when I finish the one I have. I really like the results, and I think I've proven my point (to myself).
[DISCLAIMER: If you use Advocare products and you really like them, then go for it. Do and use whatever works for you!!!!]
Secret New Habit: Which isn't really that new, but I've been keeping it under wraps to see if I could honestly make a go at it. I challenged myself - as a last-ditch effort - to incorporate the MINIMAL amount of upper body weight training into my routine. I told myself that I should be able to do a maximum of 5 minutes to using weights. This was a struggle at first, mainly because I kept forgetting to add it into my routine. (Don't really like doing weights.) I allow myself Wednesdays off and the weekend off. It took me about 2 weeks to get this engrained into my brain to do this. The goal was to do 2 sets of 1 muscle group for upper body. Then I found myself doing 2 types of exercise. Then I found myself lifting on Wednesdays. What really helped me stick to this is that I'm starting to see a NICE definition in my arms. Pair this up with the "lean look" from the amino acid supplement and BINGO! I've been toying with trying to do something for the lower body, but.... To recap: I hate weights, but love the results, so I'll keep this up - and for 5 minutes a day, I can certainly do that.
New TV Show Search: Trying to find something to watch at night when I do my additional exercise to unwind from the day, as I only have 5 more episodes of the Great British Baking Show left to watch. There have been a few shows that I've tried on Netflix, but nothing has hit the spot yet. The shows that I thought I'd give a try aren't on Netflix any more -- I suspect they've moved over to BritBox. I have series that I haven't kept up with: Better Call Saul, Orange is the New Black, Walking Dead... But I'm looking for something delightful and/or comforting at the end of the day. Also, I'm looking for something short (30 minute running time) before I resume 45-60 minute exercising during the fall/winter months.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
i agree with your weigh-in opinions. i do think less is more. as long as you keep a routine, weigh-ins can be less often if you know what you are doing is right :)
perhaps you will learn to like weights because results may make you realize that you want to lift to keep the results. i am sure it has paid a difference and i'm sure you are so happy that it's all paid off! this is why i love weightlifting. i also love it because of how far i've come (and of course it makes me feel good during and after thanks to the endorphins)...but it's good to go to the gym and work on something and see progress. believe it or not, my routine now i'm not very good at!!! i've only been doing it since around December/January but the cool thing is that i have already improved a bit! i actually used to be embarassed doing some of the squats exercises bc i was so bad at them, but i've improved and that's a good feeling! i think as you improve at weights and keep them in your routine, they will feel like less of a drag!
i've heard great things about all those series. i may start on something too :) maybe download orange is the new black on internet if i can.
good goals, good progress, J donk.
It was not a good day yesterday. Had to stay later than I wanted to at work, come home only to find that nobody has emptied out the dishwasher, which has been clean all day. I said, I am NOT doing that. And because it wasn't emptied, it couldn't be reloaded with the dinner dishes. Husband ended up doing all of it, but it's very painful for him to do so. I wasn't budging this time, though. He's home all day with 2 young adults who are perfectly capable of doing this knee simple chore before they go to work.
My lunch was vile, so I did not eat much of it. I will throw the rest of it out today. Dinner was a disappointment, but husband made it, and I'm grateful to come home after work and not have to cook. I will take leftovers for my lunch (to replace the leftovers I'm throwing out), but I did not eat much dinner either. I'm ok with that: less calories. There's a silver lining to everything.
One thing that was frustrating though was that my husband did not prepare enough vegetables. I've been observing what he eats. He did not eat a single vegetable last night. That's actually been a trend with him. No vegetables whatsoever. WTH...
We're supposed to go to chair yoga tonight and then maybe out to eat, but to be honest with you all, I'd rather just eat dinner at home. Less calories...
The boss is out of the office today to go to his class reunion. I suspect that Queen Bee won't show up either. She skips out when she can get away with it and still gets paid the full amount.
I will be out of the office in Monday. My husband has a couple of life- changing doctor appointments this month. The results of these appointments will literally determine our family's future.
EVENING UPDATE: No chair yoga, husband was too sore and achy. That was fine with me - leftovers and peace & quiet.
This morning was a little rough & grumpy, but got everything done at work so I can take Monday off with peace of mind. With the Boss and Queen Bee off, it was quite pleasant. Very quiet, could get work done, nice.
But Bear is right: I REALLY NEED this weekend.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
also, i'm happy you will be off Monday...and have a change of scenery. i hope everything goes well at dr for your hubby. how nice to go with him.
Happy August! A brand new month to make a difference! Funny, I didn't even think of goals for this month! I kind of like what I'm doing, because it seems to be paying off!!
This will be a month of change: evening exercise (once I find a new tv show to watch), updates on my new habit, update on the amino acid supplement I've been taking, first year I don't have any kids starting school, etc.
For August, I'd like to post here daily. It seems that if I want to do that, I'm going to have to log in on my phone, which is not my preference, but so be it.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
Can't wait to hear about your new habit!
I'm also starting somewhat fresh...and you have made a mark on me here...you make me realize i should be MORE SPECIFIC with my goals for August if i want them to come to be.
Specifically, I will not hang out so much that i cannot get my exercise in! For August, it's getting back to my structure and being able to SAY NO to friends / coworkers when they hang out and do things i'd rather not do! ha.
Thus starts another year for me... I feel that I did OK with food yesterday, in spite of the early birthday celebrations. More celebrations today, and then back on track. That ice cream cake will be hard to resist, though...
I want to thank everyone for their encouragement regarding maintenance. I hope that you understand that when I complain about my numbers, although they may be lower than what you weigh now, it is still just as much of a struggle to be satisfied with and comfortable in one's own skin.
So my second day of birthday celebrations -- my actual birthday -- went very well, and I am done with the cake. The kids can have the rest. I'm very satisfied with the 2 pieces that I had.
I'm really excited for my next year!
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
If you want the ice cream cake on your bday, having some is better than not and then being all regretful until you DO take a piece! It’s your bday and if you like it, plan for it! OH, I read your whole entry and I see you did eat the cake !!!
I agree that maintenance is a rough road, but a HAPPIER road for ME than weightloss. I am happy to be a weight I like mostly, and not still arriving there. As I maintain, I notice it harder and harder to continue to feel satisfied because the desire is always for BETTER. I do agree with you. Just remember that the more fit we get, the harder it is to reach another level. And all levels are only reached when we make changes.
Big hugs!
Weight is up slightly at 128.0... I guess I'm OK with that. It's a mixed bag of feelings. On the one hand, I'm thrilled with maintaining under goal -- and even under 130. On the other hand, I keep having this strong desire to see lower numbers.
The Ironman scale weighed me at the following: Weight 130.0 / Fat % 26.2 / Muscle 91.0 / Water 51.3 / Bone 4.8 <<<not much change in those figures either.
This weekend will bring many food challenges. I must remember to practice moderation and balance. I do NOT want to fall into the trap of "This is a celebration, so go ahead and eat what you want" or "I worked hard, so I deserve this food as a treat". All things in their proper place. Enough about food.
I am coming to the end of the episodes of the Great British Baking Show on Netflix. Therefore, my added 45 minute bike rides in the evenings will be ending, unless I find another series to watch. I would like to mix things up and scale back to a 30 minute bike ride in the evenings, so I'm looking for a series with episodes around 30 minutes that's available on Netflix, Hulu.... Maybe I should go to my library and see if they have anything on DVD that I could check out for an extended period of time. Whatever it is, it needs to be engaging but light.
Progress as of today: 58.5 lbs lost so far, only -8.5 lbs to go!
You have to decide if you are just thinking about a number or actually wanting to take fat off because you feel you can. Losing weight is fine and good if that is what you feel like and feel is good for you…but if it’s only because you keep wanting to go lower and lower on the scale, perhaps the scale isn’t healthy.
You’ve come a long way, the scale is only a representation of the choices you make, it’s either shows your progress or maintenance or decline according to your choices OFF the scale. The scale is not what makes you lose weight, but your mind. It just shows your choices, but isn’t a god that you need to follow unless it is your goal. What I mean is, try not to get caught up in the numbers game. It seems based on what you write that you are more in maintenance bc you compare your numbers on the scale to each other and how you are happy with them but perhaps want them lower.
Scale will only go lower if you make personal choices to do so. But it will not chance much if you don’t change much so you can’t wish it to do so if you don’t do anything but wish for lower numbers. Wishing and making active choices are 2 different things! LOL. I’m very blunt this morning.
Feeling physically better, but mentally, I'm not in a good place. Work is back to kicking my butt. Fortunately, it's not co-workers, but clients and file dynamics. I've come to the conclusion that this is because a full moon is coming up. Sure enough! Not only is it a full moon, but some places on earth will witness the longest lunar eclipse in like the next 100 years or so. AND the planet Mercury is in retro-grade, which means that it appears that Mercury is moving backwards in the sky, but this is because of its relative position to earth and it's shorter orbit around the Sun.
Yes, all of this wonderous astro-nature is causing havoc with my files. I truly believe this. We can always tell when the moon is full. And this one's a doozy.
So work is a source of stress and not joy or accomplishment (which it used to be, at one point, but that point has passed; too much has changed). This stress would normally be OK, except that it dominates the majority of my time during the day... and zaps a lot of mental strength from me -- to the point of draining me physically too!
Anyway, the nice thing is that I know this will pass. I just have to ride it out. Hormones, full moons, retrograde planets -- it comes and it goes. When I was younger, from the age of 10 until well into my 30s, I used to sink into these terrible, long-term depressions. Now with age, I have the insight of my 40's to know that this too shall pass. And I'll be OK.
I'm not ready to talk about the new habit I'm trying -- desperately trying -- to establish. I want to give it more time to see if it will set before I evaluate. I would almost call it "experimental" except that it's nothing original -- just my mental approach is "experimental" this time. It's been a struggle this week, which again, is not helping my mood any.
Progress as of today: 59 lbs lost so far, only -9 lbs to go!
maybe reserve more time for rest...i'm once again finding myself needing extra rest, wish i could sleep in during the week to get it.
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I have a short book suggestion for you - as you are the biggest judge of you....don't get so disappointed or frustrated about your day off...nobody else is judging you except you....
WORK will bring you joy if you want it to....you don't have to be perfect or set expectations that warrant a failure feeling....
any workplace will feel similar...it's YOU that has to adjust your frame of mindset...well...
here's the book:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The book starts off quite annoyingly slow for the intro but the rest of the book rolls right thru. it's short read. good for my mindset, which is why i recommended it.
it basically says only you can decide if you want to go thru life feeling upset and not being proud of your choices and constantly judging yourself. or you can decide to change your outlook through working on 4 personal agreements. it's pretty logical and some of it i had to laugh at bc it was a bit too logical / childlike explanation but most of the book is a good reminder to not let life whack you but for you to be YOURSELF and not judge as much.
horn_of_plenty on 08/07/2018:
it's YOUR vacation day. i have taken days and also been annoyed at how i used them. however, do what you can and don't get so pissed at yourself if you didn't use it the BEST way...perhaps you needed rest. you are only human...but you can learn and have a better vaca day next time, yes, but don't let the learning experience turn into an upsetting experience....
i like how you will plan Thursday to have a different experience. you can plan to go to a park in afternoon, or plan an actual activity. but if you want to relax, plan for it too.
sounds like you have good plans for everything that you want to do, and you are choosing when to make these things happen. that is good, that is you that is planning for your wants and not leaving them up to someone else lol...good.
horn_of_plenty on 08/07/2018:
what i also mean is, when things don't go as planned, try not to let it upset you too much...
BearCountryGG on 08/07/2018:
I have to say that I agree with HOP's book recommendation.....The Four Agreements will always have a place in our home library...it's a quick read..it's the type of book that I return to over and over again when I need to remind myself that everything in life is a choice......and the only person I can control is me. One thing is for sure.......we always find time for the things we seriously want to do........sometimes we THINK we want to do things...but if we don't do them...then we weren't ready...for whatever reason. Funny how some things are just not negotiable...if someone says "I HAVE to go to the bathroom"...no one ever says..."OH NO you don't"...and basically....no matter what anyone thinks or does....we go find a bathroom...there is no question...we FIND the time...we make the time...because it is a necessity.....there is one thing that I learned very late in life...and that is...that "NO"...is a complete sentence.....everyone is running their own agenda....and for me...that can make the shortest sentence in the world very easy to say!!!
BearCountryGG on 08/07/2018:
Of course...on second thought...saying "NO" to the boss is probably not a good idea...LOL
Lol!!!
horn_of_plenty on 08/07/2018:
Yes, i just told (without actually saying NO) my friend C that the next time i could go to the beach with her is September 1. LOL...i just don't see it happening this month...too busy on weekends and it leaves me feeling horrible. so, well, i just ended the beach....i said NO but without saying no. if she asks me further, i may just say i can't.
No is good....haha, i was reading BCGG's comment :)
I get this... all about knowing one's limits and maintaining boundaries.