No change in weight. Better than a gain. This is a good number, I guess.
I'm feeling very frustrated with everything right now.
MORNING EDIT: Decided to go for a walk outside, to get myself feeling centered and right with the world. Unfortunately, I got stuck in the middle of the opening ceremonies for little league baseball. This, in my opinion, is the epitome of what is wrong with our society right now. But rather than dwell on that, I just thanked my lucky stars that I'm done with that phase. I know I've said it here before, but I'm so glad that my kids opted out of organized sports early. I would encourage my daughter (who is athletically gifted) to try out, just for the experience, and she would tell me, "They don't want you to try out unless you're serious about winning." Wow. Again, the epitome of what's wrong with our society.
Anyway, got some stuff done, including laundry and running my water bottle through the dishwasher. I have a few more things planned, for either today or tomorrow, but want to check with my daughter first, to see if she's willing to do any of them with me and if so, when.
Hey, Horn: Is this me being dependent on others to do things myself? (Yep)
AFTERNOON EDIT: Checked in with my daughter and accomplished the 1st thing I wanted to try, which was to go to our park to try out the new outdoor fitness equipment. This was something that I didn't want to try alone the first time. So it's like gym equipment but outside. The machines are desiged to use your own body weight as resistance. All of the upper body machines work for me, but I'm too short and disproportionate to use the leg machines (quad extension and hamstring curls). And the equipment is not under a shelter, so during the hot, sunny days, it won't be useful, but I'll probably be at work anyways, LOL...
My daughter agreed to go shopping with me tomorrow afternoon, so that we can get bags of salt for the water softener, and then I would do grocery shopping and she would visit her friends. I do not need her to go grocery shopping with me, but I do need someone to go with me to lift the heavy bags of salt. (Mr. Donkey cannot do this, nor can I. So sad...)
I am taking 2 large bags of clothes to the church tonight, and I invited asked the hubby if he wanted to go out to dinner afterwards, which of course I knew he would say yes. So while not very diet friendly, that is my plan for a nice evening.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Another 10 hour day in the books, folks... My boss even admitted that yesterday and today were brutal.
We're expecting our son to return on Monday, since he did not return today. It will be good to see him, but I do wish he had been successful with his endeavor. I really hope he tries again. And of course, it will be an adjustment to have him living with us again.
Although I did not weight train this week, I did use my evenings to do nice things for myself. One night I gave myself a hair treatment. Another night I did a facial treament. I'd like to do my nails tonight --- they are all about the right length that I was aiming for ("sporty short" I guess is what it's called).
Tomorrow is weigh day, but I have no hope, now that I've come to the realization that even though I eat very healthy (95% of the time), I just eat too much.
And so even with the impending wedding on May20th, I still haven't really done much towards improving. I know there is still time to improve for the wedding -- and definitely time to think of May goals... but still, geez!
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Also you talking about doing your nails - I do mine now :) I do them at home with a file and cut when necessary and clear polish :) big improvement! Thank you.
I had been cutting them too short and picking them bc I was stressing at new job and now they are better and grown out and that personally feels much better. Truth is, it's good to care about your looks. Self presentation.
The above being said, I need to improve my footwear selection but don't yet bc I prefer comfort to heels lol and my work clothes - I feel I will start to wear jeans less I think and try to dress better too - like you did - but honestly it's $$$$ so I'll hold off .... as long as I am neat I think the clothes can come later / once in awhile.
But back to my point - doing nice treatments for yourself is wonderful and will make you feel good :)
Did not get a lunch break today, so no midday walking. Sat at my desk, because I had to stick around for a closing.
So I ate at my desk. And around 2:15p that familiar craving came by. This time, I had my little container of 13 almonds and 33 chocolate chips, with a reheat of the coffee I had leftover from the morning.
And after that, I was pretty much satisfied for the rest of the day until around 6p, still at work... Didn't leave until almost 6:30p...
Tomorrow I'm getting up early again, like I did on Tuesday. Daughter has to be up early to be at the school for a band field trip. So I will stay up, exercise, and get to work early. Hopefully, I will be able to leave around 5p... on a Friday. Please!
Just now finishing up a short bike ride in the basement, as a substitute for the walk I missed at lunch today.
But I learned something important. Sometimes a little sugar treat goes a long way. BUT --- the caveat is that I can't eat the whole bag or box. I don't trust myself enough not to have an emotional point of weakness, where I end up eating everything. I often struggle with the fantasy of being able to eat it all.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I'm not saying sweets are necessary but carbs are IMO
In spite of being caught up at work yesterday, I still stayed until almost 6:30p.
Sure enough, at 2:16p, started getting that craving. I came prepared today. I had 7 almonds and most of a large apple. In my container of almonds, I brought 33 chocolate chips, at the suggestion of Bear, which is 77 calories, according to the package. But the apple and almonds worked. Then I had raw vegetables and a cheese stick at around 4p. So I consider this a success!
Certain truths became evident to me today, though. I am stuck at this right because of what I eat, i.e I eat too much! Also, if I hadn't made time to change my habits, I could easily weigh 200 lbs., which is where I almost was when I started this journey, this time around.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I've gotten better at portion control over the past year, but there are still some foods that I pretty much have to avoid because I know that I have no self control (cookies mainly).
Good job on coming prepared with a plan of attack for your snack cravings.
like you, if i didn't learn how to be full on less calories, healthy alternatives, i'd be overweight also.
that being said, lately i find that adding more fat into my diet has helped to lessen cravings !!!
Yesterday was such a disaster of a day at work, that I vowed to do better by me today. I set my alarms much earlier for a start. I usually have 2 alarms: one that goes off at 5:30a and then one that goes off at 5:45a. Then I spend over 20 minutes trying to convince myself that it's worth getting out of bed. In the process of this conversation with myself, I stretch my back out to release some of the tension I get overnight.
Today, I set my alarms for 5:15a and 5:30a and 5:45a. So I turned off my 2nd alarm, stretched out my back, and got up before the 5:45a alarm went off. I was dressed and downstairs to work out by 5:55a. Excellent. Finished working out at around 7:10a and got ready for work. Left the house at 7:45a and made it to work a whole hour early at 8:02a.
Worked my butt off all day until 6:14p. Came home, had dinner, and now I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm going to have to put weight-training aside for a little bit -- didn't do legs yesterday, didn't do upper body today... IDK I might try to do legs tonight, but I'm really tired from the extra long day.
Anyway - I AM CAUGHT UP A WORK.... at least for today.
I came to realize the following today:
At around the 2 o'clock hour, I start getting these really strong cravings for fatty carbs, usually sweet (chocolate) but sometimes salty (chips). Even though I finished lunch less than an hour ago. My lunch today was substantial - around 560 calories - with plenty of protein, fiber, and plant-based carbs (beans). I thought I was going to go out of my mind with this craving. I had 3 choices today: sweet potato, grapefruit, or raw vegetables. I settled for raw vegetables with ranch dressing (for the fat). That carried me through 3:30p and then I felt OK. Not really satisfied, but really full.
What can I do about this? Yesterday, I had microwave popcorn (light). That was the last packet, and I'm not buying more. I've found, in the past, that if I start with the chocolates, it's REALLY hard to stop at just 1 -- it usually carries over to about 4. Then I feel like crap for the rest of the afternoon. I have hot chocolate that I could make, but that's not eating, that's drinking, and that doesn't work. Sugar free candy doesn't work. I'm drinking plenty of water throughout the day, and I suppose I could chug down some more but that's not really satisfying.
I'm sure this is stress related, because at around 2pm is when I start to realize that I've got to address any deadlines that haven't already been met during the day. (I can't really tackle these sooner, unless they come to fruition on their own, because I have until the end of the business day to send out notices.) Chewing gum sometimes helps but not always...
Maybe it's just something that I have to put up with and push through, just by the nature of what it is. I don't know. Half the battle is being able to identify our weaknesses, and so I'm halfway there. Just wish I had a solution to help me get through it.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I can see that after today, I'm going to have to come up with an approach for this real estate season, to help me maintain a healthy work-life balance. Today I knew as soon as I woke up that I couldn't wait for the day to be over. And sure enough, I struggled all day long, trying to keep up with emails and keeping the files straight. I didn't feel confident enough to leave until 6:15p. At least I do get paid overtime, so there's no great loss without some gain. And the extra money will be very helpful coming into the home stretch this month. (finger's crossed - hoping for an improved financial situation come June)
I cannot do the low carb thing that my husband is doing (as a result of being busted with eating pizza for lunch). At around 2pm my sugar levels drop and my stress levels rise, and I can't function. I think if I were doing something else in the aftenoon, I would be able to pull through. Today, I had a 100-calorie bag of popcorn -- promptly burnt most of it in the microwave but that didn't stop me from enjoying it. BUT I think for the remainder of the week, I will use sweet potatoes (halves), and see if that does the trick. I think the problem was that I didn't have any meat, and the plant-based protein I had wasn't enough to sustain me. Meat tends to just sit in my stomach like a rock.
So today was a not a good day, living wise, but overall, life is pretty good. But I *do* definitely have to put limitations on my time at work. It might have to be working until 6pm..... I hate that. And I don't want to come in really early because that's when I exercise.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
Not feeling particularly energetic or spectacular today, but I still had an AWESOME cardio performance this morning, weight training session, and accomplishments in yard work! Sunny and warmer weather -- not actually warm, but warmer at upper 50's -- really does me well.
I already did my upper body weights today, and I used my heavier weights. I'm going to try to use the heavier weights this week, for upper body. I only use my own body weight with my lower body -- not so much so that I don't bulk up - but rather because of my hips, knees, and back. I took a "before" picture of my tree trunk legs. I want to see where I'm at by the time the wedding comes on May 20th. I remembered yesterday how I was going to use the wedding as a "goal" event, but that disappeared after the bridal shower, as I came away feeling sad, rather than empowered and motivated like I thought I would. That I remembered that I could still use the wedding as a "goal" kind of cheered me up yesterday, actually.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
if not - remember this: weights will NOT cause women to bulk up. So if you able, weights can be used at times. However, there's many exercises that you don't even need them for...so you are probably more than ok with whatever you are doing.
I dislike some things my legs a little too...they have no muscle. but, due to my persistence in doing lots of exercises that i don't even enjoy, certain things are getting better :)
Donkey, it's up to you to want to make yourself happy. It's not easy. I face a lot of the same issues with social events. But remember this, you ARE in charge of your own happiness. I totally think you should make the wedding a goal :)
And then, besides that, remember that it's one point in your life...and not the end all be all....but do your best and if you do your best, you can be happy about it.
I also have the wedding in August, and i have a goal to look good there, too.
Right now, i'm not going on any special diet and may not even closer in August...my goals this year are to get my cardio back to par and i'm thinking i may lose a few pounds doing that....
anyways, we both know fad diets aren't the best...so i wouldn't recommend you go crazy just to have weight come back on afterwards? so, instead, i recommend you keep on doing your thing...and yes keep the wedding as your goal of the "why" you do what you do know. I agree with Gains...goal dates help immensely.
and after the wedding, you have to pick a new reason "why."
actually, with most of my exercise, i've always had a reason "why."
Did the right things, gained another pound...
EVENING EDIT: It was a productive day: legal clinic in the morning, yard work in the afternoon, laundry. I *really* wanted to see the high school musical tonight -- it is the last one that will have any friends of my daughter's since they all graduate next month. However, I missed the matinee this afternoon because of the yard work. And I just felt too rushed and conflicted to go this evening, for the last performance. "Once Upon A Mattress". I don't know the script, other than it's based on the fairy tale, but I just love the gal who has the lead.
Alas, I had to really dig deep and evaluate my priorities. Truth be told, after the busy and stress-filled week I've had at work and with family, I just need some calm, down time tonight. So instead of going to the musical, I took a walk with my daughter, and we're all just chilling out here tonight, doing our own thing.
I hope to go to sleep early tonight, 9:30p tops.
Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!
I'm thinking it might be water retention from the consistent weight training I've been doing. Like you, I changed up my routine a bit, and also took all the movements much slower, to feel the muscles get to the point of fatigue. Thought I'd wake up really sore, but not really.
Still, I remain hopeful to start seeing some progress on the arms and tree trunk legs.
Warmer weather will bring a change in routine. I'm kind of excited to see where this summer will take me :-)
Thank you for the very helpful feedback to my previous entry. My time is short here this morning, but I wanted to thank you. I hope to write more tonight regarding my insights on my son's decision, not so much what he will be doing, but rather, my reactions & pro-actions so that he is encouraged and motivated to keep moving forward. I realize I can't make his choices for him, but I do recognize that how I act & re-act could influence him significantly. Encouragement and kindness go a long way, sort of thing.
EVENING EDIT: Whatever positive feelings I was having this morning have totally vanished after 9 grueling hours at work. I think I was going to comment that if my son decides to try to re-enlist in 6 months, and USE the 6 months at home to train, that this would be motivation for me to work harder too. I can get a pretty decent gym membership at the park district, but it's not really convenient for me to get to. I can buy a punch-card for personal training sessions, which might be a worth investment of money for myself.
The biggest blow today came from a family arguement about my husband's eating. You might be thinking, "I thought Donkey said she was at work for 9 hours today." YES, you are RIGHT -- but that didn't start a HUGE flare of texts between myself, my husband, and my daughter, who caught my husband eating a pizza. He lost (some) weight to qualify for the hip surgery, still has at least 25 pounds to go to where he can be just out of the "obese" category. So he has supposively been trying, but I haven't seen much progress on the scale, quite frankly, since his surgery in November.
It's not so much the "cheating" with the pizza, as it is that we just had a discussion about how he needs to lose weight as there are certain physical things that are harder to do when one is so fat in front. I have lost all of the weight that I can, which is nearly 55 pounds, and I have a bad back. So I feel like I've done my part, now he needs to his part, and he's not.
The other thing that REALLY irks me is that he wanted a "date night" and I suggested pizza, and he said he wasn't really in the mood for pizza, doesn't really think about pizza much any more, blah blah blah. And then this.
So yeah, he chose a pizza over me. That's pretty much how I see it.
My daughter went out with friends tonight - thankfully - so it was just he and I for dinner, and believe me, I did not feel much like eating, much less with him, but I did, because I was a little hungry. I had a big salad w/croutons & dressing and a sweet potato w/butter. I didn't want anything to do with the steak that he had prepared. WOW I hadn't realized out "beefed" out I was. It was so nice to have a meatless meal for a change.
So now I'm thinking that I'm under no obligation to eat everything that he cooks. He's a meat-eater. If the meal doesn't have meat, it's not a meal. I can just have the vegetables and open a can of beans. I think I'd like to try this more often and see where it takes me. I'm not sure how I would formulate this. Maybe eat meat dinners 3x a week? 4?
It's difficult, especially because the high-protein low-carb works so well for me, appetite wise (definitely helps decrease the binge eating), but every time I've tried to go vegetarian (not vegan - just cutting out the meat), it's backfired on me BIG TIME. And by BIG I mean, gaining weight back again. And that's NOT going to happen again...
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
It's late, for me, so this will be short.
Lunch was surreal. The original lunch with the realtor, was canceled because of the weather, but I didn't bring a lunch to work. So the attorney took the assistant and myself out to lunch. I felt like I was a third wheel on their date, lol. Had a wonderful chicken wild rice soup, half a chicken sandwich, and a small fresh fruit cup. I have other half of sandwich for lunch tomorrow.
Came back to the bad news that my son will be coming home. He was unable to pass the push up test and he is out of extensions.
So really full and bad news don't really go well together. Add in a bunch of really crazy emails, clients, agents... Well, today kind of sucked.
Didn't let that stop me from doing some additional cardio on the bike tonight and then lower body isometric. I'm determined to work on my tree trunk legs.
Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!
...there are many civil service jobs he can continue to train for: Police, Firefighter, Garbage, Court Officer, different types of police - like highway patrol, specialized, etc..
he is first a man, not a woman like myself, so he already has a better strength advantage for these tests. If he can still live at home and train himself with running and more gym strength training, he can pass those fitness entrance exams and have a job for life...something i haven't been able to achieve now 80% due to my lack of fitness. He is young, can train...get a simple job at home just to make some cash for now, and have a good job for all the years to come - if this is what he's looking for. that's just how i view the world, of course there's many other options. also, i am truly very sorry to hear your son didn't pass. but he's young and this is not the end of his life!!!!!! he can go on and he will be ok.
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Breathe...it will all work out. Maybe you are at a plateau....and your body is content there.
bearcountrygg on 04/28/2018:
Love the idea of your park...I wish we had one of those around here.
horn_of_plenty on 04/29/2018:
To answer your question above - NO!
I think it's wonderful you can do errands with. Daughter !
It's so nice to do some things with others than to be in your head all day - I hope once again to find that friend or mate that I can do some things with again!
She is your family and it's better she do some things with you than sit home on her booty. In back of my head, I DO wish my parents expected MUCH more of me with errands and assisting and even shopping with them on weekends when I was a kid and up to age 18. I got away with murder and the laziness persists now . So yeah I think it's great she is with you and social with you! Wonderful.
horn_of_plenty on 04/29/2018:
That outdoor park equipment is nice and like you in the summer I'll go there prob early so I can workout when it's not 100 degrees!
Also going there in evening after work itnwont be too hot!