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Donkey - Saturday Dec 25, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 137.0

Merry Christmas!!!!  I slept in this morning, only motivated to get up by my Fitbit, which starts hourly step reminders for the 7am hour.  So I got up at 7:46a to start getting in 250 steps by 8am.  Did it!  Got my laundry started.  Eating a very late breakfast. Lasagna and football this afternoon during the Browns v. Packers game.  Hey, InnerPeace, we're cheering on the Browns for you!!! 

I did not want to weigh in this morning.  Bloated, constipated, not eating well this week, finishing those awfully good cupcakes last night -- I knew the number would be higher.  And it was.  Oh well, it's the last weigh-in for 2021; it is what it is.  I'm really excited to share 2021 accomplishments and 2022 goalposts for next year with you all on New Year's Eve.  

I got a surprise this morning, when Husband told me that the boyfriend is coming over today.  Oh dear, I wasn't really expecting that, but that's OK because I know he's not coming to see ME, he's coming to spend time with Daughter, and that's a very nice thing to do.  Also, that means less leftovers, if he has dinner with us, and that's a good thing.  However, the gift we got him is not here yet.  We figured we would be giving it to him on 12/30 when he comes over when my sister & her husband are here to visit.

Otherwise, until Daughter wakes up for present opening, it's a usual Saturday, except that the gym is closed.  I'm GLAD the gym is closed.  Some gyms are open - that sucks.  Give your employees the day off, for goodness sakes!  Got my laundry started -- if the boyfriend is coming over, I'll have to have that finished early, for sure.  Birdfeeders are filled.  All is well.

Progress as of today: 49.5 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/25/2021:
Oh....Her boyfriend must have passed his covid test??? It is nice to have some company for the dinner......!!! We got a bunch of phone calls in the last couple of days......putting us up to date on everyone...the good the bad and the ugly!!!!....LOL....everyone in our circle are hiding out alone this year again........We had 50 plus years of the huge holiday parties.....I will say...they were fun and exhausting!!!

Donkey on 12/26/2021:
The boyfriend AND the friend both tested negative. I'll write more about all of this in my own entry. But it was good to know that my Daughter's closest friends are OK (at least for now).

When my step-father's mother was alive, that whole family would get together on Christmas Eve. Oh my, what a wonderful, fun, delicious time those parties were! He was Sicilian, and Grandma had 5 kids, so they would all meet at someone's house - laughing, yelling (in a good way), playing cards, eating good food... I never quite belonged, and being an introvert, it wasn't really my thing, but it was fun just to be a part of it, even if it was an observer.

Those were the days! But honestly, I was glad and grateful for my little quiet gathering yesterday.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/25/2021:

yum yo lasagna and football and a late breakfast! same here.

Your weigh-in may be high but it's very close to goal. I think it's a good way to ring in the next year. You can be focused in the New Year again :) and relax a little these holiday weekends - not with food necessarily - but with rest, and getting yourself ready / energized for the new year!

I'd sooo love a couple of parakeets of my own like actual pets; but; pushing that out of my mind bc it's extra money and cleanup. The birds themselves are cheap but the care is little of a process. i know it's not the right time; but i think it's so cute having birds that talk. the smaller ones are only 10-30 bucks.

Donkey on 12/26/2021:
You're right about the weigh-in, and thank you for helping me to keep things into perspective. Christmas dinner was delicious, but I'm kind of ready to get back to regular eating, too, once the leftovers are gone.

Birds are a lot of work, I agree, but they are cute, and they sing. We had some when I was a kid, and they would start singing every day at around 6am. Oof! (LOL)

Horn_of_plenty on 12/25/2021:
PS re yesterday, i was SO HAPPY to have Christmas Eve off as well!

I totally get you on some coworkers holding you up when it's time to go...can relate to it.

the cupcakes below wouldn't be so bad but the frosting i'm sure adds a few more calories. the cupcake itself is just fluffy cake so it's the least of issues...

do not stress yet re the dr appointments as your levels weren't so out of range, just ever so slightly. i am sure you can eat or take a supplement to inhibit it getting worse.

LOL you are funny about that clinic volunteering and how you responded. no worries. you have to do what is right for you. after all, they get paid. and you have an aggressive job/schedule.

Donkey on 12/26/2021:
The frosting on the cupcakes - sooo good, but not good for me. Talk about really empty calories! But that was the whole point, because the cake part really wasn't anything special.

I'll touch on more of your comments, in my own entry.

Maria7 on 12/26/2021:
That is something I keep forgetting...to get bird seed for the feeders outside.

Donkey - Friday Dec 24, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!  So grateful to have the day off.  Daughter works 9am-7pm, so maybe I'll see her tonight.  That would be a great gift!  I still have to wrap gifts, so that's what I'll be doing today.  

The gym closes at 3pm today.  My plan is to go around noon, I think.  It's foggy here right now, so I'd rather not go out until that lifts later in the day, even if it starts to rain.

We really didn't get to leave work early, and by the time I finished up what I had to do, it was practically almost 5pm anyway.  Associate Attorney has this very annoying habit of wanting to talk to me when it's time to go.  So leaving was delayed by about 40+ minutes.  He's done this to me more than once before, but I kind of look at it as contributing to the "social" well-being of that part of the office, if that makes sense.  Besides, sometimes, then, I learn things that I otherwise would not have heard/known. 

I did pretty good with eating until dessert dinner, where I ate 4 Christmas cupcakes with frosting.  I had 2 before my evening bike ride, and 2 afterwards.  Not good.   Also, I didn't do any weights last night, but I think I'm OK with that, especially if I do weights today at the gym, which is my plan.

So I received my blood test results and I was initially feeling very positive and good about myself and my health.  I even texted my mom, "I feel great!"  But the doctor wants to do follow-up blood work because my potassium, calcium, and chloride levels came back just outside (high) the acceptable range.  This is something new.  My follow-up appointment is in January, and thankfully, it's not a fasting blood test.  They are going to retest these elements, and do a more thorough thyroid panel.  My mom, who is a nurse, said that elevated levels can lead to heart problems, so she's pretty sure that the doctor is just being pro-active, which I agree.  However, I did a Google and found that these levels can also be indicative of hyperthyroidism.  That put me into a downward spiral, because I sure as heck DON'T want to take medicine that will slow down my thyroid and cause me to gain weight!  No way, no way, NO WAY.  

The cupcakes were my way of trying to fix this.  I'm not sure why I feel like eating sweets will fix health issues, e.g. eating a ton of stroopwaffle cookies to cure COVID -- doesn't work.  

My Daughter just left for work.  She tells me that her boyfriend, with whom she spent all of yesterday with, is not feeling well.  Also, she's dropping off a home COVID test to one of her friends, who also works with the boyfriend, because he's not feeling well either.  I don't even know what to say.  My Husband CANNOT get COVID, because of the health issues he already has....

Well, all I can do right now is focus on today.  So I will push those worries to the side, and do the best that I can right now.

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/24/2021:
Sounds like you got the cupcake fit out of the way.......there is something to be said for that. At least you know what they taste like now and I'm sure is a limited supply of them......you will be able to undo any damage quick enough.....Hopefully daughters boyfriend just has one of the old standard illnesses that we have all experienced over the years.....Those are still around......

bearcountrygg on 12/24/2021:
Merry Christmas!

Donkey on 12/25/2021:
Merry Christmas!!!

Maria7 on 12/24/2021:
No use worrying...doesn't help at all. Just try to relax and let go of the anxiety. It's not worth it. I hope all is well for everyone. Wishing you and your family a merry Christmas.

Donkey on 12/25/2021:
Merry Christmas!!! No sense in worrying. Both boyfriend and friend have tested negative, and I am grateful for that. With myself, I just have to ride it out and see what happens.

happy-1 on 12/26/2021:
I do the same thing whenever I get scared.... I eat stuff that makes everything worse. HUGS... See a naturopath before you start sucking down thyroid meds. You might have more alternatives than you think. Also make them get an amino acid test done.

Donkey - Thursday Dec 23, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

Thankful that this is a short week, and I expect that this afternoon, we'll get very quiet and might - MIGHT - be able to go home early.  I'm not counting on it, but just saying, it might happen. Male Co-Worker is out today.  The Boss has no closings and won't be wearing a suit today.  It will be interesting to see if we see Associate Attorney after his morning closing.  Yesterday, I could tell that his mind just is NOT on his work.  He's got a purchase this morning that was in extreme danger of being delayed or outright canceled.  Didn't seem to care about it at all.  Nice Lady asked about it, in front of us both, and I said, "Why isn't (Associate Attorney) asking that question instead of you?"    I mean, it's not HER file.  The attorney doesn't care.  Mind your own business! 

I'm afraid that yesterday, I took all of your advice a little too  literally and had a great time with Christmas goodies at work.  I wouldn't say it was a binge, but it was a little ridiculous the amount of cookies eaten throughout the day.  A couple of cake balls.  A couple of cupcakes (with LOTS of frosting - yum), chocolate covered pretzel sticks, chocolate covered almonds.  But I think I've gotten it out out of my system, so with no guilt or regrets, I move forward today.

I may have written my own "pink slip" with the volunteering legal clinic last night.  The new volunteer coordinate - who gets paid with benefits - has been trying to contact me by calling me on my cell phone during business hours.  He finally emails me yesterday, to which I responded, I work full-time, I can't take personal calls, I'm not interested in leading the clinic because it's a huge time commitment.  Also, if Dan the Attorney is the only attorney that will be working at the clinic, let me know because I will need to re-evaluate.  I know "Dan the Attorney" from my job, and he's extremely rude, arrogant, and obnoxious.  I'm not wasting a Saturday morning of MY life with someone like that voluntarily.  BOUNDARIES!  So we'll see.  I'm more than happy to work with Attorney Patrick, if he's still volunteering, but my time is too valuable to spend it - volunarily - with someone so negative.  BTW, Dan the Attorney is a neighbor of Associate Attorney, and as immature as AA is, AA can't stand Dan either!  LOL!

Ah well, now is the time to put such dramas aside and come together as we start to greet the Christmas holiday weekend.



Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/23/2021:
Enjoying the holiday treats around here too....and that is okay......they will be gone soon and we can get back in the old swing of things again!

Donkey on 12/24/2021:
True enough, but also, I realize that I'm not doing myself any favors.

happy-1 on 12/23/2021:
Good job setting boundaries with the clinic!!! Volunteers should be well treated not pushed around.

Donkey on 12/24/2021:
For some very strange reason, the people who get PAID by the clinic think that the volunteers don't work outside of volunteering. Everything is during business hours. I really resent that assumption. It's quite inconsiderate.

Jacky82020 on 12/24/2021:
Happy Holidays to my favorite Donkey!

Don’t worry about the goodies. Someone sent me a box of chocolates & I ate the whole box in 2 days. My bad.

Donkey - Wednesday Dec 22, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

I think we're doing our very best to celebrate Christmas at the office.  We didn't have an office party this year, but the title company luncheon was lovely!  And delicious!  I ate my entire salad!  But that was because I knew that dinner would be cold cuts.  So lunch was my main meal.  Also, had 2 cake balls (iced).  There were 2 different kinds and I had one of each because it's Christmas and time to be merry and bright.  Yes, cake balls equals happiness - at least in Donkey's world yesterday.

Holding off on eating other treats in the office has paid off though.  I take what I would like to eat and then bring it home to share with my family.  Since we're not really baking this year, this is much appreciated and a little happiness here at home.  Yes, Christmas cookies equals happiness too.

I feel fine after my shingles shot yesterday, so I did weights this morning.  Because I didn't do weights yesterday, I did one exercise for each area:  chest, back, quads, hamstrings.  I can do more this evening, and if I do, it will be ones that I enjoy doing.  No challenges this week.

Someone had asked on a FB group what our goals are for 2022, and I realized I didn't have anything specific in mind.  You know what, though?  That's OK, I'll figure it out.  I'll be OK.

Associate Attorney told the boss yesterday about his sister's rare cancer.  Apparently, it's a form of lung cancer.  Since its "rare", they're thinking maybe the drinking water, but I don't even know if any of this is actually true or what.  If she happens to have a "miracle cure", I won't be too surprised.

And of course, he was out of the office after 10am for the rest of the day...  Wow, I wish I could do that.

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/22/2021:
We only get one Christmas 2021....and if there was ever a time in history that we all need some cheering up...this would be it. Luckily dessert does not cause covid!!! I say eat the cookies ( cake pops)......and enjoy them.....

happy-1 on 12/22/2021:
You’re out in the Midwest. That’s a known issue with the water supply.

Maria7 on 12/22/2021:
Ditto to what Bear said above. Enjoy the treats and no guilt.

Donkey - Tuesday Dec 21, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

Fasting this morning, as I get ready to go to the doctor's for blood work and my shingles shot (1st shot of 2, which means I'll have to go back in a few weeks, but won't have to fast). 

Today one of the title companies trying to get our business is treating us to lunch from a fancy restaurant.  (Fancy to me)  I ordered a green salad with grilled salmon.  There are candied pecans and cranberries in the salad too.  Right now, all I want is my protein oatmeal that I usually have for breakfast, which I will have after I get to work.  I'm stopping at the library to pick up a book on my way to the office.

Yesterday Associate Attorney told me that his sister has been diagnosed with a rare cancer that her husband happened to have and died from 3 months later.  Based on previous behaviors (telling us that he thought his daughter had cancer when the Boss was away for his January sabatical in Florida, so that he (AA) didn't have to come in to work) and his most recent request on Friday for more time off, there is some skepticism that this may not be entirely accurate.   Hmm...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/21/2021:
AA does sound like a story teller doesn't he? For the sake of the people he is talking about I hope it is a figment of his imagination.....but as a group of people who doubt his authenticity at work......it must be hard listening to his excuses....... On a happier note.......Your catered lunch today sounds amazing!!!

Donkey on 12/22/2021:
Focusing on the true and positive: oh my word, that lunch WAS so delicious! The salmon was perfect, the salad was fresh and delightful. And cake balls for dessert!

innerpeace on 12/21/2021:
Doesn't sound too rare then if two unrelated people get the same cancer, or is cancer contagious now? Sorry I jest. Good luck when your blood work and your appointment.

Donkey on 12/22/2021:
You've nailed it, Watson. That's exactly what I was thinking. And I guess it's a lung cancer, because I overheard AA saying, "She's never smoked a day in her life." I guess they're having her well-water tested, but .... well, sounds a little fishy to me, too.

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Ooooh a fancy lunch out!!!! Yum! Protein oatmeal sounds good too…

AA… Geez what a jerk. You need some serious negative energy purging there. And stay clear… He’s racking up the bad karma. The universe has a way of making things true.

Donkey on 12/22/2021:
I didn't really think about the negative energy/karma aspect. I'm definitely spreading holy water at my desk today. I'm wondering if I should do the same for him.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/21/2021:
oh, good luck at your dr's appointment today. boy has it come up fast! weeks ago it's like you had awhile, but now it's like no time has passed at all and it's here! did it feel like that for you?

Lunch sounds good. the candied pecans and cranberries are a good addition to make it a bit more nutritious/satisfying.

i'm glad you have the oatmeal too for work. it sounds good. what is the protein oatmeal you speak of!?

How old is AA? seems some families have a lot of cancer. some people do lie...but also some families do have a lot going on. hard to ever point fingers, but i know people do. one woman i work with, two 11yr olds, has been leaving early A LOT to care for them, pick them up early at school if sick, they both got the vax on weekend and now supposedly they both have covid...so she may now be out 2 weeks...very weird timing with shcools soon out for holidays...but, she'll need to prove they have covid, usually, showing their test...we shall see...obviously i would just go along with whatever it is that happens. just saying, depending on ages of family members / kids; i get someone at least with kids and especially the mom caretaker having a hard time working full time and caring for kids.

like i once told this woman, i was just so surprised she entered my industry this year....because there's very little time off the first 7 years....! and the hours are LONG. at least she can work from home...

but back to you; i'm just saying, many times i think to myself i'm glad i'm in my life/my positions in life; than others'....but update us on this...

Donkey on 12/22/2021:
I'm so glad to have all of that doctor stuff done. I realized yesterday that I do not do well with fasting. I was a big baby about that. I don't know what I would do if I was faced with hunger as a daily challenge.

AA is 56. His adult children are coming home for the holidays. His younger daughter is home from college. Wife is recovering from COVID; never did hear if his youngest son tested positive... He is REALLY BIG on spending time with family, including extended family up in Wisconsin.

The protein powder is just oatmeal mixed with protein powder and water, then microwaved. Best decision I made for myself changing my breakfasts to include more protein. I don't do well with eggs for breakfast.

happy-1 on 12/23/2021:
Lol… you need holy water in a spray bottle and on continuous mist!!!

Donkey - Monday Dec 20, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

As I posted an afternoon update yesterday, there isn't that much new this morning - except to confess that I did have a slice or 2 of the raisin sourdough bread... and then later a tablespon or so of peanut butter.  Evenings are a struggle; this should be explored more.

I know that I had listed 4 goals for this week, but to be honest, my main goal this week is to let go of the drama, and just rest & remain calm.  By rest, I don't mean "not exercise" but more so on an emotional and mental level.  I'm so glad that I have yoga tonight., to help me settle my mind.  In the meantime, I will do my best at work today to remain aloof.  The Boss is having root canal surgery this afternoon, so that will help me a lot.

Also, after struggling with the bread & peanut butter last night, I realized that I really want to make peace with food.  I'm done with drama in my life.  

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
i want you to think about when you write "evenings are a struggle; this should be explored more.." i say this because you are writing it as if you intend for future struggles...i feel you may be setting yourself up for failure...because you are saying it's a struggle even before it happens? i do this too, but i feel it's counterintuitive...

perhaps you need a BIG distraction....

i agree, struggles with food are dramatic and really take away from life enjoyment!

Donkey on 12/21/2021:
Interesting perspective! When I read your comment yesterday, it made me really think, because I hadn't considered that. I guess what I meant was exploring the reasoning behind the struggle, or having coping mechanisms on hand... but you're right that it supposes that I will continue to have struggles, which may be counter-productive.

A big distraction and less temptations. Yes.

Donkey on 12/21/2021:
Interesting perspective! When I read your comment yesterday, it made me really think, because I hadn't considered that. I guess what I meant was exploring the reasoning behind the struggle, or having coping mechanisms on hand... but you're right that it supposes that I will continue to have struggles, which may be counter-productive.

A big distraction and less temptations. Yes.

horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
Re Your Saturday entry: you are prob hungry or tired when reaching for the breads; but you have it in your house. you will need to have other alternatives to reach for instead that are lower cal. lately, for me, it's fruits - including my sf cooked cranberries that are really filling and i can have a lot of....then, if i want something after i can take it; but i will not need much mroe to be satisfied.

i can be lazy, not even wanting to microwave herbal tea whcih i sweeten with stevia; this helps me to have a cup or two to warm up; instead of reaching for bread, for instance, right away.

can you try to push off the bread...or have LESS, but not none. try to have some, but mix with other things, so you aren't reaching for as many slices. for instance, with tea, with cooked cranberries, with a big orange on the side...i used to make it a point to have a yogurt or some protein with an indulgence, now, not so much. i continue to feel protein is overdone - speaking in general, not to you.

will make a separate sunday / cmonday comment here later.

horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
nice job on lifting higher weights - you think it's due to being consistent?

eating does sound good and not like an extra meal on the entry about the cornbread/apple/chili - esp if your meals were very tame than this may be all just a good addition.

very nice to support coworker and go to the show. sounds GOOD. i want to see a show soon, even if the circus!

also, in agreement with you pretty much, try not to use "Covid" as an excuse to gain - and i like that you noticed this from the past. Remember, you are not a victim to your past and have a lot of lessons learned as to not end of there.

horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
good luck with your upcoming shingles shot. at least it will hopefully nothing like the booster / flu shots! xo wishing you a great day.

innerpeace on 12/20/2021:
DH and I go round and round about this. I understand he is physically tired from his work - I'm still trying to get him to understand, though I sit mostly and do computer stuff all day - I am mentally exhausted! Your mind, also, needs to be rested. He just doesn't get it! You, get it! Rest your mind!

Donkey on 12/21/2021:
YES, you know exactly where I'm coming from!

bearcountrygg on 12/20/2021:
Maybe keeping evenings open most days to just relax.........I just had a vivid memory of a busy work week....then son and daughter in law coming for saturday to use my ebay account to post some of their things ( this became an every saturday thing) for a few months which meant my making a dinner for all...and they were listing their things weekly, I was handling all of the correspondence...packaging and shipping during the week for them....and while we were standing in the kitchen.... our dog which had been laying under the kitchen built in desk.....got up and walked away and everyone's eyes went directly to her....she was covered with a giant dust bunny...on her back...and another one dragging behind her....and I could not remember the last time I vacuumed under there....and I knew I had been running on empty....but that was my wake up call.......I had been spending every evening taking care of their ebay business...and going to the post office most days to mail the packages...and boxing things up, keeping records and loading my car.....They had been taking over every Saturday on my computer, eating dinner and then leaving .....a room in our house was piled with their things....I handled everything else.......and it never failed....they never changed my computer settings back to the way I liked them.......I felt used.......yet I let it continue until they got tired of it all.....months later....and took the remainder of their stuff home with them......only then did I finally relax in the evenings and it was heaven.......sometimes you just need to have a time with nothing at all to do.....I then noticed that my hands were no linger clenched in fists and my shoulders were no longer up around my ears......It's tough being everything to everyone.

Donkey on 12/21/2021:
Now that my last yoga session is over for the year, the remainder of the evenings (meaning, after dinner) are left wide open pretty much.

I've noticed this year I've REALLY pulled back on Christmas. Minimal decorating, an easy Christmas Eve dinner (grilled cheese sandwiches), ordering pizzas for my sister's visit on 12/30, no cookie baking... Some of it is COVID, and some of it is simplification.

LOL, I had to laugh at the image in my mind about your dog coming out, covered in dust bunnies - LOL!!!!!

Donkey - Sunday Dec 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

Sunday Part II:  Update, Goals Recap, & Goals Week #4

My lower body workout today was not as fabulous as my upper body workout on Saturday had been. I'm not sure what's up with that.  I really struggled with the heavier weight. In fact, I had to bring it down a little, plus I did less reps and less sets.  A little disappointing.  All I can think of is that my breakfast was a peanut butter wrap and not the oatmeal w/protein powder.  Still, I'm glad I went, I'm glad I did what I did, and I think I did as best as I could for today.

I've spent the remainder of the day doing odd chores and a quick grocery trip for immediate needs.  I plan to cover my gray tonight as I feel it makes me look washed out.

Week #3 Goals:  Re-Cap:

  • No candy at work - sort of
  • Bedtime by 9:30pm - DONE
  • No second helpings at dinner - failed
  • Doctor's Appointment - DONE (part 1)

Week #4 Goals:

  • No candy at work - I really need to have this goal or I'd definitely be eating it
  • Bedtime by 9:30pm - I love this goal!
  • No eating treats while working - bring them home, to enjoy at my leisure (and not under the stress of work, boredom, etc.)
  • Doctor's Appointment Part 2 (blood work, shingles shot)

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Peanuts are inflammatory. Wheat is harvested with Raid. Gluten is inflammatory at a minor level. (Trader Joe’s has good cheap mixed nut butter.) That weird weak feeling is all the water in your body rushing to your intestines to help you poop it out. It’s a sign of a food intolerance. If I use the hdrop to measure hydration (90s), have a chocolate protein shake, then measure again… hdrop gives me a reading in the 40s/50s for chocolate vs 50s for for vanilla vs 80s for unsweetened almond milk alone. My body hates all stevia, forget chocolate with stevia. Sigh.

A busted neck =s time to play with gadgets.

Donkey - Sunday Dec 19, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

Good Sunday morning!  It is dark and cloudy here this morning, but Alexa promises a mostly sunny day.  I think we could use some sunshine today :-)

I am planning to go to the gym this morning, earlier than usual.  I ran out of oatmeal so breakfast this morning was a peanut butter wrap, which is much lighter, so I won't have to wait as long to leave.

My weights workout yesterday was awesome!  I only did 3 sets, but I was able to do higher weights on all of my exercises.  GAINS!

Eating yesterday was not the healthiest, but I think I did OK.  The "extras" I had were:  a large apple at afternoon snack, a medium bowl of chili at dinner, a piece of cornbread after the Christmas pageant.  Gee, if I look at it this way, that's like an entire extra meal!  Well, maybe eating wasn't so great!

I'm really glad that I went to the dress rehearsal for Male Co-Worker's church pagaent.  My initial motivation was doing this for him, but it ended up being a really good thing for me.  You see, I haven't really done much for Christmas this year - no decorations, no tree, not much involved in gifts, etc. -  and seeing this show made it seem more like Christmas.  I felt like Charlie Brown when Linus explains to him what Christmas is really all about :-)  And I'm glad that Male Co-Worker DID see me, so that he knows I support his endeavors.  I don't really share mine with him, like that, so for me, the motive is to have smooth relations at work.  BUT I feel like, in the end, going to the show ended up being for MY benefit.   

I've come to realize that I am feeling another burnout from COVID.  If you recall, I gained 10 pounds from the initial COVID stuff in 2020 - apparently, eating cookies doesn't solve pandemic issues.  So I shed those pounds this year - it was HARD.  And now I feel myself sliding back into a numbness that comes from:  burnout, sadness, worry, concern.  It's not quite the same as it was before, as I can take some comfort in being vaccinated, taking more precautions to protect myself and my Husband, etc.  Also, some of my burnout is coming from work & all its drama. 

Now that I am aware, I can be proactive in countering these negative forces and not let them derail me from living my best life.  

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
Hugs. Right there with you on the burnout. You need a team behind you to propel you forward in a passion and give you joy. Something you do just for yourself and no one else. Book club is doing that for me right now.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
Yes, I agree with you about having a team. I have not been able to find a weightlifting environment yet. I'm not taking any more classes at the gym until probably Spring, when COVID numbers start going down again.

There is an online group of women that meets, through one of the local FB neighborhood groups, but it's religious. I'm not sure either that I'd have much in common with the other women. It's tough right now, but I'm not giving up hope.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
Yes, I agree with you about having a team. I have not been able to find a weightlifting environment yet. I'm not taking any more classes at the gym until probably Spring, when COVID numbers start going down again.

There is an online group of women that meets, through one of the local FB neighborhood groups, but it's religious. I'm not sure either that I'd have much in common with the other women. It's tough right now, but I'm not giving up hope.

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
And as I say that, I think I might look for a bodybuilding geoup in a few months too.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
I like that idea! :-)

I searched for a Meet-Up group, but I didn't come up with anything. I should probably continue to check from time to time.

There is a local yoga studio that I've heard has supportive ladies in it - once they get to know you - but OMG the classes are so full (photos posted on FB) and no one wearing a mask... I just can't do that right now.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/19/2021:
working on commenting on Thursday...and plan to follow up on all entries below later, will confirm when i do. so far, i commented on Thurs.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
Thank! I see that I did not respond to ANY comments on Thursday's entry, so I will do so now, even if nobody reads them. Sometimes it helps me talk things out in the comments section too.

horn_of_plenty on 12/19/2021:
Friday too but still need to work on your Saturday / Sunday that I look forward to :-)

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
OK, I think I'm caught up on comments, LOL :-)

Donkey - Saturday Dec 18, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 135.5

I was bad and it was bad...

I don't even know where to begin.  I guess I started down the wrong path when I got home from work.  I had a piece of toastini bread with an olive ramalade (which is sort of a chucky spread).  Husband made tuna melts last night, so I had an additional 2 pieces of bread.  Then I had another slice of the raisin sourdough loaf.  After my bike ride, and I had another toastini with ramalade, a small piece of chocholate chip brownie (rock hard, stale), and a small slice of corn bread (also getting stale).  

I woke up in the middle of the night (1:43am), not with my metabolism on fire, but in such inflammatory pain - oh my.  After trying to fall back asleep for about 20 minutes, I got up and took some Tylenol, and went back to bed.  It took a while to fall back asleep and ended up sleeping in until almost 7am today (which is fine).  I guess I turned off my alarm - time to change the ringtone!

Why do I keep sabotaging myself like this?

I found myself falling into the thinking that, going into the actual holiday days, that it would be OK to eat a little more.  Normally, to anyone else, I would say this is a sane strategy, but for myself, it's not working.  Whatever this is, whether it's holiday stress or COVID stress or whatever stress, this isn't working for me. This is how I derail my best efforts.   I need to change my mindset NOW or I will end up regaining the COVID 10 pounds I worked so hard to lose this year.  I'm glad I caught this early.

I woke up (late) to a pretty light snow covering on the ground.  It will be gone this afternoon, but it was so pretty earlier, when it was still dark out.  I don't have anything special planned other than needing to wrap Husband gifts and check with Husband on the status of Daughter's gifts.  Other than that, the usual things:  laundry, gym... oh dear.  Looks dangerously unstructured, so I'd better be on alert against mindless eating.

Tonight is the dress rehearsal for the Christmas pageant that Male Co-Worker is directing, for his church.  I don't want to go to the actual service, but MCW said that the dress rehearsal was tonight and anyone was welcome.  So I might try really hard to go to that, because I feel it's important to be supportive.  (I'm not sure why I feel this way, since he hasn't always been very nice to me.)  Husband says he doesn't want to go AT ALL, unfortunately, so if I want to go, I'll have to go by myself, which I'd rather not.  We'll see what happens...

Without going into it too much, I guess in January, when the Boss is away, there will be some reorganization of office spaces and procedures, according to Male Co-Worker.  We'll see if this actually comes to fruition.  But it was confirmed that the Boss IS actively looking for a new person to work for New Guy... I wonder how Mistakes Girl will feel about that.  I was closing out old files, and the New Guy's files are a MESS.  I usually have a neat and logical, organized method to each of mine.  Just unreal... Oh well, I guess that's what you get when I'm not the one training support staff, and it's not really my place to say anything about it.


Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only 0.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/18/2021:
Bread is a comfort food.....while it's being eaten.....but then doesn't feel very comforting later......UGH...the reality of feeding stress. MCW is looking for attention for himself...but isn't very nice to you...is giving him attention worth your precious weekend time?...Just saying..........but only you can decide.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
I've never had a problem with bread before, but maybe now it's something that I need to be aware of or limit. (Not abstain but just limit...?) However, my Husband thinks it was the ramalade that caused the tummy problems. A relish made from olives, it was very oily and fatty.

I'll write more about the Christmas pageant today (Sunday), but I totally, completely get your point about giving this person my time and attention when he mistreats me a lot. I was really questioning myself this as a form of self-abuse or like an abused person's mentality (where they take back an abusive person). Like, why am I even considering this?

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
I sabotaged myself last night too. If I didn’t learn about spoons and allostatic load from the OT, I would be kicking myself too… I think you just push yourself past your limit to do for everyone else (instead of pushing them to contribute equally) and it runs you down and then you snack on old stuff you don’t enjoy instead of tossing it because you work so hard for everything nothing can go to waste.

Your daughter is 100% capable of shoveling snow.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
I had not thought about myself pushing myself too hard. After all, kind of hard to think that when I ended up looking for work to do on Friday -- meaning, not very busy. However, I realized that this is an accumulative thing, first of all. I'm just spent from the all of the work chaos & drama from earlier this year (and some of it is still ongoing).

So yes, I've been pushing my envelope too far, too many days, and just didn't realize it.

bearcountrygg on 12/18/2021:
I totally agree with Happy.....You work so hard to make everyone else's life easier.........You work hard to wrap up all of the loose ends for everyone else........Hubby made you dinner last night......Hubby needs some time with you...he is your life partner...you guys are a team....I hope you have a good weekend with him!!!!

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
I want to thank you for reminding me about Husband and what I really need to be focused on. :-)

Donkey - Friday Dec 17, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 132.5

Well, dieting friends.... Yesterday was a Diet Fail.  I guess we could call it a "re-fueling" day, to be polite. 

At Work:

So I grabbed the last chocolate mini Bundt cake at work - yes, those stale ones that are now just 1 day away from being rock solid - and tore apart the cake looking to see if there were any chocolate chips in it.  No - and that's GOOD.  So I didn't eat the cake, but I did eat the dollop (1 TBSP?) of buttercream frosting on top. 

Then I went and got one of those sea salt milk chocolate Frango candies and took a small bite.  Ugh, imagine my reaction when it turned out to be milk chocolate covered caramel.  I was like, What is WRONG with this chocolate?  Took a second look at the box and saw it was caramel.  Bleah.  So I didn't finish my piece and threw it out.  OK, that's GOOD too, I guess.

At Home:

We were having breakfast for dinner -- something that I'm OK with, but I never seem to do very well when we have breakfast for dinner, for some reason.  I had decided that I would have a slice of the cinnamon raisin sourdough loaf that my mom got our family for Christmas.  Well, one slice ended up being 2, which then ended up being 3, with the last one being kind of large.  (The loaf is not pre-sliced.)  After that, I was satisfied, almost at the point of feeling full/too full.

Went downstairs to ride my bike and REALLY struggled with the strong desire to have another slice or 2 of the bread.  I checked with my tummy -- still feeling full/too full.  So after my short ride, I just sat on my bike, finishing up the Perry Mason episode I was watching, until I felt confident enough that I could go upstairs to the kitchen and not reach for the bread.  And THAT was successful.


I woke up this morning, not hungry, but also NOT having extraordinary energy from the extra carbs, strangely enough.  You'd think with those carbs, I'd be rarin' to go.  Nope.  On the other hand, I did NOT wake up in the middle of the night with my metabolism on fire - oh I hate it when that happens, and it DIDN'T, and that is VERY GOOD.  Of course, I probably threw away the possibility of having a good weigh-in Saturday morning (tomorrow).  

Yesterday was just a very weak day.  Weak on will-power, weak on motivation.

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -2.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/17/2021:
You don't like caramel? Had to laugh at a youtuber the other day....grown woman....taking a bite of several chocolates and putting the other half back in the box for someone else....LOL...UHHHHHH...not on my watch!!!

Donkey on 12/18/2021:
I'm not a big caramel fan, BUT I *DO* like dark chocolate salted sea caramels. I don't think it works very well with milk chocolate, but that could be because I was prepared for one thing, and ended up with something else.

Oh such cruelty to ruin a box of chocolates like that! ;-)

horn_of_plenty on 12/19/2021:
Lol I’m glad the work snacks again turned out not to be of your liking !!! Lol

With breakfast for dinner may I recommend a heapingside of egg whites ?! That could be helpful —- lately my cooked cranberries that I add sugar alternatives have been great ! Need to make another big of cranberries - have one a year old and one new one both in freezer :)

Do you ever cuddle with hubby or I know you do with the cats - I ask bc cuddling helps me stave off binges a lot … to pull away from eating with a drink on side and stay on the couch with a pig - not easy to get up with them unless I put them back in cage….. takes my mind off eating …

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
That's an interesting idea regarding cuddling. It's difficult because my husband's weight pulls down the couch/sofa surface we sit on and then it becomes very uncomfortable for my back/hips if I'm next to him for too long.

With his spine being fused plus excess weight in front AND my own back/hip/neck issues makes it VERY difficult to be physically near/with him.

Donkey on 12/19/2021:
The extra egg whites are an interesting idea.... I would have to get the type that are in a carton, because I don't want to waste the yolks, if I separated the eggs here at home on my own. I had not considered doing this though, and this might work. Thank you! I can safely say that I would NEVER would have come up with this idea on my own.

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