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Donkey - Monday Dec 06, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

Happy Monday morning!  I have planned ahead my wardrobe and my lunch & snacks for work, so I'm anticipating a smooth morning.  I got up on time, which is actually "early" for a cardio only day, which gave me more time to clean up after the cats (don't ask) and figure out how to replace the monitor batteries in my old recumbent bike. I had to time my own intervals, because the console was so faint to read (dying batteries) without extra lighting.

I pared down my weekly goals.  Thank you to Happy for helping me see this clearly.  I was setting myself up for too much stress and failure.  A LOT of this whole dieting journey - for me - is recognizing and realizing triggers, stressors, etc., before they become an obstacle or problem.

I have a very easy book to read, which I can read at night, before bed, if time permits.  I already know that I will do weight training during the week anyway, so that need not really be a goal.  

There is a Christmas Big Breakfast for the disabled Veterans group.  I'm not really big on going this year, but I will go if Husband wants to go. It's in a smaller room, and people won't be wearing masks because they're eating and drinking.  I'm not a big breakfast person, and the last thing I need is a big breakfast the weekend before my Doctor's appointment.  But I can appreciate Husband's need or desire to socialize too.  So we'll see.

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/06/2021:
i also have a pretty easy (short) book to read. same here also, i need to work more on triggers and also my eating is startign to go a little arigh...off...especially on weekend without a plan. i want to improve.

maybe a big breakfast is good before doc, it will prevent you from total destruction! LOL, JK!


bearcountrygg on 12/06/2021:
Good planning!!! I think you are wise to pare down your goals......slow and steady wins the race!!! When you give yourself too many rules it is so much easier to just chuck it all and not do any........bit by bit....it will all work together.


bearcountrygg on 12/06/2021:
That would be nice to go to the breakfast with your hubby...and eat lightly.....after all...you also need to feel good when you go to the doctor....and it would be very good for him to attend if he wants too. Thank him for his service from me!!!!

Donkey on 12/07/2021:
I will - thank you! I asked him again, in a neutral sort of way, if he wanted to RSVP for the breakfast and he said no. So I'm not going to push it. I don't think he's socially isolating but this year, I too am OK with missing this.


legcramps on 12/06/2021:
I think the dieting journey is like this for everyone - reading signs, developing coping mechanisms, etc. The dieting process is about so much more than just what we eat! Gosh, what is our body doing that day, what about our hormones, how are we feeling, what kind of mood are we in, how have other people or situations affected our clarity in decision-making, etc. etc. etc. So many factors!


Jacky82020 on 12/06/2021:
Donk, check & see if YouTube has any videos on how to replace the batteries. I get so much instructional info there

Donkey on 12/07/2021:
That was my next step, but I figured out how to change the batteries before resorting to YouTube or downloading the owner's manual (which was what Google recommended). Once I found where the batteries were kept, it was much easier.


Jacky82020 on 12/07/2021:
Yay!



Donkey - Sunday Dec 05, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

Good morning!  Turned off the lights last night just before 10pm, so I slept in this morning, which is fine.  However, because I got started on my bike ride later, breakfast was later and I was READY for it!  This actually works better, so there won't be any 10am cravings for a snack, and lunch at 11am will be just fine, for gym at 12:30p-ish.


I had very good session at the gym, as it was not very crowded until the very end, when several small groups of boys/young men came in around the weight area. Yeah, I was done.  Good-bye.  I have no plans to attend the dumbbell class today, so I will go later this afternoon and just do my own thing, which is what I love doing best anyway.

After dinner was a little bit of a struggle.  One thing I notice is that after meals, I'm not feeling FULL. I'm feeling content, but not that feeling of FULL.  So later, I feel a twinge of hunger, which is not comfortable but not uncomfortable enough to act upon, especially if I'm already upstairs for bed.  Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be?  IDK....


I did a little research into meeting up with a barbell group, but ended up getting discouraged. I won't give up, but I had to stop at the moment.  Add to that a slightly negative/discouraging conversation with Husband, which I also ended by changing the subject.  Let's just say he's not really in favor of me doing heavy lifting.  Risk of injury is probably his major concern.  IDK maybe there's more to it, but when I saw things were going in a negative direction, I thought it best to just focus on things that are positive at the moment.

So I haven't given up on my pursuit of this.

As Horn touched on in her comments to me yesterday, I'm waivering on my planned timeline for a job change.  Part of it has to do with the recent changes and chaos, but mostly and more importantly, I'm not sure if the grass would be greener on the other side.  That's the thing.

Finally, I have a Zoom meeting on Thursday night, to discuss changes that are coming to the legal clinic that I volunteer with.  Our clinic has been on hiatus since COVID, but now we're being pushed (HARD) to re-open, and the person who has been leading us is stepping down. So changes, more changes.  This is 100% volunteer, so there is NO WAY that I want to do this.  Seriously, the amount of effort (work), time, and commitment it takes SHOULD demand a salary.  Ridiculous.

So many things are changing, and I realize I am changing too.  It's all too overwhelming to think about.

 

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/05/2021:
I should be more clear: The legal clinic is volunteering, so I wouldn't want to step up to be the clinic leader without getting paid for my time & effort. It's hard enough, to be honest, to be a regular volunteer intake specialist. Being the leader, though, takes a LOT more time, which I don't have for free.


horn_of_plenty on 12/05/2021:
I see no problem or issue in your personal decision to stay at your job longer - paychecks are a good thing and you are needed there !

Let us know how the legal clinic zoom goes - it’s hard to give time for no monetary return, def. I see that !

Also maybe hubby is slightly jealous you can do the weights and all and wishes he could but I don’t really see that he would be that type of guy, or perhaps he just cares !

Donkey on 12/05/2021:
With my Husband, I think it's a combo of all 3. He doesn't want me to get hurt, obviously, but also because I do a lot, and if I'm down, then there's nobody to do those things. I'm not saying he's selfish, but rather, it's more of us being able to manage ourselves.

I do wonder if he feels a little left out. I haven't figured this out. When Daughter was trying to get into the Marines, he was all about helping her become her physical fitness best. He's totally OK with me getting stronger... but I'm not sure he's OK with me building bulk. This should not be much of an issue either, because I don't bulk up very easily.


happy-1 on 12/11/2021:
Donkey... You're more likely to get lean than build bulk. Guys build bulk because they have testosterone.



Donkey - Sunday Dec 05, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

December Goals Week #1 Recap:

  • No candy at work - DONE
  • Bed before 10pm - DONE (but really pushed it a couple of nights, which is not ideal)
  • Meditation at work, 5 minutes - DONE!

December Goals Week #2: **UPDATED**

  • No candy at work
  • No second helpings at dinner
  • Weights 3x a week (Sun./ Wed. / Sat.) -- Zoom meeting will cut this from 4x a week to 3x.
  • Read 10 minutes a day
  • Bed by 9:30pm -- excluding Thursday night because of Zoom meeting 

Let's see if I can continue meditating at work on my own, without this being goal

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/05/2021:
Good job! What about only 1 goal at a time?

Donkey on 12/06/2021:
Excellent point - I have updated my list appropriately. I don't need this self-imposed extra stress in my life right now.


horn_of_plenty on 12/06/2021:
Nice job on week 1 I’m impressed !! Maybe this is what I need also with walking ….

I hope you can get in meditating !

Off to a great start donkey !

Donkey on 12/06/2021:
Thank you - I've pared it down a little, because some of the things aren't really "goals" per se but rather just part of a to-do list for this week.

As Happy pointed out, it might serve me better, on a stress level, to focus on less.


legcramps on 12/06/2021:
I have a 10:00 p.m. bedtime "goal" also, but I rarely reach it. If it's because I still need to shower, or prep my food for the next workday - that's just how my day went. I think it should be more of a flexible goal - maybe rather than being "bed before 10pm" it's "start getting ready for bed once 9pm rolls around and hopefully you'll be comfy under the covers within the hour but if not, you'll be close" LOL.

I think it's great that you pared back your goals. We don't need to add stress where it might not be necessary!



Donkey - Saturday Dec 04, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 134.5

Good Saturday morning!  Hello weekend!  


Yesterday, when I was at work, I thought of you all, wishing that I could post from work.  It's not bad enough that Associate Attorney's wife has COVID, and he still comes to work ("I'm vaccinated and wearing a mask, so everyone should be OK") -- this after a family reunion over Thanksgiving in Wisconsin, but then I find out that Queen Bee is NOT vaccinated (doesn't believe in it) AND doesn't wear a mask (doesn't believe they work). On top of all of this, New Guy is struggling with some kind of cold or sinus infection, looking for meds in the office that haven't expired. (Throw that stuff OUT, dude!)

New Gal DID show up - and I heard Male Co-Worker asking her to make corrections and catch up on missing documents that she's responsible for.  She is quite behind, and frankly, I'm not so sure that she's picking up how to do things in our office, but not my place to say anything that could actually fix that.  The Boss says that she's still learning and we need to give her time.  It surprised me A LOT that instead of starting to teach New Gal how to assist New Guy (since they both speak Spanish), he continued to train Queen Bee on how to help him.  An interesting approach.  That's not what I would do, anticipating that Mistakes Girl will be in and out until she's finally out, but oh well, that's not my place to say anything about it.

It sure felt good to leave all of that behind.  Monday will be very busy for Mistakes Girl. I hope she's physically up to it.


Husband and I did not go to Chair Yoga last night.  He was not having a good day and felt like he was coming down with a cold.  I too was struggling with a dull headache - not sure if that was the start of getting sick, or just from the stress of having to deal with Queen Bee - so I was OK with skipping this month.  If Husband HAD wanted to go, I definitely would have gone.

I remained disciplined at dinner and afterwards, other than to have croutons on my salad.  Did I want 2nd helpings? YES.  Did I want a little something extra after my dessert piece of chocolate?  YOU BET.  But I stayed strong and on course.  And I am grateful that it paid off with this morning's weigh-in.  I was a little nervous because TOM is due soon, and there's usually some bloating and/or inflammation involved with that.  Also, I had real doubts before stepping on the scale, as I didn't feel particulary deprived or hungry.  Actually did feel kind of bloated in the tummy.

This particular weight-loss is important for reaching my goal for my Doctor's appointment.  Based on this weigh-in, I would like to drop 2 more pounds in 2 more weeks.  Oops, I have only 1 week left.  Well, OK - I'd still like to lose 2 more pounds, but if I can drop at least 1 more pound next week, then I would be OK with that.  As long as the numbers are headed down, overall, I'd be OK with that, to start the New Year on a good foot.  


I may not have an office Christmas party to deal with.  The Boss was talking about having it the week between Christmas and New Year's like his Daughter's business is doing.  This will be the last time I talk about the office party.  The good thing though is that if we have it between Christmas and New Year's, I'll be sick of eating by then, because we will have had Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Anniversary dinners, so I probably won't eat as much..  Oof, my tummy is already hurting at the thought of all that extra food.  I may be starting 2022 on a higher number than I'd like.  Thank goodness my Doctor's appointment is before all that eating.


Anyway, that's off in the future.  Right now I'm focused on today and looking forward to a wonderful, calm, fun day doing my usual Donkey things (you know me:  laundry, gym, etc.).  This weekend, though, I won't be "relaxing" too much on my eating, because of the impending medical appointment.  

Also, I need to start thinking of new goals for next week! :-)

 

 

Progress as of today: 52 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/04/2021:
Hello! I commented briefly on your yesterday entry and will tackle this one soon !!

Donkey on 12/05/2021:
Yes, I saw that and responded. Thanks! I'm a little bit behind commenting on yours. Not sure what happened. All in the timing, as I didn't log back in after writing yesterday.


horn_of_plenty on 12/04/2021:
I guess you are thankful for you dr appt bc you are using it to remain a bit on track !!! Lots of drama at your office ! I was thinking, maybe your boss is very used to drama and things happening with members of his staff. Perhaps it was that way years before you joined his team and that’s why he acts or doesn’t react to them…

So I assume you have decided to work more into 2022 ? I think it’s smart to keep the paycheck as long as you can if you don’t have anything else

Donkey on 12/05/2021:
I hadn't realized about using the Doctor's appointment in this manner, but you're RIGHT! And yes, I guess I am thankful, because I can see there are a LOT of opportunities for temptation.

I am also curtailing my consumption of dessert chocolate. I would usually have a square. Lately, I'm having about half a square. Basically, it's around 50-60 calories for dessert. I don't need a daily dessert, just a little "sweet" to top off my palate.

I don't think I'd be doing that if it weren't for the Doctor's appointment. However, I think this is something that I'm going to keep doing after the appointment.

Donkey on 12/05/2021:
(Hangs head in shame) Yes, I have given new consideration to staying at this job a little bit longer into 2022. Let's just say I'm not as confident or certain in my timeline plan as I was before.

I guess I'm on the Titanic, and I'm still trying to decide if I should get into one of the lifeboats or not.


happy-1 on 12/05/2021:
I think your boss likes the drama

Donkey on 12/05/2021:
LOL - yes, that might be right. I never thought about it that way. Perhaps one of the reasons why he doesn't hang out by my desk too much is because I never have anything interesting happening in my life -- according to him. I LOVE my quiet weekends. He always wants to know what adventures everyone had. No thanks.



Donkey - Friday Dec 03, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

I've run out of time this morning to write my own entry, so here is a status update:

  • Really had to dig deep at work not to eat candy or snack on other work food, but I stayed strong and true to my weekly goal and pulled through.
  • New Gal should be back in the office today; Mistakes Girl says she'll be back on Monday (even though she's still having some slight bleeding; this is not what I would choose to do, but that's all I have to say about that)
  • I did meditate at work for 5 minutes. It wasn't an ideal break in the morning, but rather a refocusing after my lunchtime walk, to reset my mind for the afternoon.  It still worked!
  • Got in some extra lower body weights at home last night.  Good!
  • Today is cardio only, no weights
  • Tonight is Chair Yoga with the Husband; dinner will be take-out sub sandwiches.  I usually eat 1/4 and supplement with salad and vegetables.

Looking forward to the weekend:  sleep, gym, working on readjusting Christmas lights, organizing & maybe wrapping Christmas gifts.

 

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/03/2021:
Mistakes Girl must really need the money. Prayers for her.

Donkey on 12/04/2021:
The thing is she and her husband really don't really "need" the money, in the sense that if they readjusted their lifestyle a little bit, they'd be fine with her at home. They like to travel a lot, they like buy "toys" (motorcycles, electronics, a new truck, etc.), etc.

For her it's more of a mental thing. My goodness if I hear one more time from ANYONE in the office, "I've been working since I'm 16, I can't stop now" - I'm gonna split my pants.


happy-1 on 12/03/2021:
More and more I want you to join a bodybuilding group and get the energy of a team behind you.

Donkey on 12/04/2021:
Yes, you are right. I just haven't explored this much, and I owe it to myself to do that.


Jacky82020 on 12/03/2021:
You’ve earned a good weekend, Donk. Enjoy!

Donkey on 12/04/2021:
Indeed! This is exactly how I felt last night when I came home from work. I survived a whole week of craziness. I intend to squeeze as much positivity from this weekend as possible.


Jacky82020 on 12/04/2021:
Enjoy, Sweet Kind Donkey! HUGS


horn_of_plenty on 12/04/2021:
Remember that a taste if chocolate, candy, couple rookies won’t ruin your progress and may even help you - even if you do it and write it here !

Either way very nice work sticking to your goals this week.

Also good work continuing with meditation and exercise goals! Especially the extra leg strengthening !!!



Donkey - Thursday Dec 02, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

I was able to sleep last night - quite well, actually.  I did have to practice some deep cleansing breaths, but visualizing clouds in the sky, and waves pulling away from the shore REALLY helped.


I know my Boss will make good on getting paid for the missing week, but this will be one of the first things that I talk to him about this morning.  I don't anticipate this being an issue after today, so this will not "eat" away at me after today.

I'll just have to deal with the Queen Bee issue, quietly.  It will be VERY important that I STAND BACK and BE QUIET about everything.  I will be an observer, not a participant.  And this is OK.

Also, what perfect timing that I chose the 5-minute meditations at work for this week's goal!  I did manage this yesterday, and it really helped!


I have been thinking about InnerPeace's post from yesterday, regarding the need to focus on happiness over health.  It made me realize that they aren't really equivalent.  And one doesn't necessarily bring the other.  Healthy people can be unhappy; unhappy people can be healthy.  Health doesn't necessarily bring happiness, and definitely vice versa. 

It amazes me to see people (in real life, with me) who have health challenges who don't make their health a higher priority.   I don't understand why my Boss doesn't take better care of himself after his heart attack.  I don't understand why Mistakes Girl is so eager to get back to work, when she's already having difficulties with her new pregnancy.  How about my Husband who struggles with mobility, weight, pain, but doesn't do much about it.  I just don't get it.  I don't think I'm judging; I'm not in their shoes.  But I feel like if this were me, I would do everything in my power to turn things around.

Anyway, the only person I can control is myself, and so that's what I really need to be focused on.  Ha ha -- I just realized that my work problems and my diet problems would be solved by the same action: 

KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT!


I was able to do a couple of lower body weights this morning.  <<Learned my lesson and got up early/on time, rather than waiting for the 2nd alarm!  I will work with the barbell tonight, maybe some dumbbell lunges.

Wow, what a great day ahead of me:  I got chili for lunch and barbell & dumbbells tonight -- that's a lot to look forward to!!!  I'll make it through the day with these motivations :-)

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/02/2021:
I suspect that for a lot of people.....what keeps them in trouble is what also keeps them sane. If the crutch is there then they function...take the crutch away and they are more afraid of the change....kind of like a last binge before the diet...totally counter productive yet....that binge is a feel good thing that is strangely calming....before the coming earth shattering shake up. Hope that makes sense! That is a great way to go into work today....make it work for YOU !!!!

Donkey on 12/03/2021:
This is true. And I admit to using things like chocolate or coffee to keep me sane. The key is that there are other coping mechanisms to reach for - some are more effective than others. I just don't always remember to do that in time.


Maria7 on 12/02/2021:
Yes, we have no control over any other people besides ourselves and we waste our time trying to talk to them a lot of times. They'll go along with what you are saying but keep doing their 'thing' which is the most comfortable for them because that is what makes them feel happiest. Sometimes, what we think matters a lot, matters VERY LITTLE.

Donkey on 12/03/2021:
"Keep doing their thing which is the most comfortable for them because that is what makes them feel happiest."

Right there - bingo, 100%.

I've actually pulled back quite a bit with my Husband's weight, because I've come to realize that it's his journey. I just worry about him. So does Daughter.


Maria7 on 12/02/2021:
Actually, not only matters VERY LITTLE, but doesn't even matter AT ALL...

Donkey on 12/03/2021:
Agreed - and the way I see it is that I'm not in this person's shoes, I haven't lived his/her life, so I don't know what burdens they carry with them. I can only speak to what has worked for me.

It's so hard though, when I see things that are like "Hey, you're not going to lose any weight doing that" but realize that anything I have to say isn't going to do any good other than to raise negative emotions (and possible hurt feelings) -- and nobody wants/needs that in the world.


horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2021:
regarding sleep, i know this week with my cravings of sleeping way more, it's prob helping prevent getting sick also on my end...


horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2021:
re a 3lb november gain...overall it's not a lot, so think small & continue to think small on where you want to be end of this month. small goals are best and most achievable...


horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2021:
glad you had a pizza night, seems it doesn't come around much to you. remember, salads and cooked veggies CAN be incorporated into pizza nights..


horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2021:
yeah, remind boss's son of the check of course that you are missing from thanksgiving...lol, it's not like it's an option to pay you or not! he needs a reminder!

Donkey on 12/03/2021:
This issue has been corrected, thankfully. My Boss was not a jerk about it either. He DOES want to make sure his employees are paid for their time. He's very aware of that.


horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2021:
i know there's special ob/gyn's for at risk mothers....a friend of mine will need one of those bc she has had 2 miscarraiges. she has a weak musculature down there to hold the baby in she was told...

remember, you cannot change what is going on around you. this is a time to care for your health...remember only this...and do the job as well as you can for the paycheck. you can do it, but try not to take others issues to heart........this is why it seems you cannot be fired...maybe try to get a raise....bc of all the change...i don't think you are at any risk of losing your position so maybe try to get a raise out of this...of at least 2-3 dollars....think about it.


horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2021:
yeah, you don't actually work FOR queen bee....so try to only deal with her as completely when it's necessary, you got this!

i'm glad you put something first for yourself with the meditations...

so, i guess you answered that question about happiness v. health....people are choosing happienss....though i'm sure you cannot be happy with so many challenges of health but those people do not have to change their lifelong unhealthy habits....i guess changing habits is hard....or everyone would be healthy! ha!


Jacky82020 on 12/02/2021:
You got that right, my Donkey Friend. Best to remain silent sometimes, useful comments often are viewed as judgmental criticisms & can only foster negatively. I too am amazed at all the bad lifestyle choices people make. Much of what ails us is lifestyle, not genetics or anything else. Operative word Much.

I can only control my lifestyle & that of my many pets. The dogs & cats are weighed on a regular basis & their weights recorded. We’ve had too many vets tell us our pets are overweight & it will affect eventually harm them the way it does humans.


coffee&calories on 12/02/2021:
Keeping our mouth shut can be SO HARD when we just don't understand why someone is doing something - but you're right, it's usually best to mind our own business unless they ask for our opinion. Hardest with family members I find!

Donkey on 12/03/2021:
TRUTH!!!!


happy-1 on 12/02/2021:
I’m with you. I’d do everything in my power to turn things around too.

Donkey on 12/03/2021:
Yep. And I probably wouldn't be very happy while doing it - had to be happy when one doesn't feel well or is in pain. But I'd still do whatever I could.

I need to remember this conversation the next time I hurt my back.



Donkey - Wednesday Dec 01, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

OK, so I have to get this off of my chest tonight so that I can get some semblence of sleep, because this is really honking me off right now.

First:

I didn't get paid yet for the week of Thanksgiving!!!  Timesheets had to be submitted as early as possible, and I didn't get to updating mine until around 9:30am, which is when we lost electricity for 5 hours.  So when the power came back on, I submitted my timesheet, figuring I'd get 2 paystubs THIS week.

Well, paystubs for this week came out today, and I NEVER check these at work, because it's personal -- and frankly, because I forgot because I was TOO BUSY to remember to do so.  However, I remembered when I got home, and sure enough.  I got paid for THIS week but NOT last week.  And I even spoke to the Boss about this.  Do I need to resubmit my timesheet?  No, that would confuse things.  Will I get 2 paystubs this week?  Yes, you'll get paid.

Didn't happen. This is just so typical of my Boss.  (His son-in-law does the payroll most of the time, and I'm sure he just ignored my email from last week.)  So now I have to drag this unpleasantness into tomorrow and, if I'm honest here, demand that I get paid for that week, like NOW.  I need that check.


Second:

So Mistakes Girl is out until next week, when she has a doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  She started having heavy bleeding, so she called her doctor, put herself on bedrest, and decided that she would not come in until after she had the OK from the doctor --- I'm guessing this is the fetal specialist? But maybe it's just her OB/GYN.  So guess who came in today to help out?  Queen Bee!  OMG, what a nightmare.  Picture it, I walk in, I'm running late, so I'm already kind of flustered, and my stupid Boss hits me with this news.  

Ya know, I don't think I can do this for another 4-6 months, completely second guessing whether things will be OK, or will Queen Bee be swarming around the hive?  She says, I can't stay home for 6 months, I'll go crazy.  Hello, you're a very high risk pregnancy patient!  STAY HOME.

Male Co-Worker says that the Boss has it in his mind that he needs to find her replacement.  YA THINK???  Um YEAH!!!! 

Either start training New Gal to step it up - because she's not doing a good job at opening contracts, that's for sure -- or hire someone who can really help us (and speaks Spanish).  

By the end of the day, my ears were ringing with the constant chatter from Queen Bee.  


And so now that I've gotten this all off my chest, I can focus on just letting it go, like clouds dissolving into a blue sky.... waves as they pull from the shore....  And hopefully get some good sleep.

Peace be with you all tonight.  Namaste.

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/02/2021:
That is rough when walking into work feels like walking into a storm.

Donkey on 12/02/2021:
DEFINITELY -- and it really STINKS when you're not getting PAID for it. My Boss has no concept that some people actually need their checks on time. It's the first of the month, the mortgage is due!!! <<<He has no idea what that means, to live that way.


happy-1 on 12/02/2021:
Hugs.



Donkey - Wednesday Dec 01, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

November Recap:

  • Gained 3 pounds - UGH TAKE A LOOK AT MY GRAPH :-(
  • Met my push-ups goal, doing 3 sets of 20 reps every day - DID THIS.
  • Jumping jacks - no-go:  had to forfeit this goal due to lower back issues
  • Go to bed, lights out, before 10pm every night -- did this 29 out of 30 nights.  The one night I missed, I went to bed at 10:18pm. I think it was the Friday after Thanksgiving, so fortunately, I could make up the sleeping time.

The 3-pound gain is not where I want to be.  Disconcerting.


December Goals Week #1 (a short week, Wed.-Sat.):

  • Bed before 10pm  
  • Meditate at work for 5 minutes (W-F)
  • No unplanned eating at work (e.g. chocolates, unexpected cookies, etc.)
  • Mindful eating (see below)

I'm trying to avoid steadfast tracking, so I'm hoping that just being mindful will be sufficient.

Also, I didn't want to write this as a goal, per se, because I'm not really feeling it, but I'd like to get back to 135 for Saturday's weigh-in, so that I can use next week to work on getting UNDER goal weight for my Doctor's appointment.


The thing I love about this journey is that I keep learning new things.  For example, I learned this morning that on days that I want to weight train, I need to get up and going before 5:15am.  Any later than that, and there just isn't enough time in the morning.  This helps, because I can set my alarms appropriately, and "sleep in" on days that are just cardio (to loosen up my back).

Also learned last night:  I'm probably not going to lose any weight being a "human garbage can" trying to finish up leftovers.  Daughter had gotten a pizza a few days ago, and the box was really inconvenient in the refrigerator.  So I mentioned to Husband that he and I should finish that up for dinner, because it's in the way, it's getting old, and Daughter doesn't do well with eating leftovers much.  (I don't think she liked the pizza, if you ask me.)

So I had 2 pieces of pepperoni pizza.  It was cut into triangle slices (not smaller squares).  The bottom crust was VERY thin, but the "handle" part of the slice was a very thick, crusty bread.  I had 2.5 pieces, because I told husband, I'd rather just have the crusts than the actual pizza.  So the last piece, he took the pizza part (with the cheese & pepperoni), and he gave me his very nice, thick bready crust. I should have done that with piece #2, too, but oh well.

Now the pizza is gone. Moving forward...


New Gal was out of the office (sick) yesterday, so I ended up finishing up opening up contracts. I stayed until 6:15pm last night, which meant that there would be no chance of doing weights last night.  Because she was out, I ended up falling behind in my own work and started getting some gruff from real estate agents and lawyers because things weren't moving along.  

The Boss goes to Florida every January because "things slow down", and I can tell he's almost "checked out" here and not really focused.  I asked him what the plan was if things really DON"T slow down, and he assured me that they would.  I asked him if he ever considered that maybe he would be wrong.

I asked Male Co-Worker and Mistakes Girl the same question:  What's the game plan if things don't slow down in January?  And Male Co-Worker just laughed in a very cynical way (which is EXACTLY what I was thinking too!).

What folks don't realize is that Mistakes Girl is pregnant, and so things aren't really going to slow down like they usually do.  Let's hope that Associate Attorney and New Guy can step up, is all that I can say, because I will not do attorney work.  (I've tried it in the past and gotten really burned.  So no more of that.)

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 12/01/2021:
I'm a pizza girl, too! Love it! Hope you have a good day today. Try not to stress over anything, whatsever. It's not worth it.


Jacky82020 on 12/01/2021:
Could it be you’re gaining muscle mass?

Donkey on 12/01/2021:
Hmm... I don't think so in this case, because recently, with the holiday and probably the week before, I was eating more.


bearcountrygg on 12/01/2021:
Lots of sodium in pizza....you are probably holding water as well......


happy-1 on 12/02/2021:
Hugs. You have this. Breathe.



Donkey - Tuesday Nov 30, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

I don't know where my time went this morning.  No time to do weights.  Hardly any time to write here.  Could not finish replying to comments, so I will try to do that, either tonight or tomorrow morning.

Something clicked in my brain yesterday, and it was easier for me to eat less.  However, the chocolate cupcakes are gone (1 on Sunday and the last one last night), even though I "gave" them to Daughter to finish.  100% honest with you:  I was afraid that they would start to get moldy, which is why I ate them.  I find myself doing a lot of "clean up" eating lately, and even so, Husband threw out some white rice and some tomato paste that had gone bad. 

I just realized that I could have frozen those cupcakes.  Dang, I forgot...

I tried hard but did not do a morning meditation time-out at work.  It was just too busy.  I was so busy with new contracts that it was hard to keep up with emails.  And time tasks on the calendar?  Those kept falling on the back burner.  I think today should be better for me, but it will all depend on how many contracts come in.

New Gal went home early because she was sick with a cold/sinus infection.  She's blowing her nose and opening up new files.  YUCK, I don't want to touch those!  And there were like 8 contracts to open and she only got through 2.  So I may need to help her pick up the slack, but then that will put me behind on my stuff.  I just hope that I dont' get sick too.

Out of time - must go and start my day.... *sigh* 

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 11/30/2021:
Get some spray disinfectant and lightly spray them. Hope you have a nice day.

Donkey on 12/01/2021:
Yep -- also, the files she touched and worked on have been sitting for 2 days (I'm a little behind at work), so hopefully the germs have died. Still - I will be spraying, and then washing my hands after handling them.


bearcountrygg on 11/30/2021:
I would spray them too...totally agree with Maria!

Donkey on 12/01/2021:
That's the plan for today. She's been out and we've been SUPER busy, so I'm running behind on new files, because I just haven't gotten to them yet. So I'll be handling them TODAY - yes, they just sat there all day yesterday, and like I said to Maria, hopefully the bacteria has died.

I don't know if bacteria works like that. Hmm.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/30/2021:
keep sleeping decently to keep your immune system high! yeah, it's good she went home. :) i hope you week continues in an even more positive direction.

lately, i'm doing "clean up" tasks, trying to catch up with little things/tying up loose ends at work.

Donkey on 12/01/2021:
Good point about sleeping and the immunity system. I hadn't really made that connection; I just like to sleep!

But I've also been taking in a lot more vitamin C and A (more fruits, and then some flavored powder supplements in some of my drinking water).


happy-1 on 12/02/2021:
See Eeeeeeeww. Have we learned nothing from COVID?



Donkey - Monday Nov 29, 2021
(Low carb eating w recumbent bike, yoga, weights)
Weight: 136.5

Well, it's Monday morning and I'm up!  A little earlier than usual, in anticipation of going to work earlier.  I'm waiting to see if perhaps things will "start to slow down" like the Boss keeps saying they will, or if things will continue at a brisk pace for New Guy. 

Associate Attorney has a "lunch date" with realtors EVERY DAY this week.  This is his method - as recommended by the Boss - to woo realtors and their business.  Needless to say, he's gained a bit of weight, even though he walks 3 miles a day.  You can't out-exercise a bad diet.

Plus, I'm a little annoyed with all of that because, not only does it keep him out of the office for an indecent amount of time, but it really lacks innovation and original thought.  He's just doing what the Boss tells him to do.  He needs to think outside of the box!

So why am I wasting time writing about Associate Attorney?  Because I realized that what I'm really doing is telling MYSELF what to do:

  • I can't out-exercise a bad diet.
  • I need to think outside of the box, i.e. change things up.

Last night marked the beginning of Advent.  I'm kind of surprised that I haven't seen more of a to-do about Advent on social media.  It wasn't trending on Twitter at all.  I didn't see anything about it in my FB feed.

I really hope to use Advent as a time of rest, contemplation, renewal, mindfulness, silence, calmness.  Oh maybe this would be a good time to bring back my mid-morning Vespers break at work!  

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 1.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/29/2021:
still didn't ask mom about green beans. it's very simple, but i don't want to mess it up telling you anything different than what she did!

next, i really LOVE the weekly goals like for squats, etc. that is fun.

oh, also, i didn't know you were getting paid extra for the half. then, maybe it's worth it on those holiday, to get 45min of pay for 30 min right? at OT rate. i'd take it. easy money. but it's annoying at the same time after a holiday, but i'd take the pay.

wow i wouldn't be happy if i were AA gaining the weight..i'd find a way to get thru the lunches without...then again, it's hard, because it's a "working lunch" and therefore he cannnot (or I wouldn't at least!) be able to enjoy the meal!

the only advent i see...is my two married friends who are always in disney...they buy themselves advent calendars and are sooo big with it! actually, some of their friends with kids also are! LOL. just the one group of friends. i haven't heard much about it otherwise!

i know you say you "hope" advent is a time of rest, contemplation, etc....but there's more than hope....plan for it...plan in it SOME of your days! :) like a weekly goal! (my suggestion that you can bring yourself more happiness and satisfaction than you think you can!)


Horn_of_plenty on 11/29/2021:
the nurse i spoke with, not the BEST but not the worst...anyways, we spoke very briefly about trying to break the habits of turning thoughts into spriraling, accidentally due to habit, in a negative way. even without thinking, it is a habit and hard to break and folks like me and you, i believe, have to make those extra efforts to stay positive...and to remind ourselves how capable we are.

Donkey on 11/30/2021:
All too easily. I commented on Happy's diary that I notice that when my nutrition is off, that I'm more prone to negative feelings. BUT I am naturally a glass half-empty personality. I am working hard to counteract that though, and I believe that my efforts are working. I'm not always successful but it's working.

So I think the next time I start to feel depressed or anxious, I'll stop and take an inventory. How is my nutrition? How is my sleep? Am I getting outside enough? Do I have a project (e.g. craft or TV show, movie) that can interest me?

The most important cognitive change I've made is realizing that my depression isn't forever - or at least it doesn't have to be. Knowing that it's temporary, that this too shall pass, has helped me immensely overcome that drowning, sinking feeling.


happy-1 on 11/29/2021:
^HOP - you do that already. It’s a lot easier if you have all the vitamins and amino acids in place.


happy-1 on 11/29/2021:
I’m sure he’ll walk it off eventually. Glad you can get time and a half at least!!!

I was thinking about the lady at your gym who avoided you in class… Bodybuilding groups are more supportive. They compete alone but support each other like a team. Different setup than going to a gym to grind out something you don’t really want to be doing.

Donkey on 11/30/2021:
Oh yes, the OT is nice, but it is SO HARD to get to work early like that. And on that particular day where the Boss got mad about nobody being there to help him -- it had been me that usually got there early, but I was feeling particularly nauseated that morning, and arrived at work about 10 minutes late.



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