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Donkey - Friday Jul 02, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

Last night was really difficult, emotionally.  I was feeling anxious and that developed into depression.  I started feel so hopeless, with nowhere to turn.  It was getting late (after 10p), so I decided to TRY to sleep, if I could fall asleep - and fortunately, I was able to fall asleep without too much difficulty.  Woke up this morning - quite early, just after 4am -  feeling much more optimistic.  

I've been noticing with this weight loss, I have been struggling more on an emotional level.  Anxiety, loneliness, sadness...  I think this is a chemical thing going on, because of less calories, less carbs.  Also, I need to keep in mind that with TOM starting (maybe?  My uterus seems to not be able to make up its mind about that...), that hormones are going to be very influential in my moods.  So best not to feel too "hopeless" because all of this will most likely be temporary.

Mistakes Girl and I are the only legal assistants in the office today, so there will be more pressure to cover phones, but hopefully, at  least in the afternoon, the phones will get quiet, with people starting their holiday weekend early.  In fact, Husband brought up the possibility that I might get to leave the office early, out of the Boss' generosity.  I know not to expect this, but wouldn't that be nice?  I've already decided that if I do get to leave around 3pm, that Husband and I will go out for coffee.  (The loan officer that screamed at me on Wednesday sent me a gift card as a thank you yesterday.  <<<I just realized that the card was probably mailed out before the screaming started.  Oh well...)

The 2 associates (Associate Attorney and New Guy) have closings today, so the Boss will have no one to talk to except the 2 of us gals.  That just gets so annoying, because it's nothing of substance.  It's all small talk.  I have to think that maybe he and his wife DON'T speak to each other much when he's home, and he has this desperate need to talk.

Also, I realized yesterday that this weekend is the 2-year anniversary of his heart attack.


MORNING EDIT:  Since I got up so early, I had plenty of time to take a walk around my neighborhood loop.  I should do this more often!  I found myself smiling at birds, trees, beautiful flowers...

It might be a higher coffee day, because of the early wake-up, and that's OK too.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/02/2021:
I do see you’re doing great on the weight loss per your graph. Nice! Ppl who restrict their calories or fast say they feel better mentally. Always the same for me. Can’t do fasts, but can restrict calories and I just fell hungry, not anxious or depressed. Often emotions are inexplicable.

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
Thank you! And you are right about the mental clarity and such, which is why I'm thinking these negative sensations are hormonal and fatigue related. It's important that I remind myself that whatever I am feeling (negatively) will only be temporary, and that I just have to ride it out.

I suffered from major depression from at least the age of 10 through my early 20's. I thought it would never end.


bearcountrygg on 07/03/2021:
When I get anxiety...or get edgy/depressed...i take tylenol...it seems to settle me right down.

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
THAT might not be a bad idea, especially at night, to help me relax. Actually, that might work, too, at work! I'm going to keep this tip in my pocket and give it a try.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2021:
i am glad you woke up feeling better than you did last night. lately, i only feel anxious time to time, but no depression.

that's why i cannot do the low carb. it has def caused me to feel low energy/depressed in the past.

i'm glad you got a gift card! have fun using it. def don't take the sceams of that loan officer to heart.

i can't believe it's already been two years since boss' heart attack. the time flies.

isn't it nice when a morning has extra time (on work days) and you can feel so accomplished and realize you have already got things done before the workday has started!? :)

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
Good points on the carbs! When I start feeling that sad feeling at night, I "hear" Bear in my head saying, "Carbs are happy foods, and I want to be happy!" However, for right now, I do not self-medicate with carbs at night. For me, that can be a slippery slope. However, if I do find myself unable to cope, I might have a sheet of graham crackers and take a Tylenol (as she suggested to me above), and go to bed.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2021:
also, do not be fearful of your weightloss. i think it may be anxiety over the change, donkey, of your weight, as well as any changes in eating. try to let the change stick. you are doing well and push yourself to reap the rewards. do not get into a mindset that you cannot continue this - you are doing exceptionally well right now - like the best you have done in a year! that is celebration deserved. keep your motivation as well as your self assurance that this is something you can do.

Donkey on 07/03/2021:
100% RIGHT - and I really appreciate that you wrote this.

I got myself "unstuck" and moving forward again. WOW!



Donkey - Thursday Jul 01, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

Thank you, Thursday!!!!  It's finally here, the day that I kept thinking it was. And it's a new month - HAPPY JULY!!!  


Yesterday at work was very trying.  I seriously thought about quitting. Just along the lines of: Is this job really worth it?  I was getting screamed at by a loan officer (mortgage broker) to "do my job" on something that wasn't my job (it was the attorney but our Associate Attorney is such a goof off and loser that he wasn't going to do anything about it until forced to at the closing table) and something that wasn't even my doing.  I submit figures to the title company for closing.  I check math, but I don't ask for the removal of figures that I didn't submit.  If the loan officer wants a $$ figure removed, ASK FOR IT YOURSELF, YOU BIG DUMMY.  That was my morning yesterday.

Then, out of the blue, Nice Lady changes procedure and starts uploading attachments and printing documents on files that aren't hers!!!  Just out of the blue!!!  See, as Male Co-Worker explained it to me, she really regrets complaining about having too much work to do and regrets that the Boss has hired a part-timer to do most of her job.  So now she's like in overdrive, trying to work on as much as possible.  Plus, she's bored, so she makes this "extra work" for herself, but it messes up my files.  It took me 15 minutes to figure out what she had done and to make corrections.  Plus, she didn't print out the documents on the right sized paper, so I had to re-print them.  Thank goodness she's out tomorrow and all of next week.  GOOD-BYE.  And when she returns the New Girl will have started.


Eating was fine.  I resisted having the chicken broth for a morning snack, trying to avoid the extra sodium for a day.  I got very hungry but held off until (an earlier) lunch at noon.  I developed a headache in the morning, which I don't know if that was because of the stress of getting screamed at, low blood sugar, allergies, or TOM --- which has started unexpectedly a week early.

Daughter said she'd go to the gym with me last night but then she went out during the day and didn't come home until late, starving for dinner and time with her mom (which is so nice).  So I sat with her while she had her dinner and we talked.  I really wanted to go to the gym, but my body was giving me signals that maybe it wasn't a good idea.  When TOM starts, there is a lot of fatigue in my legs (because of the anemia), and while I was getting ready for bed -- which would have been at the same time I would be arriving at the gym -- I started yawning.  So logically, I think I made the right decision, but emotionally, I was quite disappointed that I didn't make it to the gym. 

One really good thing that happened though is that Daughter helped me move my weight-bench.  I didn't want to ask Husband to do it, but it's a 2 person job.  Now I can use the squat rack for squats (and variations thereof). I had been wanting to set this up for a while, and now it's done.  Took less than a minute.


NEW MONTH, NEW GOALS!

  • 3 sets of 15 daily push-ups (modified or "girl" style because of my lower back) - maybe do these at work during the week, as a break from sitting at my desk, getting screamed at.
  • Make it to the gym during the work week at 1x per week, probably on Wednesdays, which is a cardio-only day.
  • Stick to using the Lose It app to reach weight goal THIS MONTH, even if it pushes out my goal date.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/01/2021:
Maybe it’s time to give Walmart a whirl! That job and those ppl sound so stressful.

Use the sodium free granulated buillion! The regular has close to a gram of sodium. I’m gonna post a pic for you.

Donkey on 07/02/2021:
Thank you for posting the picture! Yes, I've got to try the sodium free stuff, because this much salt on a long-term basis isn't a good thing.

I realized as I was coming home yesterday that working at Walmart wouldn't be working with a shining example of humanity either. I'm sure that rude customer a-holes are much worse than the BS I deal with at work. So now I don't know...


horn_of_plenty on 07/01/2021:
i'm loving this new month. Honestly, it's a relaxed atmosphere right now in my job trailer. I'm really thankful because it's sort of the release / break i needed to feel at this point. Plus being able to take days off with ease because it's summer - July is welcome! :)

Do you think that this "overdrive" that nice lady is in will last? sometimes people push it, but usually they slow back down again...

you can always use half the boullion and then it'd be like using half the salt of the package..

My TOM also started a little early. I think the others' cycles in the trailer has caused that. i don't mind ;)

so happy you can now use the weight bench and squat rack.

i'm a big fan of your pushup goals. pushups are what i attribute my stronger looking upper body to - almost entirely.

have a good day - today i may walk outside for cardio - after a big rain storm, it's quite nice and comfortable. tomorrow it may rain!

Donkey on 07/02/2021:
I think Nice Lady is trying to earn the extra money she gets for doing these certain tasks while she can, because she knows very soon, someone else will be doing these things.



Donkey - Wednesday Jun 30, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

This is the longest week ever... Well, not ever, but I've had this feeling before.  Yesterday afternoon felt like a Thursday.  You mean it's not Friday tomorrow?  Not even close.

I went to bed on time last night, around 9:30pm, but I did not sleep well, and woke up exhausted.  I woke up when Husband came to bed.  I woke up at 3:23am worries that Old Kitty might be locked in Daughter's room, so I got up to make sure her door was opened (it was).  Why didn't I just stay up and have a really productive early morning?  No, I went back to bed for another fitful 2 hours of sleep, dreaming that my mother was upset with me because I couldn't get my eyeliner applied.  Finally DRAGGED myself out of bed at 5:42am...

I didn't have a lot of time to do upper body weights in the morning, so I made up for that last night and had a very good weight session.  However, I can't say that I felt inspired by it. It certainly didn't feel "awesome" or anything wonderful.  But it got done, and I'm glad it did so.

I did well with calories, thanks to having a morning cup of chicken broth for snack.  It's a lot of sodium though.


I can't believe it's only Wednesday.  I have a lofty goal of going to the gym tonight -- kind of getting a head start on that goal for July.  So I probably won't get my full 7 hours of sleep, but that's OK.  However, we'll see if this happens.  It will depend on how much energy I have at the end of the day.


Husband got a call yesterday afternoon from some doctor about his CT scan.  His GI tract is fine (of course - they can never find anything wrong that is causing his problems) but they are saying now that he has severe fatty liver.  SEVERE.  So the VA is going to connect him to a Registered Dietician.  He also needs to follow up with his GI doctor.  The #1 way to reduce the problems of a fatty liver is to LOSE WEIGHT.  Well, good luck with that because I've been trying to get him to lose weight for the past 20 years, which he has done, from time to time, only to have his weight creep back up and surpass 300 pounds.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 06/30/2021:
My husband was having abdominal pain and the CT showed nothing except normal OA type aging. I’ve read most everyone over 30 has some. What burned my butt more was reading how the average woman shrinks 2 inches between 30-70. Geez. I’m short enough.

Would your husband consider some kind of bariatric surgery? I would if all else failed & I was quite obese. My understanding is most insurances pay for it these days because health consequences further down the road may cost them even more. That’s what the nurse across the street at my old house told me when she had hers.

Donkey on 07/01/2021:
Bariatric surgery can be a recommended treatment strategy for fatty liver. I don't know if that would work for my husband because of his auto-immune and GI issues, though.

You know, he calls me up so worried about his test results, but last night, had 2nd helpings and was talking about making a bacon-wrapped meatloaf in the grill. You wonder why I get so frustrated with people who have a "last hurrah" binge before "starting my diet" --- well, now you know why. Can't tell you how many times I've seen this with my husband, only that he doesn't get started on the diet.

So in a way, bariatric surgery would be very good for him because it would FORCE him (for the most part) to change his eating habits.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/30/2021:
in terms of the week feeling long; it's going to be the last full week for me now until July 19th!

Next week, we have off for the 5th in observance for the 4th. Then, i'm taking off the following 14th/15th. The 14th, a wednesday, is the "free day" where my family won't have to pay for me ($20) to attend the beach. I then decided to not have to rush with them and rush home after dinner..so i took the next day off as well - but mostly to study.

A lot of people are taking off days here and there in my trailer as it's common in summer for people to want to do this and i've seen it all the years i've worked in the industry. I knew this also, that it being summer, my time at work will be more flexible! i hope you can also take time later as i know some of your coworkers are taking off now. Summer is def a popular time to take time.

Personally, I will not take any full 5-days/weeks off from work at once. I'll conserve them so work / life is more manageable this year.

Sorry your sleep was poor - that will make the days feel like they are dragging. lately, my sleep is good...and i cannot even be too annoyed that i'm waking up late as i do feel generally pretty good at work - i haven't had that horrible exhausted feeling i felt when i was younger when i really wasn't sleeping enough, thankfully.

if you can get good sleep tomorrow, i'd say enjoy the gym tonight. it's up to you :) maybe it will give you some endorphins that last and help you into the rest of the week!

oh my i didn't know your husband was 300. he would feel so much better if he lost the weight. if he was working, it'd prob be "easier" to maintain because of a schedule. when he is home, alone, not able to exercise, he prob gives into temptation a lot.

it's too bad he cannot do what you do and plan and cut up veggie slices .... he has the time at home to have long lunches, which could include lots of veggies, drinking seltzer all day (i'm assuming he has no food limitations). we'll see if maybe you can teach him some new tricks.

if i were home all day, i'd do all kinds of things to keep my mouth and hands busy, eating, like i already do at times...there's lots of healthy things that do not ruin a diet that you can eat a lot of. the other foods are still OK - all of them - but he's got to not have more than a "typical serving" of those....

i know it's hard. i have a coworker that is also prob around 250-300. he love all food, especially junk food. he eats it all day, bites here and there. and sometimes the lunches he brings are horrid and just put him over. his wife always bakes cakes and she is quite a chef. so it's hard on him for that too. i wish she'd not keep making him steamed veggies when he could easily have sauteed ones, that are still healthy and lower cal than a pizza.

Donkey on 07/01/2021:
Ok I admit I'm a little jealous that this is your last full week for a while...

I do have to take a little time off in July though to renew my driver's license. I have by August 1st to do so. I anticipate that will take at least half a day.

Losing weight is a double-edged blade for my husband because the fat cushions the joints that are in pain from the AS (arthritis) -- so he says. But the extra weight also puts a lot of stress on his joints, I point out and he knows this.

He has very little relief in life and eating is something that makes him feel good, at least in the moment. He's not in an easy spot.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/30/2021:
Once again, i am sorry of the severe fatty liver. i know some asians have it in their DNA to get it early in life. But i'm really sorry for your hubby. it would be good if he could manage it.

Donkey on 07/01/2021:
I hope so, but read my comment to Jacky, above. So frustrating.

I told him that I'd like to go with him to his dietician appointment if they will allow me in, and if he's OK with it.


Jacky82020 on 07/01/2021:
I think anyone more than a 100 pds overweight can qualify for bariatric surgery. Used to be anyways. My cousin was self employed and didn’t have insurance, so she got it cheaper in Mexico. They did a good job and it worked out well for her. Her father was a baker & brought home all kinds of baked goods. The entire family was fat. She got a wake up call when her father suddenly went into cardiac arrest & dropped dead. He was barely 50.



Donkey - Tuesday Jun 29, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

I was tempted to post again last night, after yoga, but decided to wait until today, to have a new entry today.   Regret that because I'm really crunched for time this morning, but I *HAD* to write to say....

THANK YOU HAPPY --- I used the "one pebble at a time" phrase you wrote as my mantra last night during meditation (during yoga).  Really loved that.  Very helpful.  Thank you!

THANK YOU JACKY --- used chicken boullion with hot red pepper flakes as my morning snack. Low calorie and very satisfying.  This is a *game changer* for my morning snacks at work.  This really helped keep my calories in check yesterday and was quite satisfying on many levels (warmth, flavor, savory).

Turns out I did not need to wake up early to take Husband to his CT scan appointment.  The appointment changed, so he was able to drive himself, because...

The car rear window was replaced!  Looks nice, and we're told it's a much better window than what comes from the car manufacturer.  Rather than shattering, this glass is designed to fracture but stay intact, upon impact.  So no flying glass if there's a rear-ender.  But there won't be one of those, right?  RIGHT.

Did very well with calories yesterday. My upper body weights were very short (just 1 tricep and 1 bicep exercise each, 3 sets) so that I would still have time to write here today.

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/29/2021:
Good news on the window front....sounds a lot safer.

Donkey on 06/30/2021:
Definitely!!! And I know that this incident greatly bothered my husband. Now that it's fixed, he's greatly relieved.


Jacky82020 on 06/29/2021:
Glad you like it, Donkey. I use the sodium free bullion granules. Buy in bulk from Amazon. And the Walmart Louisiana hot sauce. Turns out to be lowest in sodium among the hot sauces I know of & inexpensive.

Donkey on 06/30/2021:
Oh THANK YOU again - all I have are the full sodium bullion cubes and I am very aware of how hard these can be on a body, with all that extra sodium. I want to use up what I have, so I will get some sodium free bullion too, and use them in a combo, to lower the sodium without compromising the flavor too much.

Then I will switch to all sodium free, for sure.


horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2021:
chicken boullion with hot red pepper flakes...might even make you poop right!? sometimes a hot soup or salty liquid has that effect on me lol.

so glad to hear your window was replaced already.

same as you, exercises were great yesterday! maybe it's just the time of year when we start to feel good & energized. i'm more energized this week!

Donkey on 06/30/2021:
I'll write about this more today (Wednesday), but I am not feeling particularly energized this week :-( This is where discipline and dedication take over.



Donkey - Monday Jun 28, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

I had the opportunity to go to sleep at the proper time last night (9pm) but opted to watch TV until almost 10p.  Oh well... I had no problems falling asleep, and that's good.  Also, I woke up a little early, before my alarm, to the sound of heavy rain, and getting out of bed wasn't impossible.

Yesterday, Sunday, was odd-feeling.  Kind of empty, with not much to do.  Also, was feeling a bit anxious about calling my mom, but I felt it was a good conversation.  Had a GREAT workout at the gym.  Had a lovely, quiet evening too. Oh and most important, I took a NAP!  I hardly ever take naps, but this was so nice to do (lol). 

I've been thinking that, for July, I'd like to start going to the gym during the week 1x-2x, to get more out of my membership and to change things up a little bit.  Also thinking about doing a push-ups challenge, but not sure about that...  My hesitation in this is that there are some stressors in July that might impede this goal:  

  • Holiday weekend, which makes the short week afterwards even busier.
  • Husband and Daughter are traveling to see my mom and brother (& his family) for 4-5 days, so I will be alone. 
  • And after they come back, Mistakes Girl is taking a week's vacation, which means Queen Bee will be back. 

So there's all of that.

But right now, I'm going to focus on today and tomorrow:

  • Had a nice bike ride this morning
  • Car window is getting fixed today (hopefully)
  • Yoga tonight
  • Going to bed EARLY so that I can wake up early and ride my bike before I have to drive with Husband for his CT scan.  The VA hospital is over an hour's drive away, and his appointment is at 8am.  I will be going into work late, and I am NOT going to RUSH to get back to the office.  I'll go when I'm ready.

Have a great day everyone!

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/28/2021:
OH...I love naps.....except those naps that are hard to wake up from and I'm foggy for the rest of the day...Don't like those....the funny thing is...i have never been able to nap sitting in a chair...but wonder of wonders...since I got old....It happens rather I expect it or not...it's a new one on me...and just started in the last year....not sure how I feel about it...LOL Oh my goodness...a push up challenge...I'm awed by that!! I don't think I have done more than 2 or 3 in a row in my life...MORE POWER TO YOU!!!!

Donkey on 06/29/2021:
I find that I get visible results by the end of the month, when I've done push-up challenges in the past. I'm thinking maybe 3 sets of 15 a day. Not too taxing. The hardest part is to remember to do them daily.


Jacky82020 on 06/28/2021:
Nice you can get to sleep quickly! Never could. Watch TV until at least 11 and still can’t do it. Can’t nap either. The sleep gods have cursed me.

Donkey on 06/29/2021:
There is a think called the "sleep gene" and some people, genetically, just don't need a lot of sleep. Maybe you've actually been blessed? (Probably doesn't feel that way...)


Horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2021:
i had the same challenge as you. couldn't fall asleep and played with my phone an hour in bed till 10pm too. sometimes after a weekend, it's hard to push oneself to fall asleep when your mind is not ready to!

well, if the holiday impedes the goal, perhaps take it easier around those times, but when it's not a holiday week - observe your challenge! ...umm..."you can have your cake and eat it too!" haha...you can have both a nice July and some workout challenges. I"m an all or nothing person too...but it's important for us to strive for the balance right? just my own suggestion :)

oh WOW. you will be alone 4-5 days. how will you spend the time? will you just recharge a little?

Donkey on 06/29/2021:
I'm re-thinking the parameters for the goal. I think this will work, except for the week of July 19th, when we'll be short-staffed. Maybe I can get Daughter to go with me, as an incentive to myself.

I plan to recharge while I'm alone. What I'm most worried about is eating, because Husband prepares all the meals lately. So I need to think a little bit more about what to eat.


Jacky82020 on 06/29/2021:
Have you tried the Healthy Choice frozen meals? Delicious, especially the ravioli.



Donkey - Sunday Jun 27, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

Good morning!  Changed things up a little bit in my Sunday morning routine, and that's fine (I think).  Broke up my morning bike ride into 2 shorter sessions, taking a break in the middle to have breakfast and add comments to yesterday's entry.  This was prompted so that I could ride my bike while watching TV shows that I wanted to catch, rather than riding the bike, and then just sitting on my butt watching TV.  So that part is a victory, but I think it's better to delay actually eating breakfast for as long as one can.  I guess I ate, because I was quite hungry this morning, LOL, and that's a good reason to eat.  :-)

I went a little over calories yesterday - and probably went over a little more than what Lose It told me, because of a few miscellaneious bites.  Even with "overeating", the app moved up my goal date to July 26th.  So staying consistent for the most part.  Maintenance will be interesting, because I have had many moments where I wanted to eat more.  So I plan to use the app after I reach goal.

Not too much on the agenda today except going to the gym and calling my mom.  That's OK.

 

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2021:
So sorry to have fallen being your entry as well as everyone elses since last Friday or so! it happens to me!

anyways, i'll start by making comments here on your former entries and come back later to comment on this entry.

and um, i still have a hard time thinking it's ok to have the dog poop there. she should have brought poop pads then! seriously come on!

and yes, i have heard countless times that stress can cause/exacerbate shingles.

you say the prob with waking up early is getting hungry early! i can so relate, except for this new job weirdly enough. i think there's also a point at which waking up early becomes "too early." when i wake up that early, my appetite is still supressed.

i do not think your legs will always ffeel sore from workouts. like you mentino in your Friday entry. If the workout includes moves you have done regularly, i do not think you will always be sore. now with upper, i only feel sore after doing a good workout after maybe skipping it a day or two and then coming back after more days of rest...

Donkey on 06/28/2021:
What she should have done is taken the dogs for a short walk when she got back to the office. Looking back, I think the collie was giving us signals that she had to go, but we just ignored them.

The stress of the commute could be contributing to your suppressed appetite in the morning. Or maybe the stress of it still being a relatively new job. HEY, I guess that's a good sign that I'm hungry in the morning if it means that I'm not stressed, right? I really like that!


Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2021:
you are doing VERY VERY well at your weight loss! i would advise to remember that and realize you are totally doing it and succeeding. and realize that you are in total control and capable of this when you want to be! it seems your eyes are set on the weight loss prize right now. Whatever you were doing before, the changes you have made now to make it work...are working.

ouch. I'm very sorry to hear about the hatchback door incident. i hope your hubby is ok. and that insurance will cover it? does it? once again, no matter, i am really sorry!

your day yesterday was very involved and busy. you sound like you got a lot done. :) i'm sure it all feels good.

i will comment a bit later on your today's entry.

Donkey on 06/28/2021:
Yes, you are right about acknowledging what I've accomplished so far, and I am sure I don't give myself enough credit. Right now, I have to be more focused on food & diet, to achieve my goal. I know it won't always be like that, where I'm vigilant about weighing food or measuring portions.

The cost to repair the window is manageable, actually, and lower than our deductible. It's just a matter of getting it done. And with the rainy weather and medical appointments and lack of that 2nd car to drive around, it's just a little more difficult.

We're basically 2 adults with only 1 drivable car right now.


Jacky82020 on 06/27/2021:
Congrats on getting closer to your goal. I find reading or watching TV makes bike time more tolerable, but I often get distracted and slow down.

Donkey on 06/28/2021:
See my comment to Horn below about how useful TV is as a motivational tool (LOL) - at least when it comes to exercising.

(The bad thing is that I could easily slip into watching TV at night & eating -- done that and gained a LOT of weight back.)

I'm glad that you pointed out about getting distracted. That DOES happen to me, too. What I try to do is to get into a cadence or rhythm with the pedaling at the faster pace - not a high intensity but just slightly faster. Once I hit that, I seem to be able to sustain it, but I have to be aware that I'm not at that point, in order to push myself to go a little faster.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2021:
Like Jacky mentioned above, great idea to ride bike during TV shows. i love to do that and also while on some phone calls!

and a few bites of overeating = not a big deal compared to a whole piece of cake, etc. or a few tablespoons pb, etc. a few bites of food is less damaging if it all.

sometimes with my veggies (and sometimes rice at work), i will have a few more bites (more with veggies) bc i know they are filling and low cal and will just fill me and help me stay full, at work especially, at lunch.

Donkey on 06/28/2021:
Many times, it's the TV shows that are the ONLY motivation for me to hop on my bike or do weights when I'd rather not.

I feel the same way about vegetables. An extra bite or 2 of green vegetables isn't going to break the scale. So while I am measuring out my vegetable portions right now, I'm a little more relaxed about them too.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2021:
the above comment i made means even if i'm "full," i'll have the rest of my lunch since i preportion it and i know it will not affect my calories very much if i eat it or don't. so like i was saying, depenidng on what you had a few bites of, it may not matter too much (and usually doesn't!)

Donkey on 06/28/2021:
Yes, that's how I read your comment. I agree!


legcramps on 06/28/2021:
Hi Donkey, what is Lose it? Is it a weight loss app?

Donkey on 06/28/2021:
Yes, Lose It is a free app. InnerPeace recommended it. There is a basic free version (which I'm using right now) and the "premium" version - where you can track more stats and link it to your Fitbit data - for a minimal and reasonable price. I believe IP has the premium version, and I'm actually considering trying it out too.


legcramps on 06/28/2021:
How long have you been using it?



Donkey - Saturday Jun 26, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 138.5

Well, look at that weigh-in this morning - oh YEAH!!!!  I was envisioning 137 in my mind, but as I was stepping on the scale, I was like, I'd be happy to lose *anything*. 


As Husband said to me this morning, We've had a couple of rough days.  Yesterday was stressful:

  • Got reduced sleep - FitBit says just over 6 hours, and frankly I think it was less, because before I turn off the light, my body gets so relaxed that the FitBit reads it as light sleep but it's not, because I'm obviously awake.
  • Prepping for hazerdous material pick-up event Saturday - conversation about what they will take and what they won't (at this event)
  • Work, while no major drama, was stressful, just by definition: phone calls, emails, just non-stop.
  • Derick Chauvin sentencing verdict - and trying to listen to it while being distracted by work, and then the hearing just went on and on and on with personal statements....  Good Lord.  So I missed the actual reading of the sentencing.
  • In the middle of all of this, Husband calls me at work to say that he had a mishap with our new car and broke out the rear window in the hatchback door.  He's had previous problems manuvering the hatchback door, and now this.  
  • Husband's Medicare appointment with the nurse, for COVID follow-up today
  • Husband getting CT scan on his GI on Tuesday and his barium contrast hasn't shown up and can't be tracked because the VA tracking system is down.  I guess if there's no barium, then the appointment will have to be re-scheduled.
  • My husband kept asking me not to be mad at him, but actually, I was just so numb from the car damage and so tired, that I just retreated into silence, which I think he mistook for anger. I'm actually quite grateful that it wasn't something worse with the car - like an actual crash, or actual harm to him, physically.

UGH, so just a number of things stressing us out right now.  That's where I'm at.


But today is Saturday, and even though it's raining out, and very humid when it's not raining, I have made good use of my time off so far! 

  • I'm working on cleaining the main level a little bit for the nurse's visit, so that it smells better.
  • Did 2 loads of laundry.  Trying to get them dry, which is hard to do in the humidity, even though the AC is on.  (Turned it on last night.)
  • NEED to go to the bank and cash out 2 checks and deposit 3 others.  Delayed this far too long.
  • Gym time for sure, both today and Sunday.
  • Refill cat supper dishes and fill up dispensing containers.
  • Be here for Husband's nurse appointment this afternoon.  (I just don't think it's a good idea to leave him alone with a stranger, or with an unfamiliar woman.  So just being careful.)
  • Call Mom on Sunday before she leaves for her trip on Monday.

It's gonna be a great day!!!

Progress as of today: 48 lbs lost so far, only 3.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 06/26/2021:
My Fitbit always said I was sleeping while I was watching TV. No longer wear it in bed. Not solely because of that, found other metrics useless, but interesting at first.

Have you tried online banking? I haven’t stepped into a bank for decades. I have a $225 check from an overcharge by a health care provider and will take a photo with the bank app on my iPad.

A shame about your car! Will insurance help? It wouldn’t for me, as we’ve only ever had liability with the highest deductible the carrier provides. Hopefully they’ll get to the CT soon!

Donkey on 06/27/2021:
Normally, I would have deposited these checks by using my phone, but 2 of the checks - from this particular Payor - I *always* cash out. Might seem silly, but I've been doing this for a while as sort of a "project". So I *had* to go to the bank. On Saturdays, they're only open to noon. The past 2 weekends, I was busy in the mornings and missed it. It's hard for me to go to the bank during the week when I work. The branch near my work has very dangerous in/out on a busy road so I prefer to go to the branch closer to my home.

Donkey on 06/27/2021:
I'm so surprised, but it will be manageable to replace the window! I was thinking it'd be at least $1000, but it's much less, so we will just pull from our reserves. This is supposed to happen Monday if the weather cooperates.

I'm afraid you're right about the Fitbit. Still, I let the numbers kind of mess with mind a little :-)


bearcountrygg on 06/26/2021:
Sounds like things are piling on top at your house too.......That's a bummer about the window and medical appt.....hope all goes well with those. Nice weigh in!!!

Donkey on 06/27/2021:
It was a productive day yesterday, and everything went well. Husband and I will both feel better after the window is replaced, and that will happen, so no need to worry about it, right? (At least that's what I tell myself to keep calm.)

Thanks! I'm glad that I found something to help me get down to a more comfortable weight. I've been struggling with the 10 pounds from COVID, since around April 2020. I'm going to pick up one of my 10-pound weights and just visualize that this is what I've been carrying around with me for the past year and more.

Donkey on 06/27/2021:
It was a productive day yesterday, and everything went well. Husband and I will both feel better after the window is replaced, and that will happen, so no need to worry about it, right? (At least that's what I tell myself to keep calm.)

Thanks! I'm glad that I found something to help me get down to a more comfortable weight. I've been struggling with the 10 pounds from COVID, since around April 2020. I'm going to pick up one of my 10-pound weights and just visualize that this is what I've been carrying around with me for the past year and more.

Donkey on 06/27/2021:
Every time I try to delete the 2nd comment (duplicate), I get an orange screen. Grr... >:-[



Donkey - Friday Jun 25, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 139.5

The problem with waking up early is that I want to start eating early (especially since lately, I've been waking up hungry).  And today will probably require more coffee, which means more calories from the heavy whipping cream creamer.  I will need to monitor calories & macros a little more carefully today.

I was awake at 4:15a-ish but stayed in bed until almost 4:30a.  I'm surprised because I stayed up late last night (almost 10:30p) catching up with Daughter (which was nice).  When I woke up this morning, I struggled to remember if it was Saturday or Friday. 

Last night, I cranked out a great leg workout.  I surprised myself, even, to do the extra exercises. I'm a little disappointed that my legs aren't sore this morning, but I'm glad not to have that inconvenience to deal with.  I was tired, but felt inspired to push myself, and the more I worked, the more energized I felt, so that's why I ended up doing 4 exercises rather than just 1 or 2.


Work Dramas (not too much):

  • The concensus is that nobody will mention to the Boss about the dog pooping on the floor unless he figures it out.

 

  • They hired the New Girl pretty much right on the spot.  She's not vaccinated.  My Boss was asking all sorts of inappropriate questions:  "You're not vaccinated?  Why not?  You're afraid of the shot?  Oh there's nothing to it..."  He asked her if she has any kids (no) and found out that she lives in a condo (so maintenance-free) -- no "distractions" to keep her from working.  "Are the people you work with at your other job vaccinated?"  OMG....   So her days are M/Th/F, but they are having her start on Wednesday, July 6th.  Now how does THAT make any sense?  Good grief.  Oh well, I'm not involved with training her, and she's not sitting by me, so I won't have to worry about her too much.  And now the Boss will have someone new to tell his old stories to and talk about weekend plans and such.  Great.

Anyway, time to get this day really started and get through it so that I can start my weekend - WOO HOO!

Progress as of today: 47 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 06/25/2021:
I hate waking up early because I get hungry earlier. Bummer!

Donkey on 06/26/2021:
I think I compensated with more coffee and water. You're right though - it's a bummer.

However, if I were retired or working part-time, I think I would readjust my schedule. WHY DO I NEED SO MUCH SLEEP?


Jacky82020 on 06/26/2021:
Some people need more sleep than others. I happen to need less, but sometimes can’t get a decent 5 hours in. I’d only be concerned about needing more if it was sudden onset and significantly more. Then again these things often come and go.



Donkey - Thursday Jun 24, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 139.5

Regrets.  Last night, as I finsihed my bike ride down in the basement and started heading on upstairs, I was kicking myself for not going to the gym instead.  I could have varied my evening "routine" and made it to the gym.  As it was, I didn't end up turning off the light until slightly after 10pm, which was another kick in the psyche.  Well, being down on myself isn't going to help anything, but I was disappointed in myself for not really thinking things through and just sliding into my "comfort zone" routine.  Bleah...

Part of the problem was that I worked later.  The Boss went home at 2pm, and I was *really* hoping to leave at 4:45p - like that one time I did and it made me so happy to do that - but when I saw that wasn't going to happen, then I decided to do the extra time and set myself up for a better day today.

Work was stressful and at a brisk pace, but no flare-ups or anything dramatic.  Just a lot of problems.  And OMG, the new contracts just keep coming in.  This takes up SO much of my time, but I can't see letting that go.  It's helpful to review the contract and see what's what, make notes for the file later on, once it's open.  It just takes TIME.

But I think the more major concern is that the Boss is getting another break-out of the shingles.  Apparently, he wasn't able to get the vaccine shot because of COVID.  So now he's got another flare.  He's taking pills to mediate the symptoms, so it's not as bad as a full-blown break-out, but UGH, still very painful and distracting.  He definitely won't be operating at 100% (which is a struggle even without the shingles), and I'm not sure if he'll even come to work.  I'm anticipating him taking short days for a while.

Also, Nice Lady brought her dogs to the office, after their appointment at the groomer, so that she could finish up some work, and the big collie took a BIG dump right in the middle of the office.  Good thing the Boss wasn't around - he was downstairs in the lunchroom, for a 2+ hour lunch, probably contemplating going home.

I don't know if New Guy is still eating clean, but I noticed that he is not losing weight or getting lean.  Maybe he's bulking up first, and then thinning out.  His waistline seems to be expanding and his pants look uncomfortable around the belt.  Everyone I work with has gained weight.  I get motivated by other people's success; well, I won't find that at work, that's for sure.

 I'm probably being a little harsh :-(

Progress as of today: 47 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/24/2021:
Nope...not being harsh.......Bosses shingles are caused by EXTREME STRESS......had them...so has D...so did my Mom and Grandmother...and every single time it was with an extreme situation.......I think you are being way too hard on yourself...instead of regret for the way you handled exercise last night...look at it as a lesson..of what not to do....but remember....Maya Angelou said ( maybe misquoting here a little)...but....she said.....We always do the best we can do at any given moment knowing what we know.......or something like that...so...your subconscious took over...and that is good......I will look her quote up and put it in my diary today....Try not to regret...try not to punish yourself...look at it as a lesson.....and then go with whatever happens....we are all students who will learn until the day we die....sometimes we do things and get down on ourselves.....but they are lessons in how to make decisions in the future....There is another quote about mistakes i will look up too...

Donkey on 06/25/2021:
I saw the quotes - thank you! I loved both of them.

You're right about having regrets. And I realized that I was being too hard on myself, but on the other hand, I was also being honest with my feelings. Like you said, it's a lesson learned.


Jacky82020 on 06/24/2021:
I have a running feud with the husband for not turning off lights and unnecessarily turning them on. He walks through the kitchen in broad daylight and flicks on all the lights AND we have big skylights in there. LOL

Shingles sucks. I had it once many years ago. Rare for me to see a physician, but it hurt like hell & I was afraid it’d get worse. Ran along and under one arm. They gave me Vicodin. Had one very minor flare later which I self-diagnosed. Would not consider the vaccine as I’m hearing one gets immunity from breakouts.

Donkey on 06/25/2021:
Oh my gosh, my husband is the same way with lights. Can't tell you how many times I come up or downstairs to find every single light on and nobody around.

I've never had shingles, but my brother has. And I've heard that yes, hurts like hell. I tried to encourage my Boss to take time off to rest, if he needs to. I guess the medicine also makes him feel not so great. Ugh...


happy-1 on 06/24/2021:
Lol. He’s probably struggling with being satisfied on the new diet and overeating to compensate. It’ll level out.

Sorry about the dog poop! Hope it wasn’t diarrhea!!!

Donkey on 06/25/2021:
Yes, that could be - trying to find out what works. Also, it occurred to me last night that maybe he's in the "bulking up" phase of bodybuilding? After he builds up the muscle, then he starts eating cleaner to shed the fat part and lean up?

It wasn't diarrhea but it did fill up a Wal-Mart plastic shopping bag.


horn_of_plenty on 06/24/2021:
and isn't shingles contagious? maybe not? i hear it's very uncomfortable! it's gotta be a big distraction on the boss.

that is so pathetic that a dog pooped in your office. my gosh lol.

yes, not everyone who "diets" is going to find what works right away, as we all at DD have experienced; taking YEARS to learn to lose.....like Happy said above.

Donkey on 06/25/2021:
Nice Lady was mortified and angry at her dog - but honestly, it wasn't really the dog's fault, that she had to go. I mentioned the dump incident to Nice Lady yesterday and just said, Well, we all have our bathroom issues from time to time.

That's a good point about trying to figure out what works and what doesn't when it comes to dieting. And like Happy mentions above, maybe he's working on finding his equilibrium.


bearcountrygg on 06/24/2021:
Shingles are not contagious...but a person with shingles can give chicken pox to someone that had never had chicken pox...happened at our house......The girl that gave me extreme stress..(shingles) got the pox........karma?????

Donkey on 06/25/2021:
Good point to stay away from stress! I've had the chicken pox.

My doctor says that the ooze from the shingles sores is what is contagious, but otherwise, they aren't contagious. So I'm washing my hands a little more frequently at work. And I will work to keep the stress levels low(er), too.


innerpeace on 06/24/2021:
Be motivated by WHAT NOT TO DO! There's one girl in my office who I know has gained at least 30 pounds - I tell myself - don't be her...go walk again today! At least you exercised and moved around so GO YOU!

Donkey on 06/25/2021:
I hadn't considered that aspect - having an "anti-example" to follow. And goodness knows I have plenty of them at the office.

It's so frustrating to see my Boss think that he's eating healthy when he's really not (especially since he had a heart attack 2 years ago). He's someone that has never had to worry about his weight before.


Jacky82020 on 06/25/2021:
Ewe…..my shingles never oozed at all. They were burning little red spots. I could take the pain from the ones I had, but was worried it would get worse. Never did, stayed in that single line on one arm. Healed slowly.



Donkey - Wednesday Jun 23, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 139.5

Trying hard to plod through this week.  That's the perfect word for it:  PLOD.  And I dislike that.  This is a beautiful week, weatherwise and things are slowing down just a little bit at work.  So why do I feel so sluggish with time?  I'm going to try to step away from my desk as much as possible. 

The Boss is trying to set up an interview with a new candidate for our part-time help.  I was truly hoping that this new person would be able to do proof-reading, but I can tell that English is not her first language, and from the conversations I've overheard, I'm not sure her mastery of the English language is 100%.  It's whatever... I'm not really involved in any of that.  And it seems as though the clients this week have just gone cuckoo.  Very odd problems that I had to deal with yesterday morning.  It really stressed me out.  I was just, What hit me this morning?  That's how impacted I felt.

I managed only 2 bicep exercises last night, but used heavier weights.  It was lights out by 9:15p. 

I couldn't persuade myself from having a peanut butter wrap today for 1st breakfast.  It's that sweet-tooth of mine.  I'm torn between having fruit or a protein shake for my 2nd breakfast (at work). 

Today was just cardio.  Wouldn't it be nice to go to the gym tonight for more cardio on the elliptical?  And then take a shower at the gym and get into my PJ's and come home and go to bed?  That WOULD be nice, but then that would mean only 6 hours of sleep or less...   

Progress as of today: 47 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/23/2021:
You can do more cardio back in your neighborhood outside or on your home exercise equipment..if you do not want to skimp on sleep.

personally, i'd say sleep is more important than venue where i do cardio. i do view sleep as high importance; pretty much more important than exercise most of the time (not all the time).

however, that shower at the gym is golden as it would make your home routine quite simple tonight and into tomorrow morning (i assume you wouldn't shower again?)

i also am not into the higher protein breakfasts at all. also, they require a hair more prep on my part; except if i eat an egg frittata but those are not appealing with their prepackaged ingredients of extra salt / fat / too much flavor even at 7am at work...not yet.

i wholeheartedly agree that the person being hired should at least know good english written and spoken and be able to proofread or not make a lot of spelling / grammar mistakes...lol, i cannot believe there's no more candidates. not sure why your boss is going with the half-a## ones...

Donkey on 06/24/2021:
I'll write more, today, about my thoughts on going to the gym, BUT I did end up riding my bike at home. I'm fortunate that I have some equipment at home. Still, the elliptical at the gym is a better cardio workout.

I like a sweet breakfast. Don't care for savory/salty things in the morning, so things like eggs, don't really do it for me.


bearcountrygg on 06/23/2021:
English is not her first language....OMG!!!!

Donkey on 06/24/2021:
I learned yesterday that she has other experience that could be very helpful in the future. But still... The one thing I *LOVE* about Mistakes Girl's work product is that she has a very pleasant voice and demeanor over the phone. And she's very good at handling callers.



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