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Donkey - Friday Mar 26, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

A very quick entry this morning.

I had a very good lower body weight training session last night.  I added an extra set on the 2 exercises I usually do, and then did 3 more exercises - 2 of which were completely new to me - after that (3 sets).

Unfortunately, after that, I had a big huge fight with my husband over money which then evolved into gun control, for some reason...  Complete waste of energy.

This weekend, the carpets at work are getting shampooed, so the greater part of the end of my day will be spent picking up things off the floor (chairs, floor mats, my crap, boxes, etc.) and moving them to the bathrooms or attic.  I'm guessing this will make me late to leave, which I am not happy about. It has been causing me anxiety all week.

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/26/2021:
Great re the workout. Sorry about the disagreement with the husband, You’re gonna burn off a lot of calories on all that heavy cleaning!

bearcountrygg on 03/26/2021:
Sometimes those spouse spats help clear the air too......You and HOP have sure had to move furniture around a lot....I feel sorry for you guys.

Donkey - Thursday Mar 25, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Good morning!  I've run out of time to post much, unfortunately.  I hate mornings like this, when I feel rushed.  However a couple of things to mention:

(1)  Having about 3/4 cup of cottage cheese seemed to help calm me down yesterday.  I had it as part of my lunch, but I think today, I will use it as my afternoon snack and see how that goes.

(2)  Late last night, I was struggling HARD with myself.  I wanted a dish of ice cream very badly, but to do so would have required quite a bit of effort.  I thought of Maria on her Honey Bun Island, and felt like if I had had the ice cream, that I would be on my Ice Cream Float-Boat on the way to Honey Bun Island - LOL.  I pictured a pontoon boat, but instead of floaters, it was scoops of ice cream, as I floated down the River of Self-Indulgence.  I did NOT want to board the Ice Cream Float-Boat!

  • Instead, I stayed upstairs, got into bed, and spent too much time on my phone, which is why I'm really tired today.

I had a nice chat with my Boss and the New Guy yesterday afternoon, how I'm feeling so tense and crabby by the end of the day, and that I don't like feeling that way.  They gave me some pointers and suggestions, and I said I would work on it.  Having this conversation really helped me, by bringing my problem to the table, and then finding ways to work on it.  It would have been OK if they didn't suggest anything - just the fact that I mentioned it helped.


Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/25/2021:
Well your day yesterday sounds like it was very successful! At least 3 issues dealt with....win...win!

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
I agree - I had the feeling that a plan was coming together. It's a great feeling!

Maria7 on 03/25/2021:
I laughed when I read about your Ice Cream Float-Boat on the way to Honey Bun Island....HAHAHAHA!!! Thanks for writing that! I needed a good laugh today! Wonderful that you did not give in! Btw, I am still here on Honey Bun Island. Thought I was going to get off of it yesterday but didn't. No, you do not want to come here. You should see the animals here...they are all very big, eating all these sweet carbs! Good you had a chat with your Boss and New Guy. I know that released some tension as well as good communication goes a long way and hopefully this will help things to be much better from here on. So proud of you! Hope you day today is a good one! HUGS!

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
I had a small dish of ice cream for dessert after dinner, to show myself that yes, I can have ice cream, under appropriate circumstances. I think it worked. I'm hoping it worked. I do not want to board the Float-Boat tonight.

innerpeace on 03/25/2021:
Clever!! Good for you for not getting on board! BRAVO!

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
Thank you! I'm trying to keep things in perspective, with moderation. Trying is the key word.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2021:
with contracts, i'm only working on the payment part, not really with them i guess...my boss does the real contract work! haha, i think you'd get along ok...except he thinks he's smarter than everyone! (he specifically told me this is his flaw hahahaha!)

great idea with the cottage cheese. i do know that cheese and stuff will work out better than a chocolate which wears off in an hour...but i like it that way for now...

def use maria and the others here as guidance and ways to help you...also use your own experiences...do not forgot all you have learned about yourself on what works!

i know what you mean about bringing up how you feel at work on certain workloads or situations ... it can help to not keep it all inside your head, it can be so stressful. now you keep your head high and keep on.

Donkey on 03/26/2021:
Something about cheese calms me down.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2021:
i commented back on my entry to your comment :)..answered an old question i think i forgot to answer awhile back.

Donkey - Wednesday Mar 24, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Good morning!  I started out this morning in a good place, and had a very good bike ride this morning. This has changed, due to things that I have written but since deleted, since it's not diet related, and we all have different opinions here.  

Anyway, trying to get back on track...

Yesterday, I was keenly aware of that anxiety/stress that I feel in the afternoon that causes me to stress-eat.  It starts around 2:30p and grows increasingly uncomfortable through 3:30p, possibly 4pm.  I say "possibly" because at 3:30p, I reached for carrot sticks, which seemed to ... not do much damage.  It didn't really SOLVE the problem but helped with minimal damage.  So today I have celery AND carrot sticks.

Around this time - 3:00pm ish - is when I just seem to run out of steam.  My patience is gone, my will to be at work is gone (i.e. I just want to go home), I have nothing left to offer anyone.  This "mental fatigue" manifests itself in anxiety, which I seek to self-medicate to push through to 5pm.

I thought about bringing a little wine to work, to calm my nerves, but I don't want to go there.  It just occurred to me that this is when I should make myself a cup of tea. I will try that FIRST today, instead of reaching for the celery and carrots.

So my goal is to remain mindful and aware in the afternoon and try the tea.  There are other things I can try to, such as limit the phone calls I will accept.  This is not always as easy at it seems to do, since this is a client-based business.  My purpose is to be available to the clients -- but at what expense to my own sanity and well-being????

I had an awesome upper body weight session last night.  Tonight is just cardio, which will be at home, unless I'm inspired to go to the gym for cardio.  But no weights.


Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/24/2021:
Think wine at work is a bad idea. I’d try for benzos before going there, but seems many physicians are reluctant to prescribe. They are highly addictive, not good. You’ll find a way. A good way.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
OK, it's a no-go on the wine. I would like to avoid taking a med for this feeling, though. Most of them put me to sleep, even with a minimal dosage cut in half! Plus, I'm not sure I would trust myself to drive home a couple of hours after taking a pill.

Long ago, I used to have an Rx for Ativan, which worked, if I were at home.... Oh dear, I just don't know if I want to go down that road again.

But I hear you, and I thank you for the suggestion. I will keep this in my back pocket if I can't get a grip or if things get worse. Definitely if they get worse.

innerpeace on 03/24/2021:
Totally understand...mental fatigue is a thing, I know. DH can't understand why I'm tired because I didn't do anything physical - he has no idea about capacity draining mental fatigue. This is why I believe the siesta was created!! Why deal with this if you don't have to...if only this practice would be adopted in the US. I hope you have a great day and your tea helps.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
EXACTLY!!!! And that's a really good point about a siesta.

bearcountrygg on 03/24/2021:
I agree...alcohol at work wouldn't be a good thing. I would search for another way to calm yourself......some people find a worry stone helps... a small smooth stone ( about the size of a nickel)...that when rubbed calms them down. Myself...I find taking a deep breath helps...maybe look for decaf coffee or tea. I'm sure right now afternoons seem miserable.....Hope today works out better.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
Yes, I agree that the wine probably isn't a good idea. Not that my boss would have any objections. I suspect he has a drink when he goes out to lunch, which is quite often.

One of my kids had a worry stone that my mother gave him/her. I should look for that.

You have helpful suggestions to try. I have to keep trying until I find something that works.

Maria7 on 03/24/2021:
Always know that if you want to write something here, you are free to do it. I have done this today, written my feelings, which are also not related to diet. I am so thankful to have the support of all you wonderful, caring DD Friends.

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
I don't like to write here from my computer at work, BUT you have a good point that it's better to write HERE - even if I have to write from my phone - versus eating food at work.

So this is a good suggestion. I will make it a stipulation that if I feel weak in resisting work junk food, that I will (1) step away from my desk, AND (2) log on here, from my phone, and report myself to you all. (ha ha, that sounds like I'm turning myself in to the DD police squad or something)

Horn_of_plenty on 03/24/2021:
i'd vouch for tea, celery and carrots...why not all 3...celery and carrots do no damage. also, a chocolate or two plus tea may be good. the reason i keep mentioning sweets is because it helps my body make seratonin and i've decided sweets have been more helpful than not.

yes, you have to work it out - limit things and learn how to be most "sane" in the afternoon. nobody will do it for you, not even a boss! ha!

btw, i also help my boss develop changes to he contract, we call them "mods," modifications. in the past, while working in estimating, there were riders and ammendments! seems you also work under "contracts," just like me!

Donkey on 03/25/2021:
The problem with 1 or 2 chocolates is that this "hit" of sugar, at work, usually starts me down a path of consumption that I cannot control. I have found 2 things that might work better for me: cottage cheese or a small slice of sourdough bread. I tried both of those this week, and felt a significant change in satiation.

Not that I want to get into the habit of bringing a slice of bread to work. I try hard to avoid bread. If I bring it from home, though, I will eat it.

I love working with contracts! Very good for my OCD tendencies.

Jacky82020 on 03/25/2021:
I take a one low dose Xanax as a sleep aid. Couldn’t imagine it all day but suppose ppl build up tolerances. My mean old MIL was hooked on Ativan,

Donkey - Tuesday Mar 23, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Today is a new day, and my goal is to make it a good day, regardless of what happens to my files at work. That's THEIR lives, not mine.  (Yesterday, by 9:33am, I had had my full share of stupid.  What is it with people? Geez!)

I decided to eat more yesterday and not feel guilty about it.  I'm still in search of a substantial afternoon snack to hold me and calm me.  (Wait, food probably shouldn't be used to calm myself down, right?)  I dipped into my emergency walnuts, had a small slice of bread that was leftover from a previous lunch, but finally had about 1/2 a cup of miscellaneous nuts from downstairs.  Very oily and salty.  WHY DO I EAT FOOD THAT THE BOSS BRINGS TO WORK???  THAT is something that needs to STOP, regardless of anything else.  Seriously, it needs to be like the 11th Commandment or something that serious.  Thou shall not eat foods provided by thy Boss. 

I had trouble with yoga.  I had trouble remembering the sequences of moves - thank goodness she repeats over and over the verbal cues, throughout the practice. I had problems balancing on one leg.  I had a stretch that I think I pushed myself too hard on, because I was feeling a little twinge of dissatisfaction with my right hip, and this morning, I'm feeling more complaints from the right hip.

Tonight I am looking forward to working out at home.  I've decided to work in some weight training at home during the work week and then weights at the gym on the weekends. It's OK for me to be a weekend warrior at the gym; it's forgiveable if I don't make full useage of my gym membership at this time.  So tonight is some kind of cardio to warm up - say 30 minutes or so, and then upper body weights, with my dumbbells, etc.

Depending on how this morning goes and our weather (rain expected), I may run errands at lunchtime rather than go for a walk. That's OK.

I am bringing some protein foods to work to help me through the afternoon. Also, going to bring some chamomile tea and something called "Lemon Lift" tea, to see if either one will help with my nerves in the afternoon.  I seem to do well when my morning snack is fruit.  And finally, I'm bringing some raw carrots to munch on if the stress eating urge becomes unbearable.

I think I have a good plan for today.

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/23/2021:
Yes! I like your 11th commandment! Do you feel under any peer pressure to eat his stuff? Or just because it’s there? Yep, you definitely need to find healthy alternatives. I used to bring protein bars to work. Gets boring, but healthy and filling. Even so I didn’t do such a great job during the school year and spent most summers losing 10-15 pounds. Ran them off summers on the treadmill or walking. Some on a stationary bike, the old kind, neither a spinner or recumbent.

I am somewhat chagrined to admit I was introduced to the recumbent bike in an assisted living facility where the MIL once resided. No one much used it, always unoccupied when we visited, so I often left the MIL’s room & her incessant whiling and rode that bike and talked to a cute old man. He was nearly 90 & had many good stories to tell.

Donkey on 03/24/2021:
I sometimes feel pressure to eat the food that the Boss brings in, but most of the time, it's my own darn fault. He thinks that by bringing us treats like this, that it keeps our minds off of really important issues like not offering health insurance, no pay raises, etc.

bearcountrygg on 03/23/2021:
Love the new goal!!! Ain't nobody can bring you down!!! I'm wondering what the boss's motive is about all the food. 1. Is he trying to make everyone happy 2. Trying to keep everyone from leaving the office during lunch break and instead stay at their desks and work 3. Fattening everyone up 4. Buying things for the office that he doesn't want to have around at his house? 5. Trying to get everyone to the lunchroom area so that people build better friendships there?

Donkey on 03/24/2021:
Oops, I answered your question up above in Jacky's comment.

We all used to eat in the lunchroom together. A few years ago, when I was going through a terribly stressful time, all of my co-workers ganged up on me and complained to the boss about me. After that, I vowed never to eat lunch in the lunchroom again. I've pretty much held to that.

innerpeace on 03/23/2021:
I got a good chuckle from your 11th commandment. This is hard for me too, I'm grateful I'm not at work and have that temptation to deal with. People always bring food to work - maybe not so much now, but the donut boxes are in there and Easter candy already. Have a good day.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2021:
just how you are involved in the contracts with clients (i read your entry below) at work, i'm involved also in something more called subcontracts just because they are the contracts we have with subcontractors "under us" and not contracts we have with the general contractors that are "over us." I think it's my boss that does those contracts and i'm the one doing more of the subcontracts!...yes...set your phone or something or just don't answer it...before noon...yes, you have that power to plan and prioritize a portion of your day, yes, i like that! maybe do that some days, if not all...but i love the idea of you taking charge of your workload.

Donkey on 03/24/2021:
The contract rules the transaction. I guide the clients through every step of the transaction, to fulfill the terms and deadlines (contingencies) of the contract. If there are changes to the deal, then I prepare addendums to the contract (riders, amendments -- whatever you want to call it).

Horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2021:
personally, i do also use food to calm me. why feel bad about it. i believe, after even seeing a dr for an annual physical and telling her how i eat more carbs (even candy), she didn't say anything about it saying just do what works for me and that i'm not diabetic at all and seem to be OK so keep on.

so back to that...i find a chocolate or two (depending how big) and a drink will calm me at work in that 3pm or so hour that i have left until i leave at 4. you may want your snack around close to 4pm if you leave at 5...just some carbs to make you smile and then you are going home. and just use the bathroom before you leave, too. makes me happy during that last hour.

honestly it sucks your boss brings that crap to work but you should eat it if you are tempted, just take a few bites of muffins and the like, throwing the rest out. eat as much from one muffin as it would be of a granola bar. just make the food swaps and you will be OK! and it's free. you willl just need something to drink to fill your stomach if you are having a snack from the boss' treats bc it would be just a few bites and then you could just throw it - the rest i mean - away.

you could always ask the boss to order a veggie or fruit tray.??? - just an idea, idk if this is possible to ask.

lemon lift sounds good. i may get back to teas one day, but not yet. they are so healthy, but i haven't been in the mindset even during the early and mid pandemic to actually do it, not sure why!

lastly, i'm doing some home workout tonight too...just a little bc i don't have it in me to push too much.

Donkey on 03/24/2021:
I will write a little bit more about this in today's entry.

I did have a very good upper body workout last night!

Donkey - Monday Mar 22, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Happy Monday!  (Well... not really, but here we are anyway.)

Thank you all for your comments to my recent entry (entries).  I have made comments. :-)

I must remember to remain calm at work, not to feel overwhelmed by the number of emails and new contracts.  I think I will ask that all calls go to voicemail until noon.

Tonight is yoga, and so I consider today/tonight to be kind of my "rest" day, even though yoga can be challenging.  So after yoga, I will start preparing for bedtime, starting with evening chores (litterboxes, take the garbage cans out to the curb, etc.), and then shower and go to bed.

I'm somewhat bothered that Male Co-Worker has started to attend church in person again.  I will have to ask him what precautions his church is doing;I will do this in a subtle, non-confrontational way.  Mostly, I just want to know for myself, so that I know what he's being exposed to.  He's been vaccinated, but he can still catch the virus.  And the picture of the pastor he posted on Facebook - not wearing a mask.  OMG... 

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/22/2021:
Anyway you call call or google the church? Don’t know that I trust some people to be honest.

legcramps on 03/22/2021:
I agree, Monday comes whether we like it or not, so we might as well like it! I mean, it takes more energy to be sad and angry and all that...

Do your best to protect yourself regarding co-worker attending church; you can't control how other people in your office are going to spend their time and where that might happen.

Maria7 on 03/22/2021:
Just wear your mask and keep your distance from everyone you work with. Like Legcramps said, you cannot control how other people in your office are spending their time when they are not working, nor who all they are around...just never know...but you can do your best to 'manage' the best you can by taking care of YOU.

Donkey - Sunday Mar 21, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Good morning!  I slept in this morning, almost 9 hours of sleep!  But I had waken up a few times during the night.  At one point, I woke up with my neck in a lot of pain - Yikes!  I adjusted my pillow and my position and fell back asleep.  I don't have pain this morning in my neck, thank goodness.  My left hip is feeling a little sore, not sure why - maybe from the gym?  I can't see why, since I did upper body weights yesterday.

I belong to a body-building group on Facebook, and I recently read a post from a woman who said that once she started focusing on weight training, she didn't care what the scale said any more.  How wonderful to have this freedom!

So I've been thinking of making some changes, since what I'm currently doing isn't really working.  However, what did I do this morning?  Same ol' workout, same ol' breakfast.  Oh how HARD it is for me to change my habits.  When I'm in my comfort zone, I don't like to move from there.  Even if that "comfort zone" becomes slightly uncomfortable, I'll stay there and make it work.

The problem with me making changes is that I do try to make changes, and then the scale goes up!  Or I get really weird readings varying up to a 1.5 pound difference!  The scale is becoming an unreliable source of reward (positive re-inforcement), and yet, isn't this what this is all about?

The weather is one of the nicest days in our area today, so I will be filling up my birdfeeders, and hooking up the exterior garden hose, so that Husband can clean off the garage floor from the winter salt.

I do plan to go to the gym, perhaps this afternoon - hoping that it will be emptier than usual, while people are away enjoying the outdoors.  Will I take an outdoor walk myself?

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/21/2021:
Habits are hard to break......Shake it up time....shock your body with something new and unexpected....it will be all confused and then it will get out of it's routine......Sometimes I will stop the oatmeal and have a scrambled egg or omelette with peppers.....and the scale usually drops when I do that. Funny thing with celery too.....that seems to work really well for me with the scales...

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
I agree, just not sure how to do it, what to change. I don't want to be making a change, having problems coping with it, and being "stuck" at work unable to do anything about it.

Well, maybe that's what I need, so that I have to live with the change, as uncomfortable as that might be. Ugh... I have to think this through a little more. I can't think about it right now.

Jacky82020 on 03/21/2021:
Maybe you need a new scale! I use the Fitbit one, connects to an app on the iPad. Also use a Fitbit to count steps/bike revolutions.

We go through a 40 pd sack of wild bird seed every week. A Walmart staple.

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
I think I need a new scale.

OK, I don't feel so bad going through the bird seed like I do, then.

Maria7 on 03/21/2021:
I am pasting what I replied to your comment to my yesterday's entry, in case you haven't seen it today: 'We have to take into consideration that muscle weighs more than fat, so only relying on what the scale reads can be deceptive to how we are truly doing. We could have more fat on our bodies and weigh less and we could have more muscle on our bodies and weigh a little more. So, if we are very active, we are probably carrying more muscle weight, so we should not be discouraged if the scale shows we weigh a little more than we would like to weigh.'

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
Possibly... I do think I've put on some muscle weight, but I'm still at 32% body fat. Also, my doctor doesn't really look at anything but the weight number. I don't mind adding muscles, especially to my arms, but could I please lean out a little? That would require calorie restriction, and right now, that's really, really hard to do, for some reason. I think it has something to do with having to wear a mask all day at work.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
is there a way that hubby can help yuo and clean kitty boxes when they need to be done so you don't have to do it alone?

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
The new bag of litter did not arrive in time to do all of the boxes this weekend, so I did one of them, and the other 3 will have to wait.

This is not a chore that Husband can do, due to the bending over and such. Also, it's kind of a tacit deal that we have that I do most of the cat clean-up. I wanted the cats, so I clean them up.

I may only do 1 box this next weekend - taking them in order of necessity - so that it's not such an overwhelming chore. That's a good idea, thanks!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
i'm reading what you wrote in your previous entry, about the time you initially lost 50lbs and being able to resist foods more easily = yeah, me too! it's harder and harder to resist food as we get more experienced with the weight loss...and we do not like how it felt to resist and do not want to if we can help it, again.

you shouldn't have to be as resistant as you were in your initial weightloss because now you know of alternatives and ways to not binge like initially. you should be a little better at not bingeing than you were at the VERY BEGINNING. try to use all the helpful things - teas, coffee, but with a chocolate or snack. try to include the things that were once off limits, but then you have to fit them in...you can't just indulge and lose weight, but, you can fit things in and eat your veggies at meals to balance out...i'm saying nothing needs to be restricted or totally off limits.

when i had the chemical process done to my hair this week, i wasn't sleeping well...the smell and all...and also the stress of work had me waking up like you are in the middle of the night...i think i'm passed it now, i'm glad you were able to sleep 9 hours...

...i was reaading about a lady that is the oldest lady in the world in Japan at 116 yrs old...she attributes it to sleep and her family! ha!

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
Good point! I have to agree that it's better to weigh a little bit more than to engage in repeated binge-eating behavior. That's a good point!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
you say it yourself: when you make changes the scale goes up!

therefore, you do not need so many cchanges, just far less , smaller changes...much less. stick with what you like and know works, try to have smaller pieces of cake / pie and fill up on tea / coffee with the food. that's how i do it. small granola bar, and drink with it (especially at work, drinking liquids with food helps me gREATLY)

you do NOT need to be pushing yourself out of your comfort zone all the time...it's taking SMALL steps. not frustrating large ones.

you want to do it all at once, but you do not have to!

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
THIS was mind-blowing. Like a lightbulb went off. And also very reassuring. You're right, maybe my changes don't have to be big ones after all. Hmm... I'm going to explore what little changes I can make AND psychologically handle.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
i am sooo lucky! found the metrocard in my bed! it fell out of the back of the phone when i was sleeping, i must have moved it out while sleeping! so glad i have it! money saved!

good idea of a swap from wrap to oats. if you swap to oats, your breakfast will be more voluminous. i think it'd be good to either have the pb or an egg with the oats or after when you are hungry again, as the oats may be very filling at the time if you also have coffee.

i tend to not be able to do very voluminous breakfasts at work because i get gassy and don't do well using public bathrooms since they are right near people's workstations at work! but if you can "pooooop," then i encourage the oats! :)

cool thing is oats have same calories as the wrap, but lots more volume.

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
I too cannot have a big breakfast. Just not my thing. I find it very annoying in others who enjoy a big breakfast. I don't know why, it just bothers me to hear Associate Attorney talk about his big breakfasts. It annoys me when Husband has a big breakfast, too.,

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
maybe make them with a low cal milk like almond milk.

if you want to make the oats with regular types of milk, like 2% milk, then you will stay fuller longer than if no protein in the oats. then, you can have the egg/pb later or any snack really...if you can hold out to almost lunch, i'd say a dark chocolate is also something small to shoot you over to lunch! :) ha!

Donkey on 03/22/2021:
I don't consume milk. I do love almond milk, but that's not something we always have in the house. I much prefer my oatmeal, made with water, and with a TBSP of peanut butter. I'd much prefer some walnuts in my oatmeal, for texture, but oh my goodness they are so high in calories! Even a little bit has a lot.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
over a pay raise, if i were making more, i'd totally take 5 weeks vaca! ha, i'm sure attorney's salary is quite nice anyways! time off = luxurious! :) lucky attorney, he must do things well enough that boss appreciates him....as he MUST appreciate you too!

Donkey - Saturday Mar 20, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 145.5

Good morning!  Happy Spring!  I almost missed the fact that it's the first day of Spring today! I've got so much chaos swarming around me, that I'm missing what's important to me.  I'm losing - or I've lost - my focus.  

The scale says I lost 2 pounds, but I'm still feeling bloated in my stomach.  I've been able to eat red meat this week, so my appetite has returned. I'm wondering if it's excess stomach acid from stress that's causing this sensation.  You would think that this unpleasant heaviness in my middle would stop me from eating, but it doesn't.  It's like an automatic response that happens without me even thinking it:  Stressed out = eat food.  I suppose its an inate reaction, but I can't seem to be focused or mindful enough to steer away from that route.

Also, you would think that because I'm wearing a mask all day at work, that it would keep me from eating.  (Hard to eat while wearing a face mask.)  But it doesn't!

When I had originally lost the 50 pounds, I was able to focus enough on resisting foods. I didn't let the work stress or family stress deter me.  It's not working this time.

We found out this week that my husband has indicators that he has Celiac's Disease, meaning that he's got to modify his diet to exclude foods with gluten.  He took a blood test on Friday, so we should have the results this coming up week.

Well, if I can maintain my focus enough, I plan to enjoy this weekend and do things that make me happy or at least content.

EVENING EDIT:  Went to the gym this afternoon with my daughter.  Because the weather is nice today, the gym was not too crowded.   However, what we DID have was people taking up 2 weight machines at a time, while they did their routine.  So, one guy would alternate between 2 machines.  Except that it wasn't just ONE guy, it was a few guys.  So Daughter and I left without doing the ab machines, but that's because all 3 of the machines had personal property on them - indicating they were being used.  Enjoyed some time in the steam room and came home.

Now I'm about to have a nice salmon dinner with my husband and enjoy an evening of British mysteries and folding & putting away laundry.

Progress as of today: 41 lbs lost so far, only 10.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/20/2021:
i wanted to say thank you to the comment you left me so i'm replying back here so you don't miss it: yay for the weekend, i appreciate your empathy for me here because you gave me what nobody else would be able to. my parents don't give it the same way and neither my friend in westchester.

nobody could give me what i have been needing, which is your comment, quite literally.

other people, a monthly call with therapist last night - gave me suggestions. as well as my mom - and those suggestions were mostly what i had in my mind anyways but the therapist and my mom where able to making me see things a little clearer, especially the therapist - she's fantastic. i don't know her by face, only phone calls, it's a cool deal from my insurance offered to people who's "health profile meets having these monthly nurse calls opportunity."

also, i haven't caught up on you diaries yet.

Donkey on 03/20/2021:
You are MOST welcome! :-) I have to say, despite my work complaints, the Boss usually has a receptive ear. (Not always, but I'd say more often than not.)

The ironic thing about a bad boss is that they don't realize that they are actually hindering their own team, but not being a better boss. I wish I had a solution for your situation. I suppose you could do a self-evaluation of your procedures. Perhaps try to think outside of the box? Or just say that you've got too much other, more important stuff going on in your life right now, so deal with it Mr. Boss.

Mistakes Girl usually acknowledges her mistakes and then just keeps on doing what she's doing. I think that's actually a healthy perspective.

Donkey on 03/20/2021:
That should read "by not being a better boss".

Maria7 on 03/20/2021:
Congrats to you! Happy for you! Hope you have a good day. I know what you mean about stress-eating. It helps temporarily, but then there is a price to pay.

Donkey on 03/20/2021:
Actually, I'm having a GREAT day :-) I'm really glad, because it's been a while since I've had a day like this.

I just need to short-circuit that automatic response to turn to food. That will be my tool.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2021:
i promise to catch up, but my comments back to you for your comments on my entry yesterday:

it did smell nice. it underccooked, i may have to cook it more, used coconut milk instead of evap / condensed milk. it's ok. :) may have needed one more egg.

being in union 10 years, i am entitled to 3 weeks, not the two that is up to 7 years in union. damn - sorry you only get two weeks. that's harsh. i also get 5 sick days that if you don't take, you can opt to get paid for at the end of the cycle year.

i was at times slightly below 110 like a month ago, i think my weight may be back up, because i've also had many days that are 2100 or so...higher days i mean.

it's been fun enjoying a variety of foods, bigger variety than ever, it became possible to do this as i learn to be more and more moderate...and keep weightlifting / working to add some cardio.

Donkey on 03/21/2021:
3 weeks is nice! I think Male Co-Worker has worked his way up to 5 weeks' vacation. This is in exchange for a pay raise. My Boss doesn't give raises much.

Donkey - Friday Mar 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 147.5

Well...  I would have to chalk up yesterday as an eating failure.  I was doing OK, until after dinner, when I overindulged in some heavy whipping cream that I had whipped up and froze.  Ended up eating the whole container.  Damn... (sorry, Maria)

No gym last night.  Ended up mopping all the floors and that took a whole hour of my evening time.  I was exhausted from work, came home and had to unload the dishwasher, after eating dinner, had to mop up the floors.  Rode the bike for a little bit.  Then proceeded to eat the whipped cream.

Thank goodness it's Friday.  I know that this weekend will just fly by, but I definitely need time away from real estate.  Unfortunately, with the weather being nice, there may be extra work to do, since the cat boxes - all 5 of them - need to be emptied, rinsed, cleaned, dried, and refilled.  That is a LOT of work.  And there's nothing to say that if Kitty has problems, that I might have to mop the floors again.  Oh my...

We'll see what this week's weigh-in will be.  Last night's eating won't help none, but this is not a good number to be at, and I'm tired of struggling here.

Progress as of today: 39 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 03/19/2021:
That whipped cream had to have been very good! Well, you are still holding off 39 lbs. you have lost and that is fantastic! We have to have SOMETHING good to eat sometimes, with all the stress we all deal with from time to time!

Donkey on 03/20/2021:
You hit the nail on the head: STRESS MANAGEMENT. I keep losing my focus on this. Same way that I lose focus on that feeling of being (slightly) hungry. For losing weight, that little feeling of hunger is something that I should be REVELING in. That means that I'm doing it right.

Something in my brain bypasses that and thinks, "Me want cookie" This happens at work, at home (like with the frozen cream), etc.

Can't focus on my goals!

Jacky82020 on 03/19/2021:
All them Xtra chores is bound to burn off them Xtra cream Cals! Never had it frozen, but love my desserts frozen. I buy canned whipped cream. Great in coffee.

Donkey on 03/20/2021:
I ate out of fatigue and stress/anxiety. Next time, any extra heavy cream is going down the drain. Won't whip it up.

Jacky82020 on 03/20/2021:
We all do that upon occasion!

Donkey - Thursday Mar 18, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 147.5

How on earth is is NOT Friday yet???

I was all set to write that my stomach problems seem to be resolving themselves, as I had chicken for dinner last night, except that my stomach is doing flips this morning.  It's not preventing me from eating, but I feel like there's a lot of churning going on in my middle.  Still, I will take leftover chicken for lunch.

The Boss joined a gym on Tuesday night, so I guess he realized he's gained weight, as was so obvious to me when we got the pictures from the office photo shoot.  So yesterday, he brings in an apple coffeecake and St. Patrick's Day iced butter cookies.  I took 2 cookies home, one for my daughter and one to share with my husband, which we did.  Boss was pressuring me to partake of the coffeecake, but I don't like coffeecake, and especially NOT the ones from this particular bakery, as they have a layer of cake (sponge cake) as a filler, so that it looks like there's more fruit than there really is.  Coffeecake is a pastry dough, not a cake dough.  A streudel not a Swedish flop.

I did not go to the gym Tuesday (exhausted from work) nor yesterday (wanted to chill out at home, and then many chores to take care of).  I have been thinking about going tonight, but I think I will not go, and instead mop the floors, ahead of the weekend.

Thinking that I would make it to the gym this week, I haven't done any weights at home this week, either.  Ugh...  Well, maybe a work-week off is a good idea.


Progress as of today: 39 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/18/2021:
Sorry to hear about the stomach problems. Any idea what’s up with that? The apple cheesecake sounds delish! Love frozen chocolate cheesecake the best of all.

horn_of_plenty on 03/18/2021:
glad your stomach is practically resolved, this week does suck big time...

i feel like it's THE neverending week! yes.

let's celebrate once tomorrow is here!

horn_of_plenty on 03/18/2021:
1771 cals for yesterday is very nice...very light. will def help you with weight loss / maintenance. undoubtedly! just saw that part of your entry now!

Maria7 on 03/18/2021:
I hope your stomach feels better. I wouldn't eat any cake I didn't like, either. Hope you have a good day. Take care.

Donkey - Tuesday Mar 16, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 147.5

I'm not sure what happened yesterday, but I never heard my alarm go off.  I'm awake, lying in bed, decide to look at my Fitbit watch and see that I'm an hour late! 

This morning, quite like the past 2 nights, I've been waking up way too early (like 2am, 3am) and just lying in bed "awake", except that I must drift off, because the next time I look at my watch, 45 minutes has passed.  Still, it does not feel like I've drifted back to sleep; it feels like I've been lying there awake. 

When I finally got out of bed - heard my alarm this time - I came down to coffee all over the countertop.  I must not have set it up properly last night. 

Despite having prepared a week in advance for the time change, I have not adapted well.  This is the worst year yet.  I find myself missing the darkness from the previous time - which is rather uncharacteristic of me (I'm a Leo).  Although... sometimes, when cats are injured or sick or unhappy, they will hide in dark places, too.

Stomach still isn't quite right.   

EVENING EDIT:  I weighed or measured most of my food today and found that I took in 1771 calories.  I'm actually quite surprised, because I thought I was being more restrained in eating that I actually was.

I could easily have eaten more, to feel satisfied.  I was so tempted to have a glass of wine before/with dinner, but I didn't because I knew I was counting calories.

I cannot imagine cutting calories more and being able to cope with what I have to deal with daily.

Progress as of today: 39 lbs lost so far, only 12.5 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 03/16/2021:
You will adapt very soon, Donkey. It’s a change alright & I wish it never happened. Sorry you’re waking up all those times! Sucks!

innerpeace on 03/16/2021:
Who knew one hour could wreak some much chaos? I too am having issues getting acclimated to this one little hour...I never noticed it so much before. I am blaming DH and having to get up at 3:15....

bearcountrygg on 03/16/2021:
That beginning transition after the hour change is weird. We never did adjust last fall...so this time we are kind of forcing ourselves to work with it. Getting up to go to work would be hard though...I'm sure a lot of people suffered yesterday. Hope you feel better...tummy troubles are miserable.

Horn_of_plenty on 03/16/2021:
that's what happened with me on Monday, with alarms. I don't remember them going off, but they did because they were still going off when i finally opened my eyes...ugh, i sure hope i'm beyond wakeup issues for tomorrrow! maybe i'll stay away from an urge to take a benedryl...! yup, no benedryl tonight!

try not to be too distressed about the middle of the night / very early morning accidental wakeups...if you get to aggrivated over it, it will just stress you even more and you will just have even more problems with the sleep / wake thing!

but i'm glad you write it, at least you do not have to keep these bothers to yourself, which is even worse!

i can understand you missing the darkness...you were used to it...

Maria7 on 03/17/2021:
Your last sentence says it all...how do we eat less and deal with stress? Some days are easier than others. Hard not to give in. I think stress makes a person hungrier! At least it does for me! Smile! I think I'd rather be a little heavier than I am comfortable with if I can eat a little more and feel happier, anyway! Have a good day. You are doing well. You are still keeping off about 40 pounds that you lost overall. That is SUCCESS!!! We can be happy we don't weight our highest weights! We should celebrate!!!

Donkey on 03/18/2021:
This is true! Still, I know I'm not at a comfortable weight for myself. I do feel much better at around 135.

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