Day 30:
I was so busy at work that I didn't even have time to take a walk. I ate lunch at my desk, dealing with one email emergency after another.
I was supposed to go to Yin Yoga at the New Yoga Studio last night, with Mistakes Girl and Male Co-Worker. We were all too busy and too stressed from the workday to make it. Ironically, yoga probably would have helped us all feel better.
As it was, I walked into my home at 5:58p last night and Yin Yoga started at 6p.
Added on to this incredibly stressful work-week, Wednesday night, we received news from our son that something bad happened. I really had nowhere to turn with this, to talk about it. I did mention it to my boss, because I felt like this was really just too much to deal with, on top of all the work stress. He was sympathetic.
Logically, and in my heart, I know that what is meant to be will be. There's nothing I can do from here, and whatever happens today is not entirely in my son's control either. So we'll hope for the best resolution possible. He is alive and healthy and OK, and at the end of the day, that is what really matters.
Funny how derailed my 100-day challenge to better being has become. Who would have thought that October would be so stressful?
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 29: Intention: Today I put myself first. Mantra: (private)
Work continues to be a disaster. I'm STILL dealing with the fall-out from the afternoon I took off last week because I was sick. I keep thinking maybe I'm caught up, but each day seems to bring a new cyclone of drama.
Last night's Self-Love Yoga was wonderful. It was a different kind of yoga - Restorative Yoga. I'm so glad that the teacher (Becky - who I thought I wouldn't like, but I really do like her!) decided to incorporate this type of yoga, because I do not think I would have ever tried it on my own. You go into a position and hold it for about 5 minutes, just concentrating on breathing and relaxing. After each move, my body felt like it was waking up from a wonderful, deep sleep.
Next week is our last class. Her next series is "Yoga for Stress Reduction". I might sign up for that, but I must also start using my 10-class ticket. I want to practice yoga more - so why DON'T I - especially during the week, when my stress levels are the highest?
Male Co-Worker is looking into yoga, to help with anxiety and high blood pressure. I am recommending my studio to him, because it's very close to his home, very easy-going, and frankly, I want this studio to remain in business. So even though I'd rather be selfish and keep this little gem to myself --- and frankly, again, I would rather keep work people out of my real life --- the studio needs more attendance. Mistakes Girl says she's interested too... I might take her to the Disasterous Yoga Studio, because the first class is free. It would get me started there... Not sure.
I am going to try to get my daughter to go with me to some of these classes. I feel like if I had had the influence of yoga and stress reduction earlier on in my adult life, I would have been so much better off than where I am now. It might not work for her, but then again, it might start her on a wonderful journey of her own.
Work has been so stressful lately, that I'm going to listen to Christmas music at my desk. I think that will help.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 27 Addendum: Mindful Eating Workshop
I'm glad that I paid only $5 for the workshop. I met a nice group of ladies, including one who is in yoga teacher training (she was the youngest of the group). I also met another woman who is a retired yoga instructor (oldest of the group). We were a group of 5.
I feel like an hour was not really enough time to get into truly what Mindful Eating is or how to eat mindfully, like we just touched the surface. The instructor leads a 6-week series, and I feel like THAT is probably the better way towards behavior modification.
As far as practical advise, she recommended:
The book that she was trained with is Slow Down Diet by Marc David. I'm not in any hurry to check it out.
The one thing that I came away with from the workshop is how stressed out everyone is. I could have sworn that every one of those ladies, except the retired yoga teacher, worked for a law firm or a real estate company. None of them did, though, and yet, they were just as stressed out as me! I'm not alone!
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 27
The remainder of the week has been most difficult.
I decided to leave early (1:00p) on Wednesday, did not go to Chair Yoga, stayed home, rested, napped, trying to feel better, taking zinc and a decongestant to avoid getting the full-blown sinus infection that my co-worker (Nice Lady) has had for the past 2 weeks. I'm really angry that she has come to work, hacking up a lung, obviously sick. She's not that busy.
While I was out Wednesday afternoon, my co-workers were left to deal with a high drama client & her agent (who is high drama too). This High Drama Client carried on through Friday. So on top of trying to catch up on my other files, this High Drama took so much time - and the client was condescending and berating, just going over and over the same thing, how awful I was, how much the attorney messed up, etc.
On top of fighting a cold and dealing with High Drama and LOTS of work, TOM decided to hit, so I was battling that too.
You'd think I'd get a break from all of this, but yesterday was Legal Clinic. I'm seriously giving thought to giving this up, because it is starting to feel like an extra work day. I come home and my daughter has a house guest that stayed until I started getting ready for bed! So no relaxation yesterday.
I would love to relax today, but I have that Mindful Eating workshop today at 12:30p. I hope to do some yardwork, which usually helps me decompress. I hope.
Monday morning I'm signing papers to re-finance my mortgage before I rush off to work.
WILL THIS EVER STOP???
All this crap is making it really hard to reset myself for this week, where I'm sure to deal with more High Drama.
THIS is why I hate my job. That I cannot even be sick for HALF A DAY without everything falling apart.
I did some research and found out that becoming a certified yoga instructor is very expensive and quite intensive over a short duration of time. So, I've come to the conclusion that rather than have surgery on my fat, that the money would be put to better use learning yoga.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
also, good decision about the fat removal and not doing it. also, are you wanting to be a yoga instructor?
My boss says that it's job security. In his defense, he knows that High Drama Client is way Outer Limits, and he has offered to deal with her whenever. That did kind of help me to feel better.
You're 100% right - can't take this stuff personally... BUT it DOES feel personal. It's hard, it hurts.
That is what I meant to say above. And it's not just me. Male Co-Worker gets this too. All the time.
If I were to get my certificate, it would only be so that I could teach the classes that I want to see more of, namely Cat Yoga, Chair Yoga, Cat Chair Yoga, and Chair Cat Yoga.
Day 23: Intention: Get through the day. Mantra: Get through the day.
I woke up this morning feeling like every major joint in my body is on fire. I also feel sick to my stomach. Emotionally, I'm not at 100% today. This is the hell that monthly hormones can do. So I believe that this too shall pass.
Some of the aches and pains are because I did too much yesterday... and probably Monday too. So my body does need to rest. And when I don't feel so tired, I will be able to organize my emotions more clearly.
Hoping to come home after Library Chair Yoga this afternoon, rather than returning to work. I think that's a very good idea.
I'll be alright.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Day 20: Intention: Although I may have regrets, I am thankful for where I'm at right now. Mantra: Gratitude is the attitude.
I continued to make small progress in winterizing my yard for winter. It was VERY windy yesterday, which made the cooler temperatures down-right COLD. Daughter did not want to go for a nature walk, so we just hung out, and I walked on my mom's old treadmill. My back was still a little too achy, so I did not practice any yoga (on my own). However, I *did* do weights, so I'm happy with that.
I had an epiphany of sorts on Friday night. I like to learn things for my own journey by learning from others, what they have experienced on their own travels. I was watching a certain British baking show, when the lady who lost this week, said that she had gotten to a point in her life, where she was stuck. She decided that until she figured it out, she was just going to do things that she enjoyed and made her feel better.
Wow - just WOW... Oh how it would have been so helpful to me to realize this myself much earlier in my life. When feeling "stuck", rather than try to cater to unrealistic ambitions, if I had just stepped back a bit, things might have been entirely different. That is to say, rather than violently struggle against feeling "stuck", sometimes the solution is a more gentle approach of determining what really brings fulfillment and happiness and contentment.
However, it's best not to dwell on what might have been and appreciate where I'm at now, and where I'm going.
I came to the realization this past week that perhaps my knees and thighs are big for a reason. Knee problems go way back in our family - I already have problems with my right knee, but they usually pass. I'm wondering if the extra padding is there for some kind of preventative reason, perhaps for when I am much older. As Horn related her experience of having a cosmetic treatment on her abs, if I were do something with my knees & inner thighs -- say, like that subcutaeous procedure where they freeze the fat cells with laser or ultrasound - and then had nerve damage or pain, that would be not be good. Or suppose my legs would look disproporationate after having lipsuction? That wouldn't be good either - in fact, that would probably be worse! (Who spends $$$$ to look worse???)
And while I was at Self Love Yoga, how wonderful it was to assume various godess positions (a fancy name for variations on a sumo squat) easily because my legs are strong and solid!
(Unfortunately, it was this fabulous self-showing-off that led to straining my back, but lesson learned -- on many levels!)
It's just as well that I did not sign up for the Yoga Nature Walk -- it's been canceled 2 times now, and this time, I do not think they are going to reschedule, unfortunately. Perhaps if they do, I will sign up. I would like to have some friends that I can hike with.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
awesome you did weights! i'm off for the holiday...and realize today is a "pushup" day....so i should get on those - or skip until Wednesday ;)
with the negative feelings / feelings of being stuck (which i feel now), my coworker, smart lady project manager, has said to NOT make any big decisions and do just as the baker you watched on TV said...yes.
yeah, cosmetic procedures...i think how i'll want botox or something similar in my face when i'm ...older...lol who knows what that means. but now because $ is not flowing as freely as i thought it would by now, i'm changing my course too and realizing it's more just about "living life" and not paying for things that really will not help me...the abs thing was a waste.
are there any walking clubs in your area? there may be one you don't know about...also, if you can go walking at a park, some people are friendly to talk to. i used to walk with random people at a park near me when i was younger - i became friends with them (all ages) and they liked to walk and talk..i haven't done that as much recently...at all. partially because i don't walk regularly anywhere anymore i guess....
at another park i went to a couple years ago, women also were walking together and they may have met at that park. - parks with walking paths.
Day 17: Intention: I love and accept my body for the way it is. Mantra: This too shall pass.
Hurt my back. I think it was from a specific move during Tuesday's Self-Love Yoga. I like to impress myself (ha ha ha) that I can do all of the moves in a session, even though I'm new in my journey. Well, this vanity has come to bite me in the back. I started feeling a little bit of it, but this morning, I'm having active "reminders" from my back that I did something wrong..
Again, a valuable lesson. I must accept my limitations. This yoga thing is a journey, not an accomplishment. It is more like practicing a craft, writing rough drafts - it's not about the finished product. When I was doing this move, I knew that I was testing my limits - not in a good way - and I *could* have modified the move so as not to put so much stress on the back. I did not respect my body.
So kind of a mind-body disconnect.
I did have the courage to purchase a 10-class ticket though at New Yoga Studio. So now the next step is to actually USE the ticket and attend classes. I wanted to try a more challenging yoga (one that flows rather than just practicing holding positions), but this should will wait until my back feels better.
If I go to the other yoga studio (remember Donkey's Yoga Disaster?), it seems as though most of the classes I can attend are of the same variety as Library Yoga. So not so sure I want to duplicate... So, still thinking about this.
I was also brave enough to sign up for the Mindful Eating workshop on October 20th. Something fun to do on a Sunday afternoon.
My daughter is not in a good spot right now. Not sure what's going on EXACTLY, but she needs a break, so I'm looking into some quick getaways to do with her, before the retail holiday season starts up.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
That is to say, sometimes it's about effort, rather than the result. :-)
I'll write more about impressing myself...
i used to do a HOT bikram yoga around 13 years ago and it was def challenging, but we did hold the poses for one minute each.
i want to hear how the mindful eating goes next weekend.
also, great to hear you are thinking of & helping your daughter...and how is your son?
New Yoga Studio has just added Hot Yoga on Saturday mornings. It is a slow flow style. I might try that. After that, they turn off the humidifier, and the next class is only Warm Yoga, LOL...
I'm waiting a little longer for my back to feel better first, I think. IDK, I might do a little yoga on my own this weekend.
might as well do as you said - honor your body, treat it well, know what helps and what may not...and work with it in a positive manner rather than destructive (i should take this cue!!!!)
Day 15: Today I devote to my Chill (state of relaxation and serenity). Mantra: Let go and let God.
Library Yin Yoga was very relaxing last night. Very nice, deep stretching. I arrived at class almost too late, so I didn't have time to grab any props to assist me with my movements. I am flexible enough that I do not need a cushion or support blocks, but having a strap to help with stretch extensions would be helpful. So I learned something about myself last night.
The instructor also gave us some good news that the library is allowing her to offer more classes in a bigger room come December. I hope that she will be offering a 2nd class at night; right now, she offers 2 classes per month: one during the day, and then one at night.
Tonight is Self-Love Yoga. I hope I remember to bring my checkbook so that I can get a 10-class pass and sign up for the Mindful Eating workshop. Must remember...
I came across something last night that was rather mind-blowing to me. It put into words exactly what I've been trying to articulate lately:
Does working full-time make you feel like you're living part-time?
YES! This is exactly what I've been trying to say.
I have a friend who thought that she would find her happiness in her career/job. She studied the same coursework I did to become a legal assistant, but ended up not leaving her current job because of the salary and benefits that she already has.
She is about 5 years older than I am, and she has come to the realization that she has found her passion - her vocation, if you will - as a lay minister in her church. As she has nutured this passion, she has taken on more responsibilities in her church. She even wrote a book (although she had to self-publish)! She laments that her calling is not her job, but she sees this as maybe being her retirement job. In the meantime, she continues to study and grow in her work (not in her job, but in her calling).
I have come to realize that this friend has taught me a very valuable lesson.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I guess there's always something, right? Still, that's pretty cool that you get to do this :-)
I do not miss having to work! So I guess I'm living full time.
that's good for the woman she has found something she loves she can do past the time she retires from her job.
yes, it's important to just be able to support yourself with a job, and i, for one, believe that while it's wonderful to love what you do, that many people are just counting on their job to be able to live off of. (i know, not the most positive comment on my end).
but yeah, it's good to have other involvements going on in your life outside of your job. i'm now looking for those as i have changed around my exercise and still changing it, and i now seem to have more time to myself at home again...plus all these days off recently due to holidays and stuff - i find myself not being so stressed as i used to be. it's a good feeling, but also a dull feeling...that i should be doing something more.
I think we all need something to look forward to, though. :-)
Day 14: Intention: May I see the positive in every situation. Mantra: Let go and let God.
I decided to sign up for Library Yin Yoga tonight rather than the Waste Free seminar. I attended a recycling seminar earlier this year, and I think most of the information will be duplicated.
A few steps for my Yoga Journey:
I came across a blog or a YouTube video from a woman who is a part-time yoga instructor. She said that when she started HER yoga journey, she was so shy about it that she only did videos in her home - for years - before she sought out a public class. She wrote (or spoke) that she wished that she had had the courage to reach out for real-life instruction sooner. The videos were fine and all, but that her practice came into a whole new level once she had that human connection.
I found this insight to be helpful in formulating my own Yoga Journey. It's hard for me to step out of my comfort zone - introvert that I am - and join other people. However, I can see that to get to the level I want to reach, I will have to do some homework on my own, at home, as well. I want a nice balance of real life and at home.
I may seem indulgent in seeking out guidance from TWO yoga studios - plus the free opportunities that I keep finding - but I want to learn from a diverse group of teachers, with different approaches and perspectives. I don't know if that is the BEST method to becoming adept at yoga, but for now, at least, this is the path I'm laying out for my journey.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I want to comment on the introvert situation - one good thing is during yoga the focus is not on conversation but on your practice. so, it's more structured. as an introvert, i prefer that type of social situation, maybe you also do.
like legs, i like your approach and you are def branching out and learning a TON about yoga and the styles / and teachers!
Day 13, Supplemental
This is not part of my Yoga Journey, but I wanted to mention that I did dye my hair last night. This was nothing related to age, grey hair, or feeling old. This was about wanting a change. Something about the change in seasons and change in the colors outside, just wanted made me want to warn things up with the image I see when I look in the mirror.
My hair is medium to dark brown (and grey), so I went with a dark blond, to light everything up, but I ended up with a lovely, warm reddish brown color, which is just what I wanted. I used a better quality product, which was much kinder on my hair and scalp.
I'm quite pleased!
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
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Thank goodness it's friday...hope all works out for your son......
legcramps on 10/25/2019:
I hope things work out for your son...but you're right, all you can do is support him from where you are and hope for the best. I hope you are able to de-stress somewhere along the way.
grannyannie on 10/25/2019:
I hope everything turns out okay with your son! I worry about both of mine even though they are in their 40's.
happy-1 on 10/26/2019:
Hugs. Breathe.