Something is going on: fell asleep before 9:30p last night, could not get out of bed this morning. Slept in too late, so exercise will be cut short, but will be sufficient. My first feeling this morning was dread of going to work. Dinner set very heavy in my stomach. Husband thinks it was the carbs from the chips. Damn. I feel like my motivation - for many aspects of my life - is at a low. I thought about this a little bit last night and then again this morning. Exercise (and thus diet, because they go hand in hand for me) motivation might be picked up with a new pair of workout shoes. Meh... not in the mood to spend more money. Work motivation might be picked up with a vacation, which will happen when we visit our son in March. The thing about vacations is that I come back to more work than I leave, so then I get resentful and mad.
EVENING EDIT: Today, one of the title companies came by to show us their new website and brought us lunch. Sandwiches, salad, and dessert tray. I had a buffalo chicken sandwich and filled the rest of my plate with salad (no dressing) that had bacon, avocado, and turkey toppings. I was careful to take mostly salad and just a tad of the toppings.
Before the title company came, I had a nectarine. After the title company left, about 2 hours later, I had some raw vegetables w/dressing.
Two things I think have made a difference so far this week:
I know it's only been 2 days, but I have high hopes for the rest of the week. Let's see what the scale will say... if it will be forgiving of the weekend's transgressions, if it will like the menu this week.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
I'm going to be accountable to myself and to you, dear DD friends: I'm sadly disappointed in myself for last night. Sunday was already a higher eating day to begin with, so I feel that I should have been satisfied with that. And then after dinner, I just caved. I'm not sure what overtook me, if it was anxiety about work, or missing my son, or hormones, or bathroom issues (or lack thereof) or what.
I was full but not stuffed, amazingly enough. I mean, that's an entire days' worth of calories right there. This morning, though, I woke to a sour stomach, which I would naturally expect.
Oh well, get back on track, keep moving forward, because that's what us donkeys do.
EVENING EDIT: So today went better, but that could be because I was full from last night - ? Even with everything I ate last night, I felt hungry this morning.
I think I'm going to have to pull back a little bit on my walking. Seriously, I do not know how people get 20,000 steps on a regular, daily basis. I'm burning out at 15,000 a day. So I'm reducing that now to just 10,000 by 1pm ish and then anything else is extra.
I finally got to the drugstore to buy more melatonin, to help me sleep at night. This really works for me. While I was there, I took a walk down the block and came back. Very short walk, but that's all I wanted today.
Dinner was chili. I added shredded cheese (OK) but then I probably had too many tortilla chips to dip in my chili. Had a Fiber One brownie for dessert with my decaf coffee.
I'm ready for an early bedtime tonight - yes, I think that would be nice... although that means I won't see my daughter until tomorrow morning for about 3 seconds. 
take a breather. stay in charge. keep on. stay motivated. you look great so keep at it!
me too - i'd hate to buy all new big clothes again. i'm working at it, again. with the new commuting, i guess my calorie needs increased but not to as much as i was eating...so i guess i'm working at figuring it out and maybe planning better breakfasts and snacks since i start at 7am and i get hungry like twice for snacks in the morning before noon...maybe i should plan a breakfast and TWO morning snacks at work! sounds like a lot but maybe this is what i need...
Not particularly inspired this morning. Changing up my routine to exercise later this morning, after breakfast, rather than first thing -- one of the privileges of a weekend.
Did not get all of my shopping done yesterday, so I went to one store to get fresh produce yesterday afternoon, and today, I will go to the other store to get meat, packaged groceries, etc. I like to be active during the day, so having a task helps me. What I should really do though is organize a closet or 2... Things on that list don't ever seem to get done.
Went shopping with Mr. Donkey yesterday to get a replacement medicine cabinet and kitchen lighting fixture, for the handyman to install. I feel that we should probably get these little fixes done now, even if we're going to stay here for another year or so. Everything is on hold until we can determine our income versus expenses, since things are changing right now, but it seems as though it might be cheaper to stay here rather than move and rent, until we know where we're going to end up, which will probably be either closer to daughter or closer to Mom.
EVENING EDIT: It was not a very good day eating-wise. I only ate until I was full, and cleaned up some leftovers. Still, it felt like all I did was eat all morning, and food was on my mind for most of the afternoon (going grocery shopping).
This past week, too, it felt like all I was doing was eating all day, even though I did not eat everything that I brought to work. (I bring some "emergency" snack food, in case I start having a carb craving or a stress breakdown, where I gotta have something sweet/salty ASAP.
Perhaps with the inclusion of more carbs in my meals during the week, e.g. oatmeal for breakfast, this will not be such a bothersome issue to me this week.
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
In addition to downsizing, there is the effort/cost of maintaining the property. My boss pointed out though that paying association dues (for a condo) cost just as much as hiring a lawn service or snow service.
I have to wait to see how our finances settle, which should play out this year, I hope. I do worry about my mom; she really misses my step-father. Fortunately, my brother and his large family are out there, to ease the pain. Also, she lives in an active senior community (55+), so she's putting her association dues to good use by joining some groups.
OK, I promise that I am happy today, BUT...
Gained half a pound!!! I'm so beyond frustrated. This is not where I belong, this is not where I should be. What is going on with my *&^% body???
Then, on top of that, I forgot to put on my FitBit until I was over halfway done with my cardio -- so all of those steps won't count. I just wasn't focused this morning. I did sleep in until 7am, which I think I really needed. But then the disappointing weigh-in.. and then the disappointing workout -- well the workout was good, but the messed up step count sucks.
I don't think I can do the Whole 30. I end up way too hungry and tired from lack of carbs. The level of fatigue this week was just overwhelming, too. So I'm going back to having oatmeal for breakfast; I seem to do better with that. This morning I had diet toast with Nutella. Whole 30 works for my husband because he cannot workout due to his health issues, but for me, who does workout, I need something that will sustain me a little more evenly.
I'm wondering if I should go back to protein shakes in the morning. I liked those, but I dislike the throught of artificial food. Plus, the powder is kind of expensive.
Much needs to be replenished in this house: groceries (fress foods only), home improvement items for handyman, and I need a trip to the drugstore for the vitamins I like.
I hope to watch the Wonder Woman movie with my husband tonight. It's kind of nice getting to spend more time with just him, although I miss my son a lot, and I wish my daughter were home for dinner more often.
Speaking of my son, please keep him in your thoughts and prayers this week. He starts "Beast Week" which is a week-long exercise in defending a post. It is very difficult work, and it's 24/7 for a week. I cannot even imagine...
Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!
I'd rather see numbers in the 120's... IDK, maybe it's just meant to be THIS way instead.
....i am not sure whether to quit practicing...i failed the beep test miserably. I have time to improve...i can try to improve by starting up my cardio again.
I was reading more about the BEEP test. To be honest, I'm not sure I could get past step 1 successfully. I'm a slow runner, although you'd think with these big legs, I'd be a sprinter.
I've been easing into the Whole 30 program with my husband. I can definitely tell that I'm "detoxing" from having more carbs than I'm having on this plan. I don't follow it strictly (me so bad) because I will have a little cheese. I attribute my "blue" feeling today to the decrease in carbs. It was very hard. In the afternoon, I felt better, as though I had turned the corner... I do think it was the carbs - lack thereof - but it could have been just all of the change and stress catching up with me.
Whole 30 is only meant to be done for a month, and then I think you get 2 weeks of incorporating some carbs back into the meals. My plan is to follow this through until we leave to see my son in March, which is not quite 30 days, but almost.
I would really like to start re-incorporating strength training into my weeks, whether that be daily push-ups or lifting weights a couple of times a week. I don't know how that would go being on this eating plan.
As you may recall, I volunteer at a legal clinic once a month. One of my co-volunteers said that last month, she almost said something to me about losing too much weight, but this month, she said that she was glad that she didn't feel that way any more. As I pretty much weigh the same now as I did last month, I think it was either the choice of clothes, or the stress I was under coming through in my facial expression, or both.
Still very dissatisfied with the shape of my thighs... Very bulky.
Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!
My weight did not change. Trying to be accepting of this.
My husband is getting back on track with Whole 30. He originally asked me to join with him, but then today, he was saying that I didn't have to. Today is my "relax" day, as far as foods, and there were some leftovers that I wasn't about to throw away. So today will be my "relax" day and then I would be happy to join him in Whole 30. Since we have dinner together, I will definitely do Whole 30 the best I can. Breakfast and lunch at work, though... that might be another story.
I do not know why this is such a struggle for me.
Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!
He said that he'd rather have hip surgery than knee replacement. The knee replacement patients in PT seemed to really be having a hard time with pain, especially in the beginning.
For example, I brought home leftover donuts from the legal clinic that I volunteer at every 3rd Saturday of the month. When my husband saw the box, he was like, "Really?" He gets very upset when temptations are around, like that.
Weight may not change in 1 week it might take longer to reflect the progress - I realize that I've done damage and I think it's take me at least a month to lose a pound or even 3 months to lose 2 lbs.
Got through a difficult day. Had only 1 brownie... Kept up with a great water intake. Got up early this morning and worked out at the hotel gym. Then went for a quick swim with my niece and nephews. The heaters just couldn't keep up with the cold, I think, and the room and the water were just a little too chilly for my preference. The hotel took out the hot tub unfortunately. THAT would have been SO nice. But it was still a pleasant stay under unpleasant circumstances.
Ate out for lunch on Saturday and then for lunch today, too. Ordered different sandwiches, which came with a bowl of soup and fruit (yesterday) or fries (today). Ate the soups and half the sandwiches. Ate all of the fruit, and I would say half of the fries.... Maybe a little more... I did not take any of the cookies home but I did take a bunch of cheese sticks home, which will be great for snacks at work to go with vegetables or an apple.
When we got home this afternoon, there was about 6 inches of snow on the driveway, so my daughter and I had to shovel. Then I did a load of laundry.
I'm very tired and dozed off a little, but I don't want to take a nap, so that I will sleep well tonight. At least I know I won't have to get up early to SHOVEL any more snow.
So my next "big event" is going to see my son graduate boot camp - if he can hang in there.
Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!
when's the graduation?
also, i'm really proud of you making the best of dealing with an unfortunate event!
and remember, a small amount of fries is fine...it's serving sizes that matter, rather than only the food choice. it's not about denial but moderate choices...more good and less heavy...but not no heavy!
proud of you.
So frustrated with the number on the scale. Extra shoveling workouts, plenty of water, extra sleep, no desserts, bathroom matters in check, stayed on track with food... 3 pound gain, gained 1% fat. Why must this be a neverending battle? When is the war won?
Today is my step-father's memorial service. The weather is snowy, so I'm not looking forward to the ride down to the suburbs. Staying the night in a hotel, to visit with family, but it's going to snow overnight, so I'm not looking forward to coming home to a lot of shoveling. Food and exercise will be a challenge.
Work is starting to get busy, but I'm keeping my stress levels in check so far. This is the calm before the storm, LOL.
Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!
or just step on it weekly....you know our bodies aren't going to display the same exact number everyday!
Major snow for the Chicago area tonight and all day tomorrow. My daughter does not have school tomorrow, so I will let her know that I expect her to keep up with the shoveling while I'm at work - presuming I can get the car out of the garage and the roads aren't too bad. I am going to bed early tonight, because I anticipate heavy shoveling tomorrow morning.
I've been doing well food -wise and exercise wise. However, I am not expecting a loss on the scale this week.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
i hope the snow is not too bad in the AM :)
you sound happy. Not every week is a loss in weight...I think i'm up a hair so i'll be working on doing better than i did this week for next week.
keep up the good work, you are definitely more on track than when your son first went to training...keep sending him positive letters in the mail, motivate and support him...tell him he can do it, to keep on, to rise above the rest by continuing on even if it's very challenging out there in basic training. he needs your support. just like you like support also :)
Oh how I would like to take a shower and get ready for bed, but I have to shovel one more time right before Daughter comes home from work tonight at 9pm. Oh well, more steps for the FitBit, more exercise for me.
I left work at 4pm today because the snow coming down had all the promises of an awful evening commute. SO GLAD I DID THIS. I had come in a half an hour early, and I can do that tomorrow too. I was all caught up when I left. I'll probably be busier tomorrow, since I'll have an extra hour of emails to plow through but it was worth it.
Received a letter from my son today. It may be the only one I get while he's in boot camp. He's having a hard time coping. So my letters have been more newsy about what's going on at home, but I think my focus will change to more encouraging and tips for keeping his head in the game. I'm worried about him. If you pray, could you please send a prayer his way? If you don't pray, could you please channel some positive energy his direction? Think Texas.
Had a food hangover this morning from the Superbowl. After we were done eating, it hit me that I had eaten something REALLY salty. I could not get enough water in me. Woke up this morning feeling all gross. I'm guessing it was the 1.5 slices of pepperoni pizza. It sure was fun though.
Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!
people quit more to negative thinking than the actual physical aspect...i have read this.
tell him this.
Not always.
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Do you think our behaviours may have anything to do with it being winter season? I know there is such a thing called seasonal affective disorder I have read. Also I wonder if we might need more calories in the wintertime? Maybe we'll feel better with springtime coming in soon. Hope you feel better. Hope you have a good day. :-)
I am starting to think it's the winter blah's catching up. Like when a New Year's Resolution wears off. It honestly feels instinctual or biological, but not hormonal (e.g. PMS), and not really emotional. I've been taking care to rest more, and that has helped a lot, I think.
bearcountrygg on 02/27/2018:
Lots of big things prying on your mind right now.....that's hard for everyone.
I agree, so I certainly do not need this weight thing being one more thing to carry around, hanging over my head. I'll write more about it in my diary.
bearcountrygg on 02/28/2018:
Returning to your old breakfast will probably help reset your determination...power of suggestion is there...if it worked before...it will work again...GOO YOU!!!
horn_of_plenty on 02/28/2018:
i agree that you need to push through this "low feeling."
i am having similar issues...
i am quite positive there's more to this, an underlying cause.